


The Sweet Taste of Determination

by Cameolot



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Backstory, But I swear I really am trying for a happy ending, Chara (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Codependency, Collars, F/F, F/M, Female Chara (Undertale), Flashbacks, Forced Orgasm, I want to say like Enemies to Friends but its complicated and super super slow and miserable, Lima Syndrome, Loss of Virginity, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot With Porn, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Promise, Protective Siblings, Sexual Slavery, Some chapters are just porn with plot, Someone take Chara away from me and from them, Suicidal Thoughts, Swapfell Chara - Freeform, Swapfell Papyrus - Freeform, Swapfell Sans, Tags May Change, Though it probably could have gone without the porn, Torture, Trying so so very hard to get a happy ending, Worldbuilding, but the overall story isn't that anymore really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-06-25 18:37:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 84
Words: 322,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15646587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cameolot/pseuds/Cameolot
Summary: Once upon a time Humans and Monsters went to war.Once upon a more recent time Papyrus' brother Sans got a promotion. And now Papyrus was off to buy him a human toy, pet, simple plaything to fuck and to kill...Humans and Monsters. That was all that was important. Humans and Monsters. Just supposed to be a week of fun. One's hell being another's heaven. Humans and Monsters. It's just the way things go. Her hell, their heaven........ but something's wrong.It's not the way it goes at all.And you may think the worse person can't change because LOVE and hurting are a cycle and the more you hurt the easier it is to hurt.But in the end, hope and Mercy are too.You just have to keep finding ways to stay determined.Even when it seems impossible and hard, and Mercy apparently seems spent.(Swapfell Surface AU) (kinda Swapfell) (mostly Swapfell)





	1. The Purchase

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Sweet Taste of Dominance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10144187) by [CrazyJanaCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyJanaCat/pseuds/CrazyJanaCat). 



> This was inspired by The Sweet Taste of Dominance by CrazyJanaCat! While now it is basically... nothing like that. This was not the plan but its what happened.
> 
> Note, I have never written smut before. At least in detail. This may end up being.. not very detailed.  
> It's a learning experience.  
> But mostly I needed it out of my head.  
> How can you look at your mother with skeleton porn inside your head?  
> This is also why some chapters may be somewhat unedited perhaps.  
> I don't know.  
> We're not there yet.  
> ..................................................... I have become shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newer notes: I got 13k or whatever before posting a chapter that I was sort of eh with and now I am editing these because I realized that this thing that was only going to be about 25k with time jumps to get it out of my head had exploded in my face. I had touched it like an itch and it consumed me.  
> Plus.... I finally figured out what the hell my angle was for Papyrus. Before he was a lot more contradicting and none of it sat right with me.

Everything was about the fight.

That was what was making Papyrus' self appointed task to fetch his brother a human so daunting. Because it wasn't just about having the human. Using the human... It was about what the human could offer. And what his brother would want more than just a simple toy would be a fight.

Everything was about the fight for his brother...

That was the attitude that had gotten Sans the promotion to begin with and why Papyrus now had to call his brother boss in public. That attitude was why Papyrus was getting his brother the human..... His brother was riding high on the pride and sense of achievement. The status of his badge was everything, but the thought had come quickly too, about how a human would make it even sweeter. Sans had only entertained the thought a week ago and now here Papyrus was. One last center to try before he gave up on his goal of finding one in time for Sans' two week mark after the promotion.

All the others had given him choices between a select few humans that had been promising but lacking and proven undesirable with just a few pushes and pulls. Too submissive. Too docile. Too breakable or already broken. Too stupid or needy. Bland and he had seen it all before.

No. No, no. It wouldn't do.

He needed one that could and would fight. But it was difficult to find in all of the usual places. They called them slaves, but in truth the humans there were pets. That was the only way he could describe them.

The whole scene had been distasteful.

And not at all what Sans needed.

Alphys had laughed heartedly when he had presented his thoughts to her, looking for suggestions since she would understand what he meant about what he wanted for Sans best.

"Hahahaha. You won't find any in those stupid little _pet_ stores with all those baked has-beens. Nu-uh. What you need is _raw meat_." She had punched her open palm. "I know just the place."

She'd given him the instructions.

It was one of the places Undyne got most of her specimens.

"We get one for a fun weekend on occasion from places like _these_." Alphys explained. "You can't just walk in, though. You need a connection. Luckily for you... You've got the connections."

She'd even called ahead for him to explain, though her hands were beginning to shake, and Papyrus looked away, pretending not to see (Not just because she would suplex him or worse if he'd mentioned it).

She'd hung up and smacked him on the back heartedly.

"Save some for me, won'tcha guys? It's been a long time since I've had any fun like that."

Papyrus only nodded.

But once Papyrus reached his destination, he immediately knew Alphys had been right to lead him there. The place had a lot more security and all of it was noticeable. The air was static with magic. And the man at the center of it all was aflame; the royal crest on the left corner of his uniform.

Grillby stood at the front of the entrance expectantly and although Papyrus couldn't see it, he could feel the wide smile on the man's face.

"Perhaps... I have something... that can help us both..." He said once Papyrus introduced himself and explained his dilemma more thoroughly than Alphys' quick and hasty explanation. Grillby revealed the file he had been holding behind his back the entire time. Papyrus hesitated before taking the file with a gruff grunt.

Immediately the exquisite red eyes caught his attention........ And he knew.... If the gaze was just as resistant in real life as it was in a single picture, Papyrus knew that it was the right one.

The elemental had only another smile at the look on Papyrus' face. Papyrus tilted his head, reading the rest of her file.

Name: Chara

Assigned Number: C5 10642

Age: 14/15 (?)

Fourteen? Fifteen....?

Papyrus wasn't entirely familiar with human ages when it came to numbers. Looking at them either to be honest. On top of it all, Monsters aged all over the place and all different shapes and sizes. Undyne or Alphys would know- But he supposed it didn't matter much to begin with. The age.... Humans were different. Everyone was taught how dangerous they were at any age; dangerous and feral.... All he's heard from other Royal Guards and Undyne.. that only reinforces the idea.

Sex: Female

Soul: Red

Just like her eyes......

History:

Captured September 15, 201X. Hospitalization; non-serious injury.Transferred to Royal Penitentiary Concentration Center upon release.

But what stopped Papyrus short was,

Stats:

HP 28

AT 14

DEF 10

LV 3

Notes: **Hostile**.

Papyrus glanced up from the paper in surprise.

"You're keeping a human with LV?"

"This is all we keep here." Grillby stated. "Their souls.... are strong. But her.. It was _undecided_.... what to do with her...." Grillby noted with a note of disgust in his hissing tone. Papyrus hummed, half wondering what about these circumstances didn't sit well with the fire monster. "Is it a problem... for you..? Royal guard?" Papyrus chuckled.

"Nyeh... No. No problem at all. Only a surprise." But he already felt a lot more confident in its prospects. Sans would see that as more challenging right at the start. There would even be a sweeter sense of poetic justice to it all than there already was.

"I'll have her... prepared...?" Grillby asked. Papyrus closed the file and nodded. "As I suspected...."

Grillby indicated one of the hallways with his hand and gave a slight bow before leading the way... They walked through another layer of security before Grillby finally led Papyrus to a large circular room with several openings blocked by energy barriers... It smelled of what Papyrus knew was blood and sterilizing chemicals....

"Disciplinary." Grillby explained as the two came to a stop by the door. "She is being brought.... Had her cleaned up when told you were going to be... coming."

Papyrus glanced over at the fire elemental, living with Sans put you on alert for the unfortunate wordplay, but the elemental gave no indication of noticing the potential grievance. But it did put him off that the man was as confident to assume Papyrus would agree to see the girl. That presuming arrogance. It half made him want to turn around and walk out, Sans would have probably wanted him to as well.

But he didn't. Because tomorrow was already the two week mark. And how long could you go from an important date and still give a gift to congratulate it?

And besides..... He hadn't found what he was looking for anywhere else and he had already needed Alphys' help getting in here.

A door on the other end of the room turned from blue to orange and in moments the energy barrier disappeared. A large dog monster with the stupidest expression came through it, and behind him with her hands cuffed out in front of her and being led in with a collar and leash; the girl. She wore and unassuming grey scrub-like shirt and pants and flimsy shoes that were basically tissue paper, but even so, Papyrus was immediately caught off guard by the sight of her.

The picture in her file did not do justice to the vibrancy of the red eyes.

She didn't looked scared or concerned at all despite having to know that this expedition outside of her room being different than usual. Her hair was still wet and her skin slightly red from being cleaned. That should have given it away.

Instead her expression was smug and confident, and she smiled, her teeth showing almost threateningly.

"Good afternoon, Grillbz. Whose the bag of bones? Off to domestic already, am I?" She asked in almost a sing-song. The collar around her neck sparked and she hissed in pain. Papyrus could feel an equally smug but anticipating energy coming off of the fire monster. The girl straightened back up the moment the collar was done, her smug expression still there.

"Yes..." Grillby said. " _Domestic_."

You could see in the girl's eyes that she had caught by the tone of his voice, that he did not mean entirely what he said. Her gaze immediately became more appraising and suspicious, looking Papyrus over more carefully.

"Place her in the center." Grillby ordered the dog. The dog yanked on the girl's leash in its excitement to obey. Papyrus watched from a few paces away as the girl stood the green circle. Immediately, her Soul came forward with a brilliant red light before it was seeped in green and the cuffs too glowed, making her hands immovable. Papyrus could see the girl gritting her teeth in frustration but trying to hide it. "Good boy.... Unleash her... and leave us... Go have a treat.."

Papyrus nearly paled at the shameful display as the dog bounded out without so much as a considering thought. Other than, perhaps, good boy and treat....

"And you let him handle dangerous, dangerous _hoomans-_ ah!" Papyrus turned his attention back to the girl who was recovering from another shock from the collar that Grillby had sent through her.

"C5. Young and healthy, despite her troubles..." Grillby informed Papyrus. "Thoroughly untrained, though.. as a slave...... Not the sort of thing we do here.." Papyrus nodded in understanding but it did not matter.

"Training will not be a problem." Her training would be with Sans.

The fight... And yet no real fight at all.

Like a cat with a mouse in its grasps, playing with it and the mouse still trying to get free with all of its power despite it being pointless. It just kept making the game that much more fun...... And.. Longer.

"Must admit... Hadn't expected her to last this.. **long**." Grillby told him. There seemed to be a tone of resentment in his voice. But the information was promising.

The girl was glaring at them from her place in her circle of green magic. It was no longer smug but deadly. Murderous, even. If not for the nullifying effects of the collar, Papyrus assumed the intent would have been clear in the air towards all of them. Instead all she had was her glare...

"And aren't you _so_ **sorry** about it."

And her words.

Grillby only chuckled in amusement. The girl hissed as the collar gave off a spark. The only will to be expressed here, was his.

And now... Papyrus'.

Papyrus indicated the confined girl with a tilt of his skull.

"May I?" He asked. Grillby nodded.

"....But of course."

Papyrus could feel the elemental's excitement growing and he could feel the leering expression even if he couldn't see it as Papyrus turned away and began to walk towards the girl. The doors to the room sealed shut, the red energy blackening and turning opaque to block out everything happening in the room from the outside world. Papyrus could feel her slight flinch and her desire to glance over threateningly towards Grillby, but couldn't dare take her eyes off of him whom she correctly identified as the eminent threat as he came closer, working to take off his gloves and tucking them away safely.

"If needed... we have... testing equipment.."

"More than this should not be necessary." Papyrus informed him. "It will not be long."

In part he had nearly made his decision already.

He stood right in front of her, towering.... But she kept her face lifted and her gaze unflinching.

Determination, Undyne would call it..

Her Soul was now high above her, pulsing with the sensation and unrelenting.

"... Try anything you need..."

The girl snarled at him, the eyes on fire as he grabbed between the green glowing cuffs and lifted her hands high above her head.

"I'm not scared of you, pain, or death." She told him sternly, fully thinking she meant it.

Papyrus stared calmly down at her face....

"Perfect."

Proving her wrong would be exactly the thing Sans would want.

Papyrus saw the flicker of doubt in the back of her eyes though she kept her expression fierce. Papyrus yanked up on the cuffs a bit more and the expression faltered as she was forced to stand on her tip toes. He let the cuffs go and took a step back and began to walk around her. She moved her head as best she could to keep him in her sights at all times.

"Remove her... clothes... if needed." Grillby's voice came and finally the girl's attention returned to the fire elemental with what Papyrus could feel from her Soul, was hatred.

Papyrus reached out, his hand slipping beneath the fabric of her shirt.

The girl growled, trying to kick one of her legs backwards. There was a spark from the collar, but she pressed on, screwing her eyes shut and still kept trying her best to get his hand off of her. Papyrus gave Grillby a short shake of the head and the shock stopped. Papyrus grabbed her hair at the roots and held tightly. She yelped and bit her tongue, but her attempts to kick him away ceased out of necessity. Papyrus lifted the back of the shirt.

Scars and cuts littered her back and instinctively Papyrus' hand glowed green in healing. Could not have her too damaged before Sans got a hold of her... The injuries began to fade surprisingly well. Except the large, round circle just above her left hip. It looked like an old exit wound....

"From when she was... caught. I believe." Grillby informed him, interpreting Papyrus' lingering gaze correctly. Papyrus nodded. Papyrus released her hair and stepped back before beginning to walk back around. The girl's teeth showed threateningly and her eyes showed her intent to ponce again. As if she was the cat.... not the mouse.

The moment Papyrus lifted his hand towards her face, she snapped her jaw forcefully. But with the way her body was stretched and her head tilted, she could not move it enough to actually be a threat....

Papyrus gripped at her throat, squeezing threateningly as he came closer.

He could see her legs beginning to shake... the position becoming more than just a bit uncomfortable. But still she stayed determinedly defiant. And would continue to be so, he knew....

"What is your name?" Papyrus asked, though he already knew it. He simply wanted to test her response.

"Fuck. You." She managed, though her head tilted back and his hand around her neck, it seemed difficult to breathe. She wanted to kick and squirm but still remained unable. Papyrus simply smiled at her response before his face falling near unaffected again.

The girl bucked, trying to get him but was unable to get enough distance without letting herself be strangled. Physically, she could not move. She could not resist, but her eyes were still piercing and fire. That was something. Exactly what they needed her to be. Something with no real control, something to be controlled, but who would still fight.

Yet her eyes were piercing and fire.. but Papyrus' fingers around her neck gave him an alternative perspective with the racing of her pulse.

He wrapped his other hand around her and trailed it up her back again beneath her shirt. Papyrus lifted his hand to the back of her head, rising up from within the collar of the shirt, dragging up the fabric a bit. He put pressure on the back of her skull as he let go of her from the front. This gave him a much more manageable position to work with.

He took a small step back and lifted the front of her shirt half way to show her stomach.

The scar on the left side was nasty indeed but too healed over to worry about. It was like a spider across her skin.....

Papyrus began to work his way up the front of her body and the girl stiffened at the touch as Papyrus revealed her breasts. Papyrus could feel the girl's head jerk back, as she tried to get away on instinct, but he only tightened his grip to keep her steady and did not hesitate to grab one and begin to squeeze and fondle it, running his thumb in a circle around and over her nipple. At first she did not show any alarm other than the soft, momentary holding of her breath. When it resumed she growled and tried to buck and Papyrus let her, knowing the action was nothing... Perhaps to also let her also know it was nothing. That was important too, wasn't it....

"Hm." Papyrus released her chest and reached up to grab her Soul. The girl gasped in pain as his fingers gripped it, but soon the Soul pulsed in green light and refused even as he tried to go over it like an apple in his hand. Papyrus disregarded the Soul and let it float again near her captured hands as he continued to work his fingers over her body. Mechanically. Testing the skin. There were scars but a lot of potential still remained. Sans would appreciate that.

Papyrus hummed to himself though. He could feel it as he continued to work his fingers across her skin: she really was young.

The human was beginning to breathe uncomfortably from his handling and he could see the realization and understanding seeping into her slowly... At how this had not just been touching her to test her. But also something else... She could sense his ulterior motives.

She struggled all the more, growling as she tried to kick even with the assured pain it would send through her head.

Continuing to Fight even when she was powerless.

But Papyrus is not like Sans. He does not appreciate the fight.

This is why he now calls Sans boss in public.

It was time to test what he truly needed to.

The hand behind the back of her head wrapped around and covered her lips. She could not hide the fear in her eyes this time as his left hand reached the waist of her pants. She tried to struggle, to get his hand away from her, tried to bite his fingers in anger, but there is genuine alarm in her eyes that she cannot even pretend to hide or mask as realization worked its way through her as to what that something else was. Not just to test, but to prepare.

His skeletal fingers slide beneath the fabric. Papyrus can feel her try to take in a sharp breath, the base of a scream in her throat, but she swallowed the sound as she turned rigid stone when his other hand finds the lips of her entrance.

Terror. Panic. They are in her expression. Also the pulsing of her Soul.

She had never been owned. Never been used. Papyrus knows it immediately just from the alarm he feels off of her that she is a virgin. He wonders if she had even touched herself.

But the way she resumes trying to get out of his grasp, to fight, more forcefully and with less thought to her pattern of actions, Papyrus knows she at least understands what this means. It is not a new concept to her even if she does not have any or all the details. She understands even if she has been able to avoid it up to this point.

 _"Domestic."_ Grillby had said at the start with that strange tone.

He also knows from her inability to remain entirely calm that this was not something she had suspected. Out of all the things she had suspected to happen to her since coming here, this is the one thing that she hadn't anticipated since perhaps the first week or so. Back then when everything and any horrible possibility had raced through her head. And then it had gone.

When she had seen Papyrus she had expected something else entirely. Something she could face.

Him, pain, death even. Domestic servitude of some strange sort.

Papyrus leaned forward, breathing against the skin of her clavicle as his fingers settled themselves and he began to run her clitoris. She moved her head violently, trying to get his hand off of her mouth. Her thighs squeezed together but as Papyrus dips a finger deeper down between them she has to stop moving to cut off a cry.

Papyrus can tell she is out of her playing field in every way.... And cannot seem to adjust to this new type of confrontation.

This is exactly what Sans would need.... Exactly...

She tried to swing a leg up to knee him, Papyrus gripped tighter between her thighs and she only succeeded in moving her body more against his prodding fingers and burying his hand deeper. Papyrus dug a finger between her folds and began to penetrate.

Her face managed to break free of Papyrus' hand over her mouth and immediately-

"Get OFF!" She snapped her teeth at Papyrus' hand but there was a small shock from the collar and she shouted out in too many emotions that she couldn't get a handle on. Papyrus pulled out his finger and slid back in. But when he pulled out again, he slid back upwards, concentrating on just the outside.

Sans would get the honors later.... It was his toy after all, everything that happened to it would be up to him in the end..

Curiously, Papyrus pressed his teeth down against her clavicle and formed his tongue, licking up the side of her neck. The girl gasped in horror and he could feel her move without saying so, to get away. He glanced briefly at her expression. The horror clear, just like Papyrus had wanted.

He smiled as he pulled his tongue back in and let it dissipate. He could see her mind coming to the same conclusions. About what else he could also form. The panic that had been just bellow the surface threatened to bubble up and Papyrus felt her thighs tighten around his hand as she tried to squirm once again.

Papyrus embraced her completely, breathing against her neck warmly as he pressed her up against him, her feet had lost their hold on the floor and she was completely at his Mercy. She couldn't move without making Papyrus' work easier.

"Grill... by..." Her voice was soft and broken as she struggled to breathe. But there was a hint of disbelief... the soft trace of a plea even.

"This... is only what you deserve, C5." Grillby's deceivingly calm even voice came; watching her changing expression with delight. Papyrus moved his fingers down farther, playing with her entrance. There was a small, tense sound from the back of her throat. Papyrus tilted his head so he could see at least half of her expression.

She was growing incredibly wet and panting with uneven breath. She did not even have the floor against her toes to balance herself anymore. Only the chains around her wrists and Papyrus as he held the back of her neck and pressed her body hard against his as he continued to work smoothly between her thighs.

He had planned to stop before her outburst and trying to bite his hand, but now he knew he was obligated to keep at it for a bit longer.

That was how it went. The more she resisted... the longer the torment would last...

She was trying to bury her face against the crook of her arm, having to close her eyes as it became impossible to keep her eyes piercing. Papyrus watched her face, feeling his own ecto-flesh beginning to form but he remained outwardly unmoved even as she couldn't; Papyrus was entirely professional.

The sensation was foreign and she was at a loss as to what to do. How to resist. Pain was one thing and familiar, but this...

The girl's face was flush and she bit her own lip as she tried to stop the whimper.

It really was all unfamiliar to her.

Being powerless. Being unable to resist.

As her body began to betray her.

Papyrus lifted his head from her neck and peered down at her face. If he was honest, he felt curious. This was the closest he had ever been to a human. Of course he'd seen plenty. It came with territory of being a Royal Guard and best friends with The Royal Scientist. But he hadn't realized just... how warm and expressive they could be. He hadn't taken that into account but it made this idea seem better. Sans would already know these things from all of his recent training with Alphys. It would be interesting to see what else they could learn together.

"Look at him... C5."

She closed her eyes even more tightly in protest to Grillby's voice.

" **Look.** At him."

There was a shock from the collar and she yelped and tilted her head back, but when she opened her tearing eyes she stared at the ceiling and **refused**. Papyrus pressed her body up against him more tightly and put his face directly in front of hers. Forcing her to look at him with his hand still behind the back of her neck. Papyrus stopped rubbing between her thighs but kept his hand there. Squeezing. Then spreading out his fingers wider and playing with her entrance and clitoris at the same time, poking in the tip of her finger before pulling it back out. The red eyes briefly went unfocused and Papyrus felt her legs tense, resisting the urge to buck into him.

Her thighs around his hand were squirming. Silently begging for more touch but her racing heart and expression were begging him to stop. Both of which Papyrus knew she was frustrated with and even more frustrated in the fact she did not know how to deal with either. Her body's betrayal to what she truly wanted and her expressions betrayal in revealing it. She closed her eyes again and turned her face back into the safety of her arm. Papyrus rubbed slowly again and she bit her lip.

"Good girl." Grillby told her, his voice even. She bit down harder against her lip, trying to stop it from trembling.

Papyrus finally began to pull his hand up from beneath the fabric of her pants. The girl let out a misled relieved cry as Papyrus pulled away from her, her head fell forward as she took in deep breaths.

"..... Satisfied....?" Grillby's voice came as Papyrus took a step back to be able to appraise the girl's now dangling disheveled form in full, wiping off her own juices against her shirt.

"No." Papyrus stated but his mind caught on to that word, knowing just what Sans would say if he had been there. "But she will be, eventually."

Grillby laughed softly to himself and all of it only reminded Papyrus of how much Sans would play with her.

Fuck you. Get off.

Two of the things she had said to him.

"There is a lot of potential." Papyrus agreed turning back to Grillby.

Sans would have a field day with those abhorred puns.

"I am... glad..." The two men stood by the exit as the doors turned back into clear orange light. They glanced back towards the girl who was lifting her head, trying her hardest to blink back a trembling expression and stare hatefully. It only took a moment, but her teeth clenched and she snarled.

Papyrus knew if she could she would have killed both of them. The entire facility.

But that was only if she could....

And it would never make up for the fact that this feeling rose up from the shame. Even if that was something new Papyrus had to wrap his skull around that humans could even feel that acutely as it had been on the girl's face.

"Tomorrow?" Papyrus asked, refusing to look away from the red eyes.

".. the morning." Grillby agreed. "The papers...?"

Papyrus nodded and turned to leave, keeping his gate even and the doors turned black behind him and Grillby and cut them off from the girl's gaze. Papyrus quickly put back on his gloves but he had to notice how consciously aware of his moist hand beneath it he was even as Grillby handed him the papers he needed to sign to begin the transfer process.

But whatever this was the start of, the only thing that mattered was that Sans would like his gift. Even if it only lasted a day or so, a week even, as long as he approved. That was the only thing Papyrus really needed: his brother happy.

And that was yet another reason Sans was the boss.


	2. The Plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby wins.....  
> But how can you win when you've already lost so much..?

Sans needed the fight.

Papyrus needed approval.

And all Grillby needed..

He watched Papyrus leave, a content and triumphant feeling in his Soul as he put the signed papers safely away in his desk. Locking it. Not daring to risk losing it.

Then... He began to make his way back to Disciplinary.

The blackened doors turned orange and Grillby entered the room, the triumphant feeling emerging from deep within his chest and forming a smile most could not distinguish on his face even as he kept his hands behind his back and his gate even.

C5 had lifted her head immediately and glared at him, the red eyes burning just as much as his own fire despite the tears he knew she had been struggling to fight since half way through Papyrus' handling. Murder was in her gaze, the intent there even if the collar nullified it. She was probably imagining dangling him over a bucket of water and slowly watching him go out, bit by bit in steamy bit.

The collar sparked aggressively, close to the highest level, and the red eyes closed as she screamed at the unexpected pain. And it did not stop. She tried to coil her body even as she continued to dangle with her hands high above her head.

" _Release_." Grillby thought. The green magic cut off and the circle darkened. The girl yelped as she fell to the floor and continued to wriggle from the intensifying pain from the collar. She grip at it with her now free hands, but it was impossible to separate it from her skin.

The collar finally let up and she gasped helplessly on the floor, resting her forehead against the ground.

".... You're... a.. bastard." C5 managed. The collar sparked once again and she gave out a quick shout but this time she could not be surprised. She slumped back down against the floor once it was over.

"This is only... what you deserved.." His flames hissed again. "After your... luck.... at the labs."

Her teeth were gritted together again as she glared up at him.

"Who knew... fate simply had something better in store..."

Because while he had been furious about the labs, he knew... Even that would not have been able to break her the way he wanted to. Because she can deal with torture, he knew already. Even the thought of death though she would rather avoid it.

But this was different. This was knew.

The expression on her face as Papyrus had played with her. The way her eyes had gone unfocused and her face helpless. The way she had said his name.... The _closest_ he had ever gotten a plea from the demon.

But this is what she had deserved. This exact fate. Fate had handed it to Grillby so easily.

Because the exact thing that made her so unbearable... The exact thing that she held so dear: her determination.

"Fuck you." C5 growled again and Grillby tsked as he bent down to hold her by the chin. He squeezed, letting the touch be uncomfortably warm.

"You're going to have to find.. a different comeback.." He told her.

Because that was the exact thing he was selling her for.

The realization was in her eyes but still she did her best to appear unafraid. That was her other problem, wasn't it? The child-

She closed her eyes her thighs pressed together as she fought another wave of unfulfilled need and Grillby's smile twisted.

"It hurts... doesn't it....?" He asked. "A different type..."

"I hate you....." She whispered.

"Isn't that... the only thing you can do?" He asked too darkly for someone constantly giving off light. "You... and your _kind_..." He shoved her chin forcefully and she grunted as she was sent back to the floor. Grillby stood back up to tower over her.

She had been a pain in his side since the moment she had been dragged here from the hospital.

Whoever had decided to save her instead of just let her bleed out in a fucking alley, he did not appreciate. At all.

But at the same time, finding ways to make sure she continued to suffer, Grillby could relate.

It was the only reason he had considered sending her to the labs in the first place.

And then the stupid king had ruined even that plan. The thought that she had almost won, almost made it out of here without getting everything she _deserved_... He could have boiled her blood within her skin.

"Your lack of training... he said it would not matter.. but I would feel guilty without sending you off without... at least some." C5 looked back up, her eyes widening and she tried to stand up, to get out of the green circle, but the pain from the collar sent her back down to the floor.

And if he only had one more day then he at least better get the most out of it for all the trouble she had caused.

For her entire existence.

The entrances of the doors went black, blocking out everything. Even if she were to call for help, nobody would come.

"Can't scar you.." Grillby noted, the green magic overcoming C5's Soul and the collar let up on its assault. She coughed, trying her hardest to recover.

"You're a.. coward.." She said from her place on the floor, her voice hoarse. "If not for this collar I'd kill you."

"..... Is that so?"

C5 gasped as the green magic stopped and she felt the collar turn off. Her hands rose to her neck in shocked disbelief. But then... her teeth clenched and the rage of her murderous intent filled the room. C5 lifted herself up, swinging her fist as hard as she could. He caught her hand, his flames blazing and letting the heat and pressure consume her hand.

"AAaAAH!" She collapsed onto her knees, tears immediately in her eyes. He cut off the heat from his flames but did not let go.

"Now... If you are done..." He began. "Check me."

The girl let out a soft whimper, but her pained expression was still hardened, despite the way she wanted to cry.

And for once in her life... She obeyed.

*Check

Grillby:

LV 15

HP 73/76

AT 38

DF 13

And then she laughed.

Grillby released her hand and watched her sit back on the ground, still laughing in that awful way that she did sometimes when being tortured. It was one of the things he hated most about her-

The collar surged back to life with another intense shock. She collapsed forward onto the floor but even through the pain there was a semblance of a laugh. The shock switched off and Grillby waited patiently....

"He.hehehehe..." She continued near deliriously. ".. only... Only 15?" She laughed outright again and she glared up at him even with one eye half closed from the lingering pain in her body. "For all the humans you come into contact with... and you still... only 15?" She snickered. "Man, you're really bad at being bad."

He saw her grit her teeth, expecting the shock of the collar but it didn't come. No... if he did, he was certain he would not be able to stop. He'd been at 15 for awhile now, she could be the exception that got him to LV 16... But no.

The circle glowed green and C5 hissed as her Soul floating above her went green.

Let her spend the night stuck in that position for all he cared.

"Please...." Grillby froze, his flames flickering in obvious surprise. He had imagined it. He had to have imagined it. He turned his attention back towards her and she struggled to lift a hand but it fell again against the floor. She closed her eyes in defeat. "Please... Please don't do this..."

Begging.

C5 was actually.... begging.

"Please don't sell me to him. Please. Lie. Kill me even. Just... please... Please don't d-do this..."

So. The seriousness of this situation was not lost upon her. She had even given up her last card. The one thing she had always refused Grillby in every other circumstance.

The unspoken plea in her voice as Papyrus had touched her had been sweet but this was beyond words.

But he supposed that now it did not matter. She had nothing else to lose but to beg. And after all, he already knew the truth about her. That she was nothing more but a child trying to act tougher and braver than she actually was.

His flames bristled at that and he banished it from his mind.

"And right after.... he told you.. to stay determined."

"Please..." She repeated.

Grillby came close again and bent down onto one knee, reaching and grabbing C5 by the face; delighted at her lack of trying to bite him.

"You listen..." He demanded. "You will go... tomorrow. With the Royal Guardsman... And you will leave knowing.. everything you ever did.. here. To resist.. was for nothing. Because in the end... you still _begged_."

The crackle of flames was intense on the last word and C5 closed her eyes with a trembling bottom lip.

"And know that... even with everything you do there... Surviving. I promise you... eventually.. you will also beg for them... How. When. For what. I don't know.. But you are nothing. Nothing at all. But scum. Who was never in control. A demon who should not even.. exist. Just like all humans. And every bit of pain given... you deserve."

The red eyes opened, the accursed determination swelling once more to replace the tears.

No matter how many times! No matter how much she fell! Somehow!! It always came back! And he hated it...

But this time he also understood where it came from. Rising up to replace her last bit of hope he would give her Mercy.

"I'd tell y-you to burn in hell," she began, "but you're already the devil." Grillby stood up and towered over her. "One day... I hope somebody takes everything away from you."

Grillby's calm composure was gone as his flames flared. The collar sparked and C5 screamed as it didn't stop and the intent behind it only grew.

But the thought of giving what she wanted, playing into her hands and accidentally killing her. The thought cut off the shock in an instant, releasing her from the agony it was inflicting. Grillby stared down at the helpless girl.

"One of you demons.. already did."

And he left her there alone, laying on the floor.

They should have never sent the child here to begin with, she hadn't been worth any of the pain! And then The King sending the child back after Grillby had been rid of her! Encouraging her even, stay determined?! The exact ego burst she didn't need along with the promise to be transferred to domestic to be rehabilitated.

That _Mercy_....

The human that killed his daughter hadn't given her any!

Dr. Undyne had the right idea... The King and Queen would have been better off destroying them all the first time instead of putting everyone through all of this.

　


	3. The Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the most determined can't stay strong all the time....  
> But best have those moments when you're alone.

There had been many things... she had been prepared for. So many things she could handle. She'd been handling them all her life.

But this... Papyrus and Grillby had been right from the beginning...

This was something she had never prepared herself for. She couldn't have. She'd been too busy fighting other threats that this one had blindsided her. As a child on the streets, working yourself between the cracks of Monsters and Human rebellion, trying not to get caught... You work out the response to pain and teach yourself that big kids don't cry and help teach that to those important to you. IF you're stupid and enough of an idiot to take that risk in having important people to begin with. To love...

LOVE, of course. Though most were not brave enough to go that far knowing that once you were caught it was almost a certain death sentence. For Chara it had always been better to die later than now, she supposed.

She had been prepared to be sent here, or some place like it. She'd been prepared for pain and even death. She had even prepared to be sent to the labs when the time had come. She'd prepared herself mentally, accepting that her Soul would be ripped from her chest and used and experimented on by that deranged human loathing doctor everyone always talks about.

But she had been sent and then sent back.

For once in her life. Just once.

It had seemed like she had won.

She had never expected... for Grillby to pull up something like this.

She had known he hated her. From the very beginning even before she had even done anything to him but existed. At first she had suspected it was the LOVE but soon discovered every other human here was the same: rebels, fighters, lingering groups of humans descendent from survivors of the Great War that had escaped into the shadows and others underground...

She was just one of the street children through the cracks.

She didn't know what she did that was so different from the others to make him hate her specifically so much...

It hadn't mattered to her though. He hated her. Simple. She hated him. If she could she would take a bucket of magic water and watch him slowly flare out. Dip him in. Toes first. Down and down until he was just a screeching head. Until all that was left were glasses and the uplifting feeling of her LV reaching 5...

She... She had... She had known he had hated her and she had hated him. But to go out of his way... To do something he didn't do typically... To her specifically.

This thing...

He'd been told to send her to domestic for training, but this...

To that skeleton.

She...

She found herself trembling again on the floor, the fear in her chest though she wished she could kill it. Put it in that same magic water and douse it completely.

But she couldn't hide it or deny it...

She was afraid.

She'd known what to expect and prepare for in everything else. She had accepted the inevitability of certain outcomes.

That this place...

With its bars and security and magic and endless pain and the fact that she was never going to see the sun again... Only this place with its darkness and pain. She was never getting out.. So instead she had done what she had always done: fight. Even if this time it was only for herself. To be able to fight to the end... That had been her only goal.

And with the labs... Loaded up into those windowless vans and led off to be worse than slaughtered.

Only to be spared.. spared by someone so unexpected that she still couldn't wrap her head around it or understand.

She knew it was because of her age, she understood that. But she did not understand.. why he should have cared. Nobody had cared before.

Nobody cared now.

She'd been spared. For once in her life somebody had spared her. But of fucking course it had been pointless.

She swallowed as she lay there on the floor, the fear and the hatred swelling within her: She had almost been there.

She would have gone with the slavers, would have gone and trained and been the most obedient servant all the while she plotted and planned. She could have gotten out. Gotten free... She could have found her way back!

For once since getting caught, she had let herself hope it could be.

And everything had fallen through...

And she was scared. She was scared and she didn't want to be but she couldn't lie to herself this time. She couldn't find a way to rationalize what was about to happen. Because.. she didn't know what was about to happen.

She felt the tears stinging in the back of her eyes and she laughed. And laughed. The sound bubbling up like it usually did when she was in intense pain and refused to cry.

She was terrified. She didn't want to be, but she was.

The sensation of the skeleton's fingers working their way across her body. The way it had started to burn. Like electricity across her skin... Like the shock static of the collar but from her own body and... and the heat of her flushing face and the way it had started to grow wet and his fingers moving m-more. Moving and gripping and touching her, his breath-

The laughter was gone despite the tears in the back of her eyes.,...

She knew what rape was. At least... the basic idea of what it all entailed even though she didn't know the details or how a skeleton could... could... could do it...

_That tongue against her skin._

She was trying to push herself harder against the floor, as if it could get the idea away from her. Her Soul was glowing green above her and the red eyes stared at it, trying to calm herself with its radiant pulse. She could see the tint of red underneath the artificial green magic.

And she understood why she was afraid...

Pain, she could handle. Death though she would prefer not to. But she could handle those. They could hurt your body. They could tear it to pieces and still never truly touch you... as long as you refused to give up to them. Truly give up.

They could try but they couldn't take your Soul if you didn't break.

But this she had no clue if she would still be able to do that. The fear of losing herself somehow... it was startling real.

When anyone ever talked about this sort of thing... it always sounded personal, something closer than even torture... Like just by doing it, they were stealing something irreplaceable from you. She didn't know what to think or expect. But if this could get inside your head... Your Soul...

The way his fingers had... Had worked.. And he had breathed against her all the while holding her as if she was nothing... And his expression... Amused at times and indifferent at others. Just testing her... In torture people wanted you to give them something. Obedience, information, something... But this...

Her body had responded on its _own_. With pain, you cried and screamed out sometimes because you couldn't help it. But this was somehow.. different. Different. Because pain always came from outside of you, this had been her own body. Even when she didn't want it too, it had responded to his touch, sent shivers down her spin, it had wanted him to continue... needing... She didn't want to know what it had needed. She didn't want to know!

But she was scared...

Pain, she could cry and scream but still resist... somehow. But this...

She was scared.

She didn't want to break. She didn't want to beg... Beg for them to stop. Beg for them to... to _continue_...

She was scared, she was so scared...

And what scared her the most was that she had already given a bit of herself away. Grillby's fiery expression and his hissing words as she had looked up at him and _begged_... and the way he had looked delighted.

She didn't know what was going to happen, but she knew what they would want.

They wanted her to _break_.

They wanted her to grovel and beg and she had given it to him.

But no. No. She would never do it again. She had known he had been consumed in fiery hatred, she had never anticipated that he was rotten in the core.... It had been the LV, hadn't it? That thing. Awful but powerful at the same time.... It had been a mistake to expect mercy from the likes of him. To not have anticipated him being that truly evil.

She was scared but if she was honest, she was always a little bit scared even if it wasn't what the others seemed to expect. Pain, death, they didn't scare her. It was something else that came with those things. Something in the longer game that she was playing in this...

The long game...

Her breathing was beginning to even out and the determination filled her.

Right. The long game. She was still getting out of here. That was something.

And if she was out there, even in the unknown, at least she would be one step closer to getting out completely.

Even though she was scared... She'd never give them what they wanted. And if she couldn't help it... Somehow she slipped. She would get back up and try again. Just like this. Battles she could lose but the war was everything she would stand for.

Yes. She would stay determined, just like that conflicting King had told her to.

Stay determined.

And win.

Somehow.

Someway.

Win.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 But at the moment she was scared.

And just this once, on the floor and alone where nobody could hear her... she let herself cry.

She'd let herself cry just this once and afterwards she promised she would go back to Fighting...

And never stop.

Not until she got herself free...

Free... and back home.

Even if she wasn't sure where or how. Even if she wasn't sure of anything and absolutely everything unknown....

And that was the reason she was scared to begin with...


	4. The Lesson About LOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys isn't taking Sans' shit.  
> Sans realizes there is a secret he isn't in on.
> 
> AKA: info dumps and world building and character insight I didn't plan on because I wasnt' planning on much of anything.  
> Also mostly focusing on dialog so we can move along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also why I said its kinda Swapfell. Cuz a lot of characters are much the same. Only different backgrounds and placements. Idk what I'm doing. Yay.

"If you guys want anything saved for you, you better catch up!" Sans called back over his shoulder as the blaster surged forward through the smoke and dust as he rode in on it, his feet positioned and prepared to leap into the fray. The fact that everything ahead of him was unknown and hostile, filling Sans with exhilarating magic. Like this... Sans wasn't scared of anything.

Though a few hours later, that proved to be False.

"Sans. I have to talk to you." Alphys stood, her arms crossed, a serious scowl on her face. The scar over her left eye helped give it biting force. But Sans was unmoved and gave her his best, crooked smile.

"Sup, Alphys?" He strode in beside her, his stance relaxed in direct contrast to her stiff and tall stance.

"Don't _sup_ me, Sans. They told me you charged ahead of your unit _again_." Sans shrugged and lifted his hands helpless as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, well, can't help it if they're not quick enough for the quips-"

" **Don't.** " Sans opened a single eye, looking her over as he caught on to something different about her today.

"Shesh, what got under your scales today. You okay there Alphys?" Sans asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"That depends." She told him, in a tone that told him that it depended very much on him.

"I'm just doing my job, Alphys-"

"YOU'RE showing OFF and it is going to get you and others KILLED." She spat in his face but he refused to flinch. Still unafraid. Alphys sighed and relaxed her stance. "Look. I am all for putting yourself out there. Taking initiative and fighting your hardest. That's the reason I let you into the Royal Guard to begin with, the reason you got your promotion. But you also got that promotion because of how _well_ you _worked_ _ **with**_ Papyrus. Just because you're only working with other people now half of the time and when you are with Papyrus, he is working beneath you, that does not mean you can just act however you want."

"I'm-"

"NO!" Alphys cut off. "I've seen this before and I'll see it again and right now I am cutting it off at the source! You've just got your promotion. You feel so powerful right now and you want a fight that isn't coming fast enough for you even with your new position."

"Hm. Maybe you're just scared I'll get ahead of you. You've always said I had potential and now that I have the chance to gain some real LOVE and not this wimpy 2 and 3 stuff-"

"You're acting like an ASS, Sans. What is there to be jealous of?! I GET IT. WE do reckless shit in training but on the FIELD you KNOW better and you KNOW you're wrong and its that stupid fucking LOVE and the power rush that is making you think this way. And as for you getting AHEAD of me. There are a lot of people with higher ones than me. The stats aren't everything Sans!"

"Yeah, well, they sure as hell don't hurt!" Sans yelled. Alphys' face was solid stone and Sans felt his magic twist in uncertainty. Because her face made it clear that she didn't agree even if she didn't say it.

Alphys grabbed him by the shoulders and he jumped, ready to teleport out, but instead she just held him there.

"Sans. I care about every one my team but you and Papyrus, I've come to consider family to some degree. If anything happened to you I would have yet another thing I could never forgive myself for. SO I am going to tell you something you must not repeat to anyone else..."

"U..Uh... Okay?"

"PROMISE."

"I promise!" Alphys sighed, but he could tell she was starting to get nervous in that way she did. He pretended not to notice. Especially with her hands still on his shoulders.

"You remember the last head of the Royal Guard?"

"Gaster? Sure, why?"

"He was brilliant in strategy and an all out fighter. But he.." The grip on his shoulders tightened. Still he didn't notice noticeably. "LOVE is something you're just getting into cuz now you can. What are you at now?"

He wasn't getting how this was important but he would bite.

"LV 3 now. But give it time."

"EXACTLY my point!" She growled. "LOVE makes you feel powerful and you can't get enough of it at first but at a certain point you start to feel sick. Or worse. You're sick and you refuse to notice it and you get you or other people hurt. So you need to not be a fucking idiot out there, got it? LOVE isn't everything. You don't need it as long as you have the skill!"

And with that she suplexed him.

"Ah-! Wait!"

Right into the ground, his face in the dirt. Sans lifted his head, spitting out the taste of the ground as she held him down.

"Alright! I get it! LV dangerous. Cocky dangerous!" She snickered behind him and he fought to get a look at her face. "What? What is the joke?!"

"Cocky."

"What?"

"Nothing." Yet she didn't let go of his arms.

"Grrrr. Just let me go. You made your point. Gaster got LOVE and he fucked up and now you're Head of The Royal Guard and he's dead! Though everybody can guess that and I don't get why it is a secret!"

"I'm not done."

"Then finish!"

She only hummed again in amusement. God was it annoying and no wonder Paps hated it at times. But maybe it was just his position on the floor beneath her that he hated. She finally released him and he picked himself up off of the ground, wiping off the dirt and straightening his scarf.

"What the fuck is wrong with you today? This morning you were so smug about something, what happened to that?"

"You're an asshole."

"Ha! You say that but I don't have an ass."

"Sans! I'm serious!"

"Nice to meetcha!" Alphys growled and Sans thought she might suplex him again but this time actually kill him. That he wasn't worth the trouble sometimes. But she sighed again and that soft expression returned. Almost sad even and Sans froze. She really, really was serious. Sans reached up and grabbed her arm in support. "Alphys what's eatin ya? You push me but this is different. What happened to Gaster?"

"That idiot tried to absorb a human Soul." Sans blinked and then the lights in his eyes went out.

"What the fuck? Everybody knows that's a bad idea."

"Bad idea is an understatement..." There was a moment of silence but then Sans snarled and shook his head.

"Fine, he was an idiot. I just won't do that. Promise."

'No, it's more than that Sans. He wasn't an idiot. He knew it would kill you, but he thought he had enough LOVE. The power went to his head and it consumed him. His own stats turned against him. You see... He absorbed the Soul, but human Souls are so powerful. He wasn't the one in control and on top of that, there is this thing that Undyne calls D-Determination in every human Soul. It began to melt him, Sans. It was nasty. Melting him and tearing him to pieces. But it's w-w-worse than that. If a n-normal monster a-absorbs a S-Soul. You die. You dust. And t-the Souls shatter. B-But him... W-With the LOVE."

"... Yeah?" Though Sans was starting to sweat and didn't want to know much more. He'd heard enough.

"He isn't d-dead Sans. Undyne h-has him... c-contained. I-In the labs..." The lights in Sans' eyes went out entirely.

"Oh... Shit." That was a lot to take in and she could see why she was so shook up. "But... I promise, Alphys. Not gonna end up like that." Alphys' expression hardened and she shoved him lightly.

"Better not." She ordered. "So cut this shit out in the bud, you hear me? I don't want to hear any more about you leaving your partners behind. And I don't want you getting in over your head with the LOVE."

"I mean, Alphys. No promises on that last one. It is literally our job to kill humans."

"Protecting monsters is our job. It is not always the same thing. And the amount of EXP and LV you gain depends a lot on your intent, which is something you can control. But that's a discussion for another time. Right now, there is one thing I need to know you understand fully." Her yellow eyes were unflinching and once again serious as she stared directly into his sockets. "A Human Soul is not a play thing. It is not something to underestimate. Got it? Never let your guard down. Even when you assume you have full control over something. Never doubt a human." Sans raised a brow. With his apparent conduct issue he had not thought that this was the thing she would be so focused on. He wasn't an idiot and the LV issue was too far away of a problem to be a real threat.

"Sue, Alphys. Promise. I'll be smarter about it."

"Good." The same smug smile she had given him all morning returned and Sans was relieved. But still hated the feeling that she knew something he didn't. "And if you ever have any questions about humans, I'll be _more_ than happy to help."

"... Is this about the comment I said last week about maybe wanting to get a human slave?" Sans asked in realization. "Cuz sorry to disappoint, I went looking, though, uh, don't tell Paps cuz I didn't tell him. But all the humans I looked at were... also disappointing." Alphys sighed but Sans couldn't tell if it was genuine.

"Well then I guess there's nothing more to worry about is there?"

No, the sigh was a lie. There was something he really, really didn't know.

But he did know, when he got home to find Papyrus pulling out everything from the closet in the hallway.

"Um... Paps?"

"OH! Brother! You're home." Papyrus stood up and gave his brother an unconvincing pat on the back. "Just cleaning out the junk from the closet. We have way too much of it. Most of it yours."

"Psssh.. It's not junk, Paps. It's treasure."

"No. It's junk." Sans laughed. Yeah it was junk.

"But what are you planning on putting in there?"

"Pillows."

"Pillows?"

"Yes. Just pillows. Nothing else at all. Well. Maybe a blanket."

But the ideas were already connecting and a wicked smile on his face and Papyrus was smiling just the same, both knowing what the other knew.

Leave it to his brother to get thorough. He bet he'd found something perfect for him too.

"Good job, bro. Thanks... We needed more space for our pillows. You're the best." He punched Papyrus' arm.

"Was there any doubt?"


	5. The Transfer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby has one last round of fun...  
> And the author says good riddance to the speech pattern foolishly chosen for him.  
> "Good riddance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will we ever get back to the stuff I actually planned on writing for this instead of set up and weirdly written character interactions?? Who knows.

Papyrus returned early in the morning, excited, even allowing himself to smile wide as he entered the building. He was excited and anxious but he kept his pace even to not show it. Even if he were to go faster it wouldn't move the process along any sooner. Even when he got the girl to the house they would still have to wait for Sans to get off and come home. Papyrus could handle the wait though, it was Sans at his job that would have the problem.

Nobody had said anything, but Papyrus could tell that his brother knew what was going on. Somehow though, that did not take away from the excitement. It only enhanced it with anticipation.

Papyrus stood expectantly at the first desk by the entrance for the fire monster to appear, and more importantly, the girl.

Grillby arrived first, in a similar suit and tie as the day before but something even more vibrant danced in his flames. It seemed that he was filled with just as much anticipation as either of the brothers as he stood in front of the desk with Papyrus.

"She is being... brought." Grillby informed him. "She is not making it.... easy."

But the thought seemed to be making both men smile more...

"Her stubbornness..." Grillby began.. "Never something I... admired. But I am glad that it... is good for something. That we could come to this... agreement."

Papyrus no longer had to guess he was anticipating this as much as Papyrus, he knew it. The fire monster was glowing with animosity and yet also near glee. Papyrus pulled out the check from his jacket.

"300 G, just like we agreed. Enough to cover the transfer over to domestic." Grillby took the check but repeated the same thing he said yesterday.

"It is I... who should be paying you."

"I'll hear nothing of it." Papyrus demanded.

"Of course..."

If he was getting Sans a gift, he would be getting it fair and with his own money. Where was the pride in getting something free? He'd already had his hand basically held trying to find her between Alphys and Grillby. He'd at least have this one thing to be truly proud of.

Grillby had put the check in his vest but pulling his hand back out he revealed a collar.

"You will have to replace her... collar." Grillby stated.

"I have a collar." Papyrus told him but Grillby shook his head.

"No...... She has LV. You need a special kind. If you ever need... another.... Visit the labs." Papyrus took the collar with an internal grumble but refused to show it externally. But of course he should have known better. "It is already programmed with the information... you provided. Once put on... the chip in her wrist will register your.... ownership. Completing the transfer."

The chip. The chip buried deep inside her left wrist. Ensuring that she could never truly be free.

"Good." Papyrus said putting it in his jacket.

"Also.... Another thing."

"Yes?" Papyrus asked looking back up.

"With her LV... Her status will be red." Papyrus didn't understand.

"And red means?"

"She cannot be... resold. If you need to be rid of her... there will be... certain measures.. needed." Papyrus paused. But....

"That won't be a problem." Papyrus could see Grillby's smile widen impossibly. It had been exactly what he wanted to hear.

They couldn't resell her. They would have to kill her. Or Papyrus supposed... there was always Undyne.

It just would not be problem and if it was that was a problem for later. And all of it up to Sans anyways.

There was a loud, short buzzer from the main part of the prison and the two men turned their attention to the opening doors. Immediately, Papyrus heard what sounded like a growl but it was not from the two dog monsters holding onto either side of the girl, it was the girl herself. She looked almost feral in their grasp. Immediately the collar still around her neck sparked and she screamed out in pain before loosing her footing and nearly falling to her knees except for the two dogs supporting her.

Papyrus approached the girl who was slowly regaining her bearings from the intense shock. She blinked a few times and when the red eyes found Papyrus she snarled again, the hatred in her eyes even more intense than the shock- The collar was shocking her again.

Papyrus eyed the fire monster behind him.

"Had to.." Grillby said. "One last time....."

"Of course." Papyrus agreed in understanding. The shock let up and the girl leaned forward, panting and getting herself back together. Papyrus only smirked again as he motioned the dogs to let dog and immediately before she could fall to her knees he grabbed her forearm and yanked her upwards to a direct standing position. He dragged her closer to the fire elemental.

"I suppose this is the end.... C5." Grillby noted. The girl spat at his face and Papyrus could see the flames flare, but not so much in anger as delight. The collar sparked just one more time. The girl’s knees gave out and Papyrus pulled upwards as it continued.

"Enough." Papyrus said, a bit more harshly than he intended. The shock stopped.

"My apologies... I did not think it should have gone... unpunished... Do you?"

"No." Papyrus said but he took the collar out of his jacket. "It is just, I think it is best if I change the collar now when there is less risk. I can’t do that when you’re shocking her."

"Perhaps... but I did not think a Royal Guardsman... would need the... support."

"I don’t but if a risk can be avoided it is our duty to avoid it." He said calmly. Even if, if he was honest, part of his reasoning was also that the elemental's shocking of Sans' gift was starting to get annoying.

"Very well...." The man reached forward and for once she did not move to resist. The collar came off with a snap and immediately Papyrus braced himself. The intent the collar had been blocking filled the room and the red eyes blazed as she kept them on Grillby. Grillby stepped back, gripping the collar tightly in his hands, singeing it. "Congratulations, C5...."

The intent was hot and terrible and Papyrus reached down quickly to put on the new collar. But as expected, it wasn’t so simple. She turned her face towards him, the static of a Fight in the air. Papyrus readied himself for a Fight as she turned her attention to him and the collar. As she turned her fire and ATK towards him.

She lifted her legs entirely, and Papyrus tightened his hold on her. Refusing to fall over from the dispoportionate weight and give her what she wanted. But in doing so... He had given her exactly what she wanted...

In one moment the girl had turned her attention back towards Grillby and the fire elemental's face fell in surprise at the last moment as both of her feet slammed in hard against his chest before he could put up his defense.

All of them had fallen for it, her ruse of Fighting the collar. Even Grillby.

But he should have known better....

The dogs barked loudly from the door as Grillby fell backwards, and toppled over the desk backwards. Papyrus quickly pinned the girl down to the ground as she laughed, her ribs feeling as if they would crack and tears in her eyes as she couldn’t stop. The two dogs ran around the desk where Grillby was standing up, a strain of curses flickering indistinguishably from his flames. His intent was clear as well: murder. But Papyrus positioned himself over the laughing girl, fumbling with the collar and doing his best to put it around her neck. But the laughter was only growing.

He slapped her hard against the face. The laughter cut off with the pain, but only for a moment as she worked her way through it. The collar was slipping on and clicking into place, but her laughter still lingered in her chest. And although he could no longer feel the intent; fading as the collar activated. The red eyes turned back towards him and through the laughter vibrating in her chest, he could still see the intent and feel the echo in his Soul.

He suddenly had second thoughts on bringing this thing into their house.....

He sent a shock through the collar. To test it. But also... to get the red eyes to close.

It worked both ways.

Grillby was straightening his bow tie as Papyrus pulled the girl back up onto her feet and she hissed in pain from the handling. But her expression was still smug as she and Grillby stared each other down.

"A **pleasure**... doing **business**." Papyrus nodded. "Our friend was... correct in directing you... here."

"Yes. She has a very good nose for these things. Almost as good as Undyne."

"Hmm.. Nobody is as good as... the doctor."

"She’s a fucking deranged, witch." Papyrus’ head lifted in surprise and after a second, he let go of the girl’s arm. The sound of him back handing her against the face filled the room and the force sent her toppling to the ground again.

"You will **not** discuss my **best friend** that way. Ever."

The girl looked up, the horror in her eyes apparent and she could not hope to hide it. Grillby's flames flickered in surprise but Papyrus could feel the other's delight at the situation and even the small chuckle he had under his breath.

Papyrus dragged the girl back up, this time by the hair and she yelped in pain as she staggered to move quickly and keep up with him (and the pull of her hair to hurt less). Grillby smiled one last time for her as Papyrus began to dig into jacket, searching for the spare scarf of Sans’ he had brought.

"Be a good girl... C5." Grillby said. "Keep it up. And remember.... Stay determined." Papyrus slipped the scarf around her eyes and blindfolded her even as she tried to lean away. "At least... for as long as you can."

And with that Papyrus led her out of the prison and into the sunlight... all the while that she still couldn’t see it.


	6. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride home.... A few encounters...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we get to the smut yet instead of being cryptic and weird conversations that may not pay off if we never get to future chapters and plot points?????  
> Soon.
> 
> LATER NOTE: I edited this chapter because I didn't like the tone it set up when I tried to go write the next one.  
> Also I think I finally figured out Papyrus...

Papyrus drove steadily along the road, the girl beside him in the passenger seat, the seat belt secured tightly even as her arms stayed tied behind her back and the blindfold secure.

Usually by this point Papyrus would have begun to relax and sit back as the music played. Maybe rolled down the windows and let the wind through his hair. But quickly it became apparent that he couldn't do that with her. All he can do is keep watching her in the corner of his vision.

A few times she had leaned in towards the window touching the warm glass but would quickly sit up again, almost self consciously.

Papyrus still hadn't decided what she was doing. Or at least trying to.

Either trying to feel her surroundings, find a way to see through the blindfold, or maybe... something else. Either way, he could see that she didn't want him to see she was trying to do it. And eventually she stopped. Sitting tall and facing ahead with a hardened expression. Or at least, her lips and face were hardened. The eyes he could only guess and imagine; glaring through him and not flinching one bit.

But for all the silent and strong act she was trying to pull, her chest was moving up and down quicker than it should have, revealing the fear she was so desperately trying to hide. But without the intent there to mask it, it was easier to feel... But all he had to do was remember the intent and it no longer concerned Papyrus. If it was the opposite situation, monsters who had lost, she wouldn't have cared either. That was something Undyne had right about humans. If it had been the other way around it would have been much worse. Especially if someone as small as her could have that much intent. She definitely deserved this and more. Especially after what she had called Undyne..

Papyrus knew that after the Undyne comment and his declaration of best friendship, her heart had increased considerably. The realization on her face of just what type of monsters were purchasing her. The seriousness had hit her before, but this new information had changed something. Papyrus felt that thing he did in training sometimes. When an opponent suddenly changed tactics because you had revealed something new about your own tactics. That sense of adaptation to a situation.

Sans would love that and Papyrus himself found it interesting. Sans was all about the fight and dominating his opponents. Papyrus was about the struggle and the mental puzzle it could provide.

But Papyrus knew that the inclusion of Undyne into this situation had pulled some footing out from beneath the girl.

Papyrus wasn't ignorant by any means. He knew Undyne's reputation. And maybe she even deserved SOME of it. But he still couldn't let anyone talk about her that way! What friend would he be? And the girl had even less right to criticize. Not in her position or with her own LOVE. Besides, Undyne was doing her job. A good job. It was one of the things he admired most about her. She was never afraid to do what she needed... Not like Papyrus sometimes.

Papyrus reached over a hand towards the girl's knee. She stiffened again as he touched her, keeping his eyes on the road as he began to pet her almost comfortingly.

"I can see the complex feelings working through you, human. The rage at having no control. The murderous intent and hunger for LOVE. I can hardly imagine what it must be like to feel that way. You're life has taken you down a dangerous path, and just know, human, that those very feelings, that is how you appear here now... And we're hungry too.. Hungry for justice." Papyrus shifted his hand down between her thighs and began to stroke gently between her legs as he continued in a whisper. "It is impossible for you to escape this."

The girl snarled again this time and growled as she tried to lean forward towards where she thought his arm would be. To shove him off. She kicked her legs upwards. Papyrus pulled his hand away and used it to push her face back, hitting her head hard against the window of the car door. She hissed and Papyrus laughed softly to himself as he grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her back properly into her seat. Though the seatbelt was twisted now and even more uncomfortable than before.

"Nyeh... This is exactly what I mean, human. You are persistent and yet too weak. Yet even so, you are meeting all of Sans' standards. Someone like you is really rare. Even if you could still do a little bit better I think." Papyrus touched the top of her head, his fingers playing with her hair. "But worry not, Human... My b.... boss and I will gladly help you...."

He released her hair and turned his attention back towards driving.

"Don't be so scared...." He said.

"... I already told you.." Papyrus glanced her way in surprise. "I'm not scared of you."

"Hmm.... But you're definitely scared of something." And then he smiled. "And whatever it is, my boss will figure it out." She shifted in her seat, turning her face towards him uncertainly. "And trust me... you will be scared of him."

"Just because you're scared of him, don't put that on me." She snapped. Her lips pressed together, thinking..

Papyrus was chuckling to himself. Papyrus? Him? Scared of Sans his own brother? As if... His brother was the thing he loved most in this world and his brother loved him. This world was cruel and rough and sometimes it seemed out to get you at every moment, but as long as you had a handful of people on your side you could get through anything.

"We'll see." Was all Papyrus told her though. He didn't expect her to understand something like love.

Several minutes later driving in silence Papyrus pulled into his street and then into the driveway.

"And here we are." Papyrus said, putting the car into park and taking out the key. He turned to his unwilling companion beside him. "What do you think of the view?"

Of course she didn't answer but Papyrus knew that her eyes would have been glaring through him again through the blindfold. Papyrus' smile widened at the image. Papyrus opened the car door, and the human girl couldn't hide the jump she gave at the unexpected sound. Papyrus came around to her own door and opened it before leaning up against the top of it and bent down towards her.

"Up we go." He grabbed her forearm forcefully and the girl snarled before kicking her foot against the glove compartment. Papyrus tsked lightly. He pulled up hard at the crook of her elbow and the girl gasped as she lost her footing and toppled over into the cup holders. Papyrus bent into the car over her, grabbed her leg as it tried to rise and push him back out. "Now, now.." He chastised. He yanked her forward and she gasped as she had her legs half outside of the car, her shirt beginning to ride up as he continued to pull. He released her legs and grabbed her again by the arms and pulled her up out of the car.

She stood blind in the driveway with Papyrus' hands on her shoulders. He pulled her forward and shut the car door.

"Papyrus!!" A young boy's voice cried. "Papyrus!" The human girl's breathing pitched up as her face twisted away from the voice, but Papyrus' grip on her tightened and he held her closer to him. "Woooooaah! Yo, yo is that a human?! Sis! Sis come look!"

Papyrus watched the little monster kid from across the street come rushing, tripping only once onto his face before sprining back up and making it over to the car. He kept a few feet away but his eyes were wide and excited.

"Good morning my monster child friend!" Papyrus greeted.

"Mr. Papyrus!" A girl's voice cried. The monster kid's sister came rushing even quicker across the street, her glasses bouncing against her nose. The sight made Papyrus smile genuinely. Papyrus knew she didn't actually need the lenses, she had adopted them to look more like her idol, Undyne. And Papyrus was in on the secret that Undyne had only adopted the lenses to look more her part of the scientist.

The teenaged monster girl gasped loudly at the sight of the human.

"A human! Really?!"

"Did you catch it?" Monster Kid asked. "Sans?"

"Is it for Dr. Undyne?" Sis asked excitedly. "Is Dr. Undyne coming to visit you today?"

"Hey, yo! Can we touch it?"

"Oh! Can we see its Soul?!"

"Is the fur on its head soft?"

"It's called hair when its on a human, idiot."

"Hey!"

Papyrus watched the young teen and her kid brother bickering and asking questions at rapid fire pace even as they didn't even give him time to answer. To his surprise and luck the human was rigid and silent beside him instead of fighting or aggressive like he would have expected. But just in case.

"I'm sorry my dear, future doctor and royal guardsman." He said with a slight dramatic bow, even with one arm wrapped tightly around the human's shoulders. "But I must get the human inside. It isn't safe for it to be near you."

"Yo? Why not? It has a collar." Monster Kid pouted.

"Exactly." Sis stated knowingly, lifting her head higher. "The collars counteract the Attack and any intent  a human coul have to hurt anyone. We're perfectly safe. And besides! Its with you!"

"Yeah! You'd protect us!"

"And we never get to see humans like you and Dr. Undyne! Pleeease!"

"Nyeh heh heh, I am sorry. For you are right, I could protect you from the human but for sure your mother would kill me."

A true person to be feared if one was to be afraid.

And this seemed to be agreed to by the two kids who took steps back and let their heads fall.

"But she can't keep me from them forever!" Sis said as Papyrus began to lead the human away towards the door. "One day I'll go work with Undyne! And I'll be able to help and know everything there is to know about humans!" Papyrus chuckled. "I'm in secondary school already. She'll have to."

"But hey!" Her brother called. "Will we get to see the human later? Is it your new slave?" Papyrus stopped by the door and looked down at the grimacing human.

"We will have to see. If you can keep it a secret, perhaps."

"Yes!"

"Yeeeeees!!!"

"But no promises." Papyrus cut in. "The human will probably only be with us a few weeks...." He guessed. "If that."

Papyrus could hear the human struggling to breathe, but then she swallowed, gathering her determination... Even if she still kept her face turned away from the two young monsters.

"See the two of you later." Papyrus said, opening the door.

"Wait! Was Dr. Undyne coming??" Sis called after him. Papyrus couldn't help by laugh softly and shake his head.

"Sorry, Young Sister. Not today."

There was a disappointed chorus of Aws but Papyrus closed the door, safely securing the human from more prying eyes. He shoved her out in front of him into the hall and she stood, catching her breath as he locked the door.

"Amazing are they not? The children? They are the future, you know?" Papyrus turned back to her, she was standing completely still, waiting anxiously for him to grab her again.... "Well I suppose you wouldn't."

Perhaps it was harder to imagine any future when you just learned you probably only had a few days or weeks to live.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I never liked the whole Monster Kid being adopted by the Royal Family thing and Asriel in Snowdin. So in this Monster Kid's sister adores Undyne.... And not Alphys either.... Idk.


	7. The Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus prepares Sans' dinner..................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the author agrees that the last few chapters should have been all together in one burrito but if we did that we would also get nothing done.  
> And speaking of LAST CHAPTER, if you read it within the first few hours you got a scene that I went back and deleted at the very END because this is what I did. I went to work. thought about it all night and then came home and took it out because the moment I tried to think about the next chapter I realized I hated the tone it created. It also was not the type of interaction I wanted for Papyrus and Chara.  
> And that was also the moment I realized I had real wants when it came to this and it was no longer just to get it out of my head.  
> I don't know how long this is going to be now but at the same time I am going to let it do whatever it wants. Even if that is what seems to be maybe very uneventful set up chapters like these 7. you do you story. you do you. As long as we get to specific scenes I need out of my head eventually. Or at the very least something gets satisfied. Again I have got not a clue.

It was all about the fight.....

For Sans at least.

For Papyrus it was all about the approval.

And as it was, there was much to do before Sans got home in a few hours. And most importantly in that was preparing the girl. But even before Papyrus started, he knew the fight it would be. But to be fair that had been what he had signed up for. He had to just keep reminding himself that it would be worth it in the end. Even if an annoyance as it went on.

But that was all it was of course. And annoyance.

Papyrus had immediately grabbed her by the arm, just like she had been anticipating and her weight had gone dead, forcing him to drag her the entire way as she refused to pick up her feet, losing both of her pseudo shoes along the way but no matter.

But Papyrus moved her with ease. Even like this she seemed to weigh nothing at all and any resistance really was laughable at this point. The girl barely came up halfway his chest, Sans was probably a skull taller than her even. Maybe a skull and a half. And her tallied up disadvantage did not even include the collar or even count the brothers' magical abilities.

He all but threw her through the bathroom door and she stumbled, barely catching herself from falling onto her face as she gasped. Papyrus took no time, turning on the water and letting the shower run. The girl stood tense and on edge, waiting for the skeleton to grab her again. Instead, he asked her a question.

"If I take off your binds, do you agree to cooperate." Her expression turned hard with a scowl.

"No." She said sternly.

Just as he thought. They would have to do this the hard way. He could not let her be without the wash down.

She smelled of chemicals and sweat and although he couldn't know about her night on the floor, he suspected that this was the same set of scrub-like shirt and pants she had worn the day before... In fact he had almost been certain of it the moment he had seen her that morning....

He could see where he had wiped off his hands at the bottom of her shirt.

He had pretended not to notice before, but he was glad to have Grillby's unwanted influence behind him. But it had indeed annoyed him to watch Sans' gift constantly mishandled before Sans even had his chance. Besides, the constant use of the collar as a punishment had had no class. The collar was lazy...

And although it was just as lazy, Papyrus would not risk her getting hurt in manhandling her in something like this. Papyrus took a step back and pointed a finger towards her chest. The girl grit her teeth as her Soul was summoned from her chest.

And went blue.

The girl gasped again as she fell to her knees, unprepared for the extra weight.

"Oof."

Papyrus could see the panic in her expression, in the parting of her lips. The blue was unexpected to her, perhaps even new. But he could see even with the blindfold still over her eyes that she was coming to very correct realizations about all that he could do to her, just because he wanted to, sinking in.

Still she struggled though, trying to stand back up. That was one thing Green had over Blue he supposed; the immovability. But it still had a certain lack of dominance and control.

Both types of magic were a certain degree of lazy, but... It would have to do.

He moved in closer, summoning a pointed bone. The girl leaned back but could not escape as he grabbed the collar of her shirt. Quickly with no hesitation, he tore it in two down the front with ease, exposing her. The girl's breathing was erratic and she refused to stay still for a second and he had to grip her by the hair to keep her still so he wouldn't also cut her.

He suspected that forced showers was nothing she wasn't used to but he suspected that with the new, promised looming threat she couldn't help but be unable to hide her fear. And Papyrus ripped the shirt to pieces, removing it entirely while still keeping her arms tied and her eyes blind. He lifted her up with the blue and she hissed as she was set down on her tip toes.

He thought a moment, looking her over in the new and warmer lighting of the bathroom. He was finally noticing how pale she was but how rosy her cheeks glowed. Her auburn hair was cut short in some sort of messy... well.. Papyrus didn't know much about hair.

Papyrus went back to work quickly, cutting the pants at the waste and tearing them down one of the legs. The girl had her thighs pressed as tightly as she could but Papyrus was having none of it. He pulled rough and the fabric fell away leaving her with nothing. Nothing but the binds around her wrist and the collar around her neck. He didn't waste time with her though, no need when her eyes were covered. It would be the same with her just imagining his gaze. He turned his attention to the water. He took off his gloves and his fingers in to find it warming up nicely.

"Alright." He said more to himself than her as he also began to remove his jacket and set it aside. The girl was leaning back as she sensed his approach again, but Papyrus reached back behind her head and pulled the blindfold up over her head. She blinked rapidly, letting her eyes readjust. But he gave her no time as he lifted her Soul and brought her near the water.

He saw the near panic in her expression as she tried to lean back in the air away from the steaming water. Her eyes closed and she held her breath as she hiked her shoulders up protectively around her neck. The water washed over her face and Papyrus saw the tension in her muscles relax instantly. As he put her down on her feet, the red eyes opened, blinking through the water as she looked down, the steam swirling around her breath. There was clearly surprise in her expression. Papyrus frowned at it but he spent no time allow himself to wondering. He had his mission and he would complete it.

He lifted a hand and grabbed her hair forcefully. The girl tensed and scrunched up her eyes as he lifted her head back, letting the water run down her face. He released her and reached for the shampoo.

He did not know much about hair, that was true, but he always had spare bottles for Undyne and he silently thanked that fact because he would not have thought about it yesterday. He wasn't sure what the substance was supposed to do but he knew from more experiences with pulling Undyne away from the lab after several days of sleepless and showerless nights that it did indeed make the difference.

But still, he wasn't sure how much he was supposed to use. The more the better he supposed. He poured a large amount into the human's hair and began to aggressively lather like the bottle said. The human tried bending forward away from him, but his boney fingers gripped tightly and she was forced to stay in place as he worked the bubbles over her head. Perhaps too many bubbles. Perhaps more the better was not a correct assumption after all. He took some of the bubbles and began to run them down her back and then over her chest. She tensed again as his fingers worked over her but he saw her eyes open, not willing to be blind as it happened.

Silently he tucked away that information.

She refused to move a he brought his hands lower to her abdomen and then.. lower. A small sound escaped the back of her throat as she tried to lean towards the wall. He held the back of her neck painfully, forcing her to stay completely still as he continued. Doing his best to clean every inch of her, even forcing his hands beneath her arms and down to her bound wrists..... he would deal with that at the end. He grabbed for a new sponge from beneath the sink and began to work his way back over her body. Dirt and grim were collecting in the water at her feet and he wondered when the last time she had been properly clean actually was.

Someway through the experience, the girl had stopped outright protesting him, almost half eager to be clean for once as well. Though Papyrus pretended not to n.... Well, he supposed he should notice this. But he also knew that if he did she would make the task more difficult again. And he would rather not for now.

He reached for her face. She only scrunched up her face more as he worked at her cheeks. Making the rosy color rosier. He did his best to work with the collar but refused to remove it. Not wanting to spur a more annoying Fight.

The bubbles in her hair were disappearing and he went for the conditioner. This time putting in less. At the end, he still wasn't at all sure he had done it right but at least it had been done. He took the shower head off of the wall and brought it in close, blasting her skin and hair one last time. She took in large breathing gulps when she could as he all but attacked her face with it. He could feel that the water was beginning to cool and he put the shower head back up. He reformed a pointed bone and the girl watched him with a half defensive aura even as she caught her breath. He cut the binds, letting the wet rope fall into the water collected around her feet.

The girl breathed out in relief but before she could bring her wrists forward to rub them, Papyrus grabbed them and brought them up in front of her himself. He held them in the water, running his fingers over the indented skin as green healing magic raced across it. There was obvious dirt underneath her uneven nails...... He would have to do something about that. He turned off the water of the shower and then grabbed her fingers forcefully with a squeeze.

"Act out, and you will regret it dearly." He threatened.

The girl glared but did not move as Papyrus formed a thin bone, as thin as he could. Using the pointed tip, he dug beneath her fingernails one by one. Once done, the bone disappeared and Papyrus stood up from his position; having had one knee resting against the side of the tub the whole time as he had worked her over. He pulled the towel off of the wall and threw it at her.

"Dry yourself or I will do it for you." She wrapped the towel around her head, kneading gently against her hair as she reluctantly obeyed.

She probably needed a haircut, Papyrus thought as he looked her over. She wrapped the towel around herself at the first opportunity and Papyrus smiled. Her chest was still moving too quickly and she seemed torn between looking away from him in shame or standing tall and staring him down.

"Good girl." Papyrus said, regrettably borrowing from the flame elemental's repertoire. But it was one he knew that would gain affect.

He saw her face turning redder than from the scrubbing, her mind also going back to the day before when Grillby had said it: As Papyrus had held her.

But she did not turn her eyes away or willingly admitted her rising discomfort of having him stare her over even with the towel now covering her.

"You don't look so horrible now with all of that grim on you. Almost bearable. Though my bro... boss.. will have a wonderful time undoing all of my hard work, I am sure."

She spat at him and Papyrus' smile widened as he wiped aimlessly at his shirt as if he was simply amused.

"But for now." Her still blue Soul lifted and she gasped as she lost her footing. Papyrus wasted no time opening the door and making his way out into the hall with her floating behind him. She barely had any time to regain her bearings when he arrived at the closet door that lay a meter or so down the hall that led to Sans' bedroom. He opened it and without any serious attention, tossed her carelessly in. Her head lifted quickly, the red eyes blazing back to life as she bared her teeth.

Papyrus simply shut the door on her, leaving her in darkness and applied the lock he had put on the day before.

Now was the time to prepare everything else and start supper. Ms. Muffet had given him a very simple recipe and if Papyrus followed it without risking the temptation to stray, perhaps he could get it right today. That would be yet another victory for his productive day off!

It was an hour later that he put the tray into the oven: cook until brown the recipe ordered. About 45 minutes.

As long as he didn't mess this up now... He double, triple checked that the timer was set and that it was minutes and not hours (both unfortunate mistakes of the past that he was doing his best not to repeat).

He heard yet another loud thud from the hallway, the closet, and sighed. She had still not given up at it...

Wonderful.

Perhaps she had tired herself out some and he could finish getting her ready before Sans got home in an hour.

An hour!

The excitement was building up inside of him again as he let himself finally dwell on the thought. He had an hour and his brother would be home and Papyrus could finally give him the gift! Papyrus nearly ran to the closet but once there he forced himself to slow and contain himself. He unlocked the door and waited a moment. Knowing she would pounce the moment he did so. He took a step back as he opened the door wide. The girl flew through the doorway, preparing to slam into him, but instead her hands slammed down into the wall. Papyrus grabbed the towel she still had wrapped around herself and yanked it free before she could grab and save it. And then, he grabbed her.

"Now, now human. How foolish of you to act when you know nothing will come of it." He said it and it was true but that was also once again why it made her perfect. Papyrus left the towel on the floor as he dragged the girl once again. Her free hand dragged across the wall of the hall, searching for something to grab hold of but she could do nothing as he dragged her back closer toward the kitchen, but instead turned and brought her into yet another room.

"No-" Escaped her lips the moment she saw Papyrus' bed, but she quickly bit it down. Her free hand grabbed at the hand Papyrus had around her arm and she tried to bite at him. Papyrus sighed and threw her down onto the floor and turned her Soul blue and pinned her to the ground.

"Now then!" Papyrus turned his attention to his own closet and began to dig through the clothes he had gotten on his way home from his encounter with the human the day before. "Let us hope these fit."

Though he suspected they would not last long once Sans had got a hold of her. He was going to eat her whole.

The food in the oven was just a little something extra after all, Papyrus supposed.

 


	8. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some good fucking food....

Chara couldn't move.

The skeleton had forcefully dressed her in shorts that had been too big for her and a solid green tank top that seemed too big especially since she wore nothing beneath either of them.

"You won't be wearing them long enough to need them," He had said seeing her unintentionally questioning gaze. The fear had spiked and she had bit down the question of why he had even begun to bother dressing her. She didn't want the answer even if in the back of her mind she suspected it. He dressed her so somebody could have the fun of ripping it off of her

... Like one unwrapped a gift....

The analogy had heightened as he had pulled out a roll of long, red but a bit faded ribbon from a drawer. She had leaned away from him, kicked her legs and tried to punch him as hard as she could. But he had ripped a piece of ribbon off with ease and had turned her over onto her stomach. She could have cried as her hands were tied once again behind her back but instead she kicked and growled loudly instead with rage. The moment she started to curse though, a strange ball was shoved into her unsuspecting mouth. She had choked on her words, trying to spit it out, but the red ball she found was attached to some sort of what she would call a collar. Except around her head.

"Much better with the gag at the start." The skeleton had mused. She had tried her best to scream through it, only starting to choke on her own saliva as he began to tie her bare feet together at the ankles. She curled in on herself against the floor. Doing her best to keep her face and torso away from his grasp, but with one forceful pull of her legs, she was forced to lay flat again on her stomach and when she tried to roll, he shoved a hand against her back. "Hmm."

A knee replaced his hand on her back and she tried to gasp as she went blind as he re-blindfolded her but this time with ribbon.

A gift. A gift with ribbons and she felt him curling the ends into a tight bow.

And then he was grabbing her by the shoulders and flipping her over even as she flailed like a worm in his hands, still trying to scream out in protest, and he held her bridal style.

No. No, no, no. She refused! But she could do nothing but push her head hard against his chest.

"Shhhh." The skeleton's voice mock soothed. "Quit moving. Save your strength." She bit harder against the gap, the frustration twisting through her. "You cannot escape this." He repeated.

No... She couldn't. She couldn't escape this. Not like this. She had to keep focusing on the long game. Escaping came far ahead of her. But even still...

He was setting her down on a mattress, immediately Chara tried to roll away from his touch but he slammed her back down firmly in place.

"I would not do that if I were you if you want to be spared a nasty fall." She stiffened as he grabbed at her legs and to her surprise, she felt more ribbon being wrapped around her. Twisting up her body, making it even more impossible to move. And more importantly, impossible for her to lift her legs to her hands behind her back and work to untie them.

She was wrapped...

A finger trailed along her cheek, wiping away any drool that had escape. Moments later the gag was removed and Chara spat.

"That seems to be your special attack, isn't it?" He asked and she heard the russling of fabric- What was he doing-? Something was wiping at her mouth, drying her lips. "Now. Back on we go. Try not to be so messy before, uh, boss gets here."

His fingers pressed against her cheeks, demanding her mouth to reopen. It hurt the harder he pressed at the hinges of her jaw. She jerked her head away successfully but only for a moment.

"I'm going to kill you." She promised, heat building in her voice but it was cut off by the gag being shoved back into her mouth and secured.

"Not with spit you won't." The skeleton admonished. Chara bit down hard against the ball in her mouth.

This was happening. This was really happening. There was not escaping it... And she was blind and bound and everything was unknown except, this was happening. This was really happening.

* * *

 

Sans pulled into the driveway and waited impatiently for the garage door to open. The moment it was he revved the motorcycle into its place beside his worktable. He did his best to not just close the garage door and run inside. Calmly. Calmly he turned off the engine and calmly he dismounted as the garage door began to close again.

At the last minute he remembered the box Alphys had given him with a wink.... Something to help him later, she had said. And now knowing what it was he was certain that it definitely could. But leave it up to her to have something like that.

"Don't be too exhausted tomorrow," She had also warned. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Yeah, right. He had seen the types of anime she's seen, the old illegal human ones she keeps in the back of her closet too. There isn't much she probably wouldn't do at this point. Or hadn't done considering he knew about her and Undyne's own escapades. The ones Undyne called Alphys' experiments. Sometimes with their own human... pets.

Well it was time for Sans to have his own experiments for once. And maybe. Just maybe. He would share after he'd had a bit of fun. He was also curious about how that would be like... Sans could not deny the women's experience in this surpassing his yet again. It was frightful yet awing to think about sometimes.

And on top of it all, Sans was itching for something like this. Before his promotion he and Papyrus had sat basically on the side lines. Waiting for danger to come to them and it hardly ever happening. But now he was a captain like Alphys and he had the chance to go to where the danger was and not just wait. He'd finally gotten to his first few levels of LOVE. And even so... he wanted more. Even going to the danger when it arose did not ensure a fight if the danger never appeared.

He knew Alphys' answer to that would be that he should be thankful. And he was thankful that nobody was in danger. But he had to admit he had gotten a bit of Undyne's enthusiasm in him.

If they could just wipe out the humans entirely they could destroy the danger at its source.

But he also knew Alphys was right too, that he had been a bit rash lately. But this would do him good. He could get it out of his system and be more level headed at work, he argued to himself. He would be less tempted to go out for a Fight if he knew something was at home already waiting for him.

Though he was extremely curious as to what Papyrus had brought home. His brother knew what he would like, nobody knew Sans more than Papyrus and Papyrus would have been able to take one look at the same humans Sans had and know it just wouldn't work. So yeah, he was curious as to what his brother had gotten him. Something that would not just sit there and willingly take it, but to Fight.

Or at least..... want to, Sans chuckled internally as he entered the house.

Sans suddenly realized exactly what kind of human Papyrus had gotten........ An idiot.

Only an idiot would last as long as Sans would want it to last. Only an idiot would keep fighting even with it being so hopeless. And he knew exactly what type of idiot it would be, too. An idiot that knew better. And idiot that knew it was hopeless and yet still fought.

The magic was racing through Sans at an excited pace already as his gaze darted around the house.

"Welcome home, brother!" Papyrus called from the kitchen as Sans entered the living room.

"Sup, Paps? Your day off go well?" Sans heard his brother chuckle.

"Splendidly so far and it can only get better from here." Papyrus assured confidently. Sans stood in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning lazily against the wall as his brother kept his back towards him.

"Is that so?" He asked knowingly.

"For see!!" Papyrus turned around, holding out a glass cake pan out towards his brother. Sans' face dropped in surprise at the.... what looked to be a perfectly cooked lasagna. Sans' smile returned full force as Papyrus slid the pan onto the top of the oven and threw the oven mitts to the side.

"Holy Toriel, Paps!" Sans came rushing in and stood beside his brother, staring at the cheesy, saucy thing. And sure enough, closer it still looked like a perfectly and evenly cooked lasagna. Sans laughed and smacked his brother hard on the back. "You did it!!"

Papyrus was beaming non-existent ear to non-existent ear. And so was Sans.

"It smells delicious too! Give me a fork, quick!" Papyrus smacked his reaching hand.

"Now, now, I understand your enthusiasm, brother. Any dish by your favorite brother is cause for such a thing. But the instructions say to let it cool and therefore, unfortunately, we must let it cool."

"Pssh, are you serious?" Papyrus nodded.

"Very. It seems that following the instructions for what they were was the secret all along."

"Sounds like rules... kinda rule." Papyrus glared at his brother.

"And they let people like you protect our streets." Sans laughed.

"But really, cut me a piece. Science says that it should cool faster that way."

"Hmm. This seems reasonable. But why is that exactly?" Sans had grabbed a plate and held it out as Papyrus began to dig out a corner section for him.

"Surface area. The more surface the more heat escapes at a faster rate."

"Well that is a shame for the heat. My lasagna shall surely be delicious and it won't even be here to appreciate it."

"Its loss." Sans agreed.

"But it cooling down faster, I suppose this means we can get to your other.... 'surprise' faster." Papyrus stated, his smile genuinely wide again. Sans had almost forgotten his other 'surprise' in his excitement about Papyrus' achievement. Almost. It had at least given him the strength to wait.

The human could wait. They literally had _all night_.

Sans bent down and began to blow on the slice, wanting to dig in but also because he knew that Papyrus would shake his head (while still being pleased).

"You have no patience for anything, brother." Papyrus scorned. Sans smiled again.

"I've waited patiently for you to cook something edible for almost a fucking year, Paps. I think that counts as being patient."

"I suppose this is true." Sans cut a small bite off with his fork and held it up to blow. And then. He ate it.

Sans lowered the fork and stared seriously at his brother who stood expectantly. Anxiously.

"Papyrus...." His brother frowned.

"It's missing something isn't it? Some sort of spice!" Papyrus asked, a furious and frustrated tone rising up in his voice.

"Papyrus..."

"Or is it not cooked enough?"

"Paps...."

His brother stopped, left arm against the table, his hand fisted as the other grabbed at his knee. He glared at his brother. Sans' pointed teeth widened back into a jagged smile.

"You fucking did it."

"HA!" Papyrus stood up, pointing down that the slice of lasagna. "Take THAT you culinary craft! I have mastered you! From now on I shall be known as the Great Papyrus!"

"Woah, hey there!" Sans said sharply, even as he contained a laugh. "Don't be copying my thing."

"Well of course not. But you see..." He twisted his wrist as he explained, as if it was obvious. "I only wish to compliment yours. The Terrible Sans and Great Papyrus!" Sans was trying to bit down a laugh. He knew exactly what his brother was leading.

"That makes me sound like I'm bad at what I do! Not bad as in.. bad!"

"I do not see the problem." Papyrus stated.

"And it is Sans the Terror anyways!"

"But Sans The Terror and Papyrus The Great seems a bit harder to say."

They were all terrible. But that was not the point of this game. Neither was getting anyone to call him San the Terror to begin with. Dear god could you imagine if he actually tried that? No... It was a leftover game from childhood that lingered.

Sans took another bite of the lasagna and sat back with his feet on the table as he held the plate, much to the clear upset of his brother but also delight as he continued to eat.

"Come on, Paps. Eat up. You did really well." Papyrus sat down and hesitantly picked up his own fork. He looked down at it and Sans could see his lingering doubt that he actually did it. But he took a quick bite... and Sans watched as his brother's smile grew and the fork scrapped against his teeth as he pulled it out. His brother chewed and seemed half unable to stay in his seat as he wanted desperately to take another bite but couldn't with his mouth already full. Sans snickered. and took his own bite.

They plowed through the slices and with each bite Sans thought of how much it had taken for the two of them to get there....

"I'm proud of us." Sans said suddenly. Papyrus looked up from his final bite, swallowing with a question in his expression. "I am proud of us." Sans said again as Papyrus wiped his teeth with a napkin.

"Well, sure. I finally succeeded in making a layered pasta dish, but that is only so minor. And nothing that compares to what you have done recently. No. It is you who we should be proud of! You've done so well!"

"WE did so well, Paps. We! We fucking made it!" Papyrus hesitated.

"I do not understand."

"We **_made_** it." Sans stressed.

To this house on their own, to this _home_. To have a good home, real, close friends for both of them, (family Alphys had called the brothers, and that was something), and Sans to have his dream job and his goals stretchd out in front of him. Sure he would have preferred the road to be easier. A lot easier. But other than that.

They'd done it.

They'd won.

Sure a war was still raging despite the efforts to call it an insurgency or whatever: rebellion. But the brothers had made it to the highest place they could. But he could see that Papyrus did not look so sure.

"You did all this cuz my promotion, right? Well fuck that... I mean. Shit, I'm stoked about it too." So stoked. "But look at us. Think about where we've been, Paps. And it wasn't just me. I could have never gotten this without you. Even Alphys said so the other day, if you can't believe me! She said I only got the promotion in part cuz of how well we worked together. Together, Paps. Together! God fucking DAMN it!" Sans stood up, nearly toppling the chair. "We fucking DID it Paps! We'll never have to scavenger for anything or ask anyone for fucking shit! They'll ask US for it!"

They'll ask you, Papyrus wanted to comment but at the same time understood a bit of what his brother was trying to say. He did have a point.

"Nothing, hell or high war. Human attacks and conspiracies! Even other lowlife monsters! Nothing will take this from us. We **won**."

Papyrus was smiling again at the mention of humans.

"Yes. We did. But knowing you, my brother, you won't be satisfied until you fight the world will you?" Sans' smile twisted, turning half cruel as Papyrus stood up. "I think it's time for desert." But Sans picked up his plate.

"Not until I have another half slice of The Great Papyrus' lasagna."

Papyrus was left standing alone by the table looking down at the cheese and sauce stained plate before him, blinking back tears as the pride continued to try and eat him alive and the smile wouldn't go away.

A few minutes later, Sans finished off the last of his second slice of lasagna and slowly, wiped his face as Papyrus watched. As much as Sans was anxious to get to the next part, teasing his brother was something he couldn't pass up. And it was interesting to see that his brother was just as anxious to get to the next part just as much as he was, even if it was probably for very different reasons.

"So, what _is_ for desert?"

Papyrus was smiling again and standing up, giving his brother a dramatic bow as he indicated towards the hall.

"This way, m'lord." Haha, Sans loved it... He stood up and put a hand behind his back and touched his chin with the other.

"Now whatever could it be?" He asked flatly as Papyrus led him past the first bedroom, the bathroom, the closet even and straight to the end of the hall to his own room. Papyrus stood in front of his door and Sans couldn't help but hold his breath.

"Only the WORST for you. I am certain you will be most pleased, my good sir."

Sans let out the breath and laughed to himself. But he was even more excited now, perhaps even a little turned on at just the thought. He could feel the magic preparing to form a thin layer of ecto-flesh along his pelvis. But at the same time a building energy like he had before training or entering a fight was coiling through him. Something to break was on the other side of that door..

"And now to you, I present-" His brother was opening the door- "Chara."

* * *

 Chara couldn't _move_. And not just because of the binds. But the fear. The fear of falling off of the bed and the fear of what was coming. She didn't know how long she had waited until she had heard what had sounded like a garage door opening somewhere nearby through the walls. Or how long ago she had first heard raising voices, traces of anger and excitement and Chara refused to cry, refused to let the fear show as much as she could. But it was difficult.

Knowing you couldn't escape this. Knowing you were nothing but an object to be used and broken to everyone around you. Knowing everyone agreed that even worse, this is what you deserved. Even if she were to scream for help, nobody would come.

Except, somebody was coming, she could hear feet coming down the hall she knew she was at the end of. She tried her best to steady her breathing, but it was impossible. She was panicking.

Stop! Stop! Stop! Pull yourself back together!, she told herself. But she couldn't. She leaned back into the bed as far as she could. Trying her best at the ribbons again, but they were tight against her skin, confining, reminding her of how the skeleton Papyrus had held her tightly against him as Grillby looked on, touching her, fondling, playing, touching-

She heard a new voice, a soft laugh as Papyrus said something in a boisterous voice- The door was opening-

"And now to you, I present-" She heard the door opening, a creak through the entire room. She stopped moving, cursing her heaving chest for not obeying.

If only she could see. But perhaps that would have been worse. She still did not know.

She did not want to see what was going to happen, she didn't want it to happen. But it could not be avoided and she wanted to know what she was up against but she did not want it to happen-

"Chara."

It was as if he had stabbed her through the chest with something hot, hearing the true name stated so carelessly like that. As if she was a dish on a platter. Her name in his voice. The pain was hot in her chest as if he had ripped out her Soul. Of course he had known it, of course he would have seen it in the files. But he had never called her that until this moment.

She had spent so long under Grillby's fiery thumb- he never used her name. She knew it had been his attempt to strip her down but it had done the opposite. Her name had still been hers. But in an instant, the skeleton had given away her name to someone she had never even seen. Offered up like the gift she was. To do anything the unknown so-called Boss wanted to do with it. The same as her.

She heard the door close and she was even more trapped. Trapped in a room with apparently two grown men who were going to do anything they wanted to her. Anything at all as she could do nothing but take it and survive through it. And she would, she would survive, she would-

"Aaw, look at her, Paps. She's shaking." No, she wasn't-

Someone sat down on the bed, gripping at her legs and shifting her down farther along the bed, closer to him.. so she was easier to handle and manipulate. She tried to lift her legs, but his grip on the ribbon between her ankles was firm. Someone else sat on the end of the bed closer to her face and she froze.

"The ribbons are cute. Nice touch, Papyrus." The So-Called Boss praised. He was the one closest to her face, Papyrus at her ankles. "A little overboard though, don't you think?"

"We didn't get this far having it be easy." Papyrus stated. So-Called Boss laughed. "Besides, when one recieves a gift you must unwrap it."

So it had been intentional, Chara had known.

"True, true." So-Called Boss agreed. "But let's see what we have here."

He grabbed her face between his hands. Chara's heart was racing too quick and uncomfortable and she rolled her shoulders in an attempt to lift her head out of his gripping fingers but he only gripped tighter as she let out what she wanted to sound hostile but the gag sabotaged her efforts and it came out a whine. He tilted her head and she silently longed for him to rip the blindfold away first. Her only weapon without her voice was her eyes.

But then again both would betray her fear unwillingly...

His hands were hard and boney and she at least knew, suspected, that she was dealing with yet another skeleton.

_But how did that work, how did that work, she didn't want to know how that worked._

_Tongue against her cheek._

He did not remove the blindfold. He did not remove the gag. His fingers let go of her face and she felt them trail down against her chest, cutting ribbon as they went. The tightness against her breasts eased but that could not calm her, it only meant he had easier access to her skin. He had her upper body almost unwrapped from the ribbons and she heard Papyrus snicker as he seemed to struggle with part of it.

This couldn't be happening-

But she had thought that too, back when Papyrus had held her tightly, touching her and she had stared out at Grillby in disbelief-

A hand was slipping beneath the bottom of the tank top and Chara tried to kick out of Papyrus' grip on her ankles. Tried to twist side to side. But her hands were behind her back still and her own weight was levied against her. And his fingers against the scar on the left side of her stomach. He laughed, the sound unsettling even more because Chara could not see his face to guess just why he would. His take on the wound. But she did not have to wait long for an answer.

"She doesn't look like much until you start diggin' deeper, ain't she?" So-Called Boss said.

"I'm not so sure." Papyrus answered.

"What?"

"Keep unwrapping."

So-Called hummed and his fingers trailed up her stomach away from the webbing scar.

"Shit, she's soft. I knew they were squishy but like... damn-" He grabbed her left breast- "Her tits are like, it looks and feels like a water balloon. Feel this-"

"I had a decent demonstration yesterday." Papyrus said, she could hear his smile in his voice. "But you still haven't found the best part. Though.. When was the last time you even held a water balloon???"

"Haha! You missed out on that prank, didn't you?" Chara yelped as he suddenly grabbed the other side as well and played with both as he rolled his hands over them. It hurt, and while pain she could handle, the expression she could imagine burning in her mind made her want to escape- Something slimy was running up between them and Chara squealed as she tried to buck and stretch away. But all she succeeded in was causing him to chuckle, the vibrations of it pressed against her sternum as he squeezed her boobs and pinch her nipples between his boney fingers. "Barely touching her and she's squealing like a little bitch. Paps I thought you knew me better."

"I'm certain she'll last you at least a week, boss."

"Boss..." So-Called whispered to himself, seeming caught off guard. When he continued, the confusion was gone from his voice. "But a week, huh? Well I suppose it'll have to do. But I guess we should start slow cuz I don't know, Paps. I'm not sure she'll even last the night at this rate."

He was sitting on the bed casually as you do, kneading her breasts with his fingers, his tone flippant as Chara's body burned with shame and anger. Her mind stuck on his touching. His continued touching. The way he was going to keep at this and she knew her body was going to betray her and she did not know how she was suppose to fight that. She did not know how she was supposed to not break. If it was just pain- Only pain- If it was just the fact that he would touch her outwardly.

And the thought of an entire night. The thought of an entire week. And yet the thought of proving both of them right and not lasting. Her fear was like a spring in her chest, working its way to her throat. The fear of what was going to come and the doubt that she was going to be able to adapt to it in time to survive.

She didn't even know how she was supposed to fight it. If she was supposed to stay silent and immovable. Or was she supposed to kick and physically get away-

_And she couldn't, she couldn't get away. Escape this._

The only thing she knew for certain was that she would do everything she could not to cry....

"But I guess a night of breaking her could be as good as any. For a first time."

"Speaking of first time."

So-Called laughed loudly.

"Oh man! We have to take it slow then!" He was still laughing as he bent down closer to Chara's face. She could feel his breath on her skin.. it smelled of sausage... Her stomach twisted in pain, hungry after being neglected since her final breakfast at the prison of what had basically been dog food. No wonder her head felt so light headed and starting to ache. But over the hungry and the pain, was still the fear as he spoke directly into her face. "Well.. Not that slow."

He pulled away and the upper part of her body was relieved from his looming weight. But with that Chara's mind panicked, not knowing where he was anymore. Papyrus' hands disappeared from her ankles and her panic panicked even more. Hands seized the ribbons around her knees and Chara was angled slightly as something cut through them down the middle. And then, with one more slash, her ankles were free again. Immediately, Chara lifted a leg and shot it forwards blindly. A boney hand grabbed it with ease and pulled her forward. Chara nearly choked on the gag as her head bounced against the mattress.

"Finally! Cut all that red tape."

"Bone appetite?" Papyrus said from the side. So-Called laughed again.

"We're such bad influences Papyrus."

"No. Just you."

"Why I _never_." Two hands were taking either of her ankles and Chara tried to lift them. Unfortunately, he wanted to lift them too. Chara's ankles were brought up and put on either one of his shoulders.

Chara was starting to hyperventilate, the gag not helping. She bent her ankles in, aiming for his face, but while the right one caught cheekbone, barely, the other found opened teeth. Chara tried her hardest to flail away but the teeth bit down hard on her big toe.

Pain.There was a rush of adrenaline though going through Chara and the fear subsided a bit as the pain raced up her foot and he began to fondle the bottoms of her right leg. But Chara's mind was latched on to the pain.

Pain she knew. Pain she could handle. Pain did not scare her.

He released her toe and pulled Chara forward even more, putting both of her knees on his shoulders instead.

"So soft..." He said, still feeling against her skin. Something wet, his tongue, was against her skin and Chara bit down against the gag, refusing to scream again this time. "And salty..."

She couldn't see him, but he could feel his gaze shifting with the turn of his head. She knew where he was looking. With her legs raised he had the perfect line of sight to... to... A hand let go of her leg and he tilted his head to keep it pinned against her knee. A hand was groping between her legs.

The fear had returned fully and her chest was heaving erratically again.

But to her confusion, he moved away from that and shoved her legs off of him. She was blind and alone for a moment, her head turning trying to find where he had gone. And where Papyrus was she didn't know that either. If he was even still there.

"Alright, guess this is where we start."

They hadn't started. Hadn't even started-

And what did he mean? What was he doing? She couldn't see-

"Sit her up a bit." Hands she knew were Papyrus grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her upwards. He slid in behind her, resting her head against his chest. He was warm but firm and he gripped her forearms, keeping her secure in place. So-Called sat down against her knees, keeping her confined at all sides.

"I assure you, the moment you do, she will spit at you. Immediately." Papyrus' voice came in response to something Chara couldn't see. Immediately, immediately, Chara tensed and waited for So-Called's fingers against the sides of her face, her heart racing this time in anticipation.

So-Called's hands wrapped around to the back of her head, slipping against Papyrus' ribcage.

The gag came out and immediately, Chara spat. Though she could not get the distance.

So-Called laughed loudly.

"Now is that any way to greet a new friend?"

"Go to fucking hell." She seethed before having to cough. So-Called laughed again but this time it was lower and more foreboding. It made Chara's heart skip.

"Everybody does eventually. But unfortunately for you, some of us don't have to die to get there." So-Called told her. His hands were against her cheeks. She could feel herself paling as the double meaning set in. Her life... already a living hell since the moment she had gotten caught, if not even before that to some degree... was about to get even worse. "And I assure you, it will indeed involve a lot of fucking."

He was working on the blindfold and Chara couldn't breathe from the fear of her reality and of what she would finally be able to see.

"And also too bad for you.. One person's hell... is another's heaven."

He pulled the blindfold off and Chara saw his splitting, pointed smile grow even wider at her more than terrified expression. But suddenly...

Her enemy had a face.

She could see it. Read it.

The fire in the red eyes blazed to life and she snarled as the intent filled her even if the collar ensured it could not fill the room. So-Called 's expression fell at the sight of it but soon the smile returned full force. He finally understood what Papyrus had meant about not having even gotten to the best part.

"Oh." So-Called whispered in mock awe. He finally understood what Papyrus had meant about not having even gotten to the best part. "And I was beginning to think Papyrus had bought me the wrong human after all."

Chara smiled, twisted and she saw another flicker of surprise in the lights of the skeleton's eyes.

"You have no clue what you're dealing with." She stated. She tilted her head back, looking up at Papyrus and there she could see the uncertainty that she had failed to achieve in So-Called's face. "Didn't Grillby tell you?" She asked sweetly. "I'm not human." She turned her attention back to So-Called. "I'm a demon."

"A demon, huh?" So-Called reached forward and Chara held back a flinch as he began to pull her Soul from her chest. The red light glimmered like a ruby in his hands. "Sure doesn't look like it does it?"

She felt a rush of magic race through her and she grit her teeth together as he Checked her. He froze, his sockets widening. She felt Papyrus chuckle again against her.

"So what do you think, Sans?"

Sans.....

Sans' smile was the widest now that Chara had ever seen on him yet and she felt exposed as she felt her sins crawling on her back but she didn't regret them. She couldn't. Wouldn't. Neither would she break.

"Pet.... I think you're gonna have a _very_ bad time.... and while I hate making promises, I promise _you_ that it ain't gonna stop until you learn how to quit." Chara could do nothing but spit at him once again. But all he did was chuckle as she stared him down. "That's the expression of someone who has a hard time learning their lessons......... Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Soon. Hopefully.
> 
>  
> 
> But in the mean time I hoped you enjoyed the image of two edgy as fuck skeleton boys being dorks over food.


	9. The Gift (Sans)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do Sans' POV but didn't know how to integrate it because I am inexperienced. I'll try better later. But for now. Sorry. You have to wait one more chapter. This is gratuitous Sans unwrapping plus a little bite extra at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post before work and racing against my computer wanting to shut down and update. Edit spelling later.

"And now to you, I present......"

Chara.

The girl was laying on the edge of his bed, trussed up head to toe in tight, uneven ribbon; a large bow tied to the side of her blindfold. Her chest was heaving with panic and her breathing loud through the ball-gag that had been shoved into her mouth like an apple; traces of drool at the corners of her mouth.

She looked good enough to eat right then and there... A bite sized snack- A promise of an interesting night or so.

A wave of arousal had already moved through Sans as he entered the room and Papyrus shut the door behind them. The girl had flinched, as if wanting to curl in on herself but the ribbons kept her from being able to move. All she could do was tremble in obvious fear as Sans loomed over her.

"Aaw, look at her, Paps." He had mocked as his brother had come closer. "She's shaking."

Papyrus had sat down on the end of the bed and grabbed her ankles to pull her out completely straight and to keep her there. There was anticipationg in the back of his brother's eye sockets, Sans could see he really wanted Sans to like it. Sans sat down on the side of the bed next to the girl's stomach.

"The ribbons are cute." Sans acknowledged. "Nice touch, Papyrus." He could see the wave of excitement in his brother's gaze, the eagerness. But at the same time. The amount of ribbons. It had the air of a prank about it. They weren't on enough to cover and hide anything except for show. "A little overboard though, don't you think?"

"We didn't get this far having it easy." His brother stated, and Sans had laughed thinking about his own little rant in the kitchen. Yeah. Nothing had been handed to them on a silver platter. Nothing until right now. Even if that platter was a bed and faded ribbon. "Besides, when one recieves a gift you must unwrap it."

"True, true." Sans agreed. Even if it was like having a box in a box in a box. It was worth it for the treat inside and the smile on his brother's face. "But let's see what we have here."

He grabbed the girl's face between his hands. He could feel her heart racing beneath the skin, a strange and bizarre sensation. He was used to magic and the taste of the air, which was still there but to have the physical indication at the tips of his fingers- The girl whined through the gag and did her best to arc her face away from him, but she just put herself deeper into the mattress and his grip tightened ever so slightly. Sans resisted the urge to acknowledge her even if he wanted to groan at how delicious it sounded.

Sans had to admit that, while he appreciated the fight, the fear was also suddenly intoxicating: he'd never had that in a partner before. Well, he'd never had anyone so unwilling in general before. But the taste of it that was in the air- Oh even if she wasn't an idiot who knew how to fight and he had her screams and cries, he thought he could take that. But he also trusted his brother. There was definitely more to this girl that was wrapped up in all of these ribbons other than fear.

But he needed a decent look at the rest of her.

He released her face and trailed one down her ribbon covered chest. He summoned a sharpened bone, cutting the ribbons as he went. He had her chest freed but getting the ribbons out from under her was more difficult than he had anticipated as he had to yank them from underneath her weight. Papyrus only snickered as he exaggeratedly flailed with the ribbons and threw them onto the ground. Sans shot him a falsely bitter look.

But finally, he could get at her and he _waisted_ no time. The girl immediately tried to kick at his brother who kept his hands firmly on the ribbons around her feet, and when that failed she tried to rotate side to side in a pitiful display, barely able to move. Sans slipped his hand beneath the solid, green tanktop at her waist and began to move the fabric up. Immediately he saw the webbing scar at her hip and touched it. This was clearly a wound caused by something magic. Maybe an electric attack of some sort, like Alphys', that hadn't been healed properly. The scar didn't bother Sans too much, he doubted she was going to last him long enough for him to make such a lasting impression to begin with so he couldn't really be jealous. But at the same time. Sans laughed.

A magic attack from the front meant she was a captured human. It meant that she had faced her attacker head on. It meant that even if she was a fearful little thing she at least had enough fight in her to not have coward. There was fear, but that did not mean there would not be a fight. Fear could make one hostile. He would have never guessed just by looking at her.

"She doesn't look like much until you start diggin' deeper, ain't she?" Sans admitted. But with that came his brother's perplexing response:

"I'm not so sure."

"What?" Sans asked, and even though he smiled his brow was knit together.

"Keep unwrapping."

Hmmm. Sans turned his attention back towards the girl, his curiosity peaked even furthur. But still all he could see was the girl marinating in her own fear and desire to escape. Sans trailed his fingers away from the calloused scar and immediately he was caught off guard-

"Shit, she's soft." He mused, pressing his fingers into the skin and watching it spring back. "I knew they were squishy-" He'd seen several now completely torn apart, pieces of them every which way. He'd seen a few skewered and bleeding. One burnt to a crisp in his own blasters. The feeling of EXP flooding through his magic and that of the monsters around him. Although there too had been dust- "But like... damn-" Sans grabbed her left boob, smaller than he had anticipated but still- "Her tits are like, it looks and feels like a water ballon." He hadn't been anticipating that, he'd thought all of her would be callous like the skin of the scar. He stared at it as he continued to move it against his fingers, the girl breathing irratically in that continuing terror. "Feel this-" He said to his brother.

"I had a decent demonstration yesterday." Papyrus told him, and when Sans glanced back he was smiling widely. That was right, he would have tested her in some way when reserving her. But he now wondered where he had gone and how much he had been allowed. The places he had gone had been sort of finnicky about it, another reason it had all been annoying and not forthcoming with results. "But you still haven't found the best part."

That in itself was promising and driving Sans a bit crazy.

"Though.." Papyrus continued. "When was the last time you even held a water balloon?" Sans laughed loudly, the image of Doggo's murderous expression and the echo of his barking perfect.

"You missed out on that prank, didn't you?" Sans said through his laugh. He grabbed her other boob as well, squeezing. The girl yelped and her head jerked back again against the mattress. Sans was grinning wide and he parted his teeth as he formed his tongue. He ran it up from her stomach to her chest, her taste salty and the sensation sending a shiver up his spine. The girl though, squealed as she tried to arc her back and get away. But she only pressed herself more up against him and made the sensation in Sans' pelvis electifying for an intense moment. He sorta wanted to keep her like this, tied up and blind and to jerk off against her. He chuckled at the tought as he kept his teeth against her and continued to play with her nipples. "Barely touching her and she's squealing like a little bitch. Paps I thought you knew me better."

"I'm certain she'll last you at least a week, boss."

"Boss..." Sans whispered as he sat up, but in a moment he understood. His brother was giving him even another layer of control over the situation, and another layer of authority. He sent another shiver down his spine. He couldn't keep her tied up like this, he was too curious too wait. So soft and tender beneath his fingers, and the sounds delicious and yet the scar and the promise of his brother implied something even more savory. "But a week, huh?" He asked, continuing to play with her breasts and skin. It was probably more or the same as what he would have gotten if he had bought one himself from the places he had gone. "Well I suppose it'll have to do. But I guess we should start slow cuz I don't know, Paps. I'm not sure she'll even last the night at this rate."

Though that didn't mean he would stop after one night either. That would just be a waste. But it would mean that the fun of breaking her would be over.

"But I guess a night of breaking her could be as good as any." Better than having something already broken from the start, and besides it was their first human after all. It would be a good learning experience no matter what. And a single night to break her, yeah, good as any. "For a first time."

"Speaking of a first time."

Sans looked at his brother with wide sockets but then smiled menacingly down at the girl who couldn't see it as he laughed loudly.

A virgin. A fear soaked virgin who had no clue as to what was going to happen to her tonight and until he was sick of her. Tonight and the rest of her life.

"Oh man!" Sans cried. "We hae to take it slow then!" Slow and agonizing. He laughed still as he bent down closer to her blind face, he could see the fresh wave of terror in her. "Well.. not that slow."

But just slow enough. Something was only new once.

Sans stood up and motioned for Papyrus to release her with a tilt of his head. Papyrus stood up and the brothers heard the girl breathe in sharply, panic at not knowing where they were anymore apparent and clear to read. Sans grabbed the ribbons at her knee and angled her towards him as he quickly cut her legs lose. And then the binds at her angles. And immediately as she could...

The fight begun.

Her leg kicked out in his direction but Sans grabbed it without a problem and pulled her down farther on the bed, makign her choke and cry out through the gag.

"Finally! Cut all that red tape." Sans stated with a slight chuckle. Not he had direct access to almost every part of her. To manipulate and press anyway he wanted.

"Bone appetite?" Papyrus tried from the side. Sans laughed. His brother playing along with all of this was the best part, he decided.

"We're such bad influences, Papyrus." He said, knowing his brother would deny it. And that he did.

"No. Just you."

"Why I _never_." Sans said feigning hurt even though he knew it was true. As he said it, he took the girl's other ankle and began to lift them into the air as he sat down. He put them against his shoulders, giving him access to the bare skin of her legs and an even more interesting view of the hyperventilating girl. She tried to kick her feet towards her face, but with his grip it was as if she was just offering them up to him like that. He opened his mouth and basically.. she had put her foot in his mouth. She realized it immediately but could not pull it away from him even though she tried. Tried kicking her legs back to her body and curl up like a spring. But he had her. Her ankles and her toe. He bit down hard.

A noise came from the girl, but it was short before it cut off. Her breath became easier but her body was incrediably tense. Sans released her foot from his mouth but did not let her go. He eyes her seriously. Her lifted legs, the prize between them and her quickly moving, bared chest as the tank top remained lifted up to her clavical. He pulled her closer, resting her knees against his shoulders to give him an even closer view.

Her.. calves, he thought they were called, were plump. "So soft..." He mused. And her thighs- He leaned his head down a bit, his tongue grazing over her skin just above the knee. She jerked but this time did not scream like before. Progress, he assumed. "And salty..."

He moved his attention to between the two legs. She wore shorts that seemed too big around her waist and that was a pitty. But he knew that soon enough the shorts would be gone and she would be completely unwrapped. He pinned her left knee with his head to his shoulder as he freed up his hand and began to touch just bellow her zipper playfully.

Squishy. Just like the rest of her. Even through the shorts he could feel the prize waiting for him. Completely unused. And untouched, well, besides whatever Papyrus had done to her but he suspected that it wasn't much, only enough to confirm. Untouched. Virgin.

He glanced at his brother who was still smiling from the side, but his brother shook his head.

That was still not the best part.

Well then what the hell was then?!

He pushed the girl off of him and stood up. The girl turned her head towards them, her chest still heaving. Sans stood next to Papyrus, looking her over once again. Sans looked at his brother, the hunger in his expression obvious and Papyrus could see it. But Sans could also see that the anticipation on Papyrus' face hadn't subsided any. But Sans had no more ideas.

"Alright, guess this is where we start." Sans decided. He guessed it was time to finally take off the blindfold and gag. To finally, truly, finish his evaluation and start the fight for real. "Sit her up a bit." Papyrus nearly bounded towards the bed and Sans tried not to laugh. The girl tried to growl through the gag and it came out a whine as Papyrus grabbed her by the shoulders and set her down against him. The girl tried to pull in her legs but quickly Sans sat down against them, forcing them back down and confining her entirely again. He began to lift his hands to her gag.

"I assure you, the moment you do, she will spit at you. Immediately." Papyrus' said, the excitement in his voice. Sans paused, and he realized.... This was the best part Papyrus had been implying this whole time. But of course.

She was powerless. All she would have in this was her voice. He was an idiot. Of course it was her voice. Eagerly, Sans put his hands around her head. She did not move away from him this time, seeming just as eager as Sans and Papyrus to have it off of her, even if for very different reasons.

And just like Papyrus had warned, the moment it was out, the girl was spitting all she could in his general direction. Even if she couldn't reach him at all in her state.

But Sans laughed. And laughed loudly. Perfect.

"Now is that any way to greet a new friend?" He taunted.

"Got to fucking hell." She seethed through her coughs, doing her best to breathe after so long with the gag. Sans laughed again, the excitement racing through him.

Yes. Yes, this would be so much fun. The fear was everywhere around her but so was the Fight. Yes this was everything he had wanted. Even if she couldn't back it up, she still wanted to fight! And that was all he asked.

"Everybody does eventually." Sans told her in regards to hell. "But unfortunately for you, some of us don't have to die to get there." He grasped her face again, wiping away a bit of drool from the corner of her mouth as he watched the blood drain from her expression. "And I assure you, it will indeed involve a _lot_ of fucking."

She couldn't breathe as he reached for the bow on the side of her head and began to work the blindfold off of her.

"And also too bad for you... One person's hell... is another's heaven."

Her **_eyes_**.

Sans' breath caught and he stared for a moment at how vibrant they were. But how terrified... Sans' smile split across his face.. He was going to break her into a million little faces and eat every one. Savoring each bite and each scream and cry... Each weak attempt to get away.

But in an instant.... Something changed.

It was as if someone had lit a match in the back of her eyes and the fire was catching as the red gaze narrowed and she stared right back through him. Sans' expression fell in surprise.

No. No, he had been wrong. So wrong. It was not just her voice-

"Oh." Sans whispered, leaning in closer and his smile returning even wider as he and the girl stared each other down. But the eyes, oh the eyes- the intent they betrayed that the air could not. "And I was begninning to think Papyrus had bought me the wrong human after all." He told her.

And the girl. She smiled. The surprise and arousal spiked through him but as soon as it passed Sans leered even more dangerously as she spoke.

"You have no clue what you're dealing with." She stated. Then she looked up towards his brother. Papyrus watched her face, and Sans could see he was taken aback though he tried not to look it. "Didn't Grillby tell you? I'm not human." Grillby-? The excitement was racing through Sans and he wanted to begin. Immediately. But the girl was still speaking, doing her best to sound confident and fierce as she turned her gaze back to Sans. "I'm a demon."

"A demon, huh?" Sans reached out and the girl flinched as Sans pulled for her soul. And there is was. "Sure doesn't kook like it does it?" He asked.

His own magic was racing as he held it, fondling it, a soft bite struck his fingers but he pressed forward, needing so desperately to have his suspiscions confirmed.

Grillby meant the prison. Grillby mean-

*Check

Chara:

AT X

DEF 10

LV 3

LOVE.

The girl had LOVE. Just barely evenly matched with his own.

LOVE.

Papyrus was chuckling at Sans' expression and realization.

"So what do you think, Sans?" His brother asked. But already knowing he had succeeded in achieving Sans' standards and beyond.

And what Sans thought was as he stared at the girl......

Free EXP.

This was beyong everything he had wanted. He laughed.

"Pet... I think you're gonna have a _very_ bad time..." He told her. "And while I hate making promises," They never came through for him why should he make his own, "I promise _you_ that it ain't gonna stop until you learn how to quit." Until she was begging. Either for him to stop, for him to continue, something... And even then he wouldn't stop right away. Oh dear glory that would be another chapter in her torture. Knowing how far she had fallen. Two weeks. He'd give her two weeks. Maybe two and a half. But oh how he hoped she would surprise him even furthur.

She spat at him again and Sans chuckled, his hopes rising just a bit more.

Her expression, murderous, hateful, stubborn-

That expression...

"That's the expression of someone who has a hard time learning their lesson......" He was going to _destroy_ her. Physically and emotionally until she learned how it felt. And her fighting all the way. "Good."

He stood up and grabbed her quickly off of his brother and threw her screaming onto her stomach in front of him and held her down. His eyes devouring her already as he pinned her legs with his knees against the side of the bed.

Sans stared down at the girl who was doing her best to watch him with the one eye that wasn't pressed down against the mattress. Sans was going to _devour_ her.

"Let's just get to the point."

 


	10. The First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara has difficulty staying determined.....  
> And the author officially reserves her own place in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written smut and this was so much harder than I thought. And repetitive. And I have no clue what I'm doing.  
> And somebody help Chara.  
> The next few chapters are just intense misery and porn.  
> Oh and you will notice maybe that I took out Papyrus going to go get things from the end of last chapter because writing it, I hated it. So. Yeah. Changed but same outcome in the end.  
> And also. Thanks to all who have commented. It means a lot!

This was happening-

"Let's just get to the point."

This was really happening-!

Her legs pinned to the side of the bed and forced onto her stomach with her hands still tied behind her back as he loomed over her with a single hand pressed painfully into her back.

"Get off of me!" Chara cried, keeping his face as best she could in her line of sight even with her head angled uncomfortably on the bed.

"Oh I'm getting off alright." Sans told her. He bent down, breathing in against the back of her neck. Chara closed her eyes, squeezing tightly as she kept telling herself to stay determined, stay determined, stay, please, stay determined-

But it was impossible to stem the panic.

"Well, I suppose I shall leave you to it." Papyrus stated, getting off of the bed and walking towards the door.

"Wait, woah, where are you going?" Sans said, lifting his head off of her and pushing himself up.

Chara dared to open her eyes, releasing a breath she had been holding, trying her hardest to see what was happening. She could see Papyrus fully at the corner of the bed, looked back over his shoulder at his brother. Sans was barely there in the corner of her vision as he continued to hold her down. He glanced to her briefly before looking back to his brother.

"Well, it is your gift." He reasoned.

"Hey!" Sans hand pressed into her back for a moment, bouncing her painfully against the bed. "What did I just say about us getting through this together?" Sans chided before his tone became much softer. "Come on, Paps. You deserve this just as much as I do. It wouldn't be fair. And, heh," He tilted his head towards Chara. "Aren't you just a little bit curious too?"

Papyrus looked down at the girl, her expression wide and panicked before managing to glare right through him, her teeth gritted as she mentally re-promised to kill him. Kill them both. That contrast of emotions. Even as her chest heaved and she couldn't hide the fear despite her wanting to. Because she couldn't keep the glare straight. The snarl lessening as he kept eye contact. He could feel her silent begging from across the bed but he pretended not to hear it.

But he _was_ curious...

He thought about how soft she had been the day before, how much he had wanted to keep watching her expression change into something new. But at the same time, he was very conscious of what was going to be happening. But it wasn't like the brothers hadn't seen each other naked before. Just not like... this. In this type of situation. But at the same time... something new and interesting and his curiosity too much.

And the fact his brother wanted to share this with him, it was filling him with another wave of pride.

"Paps?"

"Just let me put the rest of the food away." Sans laughed triumphantly and Chara's eyes squeezed shut-

"Haha! Yes!" Sans half cheered as his brother left the room. Sans turned his attention back to the little morsel against him.

Sans could see the struggle on her face and feel the up and down motion of her body as she frantically breathed. He groaned as he lifted the free hand not holding her down, reaching to undo his belt. The arousal was starting to drive him crazy as the his flesh ached to form completely. He pressed into it through the fabric, allowing the magic to flow freely without restraint now as he undid the zipper.

Chara opened her eyes at the sound, looking back up at him in alarm. Sans moved his hand from her back to grip at the top of her left shoulder. He bent down, resting his sternum against her back for support as he began to work away at his forming erection; having completely encased her with his body. Already, she was starting to edge towards hyperventilating again beneath him. And although Papyrus was always better at these things, it was clear and easy to sense that magic-like-adrenaline racing through her but with no outlet for flight nor fight.

Sans rested his teeth against the top of her head and groaned. He seriously regretted not doing this with her half tied and still blinded; the fear of the unknown exhilarating to work off of. He would have to remember that for the next human. But this way, she could move just enough to be able to fully squirm beneath him. Sans edged his pelvis closer to her bound hands, using her squirming to his advantage. She felt the front of his pants against her fingers and she gave out a desperate whine to get them away.

"Ssshh." Sans comforted as he continued to stroke. But a new movement only made Sans grunt and breathe hard out against her hair. She stopped struggling for a bit, her weight dead beneath him other than her breathing.

"You're both sick freaks..." She whispered. She gave out a soft whimper as he pressed down harder against her and groaned again as he spoke,

"We'll definitely- be getting freaky." He grunted.

He let up on his formed cock, there was relief in just having it fully ready but he definitely wanted to get goin' but held back, waiting.

"Boss." Papyrus' voice cut through the room and Sans breathed in sharply as he lifted his head back up. Papyrus began taking off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor.

Fucking, finally.

"No." Chara let out, trying to squirm against Sans again and unable to help the lack of confidence in her voice. It was almost like another regrettable whine.

"Oh yeah," Sans replied. His face was right neck to her ear, his breath warm. Chara closed her eyes as she screamed in rage, doing her best to twist and roll and get him off of her. Even bucking her hips to push him, but he only chuckled at that, a chuckle mixed with a groan. "Oh so eager."

Sans sat up and grabbed the back of her hair with one hand and with the other- Chara gasped as her hands were finally free. But for nothing. Sans pulled hard on her hair and forced her to stand. Only to turn her soul blue with magic and throw her forward, farther onto the bed. Chara twisted on the bed, managing to make it onto her back, but afterwards she found herself stuck by the weight of her own soul.

"Let go of me!" She raged, doing her best to get up and support herself with her elbows. Her soul was high above her head, out of reach towards the ceiling but her body felt like it had the weight of an entire person against her. And she was panicking again as to how close she was to that being true.

Sans looked her over, his smile near perpetual as she continued to fight against the blue magic in futility and the panic that was clear in her expression. She had no control. None. And it was too cute. Especially when through that panic, the hatred in her eyes returned as she focused on him. And it was cute that she tried so hard to keep her face like that. And couldn't..

"See you don't want to take this lying down." Sans applauded as she finally got one elbow situated to support her in her attempt to sit up. She rewarded Sans with a new wave of hatred in her snarl. But only for a moment before he pressed down harder against her Soul. Her expression fell with the rest of her and she lay helpless against the bed, her red eyes finding him after she reoriented herself.

"You're a pitiful coward." She told him. A coward. A freak. All she had were insults. Sans shrugged.

"But at least I'm enjoyin' myself." He stated, as if that was all that mattered. And he was leering at her again as he began to run his belt out of its loops. Chara froze, staring out across the bed as Sans held it, enjoying how he could see her mind working with ideas even as it began to turn into static in her struggle to breathe. He reached for the waist of his pants. Chara closed her eyes, tilting her head back, not wanting to be there.

This couldn't be happening, this was happening. Both of them were staying- This was happening. She couldn't move. She couldn't escape, she couldn't-

Sans chuckled at her expression and the way she flinched as she heard his pants fall to the floor. He began to undress completely,

"What? Not enjoying the show, Chara? Such a pity." Sans glanced over to his brother who stood with his jacket and shoes off, his belt and pants, but his boxers and shirt stayed on. But Sans didn't press it. They would take this slow.

Even if it wasn't actually for the struggling human girl's sake. Though the extended struggle was a benefit to Sans.

"It's just like training." Sans said to his brother. "We both trust each other fully, right?" This seemed to ease the tension in Papyrus just a bit more and he nodded.

"Of course." And it was true.

Chara felt a dip at the end of the bed to her left and she gasped as her eyes opened wide as she quickly focused her attention to the threat. She couldn't suppress a surprised, scared yelp at the sight of Sans crawling over the bed, completely bare. He was bones, of course, bones, a skeleton, she had the general idea of what that looked like even if she wasn't aware of what everything. But there was something that shouldn't have been there. At his hips. Something blue and glowing and p-pointed. And it was pulsing with magic as he leered at her.

The panic was cutting through her as she tried to kick her legs. Either to strike him or to push away she wasn't sure. Just to stop him from coming towards her. Just to stop this. It wasn't real. Couldn't be real- This was happening.

She was terrified and Sans could see it, as he grabbed one of her kicking legs.

"You're gonna havta learn to stop doing that." He warned her. "Only gives somebody a better chance at grabbing at ya." And as he said that, he pulled her closer to him.

She couldn't fight, she couldn't fight, she couldn't- couldn't think, couldn't fight-

She pushed at his face as he leaned over her, but her body was shaking and she was too weak to do anything. She couldn't breathe and her body was numb and wouldn't, couldn't respond and her soul wasn't blue anymore, he soul wasn't even blue-

"She is having a panic attack." Papyrus noted, somewhere behind her, Somewhere behind-

"Aw, what happened to all that fire and not knowing what we're dealing with stuff?" Sans mocked. "Grab her hands."

Someone, Papyrus, took her hands away from Sans face and pinned them to the bed. She couldn't fight-! She wanted to fight-! Chara tried. She tried to furrow her brow and glare, but she couldn't breathe and she couldn't fight- too weak and disoriented.

This was happening and she didn't want it to- There was nothing she could do-

It was just pain, just going to be pain, it was just pain-!

But she couldn't believe that. Because in the vastness of all that she didn't know her imagination was running wild. But she knew that blue thing she dare not think the names of was going to go inside her, it was going to go in and move and she wasn't going to be able to stop herself from responding and it was more than torture because he was going to get something even more out of it and- She wasn't going to be able to fight-

She wasn't going to last the night.

Her hands were pinned down somewhere out towards the sides of her head and Sans was on top of her. She couldn't breathe-

Sans chuckled to himself as he settled down against her, the fire in the girl had been replaced entirely with static and she looked almost like a gulping fish with her wide red eyes. Sans reached his hands beneath her tank top, trailing it slowly against her skin and taking the fabric along with it. Revealing her breasts to him again. He formed his tongue, trailing up against her trembling skin. Still so soft and the sensation of it against his skin exhilarating. But he'd have plenty of time to explore, there were priorities and that was getting the rest of that pesky wrapping out of the way so the REAL battle could begin.

Though it seemed like Sans had been right after all, she probably wouldn't last the night. If she would even last his first attack.

They weren't even started and she was falling apart beneath him.

It was a pity, really, but it wouldn't take away from his enjoyment of it. It would just be a different type of enjoyment. One that was just as interesting.

He put her left boob in his mouth, pressing but not hard enough to leave much of a mark. A sharp sound escaped the girl's throat and Sans played with her nipple with his tongue and then all around in a circle against the flesh. He hummed and released it, trailing his tongue up the rest of her chest and neck before stopping.

"Crap, I could do just this all night." The girl's eyes had closed and she had turned her face the farthest she could away from him. Even if she were to open her eyes she would just be staring at Papyrus' boney hand trapping her wrist down against the bed. "Papyrus.." Sans began, lifting himself up a bit. "Go ahead and sit down, put her head in your lap."

The bed dipped again behind Chara and she looked up as Sans wrapped his arms beneath her shoulders, lifting her as his brother sat with his legs crossed, still holding her wrists captive as she was pushed forward and forced to rest her head against his pelvis. He wrapped his finger through hers, holding her hands in place against his knees.

"Perfect." Sans said, noting how now if she had her eyes opened she would be forced to watch everything he did or look Papyrus in the face. Even if she were to look to the side, he would still be there. In the corner of her vision.

Papyrus stared down at her face, she still looked very much like she was drowning in the panic and his brother's blue magic. And Chara could feel the forming magic beneath his boxers pulsing softly against the back of her neck.

And there were too many things to focus on, too many threats-

Sans was smiling directly into her face as he rested against her chest, both of her boobs in his boney palms, watching her surrounded by his brother's boney legs and growing arousal, the tank top rolled up entirely above her chest.

"See? We're taking this nice and slow for you?" He reached up and put a hand through her hair, gently running it down the side of her face. "Just slow... You best enjoy it now, Chara. Cuz trust me... Once we take one step forward... you are REALLY not going to like what happens next."

Chara tried to jerk, but Papyrus held her hands tightly and kept her in place as Sans trailed back down her body and towards the waist of her pants.

"Ready?" He asked her wide expression. No, no she wasn't, no- Papyrus nodded and Chara's racing heart felt like it would explode out of her chest. "Here we go."

He unbuttoned the front of the shorts and suddenly, Chara's voice returned to her. Her eyes shut and she pressed her head back, screaming in rage again as she shook her head, arching her back as she bucked her hip to strike his hand away. But her legs were caught, her hands trapped. Papyrus groaned at the movement, her head agitating. And Sans continued to work the shorts off, this time faster.

"Heh heh heh... This is your own fault isn't it? With that LOVE of yours?" Sans asked. "Your chances of trying to go back were lost a long time ago." He yanked the shorts down and Chara screeched as Sans chuckled, bending down close to her now exposed entrance.  "You _deserve_ this."

Papyrus and Chara were gripping each other's fingers mercilessly as Sans looked her over, taking in an exaggerated breath as he smelled her. And then, to Chara's horror, his tongue grazed across her, sending a new bullet of panic through her and her mind went blank. Sans pulled back and smiled at her again. "Delicious. But still so dry. We're going to have to change that."

"No-" Sans quickly pushed back and pulled the shorts off of her, throwing them onto the floor. Chara lifted a now free foot and tried to kick him in the face. Only for him to catch it again, putting it over his shoulder, letting Chara let out a panicked sound.

"What? Did you think I was just going to stand there and take it? And what did I tell you about learning not to do that?"

He began to work his teeth and tongue down the leg, leaving little marks all the while Chara lost her voice again. She looked upwards, not wanting to see. But all she found was Papyrus' staring face, watching his brother work even as she wouldn't. Chara keened, closing her eyes. Papyrus looked down at the sound with a surprised yet curious expression. He wasn't sure how one could have two very different emotions running through them at the same time. He was also surprised at how much she could feel to begin with. His brother was working freverently against her skin, working his way back down to her entrance. The leg that he'd had lifted over his shoulder was growing red from his handling, but still no blood that Papyrus could see but he knew it would only be a matter of time. He waited for the girl to call out in pain. But his brother didn't bite down, instead he couldn't wait any longer to get at her core.

Sans put down her leg, pinning it again against the bed and took the sight in, taking no time waiting before getting another taste of her. He had his arms looped around her thighs around her legs as she tried to pull them upwards, to pull them closed, but couldn't without pushing his head deeper against her. His tongue grazed across her labia, before prodding at her clitoris. The girl had her teeth clenched, tight and sharp sounds that were painful escaping her as she felt him working. The taste of her was so good but the added sounds were driving him insane. You could hear the protest in each one even as it confirmed his affect on her. Both in fear and growing arousal.

Papyrus relaxed his grip on her fingers, letting the girl's hands twist to get free in vain as she did her best to bite her lip and keep her eyes shut. But the sensation of his brother's prodding tongue were very real and impossible to ignore. And his brother was starting to roll his hips against the mattress of the bed, feeding his own arousal. Papyrus' bones were beginning to really burn as with each lick of Sans' tongue the girl twisted and rubbed against him. And Chara could feel it. Another thing to be incredibly conscious of: the bulge growing against the back of her neck as Papyrus grew more flustered. But there was nothing she could do, Sans' tongue was making her entire body want to convulse and she didn't know what to do-

Papyrus risked releasing one of her hands and grasping beneath her chin, forcing her head back. Her eyes opened, her teeth clenched hatefully, but in the back of her eyes Papyrus could see the silent plea building even as she remained not so silent against him.

Sans prodded against her entrance again, daring to dig his tongue deeper, already impressed by how tight she was and how slowly she was becoming wet. He would have to work her harder than he thought. She couldn't resist much in the way of physically but mentally she was not playing along. Though he suspected that had more to do with the fear than any real fight. And once again, that was a pity. He continued to rub the inside of her thighs with his fingers and prodded once again at her entrance.

Chara's eyes closed again, a sharp sound escaping from her throat. His tongue was so wet and gross and it was on her, it was on _her_ \- Alternating between playing with the same spot Papyrus had the day before with his fingers, which was both painful and yet sending strange sensations through her. And then he would move downwards, pressing into her. There was something coiling in her abdomen and all she could do was arch her back in an attempt to stop it, but it only moved Sans' tongue against her and pressed her head against the growing thing by her head and she had nothing-

All she had was one hand, grasping futilely at Papyrus' wrist trying to get it off of her face. And to her regret, it did move. But it moved down, touching at her chest, playing with her skin and then grabbing her left boob, pumping it with his hands in continued curiosity. Her eyes opened, watching him play with her nipple as Sans chuckled between her thighs, sending the vibrations down and another wave of electric sensation through the center of her abdomen.

It was hard to breath before but between her panic and Sans' and Papyrus' ministrations she was beginning to pant.

"She's getting really wet now." Sans spoke against her clitoris, making Chara whine. "Probably needs a bit more though-" Papyrus watched as his brother unwrapped one of his arms around her legs and reached down for his cock, the grinding against the bed no longer enough. He tried to rub against it but then shook his head. "No, I can't take this anymore."

Sans began to push himself up, moving closer to Chara's face and she whimpered as she saw his hand grasping his shaft and running his fingers across it. Sans' breathing growing more erratic, even as Chara's chest heaved as she began to slip back into the panic attack that had threatened to sweep her mind away earlier.

"No." She said, both to Sans and to herself as he began to reposition himself, her knees bent and her legs opened to him. Papyrus retook her hand and gripped tightly. "Don't- I don't-"

There was a wave of unwanted static from where Sans had been licking and her face flushed as her legs twisted, trying to get rid of it.

Sans wrapped his left arm through hers, resting his elbow against the mattress as he settled his face against her chest, breathing against it with difficulty as his other hand guided his cock. Chara felt his shaft against her skin.

"No." She said again, trying to move, to make it more difficult for him to do what he wanted.

But he didn't listen. Didn't care.

And Papyrus held her secure.

"This is going to hurt," Papyrus told her softly as Sans began to grind against her. But it wasn't the pain she was afraid of and Papyrus could see it in her face as she watched and felt his brother moving against her. And then, he started to grind _into_ her. Chara gasped the moment she felt his cock find the opening and catch and her heart was bursting in her chest, a silent scream already working through her.

And then came the pain just like Papyrus had promised. He was thrusting, rolling his hips to get inside her each time-

"Oh shit." He breathed. "Oh shit, shit, shit- Fuck-" Chara was shaking her head back and forth, her mouth wide open as she couldn't breathe; the pain stabbing through her as he continued to work his way into her. "She's so tight, Paps, shit-" Sans was gasping against her chest, the pleasure almost too much to bare. "So tight and moist and clench- Oh fuck!"

Chara couldn't stop a shrill scream with a new sharp stab of pain. Sans paid no attention to it other than to press in harder and harder as he panted. He lifted his head off of her, pressing a hand into the mattress to help him gain momentum.

She was so tight, squeezing him and oozing wet and he couldn't stop. Already his release was building up inside him.

And the girl... Papyrus kept watching her face, at the journey on it. Her teeth were gritted as she focused on the pain and he realized she was using it in an attempt to ground herself. But she could not hide how each of her pained yelps were slowly edged with more and more... moan-like tones. Or how her mouth would open briefly as she let out a silent scream. And sometimes, she would catch his gaze and there would be a wave of silent begging even as she tried to grit her teeth through it, her silent re-promise to kill him. But she was also unable not to get caught up in the experience as well, the sensations burning through her skin. The way her face would go unfocused..

And in it all was still the fear. But not crying.... She was not crying yet. Though that was there too and she wanted to. Desperately.

And still there was the begging. Her desperately, desperately _begging_ him with her eyes.Begging _: Please_ , but she would not say it. And the brothers would not stop.

That silent fight inside herself was interesting. That struggle with herself over the one with his brother, perhaps... that was the most interesting thing to Papyrus of all of this.

But it wasn't so much for his brother, though that was part of it.

Sans was working more erratically after awhile. He lifted his head and grabbed Chara by the face with both hands as his arms were wrapped under hers. He pulled her and began to make her move with him. Papyrus groaned at the sensation, another flare of arousal through him, and growing as the two moved against him at a faster and faster face.

Sans stared directly into Chara's face, finally able to see the same things Papyrus had been watching. The fight, the fear, the intense pain, the unfocused way her eyes crossed at times and then would close. But then reopen, staring at him with the desire to break and cry.

She hadn't been wet enough when he had begun to enter but now- "Shit!" Sans said again, flinching as her muscles contracted around him and she let out a whine that sounded a lot like a moan to him. But she really, really was tight. So fucking small, he barely fit- Fuck, Papyrus would tear her apart!

Sans risked a look to his brother, the cheeks of his skull flushed with magic. Sans felt him buck against the back of Chara's neck, making the girl close her eyes and her chest to shake with a withheld sob.

"Good girl." Papyrus grunted.

Sans had no control or ability to think that phrase over or why it forced Chara to hold down another sob, but it made Sans laugh as he squeezed her face. Her insides clenched again and Sans felt it- He was nearing his finish, and he couldn't move fast enough and he forced Chara to watch his twisting, pleasure-filled expression. Somehow... He could tell that his pleasure of her was the thing hurting her worse. That and the way he was forcing her to grind back against him. Not the physical pain.... But also the way her body betrayed her...

There was something terrible rising up through her, making her insides clench and the sounds coming out of her- The pleasure through the pain that she could not stand but could not stop-

And it was tearing through Sans as he trusted in deep and froze for a moment as the lights in the back of his eyes flickering as the exctasy flooded him. "F-Fuck!" He tried to keep grinding after the initial wave, to keep the sensation from fading too quickly, but the tightness and her clenching insides were already helping that along.

Sans collapsed against her chest, needing a moment as he took in large breathes.

And Chara. Chara had her eyes closed after seeing the lights in his eyes dance and inside her. It was wet, filling her and she didn't know what it was but it was warm and she choked back a sob as her body's insides twisted, begging against her will for the thrusting sensation to continue, screaming for something even as Chara's mind was screaming for it to stop. And all she had to cling to was the pain. The pain to drown out the other thing, the forced heat and static of her abdomen- And it was wet, it was wet inside her and gross and- But her body spiked with pleasure and Chara whined as she convulsed.

And Papyrus groaned again against her.

Sans laughed weakly, completely aware of her body's betrayal. He rocked slowly again inside her. Very slowly, and Chara bit down a whine but she couldn't hide it fully. Especially as Sans began to increase the pace again.

"I wonder.... how long-" He grunted as he had a sharp spasm of pleasure before he could thrust in again. "How long you can- last... before you can't stop it anymore."

Sans continued to thrust with simple grunts for a moment before continuing.

"I'm already impressed." He noted. "Thought- ugh- you would cum- first."

The sensation was starting to build again and Chara clung to the pain. To the pain and her disgust at everything that was going on around her.

In her.

"How long do you.. think, Paps?" Sans asked as he removed a hand from Chara's face and began to put it between them, rubbing again at Chara's clitoris, causing the girl to scream. "Another minute or two? Five? Seven?"

"I'd say-" Papyrus hissed. "That's up to you." Sans laughed again though.

"How long _you_ gonna last, big guy?"

"I'm fine." Papyrus promised. "You worry about our... guest"

"Right, right..." And Sans began to thrust mercilessly into her again. "Of course. How- hnngh- rude of me."

They were both hot and panting and Sans let his mouth hang open, letting the saliva run over her skin as he licked against her skin, the texture still driving him crazy. He could feel the sensation building inside her as her body grew more and more tense and her back arched. And her cries continued only to draw out into moans as time went on, they were nearing over twenty minutes since Sans had started to eat at her, longer than he had anticipated. But finally he could tell she was reaching the unavoidable edge and could no longer bring herself back.

Sans found himself building up another climax as well....

"Shit." San breathed.

And Chara still clung to the pain, but it was getting harder- And his breathing- Both were panting and struggling, but it hurt in her chest, the mimicking actions, as if they were in this together.

As if he wasn't using her as an inanimate object. A pet. A toy.

No....

Only a human.

She can't focus on the pain. The sensation is coiling rapidly like a blazing fire through her and she was screaming, moaned loudly, as her insides clenched violently, and the tension released. She grasped Papyrus' fingers tightly, as Sans continued to thrust frantically, cursing under his breath. Causing the sensation to last and twist and Chara's entire body convulsed. As he came again, riding out the last wave of her orgasm.

The scream lingered in her throat as she panted heavily, weighted down and unable to move as Sans collapsed again, breathing heavily against her chest. She bit down into her lip, not wanting to cry. Refusing to cry.

And she knew deep in her soul... what just happened... it was supposed to feel good. It was supposed to be important to her. Somehow... Someway....

The despair was seeping through her. The unknown not so unknown anymore but still feeling something lost.

She was sandwiched between two grown men, one buried deep inside her while the other helped hold her down, still gaining some sick pleasure just by being there against her.

And that sensation she couldn't stop like a spring being released from its box. The pleasure-pain that built with no input from her, just from what others would do to her.

And it wasn't going to stop. And Chara had no say. And Chara had nothing she could do. And Chara....

Everything was already tender and sensitive even to how Sans' body moved as he caught his breath.

And she had nothing. Nothing. It was never going to stop. And somehow, this was different than torture. Somehow...

She wasn't going to be able to win.

She wasn't going to be able to stay herself.

Grillby had been right. Someway or another. She was going to beg out loud.

Nothing she was going to do... would matter.

Sans lifted his head and smiled up at her.

"heh. you look frustrated about something." He teased. "guess i'm pretty good at my job, huh?"

And with all of her strength, Chara spat into his face. Even as she blinked back tears.

 


	11. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara's hell continues. The boys are in heaven.  
> Everyone considers her already out of the game. Including herself....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The formatting got wonky when I copied this. I tried to fix it. But it may still not be how I originally intended. Even so....

And Sans laughed. Chara gasped as he moved, unable to focus again as her body shot her unreasonable amounts of mixed pleasure and pain. He was still inside her and she simply refused to cry-

Sans took the rolled tank top from across the top of her chest, the base of her neck, and wiped the spit off of his face

"Now, now." He managed. "You're going to make me sound cliché."

"You? Never." Papyrus said through his heavy breathing. Sans laughed again, breathy but against her, causing sensations she didn't want as he shook against her.

"I just think we better find- something better for her mouth to do." Chara cried out as Sans began to move again, but this time pulling out of her fully, but not plunging himself back in. The tears stung but she held back, even as liquid leaked out from her down bellow and she knew it wasn't all hers...

"I'm not- kissing you-" She told him, biting back tears still, biting them back. Sans froze above her and immediately she knew that she had said something wrong. And he chuckled this time, settling back down against her though not inside her, not inside....

"Kiss?" He asked, highly amused. He grabbed her face, his hands sticky and smelling and Chara's heart was racing. "Haha, look at her... She thinks I was talking about kissing." But she could see his forming tongue and he opened his teeth, letting it hang out again and Chara clenched her teeth. "But I guess we better get ya ready and wet again now that you've spit it out."

Chara pressed her eyes closed as he planted his teeth against her lips, forcing his tongue against her. She pressed back against Papyrus who groaned again. Both of their heads were in his lap and he could no longer keep a straight face as he watched them.

Sans tongue pressed against Chara's teeth and she opened them, trying to bite. But only giving him exactly what he wanted. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, and Chara gagged, her body convulsing as she couldn't bite down, his tongue working around hers and she couldn't breathe.

And her mind was caught up in it, aware. Aware of him against her, his knee pressed against his entrance, the knowledge that this tongue had been down there not a half hour ago. And now it was in her mouth and she was struggling to breathe. Sans pulled back, letting the saliva drip from her lips and his tongue and there was another intense pain in her chest as she withheld a sob. Though her lips trembled and the back of her eyes stung.

"How's that for not kissing?" Sans asked, rubbing his murky smelling thumb across her bottom lip. Sans looked up to Papyrus. "Whatcha think? Good enough for ya?"

"Me.." Papyrus repeated.

"Yeah- didn't just keep ya here to watch.."

Papyrus brought one of her hands down to her lips, allowing him to pressed the back of his hand into her lips. Chara opened her mouth, biting weakly against the bone. Her mind very aware of it being bone. Very aware of his brother's knee grinding into her entrance and making her entire body weak.

"Hey-" Sans began again, a clearly new idea in the tone of his voice. He pulled on Chara, making her whimper as her head was brought down and away from Papyrus' pelvis. Papyrus hissed, making Sans laugh. "Use her hand."

"What?" Chara had the same question and she did not want to answer. And yet she could not look away from Sans, panic easing back in at the prospect of something new again.

"Get yourself ready, right? But make her do it." Chara looked up at Papyrus, and he could see the panic but reminded himself that it really didn't matter. And besides, it was interesting to see how that expression would shift.

"You don't have to." Sans told him suddenly. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Unlike Chara.... And that fact hurt in her chest. Because Papyrus was moving away from her, lifting up onto his knees, but he was lifting her trapped right hand.  Even though she tried to pull it away he was too strong. He bent forward over her head, supporting himself with their gripped left hands against the mattress while the other twisted its grip onto her wrist and began to force it beneath his boxers.

Chara's eyes squeezed shut as he worked her hand against him. It didn't quite feel like flesh like Sans' had. It was more gelatenous, not fully formed though she could feel-

He forced her fingers around it, that pulsing thing that had been forming behind her head the entire time his brother had worked against her, in her. He forced her fingers into a fist around it, pressing and forcing her fingers- It was gross and oozing even as it hardened. She bit her lips forcefully. It felt big. Really big and growing and she wanted to cry- And it was not just her hand and Papyrus' working against his erection. There was still Sans. Slowly working his leg against her entrance, causing her to buck into him as she couldn't stop- And she heard both men grunting, Sans touching himself as he watched. Keeping his own erection ready.

Papyrus squeezed the hand that was keeping her other one pinned against the bed as her working fingers sent another wave of pleasure through him. She squeezed back, silently protesting the sensations running through her. But, if Papyrus just closed his eyes and didn't look at her trembling face anymore, he could pretend that it was silent encouragement.

"Good goin, Paps. Just keep- hnn- working her fingers until your ready." Papyrus knew what he was doing.... He was more than ready but the sensation of having her fingers around him in a tight fist was nearly too much. But he stopped, opening his eyes and letting himself catch his breath. "Ready?" Sans asked.

"Yeah-" He said, he was sweating and trembling already. Sans took his hand off of his own erection and prodded at Chara's mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter.

"Still nice and wet in there?" Sans asked. Chara had already figured it out though, what the brothers were planning above her. At least half of it. At least sheknew what they were going to want her to do with her mouth.

"I'll bite." She whispered, still keeping her eyes shut. "I'll bite it off." Sans laughed.

"You can try. But I assure you that the outcome will not be how you'll want." Just like the 'kiss'. "Let's turn her over."

 Papyrus removed her hand, releasing her entirely as Sans forced her onto her stomach and pinned her back down. Papyrus slid off of the bed, taking off his shirt and then finally, his boxers. All the while, Sans fought with the struggling Chara, to push her towards the side of the bed. Papyrus grabbed her hands again, pulling her along until her head was over the side. She was breathing erratically, panicking again. But what she wasn't anticipating was Sans settling back behind her.

She could only feel as he lifted her hips and settled her into his lap. He forced his legs against her sides, the bone pressing into different points of her skin, messaging her boobs with his feet. And Chara... Chara used Papyrus' gripping hands, bending her elbows to pull herself forward and over the side of the bed, and off of him. But Sans laughed as he grabbed her legs and pulled her back forcefully.

Sans' erection was prodding at her entrance- She screamed shortly as he thrusted forcefully back into her. He was completely hilted in a way he hadn't been able to before in his former position. Chara saw stars in the back of her eyes as he hit something previously unknown and her own weight and downward position made it easier for him to keep her clenched around him. Sans rolled his hips, causing Chara to shutter with a forceful sob and moan that she just barely swallowed down.  Chara felt so gross, so lost and unable to do anything as Papyrus held her hands out in front of her.

"Here." Sans groaned and Chara felt her arms twisted... as Papyrus handed her over. Control over her body completely in Sans' hands. He yanked on her arms, causing her to thrust against him and Chara screamed as she was forced to arch her back, her head rising. And she found herself staring up at Papyrus' face.... because she.. she didn't want to look at what was now  positioned right in front of her face.

Please, please, please..., Her soul pulsed and the tears were building up in her eyes as she stared up at him. But she knew that he was somehow the crueler of the two. With his curious and calm expression. He bent down, bringing his mouth closer and pressing it against her lips. Curious.... As she squeezed her eyes shut and whined against his prodding tongue.

Sans was slowly rolling his hips against her even as he kept her steady with her confined arms as his brother forced his tongue around hers. He pulled away though, saliva running down Chara's lips again as he stood back up though he kept her face trapped in his hands. Chara's entire body was shaking from her strenuous position. Her arms were stretched out to the side and her back aching and her chest tight and she couldn't breathe. She couldn't close her mouth fully with her body stretched so mercilessly and Papyrus squeezed at the sides of her jaw, forcing it to stay that way.

Please-

But Papyrus was positioned himself, his legs pressed up against the bed, and the head of his cock-

Chara let out a broken sob as she went limp against them, unable to hold back anymore. She couldn't do anything to distance herself, to tell herself that it wasn't real even as it moved and Sans grunted against her and shoved it through her. She couldn't do it- Couldn't pretend. It was large and orange and brushing against her lips and the tears were running down her face as she struggled to take in sharp breaths of air, panicking as she wasn't ready-  
And Papyrus watched her broken expression, her eyes especially as she couldn't take them off of his cock. He can still hear the silent begging from her Soul.

"Oh shit." Sans stated, the sounds of her beginning to sob driving him crazy and he regretted her face being turned away from him, unable to see the first of the tears. "Do it, Paps. Do it. I can't wait anymore."

He rolled his hips again, desperate to get started. He was all for the teasing and tormenting her but he needed to move. This only made Chara cry harder, unable to stop now that she had started. Her entire body hurt and there were still intense spikes of pleasurable static and she had no control. When was she ever the one in control?  
Papyrus ran a hand through her hair, comfortingly as he saw her going through another wave of what he would have called despair. It really had been a surprise at how much of it she could feel, how that for a moment in this instance he couldn't feel that fiery hatred, only her intense silent begging. He almost, just almost, dared to pity her.

But he knew the hatred would return. Humans were creatures of self-preservation and hatred. Nothing else. These emotions she was feeling came from her lack of control. Her inability to ensure her own preservation. Nothing more... These were the complex feelings that Papyrus could not fully understand, could hardly imagine. How one could be so dangerous and murderous and yet be able to feel something so acutely as fear even if, as Undyne said, they could not love and was nothing like him on the inside.

"Paps!" Sans begged, thrusting her against him, causing her face to contort with an ugly wave of despair and displeasure. "Her mouths cute an all- but I swear it will feel even greater! If you would just start!!"

Papyrus couldn't help but smile at his brother. It was nice to see even as he had gotten so far ahead in their lives, he still had something like this in him. Basically begging. Begging his brother to start even as the human girl couldn't even dare to beg him aloud to stop, knowing it was one of the things keeping her alive. But that was a luxury the brothers could have and she could not. And Papyrus indulged his brother, pushing past his unacknowledged hesitation. This was just another reason that Sans was the boss.

He grasped at the human's hair, forcing her head farther back and her jaw opened wider. The girl gasped for air, her eyes wide as he shoved his entire length deep into her throat. Immediately the girl choked, convulsing as she couldn't even try to jerk away with her strained position and his tightly gripping fingers. Papyrus closed his eyes, caught up in the sensation as he moaned loudly. Her throat was tight and squeezing and she tried to bite down but was unable to as she gagged. And besides, the attempt only made the pleasure seeping through Papyrus more intense.

He pulled back, letting the girl breathe with his head in her mouth before he thrust back in. So warm and wet and tight, her teeth pressing lightly in her attempt to do something.

But it was warm and slightly salty and gross and the sensation of it running across her tongue, driving into the back of her throat. All of it choking her and making her gag. Struggling for the brothers all the more sweetly.

Sans groaned, beginning to thrust into her from behind. Riding her as forcefully as he could now that he wasn't waiting. He still used her arms, pulling her back and it made the magic swirl in Papyrus' skull as it moved Chara's mouth against his shaft and he did his best to synch his rhythm with that of his brother's and her mouth. Sans was panting and groaning, and with each thrust the tears came down quickly against Chara's face, something inside her being hit just right and wrong and driving the pleasure through her. But she couldn't breathe either, her head pounding as her heart raced and Papyrus drove deeper into her mouth, her throat. She couldn't breathe, she was forced to swallow, the taste thick and almost salty and it made her want to gag again. This only sent Papyrus convulsing.

"There we go." Sans praised. "There. Keep goin'. Feels so good, d-doesn't it?" Chara struggled as Papyrus pulled out, her back shaking with another loud sob, only to gag again as he thrust back in.

The two men worked together as quickly as they could. They were thrusting in opposite times. Sans would thrust her backwards as Papyrus pulled out, and even as Chara gained a sharp breath of air, it was almost nearly pushed out of her in a moaned sob.

Sans lost his grip on one of her wrists. Her hand immediately rushed to Papyrus' hip, clawing desperately with no real force. Unable to breathe properly as her head continued to feel like it was filled with little needles and the pressure building like she would explode.

Her mouth was so wet though when she tried to breathe and it sounded like she was drowning against Papyrus' length as he didn't let up, growing faster and more erratic as a climax was building- He'd never felt anything like this. Not even in his few experiences he had. And this was just her mouth-

"Oh Toriel," He struggled the pant, feeling almost guilty in using her name like that.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, go." Sans panted, grinding wildly. Chara screamed around Papyrus' dick, having it cut off again as Papyrus convulsed, unable to pull it out fully this time to allow her to breathe. This made Chara's free hand claw more violently, struggling as she choked, desperate for air. But Papyrus's magic was flaring through him and he was about to climax. Sans beat him to it.

His brother called out loudly as he came, arching his back and thrusting wildly as he could into Chara, riding it out. The girl's strangling body convulsed and each of her muscles tensed. Papyrus pulled back just in time, resting his cock in her mouth as the girl tried to scream, couldn't scream as her own climax rolled through her. Her teeth clenched, sending Papyrus over the edge as she bit down. The liquid filled her mouth.  
It was salty and thick, thicker than the awful taste of before and  Chara sobbed around him as he thrust in more, forcing her to swallowing it. Sans fell back against the bed, her legs limp beside him even as she continued to shake and experience left over waves of forced pleasure even as she continued to gag around Papyrus.

Papyrus pulled out, and immediately the girl gagged.

"Don't let her-!" Papyrus was already acting on Sans' command, covering her mouth forcefully as he continued to hold her hair, forcing her to reswallow as he held her head back painfully. Her eyes were closed, another convulsion working its way through her as she clawed at his wrist against her face. Once she had stopped, he released her and let the girl fall against the bed, she was sobbing weakly with her head over the side. Her near empty stomach was turning nauseously.

Sans lifted a leg, beginning to pull out of her, more sick liquid running out of her. Everything was sore and her entrance felt like an oozing, gaping knife wound through her abdomen. And her _throat_....

"That was so good." Sans panted. "So good, that was one of the best orgasms I've ever- fuck."

"She was so.. moist. And tight." Papyrus began, somewhere near her. "And when she tried to- to bite down." Sans was groaning at the thought and Chara closed her eyes tighter, not wanting to be there as another sob rocked through her.

And then someone was taking her by the shoulders and she keened sharply as she was turned over, being brought fully back onto the bed and back to the fight. Papyrus sat next to her, his breathing still uneven but more steady than hers as she openly sobbed. Her cheeks were flushed and she couldn't keep her mouth entirely closed and her entire body was aflame. She felt miserable. Gross and covered in different liquids, filled with them even as her stomach felt hollow and she wanted to heave. And sore. And wet. Sore and wet from all the prodding.

Papyrus was taking her left hand in his, holding her hand as if to comfort her as he supported her, wrapping his other arm around her shoulders and held her into a near sitting position as she looked up at him, scared of what he was going to do to her now..

"There..." Papyrus said softly, using the solid, green tank top he had put on her to wipe at her face. "You did very good. Good girl. Well done." Chara let out another miserable sob. "You held out longer than we expected. Go ahead and cry... But I did tell you. You couldn't escape this."

Chara choked and Papyrus lifted his free hand, green healing magic racing through her and Chara tried to pull away from his gentle touch as it worked on her throat. But it did not matter. And Papyrus found that his healing magic was always much stronger after experiences like this. Though something.. felt slightly different this time. But no matter.

But as gentle as his touch and words, as warm and healing his magic was, Chara knows it is just so they can use her again. For longer. Prolonging all of this the best they could. And still.. there is nothing she can do-

"You've made boss and I very happy.. taking us both like that.. Very good girl. It seems that our lessons are already working." She turned her head away.. Only to find Sans laying parallel and mirrored against her, watching her face as he looked over his cock, glistening wet from both of them. He watched her face scrunch up, her eyes closing as she continued to cry to herself.

"heheh.. that's the expression of someone who's cummed twice in a row." He told her. "Suffice to say, you look really.... _unsatisfied_." Chara shook her head- No. No, she didn't want this to go on, pleas- "All right. How 'bout we make it a third?"

Chara keened, her entire body shaking with a new sob. Sans met his brother's gaze.

"I just.. need a moment, my magic.." Papyrus nodded in understanding. "You take her." Sans told him. Papyrus looked down at the girl's trembling face in surprise as she continued to cry. "Let me watch- this time.."

"I don't know." Papyrus admitted. "Her mouth.. It was so tight." So tight and wet and warm and more than anything he had ever experienced. "I think I'm too big for her." Chara was keening again, but Sans was only smiling.

"So?"

"I don't want to ruin it so early." Sans chuckled through his uneven breath.

"You can heal nearly anything, Paps. Best healer on the team. Almost as good as any doctor."

And it was true. He had needed to be considering that since be gore three weeks or so ago, his brother's HP had only been-

"And we have a bunch of the tablets right?" Hmm. That was also true. "Besides, look at her. She's in pieces. Let's be real. Everything else at this point is just a bonus until I get her begging. Go ahead, bro... I want to be the one to watch her squirm this time..."

Papyrus watched her face as she opened her eyes, a spark of anger in there at Sans' words but at the same time fading out of her quickly as she accepted them, unable to refute it.

The sweat against her skin, her and Sans' cum still inside her, the mix of cum and saliva lingering in her mouth. And the tears. And her helpless to do anything but not beg...

And it still remained that she wanted to. That she was already doing it in her mind. And with one false move. One slip of the tongue.....

Sans propped himself up on his left elbow, giving him a better view.

"How do you want her?" Papyrus asked. Sans hummed.

"I'm comfortable." He admitted. Papyrus breathed out a laugh. "I got it. Finger her out there, and then, when your ready, you can rotate her so she's laying down next to me. That was I can see her face no matter what. And what's going on down there." He winked for his brother and luckily Papyrus was still too aroused to be ashamed. And he did trust his brother, he didn't even need to remind himself of that one.

Papyrus reached down and Chara whimpered as he let go of her left hand and began to put a finger into her and then quickly another. She pressed her legs together, trying to restrict his movement. His fingers glowed green, healing her, but at the same time- only making her tighter for him when it would come down to it- less prepared.

He stopped healing, and Chara whimpered again. She could feel his fingers and the liquids already inside of her. She could feel his cock pressing against her lower back, growing harder again as he listened to her voice and the oozing, squishing sounds. She reached her left hand out to try and pull at his wrist, but Sans quickly grabbed it.

"Nuh-uh-uh." He chuckled. "But if your so eager to do something." He pressed her own hand down between her thighs as Papyrus continued to work, pressing a third finger into her. Sans forced her knuckles down against her sore clitoris and she clenched her teeth in pain as he continued to knead them into her. Her legs kicked at the covers but all she could really do was tilt her head back as Sans chuckled again.

Papyrus' turned his face back towards her. Once again watching her with that same horrible expression he had been keeping all of this time. As if she were nothing but a curiosity against him. Not a struggling person. And any sign of that a bewildering surprise.

And she knows, he really is somehow the crueler one of the two.

Because she thinks that somewhere in his expression she can see someone who could naturally be kind. In another world. 

It did happen, she knew for a fact, but they always ended up being the worse ones of all. Needing to prove that they weren't. Because this world was one where people like that did not survive. Now all that looms over her, sitting with his cock against her skin and his boney fingers pressing into her, is another demon.

They always ended up this way. Well, almost always. She'd only met one person stupid enough to stay that way. Kind. The fool... But Chara was an idiot after all. She'd let him. She'd fought. She'd been cruel enough for both of them.

But now she really was defenseless. She was done. After months of fighting Grillby, never being able to touch her beyond the pain. Now she was falling apart. With no way to fight back. No way to stay herself. Having nothing. Nothing but a single free hand that she was using to grip tightly against Papyrus' ribcage to steady herself as the two men worked. She was just so sensitive to the touch. Everything hurt. It was no longer even a false pleasure, even though her body clenched in waves and she panted and continued to cry.

A single free hand. Weaponless, Attackless, defenseless. Hopeless. Defeated. Nothing but her empty hand and pinned down. Defenseless as she and Papyrus kept their eyes on one another as he and Sans continued to work and prod. Defenseless as he watched with that same damn expression. Faint lights in the back of his eyes sock-

 _"But I wouldn't be defenseless-"_ That fool had told her so long ago, promising to be alright.

Chara's sobs quickly transformed into an instantaneous laugh. The swell of confidence through her, the bursting of laughter from her chest even as Papyrus' fingers stopped but remained inside her. Even as Sans held her left hand against herself. And Chara was delirious with it. Even though she knows it won't stop what is happening. Even though she knows it will only make it worse. But it is the only thing she has along with the thought of the person who gave it to her.

Chara released her right hand from Papyrus' rib.

And in an instant.

Plunged it straight into Papyrus' eye socket.

Right before balling it into a tight fist. Stuck.

_"I'll just poke em in the eyes and run away!"_

And Chara was laughing even more maniacally as the skeleton began to scream.


	12. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is still scary  
> And the author went asdhfjlkashdfjalhjlhj trying to write things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY  
> SO.  
> I deleted the last time I posted this chapter and now it is 2k longer  
> So here is what happened. I went to write next chapter. Lots of Telling vs Showing going on. And then I tried to write other things and I was like, I like this, but this needed to go BEFORE last chapter. While at the same time I would have to change some of last chapter for tone.  
> So that is what I did.  
> So here I am again going ah shit, Cam, learn how to not post things right away.  
> No, I say to myself. how bout i do anyway  
> (and then she regretted it. each time)  
> Sorry and thank you for your patience with me.

_"Ows!" Sans protested, a hissing, whistling sound in his voice as the air traveled through the missing tooth of his scowl. Papyrus didn't stop though, sitting on the cot beside_ his brother as he worked over the bone of Sans' cracked arm with green healing magic. "Stupid bastard." He grumbled. "I'll get Jerry back, don't worry."

"You shouldn't get into so much trouble over such things. I can handle a few harsh words, brother. Besides. You know he only did it exactly to provoke you."

Nobody had ever told the two children they were brothers. Nobody had to. And not just because they were the only two skeletons in the group home. They both knew it in their Souls. It told them. It didn't tell them who was older or younger, whether or not they were the same age. That didn't matter though. The specifics. But something unshakeable was there, grown stronger by the situation around them. Though while Papyrus appreciated the care Sans showed-

"I wish you would not take such a risk." Sans growled at those words.

"Stupid 1 HP. It won't always be like that you know!"

"I know." Papyrus agreed. And he did. They went over it often enough.

Papyrus stopped healing the cracked arm, no longer cracked. Sans flexed his fingers and grasped at his wrist.

"You're getting really good at that." Sans noted.

"And you're getting better at dodging."

"Yeah well not good enough."

"I believe in you. You'll get it. But at the same time... I still wish you wouldn't practice quite like.. that." But no matter how many times he said it, Papyrus knew it was pointless. His brother was not one to back down and take something laying down.

"I'm telling ya, Paps, we're getting out of here as soon as we can. We gotta be ready to take any chance."

His brother... he always talked as if this place was a prison. Of course it wasn't the greatest place to be, Papyrus assumed, but it wasn't as if they were truly trapped. Papyrus didn't mention it this time though, only listened as Sans began to lay back against the cot and Papyrus laid down next to him, both staring at the ceiling someone a long time ago had plastered fake glowy stars on. Though many had fallen and pealed away long ago and most no longer glowed.

"Nobody to push us around. Nobody to tell us what to do or how to be. I'll be part of the Royal Guard. One of the highest! Everyone will respect me. I'll capture and kill the most humans. They'll call me Sans the Terror. Maybe I'll even end the war. For good. Really end it. I'll be powerful and protect us. And we'll have a house. Our own! A bedroom and bed for each of us. A kitchen full of food."

"Where did the food come from?" Papyrus asked.

"We bought it."

"But somebody has to cook it."

"Hnn not always. People just buy food right?"

"I think I'd like to cook."

"Well then, shit. You can cook it. That's my point, Paps. We could do anything. Anything we want. What else would you want to do besides cook?"

"... I don't know. I just want to stay with you. Maybe I'll join the Guard too. As long as we're both happy.... and maybe... I think I'd like to make some friends. Though not like the ones here."

"Yeah, those aren't friends, Paps. They're just trying to use you."

".... I know. It's like you always say. I need to learn to be more forceful."

"Well.. Only sometimes. Just enough to get by..... Overall I just wish you could assess and adapt to a situation better. So you can't be pushed.,,,, But I'd like to see you with friends too. I think that would be nice. To have more people in our lives that we can actually trust. But...... someone like you is kinda rare, Paps. Most people don't deserve you. Maybe even I don-"

Papyrus turned and punched his brother lightly.

"Don't say that, Sans. I tell you each time not to." Sans laughed.

"Heheh, sorry, bro. I guess I've just been a little cracked up lately."

"OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Sans only laughed harder but eventually settled back down. "But I am serious, brother... I really wish you would fight less for my sake."

"But _I'm_ serious. We're going to have everything. Everything, Paps. I'll make sure of it."

"And I'll help you. Every step of the way. As long as we're together and both of us are happy."

"Yeah.. As long as you're happy."

" _We're_ happy, brother." Papyrus admonished. "We're."

"I'll only be happy when I'm strong enough to make you happy." Sans stated.

"Well then I guess you already are. Because I'm happy now."

"Heh-... Heheheheheh." Sans lifted his hand and covered his eye sockets. Papyrus smiled in success. "Paps. Paps, Paps, Paps...."

"See? See how much you're smiling?"

"Shut up." They stayed laying on the cot, hearing voices somewhere outside of the room but not bothering to care about anyone else for just a bit longer. "Papyrus..?"

"Nyeh?"

"You're the only thing in here worth fighting for." There were stars in Papyrus' eyes, smiling stupidly at his brother. Sans' uneven and gaping smile widened. "Shut up." He repeated though Papyrus hadn't said anything.

"But nyeh heh! You're wrong! There is also you! You're worth fighting for too!" Sans shook his head but he was smiling.

"Thanks, bro."

"So! As you grow stronger, I will too! More forceful. If you have to keep fighting, I will too. That way! You will never have to fight alone! Someone will always have your back"

"I.... I never thought of it that way. It would be nice."

"It IS nice."

"Heh. Yeah.... Just..... Just don't go changing too much on me."

"No. Never. And I will say the same to you. I'll make you promise even. I know how much you hate those."

"Heh. I promise, bro."

"Then it is settled! I promise to."

"Kay."

"Kay."

"Kay."

"Now you are just being ridiculous!" Papyrus declared.

"Want me to change?"

"No! What did I just say?!"

"Kay."

"Nyeh heh."

_"But if you'll excuse me I have to go steal all of Jerry's hoarded monster candy."_

* * *

 

Papyrus' scream. The girl's laughter. Ringing through his skull-

If Sans were to have a stomach. It would have bottomed out at the sound of his brother's scream. Bottomed out at the sight of the girl's hand straight through his eye socket. And for a moment, Sans' fear was intense, forgetting the affects of the collar. Forgetting she had all the intent of an inanimate object. Even if that didn't mean it still couldn't hurt.

Didn't mean that somehow it still couldn't kill.

"PAPS!" His brother was clenching at the girl's wrist with the hand that moments before had been buried inside of her, now desperately trying to get her hand out of his socket. Chara gave another round of intense laughter.

"I thought you wanted a FIGHT!" She yelled, her voice still watery even through her laughter. And Sans- The murderous intent filled the air around him and Chara screamed as two light blue bones came up through her abdomen and he yanked her left hand forward, forcing her to move against them. But she would not release her fisted grip.

No. No, she had no intent, no Attack. But that did not mean she was entirely defenseless. No.

The bones disappeared and Sans was on top of her in an instant, grasping around her throat right above the collar and cutting off her awful laugh.

" **RELEASE** HIM!" Sans raged, the magic fire blazing in his eyes. Chara resisted. But the longer he held her the clearer it was that he would not let her go. He would kill her. He really meant to kill her if she didn't listen.

LET HIM, her mind cried. Let him kill her. Let her die with laughter in her chest and smile on her face and excruciating pain through one of her enemies. Kill her- And he would. He would kill her right then. Even though the victory was slightly hollow because she knew, his only regret would be that he hadn't had the chance to do it slower. But if that was the only victory she could take- then- Her head was beginning to spin from the lack of air, her throat hurting again-

" **Let**. **My brother**. **Go**."

Brother **.....**

Chara unclenched her fist and Papyrus quickly yanked her hand out of his socket, covering it as he caught his breath. Sans released Chara and she gasped in quickly, her throat still hurting- Her lungs burning.

She was trapped under Sans and against Papyrus as Sans grabbed his brother's shoulders.

"You okay?" He demanded. Papyrus nodded and Chara's spinning mind caught on to one detail, translucent, yellow tinted tears. Skeleton's could cry-

"I'm fine, fine... Pains fading. There's just.. some black blotches still." Sans turned his expression back down to Chara and Chara was paling at the raging hatred and her unable at all to escape it. Before he had wanted to fuck her, watch her break even as he smiled and laughed, **now**...

He grabbed her by the hair, the magic pulsing through the air.

"You **bitch**! I have half a mind to stick my hand up your ass right now!" Chara was panicking again, grabbing his arm with her hands but it just made him grip into her skull harder.

"Sans-" Papyrus began. But Sans wasn't listening.

"You look at me." Sans ordered and Chara squeezed her eyes shut. "YOU LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Chara screamed, pain rolling through her entire body. Hot. Burning. Straight out from the middle of her chest. Her eyes opened but her vision blacked out for a moment even as the pain subsided.

He had stabbed a bone straight through her Soul above them. But he let up at the sight of her opened gaze. Chara was weak, unsure of how much HP she had lost but knowing very well that she had. And she was weak, with Papyrus still supporting her with a single arm despite everything that had happened. She was weak and trapped with a skeleton that could still very much kill her in an instant kneeling over her. Kill her in an instant. Kill her slowly over the course of the night. The week. A skeleton who had already been planning on it.

But something about the situation had also changed and she was genuinely afraid. Before this... they had been using her for their own amusement, but now.. Now she could see that he truly wanted to hurt her.

And he was leering down at her, releasing her hair and grasping at her face.

"You still got some fight in you. PERFECT. Fucking fine, **fantastic**. Rule ONE. You can try whatever the fuck you want right? EXCEPT touch my brother, you get that you piece of shit?! Maybe family means nothing to you fucking humans but I SWEAR to Toriel if anything happens to him I will end your life in the most excruciating way possible!" He tightened his grip on her cheeks, the tips of his pointed fingers digging into her skin as Chara's heart raced without comfort. "And rule two. You can do whatever the fuck you want but you better be willing to accept the **consequences**. Got that?!" Chara flinched but did not respond. Only making him angrier. "GOT **THAT?!"**

"Sans-" Papyrus tried again, grabbing his brother gently by the arm. "Calm down, I'm alright."

" **No**." Sans stated gravely. "She said we had no clue who we were dealing with but its clear its **her** who needs to know."

His hands were hard and pressing painfully and they felt like they were burning against her skin as she stared wide eyes and terrified as the yellow magic lingered in his left eye.

"Listen here, **_pet_**." He began. "Let me give you some facts about your current and final reality. Do you know what you are? Do you? Nothing. Nothing but the **_toy_** my brother bought me. A fuck toy and that is the only thing you're here for. Nothing else. To fuck and to break and give us a fun time doing it. And when you're no longer useful, you're not even that. So you know what you really are?"

The tears were growing again in the back of Chara's eyes but she dared to glare and Sans was smiling again but it was cruel and twisted and not at all happy.

"Do you **know** what you're dealing with? Because when it is all said and done you are not a slave. We're not your masters. We are the monsters who are going to kill you. This is your yellow mile and _we're_ your **executioners**."

Sans released Chara's face but did not back away.

"You're nothing but **EXP**." His hands gripped at the skin on her chest painfully and Chara tried to pull his hands away as she yelped. "Soft, squishy, _fuckable_ **EXP**."

He dug his fingers into the skin, threatening to draw blood.

"And tonight? I was going to be merciful with you being so pitiful. I was going to have my brother fuck you and maybe spend another half hour here, but you know what the three of us are going to do now? The two of us here, my brother and I. We're going to keep fucking you until you can't move or think straight. Until it hurts too much to walk at all. And you're going to spend all night and all morning with those wounds. Because that is how it is going to get drilled into your head. Rule one. Got that? Rule one... You **don't** touch my brother if you still want to live. You don't touch my brother. Nobody does."

He released her and sat back up, glaring down at her.

"I promised ya this doesn't end until you learn your lesson, until you fully _break_ , but I also promise you... if you break rule one again there will be **nothing** to save you. And you **keep in mind** that the only reason you're alive right now is because you're the gift _he_ bought me"

He pulled away from her, standing over her and Papyrus, she could see the magic in his ribcage, the flaring of his soul. And she didn't need to check him, not that she could with the collar, but she already knew. She recognized it in his expression.

Someone newly acquainted with LOVE. Someone still riding on its high. Someone volatile and unpredictable because everything about them was in the process of changing.

She'd been worried about Undyne, that relationship there. But here she was staring at the most frightening thing of all. A potential bomb.

There was a promise. This wasn't over until she quit, wasn't over yet-

But promises were so easily broken.

"Now.. Where were we? Oh. Right..." He was smiling but it wasn't happy or lighthearted in the slightest. And oh so cruel. "My brother was about to fuck you senseless while I watched. I think you owe him that, don't you?"

"I don't- owe either of you anything." She dared, even through the edging tears. Sans' magic flared again and he began to come closer again.

"Sans!" Papyrus lifted his hand, stopping his brother. "Don't let her get to you. You're giving her exactly what she wants."

Yes, because this was exactly what she wanted.

"Don't give her that victory. This is supposed to be _your_ treat. Don't let her ruin it for you. I'm fine." Sans' breathing was still quick and bitter and that yellow ring of magic in his eye flickered blue as he stared her down. "Besides, she'll get what's.... _coming_ to her."

Sans' fierce expression broke for a moment, a smile there even as he tried to make his face serious again. Chara's heart was racing in her chest.

Sans began to laugh a bit, leaning away from her again.

"Breaking out the puns for me."

"Only for you. And I mean it. Only."

"Heheheh. Yeah."

"But maybe we should take a break." Papyrus offered. Chara glanced up at him but then back to Sans. Sans was staring through her seriously again.

"No." He said. "She doesn't get a break tonight."

"I wasn't thinking about her."

"I don't need a break!"

"Well maybe I do." Sans watched his brother's face and Chara was sick to her stomach at how concerned both of them looked for the other. But she silently prayed for Papyrus to win. Somehow... if they continued now... Like this... "Alright, alright..... But only for you."

Sans got off the other side of the bed and Chara's eyes closed helplessly as he grabbed several of the ribbons from the floor and the gag. But also.. the relief. Though she knew it would not last.

It never lasted...

It only ever got worse.

But even still......

* * *

 

The brothers sat in the kitchen, Sans still completely naked, not bothering, and Papyrus in his boxers as he got into the fridge and pulled out two bottles of NPT-Brand Juice. Sans took his offered bottle and took a large swig as his brother sat down in the chair next to him, taking quiet sips.

"I'm sorry, Paps. I know I really freaked out back there..." Sans finally said after a few minutes. Papyrus looked up from his bottle. "Man, I haven't felt that angry in a long time. Not even in battle.... I don't know what came over me, but hearing ya scream like that, I just couldn't help it. The idea that I asked for this and then you got hurt because of it..."

Papyrus put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I understand, Sans. But it is alright. She can't do anything to either of us."

"Yeah. I know. But Alphys said somethin' the other day. About not underestimating a human. And I did it almost right away. If she'd done it to me, I think I would have just laughed it off, been smarter. But it being you she got a hold of."

"Sans, we are fine. Just focus on yourself. This is pointless if you're not enjoying yourself. Just do as you said. Laugh it off and we'll both be smarter about it."

"I know, its just.... she really did _socket_ to ya didn't she?" Papyrus smiled, the pun abhorrent and his socket still flickering with occasional pain, though receding with each sip. "But yeah. Yeah, we're going to go back in there and have fun with it."

Papyrus offered the side of his bottle and Sans hit it with his in a sort of toast.

"To giving it to her the _hard_ way." Papyrus shook his head in disappointment. "Heh. You're still smiling though."

"I know and I hate it."

"Nah you don't."

"But I do wonder if me taking her is such a good idea." Papyrus began again. Sans raised a brow.

"I told ya, it doesn't matter in the end. Especially now. You **wreck** her, bro."

"That is my fear." Papyrus stated. "Just that, if I do have a turn at her, my fear of ruining her for you was not in the physical sense."

"Yeah?" Sans asked with a falsely warning tone.

"Are you sure you want her to know just how terrible you really are? I am The Great Papyrus you know?" Sans laughed again, loudly.

"You can try, Paps." Sans stated. "But by the time I'm through with her I'm going to have her on her knees taking my cock and begging. What was that thing you called me earlier?" He leaned forward against the table, his expression mocking with a high pitched voice. "O m'lord, take me, please! M'lord!" Papyrus pushed his brother's face and forced him off of the table.

"I doubt that will happen."

"Heh. Give it time." Sans told him. Papyrus hummed.

"I don't doubt she'll break but in that way... She'll beg for you to stop before she ever gives in that way." Sans took another sip of juice.

"Well..." Sans stated with a cruel smile. "Make her want to die strong enough..."

Papyrus watched the ideas working through his brother's head. The joy and excitement returning and Papyrus was truly relieved.

"But are you okay with what I said back there? I know playing it rough isn't your sort of thing." Sans continued. "If you want to play all gentle with her that's fine too. As long as you're getting what you want out of it."

"It is fine, brother. It shall be a new experience!"

And besides. He could remember the violent thrusts into the back of her throat, the struggle and choking against him. Not needing to think about being careful for once or the violent creature's well being even other than to not accidentally kill her and ruin San's fun. If that had been a small taste of what was to come-

Taste.... come...., Papyrus smirked to himself, thankful Sans could not read his mind. But now Papyrus could almost fully understand what Sans got out of such a fight. Such dominance. It was strange but liberating in a weird, empowering way.

And besides, if that was what Sans wanted to do tonight he was up for the challenge!

"All right, Paps!" Sans half cheered.

"So.. Do you think I got you a decent enough toy? Even if she is quite pitiful in some ways and at the same time a bit of the worse."

"Psh. All humans are the worst, Paps. But that doesn't matter. What matters to me is that you got her for me. What matters is that we're here...... and we've come far enough to have even more than we even dreamed." Papyrus' smile widened.

Yes. They had. Because all Papyrus had ever dreamed was to make sure his brother was happy even as his brother pushed himself beyond reason to achieve all of this.

"I'm glad we took this break though. I feel a lot better." Papyrus patted Sans on the back.

"Then let's get going shall we? It is time to go fight a dangerous human." Sans laughed.

"Together right?" Papyrus nodded.

"Together."

　

* * *

 

Chara's heart nearly jumped out of her chest as the brother's reappeared in the door of Sans' room. She'd been able to hear the intonations of their voices in the kitchen, the laughter even, and it only increased her fear seeing their faces again.

She pulled on the binds at her wrists, keeping her tied to the head of the bed. And Sans laughed, light hearted and fun as he came back closer. Leering at her. But Chara couldn't get the image of his anger out of her head. The feeling of his intent and the LOVE in his soul.

"Break times over, Chara." He laid down beside her, placing a hand on her heaving chest as she breathed through her nose. "Are you ready?" Her entire body was sore and aching and it really was all about to get worse. "No? Good."

Sans looked back over towards the foot of the bed and Chara dared to follow. Regretting it. Papyrus stood there, taking off his boxers again. The orange ecto-flesh still there even as it glowed less brightly, less erect then before. That would change. And it made Chara's stomach twist.

"Now my brother. He's a nice guy. What I said before is true. Woulda had him take you and maybe let you go after a bit more of fun. He would have taken ya gentle even. Now. Not so much."

Chara didn't dare release a fearful whine but she couldn't help but tense as Papyrus bent his knee against the bed and began to crawl over the mattress towards her.

"And like I already told you... We're not gonna stop there. And I'm kinda curious if I'm honest. I only know a few things about humans. That their sick and twisted. But you know what I never learned?"

Papyrus was beginning to masturbate, looming over her. Chara bit down against the gag, the tears stinging in the back of her eyes. She couldn't stop the fear as Papyrus loomed over her. So much bigger than his brother in everyway.

So much bigger than her.....

"I've never learned how many times a human can cum. You know what that is right? That thing you've done twice now. Remember? Also that thing Papyrus did. In your mouth. Remember that taste? That liquid?" Chara was glaring into Sans' eyes, though what she truly wanted was to close her eyes. Disappear. Sans tsked and shook his head. "No answer? Well. You'll know what it is by the end anyways if you don't already."

Sans turned his attention back to his brother and Chara finally closed her eyes.

"You ready there Paps?"

"Hn-"

"I'll take that as a yes." Sans dug his fingertips harder against Chara's chest and she opened her eyes to keep glaring....

But all Sans could see was the fear underneath.

"I warned you... pet." Sans whispered. "You weren't going to like what happens next.. You should have tried to enjoy it while you could."

Chara closed her eyes again as Papyrus began to shift more forward. But her mind was latching on to one thing. One word over and over. A word that meant something, a lot of things, only to her even if it would somehow slip.


	13. The New Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last gratuitous, detailed not really plot smut for a bit. Chara is in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what I'm doing. But it is still okay. At least until it isn't.  
> Also how to title things?

"There, just like that Paps. Don't slow down." The girl was screaming through the gag as Papyrus continued to thrust violently, each one sending him deeper and deeper even as her small body did everything to protest. As she convulsed in agony beneath him, the muscles in her abdomen squeezing and her hips moving as the pain worked its way through her.

Papyrus' left hand was on her hip, keeping her secure against him as best as he could while he supported himself with his right elbow that he kept close to her face, angling his body so he could thrust into her and still see her struggling face. The headboard of the bed shook as she tried to yank her arms downward. It was like she was trying to curl up into an agonized little ball but was stuck straight.

And she was so tight- And not as wet as she had been when he had been working his fingers into her. The break they had taken had only served to cause her more pain as the two men had done nothing to prepare her for his entrance.

Papyrus wasn't even in entirely but already he could feel the magic in his eye sockets rolling and he struggled to breathe in twisting pleasure. Even as the girl twisted in continued agony.

Papyrus was one to take it slow. Tender pseudo-kisses up his partner's body. Their hands working in unison to touch the other person. But this was different. The time for tender kisses over. This was brute strength and even with it being new, once again, it was exhilarating. Especially as his brother cheered him on, almost as if it was a game Papyrus was close to winning-

"Deeper, Paps, deeper! You're almost all the way in."

Papyrus gasped with each thrust, and his bones burned at almost embarrassed by how quickly he had lost his composure but at the same time he did not stop. Thrusting in, pulling almost entirely out, only to thrust in again, deeper.

The girl was crying again.

But her screams had stopped, a strangled choking sound replacing it as Papyrus continued to work thoroughly. Each thrust was starting to move her entire body, the entire bed.

"Oh, hey now. Woah, woah-" Sans said, he reached between the two of them, slapping the girl's face and bringing her eyes back into focus. "Can't be passing out too soon, wake up sweetheart-"

She screamed loudly as Papyrus found her cervix.

"Shit-" He breathed, a wave of panic through him, rushing through him intertwined with the pleasure. Sans was laughing though, and after a moment of rapid thinking it was okay, over and over, Papyrus got back into the rhythm of his thrusts. "Sweet- Tor- She's too small."

"Haha. Feels good doesn't it? Tight and fleshy and driving you _fucking_ crazy." Sans stated from the side, Papyrus could hear the struggle in his voice. He had begun to masturbate as he watched the girl's expression.

She was shaking her head, making it more difficult for him to see, trying to roll her face as best she could away from Sans. But she couldn't rest, there was too much pain, her head and arms moving even as her lower half was trapped.

Papyrus knew he was deep, too deep. But it felt so good. Even as he wasn't sure he liked how much she could flail underneath him.  
And this position he was in... It would not stay comfortable.

"Cut-" He began, but couldn't finish. But Sans understood, forming a sharpened bone and cutting the line of ribbon keeping her left hand attached to the head board before freeing the right one as well.. Immediately, the girl was pushing against Papyrus' chest, trying to get him away from her- But her head rolled back against the mattress, the pain and stimulation causing her to be able to do even less.

"Should we take out the gag?" Sans asked as Papyrus grunted.

"Wouldn't- want to.. disturb the neighbors." Papyrus managed, trying to smile in a joke. Sans snickered.

"Nobody is going to be coming but us," He said, despite the pun already having been used and Papyrus knew it would be used again. Many, many times. But to be fair, so would she.

Papyrus grabbed the girl's wrists, ribbons still tied tightly around and stray threads dangling against her skin. He pulled her up as he sat back on the bed, forcing her to sit in his lap, his cock still buried deep as she screamed again, biting down against the gag. He wouldn't be able to thrust in and out completely this way, but he could see her face no matter what, and it was still so very pleasurable. And painful... for her.

Papyrus released her wrists and trailed his arms up her back. Remembering how it had felt back in the prison, having her helplessly pressed against him, her face forced upwards. She was gripping at his ribs again, tightly, as if she could break them. She was tense and pressing her forehead against him as he used her weight against her. Used her weight to keep her impaled around him as he rolled his hips in quick succession, forcing her to ride him. He grabbed the back of her neck, forcing her to lift her head back and stare up at him.

Her expression was miserable and broken, the gag keeping her mouth open and saliva starting to trail down her chin as through the pain the forced pleasure was returning. That gag and the grip of his ribs was the only things there to physically ground her. A saving grace in disguise, Papyrus reasoned. Keeping her from begging. Keeping her alive for just a bit longer.  
Papyrus bent forward and pulled her up a bit, pressing his teeth into her cheek, still so surprised at how soft she was. Soft and yet hard; her own bones beneath everything that made her soft helping to keep her form. The sensation of having her hips against his was sending his magic racing.. But it made him wonder how something so similar to him could still be so different.  
He let his mind fall back a bit as he closed his eyes; keeping his face up against hers. He could feel the pulse of her frightened and pained soul above them and the racing pulse of her heart. But he could feel that something had changed. For the moment, there were no longer soft silent pleas. Something else. Like a chant evenly set through her. Perhaps something to remind her how to stay determined.

But she was choking again against the gag and Papyrus lifted his hand to the back of it, to the clasp, and undid it.

There was a deep, pained and breathy whine as her insides clenched around him and the gag was removed. Papyrus felt Sans take it from him, only to drop it to the floor.

"Oops." He said. Clearly aware of the same realization both Papyrus and the girl had. And now her one grace was gone.

No. No it wasn't her only grace. There was that chant through her soul still that Papyrus could feel. Stronger now. Stronger as she screwed her eyes shut and held his bones tighter. Papyrus continued to move. She was giving off sharp intakes of breath, and he could see that she was going to pass out again in her prolonged inability to breathe. But Papyrus was climaxing, the sensation ripping through him and causing him to be unable to move as the warm liquid filled her, causing her to cry out. More tears streaming across her cheeks.

Sans was laughing again.

"Keep going, Paps. Force her to finish." Papyrus didn't think it would be so easy. He suspected he would cum again before she did. Though her expression was more and more heated, her breathing more pant-like. It was interesting to him. How even with all of the pain, ones body would still betray like that. All her cries were simply half moans...

But he obeyed his brother, rolling his hips, though the pleasure he was feeling was almost too intense, tears lingering in the back of his own eyes.

And Sans shifted closer, pressing his teeth into her back.

The girl's eyes opened wide as she screamed, his brother biting down against her. Papyrus held her more tightly against him as her insides clenched around him. And Sans continued. Working his way across her rolling body, licking at her bleeding skin. And Papyrus couldn't keep his eyes focused enough to even be able to appreciate her pained expression.

He doesn't see her building climax until finally, her entire body went rigid and spasmed. Papyrus called out, thrusting faster as she came.... But he could not reach the edge for his own in time to ride hers out. But there would be time.

Sans had pulled away from her, putting a hand on her now bite reddened back, rubbing gently as she sobbed and Papyrus let her lean forward against his ribcage to hide her face. But even still... he could feel the chant from her Soul, unbroken.

"Aw, that's the expression of someone whose came thrice now." Sans comforted. "Hmm... hey, what _comes_ after thrice, anyway?" He leaned his face in close against her ear. "Wanna help me find out?"

Her aching body shook with a sob. She was weak and sore all over, every part of her in pain and intense waves of what wasn't even pleasure anymore, just stimulation and sensation. And her body was still clenching, reminding her as if she could forget about Papyrus stabbed through her. Papyrus kept a tired arm around her shoulder, keeping her in place, but he knew that she probably wouldn't have been able to move off of him even though she desperately wanted to.

Sans was smiling up at him over the top of the girl's messy hair. Papyrus laughed at his stupid, impatient expression and shook his head.

"Just let me... finish first." Papyrus stated with a grunt, and began to roll his hips.


	14. The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara can't tell if she is asleep or awake....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short thing to get the point across and the story back rolling.  
> Time finally moves forward

Darkness......

A part of her.... knew... she was in the closet. She could feel the ground beneath her as the darkness spun around her. It was painful against her skin. Everything was painful... Sore... Vaguely she is aware that she is bleeding.

And she can't tell when she is awake or when she is asleep, it all ran together. Her mind telling her, awake! Awake! Be aware.... And at the same time not to think about it. At the same time another part telling her she needed to rest. You must always rest.

Everything is in pain.

More than torture even, from the prison. Because that pain was always outside her, but this came from within. Something inside her.

She can still feel everything like phantoms across her skin. In each bruise and bite mark, in each aching muscle. The pain in the back of her throat. Her abdomen. Between her legs.

That expression, that expression, always that expression he said... Quice. Frice. Five times in a row. One for each finger.

Each finger...

Not even using her for their own pleasure anymore, just torture... Their fingers inside of her, forcing her...

It had been too intense. Her body hot and aching, her hips bucking, but it was too intense. Each moment of it painful, not even that terrible forced pleasure. And her mind had started to haze.

Don't pass out, now... He said.... Never allowing her to rest and now that she was in the darkness she still couldn't rest. She couldn't even think. Only feel it over her skin.

That expression... That was the expression of someone who's came seven times in a row.

Seven was supposed to be a lucky number.

Who knew, maybe she'd hit the jackpot....

And that number would multiply tenfold.

............ It was never going to stop. She had truly believed that, they were never going to stop.

(They had stopped, but it wouldn't be for forever, again and again, it was all she was there for. To fuck and to die)

And all she had was a word. A word in her head, over and over, and it wasn't even the full one anymore. Just reduced to a single syllable. Over and over.

That expression...

Expression of someone who's came seven times in a row.

No... Nine, sorry.

Or was it ten?

Ten...

The shiver of her skin in her half asleep mind as she stayed surrounded by darkness.

Ten.

Congrats! The big one-oh!

He was going to invite all his friends over for a big shindig. Her the life of the party. All have turns.... Sound nice? Have a few in mind. Oh don't cry.... Really much better than we are at these sorts of things. More practice.

She could barely hear him, every part of her soar and on fire and her mind too gone except for one word. The sensations ripping through her, that expression... A few of them right next to each other and a spark of terror. Something new to terrify her. The idea that there were still unknown things before her. All from her own body. All of her abused...

Well not every part of her, Sans had noted, running his hand over her backside, promising to be merciful for the night. To keep something to look forward to in the future. Besides... he didn't think she was conscious enough to really appreciate that.

Promising..... Mercy.... As his fingers worked into her and he laughed. Papyrus somewhere there like a shadow. Touching her skin somewhere, playing with her... Taking turns... Their fingers...

Everything hurts. She's bleeding, she knows. Her head hurt. Her stomach empty but not as much as it should- She wanted to throw up.

Their fingers inside of her.

That expression...

Eleven times, give or take. He didn't think he could keep track anymore, too many, some too close...

Count for me, ok?

Start from twelve.

That expression he was wearing.... She couldn't dare grace it with a description, even if her mind could have grasped anything but a single word she help close and guarded.

But that expression he was wearing... he really was a freak...

No... just a monster.... and she was a human... that was how it was supposed to be, wasn't it? This... That...

But it wasn't always like that, she knew that too, she knew....

 _Dreamer_ -

Dream..

She couldn't tell if she was awake or asleep. The darkness around her was spinning. Her mind grappling with memories it didn't want to hold.

Finally Sans had started to look tired.

Finally.....

Heh. Did you really think you could sleep?

Still couldn't rest, even in the darkness....

Everything hurt.

Everything except that repeated word.

And her soul.

Her soul finally there back inside of her, burning, determined. Or at least she knew, she knew... she had to stay determined.

It was just pain. Only pain...

That was what she always thought after a round of torture. And that was what it was. Torture. Torture trying to grasp at her very self.

But that did not matter. Not even that mattered.......

It had mattered in the prison, when the only end was death. It did not matter here.

Only the end...

But its dark and she can't see and all she has is a dream.

Darkness....

You need to sleep, she knew.

Sleep....

The darkness was starting to stop its spinning.

But it wasn't sleep, it was simply her inability to stay awake any longer. (So she was awake........) 

And a small part of her is not sure she will wake up.

That forevermore there would only ever be this darkness...

 


	15. The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus unknowingly preaches to the choir....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where Papyrus truly has no clue what he is dealing with....

"Man, I am... so... tired..." Sans groaned, laying back in the bed, his body aching but it was a good ache. A good tired. Though he needed a shower, his sheets washed. But at the same time they'd just get dirty again soon enough.

Papyrus was laying down next to him, just as tired and aching after depositing the girl trembling, abused human into the closet and locking the door before returning to his brother's room.

"Alphys is going to give me so much crap... she told me specifically not to over do it."

"... It's well past midnight." Papyrus admitted.

"Well a little bit of a late night ain't so bad at times.."

"We get up at 6:45."

"I have no regrets.." Sans huffed. "Do you?"

"... I suppose not." Papyrus said, and he supposed not because despite being so tired his brother was smiling. "I can't... move anymore though..." Sans chuckled in response.

"My alarms.. set.. We can just sleep now." Papyrus groaned and let his eye sockets close.

Together like this kinda reminded him of back in the group home, often sharing the cot with his brother. Sometimes sore after an intense day of training-

Papyrus let the green healing magic flow out of him and he heard Sans groan in relief. It made Papyrus smile but at the same time... he'd noticed it before, but... something was different this time. It wasn't just his imagination. Something was different in his magic. But it was just barely there and all he had to do was let his mind focus on the healing in order to ignore it. It hadn't been the first time his magic had changed. It was just what happened when one began to grow stronger.

And Papyrus just let his magic flow as he drifted off into sleep...........

Only to wake up too soon with the grinding, whining sound of the alarm. But despite his tired body, he didn't feel as sore as he could have been. He could have felt better or worse.

Beside him, Sans groaned again, cracking his bones as he stretched. Papyrus followed suit, and the moment his back cracked he let out a relieved breath.

"Heh... Feels good the morning after right?"

"Hnn."

"Heheheheh. Just remember how awful the human has to be feeling."

The human girl.... Chara... He had already almost forgotten her in his half asleep mind. It was funny how that could happen. They had a supposedly dangerous human in their house and he had forgotten.

"Let's go check up on her shall we?" Papyrus stood up, still just in his boxers and feeling kinda gross. But Sans was right, he couldn't imagine how the human would feel.

Sans worked the bolt off of the closet door and opened it wide.

"Wakey wakey, Chara." The red eyes parted, her breathing thin as she stared up at them, no other response not even in the back of her eyes as she lay on her side. There were dark, growing bruises across her skin, teeth marks and dried blood and cum and saliva. She looked a wreck.

"We won't be able to keep her like this while we go to work." Papyrus decided nearly right away. Sans growled.

"Fine. Go ahead and pick her up." Papyrus bent down and the girl closed her eyes tightly as he reached out for her arm. She let out a weak hiss of pain as he pulled her up to her feet. But even as she stood there, he could feel that he was the only thing keeping her up and in place. She leaned against him, her hazed over gaze open again and staring at the ground. Sans leaned against her neck above the collar. The eyes narrowed again as her expression trembled and she tried to lift her shoulders to protect herself. In vain.

"Morning, pet. Did you sleep well? No?" Sans kissed her cheek even as she refused to respond. But perhaps her throat simply hurt too much or her body too weak to offer any quips. Sans pulled away. "I'm going to take my shower first." He hesitated, smirking at Chara. "Unless you want to join me, pet." Still no response. Sans only chuckled and made his way back to his room. Papyrus began to lead her towards the kitchen.

He noticed her eyes, despite hazed over and distant, were taking in all of the surroundings she hadn't been able to see the day before. Taking in everything of note, he supposed. Already her mind twisting with ideas, wasn't it?

"Sit down." He ordered. Though she really had not choice as he let go of her and her support fell through. She cried out softly in pain and immediately was leaning up against the table. He grabbed a clean washcloth and ran it under water before coming back and starting to go over her bare skin. She hissed in pain but didn't fight him. And as he went, Papyrus let the green healing magic race across her skin. The red eyes closed, she bit her lip. "This will have to do until I get home." He told her. "But you are lucky you are even getting this at the moment. So be thankful."

Still she said nothing and Papyrus could hear the water heater kicking on as his brother started his shower.

"Hmm. This would be easier closer to the sink." He gave in. He grabbed her by the arm again and forced her to stand, another pained hiss from her as she refused to look at him. He dragged her into the kitchen. He caught her glance at the refrigerator- oh.

Everyone was always complaining about thieves, the street children picking through the trash at night even.

"When was the last time you've eatin?" Even then she did not respond. Not even glare. Papyrus left her supporting herself with her arms against the island in the middle of the kitchen and made his way to the fridge, taking out the pan with last nights lasagna and cutting a slice. But he didn't bother heating it up, he slid the plate in front of her. He held out a fork. "You will behave." He warned. "I offer a reminder that you must eat to stay strong enough to get yourself out of this, correct?"

She took the fork, trying to pull it angrily but it was honestly a weak attempt. Papyrus continued to wash her down, running the cloth over her skin.

Chara looked down at the food in front of her, her mouth watering at the sight of it. It was even on a proper plate. She held the fork awkwardly, not sure of how she was supposed to hold it anymore. Holding it like a knife wasn't seeming to work quite right, so more like a spoon- But when she tried to twist it, she dropped it.

And she gasped sharply as Papyrus lifted the towel up between her legs and she jerked, trying to close them.

"Shhh." Papyrus said, pressing his other hand against her in order to steady her. She closed her eyes, breathing in as he continued. "Alright. That is all for now." He stood up, standing and putting a hand on her back, looking over her lack of progress at the food. "Now, now. We don't have all morning. Would you like to go back into the closet with nothing?"

No. No, she needed to eat. He was right. She hated him but he was right. A hunger strike was not something she could risk to do. She abandoned the fork though, using her shaking fingers to hold it. But the texture of the cold noodles made her cringe. And the moment she put it into her mouth.

Her entire body revolted. Immediately gagging.

And she could remember, the memory assaulting her from before. From before she had finally been allowed to rest. Sans' finger in her mouth, looking down at her smiling, her mind too much in a haze to stop him. To even bite down as he did what his brother had. The texture against her tongue, the pain in her throat as he forced-

Chara covered her mouth, gagging but now unable to stop it. Papyrus' hands her grabbing her shoulders forcefully and she found herself thrown against the side of the sink. She leaned over the side, heaving. Heaving as hard as she could, gross stomach acid and whatever was left from the night before coming up burning her already abused throat. And she wouldn't stop. She had to get it out. All of it. Every drop. But she couldn't get the memory out even as she had almost managed to have forgotten it before then. But she kept heaving until there was nothing left and then she kept going. Heaving as nothing more came out. Her back shook and the tears were starting to work their way down her cheeks again as she breathed in.

Papyrus' hand was in her hair, petting her gently as if to comfort....

It really was a pitiful display, he thought. And this once he allowed himself to pity her. Missing out on his finally perfected cooking like that.

"We shall try again later." He told her. Her hand reached up but Papyrus caught it. "And what are you trying to do?" Her head fell and she tried to spit into the sink... Ah. "I suppose." Papyrus turned on the sink and the girl leaned forward, letting it run across her lips. But even though she still couldn't manage to swallow, it helped get rid of the taste. But too soon, Papyrus turned off the water. "Better?"

She pushed up against the side of the sink, trying to stand up straight, but immediately she stopped, her eyes wide as they stared out the window. Papyrus followed her gaze.

The sun was rising up over the horizon in the distance, just past the foot of the mountain and the sky changing brilliant shades of red and pink.

The girl trembled but this time, something different was working through her, not a sob. Papyrus felt it against his gripping fingers against her shoulders and he looked back down at her peculiar expression.

"It's still there..." She tried.

Her voice was hoarse, broken, her throat too sore from the night before. The words struck him though, so raw and unintendedly vulnerable. As if she couldn't help herself... Papyrus caught himself staring and meant to hum in amusement and leave her to herself, but the girl was suddenly laughing... Weak and raspy as her shoulders came close to her neck, taking his hands with them, but she kept staring out the window.

"You know... about Ebott." It wasn't so much of a question. All knew about Mt. Ebott. The magical barrier. It was said a large group of humans had fled underground during one of the most violent periods of the war, right after the incident with the Royal family. The magical barrier one could enter but no one came out...

"The human haven." Papyrus mused aloud. The girl laughed weakly again.

"Ha... Haven.. The decision.. to be trapped but alive. I hated them." Papyrus raised a brow. Confused and yet impressed. Impressed she could manage to speak as clearly as she could, though to be fair it was still so broken. But confused at the open tone.. "I scorned them." She admitted. "And even, part- It's a trap to lure us. Has to be... Moment cross over. Nothing but death..."

Papyrus glanced back out the window. To the sun. To the mountain beside it in dark silhouette.

He had never thought of that possibility. There were talks about past raids on it. But the losses were always too grand.

No one ever came back out.

"Last night..." She continued. "Trying to break me..." Her eyes closed painfully. "Can't hide it.. Terrified."

Papyrus thought back to all the fear and terror, the panic even from her soul he had felt from her the night before. Just this morning. It was true. She could not hide it.... Her lack of control, her inability to fight but wanting to. Her intense human sense of self preservation-

Her hands though, they tightened their grip at the sides of the sink as she stared out across the reddened sky.

"But... It doesn't matter." She told him. "Doesn't.. Doesn't matter what you do.. or make me do.. If cry, even beg... Doesn't matter. Something can't take- from me. Pain, death, even dignity. Doesn't matter. None of it matters."

She had been ready to die the moment she had been captured. Ready and accepting. Dignity had stayed though. Her saving grace in the fight. That had mattered in the prison where the only possible end had been death. To keep herself in one piece to the very end. To hold on. But now...

"Doesn't..." She repeated, hoarse. "Doesn't matter..."

Papyrus shook his head, releasing her shoulders and leaving her alone against the sink.

Papyrus took the abandoned lasagna and putting it back into the fridge.

"Then what could there possibly be left to matter?" He asked.

He closed the fridge door and turned around. Only to jump back with a plate shattering across the floor at his feet. Magic raced through him, ready to fight. But the girl was standing as best she could, tall, even as it clearly still caused her pain. And she met his gaze. Her expression... something that had been missing before returning. Determined again. Strong. He felt the chant burning in her soul pulsing in her chest. Though it was no longer a chant. It was as if she was holding it tightly in her gripped fists. Her red eyes burned through him.

"Destroying all of you." Ah. Of course.

Papyrus hummed as he looked down at the shattered plate.

"Seems to be the case for all humans though, isn't it? Either hide away in your dark caverns to keep yourselves safe and alive or hold on to the surface so can keep fighting and destroying everything. Fight or flight. Kill or be killed. That is all there is to you."

Papyrus looked the girl over, standing completely naked and still bruised with shaking knees. And for once he truly, truly-

"I pity you.... lonely human." He told her and this time, he did not mean it in any way mocking. Her fierce stare fell in surprise, true surprise. "All of that fighting. And you cannot even comprehend all that there is to truly fight for."

"Love." Papyrus jolted at the sound of her voice.. before remembering there were two very different meanings to that word. He smiled sadly at her and shook his head.

"Yes but not the kind you're thinking of." The girl looked back out the window, the sun still rising... And he truly did pity her. But all Undyne and experience told him had made it very clear it was just the way she would always be. You couldn't teach a human to change, they only aimed to use you for their own gain... "And that is why you're here."

"..... Only idiots have people important to them. It only gets you into trouble." Papyrus breathed out what could have been a laugh if not so exasperated. He began to walk back towards her.

"Poor human, it is having people important to you that gets you out of it." Her fists squeezed, that soft chant through her one last time.

Papyrus grabbed her by the forearm again and he could see the dizzy spell sweep through the girl as he moved her back through the kitchen and to the closet door. He let her go, expecting a fight, but the girl sat down... or mostly... let herself fall... But she sat amongst the blanket and pillows he had put in there, and she looked up at him. Her eyes were tired but at the same time unflinching and staring directly into him even as he shut the door.. and locked her in.

"So where is she?" Sans asked when he came into the kitchen a few minutes later, fully dressed and ready.

"She is back in her little cell." Papyrus told him. "She would not cooperate very well."

"She broke a plate." Sans noticed. "Did she throw it at you?" His tone was warning. Papyrus shook his head.

"No. Only the ground. Though it cost her breakfast." Sans grunted.

"Good. But you going to go get ready?"

"In a bit... I am packing lunches." Sans leaned against the island, watching his brother cut two extra portions,

"Oh yeah, how's your little _fruwend_?" Papyrus smiled but gave a shrug.

"I have not seen them in a few days, but they have been better lately. Though they have been helping a sick friend. I thought they would appreciate some of my cooking."

"Heh.. Pack me an extra slice too. I'll give it to Alphys." Papyrus perked up excitedly.

"Of course! And I shall give her a slice to give to Undyne! She has been working extra hard lately. I am a little concerned if I am honest."

"Eh. I'm sure she's fine. She's got Alphys and you to keep track of her."

"Of course."

Yes. It was nice to have people to care about, important to you.

And Chara curled up in her semi-safe darkness. Her body aching and her insides still feeling as if cut, but at the same time... A single word in her mind. And determination.

Because only idiots dared to risk having people that were important to them....

And she was indeed an idiot.

But Papyrus had been right. They got you into trouble... but they were also what would get her out.

And they couldn't touch her.... not really..... Not as long as they couldn't touch him.


	16. The Pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is friendly conversations. Showers. Forks. Two demons sitting at a table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the author just lets the characters do whatever the fuck they want.  
> Except Chara.  
> Because she would have everyone else already turned to dust.  
> She needs a hug

"Heeheehee. Somebody looks tired." Alphys gloated as Sans walked towards her, motorcycle helmet still wrapped beneath his arm. He had expected this though. Her being here first thing in the morning. She leaned up against the locker beside his and tilted her head. "So... when did you go to bed?"

"Let's not answer that question."

"I told you not to stay up so late." Sans opened his own locker and began to put in his own things for the day. "But I suppose you deserved a bit of fun. Just keep in mind how fun it is as the day goes on. You have to handle these things with... grace." Sans laughed.

"There was absolutely no grace last night. But oh maan, no wonder you guys do it." Alphys hummed.

"We haven't really done that in a long time."

"Huh? Why not?"

She smiled widely, knowingly.

"Because... we prefer to be doing it to each other."

Sans dropped his helmet onto the ground, a deep blue blush flooding his system. And Alphys LAUGHED. And she didn't stop, tears in her eyes.

"Hahaha! Oh my g-god! You spent all yesterday afternoon being nasty and you can still make a face like that!! Hahahaha!!" Sans did his best to clear his non-existent throat, and rolled his shoulders.

"Well I haven't checked in yet. You caught me.. off guard." Alphys gave another round of loud laughter.

"A royal guardsman is never off the clock! Remember that!" She said after settling down. "Especially captains like us." Sans closed his locket and straightened out his gloves. But he was smiling again.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, boss."

"But while we've still got time...." She leaned in closer. "Details. Did you use any of the things I gave you?" Sans pulled out his phone.

"No, we didn't, but there's still plenty of time ain't there. I'm thinking that'll be more for punishments. But- Oh right. I forgot, I was gonna take a picture for you but didn't. I'll have something tomorrow." Alphys raised a brow.

"Or.. I could swing by tonight. I can't stay though, but just to see if its really worth your time."

"Trust me, I think she is." Alphys hummed a small, questioning, oh. Her interest peaked again. "She's an idiot." Sans admitted. "She has absolutely no chance in hell but she'll still fight. And she's not smart enough to beg and just let it be over. She seems to be willing to do anything to keep this game prolonged. But at the same time knows she is in way over her head even though before last night she had no clue what she was getting into."

"Wait... He got you a virgin?" Sans laughed and nodded.

"She's definitely not one anymore. Not by a long shot. We were going to go easy on her but she uh.... well let's just say I don't think she'll give Papyrus much trouble now..."

"Ha.. She did something I take it and you went all protective brother on her." Sans shrugged, not even embarrassed.

"Eeeeh... But like I said, there ain't much she can do to begin with. It's just the spirit that counts. She wants to do something. Even when she's overstimulated and basically falling apart, she still wants to do something."

"Heehee. Well it should be good for you to have something to dig into without actually getting a lot more LOVE. Or at least, it'll be more controlled for you."

"Hn, yeah, whatever." Her eyes narrowed and she smacked him upside the head. "-Ow."

"Just remember to be careful. That's all I can say. Especially since you're keeping it long term. For this sorta thing Undyne and I only ever had a 'em a day or two."

"I'll bet."

"Well! We recycled." Sans lifted a brow.

"Yeah and how is that supposed to mean? Send them back to where ya got em? Undyne take them to the labs?"

"I'm not sure what Undyne did. I don't ask about a lot of her stuff."

"Papyrus says she has been working extra hard lately- OH! He gave me lasagna for you to give her! Look, look at this!" Sans reopened his locker and got out his lunch cooler. "He did it! Absolutely perfect." He told her as he handed out the container. "Look at that cheesy, saucy goodness. And my brother made it! Stick a finger in it! Taste the greatness!" Alphys smiled and obeyed, licking it off of her finger.

"Mmmm."

"Fucking _great_. But ya gotta wait for lunch for the rest of it." He closed it again, sealing the lid tightly and putting it back into its cooler.

"We have a fridge you know, right?"

"Yeah. A community fridge. I don't trust 'em. Like shit am I losing the first perfected thing my brother's made. Fuck that. Fuck it." But he paused, catching her soft expression. "What is that disgustingly affectionate look for?" Her smile widened.

"The way you love your brother is the sweetest thing. I'm still so....."

Surprised?

"....It just makes me happy that it can stay like that. Even after everything this war throws at us. And how a lot of people's families turn out."

"Yeah, well. That's their loss not mine. Paps is the coolest thing out there, fuck them."

"But speaking about Papyrus... how is he feeling about the human thing? He was really concerned in getting one just right for you but I could tell he wasn't thinking much about himself. As it seems to always be in regards to the two of you."

"Yeah. He was a little less enthusiastic about it. At least in the actual human sense. Though he did enjoy himself. I think he liked to watch. And he likes how she feels. But you know he is kind of a romantic soul at heart with something like that. But he's always wanted a pet. So..." Alphys frowned.

"Don't you guys.... have... a pet?" Sans laughed, but it wasn't at all amused.

"You have made the potentially fatal mistake in thinking that that thing is in fact not some ancient vengeful god in disguised that could end the war and all life as we know it with a flick of its tail." Alphys shook her head.

"Aren't you exaggerating _just_ a bit?"

"No."

"Then why do you let it hang out around your house?"

"Did you just not hear the vengeful god thing? Besides... I love that stupid thing. But point still stands."

"I'm not sure there was a point there to begin with."

"Point: not a pet." She hummed in understanding.

"But is the human really a pet either?" Sans shook his head.

"No, but definitely closer to it." Alphys still thought he was being dramatic.

"Well, either way. We've got work to do so I guess we can't stand here all day."

"Nope!"

The two of them began to make their ways away from the lockers.

"But I do want to swing by tonight and check this human out." Sans shrugged but his expression was giving away just how excited that was making him too.

"Well then, I suppose I will have to hold back and make sure she's still presentable by the time you get there." Alphys scrunched up her nose.

"This really is the only thing you're going to be thinking about the next week or so isn't it... But damn, just remember to get out of the house a bit still too! Or I don't know. Work on something in your workshop."

"Nah." Alphys only laughed a bit to herself and shook her head, but she wrapped her arm around his shoulders before he could escape. "Oh shit- no-!" She was digging her knuckles against his skull.

"If you're going to be such a knuckle head-"

"No noogies! Stop! Ack!" Sans mock-begged. "I've a reputation!"

"APPRECIATE MY PUN, SOLDIER!" She ordered, rubbing her knuckles harder.

"Yes, sir!" Sans cried. She released him and he groaned as he pretended to fix his hair.

"Now that is better." She told him.

"Ow that actually kinda hurt." He admitted.

"Well you've got some extra HP to _spare_ now, don't expect me to. And don't let me hear about you slacking just because you're tired!"

 

* * *

 

Papyrus walked his beat, his bag strapped over his shoulder and held tightly as he watched the edges of the streets. It really had been a few days since he had seen his friend and he'd been seeing them less often in general but it seemed that the small monster always made sure to check in at least once a week. Which Papyrus appreciated. But as Papyrus walked through the usual place they met it was becoming clear that today was probably not going to be the day they would turn up.

Papyrus tried not to feel too disappointed. He understood, especially since his friend also had friends who needed them. But now that Sans was no longer on the same beat as him Papyrus found himself finding his job less..... thrilling than it once had been. Seeing his friend was the best part.

But there was also the others he got to see and greet as he went along too. But he couldn't help notice that this was not technically part of his job.

But there were the Bunnies who owned a large portion of one particular street and their multitude of shops and also the café. Papyrus had to admit that he preferred Muffet's bar and café when it came to actually eating but hers was mostly out of the way and the atmosphere less... friendly. The spider-woman could drain the Gold out of like blood. But quicker. If you just gave her the chance...... Well.. not that Papyrus had blood to start but somehow the feeling remained.

Suffice to say he only went enough to keep up a friendly repertoire and to get new recipes to try out of her. He would have to swing by before heading home. To give her a slice of lasagna. To show her his hard work paying off.

But he supposed that meant she would still expect him to buy something. A few things.

Maybe he would wait.

He simply continued in his rounds, the day passing by without anything eventful. Two weeks and he already missed Sans' grumbling about it. But at the same time, he appreciated the calm. He really hoped they wouldn't be giving him a new partner though any time soon. For as much as he loved meeting new people, the risk of being stuck with someone intolerable and mocking outweighed the potential good. At least this way, alone, he didn't have to act to be like how anybody wanted him to be. He could just... be. It was relaxing. At least until he had to make his way back to the main center where everyone else was hours and hours later.

He straightened his back and walked confidently, that confidence his true armor.

"Oh hey, Papyrus!"

"Hey!"

"Oh yes, hello." He greeted back but didn't get any closer, knowing from experience the two monsters were not truly interested in him but only what he could give them. That was how it was for most people there. But he supposed he was no different...

Perhaps he should go to Muffet's after work...

But he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Going home, Papyrus?" Somebody else asked.

"How's Sans? Enjoying his promotion?"

"He is well, he is very happy."

"Oh good! Tell him we said hi and to not forget us all now!"

"Yes, I will." But he wouldn't. Perhaps if he knew they truly meant it. But they didn't."

And he exchanged his report with the Whimsalot that replaced him most days for the late afternoon shift. Nothing new. Nearly always nothing new. And Whimsalot would spin its weapon around, anxious for that to change as it shook its head dismissively.

And with that Papyrus was free and heading back to the car, letting himself unwind and relax during the drive. And as he neared the house he perked up, knowing he would be alone with the human again.

"Mr. Skeleton." Papyrus froze as he stood beside the car before putting on his brightest smile and turning towards the road. There stood his neighbor, the mother of his young children friends. But she looked much less friendly. Even more than usual. Her reptilian skin seemed callous and her eyes hard and honestly frightening. "My children told me that you have a human in your house."

Ah, here it was.

"Yes, ma'am. A slave. She is confined and perfectly harmless as she is. I assure you that there is nothing to worry about."

"Of course. Nothing to worry about." She grumbled.

"I understand your worries, ma'am." And he truly did. "The children were overly excited I will admit."

"Human slaves are disgusting. They should not be able to live if caught. I don't care about the arguments that they are harmless and that the potential financial benefits. You can't assure that they are entirely trained and not just laying in wait to trick you. Remember that, Mr. Skeleton." But then she sighed. "I know you and your brother are so good with my children. It surprises me and I do appreciate it. But it is different this time. And while I cannot do anything but express my concerns and dislike for the situation, please take them into account. And unfortunately, I know the children will not rest until they get to see it. So when you do eventually showcase the despicable thing to them, I trust that you will take _every_ precautions? Yes?"

"Every, ma'am." She nodded.

"I will hold you to that. You and your brother." She began to leave. "That is all I have to say. But just because I came off harsh I hope you understand that it had to come out."

"I do." Papyrus called. "And I would expect nothing less."

"Thank you, Mr. Skeleton."

"Please... We have been neighbors for a year now. It is Papyrus." She paused and smiled lightly for him.

"Thank you, Papyrus." And then she left. And Papyrus felt genuinely happy. It was the ones who were honest and up front about what they wanted that Papyrus always appreciated most. And he truly did understand her concerns....

He entered the house and even though he didn't want to admit it, he made a beeline for the human's closet door. But he hesitated to unlock it.. He should have drawn this out, let her know he was coming and keep her tense and waiting. That was what he should have done. But it was too late now. Papyrus unlocked the door and opened it wide.

The girl was on her side again, her eyes opened and he could tell that... for all the healing he had given her that morning it still had not been enough. She was still in incredible pain. The healing green magic had only given her a small reprieve and pick me up before the exhaustion and pain had recaught up with her. But to be fair, she had now had all day to sleep. Even if it had probably been difficult with the pain throughout her body.

He had thought that he would have been able to just heal her himself but he was starting to suspect that this would get tedious everyday and not at all work like he thought it should.

"Sit up." He ordered though he already knew it was futile for several reasons.

"No..." She whispered. But her voice was near gone... And Papyrus knew that she couldn't sit up by herself even if she wanted too. Papyrus hummed and bent down. The girl closed her eyes tightly and grit her teeth as he put his arms beneath her and lifted her up. It still surprised him at how easy it was to man handle her.... And surprised at how soft she was.... How similar yet different...

She had no choice but to rest her head against his chest, her eyes half-lidded.

He set her down into the bath and turned on the water to let it run. She flinched at the cold water on her feet as Papyrus sat down on the edge, keeping his finger there to test the water as it ran.

"I think a bath should be better for today." He told her. She rested her head back, unable to move as the water began to turn warm and he turned the lever to stop it from running down the drain. He stood up and began to make his way towards the door. "Stay there won't you?"

She did not respond as he left her. He made his way to the kitchen to put away the food he had not had the chance to give away like he had meant. Still a bit disappointed. He say the girl's plate from the morning and paused. Ah, right. Humans ate, too. Right. Powerful, brutal souls but still needing to eat. The error of having such a fleshy body with low levels of magic if it had any at all.

He took two drinks from the fridge and made his way back to the bathroom.

The girl had her eyes closed but he could still see the pain in her expression. He bent down beside the bath again and put the bottles on the floor before reaching out with his hands glowing green. She flinched as he touched her neck but he could tell he was doing her best to remain perfectly still. Either to not show him her fear or to not aggravate the wounds, he wasn't sure. Perhaps a little bit of both.

Papyrus kept one hand on her throat as he ran water over her skin with the other. Her skin was tender and discolored and she kept her lips pressed as he touched her. Letting more healing magic race through her. He could feel her soul in her chest more acutely like this.

He pressed her neck more tightly against the wall as he slipped his other hand between her legs. She tried to jerk, lifting her hands to grasped at the hand against her neck so she could move, but Papyrus held her firm as he slipped two fingers inside of her. She took in a sharp, incredibly pained breath even as Papyrus flooded her with healing magic.

"Why fight?" He asked seriously. "I am only helping you."

"You're just preparing me- so you can use me again-" She told him through her teeth. Her voice was sharp with the pain. If her eyes were open he supposed there would have been tears in the back of her eyes that she could not stop other than keeping her eyes closed.

"True." He acknowledged. It was why she wasn't getting one of the tablets... Even though he knew he would not be able to heal her entirely. She would have to deal with a little more pain. But she had told him very clearly that it did not matter to her.... So...

He pulled out his fingers and stopped the water finally. Then he continued to run the water over her skin. He took soap and began to clean her skin even as he healed her. He had to stop a few times to take a drink, to help replenish his magic.

"Here." He finally said, taking the other bottle and offering it to her. She opened her eyes, staring at it before finally lifting her shaking fingers and taking it. He watched as she took of the cap, a sure sign of progress. Another sign was her slowly lifting it to her lips. He watched her hesitate but then took a small sip. The red eyes closed as she swallowed, trying her hardest to keep it down. She had to keep it down. And it would also help to heal her without his constant prodding.

She forced herself to keep taking in sips..... Her head was killing her... She knew she was more than a bit dehydrated. And starving... But with each sips she just wanted to gag- She took a deep breath and began to chug it down. Quick. Anything else was just dragging it out.

It probably wasn't her brightest idea ever. But it was her idea at least.

She held her breath once she was done. Letting her stomach rebel inside of her. But it was monster made. Magic. Healing. Absorbing. She just had to wait it out as it was completely absorbed.

She didn't want to think about... about what they had forced her to swallow in the bed. It being magic.... If it followed the same rules. It only made her want to cry again as she hugged the bottle against her chest. Feeling Papyrus not let up in working his fingers over her.

Papyrus lingered on her chest, in part because his brother had bitten down aggressively but also because of the feeling. It had been soft, it was growing softer. But he was starting to notice how her skin changed with the injuries. The green-like patches were no longer soft. The black and blue tender. The red scabs callous. And all of it disappeared with the magic. As if he was just wiping it away with the water. But not fully... There was still a tender touch beneath her skin. Lingering pain. And he was holding out to heal the most important part even more thoroughly.

The girl tensed again as he once again put his hand between her legs. She squeezed her thighs shut around it and Papyrus put his free hand through her hair. Her hair was still dry on top but underneath and around the base of her neck it was wet. That contrast.... Papyrus ran his fingers through them, petting her as she kept her arms crossed and crushing the bottle as he re-entered. Slowly, he continued to pressed deeper. Getting all that he could.

The girl's body shook and he watched her suppress a sob trying to rise up from her chest. This time he knew for sure it was from both the pain and the shame... Papyrus gave another twist of her hair through his fingers.

"I thought it did not matter." He said gently. A tear was in the corner of her eye, starting to trail down. He caught it with his thumb and dragged it away.

"Doesn't." She managed. And he could feel from her soul that it was true. Or at least, she thought it was true. But that did not stop her body from responding from what she was feeling.

He pulled his fingers out, this time for good. Well.... For healing and for the night. The water was no longer clear. Soap and grim and tints of red as he let it drain. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his fingers re-digging through her hair and pulling her against his chest.

"Very good girl." He told her as she tried to stifle the tears and catch her breath. "Now, let's stand up."

"No." She said, and this time it was only in defiance. He pulled her Soul from her chest and she pressed her eyes closed as he lifted her up both with his arms around her and the pull on her Soul.

Her Soul was vibrant and resilient and he could feel that gentle pulse within her. That remaining chant. It seemed she had found the thing to center her after all. Though he supposed it really was the desire to destroy him and his brother. And nearly anybody else.

"Let us get the rest of that grim off of you." The blood. The cum that lingered in the watery slim against her skin. He released her and moved back to the front of the shower and turned it on. She flinched, the water cold against her skin and making it difficult to breath. But as the water warmed, she began to relax........ Papyrus turned the water back to cold and watched her tense. He smiled in amusement before turning it back closer to warm. "Will you be as good as you were yesterday?" He asked.

She threw the empty bottle she was still holding right at his face. It bounced off of him harmlessly and he tilted his head.

"Shut up.." She murmured, turning her face away from him. Papyrus only continued to smile as he began to put shampoo into her hair, cleaning every bit of her that he could. And she did not fight.

Papyrus somehow assumed that this would be the easiest part when handling her. The cleaning. Because even as he handled her, the desire to be rid of everything else would always remain. He sprayed her down, rinsing everything off as she kept her eyes shut and her body unmoving.

"You know, you could have felt better sooner if you had just accepted my brother's offer to shower with him."

"I hate you....."

Yes, he supposed she did. But she had hated him the moment she had laid eyes on him. Even before that. Any and all monsters she would hate. Even her own kind.

"And I will only have to keep reminding you that this is why you are here."

"I hate you..." She repeated it, and meant it in her Soul. And he only appreciated that at least she was honest.

He gave her the towel and walked her through the house, leading her into the dining room and setting her down as he turned her Soul even heavier. She was forced to stay sitting in the chair as he made his way into the kitchen and pulled out her leftover plate. It was dried out but it would have to do for her. She should have eaten it while it was still quality. He set it down in front of her along with his half finished bottle of NPT-Juice.

"Or are you going to throw that at me as well?" He asked. She shrugged but focused on the food. She picked up the fork, still seeming uncertain, thinking. "You are looking at that fork as if you are not sure how to use it."

She put her elbow against the table, digging her own fingers into her wet hair as she kept her face turned downwards. She held the fork straight in her fist and twisted her hand to point it downward in what was probably the most uncomfortable manner Papyrus had ever seen- Oh.

He came up beside her and tried to take her wrist as gently as he could. She pulled away in anger, letting out a growl.

"Don't touch me!" She snapped. He pressed more tightly against her Soul and she hissed as she let go of the fork entirely. But still, she pulled the plate away from him and angled her back towards him. "Just leave me alone! I'll use my fingers."

"Human, it is very simple." He told her. He grabbed the fork and did his best to put it in her face. "Hold it like this. Like a pencil almost- well..." He supposed she wouldn't know about that either. But she stared at his fingers and dared to look up at him. Well, her eyes. "Human, we may be enemies and I assure you, you will find yourself humiliated in many different ways. But in eating my cooking I shall not have you forced to eating with your fingers. My dish deserves better than that. If you do not wish for me to show you, fine. But please at least take the time to think this through." She looked back down but grabbed to fork forcefully from his hand.

She hesitated though... before twisting the fork and holding it like a pencil in her fingers. It seemed that had meant something to her after all. She stared at the lasagna... She rotated the fork in her fingers so the prongs were pointing downward and stabbed into it.

"There. I did not think using silverware could ever be such a hassle."

"Shut up..." She whispered, this time much more softly than all the times before..... She seemed as if she were going to cry. A burning, real shame in her chest. Papyrus pretended not to notice... But he did release her Soul from the blue magic. She paused before eating, watching the Soul return back into her chest. There was a pause... He could see her relief, but at the same time. "Am I supposed to say thank you?" She asked bitterly.

"Perhaps." Papyrus stated.

"Fuck you." She replied. But she froze as soon as she said it, her breathing caught in her chest.

"Later." He told her.

She kept the still uneatin bite in front of her balanced on the fork. But he could see it trembling. But she forced herself to put it in her mouth. He heard her gag, but still resisted as she chewed. Determined. Determined to eat. He watched her face, the way her eyes widened at the taste. She swallowed and despite the wave of disgust in her features, she quickly moved towards the second bite.

She looked nauseous and yet ravenous.

And she was. The constant fight with herself to eat and not throw up. The constant delight at the taste, despite it being dried, and the constant want to have nothing ever again in her mouth.

Such an almost unfair battle of wants and needs.

But she finished the slice and looked up at him, the back of her eyes hoping for more and he could see it. But she would dare not ask it. Papyrus came forward and took the plate from in front of her. She reluctantly held out the fork but he did not take it and walked towards the kitchen. When he came back two minutes later he found her waiting anxiously, disbelieving, as he put a second slice in front of her, this time heated up.

If she was going to wait patiently in her seat not moving an inch even with her soul in her chest and completely free to move... he would not deny her this one thing.

She hadn't eatin in over 24 hours after all.

"Careful." He ordered though. And she completely disregarded, trying to take a bite. But before even putting it into her mouth, just touching her tongue, she pulled back. Realizing his order perhaps had not just been yet another patronizing phrase. "You are lucky, human. You have arrived just in time to experience my first ever fully realized recipe."

She looked over towards him, seeming not to understand exactly what he meant. But she didn't seem to care as she blew on the slice in front of her and once again digging in, perhaps a bit too early but too impatient to truly, truly care. It seemed that with each bite, her desire for food was pushing back her need to gag more easily.

"Mmwar." The girl gasped and pulled the plate back as something black landed on the table across from her, its tail flicking aggressively as it seemed to glare at her.

"Ah." Papyrus came forward and raised a line of light blue bones between the cat and girl. This only caused the cat to protest loudly with a growl. The girl held the plate close, holding the fork out in front of her like a knife and her chest moving quickly. A fight was in the air. It did not matter that she had no intent. "Now how many times have I told you? Though I know you do not care... That the table is no place for you."

The cat all but snarled and lay down in protest against the table. Knowing Papyrus would dare not pick it up. Papyrus lowered the bone attacks and the girl glared at the cat. The cat glared back.

"Foob no fo youz." She whispered threateningly. Papyrus quickly turned his head away from the cat and stared at the girl with a mixed expression. She looked up at him and she lowered her threatening arm to stab back at the food as the plate rested against the front of her towel. She looked down again. "Shut up."

But he thought that this time perhaps it was to herself.

She took another bite, eating in silence until it was done. Papyrus took the plate from her, this time also taking the fork. She lowered her head in disappointment. But then ..she glanced over to the cat.

"So you have a cat." Papyrus glanced over to the black cat, its gold eyes piercing. "What's its name?"

"It doesn't have a name. It's just.. the cat. Namely, The Cat of Doom. It comes and goes as it pleases."

"... It's not your pet." Papyrus looked down at her, a new patronizing smile on his face.

"No. There is only one pet in this house, I assure you. And if you need a hint as to who it is, please look to see who is the one with the collar." She lowered her gaze... Knowing full well that she had walked right into his verbal snare once again. "But I suppose that perhaps if you really were to be a demon, it would still be your next of kin."

He said it, unaware that Chara had already labeled him one as well but was most certainly not any such thing.

Papyrus left her alone with the 'cat', praying he did not hear anything exploding into violence, but at the same time wanting to test....

Chara settled her chin down against the table, evening her red eyed glare.

"Hoi." She whispered mockingly. The cat... growled, tilting its chin downward, clearly wanting to pounce.

But there was the sound of a garage door opening, the grinding sound reaching into her very soul as she gasped and lifted her head. The cat got up and began to run towards it. Even as Chara stood up and began to take quick steps back away. Only for her arm to be caught by Papyrus.

"No-"

"Shhh." Papyrus started, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and putting it back into her hair as he held her tightly. She looked up at him, the panic setting in her chest. "It's just Sans home early." Papyrus stated.

As if that was not the reason why she was already starting to tremble.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chara does not care for these 'hugs' that aren't actually hugs.  
> Please stop touching her, she says.  
> "go die"
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah I don't know what I'm doing but it was interesting to write. Yay.


	17. The Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because we fight that doesn't mean.. we don't have our own fragile hearts..

The door opened and Chara watched a boney hand appear and pet the cat on the head. Her heart was pounding in her chest, wanting to be anywhere else. Because with just Papyrus there it still felt like she could fight. Both of them there. Both of them, and especially him, Sans... She'd been his gift... His... and she couldn't fight it. Her head still hurt, her entire body and between her legs, and she was still dehydrated and she wasn't ready, she willed the door to shut. For him to linger there with the cat.

She gripped the towel closer around her as best she could and she felt Papyrus squeeze his fingers against her skin for a moment, seeming almost... excited for his brother to come in and see the two of them.

Excited to get back to where they had left off the night before-

She cut it off from her mind, clinging to her worded shield and trying to keep her breath even as possible. It was all she could do. She could not hide her fear. No, not entirely. They had already seen it plain. But she could at least try to hold out with all of her strength.

But Sans was smiling as he entered the room, smiling so wide and vicious and devouring her with the lights in his eyes as he trailed up her trembling body as Papyrus held her tightly against him.

"Hey there, Paps." Sans said, turning his attention to his brother. "Seems like you've been busy since getting home."

"And you're home early." Papyrus noted. Sans stood in front of them, hands in his pockets as he gave a cruel smile. It was Chara's first time truly seeing Sans in any other position but over her. Even still, and despite being smaller than his brother, Sans was still a good head taller than her, and wider. Still she felt so small. Pressed up between the both of them and her movement constricted.

"Yeah, well, I think somebody was anxious for me to get home so I could properly prepare my pet ta meet her."

"Oh. Alphys is coming over?" The girl's red eyes opened WIDE. Any semblance of keeping her head about any of this shattered in a single word.

No-

No. No. No, no, no, no,nononono..

And Sans caught it, leering in to her face.

"Yeah. And it seems like our little pet here recognizes the name. I know. She's kinda a big deal. You should be honored. You're lucky. Not many humans get to face her without having their insides remain inside them. Though..." The lights in his eyes trailed down her body and Chara's panic only raced away from her control even more.. "I suppose that won't be entirely true will it. Eventually."

Chara grasped for her mental shield, the one thing she had. But the chant- The word echoed in her mind was only beginning to make it worse this time.

Her small semblance of support was shaking beneath her.

"But hey. What's the towel for Papyrus?" Sans asked, reaching for Chara's gripping hand. Chara pulled back in Papyrus' grip, but couldn't do anything more than that without letting go of the towel and giving Sans exactly what he wanted.

"She's wet." Sans chuckled.

"Shit, already? She must have really liked last night. Come here, pet.." Chara's knees gave out and she wasn't sure if it was intentional or not... But Papyrus was forced to bend down with a grunt as he readjusted for her near dead weight. "Heheheh."

Sans grabbed her hand regardless, her unable to escape, and yanked it violently away, ripping the towel off of her.

"Oh good job, Paps. You can barely see the bruises anymore."

"She will probably scream quite a bit though." Papyrus admitted.

Chara's mind was ignoring them though, they weren't the threat. They weren't even the threat. They couldn't touch her. But Alphys. Alphys-

Sans snapped in her face several times.

"Heya wanna come back over here, ya making me jealous already with that distant look ya got." He grabbed her face roughly and forced her to look up at him. "Focus on the current threat in front of you, pet, or you'll never get anywhere in a fight." He hummed as her mind still focused frantically on the other more important threat. "Cat get her tongue already, Paps?"

Papyrus was watching the girl with a curious expression. He knew of Alphys' reputation as a capable leader and fighter. He remembered the terrified expression the human had given at the mention of Undyne being his best friend. But somehow this looked even more terrified. It felt worse in what he could make out from her Soul, too. In fact... almost the most terrified she had ever been. And he had held her down as she had slipped into a panic attack and Sans had loomed over her. Held her down as his brother had... well...

But this.... She was petrified stone in his grasp.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh." Sans said suddenly, the lights in his eyes lighting up as he reached and touched the girl's nasty scar..... The scar from her... capture... Sans laughed as he trailed his fingers up her skin. Chara swiped his hand away but didn't say anything, her breathing too uneven for that. "Hahaha... Oh how rich!"

"Alphys... is the one who captured her." Papyrus realized as well. The girl stared out ahead towards the door that led out to the garage, thinking... She couldn't escape physically, but how..? She didn't know. She didn't know how to handle this one. If she could handle this one. Half of it depended on how Alphys.... What Alphys... She could ruin everything and Chara had no reason to assume that she wouldn't.

Sans put his other hand on the other side of her face, forcing her to look up between the two brothers once again.

"So I guess that means you weren't so lucky after all." Sans reasoned. "They had to put your insides back in ya after that didn't they? With a scar like that...."

"It's nothing with a bit of monster candy." Chara said automatically. And it had been true. Sans shook his head.

"Not unless you're putting it straight in your mouth. And I highly doubt you stayed conscious."

"You don't know much about adrenaline, do you?" Sans leaned in, pretending to breath in against her.

"Isn't that you're guyses fancy word for fear?"

Chara felt her breathing start to even out, a strange surreal calm coming over her even as Sans stayed close. Too close. But he pulled away, seeming to almost just almost frown. Because what he was sensing was no longer the fear and panic.

Determination.

She knew what she was going to do about this. She knew right away that Alphys would play along. Even if Chara wasn't sure of motives, she knew it would work... She knew.

She was the only one who could rip the rug right out from under her but at the same time Chara could do the same.

Like Sans had said, the woman had a nasty reputation.... Though that was not at all the reason Chara had been afraid of her.

No, it was what Alphys knew.

But Chara had the advantage that she knew a bit more too.

"You know..." Chara began, her voice a lot more even. There was a spark of excitement in the light of Sans' eyes. The red eyes stared straight into him even as her heart still beat quick in her neck despite all of her determination. But it was there. "Alphys didn't actually capture me."

"Oh, is that so?" Chara smiled and while she could see Sans' delight in it she could not afford to back down.

"I meant what I said you know. Monster candy in a pinch. A tad bit more of adrenaline. Intent."

There was the sound of a car out front, cutting Chara off and her heart jumped but she did her best not to show it. She waited anxiously to hear the car door opening. Someone was coming forward.

"But like I said." She continued and Sans eyed her again, curious as to her continued ploy and refusal to fall back into her panicked fear. "Alphys didn't catch me. She let me slip through her fingers. Twice." The cat meowed bitterly as the door opened again, not so much as a knock. Chara turned her eyes towards the door, her smile wide. "Isn't that right Alphys?"

She prayed no one could hear her racing heart that was trying to escape from her chest.

But Papyrus indeed could.

But he and everyone else could also see Alphys' smile falling, her expression.... horrified... as she dropped her keys on the floor.

Immediately the wide-eyed monster gasped and covered her mouth. Papyrus could feel her Soul's immediate distress even from across the room. And Sans could see it in her face. And so did Chara... and her stomach turned, waiting...

"You just can't get rid of me." Chara said, her smile remaining as she kept the Captain's gaze. Alphys lowered her hand, shaking it as if it hurt.

"Shit. Fuck." She was quickly turning around and exiting back into the garage. And Chara began to internally panic- No. No, no she needed to stay where Chara could see her. Where Chara could lead! This isn't what she expected! She hadn't expected her to run-?!

Sans was snarling as he turned towards Chara, fire in his eyes and she wasn't prepared as he punched her forcefully in the gut. She cried out as she bent forward, the pain rippling through her like a chain reaction. The only reason she stayed standing was because of Papyrus.

"Bitch what did you do?" But he didn't stay for an answer as he ran after Alphys. Papyrus shook her, not giving her time to collect herself.

"What _did_ you do?" He demanded, a warning in his tone that sounded like it belonged with Sans.

No... No, no... She'd miscalculated. She hadn't expected such a strong reaction. Or any real reaction other than surprise. She'd thought- She hadn't anticipated...

And if Alphys told- Alphys could tell and not feel ashamed here. If they were really that close- Friends. Close like Papyrus and Sans. Papyrus and perhaps Undyne. She could be vulnerable.

Important people. People close to you-

And Chara wasn't even in the same room, no control whatsoever. Not even to beg.....

The panic was slipping up her chest again, up from the bruise quickly forming on her stomach from Sans' forceful hit. She dared to look up at Papyrus.

"I didn't do anything." She couldn't hide the fear that was returning and flooding through her. She didn't know what to do. With Alphys' reaction. With her own fear. "I don't know- I don't understand- She-"

Alphys was going to tell, was going to tell, destroy everything, they were going to know and it wouldn't be safe and she would lose everything and it had only just begun and- The tears were building up in the back of Chara's eyes. She grabbed the front of Papyrus' shirt with her free hands. He grabbed at her wrists, planning on yanking her hand away. But he could see her expression, the silent plea having quickly returned despite the strength she had found somewhere inside her earlier.

But she... she couldn't do it. She couldn't beg. No matter how badly she wanted to. But it was too early. She didn't know what was going on yet- How much Alphys would tell. She didn't even know if... If there was anything left to beg for... All she could do was silently beg, and hope. Wanting answers and yet still not wanting the brothers to know.

But Papyrus could see that something was different. Something different and more desperate... He reached for her Soul, wanting to be able to read her better, but she recoiled. But physically and mentally, and she turned her head sharply back to silently watch the door.

　

* * *

 

"Alphys!" Sans rushed out of the garage, to Alphys' side as she leaned up against the door of her car. "Alphys are you alright? What happened?"

Alphys shook her head.

"I was just..." She put a hand against her forehead. "Ah fuck." She breathed. She was silent for a moment. "What did C-Chara t-tell you?" She asked as if she was thinking seriously to proceed but afraid to as well.

"Uh... Well we guessed by her reaction, terrified reaction by the way so don't let that smile fool you, but we guess that you were the one to catch her. She says that you didn't and she escaped from you twice. Wait a second, _you_ _know her name_."

"You need to send her back."

"What?!" Sans exclaimed.

"Send her back- no. Not even that. Sell her to someone else. Just get rid of her."

"You can't be serious!" Sans said, taking two more steps forward, lifting out his hands.

"Very serious."

"What the hell. At least tell me why." Sans put his hands on his hips, demanding.

"She's right. I didn't capture her. We fought twice. Three times if you really want to get technical. And you have to send her away Sans. I am already telling you that you're fighting a losing battle. You won't break her." Alphys kept her gaze steady on the ground so Sans couldn't see her expression properly. "You've seen her soul, right? Red."

"Um.. Yeah. That's kinda rare isn't it? Like her eyes."

"Exactly. Send her away."

"That's not an answer! The last few days you've been nothing but smug about this whole thing? But now?? I don't get it. If she kept getting away shouldn't you still be a little bit more smug? I mean, _Alphys_.." Sans leaned in closer, raising a mischievous brow. "She can't get away now. And if you are so torn up about something, having her around, I can totally loan her to you. Perhaps it'll help ya feel better."

"Its-!" Alphys sighed again.

"Unless you give me a straight answer, Alphys, I'm not getting rid of her. I already promised. It ain't over until she squeals. You wouldn't want me to break my promise now would you?"

"No..." But somehow she seemed defeated.

"Alphys?"

"No.. No you're right. You're right. You can't sell her back anyways. She hasn't been in the system long enough to have been fully conditioned and integrated." If she was someone normal. Not someone with LV... perhaps. But not her. "She's a red status isn't she..?"

"I don't know what that means but probably?" But Alphys still didn't seem all too pleased. "Alphys... you just told me the other day you could almost consider us family. You can tell us whatever it is. You know that right...? Or... We can totally go back in there and pretend that this didn't happen and we didn't see it if you want. And you can give her what's due to her."

"R-Right... Right." Alphys lifted herself up off of the car. "Just later... I wasn't going to stay long and I still need to look put together."

"I get it. We were gonna have a bit of fun with her anyways ourselves. We can give her hell for ya until you get your chance."

"Thanks." Alphys said, forcing a smile. Sans patted her on the shoulders comfortingly.

"She's a human, Alph. Don't let her shit get to ya. Though don't feel too bad, Paps had to say the same thing to me the other day." Alphys only nodded and Sans began to lead her back into the house. "Besides, if you really mean it about not being able to break her than shit... Doesn't that make the work even sweeter? Especially when I eventually prove you wrong. Everyone breaks eventually Alphys."

"Yeah..."

The girl, the young teenage girl, was staring, near panicked as they entered the room and immediately Alphys' stomach twisted at the sight of her bare and abused body. The collar tight around her neck. Alphys tried her hardest to twist her smile menacingly.

She could see the girl's pulse in her neck almost. Or perhaps Alphys was just keenly aware that it was there and was just projecting.

Alphys was standing up taller and pretending that she wasn't shaking. And her skeleboys pretended not to see it. Thinking it only just another unwanted attack of her nerves and a small scare.

Not knowing that in fact she was shaking because she was looking at a child she had fought. A child who.... She hadn't expected it. She hadn't expected her to be at the prison, even with the LV. She should have gone into training with those low stats. Labor at least, not the prison. Not with her so young. She hadn't expected... And for Grillby to chose her out of everyone. For Papyrus too... Out of everything she had expected, this was the one thing that had.. caught her off guard.

But that greeting the girl had offered her coming in, that hostile tone and show.... Alphys could do that.. Alphys could play along if that was what she wanted.. Needed...

"Can't escape this time, runt. You owe me a rematch" Alphys said, baiting.. "Give it a few days it'll be just you and me again. Alone. Just like all the times before." Alphys gave her most convincing glare. And Chara... Alphys could see the small amount of relief in her features as she glared back, snarling her teeth... And spat at her feet.

Sans laughed.

"That has started to be her thing."

And Alphys felt uneasy as Sans smacked her across the face and she gave a small cry. But even so....

Papyrus could also sense the change, the moment Alphys had spoken. That small twinge of relief. Even as Sans smacked her. But he just could not understand the silent conversation. Or why it had even happened.....

But he pretended not to notice... for Alphys.

"Well I've gotta go." Alphys said, though technically it wasn't true. She'd had a little bit longer she could have stayed. But she couldn't do it. And she fled the battle. To the safety of her car.

Sans grabbed Chara by the hair roughly.

"I have no fucking CLUE what that was about but you know what I got out of it? You upsetting Alphys and I've gotta say I don't appreciate it."

"She acts all tough and bitter but she's a weak hag." Chara baited. Sans yanked on her hair and she yelped as the pain raced through her. But the word was racing through her, still safe and protected and not torn away from her.

Someone.. had spared her once again... Even if it was still to a bitter fate. But it didn't matter. None of that mattered. Alphys hadn't given up the most important thing...

And Alphys.. She sat in her seat a moment, having driven down the road out of sight from the house and parked.. She rested her head against the steering wheel, shaking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Alphys does not have the confidence she pretends she does.  
> This chapter may be confusing, I'm sorry. I meant to be more straight forward with what Chara and Alphys were thinking about but hated all of it. So you have to wait longer for the deets.  
> and that may be longer than what I've been doing. School is starting back up and you know how that is. I posted as much as I could before it started for that very reason.  
> Now! We all have to wait like reasonable people.  
> Maybe. Probably.  
> Idk.


	18. The Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's human, not human /being/ for a reason...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to not know fully what I am doing but I had a little time.  
> But the beginning of this should have probably been like... the ending of last chapter. Because I realized you know what I didn't like it being SO vague while at the same time also not wanting to give all the details either.  
> How do you write something this long and decide when to tell people stuff? I don't get it. how it work?

They'd had forced Chara to sit back down at the table. This time without any sort of protection for her skin from their gaze and her soul bared and blue.

The cat was pacing back and forth, eyeing her and still not sure what to make of her. In fact it seemed very, very disgruntled by her existence in the house while at the same time holding back. Pacing towards her. Pacing back towards Sans who sat across the long end of the table from her, eating reheated lasagna.

It seemed to be the only thing in the house to eat..... Except, his eyes said, her of course.

He was smug and smiling at her as he ate and Chara refused to acknowledge the fact that she was still hungry. Hungry and her body aching and weighted down by the magic, making it near impossible to move.

Her heart was still racing but for the moment once again the only one they could hurt.. was her. And that was the important thing. The only thing that mattered.

Her shield.

" _Give it a few days it'll be just you and me again. Alone. Just like all the times before."_

But she had never been alone. Ever. And that was the secret. But even so, Alphys hadn't given it up. Given her away. Mercy, she hated how ironic it all was and how dependent... How in any moment Alphys could change her mind. Tell them. Let them know, expose her very heart.

But she hadn't for now. And that was all that mattered.

And as long as the others didn't know, they really couldn't touch her.

"So what do you think, Paps? What should we do today?" Papyrus was standing in the doorway, watching the scene, still shaking off his own confusion. But he smiled for his brother.

"I'm certain you already have a few ideas." Sans shrugged.

"What do you think, pet?" He asked. Chara kept her glare steady and even and refused to flinch away. He licked his teeth, cleaning them and Chara's stomach flipped. "I really enjoyed eating you out last night... Do you even remember that, pet?"

A new assaulting memory she had buried away. The memory through her then hazy mind, knowing he had lifted her legs over his shoulders, his tongue.... Deep inside her, wriggling... Making her...

That's the expression of someone whose-

She pressed her legs closer together, if that were possible, and Sans chuckled.

"Aw, you act like you don't want to remember. You act like you don't want us down there. You hurt me.." No, but oh how she wanted to. "But I think you're right. We should try something new shouldn't we... Something new for both of us."

"Killing you?" She asked almost sweetly. Sans chuckled again as he took his last bite of lasagna.

"How feisty." He stood up and the cat growled in her general direction as she flinched. "I know I was very angry with you yesterday but I've decided that there really will be rules."

He sat down in her lap, pinning her and her chest moved quickly, the fabric of his pants against her bare skin a blessing but she knew that it would not last. And the pressure between her legs. The pain- And his reaching hand. She reached up her own hand to grab his arm as it wrapped around her and supported the back of her head, his fingers in her hair.

"Rule one...... You do not touch Papyrus unless you wanna have a bad time. You hurt my brother in any way and I **will** kill you."

She hated him. Hated both of them... And to call his brother off limits when he was in no way a by-standing party not involved in this was unfair.

"Rule two, and this is a promise as long as you follow Rule One..." He grabbed her chin. "This doesn't end until you break. As long as you are still willing to fight. As long as you're willing to get back up. This goes on. Until you give up completely or who knows, maybe you'll even learn to like it. Either way, I'll have you begging to finish. One way or another. Eventually. And once that happens... You're dead. Maybe not right away, but once that happens, once you break and can't seem to pick yourself back up, I can kill you any time I please. But not _before_..

"And rule three... Like I think I said yesterday, you can try anything you want to fight. And _please_ do. But always remember that there are consequences. Always consequences. All of them you won't like."

"Well I don't like you either." Sans laughed at her grumbled attempt.

"Yeah and guess what. You're still stuck with me. So I guess yeah... I'm your consequence ain't I."

A consequence of her LV they always tried to pin on her. Of her being just what she was... human. But even so...

"And you think you're above consequences don't you..." Chara reasoned.

"No.. I believe in karmic retribution, trust me. It's just... I'm in the right here, pretty sure."

Her grip around the bone of his arm tightened, she imagined it turning into dust between her fingers.

"You're a raping murderer."

"Well haven't _murdered_ anyone.. And rape is something you do to _people_ , pet."

She was just a human... A demon... She knew that was how all monsters thought and that they truly, truly thought it... And she was inclined to agree. About all humans. And monsters too. Everyone. Well... Mostly everyone.

She couldn't keep his gaze anymore and cast her eyes downward... because she wasn't even sure if Sans fell into that group who truly believed it or if he was just sick enough to afford himself not to care.

"I think that I hurt the little bit of feelings she has, Paps.." He shook his head. "But you don't seem to be protesting it.." He reasoned for her, still keeping his fingers beneath her chin. "You know what you are, you've said it yourself..."

........... She hadn't been the first one to call herself a demon, Grillby neither.

But she knew that despite everything she felt that it wasn't true.

It wasn't true.... She wasn't a demon.. It had just been her first attempt at a shield.. and it had only fallen through. That was what hatred did. Fell through. Destroyed everything.... She hated it.. She hated it because she always needed it... Her eyes closed.

 _Dreamer_ -

She couldn't know how Sans really felt. If he believed what he said or not. Alphys she knew though, that she didn't believe it but kept it to herself and pretended that she did just to protect herself like the selfish ass everyone in this world twisted themselves into. Papyrus...

Chara gasped as Sans pulled her in closer, she pressed against his chest forcefully as he began to lick at her skin. Her chin was against his shoulder, and she could see Papyrus watching from a distance... a pitiful expression on his face.

" _Love_." She had said.

" _Yes but not the kind you're thinking of."_

She knew what Papyrus was, too. Papyrus was one of those people that believed it. Believed it and any clue as to something contrary.....

He pretended not to see.... Or reasoned it away. 

Papyrus was grabbing the plate off of the table, now thoroughly licked of everything by the cat... And he took it into the kitchen.

Leaving her alone for just a moment with his brother, groping her and her helpless to defend against it. A hand reached down her back and Chara yelped as he- There was a smacking sound and Chara caught her breath as the pain went static through her and her bruises cried out in pain.

Sans only laughed.

How she hated the sound.

"You really upset Alphys." He told her again. "I think we owe it to her to open up her box and see what we can do with what we've got."

 _Dreamer_ -, Chara thought, closing her eyes. The word close to her chest. _Dream_...

Making her own rules quickly in her head as Sans began to stand up, lifting her with him and dragging her by the arms and by the Soul-

Rule One, Don't give him up to them. Don't let them know he existed for as long as you can. It was Dream, Dreamer, nothing else. They couldn't know what it meant even if she slipped. Dream. Dream and remember what that meant.

Rule Two, Don't give up. Keep going. It's just pain. Just pain... As long as you follow Rule One they can't touch you. They can't win. Just dream.

Rule Three..... Give them hell without getting yourself killed... Get out.

She wasn't sure how she was going to follow that last one yet... Or even if she could... But as long as she kept the first one. As long as Alphys didn't give her away-

"You'll have to excuse the mess, we haven't had the chance to clean up." Sans was carting her towards the bedroom, she tried to drag her feet but the blue magic was too strong. His grip around her wrists.

She pulled back but he kept her balanced-

She let go of her resistance, allowing herself to move forward, and shoved him as hard as she-

But he was gone. Vanished in front of her and Chara gasped as he held her from behind, a hand around her shoulders, the other gripping down between her legs as he tilted her back against his body.

"Good girl." He said as she whined softly. "Keep that up. Just like that... But always remember. Consequences."

And then he stole even the chance at continuing her resistance. Teleporting her directly into the room.. and throwing her onto the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My reaction was like, oh wait am I writing smut again? this is too soon. (Chara feels this too) So I don't know how much smut details I am actually going to be putting into this story as we go along. Plot took over.


	19. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She refused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Imma post less now  
> Also me: Keeps posting  
> Okay then...

The sheets still smelled.. like the night before. It had been sprayed from her skin, she had finally started to be able to move her legs without feeling as if something was still inside her. And there they were again, she was being pressed down into the sheets, her skin already bare and completely exposed, and she was being pressed into the sheets unable to fight- gagging on the smell and the memory. The memories that were playing in her mind, the memory that wasn't a memory anymore because Sans was over her, keeping her Soul pressed and body weighted and there was nothing she could do but close her eyes and hold on to her shield as he undid his belt buckle. As he wasted no time starting to grind against her backside as he pressed her face into the covers-

"What was your favorite position from yesterday? We'll start off from there. I think I already told you how much I loved sticking my tongue into you. Buuut I think what I really loved was that first time. Remember? Papyrus holding you while you struggled not to cry. Holding your breath even but only making your face redder. That panic attack you couldn't quite- hnnn- hold off."

It hurt already. He wasn't inside her, just grinding between her legs as he kept her ass up in the air. His ecto-cock was pulsing, growing, as it slid against her folds. As if they were just picking back up right where they had left off.

Chara couldn't breathe again-

"I love that face you make." He huffed slightly. "That one where you're trying not to cry and can't breathe..."

The girl's red eye looked up at him as he leaned over her, keeping his hands tightly against her hips. She tried to glare.

"And that's my second favorite..... Third is when you can't do either anymore and you just sob with your eyes closed.. Or you just.. haze over.. and stare with you lips parted. That was all we got by the end of the night. Do you remember that? Do you even remember me sticking my cock into your mouth? Did ya wake up with a craving?"

She closed her eyes, grimacing at the pain and Sans continued to grind against her.

Because she could remember. Just not everything at the same time. As the memories leaked through.

"What.. no response? Or does it already just feel so good... You're getting wet."

Did he ever just... shut up?

"You know what, I think this is the first time we've ever been alone with each other." He continued. "No that ain't right. Last time you called me a sick freak. When we were waiting for Papyrus..." His breath was hot against the back of her neck and Chara continued to grimace. "I was gonna- get into what I wanted right away.. But I wanted Paps for that.. Wouldn't want.. him to miss it. But while we wait. How about we get to know each other better. Just you and me. How about it pet?" She felt his finger slip beneath her chin, grabbing it and trying to get her to open her eyes. But she refused.

"Go to h-hell." She breathed. He hummed in delight, his tongue against her back.

"What did I tell ya about hell, pet?"

Another person's heaven....

Chara treid to bury her face farther into the sheets, despite the smell-

Chara gasped and her eyes opened as her hips were pulled and she was forced to flip over, staring up at Sans as he put his hands against her shoulders and smiled directly even to her face.

"Now then... How about we get started with that for tonight?" She was already so hot, panting... her entire body aching in protest and between her legs simply hurting right out. "You know I'll give you this one chance, pet. Just one. All you have to do is say one little word. One little, tiny word. Just say please. Say please. Say please right now and I'll fuck you good, make you _feel_ good. And when it is all said and done... I won't drag it out. I'll kill you. I won't add any more pain."

And suddenly, clearly, in his own _expression,_ she knew what kind of person he was.... Whether he truly though she was a person or not didn't matter. All that mattered was that she could and would fight him. That he could keep on playing... And offering this quick 'out', this so called Mercy....

"C'mon, pet... You can just forget all of this, okay? Just lay down your pride... Just say it... Say it..." His voice was frighteningly calm, pretending to comfort....

And he knew before even offering it that she wouldn't take it. Not in a million years.

She knew what kind of person he was. She knew it distinctly. And suddenly, the determination flowed through her.

Her enemy had a face.

Her enemy had a name.

Her enemy.... she knew.

And sometimes that was all you needed so you didn't have to be stronger than your enemy....

And she spat his 'Mercy' in his face. Quite literally. Her eyes glaring. She refused to offer him anything more than that. Than her spit. Than her glare. And a single-

"I **refuse**."

Up to that point she had tried her hardest to keep up a brave face. To be snarky. Fighting with a fiery flare.

It had annoyed Grillby to no end, that snark, but for him...

Sans wanted her to play along and she had before. She'd been _snarky_. Fighting with a fiery _flare_. Given him all that he wanted....

She wouldn't be able to stop it all... From having her knee jerk reactions... when it hurt, when it scared her. She was terrified. Would still be terrified. She wouldn't be able to hold back from crying. From sobbing.

But she was done playing into his hands.

She refused.

She refused to make him laugh if she could help it.

Playing into his boney hands.....

It went against everything inside of her. Everything she had constructed in herself for months and months inside the prison. But it hadn't been working. It would continue not to work.

_"Focus on the current threat in front of you, pet, or you'll never get anywhere in a fight."_

But you never got anywhere by doing the same failing thing over and over either.

She had to calm down. She had to change. She wasn't going to get it right, right away, but if she just kept at it...

Her silence but the chanted spell in her head. Her red glare. Holding out beneath him for as long as she could. As long as she could without screaming. Without crying.

Because he thought she deserved this and it didn't matter, person or not to him. He thought he deserved this....

But she would not meet his so-called 'standards' as Papyrus had called them now that she truly knew what they were.

Even if that was the only thing she had. To take that extra bit of fun away from him.

So be it.

Now that she had a plan.... All her thoughts in order....

He wanted a fight.

But she wasn't going to give him the fight that he wanted. Not anymore. But she wouldn't break for him either.

Sans' smile widened a bit, not taking her at all seriously.

But Chara was determined.

She closed her eyes, relaxing her face as much as she could. Rotating through her assorted chants.

The current reality:

 _It was just pain. This was just pain_....

And the end goal:

 _Dreamer_....

And the spite:

 _I refuse_.

She refused.

She stopped struggling beneath him, breathing in as evenly as possible even with her reddened expression.

"Oh what's this now?" Sans asked at the new approach. He was down close to her skin, causing her heart to jump but she held her expression straight. "You say you refuse." He breathed, rubbing his shaft against her skin. "But you look so deliciously submissive and resigned right now, pet."

She said nothing.

She thought of the cat in the kitchen. How one played with a mouse....

As long as it was moving....

If she could only play dead.

Her fear and the pain would not allow it. The stimulation of his touching and the heat of her skin...

But she refused.

She refused....

They refused to see her as a person..

To only use her as a thing.

Their next meal to devour.

A cat with a mouse.

She couldn't win. Not like this. All she could do was survive.

She couldn't win...

But she refused.

She could drag him into a stalemate.

Because he'd made that promise.

She could not escape like this. But at the same time... She would not break for him. She would not give up or give in.

And as long as he kept that promise.

As long as she stayed alive.

As long as her secret stayed safe.

She could still win... Not now, but perhaps later... Later....

She refused.

And with that, there was still hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk. It's a mess. But we're shifting into our long haul mentalities for characters aren't we...?  
> *slight, whispered screaming from the author*  
> This is why peoples rough draft.  
> This is my rough draft..................................  
> \\_(:/)_/


	20. The Plan (Sans)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is a bitter pain in the ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ew

He'd thrown the girl carelessly onto the bed and had quickly came up over her as she tried to twist and get away. Despite the blue against her soul. Despite his looming body. All that wriggling struggle. All those feisty glares and silent promises to find a way to get back at him- And he pressed her down into the sheets, forcing her nose against the sheets, the exact same spot as the night before.

She gasped for breath, only to gag and close her eyes. Sans only smiled wider at her ashamed, burning cheeks and he began to work with his belt buckle, his magic pulsing and oh so eager at the sight of her exposed skin. He grabbed at her hips and pulled her up slightly so he could lean over her and slide his stiffening cock between her legs and pressed a hand against the back of her head, forcing her down even furthur and restricting her movements. She tried to move her hips forward, away from him, only making him groan as she worked against him in the opposite direction he was moving. He only curled his fingers into her hair, keeping the other on her hips and keeping her in place.

"What was your favorite position from yesterday?" He asked, and kept talking and talking... Watching her half hidden expression. Gasping for air, her mind assaulting her with memory and also her brutal reality as he kept her pinned against him. That expression...

"I love that face you make."

That one where she wanted to cry but doing her best to stop it. Wanting to cry as she grew aroused from his touching, her face red and her breath uneven and panting, even as her expression revealed the pain. And the panic-

But she was looking up at him the best she could... trying to glare.

"And that's my second favorite..."

And the third was the one where she couldn't think or see straight from all of the fucking- drowning in her own mind as she was covered in sweat and cum, and semen coming from her mouth... He didn't even think she could remember that. So completely out of it, overstimulated and fallen apart....

She didn't respond to any of his promptings though, too caught up in her struggle and fear... Still trying to claw herself away. Her hands digging into the sheets. Wanting to escape. Needing to escape.

"What... no resonse? Or does it already just feel so good..."

He could feel that her skin was still swollen, despite all Papyrus had done to heal her, that she was in pain even with the forced sense of pleasure that came with it. She was already growing nice and slick-

This just felt so nice... To have all of this control and all the say as to what happened, and he could take any pace that he wanted, not even needing to worry about Papyrus for once-

"You know what, I think this is the first time we've ever been alone with each other." He realized. Except... No. It was just the first time being alone and not needing to rush anything, or things to really do... besides her. Because last time they had been alone, he had only been holding off and waiting for his brother to come back- heh. He was never going to get tired of that pun...

But right now. Finally. It was just the two of them and nothing to rush for. Of course he had his plan for later, but he'd have Papyrus join them for that if he wanted. But for right then- The night before had just been about using her, testing her... most of it not even about her half the time. But if this was going to be more of a fight than just a few days, well then...

"How about we get to know each other better. Just you and me. How about it pet?"

But she would not open her eyes and he grabbed her by the chin, trying to force her, encourage her.

"Go to h-hell." She panted and Sans smiled widely as he hummed. He grazed his tongue against the trembling skin of her back. Down her spine and sending a shiver through her.

"What did I tell ya about hell, pet?"

Cuz the texture of her soft and flexible skin and the pressure of resisting bone underneath was driving him crazy and felt like certain heaven as he grazed against the entrance of her wet insides.

And she couldn't get away. Couldn't escape physically..

And she tried to hide her face away into the sheets. Trying to escpae mentally.... To hide in the smell of her fear and shame...

Sans wouldn't have it.

He grabbed both of her hips and pulled back. She gasped, the fearful sound delightful, as he forced her over to face him. He slammed his hands against her shoulders, supporting himself against her as he stared directly into her terrified, wide-eyed expression. And he just kept smiling..

But that expression... That expression was probably the only one he didn't really like so much. Not because of the fear. He could handle that. Revel in it. No it was this one specifically that would emerge from the back of her eyes, with everything else stripped away. Where she wouldn't hold her breath but she wouldn't breathe either. A small, tiny moment where time seemed to stop, pull back for a second, for her in that pure terror. And the reason he hated it was because for just a second she looked almost.... Well... But it always disappeared in an instant as she would refocus and time restarted.

But in that specific moment, he always wanted to reach down and simply strangle the life out of her...

But right then, as time snapped back into motion, all he had was the pleasurable arousal running through him. The heaven. And he still wanted to strangle the life out of her, but bit by bit... Agonizing and pleasurable bit.

And she couldn't escape... Only one way out....

He moved one hand from her shoulder and put it against the side of her cheek as he kept his elbow pressed painfully against her chest-

"You know, I'll give you this one chance, pet." He trailed his thumb against her temple. "Just one. All you have to do is say one little word. One little, tiny word." He made his voice soft, assuring- "Just say please." He told her. "Say please. Say please right now and I'll fuck you good, make you _feel_ good. And when it is all said and done... I won't drag it out. I'll kill you. I won't add any more pain."

He watched her expression, hungry. Hungry for her _never_ that was sure to be the answer. For her _no_ , her indirect _fuck you_. Her eyes were there, ready to fight, wanting to tear him apart... Everything he wanted from her.. And oh how good it felt. Almost as good as his arousal.

"C'mon, pet... You can just forget all of this, okay? Just lay down your pride.. Just say it... Say it.." It would make his job a lot easier.

But she simply summoned her strenght, and spat directly into his face as she glared intensely.

"I **refuse**."

Sans laughed as he wiped his face. Sans widened his smile, waiting for her next snip, but- but as he watched her.....

It was as if... he was watching a switch turn on in her mind. A decision in the back of her eyes. Not the anger and rage and the willingness to fight. Not like before at least. Not even that bullshit glare she always gave to appear stronger. It was almost as if he was watching her recede and slip through his fingers even as he held her tight. But still something... some feeling in the back of her eyes...

Until she closed them... as her body went slack beneath him. Her breathing uneven and her chest moving up quickly but at the same time, still something different-

Sans shook of the weird feeling and laughed as he shook his head.

"Oh what's this now?" Sans asked, moving his hand down to her chin, but still her eyes remained closed. He leaned in close, breathing against her and whispering in her ear. "You say you refuse.." He intentionally ran the shaft of his cock against her, causing a shiver but at the same time, that same stifness and lack of struggle. Oh the _poor_ thing. "But you look so deliciously submissive and resigned right now, pet."

She didn't move except for what her body betrayed her to do... Her gulped breathing, the twisting tension racing up from between her legs and through her body.

"Heh." Sans began to trail across her body, handling her rough with his fingers and his mouth. Still she did her best to not respond. "Oh I get it..." Sans said. "Tryin' to put up the barricade. Smart. But it won't last, pet." Her body jolted before she could stiffle it, as he realigned their hips and he pressed at her entrance. He could feel her heart race beneath his boney palm, the up and down of her near panting- "You're panting like a dog and I ain't even going in ya yet. You can't keep it straight. This plan isn't going to work."

But still she did not respond.

But she would eventually. Sans was sure. Sans would make sure. And each call and cry he elicited from her would be even sweeter. A direct quantification of his success. She wouldn't be able to keep up this tactic. It went against her very nature anyways, she'd slip, she'd break out of it even if she didn't break fully right away. But he was impressed by her willingness to at least try. Surprised too.

He had expected her in her idiocy to just keep at the same tactic over and over, trying something that didn't work in insanity. But this was interesting... even if it was still not going to work. At least she knew better than to keep doing the same not-working thing.

Adapting.... How unexpected.

Perhaps with this constant changing of tactics, she really would last the week.

"Ready?" Sans whispered, his face close to hers as he retrailed back up against her and once again prodded close to her entrance. All she did was grimace to herself. "No? Good..."

He started pushing in. Her body twitched and there was a surpressed whine of pain and pleasure in one. But still her eyes remained shut. Still Sans pushed forward. Slowly at first, pressing inward, pulling almost completely, pressing back in. He watched her face as he kept up the lazy pace, huffing heavily above her.

"Come on, pet.." He said as gently as possible. He reached and took her hands in his, trailing her hands up the side of the bed and above her head, twisting her fingers into his as he leaned up close against her face, his breath against her skin. Almost intimate, if it had been with anyone else, it would have been intimate. "I can still make it feel _good_.. Even if ya didn't ask for it... Doesn't it feel good? The way your body trembles. The way hnnn.. The way your insides tighten and beg for more..? The twisting fire inside you, working itself up, up- h-up?" Her legs both shook for a moment, in response to that same sensation. "You should just ride it out, pet... If ya going to try and keep me out of your head that is what you should do."

He let go of one of her hands, grabbing it with the other, keeping her hands still stuck even as he grabbed her face against and angled it against his as he spoke into her ear.

"If you worked with it, it would feel so much better you know.... Its unfair of you to expect me to do all of the work. This sort of relationship isn't just one way."

But still she did not snap any violent words back. Her claims that it was unfair what he was doing. That this was not a relationship. And she would have been right for one of those claims. This was an ownership.

"You belong to me, pet. To fuck. To torture. To break. To kill. But oh so so much to fuck." He began to pick up the pace, the lazy pace driving him _nuts_. Even as it drove her down a spiraling well of pained, unsatisfying pleasure. Her body begging for more stimulation even as she tried to keep herself distanced from it all in her head.

Sans thrust in more fully, faster, closing in on his orgasm if he just kept this up like this. Just kept going. To the finish.

He still had his face pressed up close to her's, his mouth just against her ear as he held the other side of her face. Letting her hear his grunts and moans clearly. Feeling the heat of his breath. Letting her feel his trembling form. Letting her experience his pure pleasure and enjoyment of using her up close and personal. Keeping her from imagining that she could hide her own responses. The way each breath from her opened mouth came out with a small sound in the back of her throat. Each withheld moan. The small tear he caught in the corner of her closed eye, single and solitary.

And Sans was so close... So close as her swollen but wet insides spasmed more and more, begging him to go faster that she could only inhibit, well, try to inhibit, was with the futile near-involuntary twisting of her legs beneath him. Her eyes opened, but stared unfocused at the ceiling as her head pressed back farther against the matress. But Sans pressed against her cheek harder and pressed his teeth against her ear to keep her in place.

She gave out a strangled.... Hmm. Just a strangled sound. Not exactly a moan. Or a whine. Only strangled. And she reclosed her eyes. Closing herself back off.

"I'm so close, pet... So close." Sans grunted, wanting her to feel everything with a certain sense of knowing and awareness even as she tried to cut herself off. "Can you hear how wet you are? That almost sucking s-sound.. as I thrust. Can y-you feel my hips, crushing yours? My bones working against you- body. My breath, against you sk-in." He groaned as her insides squeezed. "So tight. Even after, yesterday. Paps healing.. Swollen still- So wet, ya think there is still cum from y-yesterday?"

He gave her no rest. Not with his words and breath. Not with his increasingly frantic movement.

"So close, I'm going to d-do it. Do-" He lost the ability to think, to talk, as the magic raced through him and all he could think was curse words and just the general sense of how good she still felt- And he was finishing. Loudly. Grunting into her ear as he went rigid and began to fill her again.

There was a trembling, intact of breath, but still..... Other than the involuntary twisting of her body, there was nothing.

"Good girl..." Sans breathed, resting his entire weight against her as he remained inside her. Her insides still twitching, almost too much to experience right away. But her body was begging even if she did not. Begging for release.

But still he could not touch her mind, her too withdrawn within it. The idea sparked a bit of anger inside Sans. Even though he knew it couldn't and wouldn't last, the idea that she could act so high and mighty airs after how many times he had gotten a reaction out of her before. Over and over. As she squirmed. As she cried. And she would continue to do those thigns so why act any different now. As if she was somehow better now. High and mighty as her body _betrayed_ her. As she panted and her body _begged_ for more and releasing relief.

But fine....

"I can see it on your face." Sans breathed. "You want to come too. You were so close.. If you just ask nicely-" He rolled his hips and she moaned... But she would not ask and he knew it. "Alright, pet. Alright. You don't have to. But that means I ain't helpin ya either. You want to act so above it all... even after how you sobbed yesterday, fine.. Let's see how long I can get off on you with you getting nothing. See how that feels. You'll be begging for it by the end. At least in your head." At the very least she would be in serious pain and unable to seriously think.

She was still trembling but still like a doll... No fight but at the same time resisting...

It was already making that anger grow with each new thrust Sans made, bringin her up, only to leave her body aching and wanting as he brought her back down.

He'd been telling himself the pleasure was enough. The fear beneath her skin as she focused on _him_. But he seemed to have underestimated her in this new plan of hers. Even on the constant brink of an orgasm and having it denied... As the minutes ticked on she held on through it. Unable to stop the moans but at the same time, still he could feel her mind focusing on something else. Ignoring him. Refusing him the attention of the fight. Even as she remained afraid. Even as she couldn't hide it and wasn't even trying to hide it. It just.... there. And he couldn't describe it. Fear... while still unafraid.

"Just gonna stand there and take it?" Sans demanded as he stopped moving, pressing his fingers painfully against her face as she took in several large, sharp breaths. And the red eyes opened, seeing him without really seeing him.

 _It's just pain_ , her gaze told him, even from behind her glass wall. And while Sans couldn't hear it he could see it. The anger sparked again-

But no matter. There was still so much time. She had too much fire. She'd snap. He just had to press the right buttons. Or the right holes...

But the anger- Because Sans could sense the shift. Because Sans could sense that it wasn't all bullshit she was just pulling out of her ass. Not just a simple change in tactics.

With her Soul exposed above them and the weight of his magic against it, Sans could feel it and it was very real and how he **hated** it. This thing.... Confronted with it and not sure what to do with it-

This change in her. Where did it come from? Her terror at Alphys. Falling apart yesterday like a whimpering idiot. And now this. Where did it come from? Out of nowhere? Wasn't it just yesterday when she was naive and didn't know what was to _come_. Just laying there in her panic. And had just been there!! When he had thrown her onto the bed!! It had just been there! But this attitude... This thing... When now she knew what he could do and knowing that there was still more??

He didn't understand and it enraged him to an embarassing extent. He knew he was already letting her in underneath his _skin_ , but at the same time... There was no Papyrus there to pull him back down.

He grabbed around her neck and cut off her air. The girl was forced to focus on him, her eyes wide and her now free hands pulling down to grab at his fingers.

"I don't like your attitude." He growled. But her eyes closed, her face red as she couldn't breath. But she still would not give him her full attention.

_It was just pain, just pain, she didn't matter, DreamrefuseDream-_

He let go, allowing her to breathe and Sans pushed himself up as she opened one of her eyes, squinting at him. Even as she refused his bait.

"Paps!" Sans called. "Papyrus!!"

"Yes?" Came his brother's voice, moving closer..

"There's a box on the island in the kitchen! Bring it in here and yourself when you're ready to come join us!"

Chara squeezed her eyes shut again, refusing-

"You wanna be an _asshole_ about this than fine." He said, as if he hadn't already been planning this from the start.

Papyrus came into the room a few minutes later, the box under his arm. He had a concerned expression at the angry tone his brother had.

"Open it. It's time for me to have some real fun. I know for a face Alphys put some lube in there."

"You look like you need a break." Papyrus said though.

"No. What I need is to show this bitch her place. Bring it over here.... Please." He added at the end, his tone lightening the moment Papyrus' expression turned scolding. But still Papyrus listened. Setting the box down and opening. He stared..

"I don't know what half of this is."

"Heheheh. Gonna be honest, I only know what they are. Never used 'em before. I'm still probably not. Seems less fun. Maybe a day I'm tired." He spoke, as if he wasn't still straddling Chara, entirely thrust in to the hilt with her panting beneath him. If she was going to act like she wasn't there, then so would he. Fine...

"Just bring over the lube. I think those beads are for this sorta thing but I think I'm good." Papyrus picked up the container and looked it over in his hands. Then he came over to the bed.

"Are you going to get in on this?" Papyrus hummed. "It's okay. But you're going to watch right?"

Papyrus' curiousity was peaked and he nodded.

"Here." Papyrus sat down and Sans began to pull out, letting Chara gasp as he left her all but empty, his cum inside her even as she remained unsatisfied. "Hold her again."

She bit her lip, eyes still closed, as she was lifted up, and violently flipped over by Sans. Her eyes opened as she was thrown forward, landing against Papyrus' lap. She looked up at him, the fear edging over her just enough to pull her mind forward and to focus on him for a moment. And Papyrus watched curiously as she regrounded herself. Closing her eyes, reknewing her silent chant.

Even as she stayed in between his legs, and he pulled her head close against his pelvis, her face against the front of his pants even as Sans positioned her hips upwards. Keeping her exposed to him as he ran his hands over her butt cheeks.

"You know I've always been kinda curious about this. But I suppose you don't use it very much anyways if you're eating monster food everywhere-" He spanked her and Chara jolted, a small cry and moan coming from her as her eyes opened. Only to reclose. Sans growled but Papyrus was curious about it. "She thinks she can just turn off and pretend not to be here." Sans explained. "Its her new tactic. Thinking she is something more than just an object to use and above it all."

Papyrus hummed, impressed at her lingering determination he could feel off of her as he trailed a thumb over her bottom lip as she breathed hotly against him. Completely consumed in her body's need but still holding on to something. It was new.... and unexpected.... but at the same time... expected.

After all this was the smart thing to do if she truly wanted to get at his brother... it was just that Papyrus hadn't anticipated her being smart enough to realize this. He suspected it wouldn't last though... There was too much fight in her to remain this held back and reserved...

He kept his thumb trailing over her bottom lip, back and forth. His other hand in her hair as Sans spanked her again and she had no choice but to push up against Papyrus as her body reacted. There was the static of magic around his pelvis from the pressure and the sensation of her skin. The sound of her labored breathing and the hazy expression on her face. Even as she remained in her own mind. The chant from her soul- A shiver went up his spin as she gripped at the sides of his hips, swallowing her pride and grounding herself as Sans' hand began to graze between her thighs, starting to use the cum on his fingers. Her grip on Papyrus tightened as Sans began to dig a finger into her backside. She grit her teeth. The fear returned tenfold. Her heart and soul racing but keeping herself steady.

It was just pain.

"You know, we could just forego the lube, pet." Sans told her threateningly, still trying to pull her attention back. As if his fingers against her ass were not enough of stimulous to grab her attention.

"Sans..." Papyrus said, trying to calm his brother down. "Don't focus on her. Focus on you. Just like I said yesterday." Sans snarled but tried to obey as he put more and more lube, keeping himself pressed up against her and keeping himself aroused. Soon he was starting to smile again. Seeing her holding on tightly to his brother, the fear on her face despite all she was trying to hold back.

"Heh..." Sans spanked her again and she jerked.

Papyrus gritted his teeth at the movement. Watching was interesting in and of itself, but having her pressed up against him like this added something even more to the experience. And her holding onto him made it even better.

Sans put to fingers into her now, easing it back and forth.

"Isn't this even worse?" He asked her. "Did you even realize this was something you could do? I mean, it was very clear that you barely- knew what any of this was before yesterday. But this is worse, right? Cuz you're not even gonna come, I'll make sure of it. It's just gonna hurt. Not even gonna try ta give you pleasure. Just me. All your gonna get is the pressure and the sensation of me inside you enjoying myself. And you're only going to have that burning sensation but none of the relief."

She did not respond... but she had thought it.... That this was somehow worse.... His own pleasure at her pain. The idea that it would be just to keep her in this state... making her face red and panting..... That coiling torturous sensation.

All she could do was keep her mind else where. But it really was getting harder.

And his cock was hard against her.

"I think that's- enough." Sans said, tossing the lube to the side. Though he knew that it wouldn't be enough.... But he didn't care. He kept her open for him with his fingers, guiding the head to her entrance. Papyrus felt her grip on him tighten- Knowing while not knowing at all.

_It's just pain._

And she did not fear pain, she had said to him.

Not pain. Not death. Not Sans.

But to an extent she did indeed fear them all. It just wasn't the worse thing that could be happening.

_Dreamer- Dream-_

But here she was again. Being held down by Sans and Papyrus, Sans pushing himself into her. And she was screaming. Screaming and holding tight to Papyrus as the pain stabbed through her. His brother thrusting. And it was too much. Too rough as he pushed deeper and deeper. Not even truly deep yet but not enough against her tight walls to help ease the pain and the pressure.

He thrust in farther with a grunt and Chara gave another intense scream- no... Silent scream. The pain as something inside her was tearing cutting off all sound from her throat, racing through her- before finally she breathed out again, the scream finally escaping. She found her hands had moved to the bass of Papyrus' spine, gripping mercilessly- Only to keep sending waves of pleasure through him as well.

"What was- that... all that... resisting? You're just screamin like.. the little bitch-slut you are.." Sans grunted, moving against her and forcing her to move against his brother. "Should make you- suck my bro's- cock again- As I do.. this.."

Papyrus only groaned, his thumb still against her face, her chin as she kept her mouth open, gasping for air and moaning and yet also occasionally screaming from the pain- His other hand gripping at her hair as her head moved back and forth.

"Gotta get ya... used to taking both of us.. If lucky- won't force ya to take both of us down here tonight-"

Her mind jolted out of its mantras, latching onto that comment. The idea that... That they could do that. Both at the same time, no escape- As both thrusted and listend to her scream.

She'd beg... She'd break...

Sans was laughing, gripping at the base of her back painfully as he continued to pull out and shove back in...

There was blood, Chara knew it.. Blood and cum and whatever liquid he had put into her but not enough- And it hurt, it hurt it-

_It's just pain-!_

"Nah. Think we'll... wait. Save it for a special.. occasion."

"She's starting to cry..." Papyrus noted. And she realized that she was... A sob working its way through her chest as tears were starting to escape her half opened eyes.

"Fucking- finally-" Sans growled. He pressed downwards, leaning over her, putting a hand on her uncomfortably curved back to give himself more depth in his thrusts. "Fuck- this is even tighter than the other-" He cut off into silence, thrusting harder as his magic flared and he worked up to another climax inside of her. The liquid flooded through her and Chara reclosed her eyes, trying to ignore the shame..... The tears that were there that was not just from the pain-

_It was just pain-_

Sans leaned down over her back, his chin digging into her as she sobbed against his brother, feeling the pulsing magic against her cheek and neck beneath his pants. And Papyrus knew she could feel it, almost self conscious about it while at the same time feeling the pleasure.

"Sweet.... Tori..." Sans breathed.

"You look exhausted."

"Hnnngh."

"You're running on so little sleep, brother." Papyrus reminded, his voice calm yet a bit uneven.

"Too early to stop... Or go to.. bed... Besides.. gotta keep showing her whose her.. lord, right?" Chara felt Papyrus' hand move, touching her lips again but her mind was starting to.. find it difficult to focus on anything. Except painfully, literally painfully, aware of him lingering inside her. The blood. The cum... She couldn't even grasp onto her mantra'd chants for long before focusing back... Only to offer another forceful, refuse.... And try to think of something else.

"I don't think she'd going anywhere." Papyrus reminded. At least not physically- Mentally was still impossible but she was working on it.. The impossible was just very hard to do, even for a determined soul determined to do it.

"R-Right..." But Sans was making no move to pull out of her and the blood and cum... He just kept Chara in the uncomfortable position between him and his brother, enjoying the view through his dropping eye sockets. Papyrus chuckled a bit.

"Are you just going to sleep like that?"

"Well its called... sleeping together." Chara felt more than heard Papyrus laugh. The vibrating sensation pushing the hardening thing against her face as he did. And she was so very terrified that she would be forced to stay in the bed with the two of them all night- craving the darkness.

But in it all,

_It's just pain-_

_Dreamer-_

_I refuse-_

"Ah look... she's still tryin her best to ignore me-" She shivered as his hand trailed down her more than aching back. "It's alright, pet. I forgive ya. Paps right. We got time. You'll come around.. Just not tonight."

"Brother, if you make that specific pun one more time..." Papyrus warned.

"Heh. Guess Paps won't be either." Chara jolted in pain as she heard a smacking sound. But it wasn't Sans spanking her again, it was Papyrus. Smacking his brother upside the head, moving him inside of her as he did so.

"She's bleeding, let me heal it some before she stains the covers." Sans groaned, but to Chara's relief, obeyed, pulling out of her and letting her legs collapse against the bed as she panted. And Papyrus pulled her off of him and shifting beside her. She flinched as he touched her, but at the same time, the green healing magic she would not say no to-

Papyrus began to heal her over, but frowned slightly at his glowing hand. Because just barely there was that strange offness about it. But this time he could tell that it wasn't just off. And he realized he didn't like it... It tasted wrong. Which was the opposite of all he knew about healing magic. It being his strongest magic, even after blue and bones.... Healing magic. And with it the ability to feel into other's souls more easily.

He pulled his hand away and looked down at his fingers... His brother had his eyes closed as he lay on his back, resting for a bit... Papyrus went back to healing her. Feeling the trembling hurt of her soul even as she tried to hide it, to ignore it... Even as tears kept trailing silently down her face.

She really was peculiar. Humans were in general. But her he assumed was specifically so. Somehow that determined spite though, reminded him a bit of Sans. Which was why he had chosen her to begin with. But that strong chant in her soul he could feel with his magic... the feeling with it felt oddly familiar. It also felt off and wrong and put him almost at unease......

But he pushed it away and focused on healing her for his brother.

He pushed it away........ and pretended not to notice.

 

 


	21. Homesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything hurts... especially her soul....  
> Thinking about home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I keep going like this, I'll finally get to the other parts of this I want to write by the time school gets too chaotic to allow me time to actually write.  
> Perfect!

Chara found herself laced between them in the darkness.

They had healed her, used her some more, constantly reminding her in every way that this was all she was there for, even as she kept herself as unresponsive as possible. Not saying a word. Of course Sans had told her if she wouldn't speak, they'd use her mouth for something else.... That was the worse one she decided, the worse one of all. Them using her mouth. Because the taste lingered and she couldn't get rid of it and she was just so hungry and the fact that they could ruin even that.. And it made it almost nearly impossible to ignore. It in her face, choking her...

They'd taken their break.... Or really she supposed that to them it had been ending for the night and going to get things done. It lasted an hour and a half or so, keeping her pinned to the bed in their mess, alone.. Alone but unable to enjoy any second of it as she laid there trembling and abused and her eyes closed in her own echoed thoughts. Her body pleading for relief from the pain and the twisting sensations. Just as Sans had promised, she hadn't been allowed to climax the entire night. Always bringing her so close and her body needing it so desperately and Chara wasn't sure what she wanted. To climax would be to spite Sans trying to stop her, but doing so would also give him pleasure. Especially if she had done something specifically to achieve it. And she knew that even if she had somehow gotten her body to reach the edge, he would have just started again. It wouldn't have been the relief that her body wanted....

But it hurt. Twisting inside her along with the pain..

But they had returned to the bed room...

But to her greatest relief, they were wearing clothes again. Both of them. But even still, drew closer to the bed.

"What's that look for, pet? Ya lookin' a bit blue..." And black and blue in some places.. the longer she was forced to lie there. And Papyrus had picked her up, holding her and Chara had thought, _the closet, to the closet_ ; almost like a prayer she had thought it. But she'd had no such luck. He had only held her as Sans had changed his sheets. Cleaning up even as she remained covered in sweat and blood and cum though by then mostly dried again against her skin, the taste lingering in her mouth. But they had placed her back down, even on the clean sheets, entrapping her with their bodies, hugging her between them, keeping her trapped and helpless- Unable to hide how their touch worked a shiver through her body.

Sans had pressed his teeth against her hip, chuckling a bit as he held her across the legs, her thighs- Sending sensitive electric waves through her core and up her abdomen. She'd wanted to kick out of the touch, but was too confined and also stopped knowing that was exactly what he wanted her to try. But he could also live with her not moving as well....

Knowing she couldn't win no matter what she did-

Papyrus on the other hand had wrapped around her on the other side, his arm across her chest and cradling her as his chin rested against the top of her head. And she couldn't move.. Couldn't move as the brothers mockingly tried to soothe her, mockingly, tenderly told her goodnight.

And Chara had felt a miserable, betraying stab of heartache. And she couldn't help it, the tears had stung in the back of her eyes. Leaving her to breathe in as evenly as possible as she held herself together. But time had moved forward.... The two skeletons, warm despite the logic, holding her between them.... And she was tired... Hungry... Her heart hurting... and her head throbbing. Same as the rest of her body except for the intense handful of cut sensations up from the center of her thighs.

Just.... trapped. Trapped in the arms of her sleeping would-be murders and this.... This was the worse one yet, she realized. Because they weren't currently hurting her but they were still cutting her close to the core. Awake and still alone even as held close. Sans' breath against her hip, his grip. Papyrus cradling-

She... She wanted to go home.

Even if she didn't know... know if it even existed still at this point. But she had to get home...

Dreamer-

Before it helped her stay focus, but right then in the silence in their mocking arms dragging up memory, she really, really, really, _just_.... It hurt more than helped. And still she fought back the tears. She couldn't cry right now.

And Papyrus continued to pretend to sleep as he held her. Listening... Listening to her varied breathing, her constant need to swallow as she resisted the urge to cry. Feeling how the sensations kept rippling through her from the brothers' touching. Sans was completely passed out, Papyrus could feel it from his soul and magic. He could feel how unworried his brother was about everything. The complete opposite of the constant pulses of sensation he was getting from the girl's magically entrapped soul; the blue light illuminating the entire otherwise dark room with a beautiful light glow. Like a blue glowing ember close to the ceiling.

She was tired too, he could feel. So very tired, but un able to sleep while being touched. The pain. Shame... Her wanting to cry. Can feel it. Hear it. The way her chest was moving against his arm too.

The frantic fear of a trapped human... but what was bugging him was that it wasn't quite, _just_ that...

She gasped lightly as something jumped onto the bed- Papyrus peaked though he had already guessed what it was. The only thing it could be: the cat....... She stared at it from her boney prison, its cold eyes glaring at her as it sat on the very edge of the bed. Its tail flicking. Glaring straight, hatefully through her. She did what she had refused from the beginning, she turned her head towards Papyrus chest and neck.... not wanting to see it watching her. Wanting to hide away from everything and everyone; even the cat.

Papyrus knew he should have chuckled at that. Let her know he was awake and seeing. But he can't quite bring himself to do it. He was too tired, he supposed. Nothing gained by it anyways.. Both of them were just tired....

But he knows that he should.

After all night of her doing her best to keep herself as invulnerable as possible. Even in the tears and her twisting expressions. And that this, in all of it, was true vulnerability.. even as she kept the tears at bay...

But if he wasn't going to do anything he should just ignore it and close his eyes again and sleep. He had to get up in the morning.

But he can't quite seem to with her there. And it wasn't that he was worried or afraid she would do something. That somehow his blue magic would dissolve, and even if it did she would still be trapped and Attackless (the blue magic, the closet, they were all for show after all. She couldn't _escape_ even if she was allowed to roam free through the house).

But he can't quite sleep and he can't quite engage with her either. It is just that he can feel that she is awake and it is keeping him awake. It was the problem with being the sensitive one to those around him. Sometimes, he could know even across the hall when his brother had woken up from a nightmare. It was beneficial then. Allowing him to help... but this was truly inconvenient.

And he can't stop thinking about his magic either. His healing magic. He has figured that it has something to do with her, perhaps her being human. Perhaps the LV. But his brother now had LV too, and Papyrus had healed people with LV before that too. Alphys for example. So was it... something to do with him? Or if not, he was back to her being human. But it had first felt off with him and his brother after putting her into the closet the first night/early morning.

He would have to talk to Undyne. He'd go see her after work. Before coming home. Sans would possibly get home first then.. Papyrus would have to heal the girl as best he could before he left in the morning. He knew she had still been bleeding a bit....

Perhaps that was why she couldn't sleep, the pain... And probably the fact she couldn't put her guard down with both of them against her like this, but still..

Without thinking, Papyrus Checked her.

*Chara -- ATK 5 DEF

*20/28 HP

*Knows big kids shouldn't cry...

Her reaction was immediate- Her muscles tense and her Defense spiking back up to full. Her hands reached and pushed against his chest, desperate to get away as she panicked at the soulful intrusion she hadn't been anticipating. But Papyrus tightened his grip, keeping her steady. Sans groaned and this stopped her in an instant. The fear of waking him..... Her breath was quick and the cat growled lowly at the side of the bed.

"Shhh." Papyrus hushed. "Just checking your HP..." He continued in a whisper. "Making sure you're not bleeding where can't see..."

Though he had honestly gotten more insight on her than she had perhaps wanted. Some internal pain.

But she did not respond. Tense....

So, Papyrus was getting the silent treatment too, it seemed. Even if he was not as confrontational as his brother. Then again, he supposed he had been acting much like his brother since encountering her. It was just easier that way. And a good guide in how to act around her. Plus it helped his brother have a good time.

He ran his fingers through her hair.

"I truly mean it when I say this, human. Not mocking for once.." He began again softly. "You've done very well. I mean it... Adapting like this. It is no wonder your race has survived for so long. Thought just the fight within you, but you have proven smarter than anticipated..."

But this compliment.. did not seem to sit with her....

"I do mean it." Papyrus reaffirmed.

"....... I know..." She dared to whisper, but he can feel that even still, not uplifted by it in any way. Even more weighted down. But also seemed to close off again, not talking to him anymore.. She was resolved not to. As if he was somehow a forgettable lost cause for something..... yet leaving her feeling worse than before.

"You will have to shower with me tomorrow.." Papyrus told her, immediately making her tense again, even more than before. "It will just be a shower.." He promised. "Only so I can clean you off and heal some more."

And he didn't think about how it would still feel off and he wished he could just use a tablet on her now, but still decided to hold off on it. They were running low nad he was not sure if he would be given more now that Sans' HP was no longer so low.

"I will not be home as early as usual, tomorrow. That is the only reason. It will not be a lewd as my brother would have you do, I assure you."

But still she does not respond. Not nod or anything. Just close her eyes, or he assumes so. He can't rightly see her face like this. But can feel that determined cut off feeling from her Soul.

And Papyrus closed his eyes, ignoring the cat staring just as much as she was trying too. Closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep. Still cradling her upper body and head.

And the hours passed, he assumed both of them had gotten at least a little bit of sleep because he woke up. If you woke up, that means you have to had fallen asleep, right?

But morning came... Sans waking both of them as he played with the girl's legs. Teasing, even so early in the morning.. Smiling at her as she looked down at him miserably before remembering to close her eyes and do best to ignore it even though Papyrus could see that each movement hurt.

And morning came and the brothers rushed to get ready..

And the girl stayed with her head down, not looking at Papyrus as she stood, thought needing the support from both his magic against her soul and her head against his chest as Papyrus washed the two of them down. Doing his best to heal her even as it did indeed feel off. Felt wrong. Healing her as his fingers trailed against her skin. And she did not resist, wanting so desperately to be clean.

Papyrus caught her taking a small glance to his pelvis, seeing her apprehension and fear despite there being nothing there, before looking away from it. Papyrus thought about how inconvenient it had proven to be for her to have everything exposed and easily manipulated at all times. He was truly thankful to be a skeleton and not soft and fleshy like her.

And the morning came... and he gave her a clean down, letting her even to use a bit of toothpaste to clean out the taste in her mouth, using her fingers to spread it around as best she could. Though he had to explain to her that she should not be swallowing it. That it was not food like that, though it did go in her mouth.

Which reminded him, he had to feed her too...

Giving her another slice of lasagna, and although he was certain it would taste strange right after cleaning her mouth but she did not seem to care, only gagging slightly, even as she wolfed it down.

"She gives your food more attention than she is willing to give the both of us." Sans mocked, leaning in close against her. Forcing her to stop what she was doing. Going rigid and staring firmly at the food in front of her... Before starting to eat it again, despite Sans being so close to her face. Which only made Sans grip at the back of her neck, trying to force her to pay attention to him. She only ate.

Papyrus thought that part of her was also afraid Sans would take it away before she could finish. And the expression on his brother's face, he assumed it was a possibility too.

Sans pulled her head back, forcing her away from that precious last bite.

"I think it's time to leave, bro..." Chara held onto the fork, wanting to desperately to stab him with it but knowing that was what he wanted and she would lose privileges that she needed to cling to... She let the fork clatter onto the plate, but quickly grabbed the last bite and shoved it into her mouth before he could force her to stand and be too far away. Sans chuckled but did not let up his grip. Papyrus followed, watching.. As his brother tossed her, taking away her towel as she fell, into the closet. "Have a nice day, pet." Sans said before walking away. "Lock her and let's go, Paps!"

Papyrus grabbed the door, but he saw what his brother had missed in his haste. The glare returning for just a moment. Serious and hard.... Papyrus smiled weakly for her... and the glare disappeared, something sad on her expression before it fell back into that closed off stare. And Papyrus simply ignored it and shut the door. Locking it secure.

 


	22. It's Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And vague....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the author gave up on the "The" format for chapters.....  
> Because she refused to stop naming the chapters entirely.....  
> It's complicated

"You okay?"

The scene had entirely flipped with Sans the own meeting Alphys at her locker. His arms cross. His expression serious and concerned. Wanting an honest answer...

But she was standing up at his call, and standing up tall, he could see that she had pulled herself together. Just like she always did.

It was the most amazing thing about her.

That anxiety she had was killer but in no way did Sans consider it truly a weakness like many others would, perhaps taking advantage of it. But Sans knew that was a mistake. Because for all that she struggled with it, she always pulled through. Sans knew her. Even in the midst of chaos, she always knew how to take care of herself. Even when that taking care of herself was taking a step back. A tactical retreat. One needed those in battle sometimes. Sans knew that.

Even if he often had a hard time practicing it.

Well that was why Alphys was the one in charge.

And anyone else the fool if they dared try to get in her way.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing." She said. But Sans wasn't sure how true that nothing was. But at the same time, what mattered most was that the fine part was honest- "It's complicated." Alphys amended, seeing his questioning gaze. "But it really doesn't mean anything. All that matters is she is with you and she's going to be destroyed.."

Sans laughed.

"Yeah... She's got this new tactic though, basically turning off and giving me this silent treatment. Which isn't the easiest to do when she's moaning like a slut against you, but it is still super fucking annoying if I'm honest." He put a hand behind the back of his neck. "It kinda pissed me off a bit..."

"..."

"What?" Sans prodded. "You really okay?"

Alphys smiled softly, staring into her locker as she laughed a bit to herself... He could see the nostalgia in her expression.

"Just remembering..." She told him. "... You... You want to know about Chara, right?"

"Uh. Duh! More ammo you can give me the better." She smiled a bit more and shook her head.

"It's more like.. ammo against me." She admitted.

"Even better, shoot yourself in the foot, please, please." Sans teased.

"Well.. The first time I encountered Chara, shit, Gaster was still around. And I wasn't even a captain yet."

"Oh wow, that's awhile ago." Sans agreed.

Years and years in fact.

"Yeah. I don't think I knew even Undyne then, let alone the two of you. But... Yeah. Gaster..." She sighed. Sans could tell that despite the fact that she hadn't been close to him in any way besides a mentor and boss, he supposed the knowing fact that he wasn't just in fact dead like everyone claimed would really hound on her if she let it. "I really wanted to prove myself, right? I got kinda reckless. I even worked later shifts. It was kinda all I had back then. To prove I wasn't weak or fell apart too easily.. You know... me stuff. So I got these little reports of humans in this one area, not even on my own patrol, and of course, I went head first into it."

"And you fought Chara..."

"Well... not exactly. It's complicated. It really... wasn't much of a fight back then." Sans tilted his head curiously.

"Oh?"

"No. She... I couldn't land a single blow on her. And worse yet, she wasn't even fighting back really. Just...That runt, she basically was all over me. Sticking her tongue out and teasing as she weaved through my attacks. She was just too fast. I was so humiliated... And so pissed off."

So Chara had gotten away... And gave Alphys anxiety and rage over it.. and she had hunted her over and over to correct the mistake and make it right but didn't find her...

"I spent hours coming back to that area to find her. Remember I was young and stupid and eager to prove myself. So.. yeah. Chara has kinda been there from the start. The actual start..." She hesitated... "And now that I'm more experienced I get why she put on a show anyways. She wanted me to get worked up and keep coming back to that spot. It was a distraction. She kept me from looking into other places. And I fell for it like a dumbass."

"I... wouldn't have even thought about that. I would have just been pissed too and probably had done the same thing."

"Yeah. Which is why I'm still the boss. And I wasn't back then."

"Hehheh. Yeah. But that is crazy Alphys. She's been evading you from the start and now she's right there trapped in front of you."

"Hmmm.. That was just... the first time. The second time was a couple of years ago. And it's... a bit cloudy actually. It was when I was basically.. really hyped on LOVE." Sans thought this over a second, thinking that perhaps her warnings from the other day about LOVE maybe didn't have everything to do with Gaster but maybe a bit about herself afterall... "I couldn't get enough basically at the time."

And with Gaster in his own little spiral, he had done nothing to stop it. Maybe encourage it...

"And it was different than the last time. She had LOVE too and it was actually a fight this time and well... I don't want to talk about it actually..." She was cringing, really, really, really not wanting to talk about it.

Sans only nodded.

"Fair enough." He could understand that.

"Got a scar out of it though. This one on my shoulder." She shifted. "And its funny because the one next to it is from facing her too." And there they were. Two scars. One a long thin slash across her scales and the other looked almost like a grazing bullet wound.

"They didn't heal?" Alphys shrugged.

"I wasn't really into letting myself be healed at that point. The pride thing. The slash is a knife wound. A nasty one. That scarred even with the healing..." She seemed to want to say something else about it but thought better and Sans didn't prod. "Either way. I scarred her and she scarred me. But she got away... It's... complicated."

"So you keep saying. But... that means you're not the one to capture her? Someone else did.. That's what you're so embarassed about ain't it? Or just upset someone else stole your chance."

Alphys laughed lightly.

"Yeah... But it just... It really is more complicated than that." Perhaps not like that all, she reasoned to herself.

Not like that at all. But it was better to let him keep thinking it. The truth really didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was with Sans and Papyrus and she was going to be destroyed... There was nothing to do about anything.

"I was just shook seeing her yesterday is all... And I just know what you're not gonna win, Sans. Not in the way that you want." But maybe.. more than that... Maybe she just really... Didn't want him to win.

Out of all the humans Papyrus could have gotten. All the humans in this stupid war... And they had to go grab one of the humans she could probably say... she honestly respected.

And it was complicated.

But she thought it better than to let Sans know. And thought that, even if she couldn't and wouldn't do anything to get her out of this situation, at the very least.. Yeah. She would keep Chara's secret. About how she was taken into custody and why. For who...

"She's just a human, though. Can't really do that deep into it." Alphys told him.

"Oh I've been deep into it." Sans jested, smiling widely trying to get her to smile. And she did.

"Psssh.." She shoved him in the face. "For a skeleton you've started to think a lot about your dick... But..." She sighed again. "It really was just weird walking in and seeing a face I actually knew something about. All the others have always been no ones. A day or two. But to see her and someone I chased after for so long and now get her there for weeks at a time... I don't know where I'm going with this, Sans. I'm just going to stop while ahead."

Sans laughed again...

"Ya still want a crack at her right?" He encouraged.

"... I don't... I don't know." She told him. Sans leaned in, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"How about Paps and I have our fun and sometime when you're ready, we can all get together. You, me, Paps and even Undyne. Cuz I already promised the pet you and Undyne could show her the real ropes. Can't let her down right. Us four and her. And that way you have backup. And if you want at her again after that, you can! I think I'm going to keep her a bit even after I break her. Honestly, she feels so good and I mean, Paps did pay for her. Even if it was basically pennies for a human slave."

"Yeah... Yeah, that's true. And a gift from your brother after all.." She managed.

"So yeah. All of us together and if she feels good to you, can have another round... And hey. When I'm done, maybe I'll even give you the honors of killing her. It seems like with all that history you kinda deserve it."

"... No. I think its kind of the opposite. I couldn't catch her remember. It's fine... I don't really need the EXP anyways." But Sans could see she was fidgeting with her claws.

"Okay, Alphys." And it was okay, he wouldn't push her. Besides that meant he could still do it himself. "But if you ever need anything from me. From her. You just let us know."

Alphys smiled again.

"I appreciate that."

She would have also had appreciated the universe not doing this to her though. She'd been having a hard enough time trying to just forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I typed this out half way and my computer went bllllaaaaaagh on me for no reason it seems and I lost it all cuz I did not save. But here we go again.  
> It's not as good.  
> But I am too excited for next chapter.


	23. Monster Candy and A Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get it. Humans are evil. How many times do we have to say it?  
> Well a lot.  
> She knows Papyrus really, really well after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Papyrus still does not have a clue as to what he is dealing with and she is resolved to make sure it stays that way.

_"Sans! Sans! Sans!" Papyrus was shaking him in the cot. Sans only moaned and turned over, knowing exactly the reaction he would get: "Saaans. Wake up you lazy bones, wake up." Sans_ opened a single eye as someone else across the room complained and demanded Papyrus to shut up. It was too early. And while Sans agreed-

"How about you shut your fucking whining, Drake." Sans spat across the room. He smiled lazily at his brother though. "Sup?"

"I'll tell you what's sup, brother. There is a new arrival at the front entrance." Sans shrugged.

"Not the first sucker and won't be the last." He yawned. "I'm sure I'll meet whoever later. Probably a few punches too."

"No, no. Well I mean... Perhaps, probably. But that isn't just why I woke you! I heard some of the older kids; they seem to have more information."

"They always seem to have more information." Sans countered.

"But I heard them. She and her family were caught up in a human attack."

"Kinda how most of us get here, yeah."

"But they say she actually fought back. She has LOVE, Sans!" Sans froze, his interest pulled in now drastically.

"What?" Drake called from across the room. Apparently his interest too, sitting up in his cot.

"Yes, yes! Someone who has actually fought against humans! Just like you want to!"

Sans stayed sitting with his hands back against the bed, if he had lips he would have been biting at them. This could either be just what he wanted or could be his worse nightmare. Someone stronger. More experienced... Someone to train with if he could turst 'em, or somebody to be on guard against.

"Did you get anything else?"

"Well... Not really. Only that she is in the older group."

Which meant that she'd had more to lose.. Farther to fall to get to this place....

"We'll avoid her." Sans reasoned.

Because it was those sorts of people that always ended up being more hassle than they were worth. Losing things and being angry when they had once been lucky enough to even have anything to lose to begin with. Sans felt no pity for people like that.

"We have no clue what type of person she could be."

"Well avoiding her doesn't sound like a good way to countering that fact." Sans chuckled.

"Yeah well... It's better to avoid the situation for now. She ain't going anywhere is she? I guess a relative could always pop up soon but then that means she's leaving. So for now, while things are chaotic, we should probably leave her be."

Papyrus sat on this side of the cot, thinking... About the same things Sans was but in the opposite direction. Her being older.... Having more to lose... Knowing how it was to fight...

"She probably really needs a friend." He reasoned. Sans sighed.

"She hasn't grown up the same as us. Spoiled. She'll probably expect a lot outta you."

"Oh... I was thinking that if she grew up out of here, she wouldn't have some of their nasty habits."

That was... a fair point.

"Well maybe." Perhaps Sans had been judging too fast. And if she had had the guts to face off attackers like the rumor said, well... Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to at least take a look into her. "Let's just be cautious right?"

'Yes, of course. Always."

"Did you get a good look at her?"

"No..., there were too many people crowding."

"yeah that'll be another problem we have to consider." Sans mumbled under his breath. "But uh.... did you get a name?"

"I think it was like.. Undies or something." Sans snickered.

"what?" He breathed. It was too early for this but at the same time- "It does not even matter what her name is now, that's it. That is what we call her. Forever and ever."

Papyrus put his hands on his hips.

"That is no way to make friends, brother! Making fun of her name before even meeting her!" But Sans was still laughing to himself and falling back onto the bed with his hands cupped supportively at the back of his neck. "Oh I know. Undyne. It was Undyne..."

"Nope. Too late." Sans said with a smile, but he could tell by his brother's smile that he hadn't forgotten her name at all. He'd thought of the undies thing first and had done it specifically to entertain him. "Can't even take her seriously anymore. You've ruined all her chances to impress, Paps."

"Well I'm sure she'll find some way to prove you wrong?" Sans just shrugged.

"She still can't make me care." Sans offered.

"True.... But I still think.... She probably needs someone to care right now. Someone whose not trying just to use her..."

"....... You can only try, Paps. Just don't be disappointed too much. Okay?" Papyrus nodded.

"Okay."

* * *

The lab was probably one of Papyrus' least favorite places and it was always difficult because deep within it was always one of his favorite people. But the atmosphere was stifling. Like a large sapping void. He could not name it. But it was as if the top part of the building, the part above the surface, was like a giant seal. Designed to protect the surface world from all the darkness that had been gathered there from different areas. All of it gathered... in order to find at least some way to get something good out of it all.

That was the one highlight of the lab and made his visits tolerable. All that gathered evil, to be dug through in order to find a single ray of goodness............. Anything awful, you could always somehow find a silver lining from it. That was what Papyrus believed.

Even if he could no longer believe that anyone could be a great person if they just tried, unable to afford that thought, he could at least hold on to the belief that in it all at least you could always find a point to the madness. And if there was no point, you could make your own.

Like human captives and human slaves to begin with. Humans only served to destroy. It was known. But cut their claws and intent and they were basically harmless. You could train them, to do anything you said to survive because that was at their heart their very nature, to just survive no matter what the cost. Even to obey. And if not trained, still there remained so much to find and to learn... Which was where the lab came in.

And Undyne.

That was the other thing the lab had. The reasons for his occasional visits. Sometimes pulling Undyne up from the depths of her hard work..... She never gave him access to the lower levels and a part of him was glad even if he was still curious as to what she had to put up with.

Because for all that Chara was, Papyrus knew that every human brought here was already much, much worse. Though with her attitude, if she had just been given the chance to gain more LOVE, she would have belonged here as well... Perhaps that was the case with all humans... Just given enough chance and time.

That was just the way they were.....

And there was Undyne.....

Papyrus was waiting in the upper levels of the lab, someone having paged her despite him telling them to not bother her too much. He was fidgeting with his fingers in his gloves, feeling bad despite knowing for a fact that the moment she saw him and saw this she would push it away and tell him not to worry, just like she did every time. Telling him that she needed a break anyways and anything for him.

Papyrus waited in her front office.... Waiting. He heard her rushing down the hall-

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa _annnnnnddd_ -" He heard her rushing down the hall. "Whose in my office?" She demanded, her head popping from around the corner, her eyes glaring through her glass lenses. Immediately, though.. She smiled. "Ah."

She entered the room, hands in the pockets of her lab coat, watching him over the rim of her glasses.

"Fuhu, you look absolutely exhausted. Hard day at work? Sleeping well?" Oh. Right. He was kind of exhausted.

"I didn't sleep much the last two nights." He admitted. "And I've worked."

"Let's make some tea." She offered. Papyrus shrugged.

"Alright." He began to stand up, only to have a blue hand slamming against his shoulder.

"Sit yourself right back down!" She ordered. "You're the one whose exhausted for once, let me."

"But, I-" It was too late though. She was gone out of the room. And Papyrus was sitting alone, waiting.

She looked like she was in a very good mood. He hopes her recent project was going well... Though he knew that if he asked it would be words he didn't understand and she would half dodge the answer to begin with. He thought it made her self conscious to talk about it... for fear that nothing would come out of it in the end. But he was proud of her always, regardless. Proud to have someone so smart and resilient as his friend.

Because maybe not everyone could change and maybe half the world was trying to use you in some way, but he would also glad that out of all his accomplishments, out of all of them he really could call Undyne, The Royal Scientist, smartest and one of the kindest and hard working people he knew... his best friend.

* * *

 

He'd seen the girl several times now, mostly when they ate. She always had a serious and cold expression, ignoring each and every person who tried to talk to her. Asking their prying questions. About the humans she had faced. About how LOVE felt. About what her life had been like.....

No matter how much the adults scattered them all and their personal, inconsiderate prying questions.

And Papyrus stayed back, still watching. Curious too, but also... if he watched her enough. Even from a distance... he could see something very hurt.

He knew he was different sometimes. Being able to see things when others could not. Feel it. He had learned a long time ago that sometimes it was better to ignore it. Pretend he didn't. For the sake of everyone and himself. But he always could pick up on pain more easily. And even from his distant spot... he could feel hers.

All those questions the others asked and in his own mind.... But he knew one that had not been asked and it was the one on his mind most often, perhaps always there.

The girl had slipped out of the lunch hall, taking her tray with her, off to eat somewhere else on her own. Papyrus waited behind, sitting next to his brother who had finished and was dozing off against the table... waiting for desert... Well.. If there was desert.

It didn't happen often. Just often enough to keep everyone's spirits.

Today it was just a bit of monster candy... The usual, actually. Papyrus took two, slipped one into Sans' hand, his boney fingers wrapping around it protectively even as he slept. And with that, Papyrus took his chance to leave.

* * *

 

"Here!" Undyne said as she re-entered the office, sliding the tray with tea on it in front of him. And in the middle, a bowl of assorted monster candy.... Just like always. "So.. How have you been? It's been a week and a half. I've seen all your messages but I've been swamped. But! Alphys gave me your lasagna when she swung by! It was not enough. You should have packed me two slices you punk!" She protested. Papyrus only laughed and shook his head.

"Then how am I to lure you out of your den if you have everything you need?"

"You don't have to lure me out of anywhere. I'm here whenever you want and need."

"Yes..." Papyrus said, feeling guilty. He knew that they were friends. The best of friends. But whenever he needed something from someone he cared about he always, always felt guilty about it. She caught on.

"I know that look. Stop it right now, that stupid guilt of yours. What is it that you need?"

"Well. You see." She was taking a sip of tea and he followed suit, to stall. "I have a question to ask you. About magic. You're the smartest person I know after all. But you see. Well, Alphys told you about the human I got for Sans yes?"

Undyne froze.

And the air...

She sat there with the teacup in her fingers, half raised in front of her. Something in her drastically changed.

"No.." She said. "No she didn't. Not even the last two days when she visited... _What_ human?" Papyrus blinked, genuinely surprised.

"Oh. I suppose she did not want to worry you. With you being so busy-"

"If there is anything to truly worry about it is exactly this. The trouble you three get into without me. So again... _What_ **human**?"

"Oh.. Well.. I got Sans a human.. for his promotion. I messaged you about it. Or maybe... Maybe I didn't...."

Why though? That was the biggest thing in his life at the moment... He couldn't explain it...

"Well.. At first I wanted to do this myself, and make it a surprise. So I told no one. Then I had to get Alphys' help and I just got... caught up in it." He reasoned to himself and to her.

Undyne did not move. Her expression even and watching.

"But I got Sans a human to celebrate his promotion! Something he could have fun with and break. Kind of like what you and Alphys have done in the past!"

"That was only ever a day or two." She told him.

"Well, yes, but.... people have human slaves all the time. She is harmless and we're being careful. She stays locked up in the closet in the hall- well, I emptied it- but she stays there all the time if we're not home. It's fine, I promise."

Undyne lifted the teacup and took another sip. Papyrus did the same, but he could feel that.... she was upset.

"You remember what I've said, don't you?" Papyrus.. didn't understand. "About humans...."

"Oh! Yes, of course. Do not worry, Undyne. I know all that."

"Yes.... You know it." But she didn't seem entirely convinced. "But remember it."

Remember...?

"She is a human. Her entire goal to manipulate everything in her favor. To survive. And right now, you are in her way. Her main goal is to escape. Her main goal is to kill you like you are entirely forgettable. And your brother. And destroy as much as she can before crawling back into her hole ready to fight another day. Every single human is a fighter. Every single human a threat. Every single human a creature with the potential to destroy everything you love and care about and cannot even understand or care what it is that they have destroyed." Her voice was low, serious and grave. "That is why we are not at _war_. A war implies a disagreement that could be put aside and worked through. This is not that. This is kill or be killed."

She took one more sip, closing her eyes.

"No... This is not a war. This is us protecting ourselves from an infestation of creatures that would have wiped us out. Just think of the Prince... Trusting a human only to be betrayed. An innocent, trusting child dead and so many more. The state The Queen is in. Because of what she had to do."

She set the cup down and stared him down.

"I know you, Papyrus. And I love you more than anything. But you are too kind hearted for me to ever feel safe with you in the same building and so close to a human. Any human. They will manipulate you. Parrot the words that they know you want to hear. Anything to convince you to see them as anything other than what they really are. To pull the smoke over your eye sockets. They will do everything to convince you to their side... Everything to convince you that they could be your **_friend_**. And the moment you feel at ease, that is when they will strike.

"That is all wrong, Papyrus. They cannot be your friend even if you wanted to be theirs. They are human. And humans don't understand those things. Humans.... Only care about themselves. And what they can get out of you."

Papyrus looked down at his cup of tea.

"I understand that, Undyne." He told her-

"No matter what she tells you. What she says. What tricks she uses to make you think you can feel something good inside of her... You **cannot** forget that."

"I won't!" Papyrus snapped, genuine anger rising inside of him. He knew she was concerned. She dealt with humans more than anyone he knew. She knew best and he would never ever doubt her! "I'd never doubt you! And most of all! I would never do something to betray my brother and you know it!"

She was stopped again. Thinking this over... but pleased.

"Yes. I know that." She said. "I'm sorry.. That was never what I wanted to imply."

"I forgive you... And I do understand your concern... When I have seen the fear in Chara's expression-"

"No." She cut in. "Do not use its claimed name. That will only give them more power over you."

"Oh... Yes, I suppose that makes sense. Well, the human... The human sometimes, I see her fear and it is hard to believe that it isn't just fear of her own survival. But you also see her underlying intent as well, and I remember when we changed collars- and she has actually threatened us. And... it is a little bit easier to believe."

"As it should be believed." She told him.

There was a moment of silence........

"You will keep conversation with the human as limited as possible." She instructed finally.

"Oh... I don't think that will be a problem. She's been giving us the silent treatment. There haven't been any real conversations." But he wasn't so sure that this was true... He had twice already tried to engage the human in conversation and both times it had felt... peculiar.

"Good." Undyne said. "Keep it that way. I know you are curious but it is best to not give her any more power. All she has in her words Papyrus. Remember that." He only nodded.

"I actually came here for a reason." He said, deciding to change topics. But maybe it wasn't so changed after all- "I think it has to do with the human..."

"What is it?"

"Well.... I've tried using my healing magic on her, and other people too, since I brought her home. But it feels... off. Wrong. Like I can't connect as well with people. It is barely there, just barely. But I can feel it."

"It is because before now you're magic has never interacted with a human Soul. There is nothing good and natural about them, Papyrus. As long as she is there, your magic will always feel off. Especially the more she tries to manipulate you. You'll start to not be able to trust your own feelings at times. Another reason I am so adamant that you listen to me. Trust nothing that is going on around her. Humans are nothing but toxic."

"Oh...." That was terrifying. Healing magic was his strongest attribute... Being able to feel things and acutely interpret them... He relied on that a lot. Especially his ability to see things that others couldn't. Even if half of the time he was forced to pretend.... He prided himself in knowing more than he let on. Even if he didn't always let himself in on that he knew to make it easier. But this... This was terrifying. To think a single human could cloud your judgment like that. Everything you knew. "The collar doesn't help with that?"

She shook her head.

"Unfortunately no. The collar only masks things to begin with, not gets rid of them... But....." She hummed. "I want to go with you."

"What?"

"Home. I want to go home with you. It's been awhile, I need to get out of the lab. But I will not be able to rest or focus if I do not make myself as clear as possible. You will be able to see what I mean."

"Oh!" Papyrus found himself feeling more excited. This was not what he was expecting.

"But before I forget, I suggest you do not use your healing magic on her as much as possible. Just. Do not get close to her as much as possible. For me. Please. I'll worry."

"Don't." He told her. "I won't. Besides, like I said she's been giving us the silent treatment. And I think after how the last two days have gone and what we've already done to her, I don't think her acting like she wants to be friends would fool anyone."

Undyne smiled at him. The softest and most affectionate smile he had seen from her in a long, long time. As if to tell him that... She still believed that all in all, it could still convince him.

* * *

 

"Hey!" Papyrus called, finally finding her. Alone. In a dark corner with her only half eatin tray and her forceful and suspicious glare. "Y-You left the dinner hall early. You shouldn't do that. They sometimes have deserts that they don't tell you about until its time. They like to make it a surprise but it is annoying when you wait and there isn't anything. But! Here! I brought you some!"

He stuck out his hand, the monster candy........

She did not move to take it.

"Go away." She told him. "I'm not answering any of your stupid, dumb questions so you can forget it. Take your candy with you."

Papyrus sighed and lowered his gaze even as he kept his hand held out to her.

"I know that a lot of times, people only do nice things because they want something from you. And I can't lie and say I'm not curious about all the things everyone else has asked... but at the same time, nobody has asked you the most important thing."

"And I'm not interested, now leave. You're not getting any answers from me!"

"Well I don't need an answer. I already know it." Her eyes narrowed, not sure of what he meant. "But even when you know the answer to this question, I think it is still important for you to ask it. In fact! I think it is even more important when you know the answer."

"And what answer is that?" She dared him.

"No." There was a tense moment, the confusion in her expression and she shook her head.

"No, what?"

"No is the answer. The answer to the question is no." She pursed her lips, knowing he wanted her to ask what the question was but at the same time she had already made herself very clear in her stance on questions... But at the same time. There was something off about this kid.

"Alright. Fine. What's the question?"

"Are you okay?"

Her expression fell, Papyrus could see the shock but he could also feel the pain.

"It's a stupid, obvious question." He agreed. "But it is also very important. I do it with my brother a lot. If you ask it, especially when you know that the answer is no. It lets the other person know that they have someone else thinking about them. And it offers them the chance to talk about it. Or they can keep it to themselves... but even then they still know they are not alone if they don't want to be. So...." He lifted the monster candy out closer to her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said, but her voice was cracking.

"Okay..." Papyrus told her. "I have an extra monster candy. Would you like to have it? I don't mind."

"What do you want?" She demanded.

"...... My brother has this dream he likes to repeat between us a lot. He wants to grow up and join the royal guard. He wants to get us out of here. So we don't have to depend on anyone.. But I think the only thing I really want is for us to stay together and make some really good friends." She faltered, not expecting such a wide answer to that question-

"But what do you want now? From _me_."

"Well. I want to make friends. That doesn't have to wait until we are out of here, does it?" She was snarling at him.

"And why _me_?" She stressed again. "Because I have LOVE and you think it would be cool and gain you some points in whatever hell of a game that runs this stupid place?"

"Because I think you really need one. A friend." Once again, her expression fell.

"You.... You are either a giant fool or...." She squinted, but this time as if she was trying to see him clearly. "Or really good at lying."

"No... I know it doesn't always work. But that doesn't mean we should stop offering right? Like this monster candy. I can only keep offering out my hand I cannot force you to accept it." She looked down at his hand, before finally, taking the offered candy and popping it into her mouth.

"... Thank you." She murmured.

"You're welcome! I'm Papyrus by the way. My brother Sans and I have a cot a few doors down from you."

"Just a cot?"

"Well. We have two. But we share a lot." There was an awkward moment of silence. "May I sit with you or would you like to be alone?"

"Alone." She told him. Still eyeing him with a bit of suspicion. Papyrus nodded and turned to leave.

"Okay. Just find me if you need anything else!" He told her as he went, not lingering and risk making her feel any more self conscious than he could already feel that she was-

And she stared, watching him go... Candy sweet in her mouth. And very, very confused. But at the same time..... Touched. Tears were working into her eyes and she blinked them back furiously.

 

* * *

 

"Monster candy?" Undyne asked, offering him another piece as they prepared their things to leave. He knew it was her way of indirectly apologizing, again, for her serious and demanding tone.

He accepted it gladly.

"Of course."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to me: Make this super dramatic and focus on Undyne  
> Me writing: Lol, Papyrus I am going to cry you are to good to be in this story doing the things you do. Oh right and Undyne is here finally. Yay.


	24. The Second Worst Memory and A Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ......... There is a reason Alphys didn't want to talk about her second fight with Chara.....

* * *

There was nothing but darkness all around her except the smallest thin line of light at the bottom of the door. But not much. It was barely there.....

There was nothing but darkness and one thin line of soft light and the soft patter of four paws behind the door from what she knew was the cat. Still very upset by her existence and keeping guard. Just in case.

Chara sat with her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her knees as she buried her face. Only wanting darkness. Nothing but darkness. Not the lying light. Not the stupid cat. To not be aware. Of how she was cold but the blanket beneath her smelled from her long, anguished day before and she refused to wrap herself in it. Of how because of that she was still naked except for the tight collar around her neck. Of how she was incredibly alone and time moved on as slow as possible around her but at the same time she wished she could slow it down even more. Because she was alone but someone coming to open the door would be worse.

But she had nothing but her fear and the darkness around her. And the soreness and pain.

But it was better than yesterday. Yesterday in her half asleep in and out mind with her own smell and so much, so, so much pain.

At least this time Papyrus had healed her as best he could before he went to work and not after.

But she was hungry again. So hungry. Always hungry. Though that was really nothing new.

Chara just didn't have anything to distract her from it in this place. She'd given up slamming against the door. The lock was too secure. She couldn't get enough force- And she couldn't do nothing but let her mind ease into nothingness. She couldn't think about the present reality, it was too frightening and she still had no plans in how to change it. She couldn't think about the past... it was too painful.

The cat at the door did not help.

She just stayed sitting in the corner, hiding her face from nothing but the darkness... still incredibly scared and alone. Just wishing she wasn't alone.

The cat was clawing at the door, digging its nails loudly.

"Just leave me alone..." She told the door softly...

Please.

The cat just meowed and dug nails in deeper. Tears started to build up in the back of Chara's eyes.

"I said." She said stronger this time. "Leave me. Alone!!" The cat only hissed. Chara kicked her leg out, hitting the door. Again and again. "Leave me alone!"

She stopped kicking and bit down forcefully on her bottom lip as it trembled. And she hid her face against in her knees, falling over onto her side as she tried not to cry.

"You and your... stupid four paws. And stupid.. contrived stupid shtick." The first tear had escaped, down the side of her face, into her ear against the floor. She let herself say it out loud. "I miss you."

The cat meowed and she glared at the thin line of light and the cat behind it.

"You, on the other hand, can go choke." She ordered.

Another fitful growled meow. But then it scampered off forcefully and Chara held her breath. Her eyes wide. She couldn't hear the sound of the garage more than feel it. More than imagine it because she knew it was there.

Her heart was pounding. She sat up, not wanting to be caught curled up on herself. She could hear movement somewhere.... And then footsteps down the hall. Coming closer.

It was Sans and she knew it. Papyrus had made it vaguely clear that he would not be home first this time. It was Sans. No shower and waiting dread, just Sans...

There was a knock on the closet door and she tensed even as she jumped at the unexpected sound.

"Awake in there, pet?" He asked. Without thinking, she kicked the door again. He only laughed. The sound made her stomach twist. She shouldn't have done it. Giving him what he wanted...

She waited for the door to open, but she still heard footsteps. Walking away. Down the hall. To his room.

Her breathing was qucik and uneven and she couldn't help but hug herself against around the knees. And waited.... Still dreading and waiting. A minute or two later she heard him coming back and she tried so hard to make her mind drift. For her mind to get back into its distancing groove.

It was just pain.

Dreamer.

Pain.

Refuse to give him what he wanted.

............ She had no clue what she was doing...........

But he didn't open the door again either. But taking his time to walk past. Making sure she knew he was there with each movement. But he left.... She figured he was making his way towards the kitchen.

She wondered if he was going to eat even more lasagna...

Her stomach twisted, clenched, but desperate at the thought.

She was starving.... She didn't think that was a lie either. At least in the prison they'd fed her twice a day. Now she didn't know if they would remember to feed her before... before.... before they....

Sans didn't come back like she expected. She sat there waiting. And waiting.... Time trudged on. Her heart never resting for a moment. Never ever allowing herself to hope that he had left again. Had no plans for her tonight and would just leave her there. In that darkness. Alone.

She'd rather be alone. Just let her be there alone...

* * *

 

Sans sat watching the tv, catching up on the newest Napstaton release... eating his left over lasagna while keeping a metaphorical ear out just in case Papyrus came home to catch him.

"We have a table and there are two chairs up against the island in the kitchen, brother please!"

He was also secretly hoping Papyrus would make something else soon because while he was ecstatic about this lasagna's existence, he was also.... needing something else after so much of it. Luckily there wasn't that much left... but even so...

At least it had been edible leftovers this go around.

He finished the last bite and during the commercial break he made his way into the kitchen to clean it quickly and race back to the tv. It had been months since Napstaton had put out anything. Apparently the group had been having internal struggles but were back in business and that was honestly all Sans cared about.

And it gave him something to do as he let the girl in the closet sit in her own fear.

If she was going to do her best to spoil his fun... Well...

There'd also been laundry to do. And food was important. There'd been people to call.

And well....

Real life stuff didn't stop just because you had a new toy. Unfortunately.

And he had to admit he was a little tired and some mindless tunes and show were a godsend. But they'd have their fun before he went to bed. He couldn't go easy on her that much. But for now... knowingly leaving her in the closet was good enough for him.

Though.... having her out there... with him... and watching the tv at the same time... That was not out of the possibilities, he realized. A bit more fun, even. Huh.

But he had no time to contemplate changing his tactic when he heard the sound of car doors shutting. The cat lifted its head beside him. Sans pet the top of its head.

"Just Paps." He told it. But there had been two doors, he realized. He turned his head at an awkward angle to watch the door.

Undyne smiled at him the moment she entered. A strange sorta smile though. As if she was peering into him.

"Oh. Somebody's out of their little hole. Nice ta see ya. Been a week or two."

"Apparently so." She agreed evenly. The cat jumped off the couch and rushed to her legs. Purring as it rubbed against them. "Hello, my sweet." She said bending down and petting the top of its head.

"You should get out more. Looks like Paps and The Cat of Evil missed ya lots."

"And not you, Sans?" She asked near sweetly. He shrugged.

"Egh. Too much going on. Not to be rude."

"So I've heard. Papyrus tells me you now have a pet."

"Uh.. yeah-"

"Brother! Wait- Is that a napkin on my couch?" Sans turned his head, noting that he had indeed left his napkin there beside him. Busted. "When we have all that table space and the island too."

Sans lifted his hands and shrugged helplessly as he smiled.

"So um. You brought Undyne. Is she staying for dinner? It's more lasagna just so ya know."

Papyrus lifted up the grocery bags he had carried in.

"Yes, but also we shall cook something else later as well! Hopefully... I can succeed in making something else without absolutely destroying it."

"Oh Napstaton is back!" Undyne said coming to sit down on the couch. The cat following dutifully with a slight skip to its gate and settling in beside the two monsters. "I'm so glad they figured it out. Mettaton and Napstablook were really distraught for awhile there but I stopped paying attention."

"Same." Sans conceded.

Papyrus returned from putting the groceries away.

"I am surprised you are not... off playing." Papyrus admitted. Sans feigned an innocent expression.

"You expect me to just.. do some dishes and laundry and start slacking off. I have my duty to pop culture to stay up to date you know." Papyrus hummed.

"I more expected you to make dishes and laundry." He admitted. Sans gasped lightly in mock hurt.

"He's a hardworking soul." Undyne commented. "The laziest hard worker I know." She added.

"Why do all that extra work when ya can get the same results with half the effort." Sans argued.

"Fair." Undyne reasoned.

Papyrus stared at the cat in the spot between them... Contemplating settling down on the floor by his brother's feet. One did not move the cat when it did not want to be moved. Unless you were Undyne. Undyne grabbed the cat and it meowed as she pulled it onto her lap. It settled in a comfortable ball against her, still purring.

"Come on over, Papyrus... There is at least one more act left then we can start what I came here to show you."

"Oh. You got something?" Sans asked, looking over. She eyed him.

"More like the two of you have got something."

"Oh..."

* * *

 

Chara stayed hugging her knees... The darkness and silence incomplete. She had the thin line of light. She heard voices, Papyrus and Sans she assumed, in the other room. It sounded like they had to tv on. A small trail of music, muffled but reaching her. The tune sounded familiar.... Vaguely.. Just vaguely... And of course it just made everything vaguely worse.

And her heart skipped as it stopped though. As she heard movement. Footsteps closing in.

She stood up straight. Her eyes glaring at the door and ready. Ready. She was ready. Not ready but at least she would face it head on. Refuse. She refused, refused, refused-

The door was unlocking. And Chara's red eyes glared. Glared. Even as the door opened and there was too much light and she had to squint and it hurt-

But in an instant-

Chara's racing heart stopped.

Coldness in her stomach as her face fell and she felt, utter terror. Utter, complete terror.

Undyne, in her white lab coat, her hands in her pockets as she tilted her head. The black choker tight around her neck. Red pony tail. Silver rimmed glasses.

And that aura. That cold and off putting, wrong, wrong aura.

Her golden, slinted eyes.

And her appearing smile as she looked down directly at Chara.

"Oh... Well... Seems that the universe is fair after all, isn't it?" She said. Her eyes piercing through Chara straight into the Soul. And Chara couldn't breathe as she immediately drowned in panic. "Hello, C5." Her smile was impossibly, sickening wide. "Did you miss me?"

"Wait. You know her too?" Sans demanded.

"Oh we've met." Undyne said, still staring into the girl's terrified red eyes.

And Papyrus watched from a step or two back and decided right then and there that Chara- the human- was perhaps the unluckiest creature in existence... Or at least, **had to** have had done something to deserve it.

Undyne took a step back from the door, letting it open wider for the three of them to be able to see her.

Chara stayed staring, cowering more into herself, unable to stop it. She couldn't keep her eyes off of Undyne.

"Bring her out." Undyne instructed. Sans leaned into the closet, reaching for her and even though she knew they had blue magic, knew and her struggle didn't mean anything- Chara flailed, trying to get away from him. And away from her...

But Sans was grabbing her forearm painfully and pulling her up to her feet even as she couldn't breathe and she panicked again. And Undyne watched unmoved, her eyes piercing, worse than the cat's... As Sans dragged Chara out of the closet and Papyrus took her other arm, holding her between them.

Her mind was back in the lab. The blindfold finally off of her but already deep within the heart of the building. Being led. Led with a handful of other humans. Off to be evaluated...

Undyne had the same appraising look from then but this time it was more sickening. More pointed and assure and personal and smug.

"Look at her, she's absolutely falling apart again." Sans said, putting a hand beneath Chara's chin.

"Of course she is. She's nothing but a coward and remorseless criminal who hides behind other people." Undyne said coldly. "But there is no one to hide behind now, is there? C5..."

She tilted her head.

"You're entire existence is a crime and it seems that fate agrees."

No, Chara thought. Just Grillby. Grillby agreed.

Because both Udyne and Grillby had silently smoked in anger as she had been sent back. Spared.

Spared by an old, grieving king and he had looked at her in a group of humans so much bigger than her and she hadn't been able to keep her face stoic and forceful.

Silently begging for a miracle.

Or at the very least.. Some sign. Some way to know....

Had any of it been worth it?

And she had been spared...

Only to be sent to a worser fate.

It was very, very hard to think anything different. To cling to any hope. As the most terrifying, merciless monster in the entire world stood across from her. Her would-be executioners holding her tight and standing so she could look Chara's naked and abused body over.

The entire air felt stifled around her. Stifled and off and wrong... There was no other way to describe it. Like looking at some fruit or vegetable you had found and knowing already that while it looked good and whole on the outside, you already knew without seeing that it was rotten and hollow to the core.

Her seeing eyes, her smile... Her teeth like fangs as she spoke-

"Take her to where ever you'll be the most comfortable."

No....

The very idea of _Undyne_ touching her-

"No." She breathed, trying to drag her feet but the brothers kept her held tightly between them, despite not needing both of them to do it. Not even one of them. They could have just summoned her soul and turned her blue but they specifically, specifically took this moment to manhandle her. As she kicked and screamed with all her might.

And Papyrus could feel it, the utter fear and terror.

He had thought it had peaked back when the first time his brother had loomed over her and Papyrus had held her down. He had then thought it had peaked at the mention and sight of Alphys. But this...

It was like having a wild, feral animal in her grasp. So utterly terrified and panicked and would literally do anything to prevent them taking her any farther. Anything. And underneath it all, buried in her chest, perhaps that also included to beg.

But it was drowned out by her furious rage.

And Undyne followed calmly. Absolutely unaffected.

"Come on now, pet. You won't even be this active for me. Makes me jealous." Sans teased.

"Get her away from me! Get off! Get away!" Chara shouted, but the brother were pinning her backwards against the bed. Chara tried to keep kicking, but the two of them... They each had one hand on each of her shoulders and the other hand keeping her legs pinned. And Undyne stood over her.

Unmoved.

Unmoved and yet somehow, excited.

"So what was it you wanted to show us that was a big deal?" Sans asked.

Undyne held out a hand, the bracelet dangling from her wrist as her upturned fingers glowed light blue.

Chara's chest was heaving as her Soul was summoned. And she couldn't call it back. She couldn't flee- not that she would have been able to anyways- as her bright red Soul pulsed in panic and Undyne held it between her fingers. And pull it closer to her.

Chara felt dizzy. The sensation of it moving while she was stuck in place- And dizzy as she panicked. As Undyne. Undyne. Dr. Undyne. Held her soul. She had her Soul. Her soul between her fingers. Her very self.

The glowing red soul pulsed with defiance.

Undyne's other hand joined its partner beneath Chara's soul.. Her soul, her very self, cupped in Undyne's hands.

"A human soul, brothers." She told them. "Don't try this at home."

"I was already told the whole don't underestimate a human soul thing from Alphys. Not gonna play with it, promise." Sans told her. Undyne smiled softly as the red of the soul illuminated her face. "And we have the collar right?"

"Right." Undyne said evenly. "That is exactly why I need you to see this. All of you." She stared directly into Chara's frantic eyes. "All three of you."

She began to press her fingers against Chara's Soul.

Chara felt pressure in her chest but she snarled as she pushed back. But her fear remained clear on her face.

"The two of you are inexperienced so I need you to know that the two of you cannot do this to her soul. Am I understood? You will not touch it. You will use your blue magic. A little bit of handling should be safe but there is too much risk. A human soul is toxic with nothing good inside it and it will harm you without proper care. Am I _understood_?"

"Yes." Papyrus answered for them. She looked at Sans though more seriously. He nodded.

"Like I said, got it."

"Good."

She kept pressing.

"What are you doing?" Papyrus asked.

Undyne kept her eyes fixed on Chara's.

"What I am doing to her soul isn't what is important. It is what _she_ will do to stop me. What she _can_ do. Even with the collar. And that is what I need the two of you to understand. What happens when you up a human in a corner. Why they can never be trusted..."

She kept handling and pressing and Chara... she felt the cold intent seeping through her. The dark tendrils of LOVE and murderous intent leeching into her..

Willing to hurt. Willing to kill. And it was as if it was there in the center of her chest. Attacking her from the inside out. And it was powerful. More powerful that she had ever expected. It was terrible and terrifying...

She felt like petrified stone in it. Staring up at the coldblooded woman above her.

There was nothing she could do. It was as if all the good feelings she had ever known were being sucked out of her. Overshadowed by Undyne's own will.

Because Chara was determined.

But Undyne was determined too.

Determined to hurt her.

And her poor soul, resisting all it could, Chara resisting all she could... She could do nothing as the coldness flooded through her. And the pain started to spread out as it followed.

"You know.. I've been told that this is like forcing you to relive the worse moment of your life." Undyne said, still staring directly into Chara even as she continued to work with the soul between her finger. "And perhaps that is a little extreme for what I need but if it works..."

She said no more.

Chara was beginning to twist in pain against the brothers.

"Be sure to keep holding her down." Undyne instructed. "Especially now."

"Now?" Sans asked.

"Now." Undyne agreed. And Chara watched with squinted eyes- As Undyne stabbed her fingers directly, forcefully, into every side of her soul.

Chara screamed, the pain intense. But then... It only grew. It did not stop. And Undyne squeezed tighter before letting up. Chara panted, but even so, even so...

"It's just pain.." She panted. "Just..."

It was nothing..

But Undyne was still prodding. The pain.. It felt like she was bleeding deep inside her chest. And Undyne was just kneeding it. Making it more tender. Deeper. Her soul was glowing like a ruby ember in Undyne's hand. Pulsing as it reflected that pain. Trying its best to push off Undyne's efforts.

"Now..." Undyne said as if instructing. "Enough warming up."

Her fingers stabbed through Chara's soul, her fingers deep within it to the core.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her entire body arched against the brother's hold before she started to convulse and twist in anyway. Immediate tears in her eyes.

"Shit-" Sans breathed, pressing down farther to contain her but with difficulty as Papyrus tried to do the opposite and recoiled. But only for a moment, pressing Chara back down, but more out of the fear of how her body would contort if he didn't.

She had screamed before, but this. This was piercing. Eardrum shattering. Real, true screaming.

And this time.. The intent flooded through Chara thoroughly. And this time.. this time it really did not stop.

It was like someone had physically stabbed her in the chest. Over and over with several knives at the same time. Set her body aflame- And she was screaming. And then she couldn't scream. The pain too much and cutting all sound off.

And her mind. Her mind flying to so many different places.

She'd said the worse moment in her life. No. No that was not it. All the moments that made up the heart of her. The very essence of who she was as a person. To what had shaped her. Some good, but it was drowned out by the pain. The pain too much! Only allowing her to see and focus on the bad-

Hunger. Alone. Fear. Blood and dust. And dust.. Dust and blood on her hands as her pulse raced. Several different moments all at the same time in her head.

And then loss. Loss. His dust. His-

She could still see Alphys' attack racing towards her. The second time they had fought- That four legged idiot!!!

Sending bullets. Jumping in the way.

Dust. His dust- Her friend- Her best friend-

And Chara was standing there in the memory, screaming from the pain in her chest, from Undyne. But also from the grief of that moment. That awful moment. The second to last worse moment. Right after she realized she actually, truly cared. Too late. Too soon. Gone-

"TEE ** _EMM-AAAH!!_** "

She didn't even make it past that, to the more recent memory. Because the intent, her own, was racing through her.

Wanting so desperately to kill. And this time there was nothing holding those feelings back. They sparked in her soul. Intense, so intense and vibrant. And the raw energy shot through the air from her soul.

Undyne barely flinched as the energized attack raced from Chara's soul. But the brothers. Each called out in pain as it struck them... Each losing bits of HP even from the indirect contact.

Sans tightened his grip against Chara- Terrified. And Papyrus found himself terrified as well. Terrified from the pain that one person could feel in a single body at one time as the two of them held her down. And also terror at what had just occured...

That attack. That intent. She should not have been able to do that.

The collar around her neck seemed to agree.

Undyne released the Soul, but before Chara could even gasp for breath, the collar flared to life.

The girl convulsed again as the pain raced through her. And it would not stop.

"What-" Papyrus' mind was frantic. He wasn't the one doing that. They had never taken the time to connect Sans' magic to begin with, it was just him and he was not the one doing that! "Stop!" He ordered, and to his relief, the collar cut off to his intent.

The girl lay limp against the bed. Her HP less than even half.

Papyrus stared at her face in what was very close to horror.

"What.. the fuck was that?" Sans said, his voice sounding just as winded as Papyrus' would of if he had been able to speak.

"What a human backed into a corner will do." Undyne said. Still holding the soul. The red, aching, unconscious soul. And Undyne stared.. Unmoved by the scene. "What you need to understand is this. That spark. Not every human can access magic consciously but that does not mean it isn't there. Mages exist. That barrier on Ebott exists. And even with the collars. It is still there. The magic. The LOVE. The collar only suppresses it. But if a human's will is strong enough. That does not matter. But with the collar, they will still immediately regret it. And that is what you will have to explain to her when she wakes up. She tries to get the collar off. She tries to do anything with her intent and actually succeeds. It will not stop. It will shock her and shock her until she is completely subdued or unconscious. That is what she must know. And for the two of you, remember. If she could... If she was strong enough, she would have both of you killed and never regret it. Am I... **_understood_**?"

"Yes, but holy shit! Undyne that was insane!" Sans told her. "You nearly killed her!"

"And so? That is a problem."

"I mean.. not exactly but at the same time yes! I have plans you know!"

"And I have plans on keeping the two of you safe and alive. Well.. Mostly Papyrus. But I would be a little more than upset if something happened to you I suppose." She smiled at Sans and he couldn't help it. He laughed.

"Har." He mocked, but then his smile fell. "But seriously, holy _shit_. You could have warned us."

"Well I did say, worse moment of her life. Did I not? I thought that involved some screaming."

"I meant the hit to my HP! I'm still not use to having more of it! I nearly had a heart attack! You can't just dodge something like that!"

"You lived. And I knew it wouldn't be nearly enough to do any real harm. You lost 1 HP each. 1."

"Which not to long ago was kinda! I don't know! A big deal!!" She smiled.

"You're playing with the big guns now, Sans. You can take a little heat. Besides... Just eat some monster candy."

The girl moaned on the bed, her head rolling.

"Well you still ruined my entire plans for the evening."

"Oh. Why? You're not the ones ready to quit.... Are you? And I don't think her opinion ever mattered... did it?"

Undyne bent down, grasping Chara's face with both hands, the soul floating weakly and abandoned against Chara's stomach as it pulsed lightly, desperate to wake up. Desperate. Knowing it was in danger. Knowing.

Chara's eyes opened slightly. She didn't know where she was. Why was she crying... She'd lost someone- No. No that wasn't right. Was it? She.....

She could barely focus on the blur of blue and red in front of her. And a part of her knew that this was a blessing.

"Give her no rest, boys." The blur instructed. Chara could make out her fanged smile. "All of you deserve it."

Chara didn't even have the energy to be scared but she knew that she should have been. Scared. Very scared for her safety. She could taste blood from the back of her throat. She thought... she thought perhaps she'd also bit her tongue...

But her heart was aching. Wondering...

Where?

"Do everything you want to her and more. And when you're done... I want her soul." Her soul... Chara caught her piercing eyes and gave off the smallest, weakest of whimpers because it hurt to do anything more. It was coming back to her. The present.

Undyne. It was Undyne. Her soul... That had just been a memory. A memory. Years ago, past... A memory. Just a memory and it didn't even matter anymore... Even though the weight of it...

"Be good... C5." Undyne's smile widened, those piercing eyes- piercing- like her fingers into Chara's soul- 'Be good and remember. Stay _determined_."

Chara couldn't protest as Undyne leaned forward, planting her lips against hers. Chara's body jerk despite the pain and exhaustion. Anything to get this demon, the true, real demon off of her. Witch- Her mind frantic with nonono. The fear- The nausea-! Nausea! Her stomach twisting with disgust and she gagged in the back of her throat.

Undyne pulled away, smiling again as she stood up.

"Now then..." She stood up. "Papyrus, you were going to show me some cooking?"

"Oh right... Right..." Papyrus said, standing up after her. But his head was still spinning from everything. Not sure what to be thinking yet but somehow glad to get out of there.

"Or were the two of you planning on having some fun first?" She asked though, cutting off his escape. She said it so casually-

"I don't.. know." He turned towards Sans, squinting.

"I think.. I need a drink." Sans admitted, standing up too. They all looked back down at Chara who despite her best efforts was slipping unconscious again. "Yeah, she ain't going anywhere. Drink."

And they escaped into the hallway, leaving Chara whose mind was slipping back into the past... The heartache stronger than ever...

Where....

_Temmie where are you?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And still, it's complicated.


	25. And she continues to worry..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But maybe if she just keeps saying it, she can just stop.

"But how am I supposed to know when its really done? Its been forever and still its boiling loudly?" Undyne complained, stirring the taco meat one more time as Papyrus continued to cut up lettice and tomatoes.

"I have no clue." Papyrus admitted. "Last time I didn't put enough water in it. This time..." He turned around and peaked, frowning slightly. "Maybe we put too much in."

"We should dump some more spices in-"

"We are not experimenting." He countered. "If there is one thing I have learned from my months of failures it is that one must learn to make it right before changing it up. It is something I have learned the hard way. And besides... the amount of spicest you like in your food is unholy. If you must, do as Sans does and smother your own portion with hot sauce."

"Fuhuhu.."

"No I am serious. It is how I truly measure how much of a success a recipe has been: How much hot sauce does Sans put on it?"

"I'm not gonna lie, it has saved my life on several occasions. Sorry, bro." Sans offered from his position, sitting on one of the chairs against the island as he watched the two cooking, drink in hand.

"I'm not sure how eating pure hot sauce is to save you..." Papyrus countered. Undyne only laughed again, stirring-

"Grrr. I'm turning up the heat though!" She said, twisting the flames to a higher setting.

"How about we trade jobs for awhile?" Papyrus offered. She huffed but agreed, taking the thin sliver of bone from his hand and eyeing the assorted vegetables dangerously before taking up where Papyrus left off. Slicing through them with swift perciscion. And Papyrus stepped over to the stove, immediately turning down the heat just a tad while she was not looking.

There was a single ashen spot above the stove on the ceiling already and he really didn't need another fire started.

If he was honest, sometimes he was surprised she hadn't yet blown up the lab to smithereens but he also knew her work self and her home self did not at all have the same work ethic.

"This is why I live off of dry ramen and tea and the occasional sandwhich." Undyne grumbled to herself.

"I can't judge cuz that would be me if not for Paps.." Sans stated. "Boiled hot dog and mac and cheese." Undyne paused her her slicing, eyeing him.

"Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that you did not mean those two things separate but actually together. Eaten together. In the same dish." Sans just smiled and shrugged.

"And some hot sauce on it for sure." Papyrus agreed, knowing his brother all too well.

"Oh hey, there's an idea!"

Undyne stuck out her tongue in disgust. But quickly settled back into working with the poor tomato in her grasp.

"I saw your workshop hasn't changed at all since the last time I was here." She said to Sans.

"Eh. Been to busy and nothing's really interesting me at the moment."

"Well I know one thing that is interesting you enough to do."

"Heheh.. yeah. Guess so."

"Here." Undyne said as she finished up cutting and turning to Papyrus. "I'm taking your brother out to the car to get the container I brought."

"Oh, okay." Papyrus agreed with a nod, and if he was honest he was glad he didn't have to go along... That thing... unsettled him.. if he was honest.

But he wasn't.

He wasn't even honest or letting himself really, really think over what had happened in the bedroom with Char- The human's soul.

It was over with now, it didn't matter.

"Oh what do you got for me?" Sans asked as he followed Undyne out to the garage-

Undyne opened the backseat of the car and Sans watched as she pulled out a large cylinder like device that was half the size of him.

"That's.... You said container. Right. Soul container. Right, right, that makes sense you said you wanted her soul."

"Exactly." She huffed a bit as she balanced it. "Help me." She ordered. He grabbed the other side and they began to bring it inside the garage.

"Corner." Sans said, twisting their direction that way. They put it down in the dusty corner and took steps back. Undyne was running her hands across her front to even out her clothes again.

"Perfect. Now. When you've had your fun, that is where you shall put it."

"It's bigger than I expected."

"Because it is a portable one."

"Usually portable is you know.... more easily portable."

"fuhu... The ones you are used to seeing on tv and in the lab are smaller because they are hooked up to something that provides power. This one isn't. So... it's bigger but you can take it to go. But you are right... I've been trying my best to find ways to make the portable more portable. But I can only do so much."

"Right. I getcha."

"So you open the top, turn it on, and using your blue magic you will put it inside before sealing it tight. Keep the blue magic on it until the seal is entirely in place. Understand? And do not touch it. A soul with no body is very volitile. And I don't want you to accidentally do somethign stupid like absorb it."

"Heh. Like I said, not a problem, Undies." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Also..." She made her way back to the car and pulled out a metal case. She pulled a key out of her pocket and unlocked it, opening it so he could see inside.

"Oh shit that's a lot of tablets."

"I was told you were running low."

"I wasn't sure we were getting more. Now that I have... you know.... HP."

"This. Is not for you..."

"Oh."

Undyne's eyes were narrow as the two of them walked back into the garage.

"I do not want him healing her excessively." She told Sans.

"Huh? Why not? It's what he is best at."

"Exactly. And with that comes a closer connection to the ones you are healing. You do not want him to get close to her on that kind of level. She will destroy him from the inside out. I've already told him I don't want him healing her so often but I wanted to tell you as well. But you don't want her to have easy access to the tablets either. Hence the lock and key. It is also magic resistent and water tight."

"This is.... a lot of work for one human with a collar. Even with your demonstration, it is just a little too much, Undies." She rolled her eyes again but still, she sighed. "Hey, look... I know we aren't as close as you and Papyrus. Or you and Alphys. Or vice versa with me. We ain't as close as the others. But that doesn't mean you can't tell me everything. Especially if its about Papyrus..."

"Alright.... You're right. This is a lot of concern for one little human. But this is like... my worse nightmare."

"Ain't that a bit of an exaggeration."

"He's going to get himself hurt."

"Papyrus isn't an idiot, Undyne."

"No. No, he isn't. But he is too compassionate and she doesn't deserve any shred of Mercy he will give her."

"I'm not going to force Papyrus to do anything he doesn't want to. And if you're somehow thinking he'll, what? Help her?? My brother, Undyne, my brother. Who is on my side at all times. Who would never do anything to hurt me?? Me. Who used to have 1 HP and still trusted him with my life in everything???"

"No.. No that isn't it."

"The most he will do is stop helping me have fun with her and that's okay. He doesn't have to. I get it. You're right. This isn't really his thing."

"I can't reconcile the two ideas in my head. That he is even doing this to begin with."

"He mostly just watches but he has helped a few times already. You're worries are too much, Undyne. Even if he does coddle her at any point, it would like... be exactly like what she is. She's a pet, Undyne. A toy. He can have his own type of fun with her if he wants. Not gonna stop that."

She was guarded and closed off, the situation still not sitting well with her at all.

"Just don't let him get hurt." She ordered. Sans sighed. "You're right. We are not as close as the others and that is because you are too much like me. We both have too much fight in us. But at the same time, I'm jealous."

"Jealous?"

"You've never ever put your own safety over his. Not like me..." Sans shook his head.

"I don't know what you mean.."

"When I first gained LOVE.... I had just watched the people I cared about dusted. Their dust was in the air around me. And only then did I fight back..."

Sans was staring, the lights in his eyes gone.

"Everyone was dead and only then did I fight back.... You would have never let that happen. So that is why I am telling you now.... Don't let it happen. I do not want that to happen. That is why I am so worried. I don't want to be caught off guard and do nothing... not until it is too late. There is a very real threat inside your house, Sans. So.. Please. Stay safe. And if you have to kill her. **Kill her**. Don't wait until it is too late"

"I won't Undyne.... I promise."

She nodded.

"I'll hold you to that." And she made her way back into the house, signaling that the conversation was over but the fight was most certainly not.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Undyne is slightly a broken record.


	26. Undermined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all agree that was crazy  
> But things go back to "normal"

Darkness again....... Darkness... She was in darkness against but she knew she had to still be alive...

She was in too much pain, too much pain. If she was dead, t wouldn't have been fair for her to still be in so much pain. And she could feel every inch of her body. And while she was barely conscious, she knew.... This darkness.... This darkness wasn't her usual darkness. The closet.

A part of her knew it was because her eyes were shut. Another part knew that it would have been... darkish.. and hazy.. even if her eyes were open. She was pressed like a sandwich between two hard somethings but that filled her half conscious mind with a small comfort. Those two hard somethings were protecting her. Hiding her. Hiding her in this darkness.

The air was dusty, not just from her memory but actually dusty. The kind that gathered with misuse. It was thick in her lungs as she stayed curled up into a tight ball even despite the pain in every part of her being, as she was squished between two firm and unbending somethings...

Her soul was in her chest, she could feel it. Sore and sick and heavy and in so much pain. And she hugged herself... A memory assaulted her. Dust. But even so-

It had just been a memory. A memory...

But the reality that was seeping into her. About the present and now. It had not proven any better for her. Worse, even. Because the other had just been a memory. A memory. A memory that didn't even _matter_ anymore. Didn't matter- Just pain-

She did her best to curl up tighter. Despite the pain it caused. Despite how heavy her body was and resisting to move and the two firm and unbending somethings were tight against her...

Open your eyes, she ordered. Open them...

But she couldn't. She did not want to see.

Because it had just been a memory, but with it, had risen up another thought. A question she did not know how to answer.

Was it worth it? Had anything she had done been worth it?

She didn't dare think on it and she did not want to open her eyes to see what it was that she wanted justification for...

But she knew. She felt it across every inch of her skin. The other memory of something stabbing deep inside her, up through her legs...

She knew where she was. She knew when she was. She did not want to.

So she kept her eyes shut. She stayed in her ignorant darkness. Alone. Alone and in this hazy darkness with the smell of dust. Dust in her memory and dust in her actual lungs.

She laughed a bit. Weakly.. But it only masked the tears in the back of her eyes and in her chest. And she laughed. Laughed through the pain.

But then she heard the door opening....

The sound cut off with a whimper, as she curled as best she could but also to open her eyes. Needing to see. To focus. She had to focus. Focus or you would not survive.

She reluctantly obeyed, her vision blurred-

She'd been crying, she realized. Not just tears in the back of her eyes, no, it had been left over tears from her crying. That was why her breathing was so airy and wet and choking with all of the dust.

And her vision. She saw boots... And her mind began to realize... She was under the bed. She was under Sans' bed. She did not know how she had gotten there. What strength. What reasoning other than to hide. To feel safe like she had back then, in a tight corner but completely hidden. Safe again even though it hurt.

But now it was no longer safe, she was literally trapped and confined underneath the bed. And she couldn't tell whose boots those were. Sans, Papyrus, could they even be Undyne's? Were there more of them in the room and she couldn't focus enough to see them?

The person was bending down, she could feel the hum of ready magic, biting in the air. And she tensed. Ready for her soul to be grabbed. For her to be forced out into the open abruptly and painfully. And she braced for laughter. She had hid. She had given Sans exactly what he wanted....

But it was not Sans...

It was Papyrus. Papyrus bending down and ready to defend himself from anything she threw at him. Even as she remained curled up and ready for his...

The magic in his eye, though, cut off at the sight of her.

And Papyrus.. Papyrus had come back to the room the moment Sans and Undyne had left for the garage. Unable to abait his concern that somehow she would be hurt more than expected, that she would slowly be losing HP. Because the way she had screamed... The way she had tried to get away from the pain in her own chest and whatever memory Undyne had forced her to relive through... That had been too intense and he knew there was a good chance that it had not stopped hurting her HP even though the actual attack itself had stopped.

The girl's expression was absolutely miserable and frightened as she lay curled up beneath the bed. Earlier he had thought of her reaction like a feral animal within his grasp. Now it was just broken. Her chest heaved as a lingering sob worked its way through her. And Papyrus reached out his magic to Check her.

*Chara -- ATK 10 DEF

*9/28 HP

*..... Just wants to know if any of this was worth it...

Papyrus had no clue what that could mean... but he had the suspicion that the answer was no. But her HP was the same as when they had left her. There was nothing Papyrus had left to look into.

He should leave again. Before Sans and Undyne came back. So they could eat.

Oh. She hadn't eaten since morning.....

He was going to starve her to death at this rate, he figured, if he didn't keep reminding himself of that. But there was not much he could do about it right then.

Papyrus picked himself back up, and dusted himself off before making his way towards the door. Though he hesitated a bit before leaving the room, even if he wasn't entirely sure why.

He was in the kitchen when Undyne and Sans came back and to them it was as if he hadn't even left.

　

* * *

 

"And here we are, ma'dam." Papyrus said in his most exaggerated noble voice as he put the car into park outside of the lab... Which doubled as Undyne's living space... "We must do this again sometime. Just hopefully a bit less violence." She smiled at him and leaned in closer, lifting up her arms for a hug. He obliged, hugging her tight.

But somehow, the air was stifled again, stifled. All around the car.

But she was pulling away and still smiling.

"You take care of yourself. And your brother. And remember everything I've ever told you." And there she was, worrying again. "I'd tell you not to offer even a shred of Mercy but I know you... I've been so worried tonight. About you doing that, but overall... I think you not being able to offer Mercy. Even to someone like her. You... You not being able to be yourself. I think that would scare me more. Sans said something like that, you know. About how he wasn't going to force you to do something you didn't want, and he is right. I'm harsh and I am scared about this, but I don't want you to feel pressured to be callous and cruel. That isn't you... Not really. I just want you to do what you have always done. Be smart about your Mercy. Offer it, but at the same time, know that it doesn't always work. Especially with someone like her. You will give her Mercy... and she will only use you for it. Don't let that get to you. Always keep up your defense."

"I understand Undyne." He said for what felt like the millionth time.

"You're always the one Mom-ing me, let me have this, just this once." She prodded. Papyrus laughed.

"Alright, Undies." She punched him lightly.

"Don't you re-start that nonsense now too. He used it three four times today."

"Nyeh... Of course he did."

"Well... I guess I better get out of this car." But she made no move just yet. Just sitting there and Papyrus made no move to rush her. "Did you enjoy the Napstaton show?" She asked suddenly, despite them already having discussed it. Perhaps not in so much detail.

"What we saw of it, yes. I will have to watch a recording later on."

"Did it sound like they had a slightly different style this go around? It seemed a lot less showy. Less lights. It was almost tolerable. I might watch it more often if it stays like that."

"I heard that Napstablook disappeared for several weeks... Perhaps this was a compromise to bring him back. It will be interesting to hear the rest of it and see what else has changed or what has stayed the same. It could have just been the song...." Papyrus noted.

"That's true.. I've always liked Napstablook's stuff better.. When he actually has a chance to shine. Mettaton is just a showy ass... So that rumor may be true. I'd disappear too if I was stuck with him as my cousin." Papyrus laughed and shook his head.

Undyne had twisted in her seat and rested her head against the back of her seat, squinting at him.

"Papyrus.... are you okay?" Papyrus blinked, staring at her with a mixed expression.

"Of course." He said. "Are you?"

"No." She answered honestly. "I'm still worried." He only smiled.

"It will only be a few weeks. If that."

It wouldn't take long though, Undyne thought. Not long at all. Just one glimpse. One allowed thought. If he just opened up for a moment. It would be hours. Just hours. And he would care enough to not be able to hurt the human anymore. But what prevented her from totally being against it was the fact that Sans existed and Sans was right. Papyrus would never do anything to go against that. What she was worried about was just the fact that he could lower is guard. Lower his defense.

And then he could be dead.

But she was worrying too much. Too much. Asgore had her paranoid...

Because for Asgore it had only taken a single broken glance for the human girl to get under his skin. But then again, Asgore was different. An entirely different mindset entirely. She could not even hate him for it even as she violently disagreed. But what could she do?

"Just take care of yourself. And your brother. I'll be around." Papyrus only nodded and the two of them hugged again. Tightly. Undyne groaned as she squeezed. "Sweet Toriel, what am I going to DO with the two of you idiots?"

"Visit us more often to make sure we're okay?" He asked. She laughed.

"Of COURSE. This was all just a ploy to get me out and about!!"

"Part of it." She laughed and punched him in the shoulder again, before finally opening the car door and stepping out.

"I don't have to put up with this manipulation!" She declared.

"See you later when you come to check in on us!" Papyrus called after her, rolling down the window after she had slammed the door.

"You're a sly assholes!" She called back.

"We don't have asses!! The only ass we have is Ch- The human's!"

"Ugggh!" She complained, loudly, before slamming the front door, cutting her off from him. Papyrus laughed again as he closed the window. He took a moment to let out a few loud breaths. Gathering himself back together before starting to drive back towards home. He could not ease the tension in his ribcage though....

When he got home, parking in the driveway... He braced himself to re-enter the house. But his brother was not in his room. The closet was shut and locked. He hummed to himself and searched for his brother. He walked into the kitchen, the light still on, and he walked to the little room past the fridge. Where the door with the cat-flap that led to the backyard was. Sans was sitting on the back porch, his hands behind the back of his neck as he leaned up against some of the railing.

"Sup?" He asked.

"I thought we left you to have your fun?" Papyrus asked.

"Okay. I am not going to lie about this now that Undyne isn't here. But I honestly do not think she would have survived me doing shit to her tonight and I mean that. Maybe physically but mentally she was not even there fully. Where is the fun in that? And also..." He took a deep breath. "Also..."

Papyrus was sitting down on the swing chair, watching Sans curiously.

"We both agree that the shit she did in there was absolutely crazy right? Like that was intense and terrifying, right? Undyne was terrifying right? She didn't even fucking flinch. Like that was _nothing_ to her."

Oh thank Toriel, Papyrus was not alone in this-

"Yes." Papyrus admitted. Feeling very relieved.

"I mean I am impressed but also holy SHIT. The fact that she could get that far into the pet's soul to BEGIN with, like holy SHIT."

"Well it is probably something she has to do in the labs. Or handle souls in general."

"I know that. Not knocking that. Just we all agree that that was terrifying. Even if in a cool type of way...."

"Holy shit." Papyrus echoed.

"Holy SHIT." Sans agreed. "So yeah.... I think that one is something I'm going to have to sleep on. Yeah. Sleep on it. If I can. Sleep and have it reset and we just continue on in the morning more cautiously than before and we just... keep doing what we were doing/"

"Yes." Papyrus agreed, still feeling very relieved and justified in his uncertain and uneasy feelings. He had thought maybe it was just him. But it was nice not to be so confused anymore. "So... How was she, the human, when you went back to her?"

"Huh? Shivering on the mattress still." Sans said. "I just kinda threw her in the closet because I wasn't sure what to do. You should probably look her over before bed. Give her a tablet perhaps. Its in the kitchen with the key." Papyrus nodded, but his mind latching onto what his brother had said.

Her being on the mattress... not under the bed.

Somehow he felt relieved about that......

Because maybe, he reasoned, it had almost, just almost felt unfair to have that be held against her right after something like that and he knew that Sans would have.

That was it. It hadn't just been intense. It had almost been unfair to have her soul be used like that. Even for a human....

How was someone supposed to fight against something stabbing through their very Soul? That was how he kinda felt about the collar to begin with and this had been just that times eleven.

But he dare not let himself linger on that thought. Only accept it and feel relieved and justified and validated in his own uneasy feelings. It was okay anyways. Things would go back to normal tomorrow and he would pretend he never saw her cowering beneath the bed or screaming in agony. He wouldn't hold that against her and neither would Sans and he just felt very... relieved.

They could just go back to the fun atmosphere the last two days had and it would be okay.

The brothers stayed on the porch, watching the night sky... A half hour later when Papyrus opened the closet door, the girl was still curled in on herself but he could see very clearly that she was breathing.. That she was awake.. Still fighting to stay conscious and aware. He bent down and grabbed her shoulder. Making her jump and whimper in fear and pain.

"It is alright human. We're just going to take another shower." That would be a good place to start.

Sans stood watching with a serious expression as Papyrus picked her up.

"Eh this aftercare stuff isn't for me. I'm going to bed. Don't help her escape while I'm asleep, right?" Papyrus huffed in annoyance. "G'night, Paps."

"Goodnight, Boss. _"_ Sans laughed again, the relaxed and jovial feeling returning to the house as the stiffness eased out of it. Sans leaned in close to Chara's hazed over expression.

"Goodnight, pet. Feel better, won'tcha? We've got lots to do before I kill you and I want you at least mostly conscious and in the present while I do 'em." Her eyes closed, her only way of escaping. And Sans laughed again as he ran his fingers through her hair. Sans watched his brother carry the girl towards the shower and he shook his head.

Undyne really had been crazy. If she had just let it be... but if anything, Sans felt like she had almost made her point worse. Undermined it. Wait no, _undyne_ mined it. He shook his head again and rolled his shoulders. Ugh. He was glad to have it just be them again. He knew it shouldn't have bothered him so much, and it really didn't. It really had been more of how... unsettling calm Undyne had been about it. How completely distance from it.... No matter. Off to bed and to forget it and just have his fun later. He'd let Papyrus have his. If he wasn't supposed to let the human get to him, he wouldn't have Undyne get to him either...

.... Papyrus held her in the shower, just like they had that morning, but this time she didn't even give him any second glances. Her eyes completely shut as she leaned up against him.. Barely standing but Papyrus didn't have time to give her a bath that would have probably worked out better. He just wanted the warm water over her quickly because she wouldn't stop shivering and to get off the sweat from his own bones.

When they were done, he dressed quickly and after a reluctant moment, he got her one of his large spare shirts. She did not resist in the slightest as he put it on her, even cooperating as she did her best to lift her hands.

"Good girl." Papyrus stated. But she was in too much pain to truly react. He lead her to the kitchen and set her standing against the table. He didn't think she had it in her to eat with the pain though. He would have to give her the tablet first.

But when he held out the pure, ember-like green tablet out to her she stared at it suspiciously.

"It'll heal." He told her. She only still eyed it.. "Do not make me shove it down your throat." But while it was a threat, it was whispered. Almost like a request....

She took it and popped it into her mouth like a monster candy. But the moment she swallowed-

Her back straightened, her eyes open WIDE as it worked through her, absorbed into her system. She let out a loud breath, her face flushed, and Papyrus caught her in his arms as she fell forward...

"There now, Char-human. There..." Her head fell completely as she passed out. "Hey." He prodded, putting his hands into her wet hair and against her cheek. Trying to wake her. "Hey." But she was out of it completely... But just looking over her he could see the wounds disappearing; He Checked her.

*Chara -- AT 10 DEF

*....

And her HP was steady rising each second as it worked through her..

But it seemed to be that it had simply been too much for her at one time..

To be fair Sans had only ever used half of one at a time.. Papyrus hadn't thought this through enough. He should have known better.

But no matter....

She would just have to wait again for morning to eat something.....

He put her back into the closet, changing the blanket for her and draping it over her. When he stood up, he jumped at the sight of the cat glaring at him. Dangerously, its tail flicking as it growled.

"Things will be back to normal in the morning." Papyrus told the cat. It only flicked its tail one more time. Papyrus closed the closet door and locked it. Thankful to have all of that over with. He took the case of tablets to the bathroom and put it up high and out of reach to anyone but him. But even so, he took the key with him.

And in the morning. Everything was back to how it was. The girl waking, eating breakfast, Sans pestering her, and Papyrus putting her back into her closet and leaving her. But this time she did not glare. She kept her eyes downcast and staring at her knees as she kept her arms wrapped around them, her bangs hiding her face. But even so, Papyrus closed the closet door and locked it behind him.

"You're gonna be late, Paps!" Sans called, revving his engine.

"I most certainly will not." Papyrus countered as he stepped out with his keys. "The Great Papyrus is nothing but poignant."

"Yeah, I don't think that is the word you're looking for." Sans told him.

"PUNCTUAL!" Papyrus corrected quickly.

"Hehehe... And you could say I'm nothing but _pun_ -ctual."

"I think Undyne would say _punk_ -ctual." Papyrus offered. Sans laughed and took off on his bike. And Papyrus smiled, everything feeling right again and the air vibrant with magic as he got in the car and made his way to work.

And when he came home from work, he fed the human again (feeding her the very last of the lasagna to be rid of it), Sans came home, and Papyrus watched as the human slipped into reserved silence as Sans dragged her back to his room.

And Papyrus was still relieved....A general but comfortable routine set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last chapter to get us back rolling. To let time move forward..  
> Maybe a decent stopping point until the weekend cuz here we go again with the school  
> Which I love school but also hate it because I want to write.  
> And make you guys even more confused.  
> That is the general rule here: It will get darker before it gets better. And you will be thoroughly baffled by Chara before you get any real answers. Sorry. XD  
> But you will get answers and flushed out backstory. Promise.  
> You have to be a level 10 friend. Or... force her into more corners.  
> Probably the later.


	27. Already Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ..........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I caved. You're welcome.  
> Also just curious as to how much I can get in before we're a month in.  
> Also it is early morning and this was a mistake.  
> But oh well. I'll take a nap.

_If she was honest, Chara hated him. Honestly hated him. And her too. Mich. Alex. They were both awful. But at the same time, they were the only ones who would_ tolerate her tagging along. And when you were away from the camps having one or two other people by your side was always a bonus.

Not necessarily for the most positive reasons though....

The area was teaming with humans and monsters. Some there for the junk, some there looking for easy EXP. No one was there for the company. But if you had people with you, there was a safety in numbers. But sometimes that safety only came from the fact that if you had other people with you, you didn't have to outrun your pursueors. You just had to outrun the people with you. Or at least find a better place to hide.

You brought people with you to have more bait....

She knew that was the only reason Mich and Alex allowed her to come along with them to what was basically the garbage dump. There was a lot of risk involved venturing here because there were always patrols on top of the scavengers. But it was a risk worth taking because the closer you got to the city and its wall, this was where all the good, more recent trash was.

If you were small enough and brave enough you could even get into the city. Living in the sewers and tunnels. Slipping into the streets at night. Chara had only done that a few times so far though. It was too dangerous if you didn't know your way around and had no one to guide you. And she didn't really trust anyone enough to allow them to guide her. She stayed away as best she could from the actual heavy fighting. Those militant groups that still clung to the idea of wiping monsters out..

So most of all, she was stuck in the Ruins, the camps scattered across the valley. The rivers that flowed both from the mountain itself or from the city. And then the garbage dump.

And that was where they were. Scowering for the best bits and keeping an eye on each other. The three of them not trusting the other in the slightest but at the same time lingering close. Needing the other's eyes. The other's ears. The other's misfortune if they happened to be stumbled upon or stumbled on something else.

"Shit!" And stumbled upon they were.... And at the panicked sound of Mich's voice Chara snapped her head towards the sound. His voice had been shirll and desperate. Even more so than that one time they had found what looked like some giant lizard monster in the water, its teeth jagged. They had almost not seen it. Almost snapped up. And Mich had cursed in surprised fear. They had run just in time all three of them getting away in separate directions.

There was no hard feelings of course. It was expected. That was what you did. That was how you survived. Even Mich and Alex and she had seen the two teenagers cuddling together by fires, sharing soft kisses.

But you did what you had to for you. No matter who the other person was. That was how it worked. That was how you survived.

Having people important to you, that you couldn't afford to lose.

That got you. And them. Killed.

But Chara's stomach was dropping at the sight. Something large, dark, and black sweeping over the horizon.

"Shit, shit, shit!!" Mich said, taking off in the opposite direction, dropping everything in his hands. Alex let out a panicked scream as Mich grabbed her by the arm. But only for a moment. He let her go the moment he realized she had frozen solid in terror.

And Chara.... She stared too, her heart racing.

You knew what it was. Even if you had never seen it before. The darkness that grew darker yet darker as it covered the entire area. Searching. Searching for anyone and anything. Everyone knew what. Everyone knew who. But never had Chara ever heard of him being here. In the dump. This place of no real importance except for the lower ranks who wanted a leg up on EXP.

But here it was. That infernal darkness sweeping in. And if it touched you. He could see you. Know you were there.

She snapped out of her terror, and ran, leaving Alex with not so much as a thought. She heard the girl turn around finally, calling out after Mich and following after him.

She never did see them again.

And Chara raced and raced, but soon she realized that there was no way for her to outrun it. And besides that, she had put herself in a corner. Nowhere to run forward at the walls of garbage around her. Nowhere to run back, only bringing herself closer to the darkness.

Her red eyes were frantic. But there was nowhere to hide. Nowhere safe to hide. She turned to face the approaching wave of darkness.

They said the darkness enveloped you. That it pulled you into a Fight. Bearing your very Soul.

They said that he did not even face you as he fought you. There was darkness and an array of hands. Different colors in their palms.

They said that this was all their was. Hands pointing towards you. Darkness. And it tore you apart if you could not find your way to escape.

Not many escaped.

They said he had too much LOVE.

They said that one hit was all he needed.

That he turned you green and gave you the first turn.

Knowing full well that all your attacks were like nothing to him and the void he created around you.

They said that once the darkness had grasped and pulled forward your soul, you were already dead.

Chara's heart was racing, watching it come closer. And she couldn't breathe. She couldn't run. All she could do was stand there.

Her heart sank and she stood there..... feeling herself hollow out of all feeling.

She was already dead.

　

* * *

 

She was like... dead weight beneath Sans as he caressed her body. Which in and of itself was an unsettling thought, but at the same time... No. No, it was just unsettling.

It wasn't even like it had been two days ago when she had started her plan to give him the silent treatment and piss him off. There he could see her hiding in the back of her own eyes. Having put herself behind a pane of glass.

This was not like that.

She was staring blankly as she panted and no matter what he did he could not get a reaction out of her. Honestly... no fun at all, if he was honest. And he was.

He couldn't help but be super irritated at Undyne. Before she had at least resited mentally. Or had stared at him with her pulse racing and in terror. Now she was sapped of everything. Energy.. Just... everything.

Whatever Undyne had done to her, whatever she had seen, had truly, really, taken something out of her.

Her determination..

She just couldn't keep it up.

He had planned to take it slow again, just enjoy himself and lure her back but this was very.. unsatisfying. Even as he came inside her and she squeezed her eyes shut in disgust. But that was it. He rolled his hips, teasing the idea of forcing her as well but if she was just going to lie there and take it......

Sans groaned as he put his full weight against her, wrapping his arms under her shoulders and angling his face in front of hers. She kept her eyes diverted. The silent tears that had been there since before they had even started were still working their way against her skin as she kept taking in large breaths as she stayed flushed.

And Sans was really, really irritated.

A weeks worth of fun looked like it had now been reduced to days.

Then again, it wasn't over yet. She still hadn't begged. But at the same time, she hadn't said anything either. And not just because of the silent treatment. This one was really, really...

She was like dead weight beneath him and that analogy was just too close to the truth. If she didn't snap out of it soon. If he didn't draw her back out....

Shit it was pitiful watching her beneath him. Honestly killing her now would just be putting her out of her misery.

Sans sighed. Such a waste. They could have broken her... Undyne had just broken her for them. In a matter of minutes.

She would owe him. But then again it wasn't like she didn't have humans to spare.

But he was still bitter.... His first human and she had robbed him of that. A gift from his brother even...

And she had been perfect it had seemed. An idiot.

But thanks to Undyne it seemed that she had figured it out a lot sooner than he would have hoped..

He really didn't know how to draw her back out, to rekindle her desire to fight. She was down and kicking her would just keep her there. But she wasn't enough of an idiot to rise to any baiting compliments or.... whatever...

Sans sighed again and ran his fingers through her hair, petting her head.

"Just say it, pet. I'll just end it."

He would even shatter her soul despite Undyne's adamant claim to her soul.

But if she had ruined his fun, he would only return the favor and ruin hers. That was only fair, he reasoned.

"Just let Alphys have her go at ya and then that's it. All ya gotta go through. You just have to say it."

Because if this was how it stayed, it really was no more fun.

She closed her eyes, swallowing before breathing out... tears still in her shaking chest.

"Just say it and it'll almost be over."

She did not respond.

"Welp, then I guess that means you're up for another round."

"You'd do it anyways..." She whispered. Sans blinked, surprised she had reacted. Rising to the bait.

But still she stayed staring out across the bed, away from him. It hadn't been so much rising to the bait, he supposed. Just empty words of truth.

"I mean, sure. But at least you'd know it would be over sooner." Sans watched her expression. Still staring away from him. Still... "Look. I don't know what Undyne did to make ya so down and out. And I had no clue it was going to go that way. So I'm sorry, kay?" He tried, at that point just really wanting anything from her to chew on.

"You're just upset you didn't get to this point yourself." She stated.

For an idiot she was very perceptive and knew her situation well enough......

"Caught again." Sans admitted. "But still. Come on, pet." He took her face in his hands and forced her to look up at him. She stared near blankly at his chin, not in his eyes though. "Come on. You can't be done yet. You've just barely started."

She did not respond.

"You can't just go back on everything you've worked up to just because of a single bad memory and a bit of pain. You're not dead yet, isn't that enough for you humans?"

She did not resond... Sans frowned, his anger sparking. Anger at her and anger at Undyne.

"Come on, Chara. I refuse to believe you've actually quit until you've said the words."

"Good." She whispered.

"Heh. You'll get bored here, Chara. Just laying there. Moping. If you haven't gotten bored already. I mean, we haven't even gotten to the funnest bits here. And I mean, trust me, then you'll finally quit. But not now." He trailed a hand through her hair again and grunted as he began to press his cock back into her. Her eyes shut, her face flushing at the stimulation as he began to grind inside her again. "Come on, Chara... I know your type, you're, hnngh, very determined, aren't you? Alphys said I couldn't win. You wouldn't w-want to prove her wrong so, hu-heh, soon right?"

He continued to roll his hips, thrusting into her. But she was tense against him this time, less like dead weight.

"You. And all your kind.. Your **race**. You'll never give up. Even if there's, hnn.. absolutely NO benefit to persevering whatsoever. If I can make that clear-" He breathed out heavily, holding tightly to the back of her head, pulling on her hair as he continued to work the tension up her body, her muscles squeezing him tightly. "No matter what, you'll just keep going. Not out of any d-desire for good or evil... but just because.. you think you c-can. And beacuse you _can_.... ... you _have to_."

No desire for good or evil...?

She couldn't help but open her eyes. He smiled at her.

"You, kn-know.. Undyne always talks so big and I get her point. Es-Especially around, Paps. But I know you guys aren't demons. That is what makes it much worse. Demons destroy cuz tha's what the-" He groaned and Chara gasped beneath him. "Do." He laughed lightly as her eyes crossed briefly and she closed them tight. "Demons destroy cuz they're evil. You guys do it.. just because.. If you can't have somethin'.. you'll take everyone down with you. It's-"

He gave up, resting his head against her as he lost his rhythm and she cried out, him pulling her hair, the building climax choking her. Sans didn't stop and she was forced to moan and gasp as she came around him and he continued to thrust. Trying to reach that edge. Her spasms had ended and she let out a sob as her body stayed tense, the sensation too much as Sans finally pushed over.

He collapsed against her entirely, letting their cum linger together around him as the two of them breathed in heavily.

"But now you've reached the end..." Sans panted. "End... There's nothin'. Nothin' left for you now... H-Heh. Hnngh. In my personal opinion... the most determined thing you could do.. is just give up. Just say the words... Give up completely." He lifted his head, tears still streaming down her miserable expression. "But you're still just that much of an idiot not to.. A-Aren't you..?"

He laughed as he let go her hair and let her relax. Even as he kept her pressed against the bed and hilted inside her. Her spasming muscles were almost too much. Too much... Even as he didn't move.

"Can't lie and s-say I'm not happy about it." He admited. "Even if ya ain't anymore fun... Ya still feel nice... So the only one y-you're hurting is yourself, pet."

Her eyes were closed, still not giving him what he wanted. He just sighed again. Though it came out a soft groan as he rested against her, pulling himself out of her.

Chara could feel liquid easing out of her as well as he did as she only pressed her lips together as her thighs squeezed shut, the sensation still just as awful.

He pulled off of her and flipped himself over. The girl grabbed his pillow and pulled it close to her as she immediately curled back up into a little ball. Not wanting to feel any of the things racing through her. Sans kept catching his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. After a moment, he began to crawl over towards her. She tensed, waiting for him to grab her.

But luckily for her, he was tired. He pulled her in though, resting her back against his chest as he wrapped himself around her; spooning her and the pillow. He sighed as he laid slack against her. He could feel the slight note of despair in her posture. About how she was going to be stuck there all night.... But still she stayed tense and refusing to just completely give up though she really, really wanted to. Though she already had to some degree. But she just had to keep going. Anything to keep herself alive despite their not being a point.

"That attitude.. you guys got... That's why you can't love. Probably can't even understand the concept of it." He felt her hug the pillow tighter.

"And what would love be to you?" She asked through a muffled sob against the pillow.

Sans opened his eyes and glanced down at the top of her head, completely surprised. He hadn't anticipated it. He chuckled softly.

"Love is putting other people's needs before your own. You guys can't do that. You guys can't love. And that is why you're not people."

Her back shuttered and he didn't expect her to speak again, but she did.

"You put it.. like that.." She managed. "A lot of monsters aren't people either."

"Heh... Fair enough I suppose... But that's still not the same as you. Not a person, not a demon. Just human. Something in between. And destroying everything around you as you do everything for only for yourselves. Anything just to keep breathing...."

"Having people important to you.. just gets you both hurt." She whispered but her voice cracked as she said it, verging on sobs again. She breathed in deeply and then out... And then to Sans' continued surprise, she continued... "But you're not entirely wrong.." She admitted to him. "I didn't learn the words rape and murder from you..."

"You're LOVE makes that very clear..." Sans reminded. She didn't speak again for a moment and Sans thought maybe the conversation was over. The strange, strange conversation he hadn't expected and he wasn't sure why she had started it.. Why she had continued it. But if that was what she had needed to restarted the fight then by all means he would indulge her. It had been interesting anyways. But she surprised him once again-

"If you were in my position... alone... would you give up?" She asked softly. And Sans... he frowned, thinking this over.

"Everyone gives up eventually." He told her. "So yeah. Probably. Sometimes you just have to learn when to quit... Though that isn't to say I wouldn't try and give them hell. So guess not so different than you I suppose. At least in that regard." He trailed a hand against her cheek, putting a strand of hair behind her ear again.

"But according to you, you still being _different_..." She stressed the words. "If you weren't alone... If your brother.... Or if you just knew that your brother was somewhere and you had to get back to him... Get him out of this situation would you give up then? Even if it seemed like it could be pointless? Even if every second was horrible?"

"Heh... What do you know. Yeah, pet. If that was the case, nothing could get me to give up... But that is pretty outrageous to you isn't it?" Sans prodded. He pulled her a bit in closer. "That's love, pet. Can't believe you actually got a way to contextualize it for yourself." There was another round of silence. He wondered off handedly if she even knew what contextualize would even mean...

"Even if..." Her voice cracked again, a new sob working its way through her and once again... Sans was caught off guard. But it seemed like she was having difficulty understanding, which was understandable.... It wasn't really something she could naturally understand. "Even if you were almost certain that he was dead anyways... That it didn't even matter but you just c-couldn't know?"

"Is that a threat, pet?" Sans growled. She tensed.. and there was silence. And he figured that maybe for once that it wasn't. "But I..." He thought about it. "Yeah. Even if it was just the smallest fraction of a possibility he was alive, you couldn't get me to quit."

"And if he really was dead?"

"Someone would regret ever being **born**." She shivered but still hugged the pillow.

"And after?"

After.....

"....."

"You'd be dead..." She continued. "You would have realized you had been dead along and just hadn't known it. That everything you ever did hadn't mattered..... That is why you shouldn't have people important to you. That is why you shouldn't love. It is a strength because.. because it puts your heart somewhere else and makes it so people can't touch you. Not really. But... that puts your heart somewhere else. And that makes it a lot harder to protect.... And if you lose it... You're still alive... but you're dead. You're dead.... And nothing you ever did mattered....... Love..... Without it, if your heart stays in you.... As long as you're breathing, you're fine. As long as you don't give up. If you love, and your heart is somewhere else and it dies.... You're breathing but you're already dead. And if you don't know....."

She trailed off. And Sans.... Sans had no clue what to say or make of ANY of that..... Both because she had talked in circles and because the way she worded it...

"That's..........." His brow was knit together as he stared out across the bed towards the wall, still feeling her against him but at the same time.. almost not wanting to look down at her.

"That's grief." Chara stated....

"Heh. Heheheheheheh." She yelped as he shook around her, closing her eyes tightly.

She breathed in sharply as he started to turn her over, pulling her from the pillow and forcing her to look at him. Her red eyes were wide and once again there was that one expression he absolutely hated. The one that for a moment made time stop as he stared at it but also made him want to strangle it out of her. But he knew what it was about it now.

Innocence. Pure, fake innocence. Mock innocence in her terror.

A look someone with LOVE, especially a human with LOVE, should never be able to make.... Which was why he wanted to strangle her.

But it passed as she pushed her hands agianst his ribcage, still wanting to flee but her expression more forceful.

Yes, the fight. It was coming back and she was on the verge at snarling at him.

"Now where...?" He mused. "Where did you learn a fancy word like that?"

She opened her mouth, but her voice could not come out. But they were there in her chest.

The same place she had learned hope. Mercy. The same place she had learned love... And that if you put those things together...

Dream.

But at the same time.

There too was the grief.

Because....

She didn't know.

She really didn't know.

　

* * *

 

A hand grabbed her wrist tightly and Chara couldn't even scream as she twisted towards it, her red eyes wide and terrified, the darkness still looming in and growing incrediably close. She wanted to pull away from the small, tan and dirty hand, but she was frozen solid at the bright, wide golden brown eyes staring at her. The hand gave a gentle tug. She focused. The trash heap she had been standing next to had not been a heap at all. It was a constructed hollow hill, a sheet of sturdy metal covering the makeshift entrance; a small crack revealing that the entrance was even there.

And the pair of golden eyes inside it.

The small hand tugged again, and in an instant, Chara dived inside. No time to question the sincerity of the offer.

The space was small and cramped but just enough room for both of them. Just enough. The child.. Really, really a child. She thought a boy. Several years younger than her. And he began to reach for the entrance again. To shut the metal completely.

But the darkness was closing in. Not enough time. Chara grabbed the small hand and pulled it way from the opening and hugged him close as they both held their breath. Waiting. As the dark wave of magic swept over the heap.... but at the same time.... Completely missing them.

Time passed slowly. Slowly.... And they hardly breathed...

But then. It passed. And the stiffled air... began to clear...

The two children breathed out heavily. Collapsing onto the ground together. And Chara... Chara lifted her face to look over the boy... Who smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

　

* * *

 

And that smile... She'd given up everything for it. All the things she had asked. About Papyrus. About Sans. She could throw it in his face. She could try to prove it... Prove him wrong.

But that would require giving up everything. The very location of the heart of her.

And she didn't even know.

She didn't even know if he.....

She didn't even know if any of it had ever mattered since turning herself in.

Temmie _..._

_Frisk........._

She was holding herself as best she could. Even though it hurt. But there was an idea that had crept into her mind. An awful idea that she'd had before but had refused to listen to it but could no longer fully ignore it after the memory of what had happened with Temmie....

She couldn't hide from it. She really couldn't hide from the darkness in front of her.

The fact that... Chara couldn't even know if her brother was even still alive.

She lay there in Sans' grasp, her mouth still open but no words coming out. Her eyes flickered downwards in defeat... falling like dead weight against his grasping arms...

And a part of her knew... She very well could already been dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you are depressed but the only one you can talk to is your worse enemy who is raping you and genuinely doesn't think you can love or care about other people over yourself but you are sitting there so very very worried the one person you love more than anything could be dead and you didn't even know it........ So.... yeah....
> 
> Though I guess you don't have to be a level 10 friend after all


	28. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeepers Creepers  
> And basically.....  
> It's a bath bomb of magic.  
> But someone is still in a horrible mental place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there ain't no potential world build shit in here, slash set up, nope.

And so the routine went on... Everything the same.... Even if Chara still did not raise her head to glare at either of them as the closet was shut on her again, still a bit bruised from the night before. Not hurt enough for a tablet.. And Papyrus wasn't supposed to heal.

Sans raced away towards the farthest boundary of the city on his motorcycle at full speed... But even as he did it was with the vague knowledge that nothing was going to happen today.

Real attacks only ever happened on occasion. From a handful of groups that still seemed to have strong enough numbers. They were never serious attacks. Just hit and runs. Basically they felt like robberies. But the threat still remained.

Though Sans and many others were still of the opinion that they should stop waiting for attacks to come to them. To wipe through the mountain side and purge it. And when it came down to it, even crossing over The Barrier into Ebott... Crossing over and killing them all, destroying The Barrier from the inside out.

But that was something The King seemed unwilling to do... And to be fair Sans in theory understood the arguments.

That would be a lot of manpower. It would be a huge risk to their numbers. But not doing anything and just letting the humans breed like insects was not a solution. All of it was just stagnated. Everyone knew it. That was another reason it really wasn't called a war to the general public.. The war part was over. Now was just weeding out the surviving infection... Even if a lot of times it only spurred action when a considerable settlement was discovered.

The rest of it was waiting. And every few months or so... They knocked on the door.

Usually the knock was some sort of explosion. But they did in fact come just like everyone knew they would. They just would not give up.

But Sans supposed, technically, he should be thankful no action. Only that one event so far, even if it had gained him LOVE..... even if it had gotten him yelled at by Alphys.

But waiting. Patrolling. It was tedious. Just like it had been back on the patrols within the city. With Papyrus. At least then though he'd had Papyrus.

Now he didn't even have that and he was still itching for a Fight.

The high of the promotion. The high of the first gained LOVE. It was wearing off. He needed more. He needed a Fight. Chara had been promising but now, daily contact with one of the things only to still get nothing.... It was driving him insane. Like someone was denying him release. Like someone was teasing him. Perhaps that was an exaggeration but it was there. And Sans knew already that it would grow. It _would_ become like that.

The Fight would just not come for him... He seriously had to do something about Chara then...

God he could not wait for tomorrow already.

And that was the first time in a long time that he actually looked forward to his day off....

But he was... finally. Anxious for his day off. To not have to do anything.. well.. besides Chara.

His mind did think to the workshop in the garage though, for just a moment, thinking about it because Undyne had specifically poked at him about it... He honestly.. hadn't been able to do any of that stuff in a long while. The only thing he could really get himself to work on was his cycle. Everything else... he kind of just pushed around.

He really hadn't done much in there since... well... probably months at this point. Just moving stuff around to look like he was. But still he had nothing to show for it. He had just been so focused.

Finally having the house. Finally so, so near to his promotion. Itching for that fight. To finally reach his ultimate goal! And there he was. At his goal, and still somehow unsatisfied.

"You look bored." His coworker... Aaron... said. With a wink.

Ugh....................

There was just something about the guy that creeped Sans out. Sure he had a lot of horsepower and his attacks were hard to dodge on the ground so yeah sure, grouping him with Sans who could use his blasters from the top and the sides made sense and Sans was stuck with him, but at the same time!!!! Sans wished he could just tell Aaron to go away. But there he was stuck with him so...

Sans smiled for him, keeping up appearances.

"Yeah."

"You should find something to do... Hobby? Talent?" He asked, winking once again.

Sans' smile was incredibly strained.

"Oh I got some hobbies...." Though he found himself not even wanting to mention that breaking a human was now one of them and literally all he had tried to do for days....

"Hey! If you're really bored we could have a flexing context!"

"Sure." Sans lifted his arms, curling his arms. Flexing his non-existent muscles.

"Oh. Haha, nice. My kind of joke."

"My bones are just really aching for some action. That's all." Sans told him.

"Wow! Spunky! Loving it!" Aaron told him. Sans with held a groan. "Well me, I'm sweating here just watching you watch the horizon... If you really wanted some action the real place to go is outside the city. Especially the dump. If ya want, Bratty and Catty and I go on occasion. If ya want, you can tag along. Though they are there for the junk mostly. First time we went, we were going for the excitement. Girls fell in love with garbage."

Which was probably why they could tolerate hanging out with _him_ after hours to _begin_ with.

"It was as if it had awoken something within them from a past life." He said. And Sans didn't know what that meant. And he didn't know why it too was accompanied by a wink.

"Yeah, I think I'm good." Sans told him.

"You'll change your mind." Aaron told him confidently with another wink....

Alphys specifically put him hear to torment him and Sans knew it. To make up for his own cheeky ass.... He just knew it.

And she wondered why he abandoned all of them when it came down to it.

"But there is ALWAYS humans there. If you know where to look that is." Yet. Another. Wink. "Easy EXP."

Sans was thinking about how much EXP he could get from the unsuspecting monster beside him.

But the dump wasn't SUCH a horrible idea. But he didn't know his way around... If he went he really would need a guide.

........... But he would put off taking Aaron's offer for as long as possible. Thanks.

He just stood there ignoring Aaron as he scanned the horizon and pulsed with magic, thinking about the fact he didn't technically have to wait for any action at all. Even if he had to work furiously to actually dig his teeth into her and get her to pay enough attention anymore.....

But until then....

He waited.

But right about the time Papyrus got off of his own patrol, his phone buzzed and he stole a glance.

_Going to Muffet's. Should I expect backup??_

Muffets?

 _FUCK yeah_ , he texted back.

_This is what I thought. meet at house_

God he could so use some spiked spider cider and a good donut. A decent day off. And an actual, fucking fight for once.....

But... he guess he just had to settle for the fucking if it really came to it...

* * *

 

Papyrus opened the closet door, already looking down. But to his surprise. The girl was already standing. A forced, serious expression on her face... Even as the red puffiness to her already red eyes revealed that she had been crying at one point. Even with neither of the brothers there to drag them from her. And the air around her was different than before.

She did not lunge as he would have expected though. It seemed that her plan was to make sure he handled her as little as possible if she could manage it. Which of course meant Papyrus was then obligated to grab her arm anyways despite the seeming cooperation. Just to be sure and also to make a point.

Though he could tell she really, really needed a win right about now. And that made her dangerous.

She was still bruised and dirty from the night before. Sans had woken the two of them up late, seeming content to torment her awhile longer after the alarm went off

 _"She had looked too relieved."_ Sans had said.

It was a good thing though. There was something Papyrus needed to try and he couldn't really do it in the morning. Not enough time.

He dragged the girl into the bathroom, her stumbling as he let her go.

"Strip." He ordered. She held the bottom of the shirt he had given her to wear tight, she shook her head adamantly. He could tell she was also craving a shower.

She was always craving a shower...

But it was back down to needing that win.

Though he did not think she would consider this a genuine win.... Still with the linger smell of sex on her and sore and used body...

Papyrus started the bath. She eyed him, uncertain still at what he wanted.

"Strip." He ordered again. "Don't make me turn you blue. We both know you want clean. And I want to try out something."

This did the opposite of calm her down and he realized this.

"With the tablets." He stated. "Swallowing it whole was too much, correct?" Why was he explaining this to her? She didn't have a say and didn't....

Papyrus sighed.

"Strip." He ordered. She took a step back. He pulled her Soul forward, turning it blue. She bent forward from the weight before she could adjust herself. But by then he had already grabbed her and forced her against the wall.

His Defense was up completely. She was entirely depressed and he could feel it. On the verge of breaking and not being able to pick herself back up it seemed. And with that he could also feel that this was making her even more desperate to do so. Because she knew she was at that point too.

This fight in her eyes that was rekindling was not one of true determination. It was the last struggle of someone denying their reality.

Because it was hard when in constant doubt. With the constant hits. Constantly nothing good going for her.

She needed that win. Badly... Just one win....

And that was why he was on guard... He was waiting for the attack he hoped did in fact come for Sans' sake, but at the same time knowing that it was impossible for it to turn out good for her. It would just make her mental state worse.

So if she would not cooperate he had to use force. So that when she did finally get her chance to strike back it would be agianst Sans and make his day.

Papyrus pulled the shirt off of her, forcing it above her head and she was naked again as he threw it to the floor. He had his hand in her hair.

"This fight of yours is tiring, save it for Sans. Right now, you are going to get cleaned and I am going to figure this out. _Understood_?" He asked, mimicking Undyne's most frightening tone. And there was something in her eyes, like she recognized it.

She went slack against him.

"Now you are lucky that this is me. If it was Sans he would be taking full advantage of your position right now."

Pressed up against the wall and supported on her tip toes with her hands raised above her head. Her cheeks were turning red, but also her breath hitching in fear. And then her eyes glazes over as she lowered her head.....

Papyrus sighed as he let her settle back down against the ground and released her arms but not her Soul, keeping it blue. She stayed leaning against the wall for support. He could see the tears in her eyes that she was fighting back and also did not want him to see.

It was day 5.....

And Papyrus had said a week at most as his guess.

She hadn't quit just yet but the next two days.... Two more days and one more large fail. It would be over. The week would be over and so would her determination. A part of him regretted being so right on the mark. But it couldn't be helped.

And top of that... He also knew what the girl didn't. Sans had the next day off... But... Papyrus would leave that to Sans to tell her that bit of information. If he told her at all.. And didn't just let her find it out herself. When the alarm sounded... and Sans did not get up.

He already knew that was what his brother was planning. He knew his brother.

Papyrus stopped the water and forced her down. She immediately wrapped her arms around her knees as Papyrus brought down the case of tablets and unlocked it with the key he had brought from his room.

He snapped one in half and with a slight exaggerated show, he turned, held it for her to see. Before dropping it into the water. She jumped as immediately as the water immediately began to fizzle and the magic began to spread.

"And that is only half.." He mused to himself. The girl nearly moaned in relief as it washed over her. Papyrus laughed softly. "That is much better than taking it directly isn't it?" He asked as he knelt down. "The other was simply too much. Too intense." It probably would have hurt even to some degree. In some strange way.

The girl grabbed his wrist forcefully, her eyes on fire.

"I can do it myself." She growled.

Immediately, Papyrus willed the collar to shock her. And immediately as she screamed- He cursed as he bent forward to hold her, cutting the magic off.

Technically. Technically it was not an electric shock, technically being wet would not kill her. But it sure did not help. Especially with the contrasting healing magic all around. Too much of it. Too much of it in her system all at once.

This was why he didn't like using the collar. It was just an unfair advantage even if a necessary one. And half of him wanted to apologize for that, but he knew that was entirely pointless and also that overall it didn't matter.

"That is not the point." Papyrus told her, bringing himself back to the topic that had led them there. That she could do this herself... She could. But that was not the point. "And you know it."

She had jerked back with the shock of the collar and she was nearly laying down. She lay slack now in defeat as Papyrus tilted her back farther into the water and began to run it over her with his fingers.

"You just want to keep touching me." She whispered, her voice breaking again. But in an instant the anger was rising inside her and he could see it in her expression, her clenched teeth. "Fine."

She grabbed at his arms and pulled but Papyrus only held her tighter. She was screaming again but this time in pure frustration and anger. She kicked, splashing but still he held her tightly. She stopped moving a sob working through her and she laid back. Papyrus started for a moment as she went beneath the water. Bubbles coming up and a muffled sound. She let go of his arms and covered her face beneath the water. Papyrus simply kept holding onto her shoulders but not pressing down. After a moment of feeling the withheld sobs work through her, he began to pull her back up.

She gasped for air and began to catch her breath. The bout of violence easing away as she slumped over. Papyrus pulled her into a half hug, supporting the back of her head with one of his hands.

"Shh... You're the only one who is doing this to yourself you know."

Though he knew it was not fully true. Yes all she had to do was give up. And she was going to. Day 6 probably at this rate. But then there would be what Sans wanted which was basically a party.. with her.. And then there was Alphys who could possibly still want a go around.

A week and then until Sans really got everything out of his system.

But overall, she was just putting herself through so much more than she had to-

"Shut up." She breathed. "Shut up." She tried to pull away from him. "Just shut up!" She said more forcefully. But she gave up on pulling away and she was reduced to crying again against him. "I'm not the one doing this. It's y-you.. I'm not making you d-do anything." She managed. She buried her face against his shoulder. "You don't have to d-do any of this.. Even if- Even if I- Even if I couldn't feel or love- Not right- Still not right- Not r-right and its not my fault...."

She was very adamant. But no matter what she said, somehow, with his grip on her soul.. Somehow it felt like she didn't even believe it somehow, that it somehow was her fault. Because if not-

"Then why are you feeling guilty?" He asked. She gasped in a breath and let out a louder sob. And he knew he had hit the feeling on the mark.

"If I'm not a person how can I feel guilt!" She demanded.

This was exactly the sort of manipulation Undyne had warned against...

Papyrus sighed and pulled away from her. He let the water drain and turned on the shower head, washing her down. She kept her head down against her knees, still crying.

"Let's get you dressed and something to eat." He told her. She did not move. He bent down and grabbed her arm, pulling her up forcefully again. "Fine, don't have anything." He stated, dragging her out of the bathroom, still soaking wet and pulling her through the house and into the kitchen. He could only feel the frustration and cut off intent from her Soul.

He forced her to sit at the table and immediately she buried her face in her arms. She did not look up immediately a few minutes later when he set the three soft tacos in front of her. But the smell was too enticing. She lifted her head and Papyrus realized that perhaps she wasn't familiar-

"You roll them to eat." He told her.

She pulled the plate towards her forcefully.

"I know how to eat a wrap." She spat at him bitterly. Even though she didn't technically, actually spit. But the night wasn't over. He watched her curiously, thinking she could be lying. But to his surprise, she wrapped it skillfully, almost.... professionally he would have to say. If that was something one could be professional in.

She bit in, her face still a scowl as she eyed him, still bitter. But in an instant her face fell. And all her attention was at the food in front of her. Papyrus smiled as she began to inhale it. He began to make two more.

She would have time to let it settle this time... And he kind of owed her from all the other missed meals.

When he came back with the other two, she had inhaled all but one. Not having let a single bit drop. And she just kept eating. Completely ravenous... And the meal to delicious.

But she pointedly avoided looking at Papyrus.

She stopped though, at the next two he placed in front of her.

"What is it?"

"I..."

There was a question on her face but she resisted asking.

She doesn't want to ask ANYTHING from him. Which was understandable. But he was thankful to see it.... It seemed her mood was already improving with the food. Perhaps the idea of eating to keep up her strength would stick with her. Perhaps it would get her to tomorrow at least. Until she knew what tomorrow was... But even if she didn't ask the question, at least she was thinking about asking. Thinking about still surviving. At least a bit.

"Humans.." She began... 'Humans need a lot more water." She told him. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a large glass.

He would give her this one thing. A statement of fact to hide the request....

"My apologies, human." He told her. She glared at him.. But he had promised her. When it came to eating he would not with hold that from her. Mock her.. Well... Not intentionally..

He'd really been failing on the first part of that.

But she downed the water. More greedily than the food even. He took the cup without her even glancing at him and brought her another.

With each bite, each new sip, she was looking better and better. Her skin completely healed over... Despite being so wet she looked the healthiest she had this entire time.

Even though the back of her eyes still showed how much she was struggling mentally.

And as she finished the last bite she looked almost rueful that he was not bringing her even more.

But if he didn't stop, he didn't think _she_ would stop. And he knew she would get sick.

Chara sat back in her chair. Really feeling better. And full. More full than she had been in a long, long time. Maybe even never to some degree.. Full and feeling physically better. The headache abating now...

And it really was ironic. Feeling this physically good now... When all around her was hell. And her insides, between her legs, still felt, perhaps not physically wrong now with the tablet's healing affect... but in her mind. In her mind she could still feel it.

It would not go away.

And when Sans came home...

When he came home....

The momentum she had gained was already failing her.

And she had eaten all that food. If he pulled her to the bedroom without waiting. She's... She would be so ashamed if she threw up.... It would be priceless to some point. But at the same time. What he would do with it.... Maybe even what he would _do_ with it. Anything to humiliate her at this point....

And just... Just....

She gripped the side of the table, glaring at the empty plate....

That much food. And how easily they had it. How easily they threw it away too! How much of it was in the dump... And the fact that she had always had to dig for it, other people she had known growing it by the camps, or the times when you had to barter half your life away to get enough...

Her fingers were clenched, tight... But she took the glass of water, taking in small sips.

Her stomach was already turning.. But she just had to wait for it to absorb.

There was silence between the two of them for a considerable time. And her eyes were already starting to sting again.

She just.. She just couldn't stop crying....

Papyrus stayed, watching her, and she twisted in her seat, incredibly self conscious and that making it all worse.

She just.. had so many questions. None of them going to be answered. No hope in having anyone see her and actually see her. And she was just always in the closet, the darkness, or just... She....

But there was nothing left to say.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, surprise. It was more Papyrus.


	29. Donuts and Sans-wiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider donuts... Weirdness...  
> More crying. More.. fucking.  
> As we still let everything go downhill.

Muffet's was a hot spot despite the high prices. One, you couldn't get spider products anywhere else. Two, HAVE YOU EVER **_HAD_** A SPIDER DONUT?! The café was always full of people. Lively atmosphere.. Even with the looming hostess and owner. Literally looming. Her hammock like chair at the entrance. Spinning across the place on purple threads talking to everyone.

Pressuring everyone.

Hence the backup thing.

Because even though the brothers were on rather friendly terms with her that meant she lingered around you longer. That meant you got the brunt of the pressure even more.

The woman was out to get you for everything you got.

"So maybe let's not tell her about Chara." Sans said after they had forced the girl back into the closet, Sans smiling the entire time as seeing her forcefully resistance. Even more excited for tomorrow but content to let her wait and grow even more unsettled in the darkness.

Besides.... SPIDER DONUT.

The most unhealthy thing probably in the entire café, along with the cider ( _sp-cider_ ), if you were honest but that made it right up Sans' alley. And besides, he always could claim that at least it had protein! Which of course made Papyrus shake his head; that wasn't how that worked.

"Why not?" Papyrus asked, tilting his head as the brothers made their way out towards the car.

"I mean, I am ALL for bragging about what we got now but not to Muffet...... She'd... well...."

"Oh." Papyrus stated, the unspoken agreement there in the tone of his voice.

If Muffet knew about Chara the evening would just get more expensive. Somehow.

With added perceived status came added expectations.

And also technically another mouth she would pressure them to feed.

"In return, do not tell her about my recent... successes.. in the kitchen." Papyrus added, starting up the car.

"oooookay. Why?"

"Because I did not bring her any."

"Haha. Oh. Yeah, okay. So for all she knows we don't got no human and you are still hopeless in a kitchen." Papyrus sighed.

"I just wish she wasn't so pushy. She'd be much more manageable. Perhaps even nice."

"She's _nice_... She's just.... service person nice. Fake.... Even when she is genuine it still feels fake and wanting something from ya."

"But the donuts are good."

"The donuts are the spider's knees."

"That is not how that works."

"Well I don't know why bees knees are any better than a spider's. A spider has more even. Better by default."

"Quality over quantity."

"Yeah and you tell that all of that to Muffet." Papyrus did not respond and Sans laughed.

The café was centered towards the heart of the city.. The original café, before it had been famous, had actually been very close to the home they had grown up in, in the outer part. The original café had actually been Papyrus' first job doing dishes, which was how they knew Muffet so well to begin with. She'd paid cheaply, but to be fair, back then her prices hadn't been so stringent (the area around it would not have supported it. The fame had not yet kicked in). But even though she paid cheaply, the brothers had been the envy because Papyrus could take any expired food that he wanted....

Not necessarily because she was being kind, Sans was sure she would have sold left over and stale products if she could get away with it, but no... It was simply to avoid garbage costs and not to mention.... Sans was pretty sure she had her garbage under lock and key. Even now, in the heart of the city... where that problem didn't really exist. At least that Sans was aware of.

But Muffet was the cheapest of cheap and everyone knew it but the allure of the sweets and dishes.. Sans was pretty sure the woman had the entire city ensnared by this point. Because she hadn't stayed in the far side of the city for long before moving all the way out here. And Sans and Papyrus had eventually followed....

Not necessarily for the Spider Donuts, that was just a by-product of the move itself. But even so....

The fact remained that she had done well for herself and now that the demand was pretty much assured she could basically charge whatever the fuck all she wanted.

And she did.

Which was a shame because the dinner, café (half a bar if you wanted to get technically by the fact she offered the stuff in the afternoon)... Well, for all the cost, it was a really great place. Full of people. Vibrant.. The air was alive despite, well..... Muffet's _charm_.

She had her moments. Both good and bad. Most of the time just neutral. Not exactly malicious.

And you could tolerate that because of the rest of the place was buzzing.

The moment the brothers walked in, there were several calls from the regulars. How anyone came here everyday Sans did not know. If Sans did he would have to have a tab and Muffet had a strict NO TAB policy, her narrow, diamond eyes just daring you to skip the bill so she could eat you alive.

(Maybe not literally, but... that didn't mean Sans couldn't see her feeding someone to that pet cup-cake-spider monstrosity of hers that always rested itself behind the counter or in the back)

But the brothers entered the place, smiling and greeting...

Here was the thing about Muffet's that made it different than other places. Other places all of you were just there. Buying your stuff. Here... All of you were in this together. All of you supporting each other just to get out of the experience alive and something still in your pockets.

Sometimes, the odd day, it was competitive. If you were really cruel you could bring people you hated there and help Muffet pressure them. The whole restaurant could gang up on one poor soul and direct Muffet's attention that way the entire time. But overall you didn't do that.

Because if you valued coming back and Spider Donuts and your coffee or cider, you cooperated... Lest you walk back in and find yourself the victim of the next gang up.

Overall, it was a balancing game and Muffet pulling all the strings.

Literally.

"BoYS!" She greeted from across the room. Sitting on her purple threads that crisscrossed the entire ceiling. In an instant she was flying across the room along them and leaning down to be face to face. "Hello, dearies. It has been so long. I thought you had forgotten about me and was starting to feel hurt."

"Never, Muffet." Sans told her. "Just got busy as all. You heard about my promotion."

Unfortunately for the brother's wallets.

"Yes, yes, of course. But don't ever forget about the little people who helped you along the way."

Heh.... heh.....

She was probably one of the not littlest people in their lives now. Well....... Sans sometimes forgot how much of a big deal Undyne was. And Alphys. So he guessed they were always surrounded by big enough people.

Then why did he still always feel so small and restless?? Like something was just missing from really, really achieving what he was supposed to be.

He shrugged it off along with Muffet's awful stare.

She sat them down, fawning over Papyrus but giving a disappointed pout when he told her he was still working on the cooking part of his endeavors.

"Well keep at it. The same recipes until you get it right. I believe in you, dearie."

In a strange way, Papyrus and Sans knew that this was true. Even if in that unsettling way of hers.

Sans had once watched her stare a single monster out of all his money back in the olden days. For a single donut. Just staring and laughing and licking her lips.

The dude hadn't even wanted it.

The brothers sat, chatting, denying her offers for more food as they went along. Just talking. Being familiar with the regulars and the other poor souls there willing to play the game.

But overall, it was just good to be out of the house. Good to be somewhere interesting and fun.

A peculiar type of fight.... Where your enemy was also somehow your friend.. in a strange sense... Good food, bad laughs... Spider cider to warm his bones and help him just relax for a bit. Just a room full of paradoxes as Muffet spun around taking people's plates at times even before her workers and sending them along to the back along her lines.

Sans was always amazed to watch that. To watch just plates fly overhead and disappear to some unknown location to presumably get washed. To watch other plates with food on them to come back out on the other side of the room from the kitchen.

Papyrus was not so amazed, remembering how it was to be on the other side of things, to keep watching the dishes arrive and never stop.

And she had only been half this busy back then.

But despite that, Papyrus appreciated the atmosphere too. The air full of magic and overall warm. Even if chaotic and busy to some degree.

Today though, there was something there. And as he could see his brother relaxing, feeling incredibly comfortable and content, Papyrus stayed sitting straight and looking out over the rest of the room trying to pinpoint it.

It wasn't anything bad! Not at all. But it was familiar. Like a distant tune you couldn't quite make out but you _knew_ was familiar. And yet also off.

He just couldn't figure out what it was and after awhile he gave up in pinpointing what it was. It would come to him when he wasn't paying attention. When he wasn't trying to figure it out.

Probably. Maybe.

If no, he supposed it didn't really matter.

But they didn't stay long at Muffet's. The longer you stayed the more likely you were to buy more. To pay.

They left the restaurant for the car, and Papyrus prepared himself to start heading home. Figuring Sans was excited to get back and started with his fun. But his brother surprised him a bit.

"Let's just drive." Sans said.

Just like before. When they had first gotten the car..

They had rolled down the windows and had just drove. And drove. Seeing parts of the city they had never seen before. Even all the way down to the castle.... Stars in their eyes.

This time, they just drove.. Drove all around and then down to the park. There were several rivers in the area but The River ran and cut through the entire city, straight through the heart and The Park was right there next to it, the largest one in the city.... And they just drove. Not getting out.

But Sans found himself growing restless. Still. STILL. Something unsatisfied. It was the same old same old and not enough. The River, The Park, the large looming mountain in the distance though.... Looming and taunting and knowing..... Somehow whispering in the back of Sans' head that he still wasn't strong enough. And that desire in his Soul, that boost he could feel whenever he thought about it from the LOVE. It just wasn't enough. That feeling wasn't strong enough yet. Just an ache. And he was unsatisfied.

"Do you want to swing by the castle?" Papyrus asked as they just... drove.. almost lazily.

"Eh." Sans said, no longer as content as he had been in the bustle of the café. Papyrus chuckled.

"You just want to go home and get started."

"Whatever could you mean?!" Sans asked, feigning innocence. Or ignorance. Not always the same thing. "But yeah."

Papyrus shook his head in mock disappointment but at the same time he was smiling.

"If you want her to last at least until tomorrow I suggest you play smart, brother."

"Oh? I thought she was getting pretty feisty again. You saw that glare right? And you had to turn her blue to get her back into the closet. If anything that's an improvement. Even from the first day! A lot less fear."

"It is desperation." Papyrus corrected. "She's about to break and she knows it."

"Well.... everyone breaks. Especially when you're coming to terms ya got nothing left to live for and everything you do is pointless." He paused for a moment, watching the horizon. "Yesterday she actually talked to me. It was really weird. You probably would have enjoyed it. But... She's done nothing but spit and glare at me before that...." He paused. "So... Yeah, it probably is desperation." He sighed as he rested against the side of the open window. "But... she's a lot smarter than I thought she was... Which unfortunately means she knows it is hopeless and you're right. She ain't gonna make it past tomorrow I don't think.... I think a part of her really wants to die.. She's just. You know. Human."

He thought another moment.

"It is desperation. And that fight isn't against us at this point."

"It's against herself." Papyrus agreed.

"Well I'll take what I can get at this point. Not gonna complain."

"She's all healed up so you can basically just start anything you want."

" _We_ can try anything I want?" Sans asked. Papyrus chuckled a bit.

"I, unfortunately, work."

"Come on, Paps. Just one or two rounds before you go to bed. Today's been fun already and I think I can say that the first night with both of us together was the best by far." Papyrus hummed.

Sans was pulling on his arm.

"Come on," He whispered softly. "Come on, come on.." A soft playful chant. "I'll let ya pick." Papyrus glanced at him suspiciously. "Pleeeeeeease?"

"Sweet Toriel you are such a child." Papyrus shook his head.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaseee?"

"I don't think she could handle it. You would be breaking her tonight." Sans shrugged.

"She's ours, Paps. I'd rather her breaking for the both of us." Because that was what he was getting, why he felt so off and unsatisfied. Or at least part of it. His brother had to be there, a part of it.

"I really do have work, though."

"Did stop us the first night." Sans reminded with a grossly mischievous smile. "Come on, Paps. Just one last night of craziness and then tomorrow is just more playtime."

Papyrus sighed.

　

* * *

 

The closet door opened and Chara was ready for them. She had heard them coming in. Talking together. Coming closer. She was ready. Tense and ready to spring.. Even as she panicked slightly.

Because she knew. She knew it she had to fight. If she stopped for a moment or let herself think about anything else for a moment.

She was fighting herself.

And she needed the fight just as much as they needed her to. Because she needed the momentum or else. She needed a win. Just one. Just one... A win.

And somehow. Someway. A sign. A sign he was alright. Just one sign. Whatever it was....

In the back of her mind she knew that it was not going to happen. She was in pure denial but willing to fight. For just a bit longer. Because she could.... She could and so therefore she had to. Because he was still... He could still potentially be out there. So she had to keep going. She had to.

But she just wished she knew.

She just-

Shut up. Just shup up. Stop talking, thinking, you are only digging yourself an actual bigger grave.

She just needed a win though. One small win... Please....

The brothers were coming closer, one of them was opening the door.

She lunged at Sans with all her might. And he disappeared in thin air.

But this she had expected. This she had planned for.

"Heh. Did you really think you could-" She slashed her leg out to the side, and even though it hurt her own leg to do it, she swiped one of his legs out from underneath him. "Shi-"

And he fell backwards, his arms jerking out of his pockets as he fell. She felt the pull of magic as he tried to teleport but not fast enough and he hit the ground hard.

"Sans!" Chara jumped up, facing Sans still with her fists clenched. But he wasn't alone. He was never fully alone. There was that stupid brother of his. His stupid brother-!

The brother that was grabbing her forcefully from behind, causing her to scream like something feral as he pulled her back and tilted her body awkwardly.

Sans huffed as he picked himself up. Smiling. Smiling widely as his eyes pierced through her. But Chara was still trying her best to twist out of his brother's grasp.

The awkward angle... He was holding her down a bit. Forcing her to bend her knees.

"That's more like it, pet." Sans told her as he came closer. She spat at him, her eyes blazing even with the tears. Sans just grabbed her legs and her heart fluttered in terror. "If you're so impatient though let's just get started. Right here."

"What?" Papyrus asked, a slight disapproving tone.

"She just gave me an idea. I want to fuck you in every room in the house at least once." He said.

"You will not fuck her on my kitchen counter." Papyrus ordered sternly. Sans... did not react, only grabbing for the front of his pants. "Sans.." Papyrus said again, but didn't miss a beat as Chara continued to twist. Holding her as if she wasn't even there and she was already starting to cry.

She.. She just couldn't...

"Yeah, yeah, heard ya. Just keep holding her like that."

Each day dragging her to the bedroom, that had been bad enough. That sense of the inevitable. Now there wasn't even that. Not a single moment to try and prepare herself mentally. Sans was shedding his pants and underwear, and immediately grabbing her legs again, hoisting her up.

She called out in fear, her body in the air as he started to grinding into her. Working up his magic. His arousal.

"No." She breathed. "No, get off! Just get off!" The back of her head was supported by Papyrus as she tried to look up towards the ceiling.

It was happening again. There was nothing she could do. Nothing left to say to them.... And she was running out of things to day to herself.

He just kept grinding, like she wasn't there crying, like she wasn't even there- crying, talking, as he was sliding his hardening dick against her front. Pushing her into Papyrus who did his best to stay standing still while he supported her.

Her body was filling with static..... Static in her head from the tears. Static and heat as both men pressed up against her. Her legs pressed against Sans' hips as his hands supported the back of her thighs, and her arms twisted uncomfortably by Papyrus.

"Just leave me alone!" She sobbed out.

"Begging already, pet?" Sans asked. She shook her head, refusing, refusing, no-

But in her soul, she was starting to beg again.

"Aw too bad.." Sans said. "Not that it would save you any trouble at this point. You had that chance. Missed it, pet."

She just wanted to be left alone. Or at the very least, she just wanted a simple yes or no answer. Just one answer. To know if anything was worth it. But she couldn't. She couldn't...

She had wanted to draw the brothers into a stalemate but the only one she had managed to put in a corner was herself. Unable to quit but unable to keep, truly fighting either....

And she was crying and panting and Sans was already positioning his cock against her entrance, starting to thrust in violently. She cried out again, closing her eyes as she kept her head pressed back against Papyrus' chest.

And Sans just kept thrusting, feeling so much better as he watched her body move... His brother began to pressed her forward in time with her thrusts. Making the girl gasp even more helplessly through her sobs.

"Come on, Chara-" Sans grunted. "Chara, Chara, Chara.. Just cum for us Chara and help me and w-we can go to some-place.. More comfortable."

As if that was to be encouraging. As if she really had any control as he kept using her against her will. Not even control over her own body.

When had she ever been the one in contr-

She screamed as she came and Sans bent forward as he thrust faster, trying to do the same quickly after her. His legs felt weak as he filled her once again.

The two stayed gasping for a few moments.... And then... Sans pressed closer against her, as deep as he could and she keened as she felt herself shifted. Papyrus had released her and she had been forced forward, her arms wrapped over Sans' shoulders in a pseudo embrace as she continued to sob. He supported the back of her head. Holding her and smiling at her.

"There you go, pet..." He tilted his head, closing his eyes for a moment as pleasure came over him. And Chara felt the thing still inside her twitch and the sensation twisting up her abdomen. "This is the first time, you.. we've held each other like this."

Chara tried to pull her arms off, but she cried out as Sans bounced her upwards, sliding out of her, but also fixing his slipping. Forcing her more securely against his chest. He groaned as he closed his eyes, hugging Chara close as he turned and started to make his way towards his brother's bedroom.

"I think we're off to a good start.. don't you?" Chara didn't know if he was talking to her. Or to Papyrus... She didn't care... She just didn't care... She just...

Her eyes were hazed over with tears as she had her arms still wrapped around Sans and her head next to his neck. But she could make out Papyrus soft smiling form, his shaking head as he watched her and his brother.

He couldn't _see_ her though... And Chara knew it. Neither of them could really, really see her and there was nothing left to say. Nothing... And she was trapped and there was nothing she could do. Not even in the grand scheme, long run. She was trapped... Really, really trapped. She was going to die here. Die. And then they were going to put her in some glass case and it still wouldn't be over.. Still no rest. She'd die and still there would be no rest... And if Frisk was dead... If he was dead... She still wouldn't even know. Not even then.

She was never going to know....

She was never getting out and she was never going to know....

"Go get the box!" Sans said excitedly against her. Chara just closed her eyes. Still sobbing to herself.

Sans lay her down on Papyrus' bed, looming over her. Smiling that stupid smile.

"Shhhhhh." He said gently, putting a hand against her cheek and she just lay there limply. Waiting for whatever new thing they were going to do to her next... And Papyrus was back. Sans laughed as he rolled over, causing her to cry out again as he took her with him. Her eyes were wide, scared again at this unexpected turn as she laid over him. Immediately on instinct she was trying to press herself upwards. "Nah-uh-uh!" Sans said, grabbing her arms and keeping her in place.

She was breathing in quickly, Papyrus coming up behind her and grabbing her hips to drag her back.

Her mind grasped, though panicked, exactly what they were going to do to her.

"No-" She bit her tongue, pleading wouldn't even help. Wouldn't even stop it. No point. None. None at all....

But she really... just....

She just wanted all of this to be over... She just wanted.. not even to die... but to just disappear. Just fade into nothing. Like she had never even existed. Erased from time.

But she was pulled down onto Sans' cock again and she cried as he rolled his hips, getting adjusted as she was forced against his chest, their hips against each other.

"Oh don't give that look, pet.. He won't be as rough as I was.. He'll even put enough in ya to keep you prepared... Granted.. Might not help much.. You being so tight." And him being so much bigger too.. She pressed her eyes closed as Papyrus began to work against her ass, prodding his fingers deeper and deeper inside her as his brother continued to groan, occasionally rolling his hips. "So tight and so warm... This is what I needed today, thanks Paps.."

She shook again as a new sob worked its way through her.

"Dream..." She whispered. It was all she had and at this point. As her soul begged and begged to just be done. But also just to know the truth. "Dream...." She said again.

But overall, it was no longer a reminder; stay determined.

Her tone. The pain in her soul. She might as well have been saying please...

"Dream..." She sobbed again.

"Ooooh." Sans had her face in his hands. "Shhh... Sorry, pet, no.. This ain't a dream. You're right here."

She was right there. Awake. And alone.. And she was never going to get out. She was never going to know.

"But I'll tell ya a dream, pet. A nice one. It's this right here. Just getting to watch you get taken by my brother as I fuck you... Cuz ya see- pet.. I lied ya know. About all that you were. That first day. You're the first thing my brother got me after finally getting exactly where we wanted to be... So you ain't nothing.. You're also somethin' special."

And once she was broken-

"And when I finally get to kill you, I get one step closer to truly fulfilling that dream... To be strong." He rolled his hips, pushing his brother's wet fingers deeper, and he kept at it as she continued to fall apart. "Strong. Power-ful."

That still, yet unsatisfied dream. To be strong and powerful and always able to protect.

"To protect what I l-love.. A-And making the likes of _y-you_ pay-"

"Dream." She sobbed, doing her best to ignore him. Pleading to the universe and whoever could possibly be out there, though she didn't believe it... Just begging. "Dr-dream.."

"Ah. I get it..." He trailed his thumbs against her cheeks, at her tears. "Smart pet, smart... Using a filler word to keep yourself from slipping... But you can't hide it pet. Even if you don't beg. You're coming apart at the seams." She let out another broken sob, only confirming his words... "She ready Paps?"

"I think..." Sans laughed.

"That ain't so confident, bro.. Come on, Paps. Take her with confidence! Let's go."

Chara tried to lift her hands, to pull Sans' hands off of her face, he only grabbed her wrists. She collapsed helplessly against him, as Papyrus began to position himself. And slowly, he pulled out his fingers almost out of her, spreading them to keep her open as wide as possible as the head of his cock rested against her.

He looked over the scene more seriously, the girl draped against his brother as he rested on his back, hilted already completely inside her.

"WAit." Sans called. "Wait, there's a leash. A leash in the box. You can use it... Keep her head up for me." And Chara only continued to cry. But his brother's face in contrast was excited. Papyrus grunted as he pulled away from her. Having to pull his fingers out to grab at Alphy's box. Long and red... He crawled back over the two of them, clasping it onto her collar. He yanked up, forcing the girl to lift her face. "Theeere we go, pet."

Sans had released her wrists but she couldn't do anything put press her palms hard against the bed. To keep the collar from completely choking her. And she was helpless. Helpless as Papyrus repositioned himself, pressing two scissoring fingers into her again. And Sans gripped her thighs, keeping her even more firmly in place.

"Shhhh." He said, watching her face. "Just calm down and take it, pet.."

All she could do... Was close her eyes.

Papyrus was beginning to push into her, inch by inch. Painful inch. And then, slowly pulling out. Pushing back in. Sans waited impatiently, but Chara couldn't even pay attention to him twitching inside her, his resisted desire to start thrusting. The pain and pressure of Papyrus pushing into her, more quickly each time... She-

Her arms shook and she dug her fingers into the blankets. Gritting her teeth. But still crying.

She couldn't' stop crying. She would never stop crying.

She was going to die crying.......

And dying was still a long, long ways away... even if she were to beg. To plead.

Papyrus slacked the collar, caught up as he put both hands on her back and worked into her.

"Shi-" Sans only laughed.

It hurt. It just hurt-, Chara couldn't think.

Sans couldn't get enough of her struggling expression. Of his brother losing himself to enjoyment. And Papyrus was starting to really move her, moving her against Sans in the process. But Sans was trying to focus on their faces for a bit before losing himself as well.

On how she was crying, in pain, but gasping for breath. Her face bent downwards away from him again but not for long. Papyrus jerked in pleasure, pulling up on the collar, forcing her face upwards. She cried out as Papyrus continued to push in deeper, but her head too tilted back to truly be able to scream, to breath.

Papyrus had his eyes closed, the sensation of her too much. Too tight... But so moist from the lube anyways... Dear _Toriel_...

And then, Sans started to move as best he could as well...

They were pressing the girl from both sides, each of them deep inside her and Papyrus only getting deeper. Stretching her, squeezing her with their bodies. Their warm but boney bodies.

This entire time... she had managed to not think about it. Not think about it at all... Suppressing it. The fact that they were skeletons. The fact that when she looked at them all she could think of on instinct was death. Now she just couldn't. Thinking about all of it.

Frisk... Herself...

They were going to fuck her to death... She was being fucked to death, by death, slowly over time... She wasn't getting out of here... She was never going to go home... and she didn't even know how much of a home there was left.

Frisk.. Temmie... Where, how Frisk was...

She wanted to go home.

She just wanted to go home...

To the ruins, the rivers and trees, Naps and the River Person, Temmie... Frisk.

Frisk...

Frisk.

She came against Sans causing him to called out and try his hardest to thrust and use it to his advantage.

Chara couldn't stop crying. And she couldn't hide her face... Her head forced upwards painfully. Being choked. Her mouth opened as she moaned, and there was saliva and tears and she was being pressed between two grown men. Two skeletons, fucking her.

And she just wanted to go home...

Months in the prison. Months thinking she was going to go to the lab and torn apart. Not even a week here....

And in her heart, she could tell herself it was just pain. And it was...

If it was just the fucking. If it was just the homesickness.

But the uncertainty. No, the almost near knowledge.

Frisk was dead......

He was dead..

She was sure of it. He was dead!

She deserved this.... She deserved all of this...

To protect the ones she loved...

To just be with them. Temmie and Frisk, just living together. That was all she had ever wanted. With the few people around them that she thought she could trust.. To some point.. To just.. To keep Frisk safe... Safe.... That idiot dreamer who didn't know how to lose hope.

He was dead-

And Chara was climaxing again, her face hot and-

And she was completely exposed, crying, panting, moaning like some stupid bitch, some slut even as she was in so much building pain both physically and emotionally... As her executioners fucked her. And she couldn't' even hide her face.

And through her blurred tears she could make out Sans' face. Smiling even as he panted, smiling even as he lost some sort of control over what he was feeling and his own vision blurred. Smiling as his brother fucked her from behind. His brother...

She's done everything... Everything she could... to protect her brother.. And here she was.. He was dead.. and she j-just...

"Why?" She breathed.... But neither of the men heard her, neither of the men cared...

But... _Why?_

Her arms were shaking, keeping herself up... but she just wanted to collapse. To just collapse. To just let them fuck her and kill her and just be done... To just go into the glass case, to just let it be done.

Papyrus came inside her, dropping the collar and falling against her, panting as he continued to thrust. And Chara fell on top of Sans, completely crushed and miserable. So miserable...

But she had decided that she deserved it...

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed, barely audible. Papyrus breathed in, lifting his head, putting a hand into her hair. "Sor..."

Sans groaned loudly, pinned beneath both of them and unable to thrust, unable to finish.

"Paps.." He breathed. "Paps please, I gotta..." Chara shook as Papyrus managed to push himself somewhat back up with one hand against the bed, pushing his hips up against her, moving her against his brother. But still his hand was in her hair, not sure of what he had heard... But almost sure... Almost sure he had felt it in her soul..

But it was drowned out by the complete sense of despair.

But if she really had apologized, it was way past that point now... Even if she could happen to even mean it.

Not everyone could change, though he had once thought it... Not everyone could change. Not everyone could be a good person...

Much less a human who was already no person at all.

Sans finished, straining against the bed and calling out loudly as he filled her.

She was just so full, of liquid, of them hilted deep within her, stretching her in every painfully way.

She was just so full.

And yet she felt so empty of everything but despair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in the end of this chapter I also realized Chara is basically embodying In The End by Linkin Park in this story...  
> When will we get to another upswing cuz Chara REALLY needs that win.


	30. You Saw Your Life Parading Before Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks.  
> Grief sucks.  
> Chara isn't having a very good time  
> Just downward spiral  
> Endless cycle

_The darkness had passed for the moment, the air clearing.. And Chara and the boy stayed sitting down, huddled next to each other. Chara leaned forward, daring to peak outside. She could see nothing but garbage and sky.. She had no clue if there would be any patrols looking for stragglers_... This just... That thing being in the dump was just unheard of as far as she knew and she didn't know how to process this.

Whether to book it as fast she could, before everyone else had time to gather themselves back together or whether she needed to play it safe. To wait maybe an hour. Enough time to make sure that.. thing.. did not sweep back over the other way but also she figured that everyone else who was smart and a bit more powerful would be waiting at least two or three hours.

You just didn't risk it after something like that...

So... Chara supposed she was stuck there for the moment.

She sat back. The boy beside her was absolutely silent, his breathing uneven, the smile gone as he stared at the opening. As if at any moment someone would appear.

"Nobody's coming right now." Chara told him, trying to assure. It was the best she could offer... She stared at the opening too though.... Silence.

She glanced back over to the boy. Still not comprehending his existence. But she supposed she was obligated-

"Thank you.." She whispered. She didn't use those words often. And usually, she only uses them to keep connections. From her experience it was the only reason people really said it. To not burn bridges.... Rarely in true gratitude. And while Chara did not understand, this was a moment of true gratitude. The boy's gold eyes finally left the opening, focusing on her. He gave her another attempt at a soft smile. Which only made Chara's confusion worse. "But... Why?" She dared to ask.

He hadn't had to share his hiding place. In fact, not knowing her or if she was even armed (and she was, her worn dagger tucked away), he had let her come in and had.. He'd Saved her.

"He's really nasty.." She chuckled. That was an understatement. But she was thrown off at the sound of his voice. Just so.. small and calm. Just stating it out right as if it was obvious and a complete explanation that needed nothing further. But even still...

"I could have been dangerous too. I could kill you and take your spot for myself. For the future."

"But you're not." He stated.

"You didn't know that."

"You were scared."

It was the most purest of logic.

She looked the boy over again. He really was younger than her. Several years. Just barely no longer a toddler. Like...Barely 5 if she was guessing. But that didn't mean he didn't have the potential to be selfish. Some of the younger kids were the worse but to be fair they had to be and no one was going to tell them to be otherwise. That was basically asking them to die. But here this little fool was.

And why was he even _here_ of all places? She was probably one of the youngest she knew who risked coming out here and she was probably about what she figured, what? 7? 8?

It was hard to tell when you had no one to tell you. When your earliest memory was just existing. Running around a camp with no one to really look after you except to use you to do stuff. And you do stuff. You get fed. You lived. You looked down and _obeyed_.

It wasn't always like that, she knew, but it was for where she had been. Until she had taken enough risks. Until she had gotten herself out and took the chance to find a way to scrap by herself and not owe anybody else....

"Did you build this?" She asked because she highly doubted it. "If you found it you better get out, someone might come back."

"No. Mom built it."

Chara froze....

"Your... Your _mother_ brought you here?" She asked, glaring at him. "Like... you're actual mother mother. Or is she someone who took you in and makes you call her mother?"

Because there was a big, big difference. And if it was the later she had some unfortunate news for the kid in that he was being used. No doubt about it. And if he was being used and had been brought here he needed to leave. Right away. But then again, why build a shelter to hide him in?? And then leave him here in seeming safety???

"I'm waiting for her." He said, not answering the question. But the tone of his voice though... it made it clear he had been waiting for a bit too long....

Chara stared at him...

With the shelter, it probably was his actual mother. But with that, there came the question... Had she built the shelter to protect him until she made her way back... or had she built it to convince him to stay.. so she could leave.... But then again, why the dump? Why not one of the camps.......

She just stared.

This kid had technically saved her life even if it was because he was too young to really understand how it was out here. The... kill or be killed of it all. And if you couldn't kill, better be able to run, type of life.... But maybe he wasn't too young after all, because he kept staring at the entrance, a trace of knowing in his expression.

"Its not the longest she has ever been gone." He lied and Chara knew it.

"You can't stay here." She decided.

Though she shouldn't care. She should leave and not care. But he was too young to be out here and waiting and with that horror that just crossed over... And he had technically Saved her.

"But she won't know where I am!" The boy cried.

But Chara decided that if the woman did come back and worried it would be exactly what she deserved for bringing him here to begin with.

"..... Are there... any camps your mother takes you to frequently? Some place she might look."

The boy just looked down at his knees....

"Justice." He told her. Chara breathed a sigh of relief. She knew where that was. She'd been there a lot actually, though not recently. There was an elderly lady named Berry that she felt she could actually liked. Maybe even trust to some extent. Even if Chara knew that her kindness came from the fact that she wanted Chara in her pocket and network.

Berry claimed to have a nose for survivors... And who was Chara to deny a helpful hand when she actually felt like she could sense a shadow of trust? For the most part...

And who better than an older lady who joked that she would be the first human in hundreds of years to actually die of old age.

But this was good. She could take him there, leave him with Berry and to hold her over Chara would do a few errands. Probably message relay. That she could do. Then she wouldn't owe this boy anything and he would also be out of her hair.

"I'll take you there." She told him. "She can find you when she comes back around. We'll find something to draw the camp symbol on the sheet of metal. Okay?"

"It's gone." Chara froze again. Frozen by the statement and the simple... hollow tone to his voice.

"What?" She dared... just barely dared to voice.

"The camp... It's gone. They raided it."

She wanted to ask who had raided it. But she didn't want an answer. She was afraid that the answer wouldn't actually be the monsters.

Those fucking militant groups who just couldn't even get along amongst each other.

They claimed they were freedom fighters but everybody knew they were just sick assholes taking advantage of everyone... Well, most of them were. There were a few that actually wanted to make change or at least organize the camps more... But the moment something ever gained any footing, well this was what Chara had been told she had never seen it herself, but any time they gained footing the monsters would swoop in on the largest settlement and destroy it.

That could have been Justice... but at the same time.....

She just shook her head. Briefly she wondered if Berry had gotten out all right, but then pushed it aside, cutting her losses with a sigh.

"You were there?" She asked. He nodded.

Well that at least explained why he was here. That wasn't too far of a leap. Chara decided to give his mother some slack then... If Chara had just been uprooted from a camp, escaping a raid, this was probably where she would flee first too. Because if you had lost your footing this was where all the good stuff was and you needed that type of edge.

But still... maybe not with a child in tow. Chara would have escaped down the river. Rested.. And then looped back around.

Unless... She really had planned on deserting the child.

This boy wouldn't have been the first hapless soul.

"Well.. You should still leave... It's not safe. You can come with me and I'll drop you off somewhere... safer."

Safer. Not ever fully safe.

"No. She won't be able to find me. I have to stay."

Chara sighed again.

"Fine. I can't stay though. The others in the dump will be crawling out of their own holes eventually and I have to be out of here before that happens."

"That's okay. But thank you for offering. I just have to stay."

Chara glanced at him again as she crouched closer to the exit.

"That mindset is going to get you killed." She told him plainly.

If he wasn't basically dead already, sitting there waiting for someone who wouldn't come.

He didn't answer though and she slipped out, cautious.... but not looking back.

* * *

 

Chara knew that when you were about to die, or thought it, your life.. basically did flash before your eyes. In the way that, you thought about things. Random things. Random little stupid things. Things you never thought about.

When you were about to die... Or someone close to you was in danger. Or dusted right in front of you....

You thought about little things. Odd little things.

Their smile, a joy in your chest.

And it hurts. Because it is about to end. Grief hits you before you're even dead because you know that honestly, you are...

And now she knew how it was when this happened slowly. When you had time to think about it all. It isn't just the odd little things. Though it still is... odd... and the little things. But you have more time. There are a lot more other little things.

Like.. Chara thought about Frisk's mother. And Frisk waiting for his mother. Frisk waiting for his mother in a little constructed hut and she had just left him there. But his mother and Chara had just left him there. And what had Frisk thought? Thinking his mother was dead?

She knew part of it. Later he would say... He hoped she was still alive. That she had just left him. Because you see, if that was the case, then... well. She could change her mind. She could want to come back....

But she wondered about other things. Had he sat there thinking over every odd little thing about her. He had only been basically, maybe five. That wasn't a lot to go on but it was just enough to hurt. Especially at five and those people were the most precious thing to you, your entire world.

If they stayed around that is. But to be fair many did, Chara was giving them more crap than they deserved.

But still...

Had he thought about her? His life flashing before his eyes as he slowly understood she was not coming back?

Chara assumed he had....

Because she was trapped between two skeletons, hot and in so much pain and also so numb. Pressed between them on Papyrus' bed as they slept.... And she was just so sore and numb and covered in cum, tears, saliva, sweat, tears.... And she was too exhausted to cry anymore but she still felt like it. Even half conscious she still just wanted to cry. Like something stabbed through her chest, the heartache. As she thought of every little thing about him.

Just so, so convinced he was dead.

She'd been an idiot to think it mattered. To even try it. No. No, that was the only thing she couldn't say to herself. Even with all of this, she had always had to try. She couldn't regret it. She couldn't... She just regretted that in the end, it had been for nothing after all....

And she deserved it. She deserved to be there. Wrapped in the arms of death even as she kept breathing.

And she deserved it.

In some twisted way, that was now the only thing keeping her alive....

She deserved it.

She'd spent so long lying and telling herself that she didn't. And she had spent so long telling others this too. Grillby. Undyne. Sans. Papyrus.

But she deserved it. Because she had failed. She knew it.

He was dead.

And Chara was dead...

She'd destroyed everything.

She should have taken him the first day. Forced him. Taken him to a camp. Left him.....

Having people important to you just got you hurt. Not because they got in the way, no, Papyrus had been right. Having important people got you out of things.

Having important people wasn't the problem in and of itself. It was losing them....

And she was in so much pain, appropriately trapped between two skeletons, in so much pain because of the love that they refused to believe that she could even feel.

She should have taken him to a camp...

She should have never even gone back.

* * *

 

If she could risk it she could loop back to where she had been with Mich and Alex. Snag up all the things they had dropped. She could risk it.. It wouldn't be out of the way if she headed towards the river.

And as she came back to where they had been, she was so, so glad that she did. It looked like Mich had picked up a chocolate bar...

She breathed out, wanting to eat it right then and there but knew she needed to save it. But chocolate... She had only had it two times before. Just two. But she dreamed about the stupid stuff.

She stuffed it in her satchel, along with all the other things. Even a bit of metal she could trade to someone who would rework it.... And Chara was off. Out of the dump and through the river and into the forest. Taking everything she could carry. She trailed along the other side of the river with the safety of the trees. It was going to be a long ways to The Ruins.. Her most recent dumping ground..

The Ruins had the unique state of being so close to the monster city because... well.... Chara assumed it was an old part of the city. A city in and of itself. Some people said it was an old human city. Others a segment of the monster city that had been destroyed in the first wave of the war. Some said that was ground zero, where that fateful meeting had taken place. Where The Queen had absorbed the Souls and started it all.

Chara didn't care. All that she cared was that it was pretty well sheltered and the patrols basically avoided it for some reason.

Though that may stop being true after what she had seen today. She should probably move again....

But usually, the patrols didn't go there. Because honestly... there were just as many monsters there as humans. Which was odd.... because if Chara was a monster she would never be out this way. She'd be inside those nice walls and safe city.

She just didn't understand the monster at times.

She continued to just walk along the river, her worn dagger in easy reach.

* * *

And she should have stuck to her plan. Should have never looked back.

And even as Chara thought it, she knew it was a lie. If she had the chance to go back and change it.... she wouldn't........... couldn't... To change it, to have never known him... Would be like ripping her heart out once again. She wouldn't be able to do it..

And she was finding it the worst part of all of this. It hurt. Losing... but at the same time, with each little, odd, random memory... Each stabbing pain... It hurt, it hurt, but still.... she could not regret it.

That first, sheepish smile...

Her regret that she had let it disappear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on, Chara. Determination is in the story title....  
> Also look at that word count. We did it folks.  
> Longest and most ever written in such a tiny time. woot.  
> NaNoWriMos aren't insane like I always thought they were.  
> I mean did the story follow the exact path I planned????? No. No, it did not. But it's cool for now.  
> Except someone please take Chara away from me and the skelebros. Please.  
> I swear I want it to get better. Swear.


	31. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara is just...... yeah.  
> Sans needs to go do some of his other hobbies for awhile, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This bitch empty.

When the alarm sounded, the brothers both groaning...

"Oh don't even start." Papyrus whispered, very aware that he was the only one who actually had to get up in this scenario. Sans just laughed weakly.

"We didn't have to keep going..." Sans managed. And Papyrus knew that. That technically, he had been the one on top. He had been the one basically in control of when they stopped. But it had been a lot harder than he had expected once they were started. That had honestly been the best sex he'd had in his entire life. The mutual struggle and teamwork with his brother. How small she was, making her tight. He hadn't wanted to stop at all. And maybe had felt obligated even not to. To initial the next round.

Because he really was certain now that the human had apologized. Had tried one last effort to manipulate their ability to show mercy. Knowing they could do it even if she could not. Using an apology to gain it, to draw it out.

And Papyrus had also almost been certain. So certain that she had been on the verge of begging. Of just letting it go. If he and his brother just kept pushing, literally... She would have caved for them.

But to his surprise, even then, she hadn't... She had just come apart entirely. And he truly meant it.

Papyrus and Sans both guided their attention to the unconscious girl between them.. And if not for the up and down of her chest, Papyrus could have thought her dead.. The hum from her Soul was empty. Just empty energy. Just existing to exist.

They'd broken her. Broken her entirely..., or so he thought because he couldn't know that in truth she had just broken herself with her own train of thoughts, they just hadn't helped.

But to him, they had broken her. Broken her and still.. She would not stop. She would not beg.

"She has given up and yet..." Papyrus mused aloud. Because he knew it, she really had given up. "Why?" Papyrus asked. Sans laughed.

"That's humans. Just because she can... she has to."

But with the way her Soul was so vacant and empty... "It should be impossible for anyone to keep that up."

"Heh. That's why Undyne is always so worried about you. You just don't get it Paps.. That's the point. That's why they're so dangerous. Just won't fucking die."

"I suppose." Papyrus agreed.

"Ya know... you could do something real quick. Just a quickie, then shower, eat, leave.."

"My hips and legs feel like they want to separate from each other. Just pop straight out."

"K..... Eat her then." Papyrus just laughed and shook his head. He began to stand up and aimed for his dresser. "K... Remember I offered." Papyrus glanced over his shoulder at the sound of Chara whimpering.. as if she were being drawn to consciousness. Only to find his brother already fondling her again. "Hey... Hey, pet.. Hey... Chara." He urged.

The red, tear swollen eyes eased open, barely focusing on her tormentor.

But still.... Papyrus couldn't feel anything from her soul. No alarm. Nothing.

How? Why? If it was him, feeling like that, he wasn't ashamed to admit that the first thing out of his mouth looking at his tormentor leaning against him after what had happened last night, the entire past almost-week, the first thing he would have down being half-conscious again would be to beg. A simple please. A please to stop. A please to just die. Anything. But she just... didn't. She would rather be here.

Trapped. But alive..

 _"I hated them. I scorned them."_ She had told him that first morning. About the people under Ebott.

Trapped. But alive...

And now here she was.

For the first time in his life he found himself actually afraid of humans. The first time, really understanding. Because even feeling like this, the moment she saw an opening to escape she would do it wouldn't she? Even still...

_"Destroying all of you."_

What the actual hell....?

Undyne and Sans were right about them, but it was still so amazing to actually see. Almost unbelievable.

Papyrus stood at the foot of the bed as Sans continued to coax the human back into wakefulness.

"Chara, pet...." Sans whispered. She seemed reasonably awake now, just staring blankly though. Empty but living. "Say goodbye to Papyrus, pet. It's just you and me again. Today..."

She focused on Papyrus, glanced to Sans... Papyrus could see the understanding. Sans wasn't leaving.

"All day." Sans continued.

Papyrus didn't even sense any tremble of fear. Not even see it in her eyes.

They'd genuinely broken the human as much as they could. She could not rise back up from this. She could not fall any deeper. And yet... And yet she remained.

Papyrus couldn't help but feel so incredibly unsettled.

"Goodbye, pet." Papyrus told her to his brother's benefit. Sans just laughed at her lack of response. Not seeming unsettled at all. Only a little disappointed at the lack of fight. But even then... Finally satisfied for the moment. Papyrus could tell Sans saw that she was completely broken too. Papyrus just shook his head again. "Have a nice morning, brother."

"Oh I will. You have a nice day at work."

"mmm."

"Heh.. you can call off." Papyrus shook his head, just one last time, and left.

And before he actually left he checked into the bedroom again to find his brother having slipped back into sleep, not yet ready to start the day just yet. And the girl... well, she just stared blankly... Trapped. Empty. Even as she stayed breathing and alive.

Sans woke up for good two hours later, finding the girl unconscious once more against him and he had to coax her out of her own mind...

He wasn't as good at this as Papyrus, but Sans could feel the difference too. He did know. She was broken. Absolutely broken. But still breathing and proving his point with each breath.

He could feel it. The emptiness of her Soul. Even the other day when she had laid beneath him like dead weight, there had still, at least, been _something_. Something from her Soul. Not that he had really noticed it. Honestly he only noticed it because now, there was absolutely _nothing_. He could feel the difference.

She had reached her foregone conclusion and yet, yet she still could not just give in. She had given up but she had not given in to dying.... It was this weird, stagnant, emptiness.

Only a human could keep going like this... Somewhere in between.

Though he supposed... Actually seeing it...

It kinda reminded him of seeing someone... Fallen down.

"Hey... You know what will help you feel better?" He teased. "I nice hot shower."

She did not respond. And even as he took her with him, started the water, held her against the wall..

"You're always just- sitting here, around all day doing nothing.. bout time you put in a full days work.. You've just had it so easy, pet." He told her. "But just get through this and I'll give ya a portion of tablet, kay?"

And she just stared blankly with her arms around him. Staring and watching the water collect and swirl around the drain...

* * *

 

_Chara was traveling down the river, her satchel close, her dagger within reach... They boy still not even a thought on her mind. She refused to let it be. Just following the river....._

A large looming figure was up ahead, drifting along the water on a boat. Chara paused, hiding behind a tree, watching... but as it came closer she let out a sigh of relief..

Just The River Person.

The River Person was a peculiar.... individual.

He, she. Didn't matter. Human Mage. Monster. No one knew.

Though if Chara was honest, Chara thought monster. Only monsters and idiots could afford to be that careless. But human mage was perhaps not so far a guess either. And she was pretty sure it was a him... Though she didn't really care all that much about that either.

All she cared about was that he could be counted on. Even if overall she did not trust him. At all.

There was something off. Something so OFF. If you looked at him, you couldn't tell what you were looking at. Or even, fully what size. Shape. It felt off. Wrong.

You couldn't _Check_ him either.

Chara had blatantly REFUSED to travel with him for so long, only when people like Alex and Mich wanted to go somewhere far and the benefit outweighed the cross. And it wasn't even exactly that she thought he would ever turn around and kill any of them.

It was probably one of the first things Chara had learned about The River Person. When she asked how he didn't just have his boat stolen, offering rides to strangers.

You did not fight The River Person. Because if you did, well... Good luck trying to even land a hit on him.

You also didn't Fight The River Person because just like she said, he gave rides to strangers. And the only thing he asked for were stories and riddles or news.

Which was another reason she thought monster, because a human could never afford something like that.

And another thing, he always disappeared for long periods of times....

But even still, even suspecting what she suspected. Chara stepped out from the tree line and rushed towards the river bank, making it obvious for him to see her.

Because sometimes Monsters were the safer one of the two.

That wasn't a moral judgment, it was just because they weren't completely out here just to survive. There was a city they could slink back into.

She slowed down as The River Person came closer, pulling the boat to a stop.

"Howdy." He greeted her, just as always. "How can I help you? Would you like a ride on my boat?"

Automatic greeting. Unsettling greeting.

She didn't trust him....

Something so, so off about him. Something unreadable.

And yet she couldn't afford to stick around here longer. She was going to risk it.

"Yes, please." She said, Please another one of his stipulations to riding. He motioned for her to join him. She stepped on cautiously. This was the first time she'd ever ridden with him alone before.

"Where to?"

"Ruins." She stated. And he simply turned the boat around. Just like that. Despite wherever else he may have been planning on going.

"Anything new?" He asked conversationally. Chara wondered how much he really remembered about her. Or about any of his passengers. With other people there, she could always hide behind them. At least a bit more. Because she really didn't like or trust him. He always forced her to speak where she was most comfortable in the background. Silent and invisible and alive. Keeping her dagger close.

He had glanced back towards her as she kept silent.. She wondered if he would toss her out into the water if she didn't speak.

"Justice is gone..." She said finally. The probably monster turned back around, staring out across the water.

"Yes." He said, sadly.

But there was more and Chara couldn't keep it to herself.

That was one other good thing about The River Person. Everyone paid in news and information.... And if it was important enough he gave some back to you.

Chara stood back up and slipped closer to him, even if she was nervous.

"It is dangerous to stand on a boat, small one." He told her.

"You have to tell everyone you meet, even if they don't come for a ride." She said. "Gaster. He.. He was in the dump today."

And it was probably because of what happened to Justice actually... It was probably crowded with stragglers just like the boy hidden in the hole and his mother.

The River Person turned his shadowed face towards her again. She could feel the intensity of his invisible stare. She felt the hair on the back of her neck raise.

"The Royal General should beware." Chara couldn't help but frown in confusion.

"What does _he_ have to _beware_?" She asked. She glanced away, staring out across the water rippling against the side of the boat. "Its us who are in trouble. If he keeps on like this. I heard that the groups don't even plan attacks on the borders anymore if they have any indication he is going to be there. He has too much LOVE..... He's going to destroy us all."

"Not if he destroys himself, first."

Chara looked back up at The River Person in surprise. But then she sighed and looked out, not across the water but to the forest.

"He's going to keep getting stronger. And then he is going to sweep across the valley, pulling us all into a Fight. The guards will come out after him. And no one will be safe. We'll all be dead. Or forced into Ebott. And then we will be dead there. Doesn't matter."

"......" The River Person....

"Justice is gone and so is mercy except amongst idiots and fools. We're all going to die."

Chara nearly jumped out of her skin, screaming lightly as a hand clasped onto her shoulder. She immediately grabbed her dagger. But she was frozen by his nonexistent stare though. And even more so... by what she could actually feel for once off of him.

Real pain. Perhaps even guilt and an apology.

For once, he actually felt like a real person standing next to her and not some hollow, empty echo of a person in a cloak.

"Don't give up so easily, young Chara."

So he did remember her name....

"Let go of me." She ordered, still gripping the dagger tight. But he obeyed, releasing her and staring straight ahead. Chara rolled her eyes and crouched back down, and kept her back towards him now, even if she still had the dagger.

Gliding along the water as The River Person just hummed to himself, trying to pick up the mood.

"Dum dee dum..."

They reached just outside the ruins when she ordered him to stop. He could have taken her closer, deep into The Ruins themselves, but she didn't want him having even more of an idea of where she was staying. He obeyed, pulling to the side, and she got off.

"Will you be out here tomorrow?" She asked. The River Person shook his head.

"The next day." He told her. "Most likely. Probably."

"Next time you're out, will you meet me here? I'm moving."

He nodded.

"But as my price." He told her. "I want you to bring me one story of mercy."

She frowned and looked down, thinking briefly about the little boy she had abandoned in the dumps but refusing to let the thought linger.

She just turned around and made her way into the ruins. Not looking back.

* * *

 

The water was gone and Chara was sitting in the empty bathtub as Sans struggled with the case of tablets....

"I forgot it was locked..." He admitted. And also he had no clue where Papyrus had put the key. But... oh well. "Guess you'll just have to deal with it until Paps comes home."

But Sans could see no reaction from her. Nothing. Just ignoring him. Not even ignoring at this point. Just all of it gone.

And when he brought her into the kitchen, forcing her to sit down, and putting breakfast in front of her... She wouldn't even look at it. Pushing it away and putting her head down.

"Fine." Sans said, taking it for himself. "Whatever.... If you wanna be like that, I guess you'll just have to suffice being desert."

But he was starting to feel restless again, bored perhaps was the word...

Maybe they should take a break...

But only _after_ he ate her out again. RIght there at the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet


	32. Going back...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More little random things....  
> A certain lack of Mercy.  
> And places where Mercy shouldn't be.

When Sans moved towards her, the girl didn't even flinch. Didn't move at all. Not anything. The sense of someone Fallen Down struck Sans again but he pushed it aside. He put his fingers in her hair, gentle and petting.

"Chin up, pet.." He told her as he physically lifted her chin up with his other hand. "We're going to take a break.... You just have to do one last thing for me. And then we'll do something else.. We'll go watch some t.v. Just relax..." He was bending down, crouching beside her as he kept petting through her hair.

She just looked down at him so miserably. Wanting to die and yet still holding on for whatever unnatural reason....

"Why?"

The sound of her voice... It was barely there, and Sans was not even sure if she had meant to even speak or if the word had just come out of her. Probably that... Because he did not think she had it in her to do anything... intentionally at this point. Sans smiled up at her.

"Why what?" He asked. Still playing with her hair. It was still somewhat wet, but drying... Such a strange but interesting texture. "Why am I doing this?" He whispered. She just stared... her expression just so... miserable. "You know why." He told her gently. "You're a human and I'm a monster. It's just the way it is."

"No..." She stated, shaking her head absently. "No..."

That was not what she had meant, but Sans couldn't know that.

"No? Not satisfying enough for you. Well... There is always the fact that you deserve it." He continued. "And the simple fact that I can."

For the first time that morning, her eyes stared directly into his...

"So you have to." She echoed.

There was instant anger in Sans' chest. At how he had just... **_let_** her use his own words against him. Walked right into it. Handed it to her so even her half distant mind could grasp it.

But he only smiled, and pulled her forward.

In moments, Sans had her pinned against the table, her legs over his shoulders, and somehow she had found the strength, or perhaps just the simple fact of instinct, to push her hands against the top of his head, but only for a few moments... Before collapsing back onto the table, defeated and resigned. And Sans continued to smile, chuckling lightly, as his tongue gave her no mercy.

* * *

 

_The River Person was right where he had promised to be two days later. Large, in his large, dark cloak. A shadowy hidden figure at the front of his boat. And Chara tiny in comparison with everything she owned in her satchel and book bag. Still her dagger secure in easy reach._

"Thank you." She said in obligation as she got on the boat. The River Person did not start to move forward though.

"And so, small one?" She pursed her lips and glanced away across the river. "Can you think of even one act of Mercy you have seen?"

"No..." She stated in indignation.

"Not even one so small?"

"Not any that matter." She said, keeping firm in her decision. The River Person hummed lowly, seeming to think...

"What about the day before? You told me about Gaster to tell others... Was that not Mercy?" She frowned.

"No? That was just..."

There was silence...

"Where to?" The River Person asked her.

"I.... I don't know..." She admitted. She had thought about it.. But she had grown comfortable in The Ruins. To leave... was more difficult than it should have been. Which just meant she had even more reason to move.

Growing comfortable somewhere also got you killed.

"I guess just... just go about.. I'll just get off whenever." He nodded and began to glide the boat across the water.

And all there was, was near silence. Just the boat gliding across the water, the red oar large in his shadowed hands...

"Nice day today, huh?" The River Person stated eventually. Chara looked up towards the blue sky.

She supposed... At least it wasn't raining or cold.

"Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... Perfect weather for a ride down the stream."

Stream... as if this river didn't cut through the very heart of the monster city and down the entire valey. Just a stream.

The river... cutting through the heart of the monster capital.

Chara's red eyes narrowed as she continued to stare up at the sky.

"Why?" She asked.

"Why, what? Young one..."

"Why do you come out here?" She lowered her gaze, looking directly into the back of the monster in front of her. She knew he was a monster. Not a mage. A monster. Knew.

Sometimes..... she just knew things. People didn't have to tell her. Like, for example, she knew how it worked out here. Kill or be killed. She knew that to stay hidden was to stay alive. To run, to stay alive. She just knew things... Sometimes, the only difference she felt between herself and any adult was that she was physically smaller. And they naturally had had more time to just know more things than her. But still. She knew. Just knew things.

But what she could not know... Understand. Was why someone like him came out here so often. There was nothing to gain...

"Why do you suppose?" He asked.

She had supposed, briefly. Just briefly. That it was also mercy.

But she could remember the other day, when he had clasped a hand onto her shoulder. That pain she had felt. Known.

"You're guilty. You owe something." She told him.

He did not move. But he also did not deny it.

"Do you have LOVE?" She asked. Thinking about how she had been told One Did Not Fight The River Person. But she could not Check him to be sure.

"No." He told her. Chara tilted her head, not entirely believing it, but couldn't exactly call him a liar either. But The River Person was not done, "But my hands are dirtier than anyone else's.... in both blood and dust. And coming out here to somehow help with that. Well, that is just a fantasy, isn't it?"

Chara frowned at his words and shook her head.

"I think Gaster has you beat in dirtier hands than you. More even. And maybe your awful Queen."

"She did what she thought she must." He said immediately, defensively, though sadly. Chara scoffed, looking away again across the water and watching the trees.

"Well fuck her." Chara whispered. She could see though, in the corner of her eyes.. His shadowy hands trembling for a moment. She thought it best to drop the subject..... Anyways, there was nothing left to say. But perhaps.. Just to save face: "I'm sorry." She stated. Though she had meant every word.

Fuck. Her.

"And I am sorry I cannot give you a simple, happy ending. Or even the simple truth." Chara glanced back, uncertain... She decided not to ask or dwell.

Nothing left to say... And it seemed like talking wasn't going to do any good for them at all.

This was why Chara never did. Why Chara stayed silent.

But they were drawing closer to where they had been the day before. The dump closer and closer. And she was finding it impossible... Impossible to ignore. She sighed.

"I have that story for you. Mercy."

"Oh?" He sounded genuinely pleased. Perhaps needing to truly, really, hear it.

"The other day. In the dump. When Gaster came." She started. I was stuck with nowhere to hide. I looked at the growing darkness, and I knew I was going to die."

"But you are not."

"No..... A little boy, he opened up his hiding place to me even though he didn't know me. He saved me... He gave me Mercy."

"........ And why did you not tell me this before, young one? There is no shame in having been saved.." Chara bit her lip.

"Because I just left him there... Alone. Waiting for his mother... But we both knew she was never going to come.. If she hadn't been dead before... Gaster probably got her."

"And you feel guilty." The River Person stated.

"......"

"Mistakes are made, young one."

"It wasn't a mistake!" She cried. "It's not MY fault he's basically dead! I offered to take him to a camp with me."

"Please.. Young one.. There is no need to shout.." The River Person told her gently.

"I'm not shouting!" He only nodded sadly. There was silence again....

"Do you wish to go back?" He asked her.

"No. Doesn't matter anyways."

"I would go with you."

"I don't trust you." She spat.

"No, I suppose not. You are only with me on my boat, alone... Despite correctly guessing that yes, I am a monster..."

"I want off." Chara demanded. Standing up. "Stop and let me off."

He did not protest, gliding the craft to the shore, the oar transforming into a large trident that he stabbed into the ground to steady it. Chara jumped down into the mud and began to walk away furiously.

She knew that he wanted to call out to her.

But really.

There was nothing left to say.

* * *

 

Chara was gripping the sides of the table mercilessly as the tears ran down her face again and she was gasping for air, the sensations twisting up her body, too much. Too much over the last.. not even 24 hours. Too much and unable to handle it. Too much. Sans' tongue was still deep inside her even though her orgasm had worked through her, deep and relentless as he devoured her.

He groaned, slowly working his way out.. Swallowing as he gasped for breath. And finally, finally he was pulling away.

Chara's eyes were unfocused, staring up at the ceiling as she panted and Sans was leaning over her, licking the front of his teeth.

"Now do me a favor pet.. Don't tell Paps we did this here, kay? Though to be fair he only said not the counters."

Chara just closed her eyes again.....

And all those little, random, stupid things still leaking through her mind even as she tried not to think. No energy to think. And yet they still persisted anyways.

Small, little random things...

Like looking back, watching The River Person stay by the coast, silently hoping she would come back. Like walking away, refusing..... Like how she walked and walked. Like how she found herself at the dump anyways. Alone and stupid. Alone...

Like how she had climbed back through the garbage and found Frisk's little hole. Empty. Empty and Chara relieved because she didn't have to feel guilty anymore.

Only to find him a minute later, digging through the garbage for something to eat. Surviving. Still waiting like an idiot.....

That stupid little smile of his at seeing her again, that smile. Though that knowing in his eyes.

Stupid, little things. Like him telling her his name-

"I'm Frisk!"

So excitedly, only after she had asked him it, nearly an hour later with a bent can of corn between them, hiding and waiting together in his little hole.

Waiting for someone to come back who never did.

But the important thing that would matter, always matter, The River Person would always tell her. was that Chara _had_.

And whenever she tried to say that she had just been doing what she owed him, always, always: _But then you had stayed._

* * *

 

"But you have to listen to me." Chara said sternly, a lifted finger in Frisk's place. "You have to listen and do **everything** that I tell you. No complaints. Not a single one." And the quiet boy nodded. But then as always, he smiled softly. "I won't hesitate to leave you behind. And you should always be ready to do the same to me."

The smile had disappeared at that, but she had meant it back then. Meant it so much back then. She would leave him again. She really would.

She meant it.

She did......

"And we have to get you a weapon." He only shook his head. "Yes." She said sternly.

"I'll be alright without it."

"No. I can't have you defenseless if you're going to be with me."

"But I wouldn't be defenseless." He told her. He thought a moment. "I'll just poke em in the eyes and run away!"

She had just... . stared at him. Saying something like that so adamantly. Genuinely.

"No." She said sternly.

Just no.

And in the end, they compromised... and he carried around a stick.

................... You didn't go to the dump alone. Let alone live there.......

But somehow, just somehow... with an impossibly stupid child at her side... Chara did.

* * *

 

Sans had given her one of his old shirts.... Large and non-fitting around her. But the best part was that it just said _Bone Me_ , on it in plain black letters. And he couldn't even remember where he had gotten it from. But oh was he so glad that he did.

And too bad, she didn't even seem to appreciate it like he did.

"Aw come on, pet... It's funny." She stood there, barely able to stand by herself... Not looking at him. He wrapped an arm around her. "Alright, let's just go watch some t.v. Just you and me..."

* * *

 

"It's just you and me, okay. You don't trust anyone else. No one. You do not Talk to anyone unless I am with you, do you understand?" He nodded. But this would be his most broken rule ever and she already sensed it. Knew. "I mean it." She stated. "No one. Not until you've learned at least **_some_** common sense." Because oh glory this boy had NONE. Absolutely none....

And maybe that was Chara too. Because she had come back. She had allowed them to stay in the dump though it was a death sentence almost in her eyes. It was impossible to live there. Impossible. He was a fool and she was the bigger idiot giving in to him.

Waiting... Just waiting for someone to come who never would. And both of them knew it.

But the truth was... Chara didn't know where else to go. And besides.... in some sick way this was also the safest place at the moment.

Gaster had already been there.

There were bodies everywhere........

* * *

 

Sans laid back on the couch, forcing Chara to lay against him, curled up between his legs and resting her head against his chest... Her eyes half lidded and hazed, not even focusing on the t.v. at all. Just the memories. The heartache. The pain through her entire body... Her head.

But all the little, random things.....

Just wanting her brother not to be dead.

 


	33. Big Kids Don't Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ..........

_The things the boy could do..... were astonishing._

_Astonishing._

So, so, so astonishing.

Astonishingly stupid.

How had his mother kept him alive.

If Chara had been forced into the dumps with him, she would have also built him a little hole and shoved him into it because there was just so much stupid.

You had to keep him in a little hole just to keep him from sticking his nose into absolutely everything.

And even then you couldn't keep him from sticking his nose out. From pulling other people he didn't even know into the hole with him just because they looked scared.

That stupidity had saved Chara but it was just putting that boy in danger _at every **single** moment_.

Chara was going to cry. Was two seconds away from just screaming and walking away in frustration. At every moment.

The stick had been a horrible idea. Several times now she'd had to get him away before he ended up petting some of the stray dogs.

Not Dog Monsters. Just dogs at least. But if she did not get the association of Danger and Dogs into his mind it would be problems down the line.

And besides.... she knew part of what those dogs had been eating a lot of lately and the thought of them getting to close to him and therefore her was Not something she wanted in any way, shape, form, anything.

Whenever they came upon one of the corpses, awful and mutilated at this point and turning her stomach, Chara would force them in the opposite direction. Dragging Frisk by the shoulders as he asked why we just left it....

But as much as it turned her stomach, the corpses also served to keep the awful dogs away from them. And if there WERE any Dog Monsters around..... the smell would cover them.

"But why hide from the monsters so much? Mom was.. is like that too..."

"You hide from everybody," she told him. "Everyone. Everyone has the potential to kill you. Everything. And as for the monsters........"

No one had really explained it to Chara. She had picked up on it along the way. In the camps. How all of this started.

"Long ago, two races ruled over Earth... Humans and Monsters."

"And we're humans?"

What kind of question was that???

"Yes." She answered.

"What's the difference?"

She chose not to answer that one, not sure of how to say it.

"Now keep your eyes looking around even as we talk. You have to be aware of everything around you while we're digging through this stuff. You're too careless." She saw him turning his head, looking, but she couldn't tell if he was seriously looking or not.

"But humans and monsters." He repeated. "Earth.. What's Earth?"

"We're on Earth. Everything is Earth. Don't ask me what that means or how big it is, or... I just don't know. I only know its called Earth."

"Why?" She sighed.

"I don't know." She grumbled.... But it stung because she was pretty sure she had once asked the same question. "It doesn't matter." She said, pushing it off.

It was something she had learned. You only ask questions that are important. What Earth was, didn't matter. Wasn't important. Knowing the history of this situation wasn't even important either. All that mattered was the fact of their current situation. Not what caused it. You couldn't fix the cause of it. So it didn't matter. But if she didn't tell him, he would never stop asking questions. And maybe if he knew... he would have some more common sense and that would make her life so much easier.

"But one day, violence started to rise between the two groups. Each was angry. And the monster queen, they say she wanted to start a war. So she used her son to lure a lot of important human people together. And when they were there, she attacked. Killed them. And took their souls. Absorbed them. And started a war, destroying... a lot. And humans scattered."

"What about her son?" Frisk asked anxiously. Chara felt a pang of guilt, knowing the mother and son thing would still be hot on his mind but she didn't dwell on it. Didn't even off a comforting wrapped arm around his shoulder. He needed this harshness to learn. Learn to be more forceful and value his own life and safety.

"She lost him. The Queen got what she deserved."

"Oh....... What happened to her?"

"I think they say she's in the castle. The monsters talk about her like she is some fucking goddess but she's a demon. She's the reason you're out here and everyone is out to get you and nothing is ever going to get better. So you remember that. And she is the reason there are patrols and why we have to hide. And she's the reason you cannot talk to any monster unless I tell you that you can."

"So we can talk to them...?"

"Only when I TELL you that you can!" She said sternly.

"M-Mom never let us talk to any monsters.... At all. We just always ran."

"And yet here you are always trying to get yourself killed when someone HAS told you otherwise."

Chara was starting to realize this was somehow, a loss cause.

"But I still don't understand. Why were they angry with each other to begin with? Why did she use her son?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there and I don't care why. All that I care about is that everyone is still angry and you can't change it so you just protect yourself and survive."

Frisk stood somber, looking down at his feet and not at the area around him, forcing Chara to be extra on alert for the both of them.

"This place is kill or be killed, Frisk. And if you can't live by that, then you have to run and hide... Or lay down and die."

"I don't like it." He mumbled.

"Doesn't matter what you like. You don't have a choice. Everyone just keeps on killing each other and doing horrible things and it is too late to change it now. That's just the way it is."

She was surprised she hadn't been killed already. Or forced to kill someone. She would prefer to not kill, and many were the same, but that was only because you knew that if you did, and you went into places like the sewers, the better but less safe places inside the actual city... If you were caught by a monster, you were basically dead.... If you didn't have LV there was a chance.... Chara had heard that sometimes monsters used humans for labor. Or even house slaves. In stores and restaurants. You were just some token.

But to have LOVE and be captured.... There were whispers of a lab. Whispers that over the years would grow and grow into stern warnings. The young doctor who had just turned into the doctor that would turn into that demon witch. And it went from Sometimes you were captured to Most Times you were captured. Because now they wanted your Souls, not just your blood and empty corpse... And it was easier to transport a living human you could bruise up than a large glass canister you had to handle with care.

But right then, that was still a far ways away. Right then, all Chara was worried about was keeping the boy next to her alive. Though she continuously asked herself why.

And in all of it, she was starting to believe he was unteachable. That naïve, foolish spark; unkillable.

Until the day, a few weeks after they had come together, he showed his first sign of not being so stupid. That he had indeed been listening.

Or perhaps... Just perhaps... He did have a smidge of common sense. It was just slightly different than hers. A different, complete, perpendicular (though Chara didn't even know the word), set of ideas and common sense. And it met up in at least one spot.

He wasn't so much of an idiot after all. He could, in fact, smell danger.

The darkness creeping in when they had first met, and a much larger than them, yellow, lizard monster were enough danger to set it off.

Because Chara had been digging, not paying attention to him for once... Trying so hard to get the metal case she had found open. To break the lock. Because it wasn't empty. And even if it wasn't, if she could just get it open. Break the lock but not the clasps holding it shut, they could use it. It looked water tight. That was valuable.

But also near impossible.

But she hadn't been paying attention. And Frisk had slipped away a bit too far without noticing. Without Chara noticing.

Until he came back running, running and grabbing her wrist tightly. No words. Pulling her along.

"Fris-"

But her eyes landed on the approaching monster. Her brown eyes piercing and dangerous and the air felt of electric magic.

"GET BACK OVER HERE!" The guard monster raged. Chara's heart was racing as she ran with Frisk through the heaps of trash. They turned a corner and Chara forced them down behind a heap of trash. Their breathing erratic.

"We can't lead her back to the hiding place." Chara reasoned. "We have to... Lead her somewhere else."

Chara knew. She knew exactly what type of monster was after them. Clad in that much armor. Blatantly hunting them down. A guard, yes, but a new one. Someone who had just been recruited. Or at least, one that wanted to prove themselves. Wanted to gain LOVE and that was the ONLY reason they were there in the dump. One that could not be reasoned with. Given something valuable to be allowed to flee. All she wanted was easy EXP. And she had honed in on Frisk. And therefore Chara.

Chara stole a peak at the scanning monster. They couldn't keep hiding here. Chara turned to Frisk.

"We can only loop back to the hole after we lose her. We'll go together. Towards the river. She won't be able to keep up and if she does, she won't be able to cross the river in that armor."

"Can't.. Can't swim." Frisk admitted softly. Chara cursed under her breath.

"Just.... Keep running towards the river. I'll hold her back and keep telling you to run towards home. So she thinks you're headed towards somewhere. And when I run in the same direction and cross the river, she'll think you did too. But just hide. Hide and loop back."

"Don't want.."

"Too leave me? Too bad. Do it." Chara glared. Frisk bit his lip but nodded.

She swore if he didn't obey her-

But there was no time.

"Now." Chara hissed. Running forward, _towards_ the danger.

"Hey fat ass! Go pick on someone your own size!" Chara cried. The lizard monster turned, glaring, magic humming.

"Don't you know you crush bugs." She snarled.

But all that stupid armor.... If Chara could just not get hit.

"Run! Run towards home!" Chara told Frisk adamantly, loud enough for the monster to hear it. And the boy thank something, obeyed.

Chara headed off the lizard's attacks. Dodging. Dancing against the heaps of trash. All that armor to her advantage. Her small size, agility, to her advantage. And she threw trash at the lizard, hitting. Even as the lizard growled and grew more frustrated. And more frustrated. Even more frustrated.

"Honestly, I'm doing you a favor. Putting you out of your misery." The lizard called. But Chara only stuck out her tongue as she once again jumped through an attack.

"You're just a coward."

"JUST DIE ALREADY YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU RUNT! YOU HAVE ESCAPED FOR THE LAST TIME!!!"

And Chara, ran....

"COME BACK HERE, RUNT!"

And Chara ran.

Ran as fast as she could towards the river. Taking only a spare moment to scan the water, to scan for an even more prominent danger, before diving right in. Racing towards the opposite coast. Not looking back. Not stopping. Knowing the lizard was right behind her. She had to get out.

And Alphys. Alphys stopped at the water's edge. Growling and sending out sparks into the water... But the armor had slowed her down too much, and Chara... Chara was already out the other side.

And when she finally looped back around to the hiding place, the next morning after spending the night in the woods, she found Frisk shivering, curled up, his face red...

"About fucking time you listened to me for onc-" Chara gasped as he lunged at her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Chara stood frozen, staring down at him.. He was shaking. Shaking so horribly.

"H-Hey." She tried, wrapping her arms around him.

She looked back into the hole, thinking it over. He'd spent the entire night waiting... never knowing if she was ever going to come back.

"O-Oh... Hey." She said more assumingly, holding him tighter. "Hey, I'm alright. It worked out just fine. A new guard like that has nothing on me." She tried running her fingers through his hair, but there were too many snags underneath that she had never noticed before. She was going to have to cut it all off for him.

But he was crying.

"No." She whispered, pulling him away and holding his shoulders. "No, you can't cry. Big kids don't cry."

"I'm not." He whimpered. "Not a b-big kid."

Oh..... She supposed that.... that was true.

She hugged him tight again.

"You can't afford not to be out here." She whispered.......... "I'm sorry."

Sorry for leaving him alone for the night, not knowing. Sorry for the fact that she couldn't let him stay the little kid he was supposed to be and she had never been able to be.

Sorry she was going to have to kill that naïve, foolish spark...

But then why was she still holding him. Coddling him. Why was she letting him rest against her in the hole, each of them so tired and slipping asleep. She told herself it was for the warmth, but she knew that the day was just growing hotter and soon it would be too hot to stay here like this.

* * *

 Sans was petting through her hair again as she laid against him, tears in her eyes again.

Her head was hurting so bad. She was dehydrated again, she knew that. Always is at this point. But she dare not ask. Or really cared. And she was refusing to eat. He wouldn't kill her until she begged and she had no way to kill herself, to steal that honor from him. But she could try and starve herself. That was one thing she had control over.... One thing.

And it would be painful, she knew. But it was the only thing left she was determined to do. They couldn't force her to eat. If they did she would throw it up before it could absorb.

She would. Really would.

Though a part of her knew they would find a way.... A way to take even that.

But she just can't bring herself to care. Just staring.... Not even focused on the t.v.

"Oh hey, they're replaying the last Napstaton show. You'll like this, pet..."

Sure. Whatever. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

But Sans was pushing her off of him and she gasped lightly, not understanding.

"Going to get more food... unless you're offering." She just looked away. "Thought not.." He ruffled her hair. Keeping her soul blue as he left into the kitchen and came back with a bowl of taco meat, cheese, a fork to stir it, and a bag of chips. And even as he settled her back down, offering her a bite. She just kept her mouth shut... As music began to play on the screen and she curled in on herself even more.

 


	34. Stories and Laughter

Not long after the first encounter with Alphys, Chara forced them out of the dump. They couldn't stay. Just couldn't. Had to get them out of there. Just unwind...

And reluctantly, Frisk obeyed. They both knew and had known all along and it was a miracle they had lasted as long as they had where they were. Staying in one spot.

But Chara dragged him with her by the wrist towards the river even though he wasn't protesting. But she just had to get him out of here. Find somewhere safer close to the river. Teach this idiot to swim because it was one of the most important things sometimes here, with the running rivers across the valley. You just HAD to know how to swim. And his mother had been an idiot. Idiot. Making so much work for Chara. More work than it had to be....

And they did settle by the river.... setting up camp, hiding themselves with brush when they slept.

And Chara taught Frisk to swim. How to fish with the lines and improvised hooks she had made before leaving the dump. Which wild plants you could eat, at least the ones that she knew of...

Usually she left the gathering to him because although he didn't protest, obeyed... She could tell the actual killing part of fishing made him squirm. Which she was an idiot for not using, forcing him to do it, to get him more comfortable. But she didn't. Didn't. And in the mean time she just let him pick dandelions.

And taught him to build a fire, safely. Like she had been in charge of doing in the first camp she could remember living at. Not hard at all, if you just knew how and had practice. It just took time and equipment.

He was miserable at it. But there was still time.

But in the mean time, he was in charge of feeding it and of settling it down at night. Down into a glow because you didn't want it to attract attention but still wanted it to smoke and help keep away the bugs.

And time passed, with trips back to the dump, to The Ruins, even a trip into the sewers and deep into the monster city... And she didn't have to take him with her. Better to leave him at their little hide away. But she couldn't stand the thought, even though she wouldn't admit that to herself. And he couldn't stand the thought either. Of waiting. Waiting and not knowing if she would even come back. And Chara knew that. And so... she took him with her as often as she could.

And when it came to the city.... A part of her knew it was the worse possible decision... But at the same time... She could remember the first time she had seen the darkened streets full of lights. The hum and buzz as she walked around like a cat in the shadows.

She had been so angry. Hating. None of it fair.

But as she brought him along, holding his hand, not his wrist. She knew he would only stare at it in wonder.

And she wanted to see it. The soft little smile on his face.

And in their little hide out, she didn't have to teach him to swim anymore, but they still did. Together. Splashing each other and risking a scream or two. Scaring away all of the fish. Playing..

And time.. moving forward. And Frisk resting against her as he slept and she lay awake, knowing that the weather was going to start to turn cold. That it couldn't last. That they had grown comfortable anyways and needed to move.. Move to a camp or back to The Ruins but set up somewhere else than she had been last time. And before that, they needed to find more warm clothes so another trip to the dump, probably. Or cave and barter. Do someone some errands.

But no matter what they did, she was going to have to move them again... and she was thinking that with Frisk, she would be forced back to one of the camps... Probably Patience. It was near enough to the Ruins for a quick escape if needed. But perhaps too near to the Ruins....

Chara sighed and Frisk moaned as he nuzzled against her. She tightened her grip on him, the dagger tucked into the grass nearby and within reach.

They started packing up a week later, her plans reasonably set and warm clothes acquired... At least warm enough for now. There was still time for that. The air didn't even have a chill but she knew that it would come and soon.

"We can't take all of it?" Frisk asked.

"No. Just the things we need. We have a ways to go. We're not strong enough."

"But what about that person who comes by a lot on his boat? You say he gives rides."

"I also told you to not let him see you."

"But you looked almost sad when you said it."

Chara sighed.

"No. If anything I looked angry. There is a difference." Frisk didn't seem convinced.

To be fair..... To be at a camp... And have more stuff and look less needy... It could get you more easily accepted. Especially being so young. But it also opened you up to being robbed and losing it anyways and then getting yourself hurt in the process.

You had to be invisible.

But....

Chara sighed again.

She couldn't avoid The River Person forever.

NOT that she was avoiding him...

"We'll watch the river. If he comes by in the next few days we'll snag him. If not. We leave stuff." Frisk, the fool, was just beaming.

And unfortunately, as if summoned by the mention of his name. The River Person came gliding by the very next day. And Chara couldn't just pretend to not have seen because Frisk saw him first.

"Hey!" Chara froze, rigid, panicked, as Frisk just.... Just called out. Ran out and called out.

"Frisk!" She hissed from the tree line. Her heart racing. The River Person was not alone, someone, some gruff looking man already on his boat. But The River Person was already drawing nearer to the shore. His shadowed and hidden face looking down at Frisk. So tiny. So small compared to the monster who just towered over him. And then the man in the back of the boat...

"Howdy, young one..." The River Person spoke. "Are you out here all alone?"

Chara dashed out, grabbing Frisk by the shoulders as she pulled him against her stomach, staring up fearfully at The River Person. She could see the slight tilt of his head as he recognized her. There was silence.. as Chara was catching her breath.

"We're heading to P-Patience. But we have some s-stuff." She told him, trying to keep her voice even but failing. "We would like a ride in your.. boat, please."

She couldn't see it, but she just knew. The soft smile on The River Person's face.

"Well you better hurry up there, girlie." The gruff man said from the back.

"No need to rush..." The River Person said. "If you need, I shall give you time and swing back around here in an hour."

"We have all our stuff packed up." Frisk stated. "We were waiting for you!"

"Were you now?" The River Person asked kindly. It made Chara's stomach turn. She pulled Frisk back with her.

"Let's go get our stuff." She urged. She had to pack up the few things they had left out, too. "Come on."

"We'll be right back!" Frisk called.

Shut up, shut up, shut-

"Shut up. " She hissed as she pushed him along.

"But you said that we had to pay him with news or stories. I thought we had to talk to him.."

"But not talk _with_ him." She breathed.

They gathered their things. The most things Chara had ever in her LIFE owned. Which made sense, having two people. And the most things she had ever taken with her in a move. And she felt a pang in her heart looking over it. Sad that she would never risk coming back to this exact spot to stay....

Frisk and Chara carried their things to the boat, The River Person helping them to organize it safely. And Chara sat down next to it, glaring lightly at the man at the back. Keeping herself between him and Frisk. Even if that meant Frisk was sitting right next to The River Person.... But at least she knew The River Person just a little bit.

"So..." Chara started, knowing it was expected. But she didn't have any real news. Or anything... really. At least that she wanted to say. She couldn't even pick back up where they had left off months and months ago because Frisk was there and the stranger to the back.

"And who is this, Chara?"

Oh fuck him.

The River Person was looking down at Frisk. Who was smiling. Chara had her arm wrapped around him, firmly.

"I'm Frisk!" Frisk told him excitedly.

Oh please, why.

Not having many people to talk to and that was all the boy wanted to do now. After the first few weeks of just being quiet and scared and now just would not shut up at times. Questions and questions and most of them didn't matter. Most of them Chara didn't know the answers to...

"It is nice to meet you, Frisk."

"I've seen you before. But Chara never lets us come out and talk to you when you pass."

"Hmm. It seems she would have her reasons. Have you been out here together long?"

"We were living by the river."

"Frisk." Chara hissed.

"Oh. Well. Too late now. We were living by the river. Chara was teaching me stuff."

"What things?"

"But some news!" Chara called, trying to stem the conversation off.

"It is alright, Chara, let him speak."

She hated him. Hated him and his shadowy hidden form. The coward.

"She taught me how to swim. So if I fall off the boat you don't even have to worry."

The River Person chuckled.

"Hopefully we do not have to worry about that, young one."

"Well I've never been on a boat before so I don't know how it works."

"You just have to sit and stay safe." The River Person instructed him.

"Oh."

"But what else has Chara taught you?"

"Oh. She keeps trying to teach me to make fires but I'm not very good. I keep blowing and you just blow and blow and your face just gets super red and you get spit everywhere... And she has to do it.. And oh! She taught me how to braid things to make rope." Chara was covering her face now in shame. Knowing where this was going. "So I braided all these flowers together to practice and we just wore them around."

"What are you doing?" Chara keened in defeat.

"We have to tell him stories I thought."

Not stories about THEM!

Chara just kept her face buried but The River Person was laughing. She could hear another soft laugh though. She glanced up, seeing the gruff, previously scowling man now smiling at the two of them with a curious, amused look.

"May I ask you something, Frisk?" The River Person asked.

"It's your boat. So.. i think. Would you throw us off if I said no?" The River Person chuckled again, low but large. There was a strange atmosphere around him and Chara watched the tall Shadow curiously. She had never seen him so... light, perhaps.

"No, Frisk. I would never throw you off my boat."

"Oh. Chara made it seem like you could."

"Well. I could. Physically. Yes. I assume. But I will not."

"But what was the question?"

"Never mind. I think I know the answer, please continue. Tell me anything you wish."

She watched... and realized.... This was always what he meant by stories. News. Just like this. The random little things in your life. Anything a 5, maybe, child would tell you because he thought it could be important...

Time slipped on, as they slipped through the water in the opposite direction of Patience. To wherever the gruff man was headed to first. Which Chara resented because that meant she was stuck on here for even longer.

And the gruff man just sat there, listening and she wished she could shove something in his ears. Her dagger perhaps.

Chara cut in though about an hour into his spew of everything ever, cutting off Frisk.

"But is there any news that I should know? Anything important except the same old same old?" She requested. Not just to cut off Frisk, she realized, because she really needed it.

The gruff man laughed, and The River Person was silent, the lightness around him disappearing...

"Is there news she asks?" The man huffed. "But I suppose you being in the woods ya really wouldn't know wouldja?" She glared at him. "News. I'll give ya news." He was leaning forward. "Gaster's **_dead_**."

Chara froze. Her heart stopping. Time stopping. Everything felt funny and light.

"What?" She breathed.

"Ding dong the bells toll! Wicked bastards dead and he took a segment of his own city with him."

" _What_?" She breathed against.

How could he be dead??? Gaster. Dead. That was impossible. It was too good to be true. It couldn't be true.

"How?" She managed. The man shrugged and sat back, putting his hands behind his neck.

"Doesn't matter how. Just that he is. Good fucking riddance. The monsters better be worried. They got something coming to them now that their dark handsy friend bit the dust."

Chara turned her face towards The River Person.

"That's true?" He didn't look at her.

"He will not be troubling you anymore, young one." He confirmed.

Frisk was silent.

But Chara... She let out another airy breath. And then another... Something building up inside her. A laugh.

And she couldn't stop. Laughing as she tilted her head back. And the gruff man laughed along with her a bit. But she really could not stop.

He was dead. Gone. All that stupid LOVE and it was **_gone_**. Didn't even MATTER. Gone.

And she felt light. Because a large part of her had really, really thought what she had told The River Person would happen. That they were all just waiting to die.

But somehow... Frisk was silent. The River Person was silent. But Chara was comfortable, smiling softly to herself. One less nightmare to starve off...

 


	35. Blurr-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar tune.  
> LOVE and intent.  
> Adrenaline.

His fingers, through her hair. Music in the room.. Some robots on the screen. Something she had never seen. Something new. Something that should have been trilling and wonderful. Like discovering showers could be warm and that the steam had not meant she was about to be scolded in misery. Like....

But tainted again. Always tainted.

And yet, Chara couldn't care.

Really couldn't be brought to care.

Not at all..........

The world was fragmented. Just the memories but she was tired and hungry and her head hurting and it was all a lot less clear. Everything a lot less clear.. But the memories themselves, even if she hadn't been so exhausted. Still.. They would not have been that clear either. Not then... Not with what had been happening, no-

Because-

* * *

 

 _The first time Chara had killed someone...._ It was probably barely two years after she had met Frisk. They'd moved back to The Ruins, Chara trying to give him a sense of what different kinds of monsters there were. How to fight and flee.

Though he still, would not fight. Not in the way that was needed.

She had brought Frisk there for the monsters. To teach him exactly what to avoid in the safest monster filled location that she could think of.

The safest place.....

And in that safest place she had gained her first execution points.

She did not regret it. At all. She would have done it again. Stabbing him again. Right there, in the front of his neck as he had loomed over her. She hadn't even known exactly what he had wanted, only felt his extremely violent intent. And she had turned around, no longer willing to flee, and had drove her knife forward.

She did not regret it.

And the power....

The adrenaline, the fear, it had shifted... The adrenaline, the power. The **strength.**

She'd avoided it before. Because of the risk, if you were to get captured. But doing it.... She wondered why she hadn't just done it sooner. How easier it was. And more likely than not, you were not going to be captured anyways. Just killed. And if she had a choice, which she did, she would always chose to die later rather than sooner.

She did not regret it.

Even as she shook, and laugh, and washed off the blood. So much of it. So much of it trailing into the water of the river because he had fallen over her and the blood had kept coming, pulsing from his neck. As he had sounded like he was drowning.

She did not regret it. Could not.

But Frisk, perhaps just a little younger than what she had been when they had first met and joined up. Frisk had stayed nearby for support. Hugging her the moment she came out of the water. Still shaking.

But the EXP. The LOVE.

She did not stop.

Her second kill was only two days later. A monster she could have probably just easy enough had fled.

And the third? A day after that.

And all the while, Frisk stayed silently watching, hugging his legs because she refused to regret it and smiled.

And Chara did not stop. Why should she?

And Frisk did not stop her.

And in hindsight, Chara realize: What could he say? She would just remind him that it had to be this way. And if he would not be more forceful than that was all the more reason she would.

But still....

The look on his face. Her own smile. Her laugh.

Something was wrong. The shock to her system.... that first LOVE had been. How she did not stop. Did not rest.

And then....

That monster...

That little, dog-cat-like monster. Its flake-like bullets grazing her, its growing limbs, its violent intent. Her own intent mirrored back.

Checking it, gave no Stats. No ATTACK. No DEFENSE. The only thing it provided was a mocking note: RATED tem OUTTA TEM.

"hOI!!! i'm tEMMIE!!!" It had called, mocking. Completely mocking. Talking much like a Flowey. HOIDWY, they went. Those stupid innumerable, identical monsters. The fact that there could be another set of monsters as stupid as that had never crossed her mind. The dread of it all.

But the way it gave no Stats...... so much like The River Person... A certain offness.

That only made Chara more determined to kill it. Vicious intent, though despite the mostly stupid look on its face, somehow she could feel it.

Somehow, as if it was all just an act. Another reason to kill. To not back down. Because she could sense, knew... The little shit knew what it was doing. The stupidity only so genuine. Only stupid because it dared to refuse to flee. And so did she.

Because she was just so, so done with fleeing. With hiding. Cowering. Being pushed around and scared. So done!!

It didn't take long though. To get the monster nearly dusted. Just one hit. It's HP revealed in a hit to be rather weak. Near only 5...... The only reason it had survived was because she had just barely grazed it.

But that low of HP.. just meant this would be easier.

As the monster collapsed in pain, with a huff, against the ground and backed up against the wall-

* * *

 

This song-

Chara sat up on instinct, her eyes wide.....

Sans' attention was drawn with curiousity.

"Hey now, pet." He said, putting a hand against her cheek. "Somethin' finally catch yer attention?"

She did not respond. She watched the screen. Really watched the screen for the first time since he had dragged her there. Since the fist time she had been forced to lay there with him. And she watched the screen.... Her breathing picked up. As it couldn't be-

But it was.

She saw him.

There. On the screen.

Naps.

He was the one at the piano with the light blue glow. The robot.

Robot..........

A robot wearing a rumpled looking top hat.

A ghost possesing what looked like a robot. Playing music.

Naps.

 _Naps-ta-bl-oo-k_ , the t.v. told her.

Napstablook. On the screen. Playing.

And the other robot, another ghost, his cousin. The one he always talked about. The one he was trying to work things out.....

All that music. All that discussion.

Ghost Fight.

That song. It was Ghost Fight. He'd played it for them... He'd wanted Frisk to be the first one to hear it fully recorded... But he'd been working on something else for them too... Just for them.

But they'd never gotten to hear it, he had never come back... There hadn't been enough time.

And there he was....

On screen.

Smiling and playing...

Smiling and playing.

Did he even worry? Did he even wonder? Did he even care to know? Or would he cut his losses and forget them and move on-

On the t.v. screen....

Famous. Famous, he'd always been _famous_. Coming out to The Ruins and just using them, then. Just using them. Like everyone else in their life ever.

Famous.. How could you spend months with people and just forget them and go back to your star studded life. A robot, not even yourself, just pretending that all of it never happened. That there weren't people starving and struggling and dealing with an entire other race thinking they didn't mean anything but shit!

He had gone back and forgot.

And Frisk was dead. After everything. Dead and forgotten. Naps had gone back and forgot.

The tears were in Chara's eyes. Her chest heaving.

Famous and would he even **_care_**...?

And Sans.... He was grazing her cheek, feeling her tears.

"Oh Chara, pet, what's wrong?"

His brother was a lot more intune to intent. To magic. To feelings. His brother would have sensed it. The shift. The change. His brother would have acted. But Sans was smug and blind, thinking he had won and this was all just a left over game. That _he_ had been the one to break her. That he had been the one who'd won.

Blind as Chara turned towards him, red eyes filled with tears but piercing. As the hatred and anger and rage and murderous desire flooded through her chest. The suicidal child that felt like she had nothing to lose. The anger- Hatred-

And she did the one thing she already knew would get results.

And Sans was blind.

Blind as she plunged her hand directly into his left eye socket, as far as she could, balling her fist. Stuck. Just like she knew she could get.

And he screamed, jerking beneath her. The pain stabbing through his skull. And Chara-

She had the fork he had brought into the room in her hand, stabbing it right through the other socket.

Pain. There was too much pain. And Sans was teleporting. To get away from it.

But she just came right with him and he only found himself slammed down hard against the floor. As she pressed her full weight against him. Driving her hand and the fork as deep as she could.

She had all the intent of an inanimate object.

But that did not mean she could not hurt.

That did not mean she could not kill.

She was going to kill him.

Kill him.

Slowly if she had to.

And she could feel him lose it, that first, single HP.

And if she could just work up that intent. Work it up and work past the collar like Undyne had shown her that she could even with the consequences. She could do it in an instant with her pressed up against him like this. In an instant. The collar would go off, probably kill her or at least Papyrus would later coming home.

But that was fine. She wasn't getting out of here anyways. And Frisk was dead.

And she was going to make the two of them **feel it.**

She had told Papyrus she wanted to Destroy them all. And it had only been half true, to hide what really, truly mattered. That Frisk was okay. Frisk was somewhere that they could not touch. And it hadn't been true. She'd just been lying to herself. He was gone. And now... Now this truly was all there was.

As Sans clawed his fingers into her, trying his best. Drawing blood. Turning her Soul blue but not able to do anything but move her hands inside of him. And she thrust it back in. Again and again, the hatred burning deep inside her. As **_he_** struggled. And she screamed in rage through her clenched teeth. While he screamed in agony.

They couldn't hurt her anymore. They couldn't. The only thing that mattered was already gone.

And she was going to take the exact same thing away from them. It would have been sweeter, killing Papyrus. Leaving Sans alone. His one wish, one dream, gone. To know how it truly would feel. But killing Sans and leaving Papyrus.

Killing his brother.

Leaving him alone.

" **How can you protect your brother?"** She demanded. " **If you can't even protect YOURSELF?!** "

There was a bright hum of magic in front of her and Chara gasped as she looked up. Her stomach dropping as she looked straight into the gaping maw of a bone-like creature, bright hot white fire aiming towards her.

And on instinct. Chara pulled backwards, dragging Sans into a sitting postion and cowering against his chest.

Using him as a shield.

As his own attack blasted them.

Chara's ears were ringing. Her skin hot and seered, but that did not compare to the even louder high-pitched scream from Sans.

And their HPs. Both of them were still dropping, even as the attack stopped. As Sans, in his panic. Held onto his _turn_. His magic still seeping. toxic and eating.

Chara was breathing frantically. Not knowing what was happening. Something sick and pinkish attacking at her very Soul. Draining her.

But she could feel it. Sense it.

She still had more than him though she didn't know how. She had more HP than Sans. She could wait him out. All she had to do was wait. As he slowly killed himself.

But it stopped. Sans, cutting it off, knowing the exact same thing as her.

She had more HP. She... was the stronger one. Even still.

Even after everything.

But the HP draining energy was gone. But still, her hand. The fork. They were stabbing deep inside his skull. He could not get her out though she was sore and bleeding. He could not get at her neck like he wanted to.

He formed a bone, but it staggered and fell apart. Him not able to think straight. To aim anymore.

As his HP drained.

And Chara slammed him back down violently against the ground. Stabbing the fork back in, striking the back of his skull. His chest was glowing now, showing his Sou'ls distress.

This was it, this was it.

Chara wasn't smiling though. Just grtting her teeth, murder in her eyes. As he went limp beneath her.

Just wanting him to dust.

He was at 1 HP.

* * *

 

_Chara had gasped, stopping her attack with a scream, as Frisk slid in between her and the dog-cat-like monster. Holding out his arms, a terrified look on his face._

* * *

 

She'd let go.

And her mind was in panic. Screaming at her. Screaming at her to finish it, to finish it, FINISH IT.

Sans was staring blankly. Completely blankly. No lights in his sockets as he lay passed out beneath her.

KILL HIM.

DO IT, KILL HIM.

Why? Why had she stopped?! KILL HIM.

She didn't know.

She didn't know!

But she couldn't stab him again. She couldn't do it. The violence was still there. The intent underneath. But she couldn't breath. She couldn't think.

Adrenaline was pumping through her veins.

Fight or Flight.

But she could not-

She could not-

No. No,no,nonononononononon!!!!!!NO

There was music still playing but she couldn't think.

Chara pushed herself up, letting the fork fall, and she pushed herself up. To run. To flee.

But to where? Where to flee? To the kitchen. A knife. To Papyrus' room. Find the key. To the bathroom, the tablets. To flee. Before Papyrus came home. Before Papyrus- And Sans-

Why? Why was he still aliv-?

But she did not make it far.

Chara gasped. Her soul turning blue.

And she was lifted, twisted in the air. And slammed, violently, back down against the floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Megalo Strike-  
> Oops.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I am super far behind in actually reacting to comments but just know I love all of you.


	36. Something Wrong

Papyrus never came home for lunch. It took too much time.

Papyrus never came home for lunch, knowing it would mean he'd automatically get back late for his second round of patrols.

Too out of the way.

Papyrus never came home.......

But something was wrong.

He'd felt uneasy at first, even sitting down in his car in the drive way _before_ he left for work. When it sank in to him that he really was leaving his brother alone with the human.

It was irrational, he knew. And she was just so fallen apart... There was no way she was going to rise back up from that.

But he had all of Undyne's warnings, instilled in him for years and years and ever since he was small. From Sans too. All of those things ingrained in him.

The human was defeated.

The Monsters had defeated The Humans.

And yet, somehow, in that defeat, there was always something. Rising up.

Just because they can and therefore had to, like Sans said.

To take something with them before they truly fell.

That was one difference between them.

Monsters just Fell. Humans dragged you with them.

 _"Destroying all of you,"_ She had told him. Promised.

She couldn't get out. She was done.

But there was nothing she could do. And Papyrus had left that morning, reassuring himself and shrugging it off and continuing to pretend not to notice anything different or wrong.

But then, about ten minutes before he had been meant to take his lunch. Something had sparked in his chest, some distress from his own soul.

Nobody had ever told Sans and Papyrus they were brothers. Nobody had to.

And nobody had to tell Papyrus that Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

He could feel it in his Soul. Something distant and unsettling.

And Sans would not pick up the phone.

And neither would the two neighbors he had called while he drove, probably not even home.

But something was wrong.

Something....

He pulled into the drive way again, getting out of the car quickly, his magic racing...

It could be nothing.

But it was not nothing, somehow he knew that. And now that he was at the house, he could feel it not just in his Soul but also in the air. The magic. To panic.

Something was wrong.

He nearly kicked down the front door, barely able to fiddle with the lock. And he rushed into the hall. The first thing he saw was a line of blood- But the direction of the distress in his own Soul was from the living room.

He kept up his Defense. Ready his attack. And he rushed in the direction of it.

His Soul nearly dropped, shattered. His worse nightmare, nearly, just nearly, in front of him.

"SANS!" Papyrus raced towards his brother across the empty room. The t.v. on, music playing, but he couldn't hear it. Just everything focused on Sans.

Sans was on his side, his clothing burned and tattered, a bloodied hand stretched out across the floor and Papyrus grabbed it, letting magic race as he Checked him.

*Sans... ATK 5 DEF 1

*1/9 HP

*KARMA burning through his bones..

1 HP.

1 HP.

Just a single, sole, 1 HP.

Their entire lives, being so cautious and sure even as he got into fight after fight. Dodging. Using all of his time practicing his dodging while he focused on that rare difficult, corrosive magic KARMA while Papyrus worked to make sure he could heal. And heal- Papyrus was flooding his brother with as much healing magic as he could. Frantic.

How long had he been lying there? Not long, couldn't have been too long. 15 minutes.

Papyrus had to get him to the bathroom. The tablets.

His healing magic....

Something was wrong. Really wrong.

Wrong with him, wrong with Sans, something... He just didn't know what.

3 HP.

But it couldn't stay that easily- It dropped back down to 2...

Papyrus picked up his brother. Racing to the bathroom and putting him down into the tub. The key-

Papyrus raced to his room, pulling apart the drawer and digging it out.

Not even noticing....

He couldn't get his brother to take the tablet like this. He'd have to do the water. Letting the water run- Letting the green magic fill the room. But still his brother... Papyrus flooded in his own healing magic, even as it remained Wrong.

But things were starting to calm. The HP rising.... rising and staying risen.

Above 1 HP. No longer 1 HP. Safer. Okay..... Just tattered and sore. Magically drained even if physically now better. His brother was safe. His brother was going to be okay......

Papyrus collapsed beside the bath, resting his forehead against it as he shook.

1 HP...... His brother almost dusted at every second of their lives. Almost dusted on their living room floor. Blood...

Blood.

Sans groaned and Papyrus lifted his head, drawing closer.

"Sans." He urged. "Sans."

'Paps...." Sans managed..

"Sans what happened? Where is the human?"

"My eyes. A-Attacked..." He hissed. "My own stupid- blaster. Passed... passed out." Sans said. "Turn blue as... fled.. Prob... hiding.." Sans hissed, Papyrus could feel the anger and rage through the pain. "I'm going to- tear. bitch. pieces-"

"Shhh." Papyrus hushed him. "Just stay here and rest."

Sans chuckled lightly through the pain.

"Only.. only f-for you.." Sans said, falling back limply, resting his head and breathing erratically. But breathing. But still there. Whole. Not dust.

But he had almost been dust.

1 HP....

1.

Almost dead..............

Papyrus left the bathroom, magic racing through him. Attack magic. On guard and ready for anything. As he made his way back to the blood. There was some where he had found Sans. But another smear a in the hall.... leading towards his own room.

The orange flame was starting to blaze in Papyrus' right eye socket, something he nearly never got himself to the point of using.

Attack magic throughout his entire body. Ready...

And now that he was focusing on it, he could feel the small link between him and the collar. She realyl was in there. In his room. Hiding. She'd probably been looking for the key when he had come home...

Papyrus opened the door to his room, ready. Ready and willing. His intent growing with each step.

His brother had almost died.

But this time... he noticed.

Noticed the uneven, sharp breathing. The pained whimpers.

Papyrus kept his guard up, circling around the bed. And there the human was. Curled up in the corner, her face pressed up against the wall because it was the only thing supporting her. As she pressed her legt hand against her right arm, holding herself together.

The arm was broken, he could tell just by looking at her from this distance. Broken and there were bleeding clawed marks all over her from her struggle with Sans. The white shirt Sans had given her was covered in her own blood. It was a wonder she was still conscious-

But the sight of Sans on the ground, not moving, was still to fresh in his mind.

Papyrus reached out his hand, his magic forming several pointed bones, the anger-

"No." She breathed against the wall. "No, no, no..."

Papyrus stopped, doing his best to even out his angry breathing.

His brother had almost been dead...

Almost dead.

Would have been dead before a few weeks ago.

1 HP.

But at the same time.

The exact same time.....

He couldn't do it. He couldn't just destroy her like he oh so **wanted** to. Because Undyne had been right. They should have never let this thing into their house. He had gotten Sans a gift, a gift that had almost killed him. They were disgusting things that couldn't just die without taking everyone else with them.

His brother had almost been dead.

Dead.

But at the same time.....

Papyrus checked her.

*Chara ATK -- DEF 10

*9/28 HP

*Still dropping

*Running on pure ADRENALINE

He should let her bleed out even if he can't kill her. Let her bleed and die slowly in agonizing misery.

His brother had almost been dead.

But at the same time...

His fingers were shaking, still aiming his attack at her.

His brother had almost been dead.

His brother.... His brother...

"Why?" Papyrus asked. "You have just this one chance. Why?........ Why isn't.. Why isn't my brother dead..?"

His brother _should have been dead._

1 HP.

1 HP. It couldn't have been a coincidence. 1 HP.

His brother should have been dead.

"Don't- Don't know." She sobbed. "Don't-" She was just coming apart.

She really did not know.

And Papyrus just stared, watching her struggle. But not attacking either.

His brother should have been dead.

She was a human, they didn't know Mercy. That was why they did not deserve any in return.

Humans could not show Mercy....

There was never any Mercy.

But he could see that she really, truly, did not know the answer to his question. She wasn't lying.

She had shown Mercy and she could not understand it. He could not understand it.

But his brother should be dead.

Papyrus slowly eased his attacks out of existence, rechanneling the magical energy into his fingers as he started to come, slowly closer, to the human.

"No.." She whined as he began to crouch down. "No, please, please.... No... I don't know.. please."

Papyrus froze. But the girl didn't even seem to realize what it was that she was even doing, the implications of that little word. She was in too much pain and with too much of that chemical in her bleeding blood.

Papyrus grabbed her broken arm and she cried out. How was she still awake??

But he had to do this if he was to heal it. And heal it properly. Even a tablet at this point would not properly help. Papyrus sent another wave of Checking magic over her, feeling throughout her body. Her arm was broken, for sure. Ribs on her right side too. She was bleeding, not just externally. That was why her HP was still dropping, too.

Sans had slammed her into the floor, he realized. But with how hurt she was, that had to have come after she was off of him. After she had....

After she had spared... After she had started to flee.....

His brother should have been dead....

"Grit your teeth." He ordered. As if she wasn't already, but he wanted to make sure. This was going to hurt. He had to do something to basically.. set the bone.

The girl screamed loudly as he did and finally, finally, the girl fell forward and passed out completely. Papyrus laid her across the bed, the girl not coming to any more. No longer able to fight between in and out. Just out. As Papyrus did his best to flood her body with healing magic. To heal the bones properly. To stop the bleeding... And later, after, he would go back to get the tablet. But only after he had done this properly...

And once he got back to the bathroom, his brother was still passed out in the healing water. Still safer. Still alive.

Why?

Papyrus did not understand. And neither could the girl he managed to get just conscious enough again to swallow the pill-tablet.

And Papyrus was alone with his thoughts, his confusion, and things he had noticed and he was struggling hard to put together into place.. Trying to decide if he was supposed to pretend to not have. And if he didn't pretend.. Forget....... what was any of it supposed to mean?

But something... something was wrong...

And his own green, healing magic.... It felt like... It felt like what he felt when he had Checked the human's injuries. That feeling of internally bleeding. That was what this felt like. Deep inside him.

Something was wrong.

Several things were wrong.

But he didn't know which one to focus on first.

Except...

Except his brother. His brother who was alive.

He left the human to herself on his bed, healing with the tablet. And he focused on his brother. Putting him out of the water and onto his own bed....

And his cell was ringing.

Papyrus made his way out into the hall to answer, dreading Alphys voice.

"H-Hey... This is Papyrus."

"Where the fuck are you? They told me you disappeared from patrol after break. I was going to be worried! You are never late coming back from lunch!"

"I... I know..."

"Oh.. Oh hey, you sound bad. Papyrus are you okay?"

"I'm okay. We're okay. Now.."

"Now?" Her voice was no longer angry, just concerned.

"I'm just..." Oh shit, he was dizzy. Really dizzy. He had used too much magic. Everything was just so- "I need to sit down." He leaned back against the wall, sliding down.

"Where are you?" Alphys demanded.

"Home."

"I'll be right there."

"Don't tell Undyne-" Papyrus said quickly.

Though not exactly sure why......

 


	37. Jumbled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus just wants it to go back to normal... making mistakes just to get them there,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright maybe I lied again about not updating.  
> Fuck.  
> But also, this chapter is really blurry too. Mostly because I COULD NOT write it any more indepth without going, Omg. So we get vague. And also I chalk it up to the fact there is a lot of magic and anger going around and Papyrus blatantly not wanting to think about things.  
> So he doesn't.  
> So it's jumbled now but when it calms down we'll get more introspective. I suppose.

"Where are they?" Alphys' voice as she entered in the still open front door, never shut from when Papyrus' had made his own frantic entrance- it was immediate. Not a moment's hesitation.

Papyrus was in the kitchen, drinking something to replenish all the magic he had drained... Even though he was still shaking... He wasn't sure if that was from the use of magic or the shock and ebbing panic now.

"Bedrooms." He told her. "Sans in his. He's just resting now." He was following behind her as she raced to the room. She stopped in the door, letting out an uneven breath, before entering the room and sitting down beside him.

"Fuck." She breathed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

Papyrus felt her own Checking magic in the air. She sighed heavily and lowered her head. She stayed like that for a few moments... Looking at his brother's face. His limp weight. She held his hand in both of hers. Gritting her teeth in emotional pain.

"Wh-What happened?" She asked.

"I'm not... sure." Papyrus admitted. "The human attacked him. When I came home, he.. he only had 1 HP left." Alphys had her eyes covered with a single hand.

"This is m-my fault." She whispered. "All my-"

"No. No it isn't. Not your fault- And he is alright now." Papyrus assured again, though his voice was shaking. Alphys looked up, noticing.

"Oh, hey." She stood up and rushed over towards him, embracing him tightly as he started to cry.

He's just so exhausted and relieved... but confused and he just... he needs to sleep, he knows. Day isn't even over and he is just ready to crash. But still so shaken and confused and-

Alphys squeezed him but then started to pull away, looking directly into his face. Papyrus tried to recollect himself, clearing his throat.

It was alright. Sans was alright.......

He should have been dead but he was alright...

He should have been dead-

"He's alright, just like you said. You did really well. Quick thinking and the best healing magic there is."

Right... His healing magic....

Something wrong...

Undyne had said it was the human though, another thing because of the human not just the fact that his brother had almost died, but at the same time... The same time....

Papyrus shook his head, trying to clear his skull.

"No, mean it. Best there is. Proud. Acted quickly just as a Royal Guard should."

He didn't want to hear about the Royal Guard at the moment, if he was honest. He just kinda wanted to be alone to think. But he needed her. Her hands on his shoulders as he felt like a little child. His world very, very much like a junior jumble and he had always hated those. She spent a few more moments helping him calm down again before finally, her expression shifted. Her grip tighten.

"Where is Chara?" Alphys asked. Papyrus' Soul pulsed, really not ready to go back to that subject in the slightest. "She in your room?" Alphys asked. She seemed torn between staying there, supporting him, and racing to the other bedroom.

"Yes." Papyrus answered, turning away from Alphys, giving her the opening. Alphys walked quickly. Too quickly, towards the other room. "W-Wait." Papyrus sped up, sliding between her and the door.

Not sure why...

"Out of my way, Papyrus."

"She can't handle anything right now, she's almost just as bad, and more broken up, and her healing is off, and- just- I just healed her and I'm exhausted and I think we should just wait before- I just gave her a tablet, it would be a waste. She's out of it. Doing anything to her now pointless and would do all my hard work to salvage the thing."

"Let me through." Alphys ordered. Papyrus could feel the anger, the desire to tear something apart. Papyrus relented, letting Alphys through.

He supposed dealing with this could not be made to wait.

The door opened and Alphys stormed in, only to stop... Stop and stare at the absolutely broken girl on the bed. Still breathing in clear pain even as her bones were pieced back together and the tablet's magic racing through her.

And Papyrus just wants a moment. A moment. To just calm down and to figure it out. To understand and rationalize everything. What he is planning on doing next. But he supposed that didn't matter. There was only one right path for what came next and it was clear.

But to his surprise, he saw Alphys' shoulders fall, the anger and tension easing.

"You said... he had 1 HP left."

"Y-Yeah.." The memory hurt again, but the confusion resurged. But Alphys did not say anything to that. She walked forward, around the bed, eyeing the blood still there in the corner where the human had huddled, holding herself together. Begging....

There really was only one course of action left.

Alphys sat on the bed beside the broken girl, reaching both hands to hold her face. Almost... gentle...

"Ch-Chara..." Alphys urged softly. There was no response. "Chara..."

The girl moaned but she couldn't be woken fully. The tablet, a full one, through her entire body. Healing her. The pain. And previously broken bones.

Alphys adjusted her grasp on the girl's face, staying like that for a moment longer before turning her face towards Papyrus.

"S-Sans is going to kill her."

And instinctively: "Just like she deserves."

Because that is the correct answer. The expected one.

But Alphys' face when he says it. As he stands tall and unmoved and with a stern expression because he isn't supposed to be confused and it is just his shock and _nerves_.

But Alphys' face, her expression and her opening mouth.

Was that.... Was that not the expected one? But it was _correct_ \- That he knew-

"Alphys?" Papyrus managed.

He just wanted a moment to stop-

But Alphys was turning away from him again, letting her hands slid away from the human's face.

"Right." She said. "R-Right.. D-Duh."

"Alphys-" Papyrus tried again, but she just stood up, brushing her hands against her legs, as if to get the touch of the human off of her. And Papyrus let it slip away from him. There was just too much going around and still, he sort of wanted to pass out.

"You l-look sick." Alphys said, coming back towards him and grabbing his arm.

They left the unconscious girl to herself, closing the door behind them.

She dragged him into the living room, past the blood. And past the table, into the kitchen, setting him down in the tall chairs that pressed up against the island. Sitting him down like a child.

"I'll make us some.... Some r-ramen." She stated, getting some out of the cupboard. "Or... Or maybe a can of chicken noodle? What.. Wh-Wh-what do you want?" Papyrus shook his head, not knowing, not sure. She pulled out the soup.

She made it, letting the minutes tick by in silence between them as Papyrus shook. The soup when he finally got it was hot, delicious, salty, but he couldn't really taste it. But the warmth... Seeping into his bones. The replenishing magic. It did help. Really helped. Alphys pushed over the drink he had abandoned when she had arrived.

The cat meowed, coming through the flap in the back door that led out to the porch. It waltzed its way, as if nothing had happened. As if nothing was wrong. But everything was very, very wrong.

"I'll st-stay the night. Call us all off for tomorrow. Just... I'll h-handle it."

"Right." Papyrus agreed. "Right."

But it was only and hour, just an hour and a half, Alphys helping Papyrus clean up the blood in the living room and hall. An hour and a half. With the cat at first very, very interested in the blood until the chemicals had made it hiss and flee back towards the door.... when Papyrus' soul pulsed, and he felt his brother.

Sans came staggering through the hall. Holding his main blanket around him and letting it trail behind. His face was an exhausted scowl.

Papyrus could feel the rage, driving him forward before anything else.

"Where...?" He managed. Still very much in the fight. Ready..

"Sans!" Papyrus was up, grabbing his brother and helping him over to the couch, but Sans jerked back.

"Where is she?" Sans demanded again.

"In my room." Papyrus offered, but reached out for his brother again. "But that can wait."

Sans laughed, but it was cruel and not at all jovial. He was smiling. But clearly so angry. He was still laughing.

"I'm going to fucking wreck her. Literally. Wreck. Fuck. Wreck. What Undyne did to her will look like a piece of fucking **_Mercy_**. Going to give her a **new** worse memory."

Alphys lifted her head at this, but didn't say anything. Didn't ask.

"Can wait. She wouldn't survive it anyways." Papyrus stated again.

"Who fucking cares." Sans seethed.

"You promised." Alphys cut in. Sans jolted, finally noticing her.

"Alph.." He said hazily.

"You promised." Alphys reminded. "Not over until she squeals, you said. Until she begs."

................... But she had begged.

It is there in the back of Papyrus' mind. There was nothing holding it back. Just killing her now. He could just say something and it would be over. The confusion gone and it was as simple as that and he didn't have to deal with any of the things jumbled in his head.

"And she spared you." He said instead though, the words just coming right out. Sans glared at him, as if in pure disbelief.

"Spared?" He demanded. "You think that was what that fucking was? **Spared**?! **_Mercy_**?! Where was she going to go if she killed me? There's a chip in her fucking wrist, can't ever be free unless she cuts herself fucking open and bleeds to get it. And the collar itself and fucking bitch to get off. She can't do any of that alone. That's the reason it's set up like that. No. That wasn't fucking mercy, that was her saving her self last minute! But boy, oh boy am I going to make her regret it. So fucking regret it. She's gonna wish I'll kill her. Don't let her stupid act fool you Paps, that was how I got into this. Thinking she was out when it was just a game. She can't fucking- Fucking humans. Just can't fucking die and leave enough alone. Can't just fucking die and not take someone else with ya- Fucking, I'm going to fuck her, in every sense of it. **Fucking destroy her.** " The anger was just mounting with each word. Papyrus forced his brother to sit down.

"You're in no shape for it." Alphys countered. "You're hurt too and need rest. Papyrus, go get him something to eat." Papyrus didn't move though, not wanting to leave his brother's side... Alphys sighted and stood up.

"If you are g-going to be like th-this, I'm taking her. I'm t-taking her with me. To my house. For the n-night. To let you guys-"

"You fucking take her out of this house-"

"Sans." Papyrus cut in. But he looked up at Alphys too. "You're not taking her." He agreed. If she went with Alphys, he had no guarantee Alphys wouldn't.. But if the girl stayed, and Papyrus was close by.. "She..."

Just wanted a moment, Papyrus just wanted a moment to sort everything out. Why couldn't they all just do that?

"She's getting what she deserves, **tonight**. Go get me that food, I'm shaking with magic from that fucking tablet and tablet bath- I just need to get it out and I am just going to fucking-"

"Listen to your _doctor_." Alphys said sternly. She turned to Papyrus. Her expression begging.

But.... But Papyrus...

"He'll be alright. He can rest tomorrow."

Alphys' expression.... More of that shock but this time it at least made sense. Papyrus agreed, not tonight. But if they did it tonight... Got it out of the way and out of Sans' system, while he was weak himself...

There was at least a chance of the girl making it out of this alive.

But the fact remained in the confusion, jumbled-ness of his mind that this should not have mattered.

This was not the game he should have been playing.

But his brother should have been dead.

And his brother was right, that hadn't been real Mercy-

Her begging to be spared-

But she had said she didn't know-

Papyrus.....

Alphys was upset, it was clear. And she left.... Stating she would not stay to watch them be idiots. C-Could not stay...

And as guilty as Papyrus felt, knowing she was right, he also had... He had to get this past him. Just past. Out of their systems.

The girl had consequences for her actions.

And a part of it.... It was probably best to have it done and over with... And at a point where she was probably too magically-drugged to really, truly remember it in the morning.

Sans had eaten, soup for him too. Two bowls of it. Looking a lot better. In fact the only real thing off was the tired expression and the buzz around him. Also hyped up on energy. But he'd had an advantage the girl did not. He was a monster, magic his domain. He had also been at 1 HP, his own KARMA burned into his bones. But he had not had anything broken. And he had soaked so long in the bath....

And the girl. Papyrus stood outside the door of his own bedroom as Sans went it and grabbed her harshly.

He wanted to avoid this. Wanted to go stop his brother and just let them take a moment to rest. But that would lead to Sans being more focused and methodical when he punished her. Or.. Or...

Oh Toriel, Alphys was right this was a mistake.

But Sans already had the girl screaming, having forced her awake with his hand in her hair and already she was crying- No.

Half awake and terrified.

"You do that again and I'll fucking cut your hands off!" Sans raged. "No amount of tablets or magic to fix it!"

Sans was going to kill her.

Papyrus rushed into the room, grabbing the girl by the wrists and holding her down... As Sans tore into her, undoing all of Papyrus' own hard work... And Papyrus kept flooding the human with the replenished healing magic he had, and sticking a finger in her mouth. Pressing her tongue against her bottom teeth.

Ensuring she would not beg.

He'd held her down.

Just like he had before. Like the first day. Like the second day. Watching her expression, keeping an eye on Sans. Just like the first two days. Just like every other time. But his bleeding, afflicted healing magic flooding through her, and the scream from her Soul shaking through him. Her physical scream echoing in his skull.

And still... He was not sure why he was even doing it.

His mind and his magic a jumbled mess. And Sans was jumbled too.

And the girl...

Papyrus dared not Check her.

Desperately not needing something else to add to the pile of mounting confusion.

And he just wanted- Just a moment-

But it was over. Over sooner than it would have been if they had waited, Sans exhausted and worn. Papyrus exhuasted but determined to see this through. As his brother sat back, smiling. As Papyrus rehealed her broken ribs. The fracture in her resplintered arm. As he strained... And they threw her into the closet, as healed as Papyrus could and one last tablet, only a quarter, forced under her tongue.

And Papyrus slept in his brother's room. Too keep him close, still worried. Still shaking.

But also because he was too tired to change the bloodied, ruined sheets in his room.

And he was just too tired. Too exhuasted.

And in his chest, still bleeding. Something wrong.

But too tired, too jumbled.

Just wanting it to be tomorrow.

Tomorrow where they could just Reset and go back to how it was again. The correct responses making sense and where he had just a moment. A moment.....

But Sans was talking, both their eyes closed and there was darkness all around.

"Still not strong enough." Sans murmured. "Still..."

Having to get stronger. Kill or be killed and stil so.. so easily killed. By something that was basically an object with an object's intent. His own fucking attack- Own attack...

Using him as a fucking sheild for his own attack.

How he kept thinking about Papyrus. Leaving his brother alone, and how scared he had been.....

Not goingto be like that again.

And Papyrus just nodded. Though he couldn't be seen. Though he was drained and his magic bleeding.

Not understanding. Confusion.

Exhausted.

Just wanting the day to be over. The sun to rise. And everything be the same.....

When everything just made sense.

He just wanted a moment... Just a moment...

But all there was, was darkness and his mind slipping away finally into silence.

 


	38. You're Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're hurt and something's wrong....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got half of my school work done and now Imma go work on the second half. I got this. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................  
> Sh.

_"Frisk!" She had screamed, frantically coming to a stop, keeping her dagger close but breathing so frantically,_ so frantic as she stared wide eyed at Frisk's terrified face- Her anger and violent intent had cut off. Replaced by the panic. "Frisk move, Frisk get out of the way-"

He had his back to the enemy, his back completely turned and exposed. His back to the enemy and his arms spread out protectively even as Chara took a step forward to push him behind her. To get him behind her and out of harm's way. But he took a step back, closer to the enemy who could kill him, just kill him like that- a flying bullet for sure.

"Frisk!" She cried, the anger returning, rage surging through her. The violent intent as she snarled, her dagger in her hands. "Frisk get out of the way!" She demanded.

"It's hurt." Frisk stated.

"It's going to be a lot more than hurt and its better than it being you-"

"No, it's hurt, you can escape, we can just escape." Chara took another step forward and Frisk took a step back, arms still out but his expression still frightened, terrified. "Just let it go. Chara, Chara, please just let it go!"

Chara was snarling at him, wanting to grab him forcefully and shove him behind her, away from that thing!

"Char-"

She grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back, holding her dagger sure and rising it above her head as the monster glared her down.

But two arms wrapped around her from behind in a tight hug. Desperately-

"LET GO!" Chara demanded.

"No." Frisk cried against her. "No, no... You're hurt, something's wrong..."

"I'm FINE! You're being an idiot!" She raged, using her free hand to grip at his writs, to pull him off. To allow herself to bend forward and finish this while her enemy lay in front of her- "It's kill or be killed. Letting it go- It'll just follow us, find us again. And I'm tired! Tired! THAT'S what's wrong! I'm tired of being hunted and scared and it's all THEIR fault!! And I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm TIRED OF IT! Sick and tired and I'm going to get rid of everything in my way from now on!"

And the monster was glaring at her, not even truly terrified. Just glaring and curious and could be trying to escape but not and it was make the rage fill her even more. The murderous intent inside her as she screamed, trying to get out of Frisk's tight hold.

"Chara, please.." He begged. "Please, something's-"

She twisted towards him, finally out of his hold. And she pushed him with all of her strength onto the ground.

And there was another moment, her standing tall, dagger in hand, as she snarled down at Frisk. Her back turned to the enemy- All her intent focused on.....

On.... On Frisk's terrified, crying face...

"Something's wrong. It's not fine... You're hurt and s-something's w-w-wrong..." He cried.

Chara turned her attention back to the monster, still not having moved, still glaring... But not having striked. Chara took a step back. Feeling very, very lost for a moment. Turning back to Frisk, still crying... and Chara could feel the tears in her own eyes.

"F-Frisk..."

"Something's wrong." He said again. "You're hurt and something's wrong... You're hurt.. hurt, Chara please, please..."

So terrified and worried...

"Frisk..." She walked closer, still holding the dagger, unable to let go of the dagger, but tears streaming down her face as she came back to Frisk on the ground. But he didn't even flinch. Not even scared of her, only for her. Immediately reaching out his hands despite the fact that she had just shoved him. Despite standing over him armed and wanting to hurt.

"Please, Chara... You're hurt.."

She grabbed him, despite so desperately wanting to flee from herself. Flee from him. But she grabbed him and obeyed. Grabbed him and the two of them fled the Fight. Fled and ran and ran, the two of them crying and running until they couldn't anymore and Chara was dizzy, dizzy, so confused as the two of them pressed up together in a corner, holding each other tightly.

"Please..."

* * *

 

She'd begged....

Chara had begged.

She couldn't stop thinking about it, how it was over, over, over, she had begged. She barely remembered it, barely there, huddled in the corner so scared of Papyrus coming towards her, scared of what he was going to do and it had just come out of her. Begged. She'd begged and now she was dead, going to be dead. After they were just done with her, she was just going to be dead and they were going to take her Soul and put it in a jar and she was dead... and Undyne would have her fun but not before they were done having theirs.

She remembered begging and then this sense of burning magic through her.

And then the torture. Sans digging into her, even as he forced himself inside her, the taste of blood and her tears and just the pain... And Papyrus. Papyrus the worse one- Papyrus holding her down. Papyrus healing her, keeping her just enough alive, just enough conscious. Prolonging it all. Them holding her down and not letting her just die.

She was dead.

Already dead.

Still breathing but dead.

Not even a day ago had she been content to it, why she had driven herself against Sans to begin with. But she had stopped. Stopped, she shouldn't have stopped, why had she stopped. Why did she stop?

She's lost everything...

They were not going to stop.

Why... At the prospect of dying why was she somehow afraid?

But she could just see his terrified face. But also the smiling on. The one when she had come back for him the first time. Telling her his name.

_"I'm Frisk!"_

And the River Person had said. Important had gone back.

Important you had stayed.

Temmie.

Temmie....

But she was dead. She was going to be dead. She'd begged. One thing truly keeping her alive, and she had lost it. Lost everything. Everything.

And there was darkness. Only darkness and pain, and the memory of hands against her skin as she slipped in and out of consciousness. So much magic. Too much magic. Racing through her as she lay face down in the darkness, too much of it, magic. Healing, necessary, keeping her alive.

But just so she could survive the night of suffering and they were going to kill her or keep doing something worse and she would at every moment be just waiting to die. No more fight. No more choice. Her one choice, one, single choice and chance, she had given it up. She had begged...

She was dead....

And it would be long. And painful. And still, she was going to die.

Just drawing it out... The cruelty. Cruel...

Her body in so much pain, and aflame... the magic... her own body trying to handle it all... The pain... Fire against her skin... The impersonal, intense artificial healing magic...

And she was vaguely aware, the door to the closet opening, she doesn't know how much longer later. And eternity.

And all she can do, is let out a low whine.... This was it. This is it. All night waiting... Leaving her to suffer in her pain only to finally kill her or worse... Leaving her to her misery and now she would die.

It's Sans.

Sans over her, taking her face and turning it towards him. Sneering, though she can make out that he is still tired, too...

"Held out." He praised.

And tears were in her eyes, just wanting him to get it over with, please just get it over with. But she knew that if she asked he would jsut draw it out longer. Not begging had once kept her alive, now it kept her one step closer to death. He was the cat, playing with the mouse, and the mouse's only escape was to lay there and be allowed to finally just die....

But in all the haze of her mind, she could still see his sneering expression, angry expression.

"Didn't expect ya to hold on, pet. To still not just give up and beg. But that's just the way you fucking are, **ain't** it?"

And Papyrus is there, a figure in her hazy mind, standing behind his brother, but Chara just...

Playing Sans' bitter words, truly bitter at her, but she is playing it in her mind. Over and over. Realizing... Realizing... but it did not make any sense.

"I'm going back to bed." Sans breathed and let Chara's face drop painfully back down, even as he himself stood up, and staggered his way back towards his room.

And there was Papyrus... Papyrus reaching down to pick her up. And there was the bathroom, steam rising all around. The hot water against her skin, burning the cuts but easing the tension inside of her. But he had the key. The case that held the tablets, and Chara could only whine against the side of the tube. Not wanting it, at all. She was in so much pain but the tablets were, while healing, just too much, too much. Too much and it was unnatural and her body knew it. Too intense and forcing her body back together without any real care...

But perhaps not just to prolong it like she had thought though she does not understand.

And Papyrus looked down at her.

But she is too exhausted to protest and he cannot understand that, too much intense, unnatural magic, or perhap he does not care.... As he slipped the tablet into the water. And she is just too weak, too weak.....

She knows Sans is in his room, but still she has to think, where is he? Alert and waiting.... And hands. Papyrus' hands against her and she can only close her eyes.

But she is not dead. She isn't dead. She does not understand.

Does not understand as he picks her up again and carries her not to the closet but to his bedroom.

And she tensed, despite the pain, despite her exhaustion.

"No..." She whined weakly, almost begging again, but held off, confused, confused-... And he does not do anything but tuck her into the now clean sheets and she realizes, the sun through the window, it's not morning. Not morning.... A little past morning... But still she is just so tired... But cannot close her eyes, not wanting to be on the bed. The memories in her head and the fear but confusion...

She had begged. She'd begged, Papyrus had heard it.... She _hadn't_ held on she had begged. She did not understand.

Did not understand as he forced soup into her mouth. Warm, hot and salty but making her gag. And she remembered, she had decided. Not to eat. Not to survive.

Why was Sans still alive?

Why had she so desperately not wanted to die as Papyrus had approached her?

There's too much. Too much...

But she manages to keep eating, slowly, but eating. The warmth from the shower and warmth from the soup, and her body burning and shaking and there is too much.

But once she was done eating and Papyrus helped her lay back and began to leave her. Leave her on the bed alone, not touching her.

Not telling his brother that she had begged....

Chara breathed out, her eyes closing, too tired. Too much... Just letting her mind slip away. Finally. Not just unconscious, but actually sleeping. Even as everything was a haze and a blur and too much.

She slept, knowing that somehow she was still, somehow not dead just yet.

She did not understand.

* * *

 

"I'm sorry." Chara sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry- Sorr-"

Pressing Frisk... Frisk, her brother, the closest thing she had to a brother, the one person she had ever loved and who loved her back. And she pressed him as tight, as close as possible...

"So, so sorry..."

* * *

 

And Papyrus slipped back into the bed beside his brother, still tired too though they had all slept for so long already. But he knew that all his brother would do today is sleep.. Maybe go for a walk later, too. Just to help unwind... And Papyrus closed his eyes, just close to his brother and that was all he needed at the moment. Just to keep feeling his brother there.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

And none of these ideas, could even line up.


	39. The Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So......  
> Things are horrible right?  
> Can't get any worse right?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last character spew. To get it out of my system. So we can get back on track.  
> And time can move forward.

He needed even more power. More and more power. That feeling.... As HP, ATK, DEF, EXP, LV increased.... With each and every time that numbered increased, that feeling....

Sans needed it.

He needed more of it.

Tearing into Chara, he had truly hoped she would have begged. He would have killed her right then and there in the morning. Did exactly what she had been afraid he was going to do. Let her lay there all night, kill her in the morning. But she had held out, so Sans knew. She'd held out. And he had felt a small obligation to hold his promise.

Not in any obligation to _her_. What was a promise to some fucking human? No. It was to himself. To be _better_ than her. And how his Soul was burning in rage and hatred. At how she'd tricked him. He'd let himself be tricked. How she had used his own attack and KARMA against him. How she had dared not even pull through and fucking finish the job. The coward. The fucking bitch.

He had a torrent of different emotions.

Hating her for getting the upper hand. Hating her for not pulling through. Hating her for doing it in the first place. Hating her. Hating her so fucking much. Just hating.

She'd been a curiosity at first but now she was pissing him off.

But he supposed he did have to thank her. She had only validated his wants, the itch in his soul. He needed to become stronger still. He didn't have enough LV, that dream to be able to protect-

How could he protect his brother if he couldn't even protect himself? She had asked it. She had been right. It was what had driven him. Driven him from the very beginning.

His first memory-

He always held it tight though the only person he had ever admitted that to was Undyne, because she _understood_. She was the only one in his small group of friends who could. They were too similar, and that made them clash at times, but when they did connect...

And he had told her the thing he had never told anyone. One night a long time ago. Not even telling Papyrus because he would just worry.

His first memory, of his teeth feeling loose and grainy, the taste of dust, his own joints wanting to come apart. And being just lucky, lucky enough, someone healing him. Though he was never sure who. Didn't matter. That wasn't the important part of the memory, it was that feeling.

That feeling of almost dusting. That feeling and knowing you just lost everything though he couldn't even remember that part. He can't remember anything before being half conscious, less than even a single HP. Decimal points. Mere decimals. Past decimal points........

He knew that was why he'd had 1 HP. He'd been basically dust and somebody had put him back together. Literally put him back together. Rewound death itself.

And he couldn't remember anything from before.

And after, he only remembers waking up in the hospital. Turning his head, and knowing that the boy in the bed next to his was someone important.

Brother.

Papyrus.

He'd lost everything, but he couldn't remember that. All he could remember was that this was his brother. And after everything else, he had lost everything else but Papyrus had been the only thing to ever matter anyways.

And Sans had decided. The first thing he had decided. He was never going to feel like that again. He was going to be strong. He was going to be powerful. No one was going to be able to touch him or his brother. And if they dared tried, he was going to destroy them.

And his brother, behind him the whole way. Healing him when needed, helping him. They were in this together. Even as Sans had to drag Papyrus with him at times. To focus. To stay focused. As Sans tunnel visioned to one thing. One. The main goal, the far future it had been. And Papyrus dragged him back down to Earth. The present. Because they joked, oh they joked about him being lazy. But he was no such thing.

Lazy, that was efficient in the way that you found the easiest way to do something. Lazy in the fact that he focused on one thing at a time and maybe forgot that laundry and dishes were supposed to be done too. Lazy in that he was so tunneled visioned. Focused. Driven. But lazy, they said with a smile. As he joked about making macaroni 'n cheese and hot dogs.

As he dreamed and planned about the future. Drove them forward. Taking Papyrus along with him. Making sure Papyrus was forceful enough, tough enough, willing to do what was needed and understood how these things worked. Another point he and Undyne had connected. Papyrus. Papyrus their center point.

Undyne just as, perhaps even more, driven and tunnel visioned than Sans. Always, the two of them looking to the future and Papyrus keeping them grounded. As they made sure he stayed ready and prepared. Prepared for anything.

All that time practicing. Knowing one false move and he could be dust. But... But determined. Determined.

And growing ever more determined as time passed. With that first feeling from his first memory, and everything in the group home. Having nothing. Everything an uphill battle. Everything set against him making him even more spiteful and determined to get up and out.

For the future.

To get to the future.

The dream.

But the future was now. The present. Finally. Finally they had been supposed to have made it. That close to reaching the dream Sans had wanted for so fucking long. Since his very first memory.

And still he wasn't strong enough. Almost dusted. Dusted almost on his own living room floor. His own fucking attack.

She had used his own attack. His own hard work.... His own determination. Against him. And still, still, she had found a way to hold on.

Still she was breathing. Fighting. Keeping herself alive....

Humans.

Humans, he knew they were the reason he had lost everything the first time. Like Undyne had, much later. But he couldn't remember. They were this distant, faceless thing before. Stories. Nightmares against the walls of the city. Coming, breaking in, explosions, and receding.

Now staring on in the face.

Sweet Toriel, how he hated her.

Sweet Toriel had ripping his fingers into her skin, his hands, breaking her bones, hearing her scream, blood.

His enemy had a face. Was real against his hand. And still. He was still not stronger than his enemy. And that just made him even angrier.

He knew he should calm down. That he was playing into her hands... But at the same time. The same time... He couldn't. It was getting harder and harder now that his goal was just so close and yet he still couldn't grasp it.

And Sans grasped her face with one hand as Papyrus held her standing up in front of him, out in the hall next to the closet door, ready to throw her back in after Papyrus had, though Sans had been bitter about it, had fed the human supper.

Her legs were shaking, only standing because Papyrus was holding her up. And Sans glared. Wanting half to skin her alive and another half just to snap her fucking neck.

But a part of him thinks that, if she had let go and given up, begged... He would have still kept her alive. Alive for a very long long time. Just to be able to keep ripping into her.

Though if it wasn't for Papyrus he knew that she would have very well died last night, in hindsight now that he thought about it with a slightly cleared head.

She really had almost died last night. If his brother just hadn't been there. Promise or no promise. But oh well. What was a promise to a human? And he felt better about it too. Though not satisfied. Still not satisfied. Just hungrier. His fingers itching.

And he pressed tighter against her chin, digging the tips into her skin.

"Don't fuck with me again." He said, glowering into her face as Papyrus still held her steady.

"That's exactly what I'm trying.." She had managed bitterly.

And Sans slapped her. She'd gasped, only standing because of Papyrus. Only alive because of Papyrus.

Her heart was racing, he could tell. Because perhaps she could see that murderous look, that violent spark, not easing inside of him.

Perhaps, if he took a moment. To rationalize this was a good thing. That she was fighting again.

But now Sans was realizing what Chara had figured out awhile ago. What Chara had figured out the first day. As he had stood over her after she had done the same thing to Papyrus. After plunging her fist straight through Papyrus' head. She had known then. And now Sans knew too.

This had _never **actually**_ been about the _Fight_.

He's been an idiot to think it.

This was just about fucking destroying her. Destroying her from the inside out and all the little fun things for him were a bonus.

This was not about the fight.

This was about power. Domination.

He would break her. The end was the goal, not just the result.

He had his hand around her neck, pressing, making it difficult for her to breathe, her legs still weak and wanting to give out but forced to stand, forced to take it.

Before she died.... Before he killed her.... He wanted to be as strong as possible. Actually strong. Stronger than her in everyway.

He was going to destroy her.

Destroy her. And every other fucking human. Undyne was right. Everyone else was right. Every thing that had ever been said about the stupid things. Everything he had ever heard and taken in but had just shrugged off, it was true but whatever, wasn't important to him. But no. No.... He was going to destroy her.

They couldn't just die. And there was still a whole valley full of them. And entire mountain, protected and taunting.

"Sans." Papyrus' voice cut in, and Sans let go of her neck. Taking a deep breath.

He was right. Papyrus was right. Think about the now. The now. Throwing the bitch into the closet for the night. Making sure she understood.

She had been hell before but now it had just gotten several degrees hotter. She was not going to like it. At all.....

He tossed the girl in, slamming the door shut loudly and locking it with exaggerated effect. And he went to go back to his room, pulling out his phone. Wanting to text Aaron. Text Aaron though he hated the asshole. He would go to the dumps with them. And text Alphys and Undyne. This bitch needing her full lesson-

Papyrus had a hand on his shoulder and Sans jumped, nearly teleporting out of it. He hadn't realized he was breathing so hard until he stopped to take a moment.

And Sans and Papyrus were in his bed again, curled up next to each other asleep just like they had done all throughout their childhood, just holding onto the other because that was all they really had and Papyrus saying that was all that they needed and while Sans agreed, all he needed was his brother, but that didn't mean he couldn't stop from wanting more. From _having_ more.

They **_deserved_** more.

 

......... And Chara... Chara stayed curled up in the darkness alone, so sore, so in pain, tasting blood again or perhaps she was imagining it and that was all she knew anymore. Blood and pain.

And she knew. One more thing that Sans didn't. She knew... Felt...

It was as if some sort of fuse..... some fuse had been....

... And it made her tense, her stomach twisting. Perhaps she was wrong. She hoped she was wrong. That it all wound down. He would wind down.... But her mind was clearer now, less magic racing through her. And she knew..... Things should only be getting worse from here on out.

But at the same time, still confused... Confused...

And even though she had slept all day already, the darkness was pulling her back in and she closed her eyes, falling apart. And she stayed half conscious. Pulling in an out, like she was resting the boat coasting through the waters of the river... As time passed on, tears in the back of her eyes.

Just lost and confused.

 


	40. Spare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations.  
> Some more successful than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CHANGED THINGS  
> If you read this chapter before. I changed things at the end because I did not appreciate the tone it set up. And it revealed things too early. And it was just Too Much and Not What I Wanted.

_Her head hurt. Hurt from crying. Frisk against her,_ fast asleep from crying himself. But Chara could not sleep. Something sick was racing in her blood. Sick and she was alert. She could not rest. Just holding onto Frisk. Breathing in with staggering breath.

And something had snapped down the alleyway they had hidden in after their made dash and she turned her head to face it. Holding Frisk tight. Tight.

She looked up, hearing the pattering of feet against metal. And gold, slinted cat-like eyes peered down at her. Glaring.

Chara had her dagger still, unable to let go of the dagger but also unable to let go of Frisk.

It had followed them. The cat-dog-like monster. And it was glaring. Wordlessly. Glaring above them. And Chara's heart raced.

She held up the dagger, threateningly but did not let go of Frisk. Just a warning. A warning that she would. As she checked it.

It still only with 1 HP. Still at the disadvantage....

And she knew that was the only reason it slinked away again. Into the shadowy darkness and out of sight. And Chara's heart was racing... Racing.

* * *

 

Chara's heart was racing, someone was unlocking the door and she hadn't been able to tell who it was before it opened.

Papyrus stood tall over her, a shadow in the light of the hallway, she couldn't see his face... And he was bending down, grabbing her wrist. Chara's eyes squeezed shut as he forced her to stand. Everything was still just so sore. Her arm, her ribs, remembering they were supposed to be broken-

"If you want to finish breakfast before Sans is out of the shower you best stop it." Papyrus ordered as she tried to pull away. Chara gave up the fight, being forced to lean up against him as her entire body shook. She just couldn't stop shaking. Hurting. Everything intense and painful. And she couldn't stop just being so exhausted.

He sat her down at the table, Chara's stomach turning at the memory of the last time she had been there. With Sans...... And Papyrus slid the bowl of oatmeal across the surface to her. And Chara took the spoon, doing her best to ignore it. To forget it. Not think about it... Or the despair that had made her just... just lay there and take it...... Just lay there.....

That same despair still very much there inside her chest but also the confusion.

She glanced towards Papyrus as she managed to eat. Managed to swallow. But he was not looking at her, just pretending to play with something on the sleeve of his jacket. Brushing it off, then. And Chara just ate, as quickly as she could. Not daring to speak-

And she was back in the closet again, by the time she heard Sans in the hall, Papyrus having put her back in without another word to her or her to him.

And she's in the darkness, listening to the two of them move around. And she could hear Sans coming closer and instinctively, she did her best to get into the corner, her body protesting in continued pain. But he only kicked at the door.

"Have a nice day, pet."

And then he was gone. The light in the hall turned off. And she was alone. The darkness....

The ironically, safe, darkness.

She sighed and put her head against her knees.

But it did not last, the light turned back on a minute later and her mind panicked.

They should have been gone. Been gone! Left! To work!

Please, please, please just let them leave...

But the closet was open again.

It's Papyrus. Chara held her breath, hugging her knees. Heart racing. But all he did was hold out his hand, offering one last tablet to her, still wrapped neatly in its packaging even.

She shook her head.

"You don't have to take it all at once." He told her. "It's to get you through the day."

He spoke calmly. Emotionlessly.

And she was just so confused.... So confused....

But the tablet....

She took it and pulled it close holding it, as Papyrus shut the door and locked her in again.

And she heard him walking away... Towards the exit she knows he had already left through once before with his brother... before looping back around to give this to her....

She held it close. The packet crinkling... The packet... The tablet.... The blanket beneath her. Chara crawled over to the other corner, feeling for the corner. Needing to hide it. Hide it... Just in case. In case they ever threw her in here without one.

Or in case.. In case she got something sharp. Something sharp and pointed like a knife. Sharp enough to get the chip... The chip buried deep inside her wrist.

You'd still pass out, something in the back of her mind told her. Pass out from the wound or pass out from the tablet. Bleed out. Still die.

But she did not care. It was something she had to plan for... She had no other options.

And as for the pain she was still feeling right now.

Well.....

It was just pain.

Just pain.

She'd felt worse.

* * *

 

It wasn't just pain inside her chest. Frisk was right, it was something wrong. In her soul. Something sick and wrong. They had to get out of here. Out of the Ruins. Away from people. Away from everything.

He was right, he was right....

Something was wrong. Everything was wrong.... She'd known it. In the back of her head. Something was wrong. Wanting to search out, even those who were in hiding. Wanting to chase down even those who ran. Wanting to kill those even cowering in corners as she loomed over them. She'd wanted it, thought it. She'd wanted it. To protect. And it had eaten at her, a tooth that nibbled at the Soul. That power... She wouldn't have stopped. Wouldn't have stopped....

She'd hurt Frisk. She'd _wanted_ to hurt-

Never again. Never. She'd never feel like this again. She'd never hurt Frisk again.

The two of them held on to each other still, helping each other as they made their way back towards where they had been stashing all of their things. Their little hide out. To pack. To get ready.

They didn't speak. Not a word between them, Chara in a haze as they carried their things towards the river. To their usual spot to wait. To hide and to wait.... But they would only wait two days. Two.

Chara suspected The River Person would be around. He didn't seem to be on one of his Let's Disappear For Weeks or Months disappearances. She'd just seen him the other day.

And for the first time in her life, the very first time, she desperately hoped to see him. But night was falling again....... And her and Frisk were huddled together. Still not talking. Just holding on to each other... Chara still very much shaken and hurt and wanting to cry still. Wanting to flee. Lost... But Frisk just held her close. Even as she herself could not truly sleep. Not rest.......

But there was a snapping sound. A lot like the one from the night before. And her hazey mind snapped to life in response. Her eyes widening, her heart racing, her breathing picking up. And Frisk slept.....

But Chara knew. Knew that it was there.

She slid out of Frisk's arms, setting him down as best she could without waking him. But she was shaking. Shaking as she pulled out the dagger and began to stand. Making her way towards the sound.

And there the little monster was. Sitting there. Waiting for her. Its eyes glaring.

Chara swallowed, holding out the dagger..... Breathing in as evenly as she could.

"You have... just a moment... to leave." She told it. "Just a moment to turn around and leave.... Leave me alone. Us alone...." The monster only glared. "Leave me alone...." She said again, her voice still shaking.

"Why?" The monster asked, a tilt of its head.

She did not respond. Only keeping the dagger out in front of her.

But the monster's voice was even and sure and not at all stupid.

It had been an act after all. Not stupid after all.....

Chara had been right.

"You were right." The monster seemed to echo. It smiled. "I followed you and hunted you down. You were absolutely right. And you know I've been watching you all day. Don't lie and say you didn't notice." She had... "So why even risk sparing me again? Why give me even a moment to flee?"

She... did not respond..

But neither of them attacked.

The monster... its smile was twisting downwards, a real frown forming on its face. A true scowl. Its glare piercing through her.

"Idiot, really think can just stand there and send me off with hollow threats. Saw you sobbing like a baby, can't trick me with a bluff-"

"If you dare get close to Frisk you'll see just how **much** of a **_bluff_** it is."

"........ That kid." The monster stated. "He's really an idiot, isn't he? Really meant what he did." But the monster's face... It was more than perplexed now. "I don't.... understand.." It admitted. "I mean, I understand he's an idiot. I don't understand how you... listened... You should have turned around and just cut straight through me. Not a doubt." And yet it had just laid there, hadn't it....? The monster lifted its head in anger though. "But you were right, I followed and did the exact thing you said you were tired of. You have to Fight me. You can't just let me run away." It growled.

Chara...

"I...." She lifted a hand against her chest, clawing slightly. "I don't feel good." She whispered.

"Oh, so know I would win this time." It said, relieved in its understanding.

"No.... No... The... The LOVE.... Now trying to think.... I don't feel good." She was still clawing at her chest, aimlessly. "He was right.... He's always right..."

"What? The idiot?"

Why was she talking to this thing?? But she couldn't... couldn't talk to Frisk about it.... But she had to talk.... Talk to someone.... Who just might understand... Or at least... Be confused along side her.

"He is an idiot... He was a fool, idiot and fool not the same thing." She said a bit hastily. "Fools don't know better. Idiots do. He's an idiot... He knows, I made sure of it but... but..."

The monster was raising a brow and Chara shook her head. She knew she wasn't making any sense. It didn't make sense....

"But... I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill it. That... spark. I would have never forgiven myself if I had... I let him stay an idiot. And I just...." Her finger nails were digging into her skin.

The darkness, the one from her nightmares. Clawing at her with its phantom hands against her skin. Tearing her to bits. The darkness was inside her. The LOVE. She'd let it inside her. She didn't feel good. She didn't- She couldn't get it out.

"I just...."

The monster still just sat there, expectant but at the same time skeptical. The hand clawing at her chest had risen, touching the opposite shoulder, giving herself a half hug even as she still, held the dagger, held the dagger, but she just oh so wanted.... Oh how she hated swinging that thing around but she could not let go.... But oh, oh how she wanted... Her eyes closed.

Closed with the enemy in front of her. Just for a moment.

"That world he lives in. His ideas..." Her eyes opened, red eyes staring at the monster in front of her, half begging him to understand. "He's the one good thing I've found in this stupid place... And I think... I'd rather live in the world he believes in."

"Well newsflash, you're stuck here. Not in some weird fantasy world some fool created."

"But if we live like that... at least when we can.. Maybe... Maybe we can still find another piece of it here." She whispered. "Can you understand that....?" Perhaps not... "But just, please... Just leave us alone. I'm sorry about the other day. Just... leave me, us, alone... Because-" She was lowering her other hand, raising the dagger higher again as she stood up tall. "Because you're right. We live here. In this place. And if you don't leave.." Her expression was darkening, her chin downward set. "I **will** kill you."

The monster glared... but finally, finally.... It stood up... And turned around.... And left. Leaving Chara still shaking.

And luckily, luckily, Chara was awake in the morning when The River Person made his round by.

* * *

 

She was asleep, sleeping through the pain, when the closet door was opened. She was curled up in that little ball she did, curled up on her side and asleep as Papyrus loomed over her again. For all the magic he had pumped into her, still she had bruises all across her bare skin, though the cuts were gone. Another bath.... It would probably do her some good. And some more food inside her.

"Human." Papyrus said sternly as he bent down, crouching. "Human."

She moaned, her head rolling, but not conscious enough...

Papyrus put a hand around her arm, knowing he should yank her upwards, yank her awake. Rough like he was supposed to.... But... He let go, instead, holding her shoulder and shaking lightly.

"Human." He said in the same tone. She jumped, her mind kick starting into alertness. She immediately breathed out sharply, trying to uncurl and get away. Papyrus let go of her and rested his wrist against one of his knees as he continued to crouch. The girl was sitting up, pulling her legs to her chest and hugging herself. In her darkness as he stayed out in the brightly lit hallway. She glared at him for a moment to adjust. Adjust to the light, to being awake.....

And the two of them just stayed like that for a moment. The silence tense but lingering.

But the confusion. Chara could not.... She could not keep it...

She looked down between them, into his shadow.

"You didn't tell." She said finally. "You didn't tell him that I.... I begged.."

".... I did not think you remembered." He said honestly. "Didn't think it fair to hold such a thing against you if you did not remember it." Chara's heart was racing, her eyes lifting in fear. Papyrus could see it. The fear she had made a mistake in asking, revealing, but it had not been the only thing. "But also..." Papyrus continued... He took a breath. The tension still very much there between them. "You spared my brother, so just this **_once_** , I'm sparing you."

Chara stared.... Her heart racing but at the same time.... staring..... Her lips slightly parted in surprise.

But then... She couldn't help it.. She put a hand against her face as she lowered her head, laughing weakly.

All of it just so.....

It hurt inside her chest, the uncertainty once again. Yet at the same time-

Don't kill...... and don't be killed....

But she could feel Papyrus' uneasiness and she bit her lip. To him, she looked absolutely deranged. Out of all the things he had expected, her laugh, not one of them. But his question.. His question of if she even understood what she had done. What any of this meant...

"Why?" Papyrus demanded. "Why did you not kill him?" Chara lowered her hand but still kept her eyes diverted away.

"I don't know... but I think...." She shook her head. "You won't believe me..." She murmured, staring at the ground.

"Try anyways." Chara glanced up at him. The longing in her chest- To know-

She didn't think... She didn't think he would use Frisk against her.

But....

"Would you... tell?" Chara asked.

"Depends." Papyrus answered honestly.

Then she couldn't risk it. No matter how badly it hurt. How much it killed her and she still thought he was most likely dead. She couldn't ask. Never. Not in a million years.

Because Sans would use it.

Sans would specifically go out of his way.......

So instead of answering Papyrus directly, she just looked down again, curled in on herself even more.....

"Just some random little stupid things..." She told him.

There was a small gap of silence-

"Fine." Papyrus told her finally. "Have it your way."

He lifted a hand and she flinched but he was only pointing at her.

"I kept you alive through my brother's wrath this time, despite you deserving every second of it, but no more. Whatever you thought you would get out of this. Whatever power or hold over us. Forget it. It isn't happening. We're even. Even." He said it sternly. To make it real. "It goes back to normal from now on."

Normal.......

She turned her face away from him, looking into the other corner now. Running out of places to look that were not at him.

All of this had been more than she been expecting to begin with....

Papyrus grabbed her arm and began to pull her up with him and began to lead her down the hall towards the kitchen.

"... Papyrus..?" The uncertain, scared sound of his name in her voice-

Papyrus turned around sharply, slapping her right across the opposite cheek his brother had the day before. Hard enough to make her dizzy, to almost lose her footing, forcing him to support her. Painfully. Painfully keeping her standing as he kept hold of her arm. The girl had her hand pressed to her cheek as she recovered herself.

Papyrus waited a moment, uncertain, before he began to pull her forward again. She was limp in his hold. Resigned....

And Papyrus did not look at her, did not speak to her. But his magic was racing. Slapping her had felt peculiar.

Papyrus is not like Sans. He does not appreciate the fight. Not like his brother-

He does not appreciate the fight...

And slapping her had felt peculiar. Desperate.

Papyrus forced the girl to sit at the table and he escaped into the kitchen, even though he knew he would have to come back... But he stalled, contemplating what to even feed her. All they really had anymore was bread and whatever was in the cupboards. He decided to just make her some more instant oatmeal. Quick and sure and filling.

When he came back, the girl had pulled her legs up onto the chair with her, wrapping her arms around them in that way that she did. Her chosen stance of protection. Making herself seem even smaller, trying to hide in plain sight as he set the food down on the table in front of her... But she only kept half of her face buried in her arms, staring out across the room. Her face was red... she was trying not to cry.

She did not make any sign of being willing to eat anymore.

And they stayed like that for a moment....

And Papyrus...

Papyrus had been prepared. Mentally prepared. For her manipulation.

No conversation, Undyne had said.

She'll only manipulate you.......

But how are you supposed to convince yourself it's manipulation when the one expected to be manipulating so easily falls into silence...

"I should not have hit you for that." Papyrus said lowly, looking at the cooling down bowl of oatmeal... He could tell though, the girl's red eyes were glancing over to him cautiously. It was not an apology, he would not apologize. "From now on, though, you will not say my name. I shall not say yours. And we will not speak. You to me or me to you. Unless I am telling you to do something. Things go back to normal and eventually, you will beg again, and then, Sans will kill you. You're Soul goes to Undyne."

Undyne....

Her arms tightened around herself and there was another tense moment of silence.

"Can I... ask something?"

Ah. There it is, the hook. Her attempt to manipulate.

And though it's childish of him, all Papyrus can think-

"You just did." He told her. The girl was silent... Not rising up to the quip at all. Papyrus sighed. "Just this once. You have one question."

But she doesn't ask it. She's silent again... Except she did reach forward to eat. And Papyrus sat back against the wall, ignoring her again.

Everything back to normal.

 


	41. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hnnnngh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A REWRITE: because I wrote it. And went.  
> No.  
> A very hard, No.  
> So I deleted the chapter.  
> And when you do that twice in a row that is when you need to stop and think things out and figure out Why.  
> I think I've figured it out now.  
> I was trying to force Papyrus NOT to do something until a specific event. I was holding onto a "darling" that needed killed.  
> It has been killed. Hopefully we got this covered now.

_The River Person..._

Frisk and Chara had all of their things, not much but everything they owned, gathered under their arms. It wasn't an unusual sight. Though usually they were more prepared than this. Moves more cautious and thought out. Things acquired before if they needed. Things left behind. This time there were only things left behind...

There was a lot that Chara wanted to leave behind.

And The River Person pulled up to the edge of the river where the two children stood. There was a tense moment of silence. Chara keeping her head down. But she knew he could tell that something was off. That he could see Frisk's solemn stance. She could only imagine the other child's expression.

"Howdy..." He greeted, as usual.... But he says nothing else. And Chara knows, there is still dust on her clothes... And she detects the exact moment The River Person sees it... A downward shift in his shoulders, his hooded head. "Would you like a ride on my boat today?"

"Yes-" Chara's voice cracks and she bit down. Lowering her head even farther.

"Yes, please." Frisk finishes for them.

And Chara still did not lift her face, only stepping cautiously onto the boat, Frisk behind her. And The River Person did not ask where to, it would be the usual. Just travel until she told him to stop. Before making Frisk and her travel just a bit further before settling down. So he would not know exactly where by the river they were.

But what is unusual is that he did not ask then what was new. What stories they could tell... And Frisk did not tell him. Only sat against Chara, resting his head on her shoulder again. And she tries to sleep, she tries..... But she is shaking. She cannot rest. Cannot calm down.

Wants more.

That is the scary part.

There.

Still wanting.

To grow.

Choking her from the inside.

She is so terrified of it....

The unsettled anger.

* * *

 

Sans cannot rest.

Even as he smiles and jokes, there is something inside his chest, kicked up from Chara's attack. Chara was right, there was a difference between calming down and winding down. He was calm. Calm and collected on his mission. Not the actual, job-mission, of just waiting around and scanning the horizon though he would not have complained if something would just finally happen. He'd do the opposite of complain. In fact it would save him from having to interact even more with the horse-faced asshole beside him, moving as if he was swimming through the air beside him.

"Alright, I'm in." Sans had told him and the monster had flexed, winked.

"Nice!" Aaron said. "I told you, you'd change your mind. Its company too good to pass up."

He was most definitely not going for the company.

"I'll settle just for some action." Sans told him. The other monster hummed, thinking.

"Feisty, huh??" That stupid fucking wink. "Well can't make any promises. But you definitely got better chances than you do out here. If you want to pick somebody up, you've got to reach."

Eeeeh..... Sans didn't know what to do with that statement, metaphor, thing.... But he got the gist. It was still more likely than staying here and waiting, and Sans agreed.  But for now... he waited. Waiting, just wanting to Do something. Destroy something-

But he's the one ending up being clobbered. The back of his scarf used against him as Alphys grabbed him before he could escape out the door.

He knew she was upset. Had known it all day. She was going to be upset.

She'd been upset leaving them, Sans hyped up on rage and healing magic and Papyrus lingering next to him, the two of them set on making the human pay. And she had left in disapproval. And it made sense and she was right. She had been entirely right. Sans had not been in the state to do what he had done but he still stood by the fact that it had been worth it and satisfying. But she was upset and he knew it. Caring about him and yet at the same time so fucking upset with him. And making him very aware and herself certain that he knew it.

Extra training. Ordered. Mandated. Her and him. Him and her.

It came from a place of care but...

Sans had paled at the thought.

Paled at the array being sent towards him on the training field.

"IS THAT ALL YA GOT, YOU LOSER?!" Alphys raged as she sent her attacks flying through the air.

shit. ShitShitShit!!!

Sans was teleporting as quick as possible through the array, rising up bones to block when he had to. She was relentless. Relentless. Merciless.

He supposed he deserved this. And he had wanted to be stronger... But he hadn't been thinking about himself getting the shit drained out of him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

"What?" She demanded. "You can spend your full time fucking a human all night after nearly dusting but ya can't handle a little heat?!"

Yes, Sans supposed he deserved this.

But at this rate he was going to be too exhausted by the time he went home to do anything-

He teleported again right out of the way of an explosion.

"Holy shit!" He breathed.

You'd think she would be a little more cautious considering she'd nearly lost him. But maybe that was the point. He had not been cautious. She would not be either. He got it. She was upset.

"Exhausted yet?" She demanded.

What he basically heard was if he conceded yet....

"Fine." Sans panted. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for worrying you." And he was. But also he would have done the same thing to the human regardless. But still, Sans reached to Spare.

Alphys seemed at least half satisfied with his answer and the attacks stopped.

Spared.

He fell backwards, panting...

"Shit, Alphys. Just shit...."

"If you can think that sick right after almost dying, you can train too." She told him sternly. He just gave her a thumbs up. Before it promptly fell to the ground again. Alphys sat down beside him... And there was a few moments of silence as they each caught their breath.

Usually training helped Sans feel better though, the thrill of the fight. But still, he noted, not enough anymore. Not what he wanted. Needed. He just wanted-

"S-So.... How badly did you trash her? The human?"

"Trashed." Sans told her. "But still alive, the fucking bitch......" There was silence and darkness as Sans stayed on his back, his eye sockets closed and resting. "Don't worry, you'll still get your go at her..."

"G-Good."

"I'm fine, Alphys. Get that worried tone outta your voice. Fine. I'm.. fine.. Fine... Just tired now, thanks."

Tired but frustrated. Unable to land but a single, feeble blow on Alphys. Unsatisfied. He had to get stronger. Stronger and stronger.

But soon he would have his chance at that. He'd be in the dumps looking for that promised action. He'd finally be able to do some real hunting versus sitting here waiting for something to literally explode in his face. Finally...

"Toriel, I hope Paps has something really good made up for us..." He managed sitting up as he said this. An honorable feat. "But hey, when is your next date with Undyne supposed to be?"

"Two days. Though we're swinging to lunch tomorrow too, if that counts. Why?" Sans chuckled.

"O-Oh.. Oh. I..."

"You two can just come on over..."

Sans turned towards Alphys when she didn't answer.

She was staring at the sky..... Seeming almost paralyzed.

"I.. I d-don't know. Undyne may be set in her plans." She tried.

"Come on, Alphys. She deserves it. I mean.... I mean that in every sense actually. Undyne deserves a break, you do too. And the human deserves what's coming to her."

"......No." She said. Sans raised a brow.

"What?"

"No." Alphys said sternly. "You need a break. To rest. You have not been taking it easy in the slightest and I refuse to enable you. You're lucky I let you come back this early."

Only because... she was afraid of leaving him home... with.... with Chara...

Sans grumbled, crossing his arms and looking up at the sky now too.

"Whatever." He mumbled.

He didn't need to rest. He couldn't rest. He just needed to get going and get stronger. He needs more. Deserves more. More stats, the advantage. To decimate his foes. More like Alphys. Just finally get stronger.

But then a horrifying idea was striking him.

"Oh... and.... And did you tell Undyne about.... what happened?"

"Sweet Toriel, no." Alphys said automatically. Sans sighed.

"Thank Toriel, then." He told her. "The LAST thing I need is her insufferable told ya so."

"But we did tell you so." Alphys admitted. Sans laughed weakly. "So that's my payment. You hold off on your sick wild party fantasies and I don't tell Undyne you almost dusted."

Win, win.

"Well I promised the human a party. Wouldn't want to disappoint."

Right. Disappoint. Right.

Disappoint.

"But for you I'll put it off. Though I can't promise to rest."

He could not, truly, rest.

"You better." Alphys threatened.

And as Sans walked away, groaning about how tired her was, she just silently hoped that he was just tired enough.. Just tired enough to leave Chara alone for a night. Just one night. He couldn't keep going on and on...

He had to wear himself out.

There wasn't much she could do in the situation. Nothing.... But she is thinking about it all the time though. The months she had spent ignoring it. Ignoring. Thinking it taken care of, nothing she could do.... But if she had just not ignored it. How she could have done different. How it had even gotten to being that way to being with. Chara shouldn't have been there. The prison. She'd slipped through the wrong crack- But Alphys should not have sent Papyrus to the prison to begin with. Should have diswayed. Should have.... Should have just... been honest. For once.

Just for once. To Papyrus.

But you can't about these things. Especially not in her position. Her place..... But Papyrus. She should have been honest with Papyrus. Cut this all off at the head. If anyone could have understood...

But you can't.

And now she really couldn't, the other day had proven that to her. Him so willing to allow Sans- She just couldn't talk to him anymore either.

Especially since he is right there between Undyne and Sans.

Undyne.... Sans....

It's funny how much you can love people and then they end up being the ones you have to lie to the most. Because you love them, and you do not want to lose them. You do not want them to see because they would not like it. Or agree.

But it was hard. So hard.....

Getting harder.

Not having a single person to actually talk to.

And she is thinking about this everyday, unable to ignore it as well anymore. Because she doesn't want it to be this way but it is just the way it is. This was normal life and too big to change and that was just the way it is.  
Even if she wishes that it wasn't...

* * *

 

Papyrus was in the living room, trying to read a book, but he could hear Ch- the human calling out in the other room. He wasn't sure what his brother was doing. How his brother could even handle doing it when he had come home on the brink of exhaustion and a bit roughed up (which had concerned him until he had heard it was Alphys, which made sense, she'd been really upset when she'd left). But he didn't know what his brother was doing to the human and he very, very did not care. He just focused on his crossword puzzle.

But it was too easy. Just busy, mindless work. And that makes it not enough of a distraction. And he had such a headache. Having used too much magic the last few days and how could Sans stand it. He put down the puzzle, getting up and making his way back towards his brother's room.

He didn't even knock before opening the door, not wanting to hesitate or acknowledge he wanted to hesitate.

He faltered though walking in.

His brother was just sitting back against the front of the bed, and Chara was tied up, her wrists and ankles forced close together. And the human was laying on her stomach between his brother's legs. She was crying though, because there was one of those things from Alphys' box inside of her. Relentless and not stopping as it moved inside her.

"Hey bro." Sans said lazily but there was a wicked look in the lights of his eyes. "Just making sure the pet here doesn't forget how things go."

Normal..

"How long has that...?" Papyrus began, but Sans just shrugged, still smiling.

"Don't know. How long we've been in here? Well, minus the ten minutes it took me to bind her. Put up a ruckus there, didn't ya pet? Surprised me. Seems like there is actually something left to get a reaction out of her. Don't like being tied down in your life, do ya?" Sans asked, holding the girl's chin as she grit her teeth, trying her hardest to stay together but already way beyond falling apart against Sans. Twisting, only giving Sans the pleasure of feeling her move. Of having the perfect view of her crying face. Her glaring, force-unfocused, then closed eyes.

And Papyrus knew that she also hated the blindfold.... To not be able to see what was happening. Though she did not like seeing it either.... Any of it.

But she did not like the blindfold. And even when she closed her eyes, at least that was something in her control. That tiny bit of control.

Papyrus should tell Sans..

"But tying her up, really wiped me out, though." Sans continued. Like Alphys had not already... "So.. We had to find something else fun for her to do." The girl gasped and Sans wiped at the corner of her mouth.

"She's adamant that it's still just pain though... As if she's forgotten what real pain is." Sans tsked and shook his head. But still smiling, enjoying this to its fullest. And the girl...

It was too much for her... and she was tired... tired but refusing to beg... but tired and very much needing to rest. And the wicked look in Sans' eyes, it was surrounded by exhaustion. The girl let out a shrill shriek as he grabbed into her hair with his other hand. Papyrus flinched at the sound.

"Well I was about to go to bed and I've only had a headache for the past two hours. So... if you could quite her down." Sans hummed, tilting her face, as she continued to pant..

"Ah come on, she can't be that loud. But alright... Okay. I guess" But he only let go of her chin to reach down and unzip the front of his pants.

And Papyrus stood there, that had not been what he had meant. And it only made Ch- the human close her eyes again, and shake with another sob and forced pleasure.. A soft, pulsed plea from her Soul-

And Papyrus couldn't move as his brother grasped at her hair and kept his cock up against her mouth. The girl pressed and terrified but things were going back to normal... She deserved this.

But he couldn't help but have his mind jump back to the first night.. When Papyrus had held her like that himself, forcing her to open her mouth- And he had thought.. How could something so full of hate.... be filled with so much fear?

Humans were creatures of self-preservation and hatred. Nothing else. These emotions came from her lack of control. Her inability to ensure her own preservation. Nothing more... These were the complex feelings Papyrus could not fully understand, could hardly imagine.

Though he hadn't been able to feel it then in that moment, the hatred. Even as he had forced her to open her mouth. Only despair-

And his brother, now, in the present... Staring at the human.

Hatred, pure, in the lights of his eyes as he forced the girl to open her mouth and keep it open,. Enjoying every single panicked sound coming from the exhausted human.

Hatred from his brother....

Despair from her.

Humans creatures of hatred and self preservation.

This is what she deserved though, she deserved all the hatred... She had tried to kill his brother. She'd almost killed his brother. She was guilty and she even knew it. He had felt it, that knowing guilt. She deserved this and she had that one bit of ingenuine mercy and now everything was back to normal.

But she was exhausted. And his brother was exhausted... And Papyrus' skull was pounding.

"Sans stop." Papyrus said bitterly, stepping forward. "You need to stop and go to bed." Chara screamed- the human screamed, as she was pulled away from Sans. Papyrus did not pay attention to her, held down by his hands against the bed, "You've got to work in the morning and I can feel how drained you are. Go to bed." Sans huffed.

"Fine."

Sans yawned.

"Oh shit, I guess I am that tired... Will you put it away for me?"

Put it away....

Papyrus turned his attention back to the struggling girl. He cut the binds at her ankles and she struggled all the more. Wanting to be free. It out of her, get it out of her-

"Leave her hands tied though." Sans told him. "Don't want her touching herself now."

Papyrus highly doubted that happening but he obeyed.

Papyrus switched off the disgusting device. Literally disgusting. Disgusting and wet from her. And she couldn't help but jerk her body as the sensation cut off. And he pulled it out of her, leaving her empty. Leaving her body wanting but her mind relieved- As she continued to cry, and buried her face in the mattress beneath her.

"Fun wasn't it, pet?" Sans yawned again.

"Bed." Papyrus ordered sternly. Sans just chuckled and settled back against his pillow.

"Yeah, yeah, mom, I heard ya."

Papyrus paused at that, it wasn't an uncommon thing but somehow, it is just There, more. Right now. Thinking about Sans' 1 HP-

But he doesn't have 1 HP anymore.

And this made him return his attention back to the girl, beginning to pick her up in his arms.

He could turn her blue, should turn her blue... But his head is pounding. The magic.

"Goodnight, brother."

"Night, Paps." Warm affection in his tone and it made Papyrus feel slightly better.

And Papyrus picked up the human, her still incredibly breathless in his arms as he carried her.

Normal. He had told her that. It went back to normal. And this was normal.  
Everything back to normal: HPs. How things went in all of this. Normal.

The confusion didn't matter.... The only thing that mattered was his brother enjoying himself. Even if Papyrus thought he was pushing a little too hard. This just wasn't Papyrus' thing...

But he thought it, as he put the girl down. And he thought it as he got her a second blanket and asked himself why... And he thought it: They needed to kill her. Before something else happened or Papyrus found himself tricked, though he didn't want to admit that he could be after telling Undyne so sternly that he wouldn't be. They needed to kill her. Before there were any regretted I Told You Sos. Before something happened and Papyrus left them and himself disappointed. They needed to kill her. They needed to kill her, yesterday. Perhaps literally yesterday. Or the day before that. They should have killed her. Should kill her.

But he ignored the thought, told himself it was fine. And shut the closet door, daring not to heal her in the slightest. To feel the bleeding in his magic. And in the morning he and his brother went to work and everything was just back to normal.

But it wasn't normal and they really needed to kill her


	42. Good Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't Give Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're all depressing still  
> Shit.  
> ):  
> Let's give it a few more chapters, hopefully. I don't know anymore. why.

_The River Person....._

He had done something Chara had never seen him do before... He'd sat down. He had let the boat drift aimlessly along the water, in the middle of the river, and had sat down. The large, shadowed cloaked form, sitting down at the front of the boat, his legs crossed, knees touching each side of the boat. Both Chara and Frisk kept their attention drawn to him, Frisk in curiosity, Chara in suspicion. Unable to rest.....

And his shadowy, magically hidden hand, a flame started from nothing. In an instant. In an instant, fire.

"Woah..." Frisk breathed despite himself. Even Chara felt a spark of awe but at the same time, apprehension. Fear. Dust still on her clothes and her heart starting to race. Her arm tighter around Frisk, keeping him in place, close. Her heart racing-

Magically fire, there just at his fingertips in even less than a snap of his fingers.

But the shadowy monster in front of her pulled out a small tray from seemingly out of nowhere and set it down... Setting the fire inside of it.

A little, magic campfire in the center of the boat. Fire surrounded by water. Fire, warm and not too uncomfortably hot. Just warm. Warm and seeking to comfort. And Frisk was too intrigued for his own good.

"Fire magic." The River Person simply explain, still pulling things out of nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. Truly out of nowhere. Something to go over the fire, a pot- And Chara watched, realizing he truly was about to make them tea just like he had said....

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Frisk asked, genuinely hopeful. "I still can't make fires good, its just too hard and Chara always has to do it a lot."

"I know nothing of human magic." The River Person admitted.

"Oh... Right.." Frisk was leaning in, away from Chara- And Chara's heart was racing, she was losing her breath, as Frisk got in close.

"Careful-" She managed.

"It is alright." The River Person told her. "It does not burn like normal fire if I do not wish. You could put your hand right into it right now and it would not hurt. See?" And he just had his hand in the flames... Just idling in the flames... And Frisk.. Frisk's eyes widened and he reached out too, despite Chara's racing heart. And put his own little fingers in it.

"Oh wow! It just tickles!" The River Person chuckled lowly but Chara...

Chara just kept staring. Staring at the flames. Feeling cold. As Frisk just... just put his fingers in it. Just put his fingers straight into the fire, trusting without a moment's hesitation. Frisk just putting his hands in the fire. And having a normal conversation. The both of them. The both of them doing their best to just have a normal conversation.

To help her, she realized. Just to help her. But she felt cold. She was shaking... And everything was blurring..

"Chara-" Frisk turned around back towards her, smiling for her, but the smile fell... Seeing that she was crying again. His stupid hand still in the stupid fire. Stupid, harmless fire and she had been the one to hurt-

And she was just coming apart again, lowering her head and closing her eyes as she began to sob.

"Oh, Chara..." The River Person's voice rumbled... And Frisk's arms were around her again, holding her tightly. And she just sobbed, a hand over her eyes as Frisk hugged her... The River Person was silent, but she could hear him continue to make them tea....

"Shhhh." Frisk tried soothing into her ear. "Shh, it's okay, Chara.. Don't cry anymore, remember you say, big kids don't cry-" And yet he sounded on the verge of it as well. Chara did her best, her best to stop crying, her best to regain herself and hold it in- She was worrying Frisk again, "You're always telling me-"

"No. It is alright, Frisk." The River Person's voice came, soft comforting thunder... "She's been hurt, it is alright to cry."

Chara felt Frisk's arms shift slightly in surprise but then slack in relief... Chara knew it was relief... Relief that he didn't have to stop her because she knew that he had not believed the words he had been saying. Always telling her it _should_ be alright to cry. Nearly those very same words as what The River Person had said.

And it only made Chara break down even more. Covering her face with both hands as she leaned forward, just sobbing and unable to stop. Surrounded by cool relaxing water, the warmth of the crackling fire. Frisk's arms around her and a comforting, large hand on her arm, rubbing to help her. And she just cried....

"Here..." The River Person said eventually. And Chara lifted her face, trying her best... And The River Person let go of her arm and was holding out two cups of steaming, hot tea. Frisk took his, and Chara barely managed to take hers and not spill it. Though she could not drink it... Not like this... But the cup was warm against her fingers, helping just slightly. The steam... The smell...

"Just think of the good things for now." The River Person told her. "The things to help you feel warm. It simply spirals out of your control if you do not...."

"It's really good, Chara... Try some." Frisk encouraged. Chara obeyed, talking a sip. And then another, starting to clam down as she kept going. But still she felt so heavy. There was so much she wanted to say... For the first time she had so much to say to The River Person.. But she couldn't with Frisk there. Frisk would simply encourage, believe... Not bad things but sometimes.... Sometimes... too much... And she just... She can't **_do_** it like Frisk can.. She is just not Frisk...

Chara's expression was miserable and broken as she stared at The River Person's shadowy, hidden face.... Knowing he could sense it... But he only took her empty cup, even though she hadn't realized she had finished.

"Would you like some more?" She only shook her head. Though she couldn't be certain it was not a lie. She just... She just didn't know. She just...

"You look exhausted, Chara.. You can rest here, it is alright. I will not pick up anyone else.."

But she could not rest-

"Go ahead and rest." The River Person said again.

"I won't wake up.." She can feel it in her chest. It'll suck her in. She'll slip beneath. Gone. "I can't rest. I won't wake up.. I'll Fall Down."

"You will wake up." He says this, almost sadly. His mind somewhere else.. "You are dealing with LOVE, Chara, it is not exactly the same as that. You **must** rest. And even if you were to Fall Down, Chara, you are human.. It is going to be hard, but even if you were to Fall Down because of this, you will not Fall Down for long. You are still here. Frisk is still here. You will move forward."

But Chara notes he did not say, everything will be alright. Just like you could not use the words 'safe', he could not tell her that it would truly be alright. But she knew... She knew... this was the closest to safe she could get right now. On a boat. With a monster in a shadowy cloak that hid his true form and she _knew_ that. A shadowy hidden figure, his very form a lie. And yet. And yet, this was the closest she could get to safe.

"Rest....." The River Person encouraged, handing a blanket towards her, a blanket out of nowhere. Another sob worked its way through her but she took the blanket, hugging it close and beginning to reluctantly, lay down. So tired... So, so tired... So tired and Frisk was next to her, sitting between her and the fire, holding onto her hand, playing with her fingers as she reluctantly, reluctantly did her best to close her eyes, to close her eyes for real, for the first time in days. But she could not sleep just yet. But even so.... Finally, finally her muscles were starting to relax. Finally she was starting to at least edge closer.

On the gentle water, the warmth of magic, her brother close, and one of the very, very few people she could bring herself to reluctantly trust. Though it really was reluctant in every sense. But Frisk was there. Frisk.... And she was no longer cold like she had been. The tea.... The fire..... The calming soft, deep tune of The River Person humming.... Until it seemed to fade, stretch into silence....

And the silence stretched on. And she could not tell if she was asleep or awake in some moments. Until, the silence was broken, by Frisk's gentle voice. A whisper not to disturb her.

"What did you mean... when you two said.. Fall Down?" And Chara thought- Of The River Person... Knowing. Remembering a certain sadness she has felt from him before. She can feel it now... Even without seeing him, though she supposes she can never truly see him.... A certain sadness, though, there. In the air....

"When a Monster gives up..." The River Person began, his voice so low. Low rumbles, sad but kind... "When a Monster gives up... the Fall Down, as we say. We are not like humans, you see. We are made of magic. Intent. Our wills. If a Monster does not will to keep going... Then... Well it depends. Some still walk around, stare, but do not see. Don't hear. They are not themselves." Chara could feel Frisk's grip on her fingers tighten the slightest bit. "You have to coax them back out of themselves but it is hard... Sometimes impossible. And then they can perhaps truly Fall... Because others Fall completely. Asleep. Never waking. Most eventually dust... But some simply stay that way. Asleep and in too much pain to wake up."

"But... you can? Wake up? If you find something else to live for? If you just... don't give up?"

"..... That simply depends... On how far you've fallen. On how aware you can be. Sometimes.. it is simply too hard.. And if you have Fallen Down once, it is not so hard to do it again... Even when you are doing your best. When there is something you know you should be fighting for. You simply... cannot get back up...."

"......... Have you.. Fallen Down?" Chara held her breath at this. She'd thought it but would have never asked it. But she is simply not Frisk. And The River Person, she can feel him staring at Frisk.. in that shadowy way he does... Silent.

Yes, Chara knows. The answer is yes. In some way, yes. And Frisk seems to get this too, though neither ask for details. But Chara remembers.... He owes something. The River Person owes something. Guilt.... He has told her that, hasn't he? And she wonders, briefly.... If this has something to do with how he can simply... vanish. Vanish for months at a time...

"What do I do?" Frisk asks instead, worry still there, but at the heart of it, determination. Determination as he squeezes Chara's tighter.

"You are already doing it, Frisk." The River Person told him. "I do not have LOVE, but from what I have seen, it is not so different from Falling Down in some regards. You begin to lose yourself, but instead of falling asleep, you cannot settle back down. You must help her settle back down... To help her not give up..."

And the hooded, hidden face was looking directly at her and Chara could feel it. Feel it.... She wanted to cry... She did not know why though.. A lump in her throat...

In hindsight, a few days later, she would realize it was because he truly cared about what was happening to her.... And she cared about what was happening to him..

"Chara..." Frisk's voice whispered, coming closer..... They had noticed her distress, it seemed... Frisk's fingers were in her hair, comforting as he still held her other hand close. "Don't worry, Chara. I believe in you."

Don't give up...

* * *

**Stay determined.**

* * *

The closet door was opening, and Chara was in her little, protective ball. The cat had been there all day, meowing at her through the door, mocking.... Until someone had come home...

And her heart was racing... She couldn't remember the last time it wasn't. The last time she had slept well, the last time she wasn't in pain or hungry and just absolutely terrified... And she doesn't know... She doesn't know how to regain that determination....

She knows... If she was a monster... She would be Fallen Down. Fallen Down... waiting... Waiting.... Wanting.... But at the same time, still awake. Walking around aimless...

She doesn't want to be.

But she doesn't know what she's doing. No plans. Running on empty.

Not sure why she is alive except for Mercy she could not explain. From herself. From Papyrus... Lost and uncertain and there is no one left there, that she cared about, to tell her: don't give up.....

Stay determined....

Stay...

Those words given to her by that conflicting King.... And repeated again, mockingly ever since, but how she has struggled to keep them in her Soul because it had been the only thing given to her in any form of genuine and _understanding_ tone in so long...

 _Seeing_ her....

Even as she had looked at him so hatefully, scared and hatefully, and wishing he would just drop dead. Just dust and do the world a favor. And yet...

But she can't.....

She can't...

She doesn't know how by herself.

She's never been the one... It's always been Frisk.

She's always been the one worried or afraid and tired and it always takes everything inside her to just keep going.. Holding onto Frisk.... Then Temmie... and now...

_"Just think of the good things for now."_

But now all the good things... they are what is killing her.

And she can't stay-

But the closet door was open and Papyrus was there and she didn't know what to do anymore.

He can't see her.

He's not going to.

He can't.

Especially since he does not want to.

And there is nothing she can do to counter that.

He's best friends with a 'Migosp'.

Undyne...

Maybe his brother, too...

And he does not want to see her.

Nobody is going to see her. She's going to die here and nobody is going to care......

Because she doesn't know how to get out of here or even if... even if she should...

And she's just cold.... And there is nothing she can do...

And all the good, little things that once kept her warm, hurt.

And she's just.. out of ideas.

And everything is back to his so called 'normal' as he led her to the bathroom for a shower. Turning on the water as Chara stood with her arms crossed and her head down, the hair around her face.... The steam filling the room.

She flinches when the water washes over her back, but still.....

Water has always been cold. Cold or cool unless you start a fire under it. Unless the sun is hot.

She didn't stay in the hospital long.... The water in the prison, frigged. So cold that it burned....

Chara glanced up at Papyrus, standing there in front of her as the water runs over her. And he is ignoring her. Doing his best to ignore her. Not talking. No conversation... Just the two of them getting clean though she doesn't know why he didn't just shower that morning like usual if he was so desperate to avoid her....

But.....

"My question..." Chara's heart is racing, it's stupid. So stupid. It's stupid. She knows half the answer will be magic, its magic. But at the same time....

And Papyrus stared at her... Smirking a bit at how she had worded it. Making sure not to open herself up to mocking by asking yet another question about her question. And yet still getting point across.

"Yes?" He allowed. He had given her one question after all. But he is putting his mental guard up. Ready for it. For her to do her best to get under his 'skin'.

Her potential questions about Why, her potential questions........ That he was guarding his own mind against and Not willing to look over. Offering himself all the correct answers. Obvious, correct answers.

Because she's human. Toy, pet, only human, who can't love, can't show _Mercy_.

Not _true_ Mercy. That did not simply benefit herself.

Her hatred and self preservation. Manipulation.

Why.

That is why.

She deserves it.

Human and Monsters.

Why.

And Papyrus is prepared for anything. Or so he thinks.

Because the girl is looking down at her fingers, letting the water fall against it and run down.

And it's stupid, she knows, she knows it is stupid. But...

"Where does...."

Papyrus is already filling in a million different questions for her in that one little pause. But all of them are wrong.

"Where does the hot water come from?" Chara asked, risking a small glance upwards.

And Papyrus.....

"Wh... What?" He let out a small, disbelieving laugh. His brow furrowed and he shook his head.

Her fingers curled into a tight fist, looking down again, her shoulders tense.

And Papyrus...

He could not understand.

And it is so unexpected.

"What do you mean?" He doesn't even realize he is getting angry until he says it and hears it in his own voice. "You have one question. One. And you ask..?"

What?

"What are you trying to play at?" Papyrus demanded. He grabbed her shoulders and Chara gasped, keeping her footing, but her heart racing. And Chara does not understand.. why he's angry at her.

"What do you mean?" She demanded back. "I just want to know-"

"Know what? What is your real question in that?"

She didn't....

"I just want to know-" There was anger rising in her chest now too as she suddenly glared through the water. "I chose the most harmless question I could think of!"

This isn't fair.

"Why would you ask that?" Papyrus demanded again. "That's foolish. It gets you nothing!"

 _Nothing_...

Nothing.

"What did you want me to ask?" She demanded. "Why? Why? Is that what you wanted me to ask? Or maybe, something else like that? Well I know all your answers to that! Your why and stupid explanations. The ones that Undyne gave you, and Sans, and the ones you tell yourself to keep me the enemy. Like every other Monster. I know those answers. I don't need them!"

She had nothing.

No ideas or plans. No hope. Nothing. What did HE know about nothing?!

"I just want one thing to make sense! One STUPID thing, maybe good thing!!" She yelled, a hand close to her chest. His grip on her- But she was just SO tired and angry- So tired- "I just want one thing to make sense!" She repeated again. "One good thing- The two of you have ruined everything. No, not just the two of you, but everyone. Everyone has ruined everything. Everything that should have been new and interesting and good and ruined it! Even this, the water... You. Forcing me to be here with you. And your brother! When he.... he..." She staggered for breath for a moment but glared again, glaring even through the water. "I just wanted one thing! Just one! Is that really just too much to ask from all of you?"

".... The water comes from underground pipes-"

"That is NOT what I asked!"

Chara flinched as he rose a hand quickly but she refused to back down this time. To cower.

She glared, tears in her eyes though hidden by the falling water. But he does not strike her though he keeps his hand raised threatening.

But she is just so..... angry.

"I had... a question..." She says as evenly as possible. Her heart racing- Racing- "Where does the **hot** water **_come_** from?"

"That's none of your business." Papyrus told her, anger still in his voice. But in truth... he still did not entire understand the question.... He understood it, in theory. The words, but he did not _understand_....

It was one more thing to not _understand_...

"What is wrong with you?!" Chara demanded. "What is wrong with ALL of you?!"

Ah, so this was the manipulation. A simple question to turn around and use against him...

But.... He can't fully convince himself of that even though he does not acknowledge it fully. Because if he had just answered the stupid thing, he wouldn't have her yelling at him-

But he can't think that. Because to think the fault was with him was playing into her hands, but at the same time _if he had just answered_ -

And he can feel the pulse of pain from her Soul, not just the hatred and anger.... And she fights him the whole way as he drags her back to the closet, refusing to feed her and he does not know why he is so angry.... And neither does she... And he just threw her soaking wet into the closet, without a single care...

And Chara's heart was racing but anger racing through her. Stupid, stupid, it was a stupid question and he could have just answered it! She's expected him to laugh, something like that maybe, but she had risked it and she had not expected him to react like this. She did not understand and he was an ass! The worst one-! The worst...

Everyone else were the ones to tell her, don't give up. Don't give up.

Singing to her. Teasing her. Trying to get her to sing along and she just couldn't. She was the one who was tired and angry and worried and cautious.... And it just rises up in her if she feeds it.

"I hate you!" She called, hitting the door. And Papyrus stood at the end of the hall, tense and angry. But Chara... It feels sick inside her. She hates him. But she hates that she hates him. And Sans. She hates that they made her hate them. When she just wants to be left alone-

She knows all their stupid fucking reasons for doing this.

Humans and Monsters.

**Humans and Monsters.**

Like that game the children play. The teenagers come into the Ruins to play it 'for real'...

She knows all their reasonings.... But she knows every single one of them is bullshit...

And she is just so... . tired.

Tired of the anger...

Tired of hating.

The fighting...

She's just so tired..

She closed her eyes though she was already surrounded by darkness. Her head tilting back, her hair, the water running down her back as she tried not to cry....

But she is just so tired.

Fighting...

It gets her nowhere. Each time... She can't do it anymore. She's out of ideas....

And she thinks Frisk is dead..

But he's an idiot, he's such an idiot.

Chara.....

_"Don't worry, Chara. I believe in you."_

Chara..... Chara should be dead too. She should be dead. If he was alive.. If he was out there. He would have every single reason to believe she was dead. Every single one. But he would still choose.... That idiot. He would still hold on. He'd still chose to believe she was out there. He's an idiot. An idiot.

But there was the smallest laugh in the back of her throat.

Because he was right... He was right... She was alive. She was still alive and she should be dead. Absolutely dead.... But she isn't. Not yet. Trapped. Stuck. But alive....

And she knows.... She knows he is an idiot. And if he's alive.... He's waiting. He's waiting for her to come back. Believing that she will come back.. She's the one who comes back.

She can't believe by herself. It's just too hard. She needs him to tell her, don't give up. She needs other people to tell her to stay determined. To help her Dream..

Hope... Dream....

_"I don't think that's true..."_

Temmie....

"Dreamer..." Chara whispered to herself. Dreamer....

Chara.

Frisk.

Temmie...

Papyrus would not give it to her. That one good thing. But she knew better than to depend on other people's Mercy. That was who she was. She knew better. Worried, cautious, only relying on all the things inside of her...

And all those little things hurt. They hurt. Hurt so much....

But they were hers.

And she knows... She should not be alive still but she is. Somehow she is.... And it is hard, so hard.... But she knows that idiot. Knows that idiot so well...

And she knows that if he is out there-- She knows, that he is out there, he has to be out there-

Please-

But she knows he is out there. And if he is... That idiot, that idiot is believing in her and singing that stupid little song- And he saw his 'Z' playing, Napstablook, Naps, playing his little songs, and she's an idiot, she's an idiot. Chara was an idiot. Frisk.... Frisk would have taken that, one good thing. A visit from a friend, and she's an idiot. She's an idiot, she got so angry because that was what she does. Who she is.

All of them. Singing to her. Teasing her... Frisk, Naps, even Temmie because he knew....

Don't Give Up.

Hopes.... and Dreams....

She just has to hold on... those good, little things... Though they hurt. Though they are the things that are killing her. But they are also all she has. All... Everything....

Chara's heart was racing.... But the song was in her chest though she never sang along. She hated the sound of her own voice. She just wanted to listen to the others. Comfort in just listening to the others.... But that did not mean it was not still inside her... She just... She just had to....

Her fists were clenched but this time not in anger but in a desperate attempt...

Don't Give Up...

It's hard. It's impossible.... Frisk is probably dead. And then there was Temmie and what had happened and- But she just..

"Sing a little song..." Her voice cracked and she shook her head. She can't do it out loud. Her uncertain voice, her inability to come up with lyrics just off the top of her head.

And trying so hard, she realizes she has sang it before... Unconsciously, her little chant. Dreamer... In this little tune... This whole time in her Soul...

She took a deep breath, falling back, trying again. Just try again...

"You'll never take... the heart.. inside of me. Everything I am... Hopes and dreams..."

Gentle whispers.

"-In my heart.. and through the trees."

Sing a little song. Now.

She's gritting her teeth, thinking, the tune along, coming up with more random-

But the closet door was opening and Chara jumped, her heart racing, racing, as it was forced open, and Papyrus, his face serious.

And Chara can see him.

She's seen him before.

The one who should have been kind.

The one who **could** have been like Frisk.

Someone who killed the spark- Turning into a demon instead-

Someone who just cannot afford to see her-

Because if he did-

He'd be able to see himself.

And Papyrus was reaching in and grabbing her. Yanking her forward- And her heart raced- The rug being pulled out from beneath her. And she just did not know what to do... How to stay determined. How to get through.

She's not Frisk. She isn't Frisk-

And Papyrus is pulling her forward, towards his bedroom.

"Wait-" Chara dug her feet into the ground, only hurting herself in the process as she nearly fell forward. "Wait, no, wait!"

Her heart racing-

She can't beg though... Even though all she wants, really wants, is for someone to just see her...

* * *

 

 _The River Person_ pulled the boat to the side with Chara's instruction.... And he helped them pick up all of their belongings. Helped them off the boat though she could feel that he did not wish for them to go... But they had to.. The sun would be going down soon... He would return to his precious city... They had to set up camp...

But he bent down, to Chara's eye level as best he could..

"I would like to check up on you.." He admitted. Chara looked down at her feet... "If that is alright...."

She never let Frisk greet him, running along the river to wave... She never let The River Person know where they were staying.... But...

"I don't know where we'll be.. but.... If I see you..." She mumbled... He only stood up, nodding. And she was walking away, with Frisk... Frisk who was waving at the hooded, hidden figure... Who waved back... And you couldn't see him, physically you could not see him. But Chara could _see_ him. Someone who actually cared though she could not understand why.

* * *

 

"Papyrus! Wait!" But she is just being thrown onto the bed, the collar surging with magical energy, causing her to cry out as he held her down, face down, by the wrists.

She doesn't know- She just doesn't know- How...

* * *

 

**Stay determined.**

* * *

 

She just did not know how. She doesn't- She can't-

She's not Frisk.

She's not the Dreamer here, Temmie was wrong. Wrong..

And all the good, little, random small things hurt.

Hopes and Dreams...

She just.. doesn't... know... _how_... anymore.

He just won't see her... He won't... He can't...

He can't.

And Chara can't see what it is she is supposed to do...

She can't fight.

She can't act.

She has _nothing_.

She can't even beg....

Nothing.

Nothing....

Nothing but her memories-

Nothing but-

And Chara was reaching- Reaching with all of her Soul- Reaching with all of her feeble intent-


	43. Pretending Not To Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus does not appreciate the Fight....  
> But there is more than one type of Fight.  
> Though..........  
> He may not appreciate this one either.  
> But it all she has.

_The new girl, Undyne, was not making any real friends with her continued glare and ambivalent..._ silence.

All except the one little boy she kept around, or perhaps more rightly, let hover near her. That annoying skeleton.

"Which annoying skeleton?"

"The weird one."

"Which weird one?"

"Not the Free EXP-"

"They're both kinda free EXP if you think about it."

"That is also fair. But you know what I mean."

"The idiot."

"Yeah."

The idiot.

"And **who** are you calling an **idiot**?"

"Shit!"

"SHIT!"

Because the only idiots Undyne saw were the two idiots daring to talk about her and her new friend when she was still listening.

"That's rude." She said, calmly. Dangerously-

The world went black around them as the other two jumped back defensively, feeling her intent.

"A bullet board?" Undyne asked unimpressed, magic swirling around her as she pushed the three of them out of it, the yellow faded buttons vanishing and the world returned- "What are you? Some baby toddler? Or maybe a pair of grouchy old men?"

Their Souls went green.

"Besides...." She smiled. "In a real Fight, there are no turns. And no foolish little buttons to hide behind."

She'd learned that the hard way.....

And two hours later.....

She was in Papyrus and Sans' room, heading over to their cot. Satisfied even if bruised and with extra chores for a month.

"Undyne!" Papyrus called, jumping up. She put a finger to her lips. "Undyne." Papyrus whispered for effect.

Technically she was not supposed to be in here.

But technically....

"Heard ya got into a fight, Undies." Sans taunted, hands behind the back of his head. It'd only been a few months but

She wasn't supposed to get into those either.

"If you'd been there Sans you would have joined me in an instant."

"Well good thing I wasn't, I don't have to split bathrooms with ya." She only hummed and sat down at the edge of the bed.

"But you're bruised still?" Undyne shrugged. Though that only caused her to wince a bit and she couldn't hide it. "Here!" Papyrus bounced closer against the bed, reaching out a green, healing hand. And she let him, curious... As his healing magic washed over her.

And Papyrus smiled, happy to be of help. To be able to really show her what he could do with it. She'd only ever seen him heal Sans. But feeling it.....

Undyne didn't smile though, it only made her scowl. And Papyrus could feel..... a tremor from the older girl... Real pain in his fingertips from her Soul. Papyrus pulled back, uncertain, but quickly corrected his mistake, pretending it was not there. That he had not felt the echo of grief inside her because he knew she did not want him to. That if she did, she would tell him in time...

But...

"They were calling you free EXP." She admitted. Sans was snarling.

"Who was saying what about me?"

But Undyne stared at him. Directly into his face. Her eyes telling.

Not you, her eyes said. Not you.

Well, at least, not just him.

And it made her uneasy. So uneasy.... Feeling like she could not fully push it away. Deny it.

If Papyrus had been there, with her, that day, he would have been dead too. Dead. Dust. Just like everybody else except her.

Probably ripped into little smiling shreds.

Not an idiot, like they said. Just too willing to trust. Even when Sans, Undyne could see, did his best to counter it. Not an idiot, just too trusting. Blind at times. Too willing to see the best in people even when it wasn't there. He just did not know how it could be.

But she did. And somehow, she got from Sans, that he did too. Though she did not know why yet.

One day she would. Sans would tell her. The one thing he never told Papyrus.

About remembering how it felt to dust.

But Papyrus did not.

And he was just so naturally trusting.. Though not an idiot, no. And not at all weak..

But in a way.. Yes.....

Yes. He was free EXP. In just the right line of circumstances, he was just free EXP.

And Sans and Undyne sat there on that cot, Papyrus between them, staring at each other directly.. Both understanding this. Both hating it. Both resolved to fix it. To keep him safe...

They did not trust each other. Not really. Not yet. It would be awhile. But this was the first step. This first Fight of Undyne's in the group home in Papyrus' name.

And Papyrus chatted on, trying to cheer up the tone. And Undyne and Sans looked away from each other, though a silent agreement made. An alliance even if they could not trust each other in a lot of other things.

Ready to Fight together in this one thing. Just one.

Ready to Fight....

And Papyrus chatted on. Pretending not to notice. Pretending not to be the slightest be apprehensive.

Pretending so not to worry them even more...

* * *

 

Papyrus did not appreciate the Fight.

But he was not the weak one. He was not the one who too easily trusted. Not anymore. He wasn't an idiot. He knew. He knew..... He was not the weak one, the one to put the others in danger because of it. He was not the one who would simply be ripped into little, smiling shreds.

He wasn't. Wasn't. He wasn't that little boy anymore who made Sans Fight too often and too ferociously. He was not the little boy who Undyne had to keep in tow, teaching, instructing. He wasn't that little boy anymore.

He did not appreciate the Fight but that did not mean he would not. That did not mean he could not.. Did not mean he would stand there and be manipulated like an idiot.

He wasn't that little boy anymore.

Not that annoying little skeleton.

The weird one.

Not the smiling, Free EXP.

Not the idiot.

He wasn't.

He wouldn't be.

He was not being tricked by some human with no power.

He wasn't....

But she was in his head and he knew it. He could not ignore her. It was not normal anymore. It had not gone back to normal. And he was so angry. So confused. So torn to shreds inside.

Standing there at the end of the hall.... So angry, having thrown the human into the closet.

Just so angry.

He was not a danger to his brother. He was not a danger to Undyne. To those he cared about. He did not trust too easily.

He did not trust.

Did not.

He was not an idiot and the gull she had-

And there was a soft little song in the air, chant like spell... And it just made him even angrier though he did not realize it. Realize that it was even there.

And he was just so angry...

Angry at this human.

Playing with his head.

Even after he had spent all day, thinking about how to guard against her. Preparing for all her little tricks... And yet, yet he had still been caught off guard. Throwing him off. Knowing exactly what she was doing- She had to. None of it real- and her own anger.

He was not the weak one.

But he felt like a child. He felt like he was a child again. Torn to shreds. Hesitant and doubtful. And it was all her fault.

And he was angry. Because he knew he should be angry.

And because he did not understand.

Did not _understand_...

He can't afford not to understand.

He is not the weak one. The one who trusts too easily. Who gives Mercy where Mercy is not due.

But he has and he can feel her Soul-

And there is that irritating little song in the air, magic in the air, though he doesn't even notice it... That it is making him even angrier.

But he is not the one. He is not the one who is going to end up getting his brother killed.

And he is just so angry because he hesitated. He did what they told him **not** to didn't they? Fell for her game. Even if just for a moment. He thought, just make it even. Get everything back to NORMAL. But it is not normal. Not. They need to kill her. Or... Or....

Papyrus turned around in the hall, gaze focusing on the closet door, starting to race towards it. Knowing exactly what he had to do. To just drive it all out of his head.

The girl jumped when the door opened, her eyes wide and fearful and uncertain.

And her red eyes... Seeing... And he hates it. Hates her. Like she hates him, he knows. She just told him not a few minutes ago.

SHE is the enemy.

And he has to make it go back to normal.

He is not the one who is going to get his brother killed again.

 _Almost_ killed again.

Why did he ever Spare her? Should have killed her! It was fine, fine. He was going to fix it the other way, and he grabbed her arm, forcing her out of the closet. Dragging her towards his bedroom. To get her to the bed-

"Wait-" Her voice was panicked again, her breath uneven and frantic- She tried to press her feet against the floor, to pull away. To stop him- He did not stop. "Wait, no, wait!"

He hated the tone of her voice. As if she was certain he could listen. Should listen. Desperate for him to listen-

Her Soul pulsing... Wanting to beg-

And he would get her to beg, even if his brother wasn't there. And this time he would tell. This time they would kill her and be done with her and he would not be the one to trust-

And they were in his room, the girl desperate, something in her voice. As if she was trying to _Save_ him, even....

"Papyrus!" The anger in Papyrus' ribcage surged- "Wait!" But the collar was shocking her with his intent, and Papyrus was throwing her onto the bed... Holding her down. Looming over her and holding her down, face down, holding onto her wrists...

And she tried to lift her head, but Papyrus was bending forward, his breath against her neck as he shifted over her, pressing her down onto the bed.

And there was a trembling, withheld sob in her chest as she dropped her head against the mattress, a pulse of despair he's felt so many times from her before and he just has to blot it out.

It's from her lack of control. Just her lack of control. If it was the other way around- If **she** was the one in control-

And he has both wrists in one hand, pressing one down over the other, trapping them and freeing up his other hand, working down her trembling side...

And he is pulling out her Soul. Turning it blue. Letting it rise up out of the way- And she fell even more resigned and weighted down against the bed-

_She can't fight._

He just has to do this and get it out of his head, force it back to normal. Drive out his doubt as he drove into her. He is not the one who can't do what he has to. He can Fight. He will Fight.

And he had his free hand, under her, against her chest, touching her tender skin.

And she is still doing her best to suppress another sob-

And Papyrus, he was the one to apply tender pseudo-kisses against his partner's skin. Pressing his teeth against, using his tongue to graze against them, the closest he can get, his breath against them. And he is trailing down her trembling back, his full weight against her- She can't move-

_She can't act._

Can do nothing as Papyrus slowly moves against her, desperate to work himself up, to arouse, to get this done, over with-

_She has nothing..._

And she can no longer suppress the sob. Her entire back, bruised and cut up yet healed over back- As she let out a weak cry.... And in it all...

"Dream..." She said it, a deep pain from her Soul... As if... almost a grief filled name. The despair-

_She can't even beg..._

It would not even mean anything if she did. Just manipulating him. Just tricking him. He would not be the one to get his brother killed-

_Nothing._

Not again. He would not be the idiot again-

_Nothing...._

He could have killed her- Killed her-

_Nothing but her memories-_

Why did he Spare?

Why did she......

Why was he hesitating again-?

Papyrus opened his mouth, rising back up to her neck and biting down, biting down where his brother had the first day. Desperate.

And the girl cried out, her scream shrill, but something had changed in her stance, struggling now beneath him instead of just laying there, resigned and broken.

Something working up inside her.

_A memory-_

But she could not Fight and Papyrus knew it.

Even if she could work up whatever intent she was struggling for, like he could feel her struggling for and knew she so desperately wanted- She couldn't get it.

But still the human struggled, struggling with her wrists. Her Soul.

And Papyrus refused, refused-

Refused to remember the first day when he had also held her down, and she had looked up at him, begging silently, pleading-

But this time there was something different in the struggle. Something different-

Her reaching. Her Soul reaching... Pulling.

But he knew, even if she could work up the intent- She'd regret it. But the feeling of her wanting to. Reaching and wanting to Fight still. It was enough to validate his feelings. His reasonings.

But she was reaching, pulling, a Song in her Soul-

 _Reaching_ -

And Chara reached, and Papyrus lifted his head as she got a single hand out, reaching forward, her fingers spread towards the head of the bed and he can't see what she is-

But his vision went black for a moment. The world pulled into darkness. Briefly. Briefly- He can feel her intent. Intent. She had intent-

But the collar was not activating and Papyrus pressed her into the bed, the world returning, the darkness gone- but her hand was already where she wanted it- She held on to it with all of her impossible Intent.

And Papyrus could feel the magic wash over him and he jolted, ready for the Attack. But- It was like Checking magic but the other way around. A feeling he has not felt in so long. Since he was a child-

And he lay near breathless against her- The world no longer in darkness but the bright yellow buttons still there at the front of the bed, Chara's hand pressing down-

*Chara is Sparing you....

**[SPARE]**

Spare....

Papyrus was frozen, staring at her hand.... His own hand still pressed over one wrist, the other against her back, supporting himself. And her free hand remained. Pressed. Her Soul pulsing with intent.

*Chara is Sparing you....

She should not know how- In more ways than one she should not know how to do this-

Papyrus was shaking his head-

It was a trick-

It...

*Chara is Sparing you...

Her back was still trembling, but she was trying to lift her head, the tears falling down her face, struggling to breath, to keep her Soul pulsing though-

*Chara is Sparing you....

This was foolish. All he had to do... All he had to do was Fight- Push it away. Fight.

It was a trick-

But her intent.

The Fight.

The traditional, classic Fight-

**Bullet Boards.**

The ones only older generations cared for. Young ones used to practice for a short time- Useless in a true, real Fight-

_"They're not just for Fighting, Chara..."_

She shouldn't be able- To pull him- Her collar? Her intent?

But her intent-

*Chara is Sparing you....

Papyrus yanked her hand away from the button-

He was not the weak one. The one tricked- He was not! She was not genuine, but-

*Chara is Sparing you...

Her Soul pulsed, the button glowing anyways. Even without her touching hand. Papyrus' panic, confused anger was flooding through him and he pulled off of the girl, causing her to yelp as he turned her around to face him-

"I'm not an idiot!" He raged. "I know what you are doing- What all of this is for!"

But in her terrified face- Her wide, teary red eyes and heaving chest- His fingers tightening painful against her wrists-

*Chara is Sparing you...

Papyrus was shaking his head, snarling down at her. Getting closer to her face, his own intent murderous-

*Chara is Sparing you...

And Papyrus is over her, angry and just.. so angry... Confused, but... Knowing Sans would be strangling her by now, he should be strangling her, stopping her from this, stopping her-

*Chara is Sparing you...

"You're just trying to lead me down a dangerous path.. Shambling about and manipulating me! You-"

*Chara is Sparing you...

And he hates her, hates her, the audacity of her-

"You are not even the one in the position to Spare-!...To.... Sp....."

*Chara is Sparing you....

His expression was wide.

He's.... He's.....

And her expression is just so broken, tears still falling down her face...

She's not the one....

"But I don't know what else to do.." She admitted softly, crying... Her eyes finally closed. "I just don't know what else to do..."

She can't Fight.

She can't Act.

She has _nothing_....

The only thing left. The only button she can use....

She has nothing else. Nothing.

But she does not want to give up. She does not _want_ to...

And Frisk....

Frisk.

Frisk.....

Frisk standing in front of Chara who lay on the ground with a nasty wound in her side, struggling to get the monster candy into her mouth. Frisk. Standing between her and Alphys, his arms outstretched with nothing, not even a stick. Nothing but his mouth, with his words, with his hopes and dreams. Even after everything they had seen, everything Alphys had done to them. Everything.... Even watching Temmie dust the last time they had faced her.

Even though that hadn't been-

But _Frisk_.....

That idiot.

Frisk...

_*Frisk is Sparing you..._

*Chara is Sparing you...

Bullet boards.

Bullet boards, those precious things, useless things. So useless,

In that type of Fight this world was made for. In this world after The War. 

For today's type of Fight. What she was made for. Everything she knew how to do- But not Frisk. No. Not Frisk.

Useless. Useless.... Just like his little stick. And yet...

Bullet boards. Intent.

 _Intent_...

More than one type of intent.

More than one type of Love.

Papyrus could not see her. Would not see her. But he could not ignore. Her intent. Though she has no guarantee he will care. That he will let himself- Sans wouldn't. She knows it. Sans would have killed her by now. She would be dead. But Papyrus-

That- _cruel-twisted-lost-kindness_ \- The reason she hated him so much, and yet-

*Chara is Sparing you....

He's right. She is not in the position to be the one Sparing. She has no control. But still. Still....

They could not take it. The things inside her.

She can't do these things on her own. But she has her memory.

But it is all the things she needs-

This thing from Temmie. This thing for and from Frisk.

Her memory.

The smallest bit of hope, a dream, borrowed determination...

He could not deny it.

Her **Mercy** , reason it away.

Her love. **_Love_**. And he would know exactly which one she meant.

And she hates him, she does, she knows he can feel that too. But still. Still...

Mercy.

That was the point of Mercy.

And she can't breathe, and she's scared. But still... For the first time in a long time.

Determined.

This thing from Temmie. This thing from Frisk.

And her eyes are closed. She can't see Papyrus, but she can feel him, still holding her wrists.

"Papyrus...." She is trying her hardest to keep her voice even. Her hardest to not back down.

Don't kill and don't be killed.

LOVE a vicious cycle but Frisk has shown that Mercy, love, is one too.

And Chara's heart is racing....

A leap of faith, for someone who says that they just cannot believe- The one who can't do it alone.

And yet..

"Papyrus, please...."

Her Soul reaching.

This one thing from Temmie. This one thing from Frisk.

One good thing.

A gift.

*Chara Dreamer is Sparing you....

"Please...."

And she has no clue if she is dead or alive, not a single clue. What he is thinking. What he is denying.

Only that Papyrus is releasing her wrists as if he has been stung. And her eyes open, but he is already off of the bed..

Fleeing.

* * *

 

* * *

* * *

Because that's the problem, you see....?

In pretending not to notice.

Because if you slip, if you see just a glimpse. Can't pretend for one little thing. See and can't ignore. Pretend. It forces you to go over every little thing before.

All the times she looked beyond scared, all the times she looked more than only _human_.

Unraveling.

Your entire world.

Cracking.

About to fall apart.

_You've built your house on sand._

And he has seen her. A girl. Scared. Bleeding and begging for her life. Mercy....

And it could not go back to normal.

And now he's seen her again.

And he can't ignore it.

But it is not alone in his mind. The hatred in his brother's eyes. His very own lack of Mercy....

And he has his back against the door of his bedroom, shut, the girl inside, and he has is mouth covered as his bones rattle. Feeling very, very sick...

* * *

_And Papyrus chatted on. Pretending not to notice._

_Pretending for them, to not let them know that he saw and understood and that he felt bad again for worrying them. He did not want to worry them...._

_He was trying. Really trying._

_To be more forceful. To learn how to Fight._

_He just thought, still, the worst person could change._

_But he'd learn. He'd change...._

_Forgetting his belief that people could change because that gets you taken advantage of._

_And he'd changed. As best he could. They'd all changed._

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

Not realizing all the while that good people can change into the worst.

And not even realize it.....

Or perhaps...

Just still.....

Pretending not to notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screeeeaaaaaaaaaams*  
> Oh snap.


	44. FLEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run, with my hands, on my eyes.  
> Blind but I'm still alive.  
> ......  
> ....  
> And all the king's horses and all the king's men...  
> Couldn't put me back together again.

First thought: They had to kill her.

Second thought: What was he _doing_?

There was a wave of shame, confusion, confusion...

Third thought: What was he _Going_ to do?

Fourth though: Sans was going to kill her.

And the knowledge that he _just_ thought the very same...

And it was the _correct_ thought.

Fifth thought, there is no fifth thought. He is lost. Not sure what to do. What to think. What is real. What is not-

The fifth thought: Undyne is the smartest person he knows.

She is the smartest person he knows.

Smart and determined and always willing and able to do what needed to be done, even when Papyrus could not.

She is the smartest person he knows.

Not appreciating the fight in the way Sans did but more than willing to.

To do what needed to be done.

She is the smartest person he knows.

Never running...

Facing everything head on.

But Papyrus cannot.

Because Papyrus is fleeing from his own home; dressing quickly and not even going back to the bedroom because he can't.

And Chara is sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, her heart racing. Hearing him but not knowing what is going on, what is going to happen.

 _Again_.

And all she can do is hug her knees. Not knowing if she is alive or dead. Only that her heart is racing.

And Sans will be home soon, too.

And she can't stop shaking.

And neither can Papyrus as he runs out the door, towards the car.

Because Undyne is the smartest person he knows. His best friend.

She can work it out. If they just talk, the two of them can work out the confusion.

She can tell him what to do. How to fix this. Because something is wrong.

The air around the lab is stifling but he can't even notice because it is already hard enough to breathe. And he is fidgeting as someone calls Undyne, and he is in his usual chair, his magic racing.

And he is trying to calm down, he is. He is trying and he did sort of in the car but now that he is here he is getting worked up again, uncertain, confused...

And Undyne is smiling when she appears, a quip on her tongue as she opens her mouth. But it vanishes in an instant at the clear sight of him. A cruel coldness fills the room, her eyes narrowing...

"I'm going to **kill** her."

Papyrus tilted back in his seat, confused again. Confused. His expression wide.

"What?" He managed because he is just so confused but at the same time, Undyne is the smartest person he knows. It makes sense. Makes sense. She would know the problem right away. Who. But-

"What did she do? What is it? What did she put in your head to shake you? **I'm going to kill her.** "

And she is so ready to attack. Ready to destroy. She is glaring at him, just ready for him to say the word. Maybe not even waiting-

No, not even waiting. Making her own decisions. Without any input from him.

No conversation.

He's just the little boy...

He's still just the little boy-

The one she had to teach, to tell how to act, to keep him in tow...

But...

But.....

Something is wrong. In the air... He can't...

He didn't just want to.....

He wanted to talk. He wanted to understand. Because he is so very, very confused.

But...

He doesn't want to just kill her, he just wants to understand-

And yet at the same time he very much does not want to understand.

Because Sans' hatred and anger. Papyrus' own lack of Mercy... And Undyne....

That coldness. That glare.. That inability to... to _feel_ her... He's noticed it before but he could always work around it but now...

"Papyrus?" But still, there is concern.

But somehow he doesn't quite recognize her when he looks directly at her.

And he can't...

He's never had a reason to, but now. Trying.

He can't _Check_ her. And she doesn't even notice that he just tried to.

Something else is wrong.

"It is not..." He started. "It is not the human..."

A lie. A lie. To his best friend.

But as he does he realizes, this is not something new- He's just never fully noticed-

"It was just something.. at work. I just... really needed a friend." And he is trying to sound genuine. Trying not to give the lie away. Trying to calm down. But he is lying to his best friend.

But thinks.....

Undyne is the smartest person he knows. The smartest person...

And he thinks..

He thinks...

Realizes....

He thinks she _knows_.

All her concern. Her determination to drill it into his skull. All the things he knows. All the things given to him from her specifically that now are all the exact things he is so confused about.

Everything that he is confused about. Everything. Everything had its roots in what Undyne has told him. Because she is the smartest person he knows.

But...

She'd told him that the problem with his magic was the human's fault. Her fault... But... But it isn't. It isn't the human's fault.

There is something wrong. With Sans. With her. With him.

And Undyne is the smartest person he knows. The second most person he trusts... And yet...

He thinks she knows.

He is lying to his best friend. But he thinks maybe.... she is too.

He is always lying.... And she.. she is always lying to him he just pretends not to notice. To not worry her. And yet...

Right now it is making him sick in realization. And he feels even more lost and very, very alone.

Because she is the smartest person he knows and the second most person he trusts and yet... Always lying. All of them are always lying. To each other.

One not to worry the other.

Lies...

Pretending not to notice.

But he is drowning in it right now.

Because how much was a lie??

And if he said. Told. What was on his mind.

She'd kill her.

If he even hinted that he had noticed one of the lies... Even though he still did not understand...

She'd kill her.

Undyne would just... kill her. The human.

Undyne would kill the human, too. Even if Sans did not.

So he... He cannot. He cannot tell her. Talk to her.

He cannot talk to his best friend.

Because she does not trust him. Though she would say otherwise.

She does not trust him.

Sans does not trust him, even. Though he would also say otherwise.

Papyrus does not trust....

He's so used... So used to just accepting it. Because he doesn't trust himself. He knows he is the one... He's the one who would get his brother killed again, if he just didn't listen to them.

Almost get his brother killed. Almost.

Papyrus can't trust himself and it has always been okay. To just listen. Listen to the others. Pretend not to notice.  
But this is different this time. Just slightly different.

His healing magic is wrong, something wrong. His most important magic. And she is lying to him about why.

And something is just slightly different. Because he doesn't trust himself. That is why he listens to the others. Does whatever the others say. He doesn't trust himself.

But this time... This time if he just blindly follows them. He can't.... He can't this time....

Because if he does, somebody else will die.

And he doesn't....

He doesn't know...

If he wants that or not.

He knows what he is supposed to want.

But he does not know if he... if he does....

And in it all, he cannot trust. Trust anyone.

He is alone.

And Undyne is making him tea. Papyrus drinking it. As he continues to lie. A fake scenario at work. A fake situation that has made him shaken. A lie upon lie upon lie.

His friend. The small one. The one he hasn't seen in a few weeks.

Dead.

His friend is dead, he lies.

Gone.

Because he can't think of any other lie that would be convincing enough. To have made him this shaken.  
Besides, it isn't as if Undyne has ever met them. As if Undyne would ever be able to tell the difference....

And just....

Her smile. Comforting him, but a hidden malice still there underneath. Still thinking of the human... even as she comforted Papyrus in his 'grief'.

But maybe it is grief, he thinks. Because he can't talk to his best friend. And maybe not even his brother.

And he really, really, doesn't not know what to do.

He needs a moment. He needs a moment but he also needs someone to talk to. Someone....

And that should be his brother.

That should be Undyne.

But he can't.

He can't.

And he can't pretend not to notice that he can't.

And he is stuck with just his repeating thoughts:

What was he _doing_? What was he _Going_ to do?

And he has to get out of here. Away from Undyne.

Fleeing from everything. Including his best friend.

In his car, driving. Not knowing where else to go.

Just Flee.


	45. The Worst Possible Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ........ T.T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how one person is like ESCAPE and another person is like.. DEATH. And I am over here like, lol, it is never truly that simple. While at the same time no one is ever really WRONG either?? And you all ask just the right questions and I love hearing you speculate. Even when you are wrong. And when you are right, I am just there screaming. And wishing I could tell you. But I can only through actually writing the actual story out, so..... Yeah. Here we are.

Chara did not know if she was alive or dead.... But all she knew was that Sans was home, almost immediately after Papyrus had left. The brothers just missing each other.

And she was in her corner of the closet, breathing with difficulty, panicking. Not knowing what was going on. Where Papyrus had disappeared _to_.

All she knew was that she was in the closet, the awful, awful closet that was somehow also the safest place in the entire house. Not angering Sans even more in not being able to find her and just... just acting like everything was normal. Everything normal, just like Papyrus had wanted it. Normal and she was alive and nothing had happened. Though she could very well be dead.

Just everything put into Papyrus' Mercy....

Mercy.

Her last hope, Mercy.

What she was hoping for though, she did not know.

And the closet door was opening again, roughly, Sans' gaze suspicious. Hateful.

He'd noticed. Noticed the door was not locked.

"Where's Papyrus?" He demanded. Chara's heart raced. She didn't know. She just didn't know- Sans was grabbing her by the arm and yanking her upwards. "You're all wet."

Hate. Suspicion.

It didn't even matter that he Checked her and everything was the same, that she had done nothing that he knew of. The idea had been put into his skull for even the briefest of moments. The briefest. And it had been enough of a reason to set him off.

Just think of what would have happened if she had tried to hide on top of it, she realized. The bomb still there and very angry at her.

"What? The cat finally get your tongue?" He demanded.

Speak, she ordered herself. Speak or you know what he will make you do.

But she knows. He would just do it anyways.....

And there was nothing she could do again.

Not even knowing if she was alive or dead. At Papyrus' Mercy.

And this was a mistake. It had been a mistake.

She was dead. Dead. Dead...

They were going to kill her. She shouldn't have given it to them. Should not have begged. Should not have depended on someone else's Mercy.

The last time she had done that consciously....

Grillby had told her. Told her she would. And now.. She's done it twice. Twice.

But somebody in a long cloak, his true form hidden, once told her.... That there was no shame in being Saved. Spared.

There is no shame in Mercy.

Though she did not expect that was going to happen. No. Not in the slightest. In fact she was surprised she has been shown any at all.

They were going to kill her.

But she also knew....

They were going to do that anyways.

But for now, her heart was still racing. Reminding her that it wasn't done yet.

But the pain in her throat and the roots of her hair was there to remind her too.

* * *

 

Muffet was pouring more coffee into his cup.

 _Muffet_ was pouring more coffee into his cup. A second time now. And she was doing it without his prompting. And without telling him, _order something else, it will help you feel better. Ahuhuhuh_.

So that in and of itself meant he must look as bad as he felt.

Then again he hadn't got the bill yet so this second refill could be on there and she was taking advantage of his sullen state and lack of protests. She did that sometimes, refilled your cup without prompting and low and behold, what is this nonsense on your bill?

You did not even notice because she was talking to you. Distracting you with her piercing eyes.

But Papyrus just kept his head down. Hood up, head down. Only shifting his face to look up at her serious expression.

 _"You look like death, dearie."_ She had said when he had come in. And he had laughed. Laughed... Just lightly, laughed. Because he had felt like it....

And there had just been too much talking about dying and killing lately. And he just wanted a moment.

A moment....

And Muffet's Cafe was giving it to him... The noise and bustle to drown everything out. A place to put his head down.... Good food in a half eaten spider donut. People laughing at the tables around him. And that soft distant something he couldn't place he had noticed the last time he was there. But it was no longer... comforting. It only made him want to hide his face in his arms again. Shame still there inside him.

He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to face Sans and realize the same thing he had realized with Undyne. To make it real.

To realize for certain that there was once again something he could not talk to his brother about. He did not want it to be real. He was holding on to it. The idea that it wasn't real. That it wasn't true. That he wasn't _that_ lost. That confused.....

That his brother would listen.

And the worse part was that it wouldn't even be framed in a way that made it Papyrus' fault. it would be the human's fault. Her fault and she would get killed as if Papyrus needed saving.

Maybe Papyrus did need saving.

Maybe that was the point.

What they were always talking about.

Her getting into his skull.

Under his _skin_.

He just...

He only took another sip of the coffee before settling back down against the surface of the table.

How could this happen? How could your life spiral so out of control so fast?

How could doubt just consume you like that?

A handful of days ago, he'd been with his brother. Laughing and not even conscious of any doubt. Laughing as the human had screamed and hadn't even had to option to beg... Not even the option to beg for Mercy because that would get her killed. No Mercy... And the brothers would not have even stopped.

Laughing, not even thinking it could be this possible. To feel this cut off.....

It's the human's fault... but at the same time.....

Humans get backed into corners. Humans lash back. Violence. They bring you down with them.

That's what everybody says.

But nobody focuses on the fact that you put them into the corner to begin with.

And this human was backed into a corner... She had lashed back, his brother almost killed again. Only at the last moment to spare.

1 HP.

1 _HP_.

She could have taken everything from them....

She could have left Papyrus alone...

But now he felt alone anyways and going home would confirm it.

He was alone in this feeling of doubt.

And on top of it all...

The Bullet Board.

He'd fled from all of those feelings. Fled to Undyne to be assured and to think it through but now there was no hope in that. She would not listen..... Blaming the human before Papyrus had even said a word.... And he hadn't been able to think things through there either. Only guard. Guard against his own best friend.....

Telling them that someone he cared about was dead and that was perhaps not even that much of a lie if you looked at it, taking a step back.

But now he was here. In the bustle of Muffet's. Forced to think it all through. Sitting there with his head down, some distant pulse in the air of Muffet's that is forcing him to think about it. About _her_. The human. About the things, feelings, she betrayed in her intent.

Her true, genuine intent. Intense, complex feelings Papyrus could not understand.

_*Chara is Sparing you..._

How much she **hated** him.

Yet also, just, to feel just how... _tired_ she was.

Just wanting to be left alone.

No tricks that he could feel. No plans.

No _vengeful_ fight. Just wanting to hide-

 _"Destroying all of you."_ She had told him. A human trapped in a corner but they had forced her into the corner to begin with and what he had felt in her intent.... She had been lying. He doesn't think destroying them has ever truly been in her plans... That had not been the only thing that mattered. It had been said to keep him from whatever it was that truly mattered to her.

 _"Love."_ She had also said. The only reason to Fight. And he had just accepted... Accepted she could only mean one type over the other. But...

_*Chara is Sparing you..._

And that feeling, her **_wanting_** something so desperately. Her Soul reaching....

She's apologized before, too. Apologized. Barely audible in her tears. But there in her Soul.

An apology but not to _them_.

And grief.

But Papyrus does not think it is for herself anymore.

Because that night, when Undyne had been there. When Undyne had taken her Soul.

That worst memory.

There had been grief then too, as she had screamed.

And Papyrus just....

He just pretended not to notice. Rationalized it away. All her feelings, he has always rationalized it away to fit his world view understanding.

And now he has to go over every little thing. Every little thing about her that he has ignored and it is time consuming and he feels, really, really, really, sick.

_*Chara is Sparing you...._

Just not wanting to give up just yet. But at the same time... no options left. None but Mercy. Nothing but Mercy and her determination. What she still had of it.

And Mercy....

Mercy she shouldn't have had. Mercy she shouldn't understand. Mercy that.... That Papyrus.. Papyrus was the one who was supposed to be able to know and understand those things and yet... He had blatantly ignored them. He had stood there angry in that hallway and just so... angry... because he could not understand and instead of taking a moment to stop and think it over, he had instantly thought, _kill her_.

And then he had thought.... use her.

Rape her.....

Torture her, get her to beg.

Beg for Mercy that he'd had no plans to give. So he could erase the one evidence of Mercy he had actually given.

And he'd just thought it. Because he could not understand. Because he did not want to take the time to understand. Wanted everything to go back to the way it was before.

And not for a single moment in that hallway did he think of Mercy.

He was supposed to be the one to be able to show Mercy....

The one in the position, the expectation... to Spare.

Why was it... that each time.... it was the _human_ who initiated the act of Mercy?

The human....

.............. She had said: _I don't know_ , when he had asked her why she had spared Sans. And then she had said, a bunch of _little, random things_. Or maybe it was, _random little things_. He could not remember. But little things. Like the hot water, little things.

But she had meant it, in the moment, in that corner, literal corner. She had not known _why_ she had spared Sans. But she had.

She'd shown Mercy she wasn't supposed to have. Mercy to people that had backed her into a corner. People who had not shown _any_ Mercy to her since the moment they had met.

The _people_ who were supposed to know Mercy.....

"Papyrus, dearie?" Muffet was back, leaning down from her web, twisting closer to him as he lifted his head. "Papyrus you are starting to scare me, if I am honest. That and some of my other customers as well."

Oh....

"Oh, sorry... I just...."

He's just....

Lost.

And worrying people again on top of it. Always worrying other people. Disappointing.

"You know, dearie, you can talk to me?" Muffet offered. She must really be concerned then... Papyrus shook his head.

"It's just.... A friend of mine died." He lied again. But he was the one to feel like he was dying.

"Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that." And she sounded genuine. And was pouring a bit more coffee into his cup. "But you look so..." She took a deep breath. "Fallen." She said, in a whisper. To not draw attention.

Oh.....

Oh.

"No." He said quickly. No, no, nope. No.

The fear in his ribcage made him sit up. His magic racing.

"You should go home, dearie. Be with Sans."

Muffet... Telling someone to go home.

"I just needed to be away for a bit." Muffet did not seem so convinced.

"I think that is the last thing you need..." She admitted.

"I think what I need is a drink. A real drink... some... cider? Like Sans gets." Her narrow eyes narrowed even more. Six of them peering into him.

"No." She said sternly.

Okay, it was really bad then. Really bad. Her refusing to sell something.

"How about you come into my parlor, dearie? Let's just sit and talk awhile?"

"No... No, you're right. I need to get home. To Sans..."

Sans and the....

"I'll just excuse myself." Papyrus told her. Muffet spared him her continued protests and she followed him towards the door. Still concerned it seemed. "Here." He said, offering her the cost of the coffee and the donut he had not finished.

And..

Muffet was refusing his money.

 _Muffet_.

"You just go home, dearie. But don't tell anyone. Ahuhuhuhu. I have a reputation." She winked three of her eyes on the right side, giving him a half smile as she put a finger to her lips.

He forced a small smile for her.

"And even though one friend is gone, remember you are always welcome back here. Though don't expect a free meal _ever_ again."

"I won't." He promised. But her care was surprising him... Greatly. "Maybe I'll just do some dishes for you instead of pay, though. Just like old times." She laughed at that again.

"More labor I only have to worry about feeding and nothing else. What a wondrous thought." He only shook his head, and walked out the door. But as soon as he did his reluctant smile fell, and he made his way to the car.

He did not go home. He just drove around the block. Trying to decided. To figure this out. What he was going to do.

He didn't trust himself.

He did not trust the human, either. Couldn't.

And most importantly.....

No. No, Papyrus knew what he was going to do. And he felt sick but it was all he could decide in his sick, trapped, lost mind.....

It was dark when he got home and Sans was in the kitchen, having something to drink and a little flushed. Papyrus had half a mind to sit down and join him... But he just... He knew Muffet was right. That would do nothing good. And Sans was smiling, seeming perfectly content, expect when he saw Papyrus' expression.

"Oh shit, what happened to you?"

"I...."

"Hey..." Sans voice was gentle, reaching out for his arm as Papyrus sat down beside him, his elbows against the white top of the island. "You need a drink too?" Papyrus shook his head. "But what's wrong?"

Maybe... Maybe Papyrus could say.... But...

"I'm fine."

"You are absolutely not fine." Sans' voice was edging into anger. "So. I came home to find the closet door unlocked and the human soaking wet. I may have lost my cool not knowing where you were."

Oh Tor-....

"And the human?" Papyrus asked thinly.

"She's in the closet. Locked up this time. But maybe don't do that. I was two seconds away from skinning her alive just thinking she might have done something."

"Right..."

"But Paps...... Seriously, you okay? You look like something's really rattled your bones. Wait. **Was** it the human? You did come home right? Why-"

Everyone... Just jumping to conclusions. Hostile intent....

Papyrus felt the tears in the back of his eyes.... He really couldn't... He really couldn't tell Sans the truth. He'd want to kill her. And Papyrus just couldn't....

Papyrus had known. That was why he had made his decision. But at the same time... to have it be real. For real.

"Woah, Paps, you okay?"

"My friend died. The...."

Sans shook his head.

"Oh. Wait... You mean....? Like... your.. patrol pal..? Actual _friend_?"

"Yeah."

"Oh......." There was silence. And Papyrus put a hand against his forehead. Crying to himself finally. Finally crying in all of this chaos. "H-Hey... Hey, maybe.. Are you sure it was that one? Their supposed to be... you know.. Tons of 'em all around? You sure it was yours?"

Right. Right. Why he had chosen this lie. To kill off this one. So he could take it back later. A mistake.

"They're like. A dime a dozen right?" As if that was supposed to make him feel better. Papyrus felt a true spark of anger in his chest at that. Even though it was, actually, a lie. "Ah, sorry. Sorry. Insensitive. I'm sorry. A little. Little buzzed here, too. Sorry." And he meant it. He was sorry. "I didn't mean they didn't mean anything and replaced- just.... you know. More than one.. Right?" He made a peculiar face. "Right? Alphys swears up and down there are a bunch. Gotta be..."

"Right. Right. You're right. I understand."

He understood just about nothing.

"And just because they ain't around. You said that they was helping a friend too right? Sick? So... So..." Sans just shut his mouth now. "I'm sorry for your loss." He said...

"Yeah..." But all Papyrus had was tension in his ribcage. As he continued to lie. But if he told... They would just kill her. Blame her and kill her and not even ask questions. Not even blame Papyrus... And Papyrus would just...

Oh Toriel, what was he doing?

But something was wrong.

He just lay his head on the table and continued to cry.

"Oh hey, Paps." Sans' arm was around him, holding him more tightly. "I'm sorry, broz.. Sorry..."

"It's not your fault.."

It's his own. He's.... He's the one who brought her here. And he's the one who never said anything. Or he's the one who let himself open up and become doubtful. He's the one who... Everything that was wrong was wrong with him.

But Sans... That hatred...

What was he doing? Going to do?

No. No. He's decided. He decided. He made his choice. And he felt awful about it. Awful.

But he's come to the realization he is in fact the worst person. And now he understands why the worst person can't change. He always thought... thought it was because they would be beyond evil and selfish and unable to do anything for anybody else. Now he realizes... He is the worse person.

And he is a coward. He's just a coward.

But maybe it is because he is being selfish. Unable or unwilling to give it up his....

Unable to.....

"Let's go to bed, bro... You just stick with me. Don't cry, kay?" Papyrus took a deep breath. Right. Right. Don't cry. He didn't think he even had the right to cry. "Hey." He was smiling. "You can take it out on the pet if it'll make ya feel better?"

That was the very, very LAST thing that would make him feel better. And the shame was building inside him again...

"No. No. I don't.. Want anything to do with her." Sans nodded in seeming understanding. "I'll sleep in my... in my room. I just.... need to be alone for a bit, okay?" Sans looked hesitant, but then he leaned in and hugged his brother more tightly for a moment.

"Kay." And then he was sliding off, making his way towards the bedroom.

And Papyrus waited in the kitchen, looking over the dishes, counting them. Placing them in his mind. And he sighed. Feeling entirely weighted down. He would wait a little bit more. To make sure Sans did not come back. And to dry his eyes. To look unmoved. Okay.

But Sans did come back, leaning in.

"Oh. Also. Before I forget. Tomorrow.. I'mma... I'mma be going out with some coworkers after work. So... Won't be home. Don't plan making anything crazy for supper? Wait up? I don't know what I'm sayin'." Papyrus couldn't help but laugh lightly at that and nodded.

"Kay.." Sans nodded in response and began to disappear around the corner again.

"Goodnight, bro."

And Papyrus flinched as he heard his brother kick the door of the closet.

"Night, pet!"

And then a few moments. Silence. Alone.....

And Papyrus took another breath. Another minute or two to make sure Sans did not come back.

And he stood up and making his way towards the closet. And he stood there, hesitating. His magic sick inside him. He began to unlock the door.

She had the second blanket he had given her, that he had forgotten he had even given her, over her head, hiding, her form shaking, muffled tears. Slowly, Papyrus bent down, reaching out for it. Not wanting to be there. Not wanting to _be_ there.

"Human." He said it gently, as gently as he could, to give her at least a sign as to how he was going to act. To let her hear... the anger was gone. But also, still not her name. Not her name. That in and of itself a message. He gently wrapped his fingers around the top of the blanket. "Human."

She was more than a bit roughed up. And the bite mark he had given her was still there, a few others joining it.

And Papyrus reached out his hand, still shaking, as he let his healing magic flow through him and into her.

Wrong.

It's wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, bleeding, horribly **wrong**. SO wrong.

And still he does not know why or has any way to find out. Undyne would not tell him.

Wouldn't tell him why he feels so sick inside.

One red eye is still closed, too pressed up against the blanket. And maybe... a bit bruised. And he tries to heal that too. Tries. And he can't look at her, directly in the eye. He just looks somewhere in between them.

"Did he feed you?"

She did not answer and he glanced at her face again. She was looking down, tears in her own eyes.. And he started to heal her throat.

But still. She does not answer and he does not need her to.

"Stand up." He ordered... And she struggled to obey... But her limbs too shaky. Being abused. Not having eaten since this morning. Because Papyrus had fled.

To give himself time to figure this out. To calm down.

And now he is realizing, she just... She has not had the luxury of having the same. No time to calm down. No time to have her heart stop racing. No moment to rest peacefully...

He does not grab her arm like usual as she stands. He just begins to walk towards the kitchen. And the girl has the second blanket wrapped around her shoulders... And it only reminds Papyrus of how Sans had been coming out of his bedroom after she had almost killed him.

It only reaffirms his decision.

And Papyrus stops in the living room... Hesitating. And he knows the human is standing there, her blanket wrapped around her, waiting, terrified...

And Papyrus let out a deep sigh as he leaned forward a bit, closing his eye sockets a moment.

Feeling scared and alone... The desire to just have someone to talk to... Those feelings... Those feelings she must be feeling right now. He can't afford himself to image what it must be like to feel that way at every moment. He couldn't afford it... To acknowledge. To not pretend not to notice.....

And he turned around to do something he has not done since he was a small child. Magic sparked and the girl gasped as she took a step back, but he was pulling her Soul into a Fight. And he did not stop. He went one step further. One level deeper. Closer.

The world around them went black. All focus on each other. As the yellow buttons formed.

The Bullet Board in front of their feet between them.

Her bright, red, radiant Soul exposed.

The human swallowed painful, her heart racing, her chest going up and down quickly as her eyes darted around. To the darkness. The darkness surrounding.

The Bullet Board had come from her first, she had been the first to use it, but Papyrus can clearly see, not even having to feel, that she does not like it. In the slightest.

And neither did he.

How open and exposed one felt like this. How close to your opponent.

Papyrus was the one who felt everything, even if he pretended not to notice much of what he did. But he was used to being the one to feel. His adept healing magic giving him that in many ways. But he idea of having others also being able to do the same...

Open and exposed.

This was why everyone avoided this to begin with.

Why it was no longer the norm.

It was no good to be able to truly feel your opponent in a Fight. To be reduced to taking actual Turns. And besides, Turn taking did not mean the other could still not play dirty. So why... It was useless.

That. That was why no one used Bullet Boards anymore. How had she even learned it? Even if she had simply known about it, someone, a monster, would have had to had shown her _how_. Or a monster having shown the human that had shown her. But _somebody_ had to have shown her. Especially in her knowing how to _initiate_ it. 

This idea that she could have some sort of other connections- No. No. He put it out of his mind.

But this is why no one used these anymore.

Open and exposed.

But still... Still...

The girl reached out timidly, taking her Turn. Reaching again for Mercy.

[Spare]

She looked up at him, her red eyes cautious. Not trusting. Confused and terrified.

Her button to Fight was not even glowing though it still lay there, waiting. If she could only surpase the collar's effects without it nearly killing her...

But still....

*Chara is Sparing you....

And he could feel her intent. To just be left alone. And perhaps something else she also wanted from him but he could not truly understand and make out. But whatever it was...

Papyrus hesitated, but he reached out...

[Fight]

The girl flinched and took a step back, defensive, her heart racing and preparing- But then still daring to glance away from him briefly. To the darkness around her- Then back towards him.

But the attacks do not come. His turn simply passes.

The girl was breathing funny still, but she once again pressed Mercy.

[Spare]

*Chara is Sparing you...

And Papyrus reached out for [Fight]

But once again time passed. His Turn spent.

"Do you understand?" He asked seriously.

The girl looked down. A soft nod.

It makes perfect sense to her, actually. And he can feel it though he does not understand fully. She's just resigned and accepting. This is still more than she had been expecting. And this was also more Mercy than he was expecting from her..

Yet _still_....

"I will not betray my brother." He whispered. His hand still on the [Fight]. "I will not."

He took a staggered breath.

"This... Does not matter. What I think does not matter. You are still my enemy. Humans. Monsters. We are still enemies."

It does not matter... It simply does not matter. It doesn't.

It **_can't_**.

And he feels awful. He knows. He knows that he is now the worst person that he knows.

Because now he is consciously choosing... Choosing to ignore her.

He just can't trust her.

Can't trust _himself_.

And he can't Fight.... He can't Fight his brother. He can't Fight Undyne.

If he says something, they will not listen. They will kill her. To stop them he would have to Fight them. He.... He can't. He can't fight them. So... This has to not matter.

To keep her alive and himself sane....

To keep... To keep those important to him, still not disappointed in him...

He's a coward. And he knows. He knows he is a coward.

And he is the worst person.

And the worst people cannot change. Because....

But this is the correct.... The correct....

"From now on. I do not talk to you. And you will not talk to me. No conversation."

But... It would not be back to normal. He cannot pretend that now. It is not back to normal and it never would be. And the reason he was so angry earlier was because he was just lying to himself and couldn't keep pretending that it was.

But still....

He will not betray.

He does not _trust_ her...

And now he had to be honest... Not trusting himself.

He doesn't think he ever has.

How can you when you are know you are the reason your brother has 1 HP. Had _had_ 1 HP. And no matter how much he'd healed he couldn't fix it. And now she is here. And that is his fault too. And he can't fix it either. And he is not supposed to want to. He doesn't know if he _does_ want to. Or if he is out of his mind and it is a trick and he just....

He will not betray.

He will not Fight... Fight them.

He just...

The girl's hand was hovering over ACT.... but she could not do it.

There was nothing left to say.

Her hand was back to Mercy. But this time...

[Flee]

The Bullet Board disappeared as Papyrus did not pull her back in.

And they were standing there. As the light returned. The world emerging from the darkness and yet still Papyrus felt heavy. As if his own Soul was blue. And her head was down.

"Now... Let's go get you something to eat."

And they do not talk. They do not speak or look at each other. As she eats. As he leads her back to the closet and puts her in.

Though he does find her a pillow, not looking at her as he adds it to her growing collection of little things. And he hesitates....

"Are you afraid of the dark?" He has never thought it before but the way she reacted in the Bullet Board.

"Darkness." She says, her voice rough... But she says it. As if they are not the same thing.

Papyrus shakes his head. He is already having a conversation with her. Just like he said they would not.

He shuts the door. But he hesitates... before he can lock it. And a moment later he is resting his head against the door. Pain running through him.

Because he thinks he can hear a small song, from her soul, from within.

Something much like her little chant she has to keep herself together. This to comfort....

And it just makes him sick. Sick....

He's the worst person. The worst...

But he can't change.

He doesn't know how.

That is the problem. That is why the worst person can't change.

He just does not know how.

It is everything everyone has ever told him and all he has ever known.

It's 200 something years of conflict.

It's Undyne.

It's his _brother._

His brother.

And it is the correct response.

Even if maybe... Maybe it is not the right one.

He just... He doesn't know.

None of this makes sense anymore.

But one thing.

His brother.

Brother...

It's Sans.

And he will never bring himself to Fight Sans.


	46. Migosp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk.  
> Stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. THERE IS NEVER ANY FORESHADOWING EVER ANYWHERE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THIS CONCEPT IS SHUSH YO MOUTHS

_It was a few days later that Chara saw him again, The River Person, gliding down the river..._

And she hesitated. Because she always hesitates when it comes like things like this. And he has almost passed, almost out of reach... when Chara started running down the river side after him. But like a wall, as if her Soul knew, knew the distance between her and Frisk. Like a string tied to her hand. She stopped. And her mouth opened, but she could not call out. And he was slipping out of reach.

Chara's mouth closed and her head fell....

And he was gone.

And she sat on the rock over looking the water, silently hoping he would come back around this way to get home. But.... He didn't.

And for a moment she felt really, really alone. Even as Frisk came to find her, concerned.

Because there were still things she could not talk about to Frisk. Knowing him. How he would worry.... Or worse, not understand and simply... Go on believing.

Somehow, still just so easy for him.

But The River Person did not come back. Neither the next day. Or the next. And as it went on she realized he was not coming back for awhile. Not able to.

And she risked it. A silent prayer to that fake goddess Queen that he really was alright.

It couldn't hurt, Chara reasoned. He was a Monster..... She had to be obligated to care about Monsters, right?

But Chara had her doubts....

If she really had used her own son to start The War.

But she risked the small, silent prayer anyways.

It couldn't hurt.

And it wasn't like there was anything Chara herself could do. Except hope and wait he would wake up again just like all the other times before.

And that it would not be so long.

All there was left to do was just live.

And keep at it. Holding on to all the good, little things she could. Being with Frisk. And getting her head back on straight. Keeping the dark sickness and itch in her Soul at bay. Refusing to feed it.

And just keep going on. Going....

The River Person right. She would not Fall Down. There was still too much to do. She was still there. Frisk too.

She just had to keep focusing on that. All the good little things. Good little things. Like Frisk teaching her how to skip stones like Mr. Jones had shown him the last time they had went to Patience. Even though it scared away all the fish. Like how Frisk apologized to the fish they did in fact caught and ate. Like Frisk and the apple tree he had found, the meadow full of golden flowers. Like Frisk still unable to start a decent fire to save his life. Like Frisk and all the bugs he found. Another poor apology to the baited worms. Like Frisk....

But also the silence. In the meadow by herself though that string still there, keeping her in shouting distance of her brother. Always in shouting distance in case one needed to call for help and so that somebody would always come.

Playing with the string she had. Practicing the snares she had seen and had been trying to replicate ever since. Practice and practice and never quite right. While at the same time... Sitting in the meadow. Watching the same rabbits playing... and her own mumbled apology... as she tried with her snares again. Desperate to get it right. But also the busy work of her fingers. Mindless busy work of her mind. To keep the itch away, the want for power... The sickness...

Away.

Trying to get things as close as she could... back to normal. Any semblance of it. Please....

And she practiced with her snares. Setting one up near the apple tree. And beginning to make her way back to Frisk-

Only to hear a snap and a voice-

"Oh- Fuck!"

Chara's head snapped around, her eyes wide. Her breath frantic.

A voice. That voice.

She had her dagger in hand. Her dagger at the ready, as she made her way back.

And there it was. The little cat-dog monster, dangling frustrated in the air by leg.

And Chara had her dagger out in front of her... difficulty breathing as her red eyes stayed wide and her entire stance on alert. And the Monster noticed her. It sighed. Looking completely serious and unafraid. Even as it dangled carelessly from its own leg.

"Alright. I completely deserved this. Like... I literally watched you set it up."

Watched her.

Watching her...

Watching them..

Watching Frisk.

"But... Surprise!! You got it to work!" It near mocked but perhaps just too irritated by the fact he had fallen for it. "Yay."

Chara's heart was racing, racing... Her hand on her dagger. No. No, no. Why did it have to...?! Why couldn't it have just left them alone?!

And she is shaking. Shaking. But there is no stepping back now. She grit her teeth and stepped forward, pulling the dagger back to strike. Before she can hesitate. Make a mistake. Pulling the dagger back- To build intent. She had to, _had to_ \- No more room to Spare. Not here-

And the Monster's own eyes were now going wide.

* * *

There are a number of Monsters in the Ruins. This a fact. A fact that Chara had not understood when she was younger. Before Frisk. All she knew was that they were there and that she needed to avoid them. Avoid everyone. But yes, there were Monsters in the Ruins though she did not know why... Why? When they did not have to be. Why not just leave? And in the process, leave her alone.

Now she knows a little bit better. Why Monsters come into the Ruins.

It's a whole array of things. Not everyone the same. It is not all to taunt and tease. To hurt.

All with their reasons, just like The River Person. Some _just_ like The River Person.

The city too much. The chaos and madness and needing to escape. Some Monsters that have simply fallen through the cracks if not straight up struggling to remain not Fallen. The setting. The shadows. The yellow light. Overgrown plants consuming the rubble. Reclaiming it for the earth. Something there. In the Ruins. Why Chara always finds her way back there. When she is feeling the opposite of the Monsters. Finds her way back despite the danger. Finds her way back when she is ready to face things and not hide.

The forest is where she goes to hide. To refind herself. Re-center. That was where she had gone after finding Frisk. That was where she had gone after gaining LV.

Some monsters go to the Ruins to find themselves, just like that.

But that is not all that is there. There are people there who just like to be there. Just because they seemed to belong. Creating a changing, moving neighborhood. No one ever staying in the same spot even if they stayed in the Ruins. Though when Chara was younger, before Frisk, before the Bullet Boards, Chara had only seen it as a deadly maze. Ever changing labyrinth to navigate. Humans and monsters.

But if it could be believed, when the hostile intent settles down.

A brooding ghost blocking the way, pretending to sleep, saying Z out loud... A potential, deadly threat.. becomes a friend with songs and a shy smile. The Froggets that don't understand what you are saying but appreciate it anyways. The Whimsums that burst into tears and you have to be patient, patient... more patience than Chara would have ever had but Frisk was full of. The Veggetoids, there it seems, only to help nature take back the area. Blending in... The city too much, too much. The Veggetoids the most _useful_ in Chara's mind. Though pushy. Wanting to stuff you with greens but at the same time teaching Chara more and more plants that were edible. And which were not....

And a bunch of lost, very confused spiders trying to start up a bake sale. Very, very much in the wrong place.

But then......

There were the teenagers.

A few runaways. Not a threat... Not any real threat.

But the others. The ones who came. Just to play.

Humans and Monsters. For real, they claimed. Just there. No other reason but to Fight.

Some more difficult to deal with than others.

But then.

There were the _Migosps_.

Keeping everyone around them under their thumb. Their control.

If there was a group with a Migosp, you could not Spare them.. Not unless you have first Spared the Migosp. The others, even if they lose the will to Fight... will continue. But sometimes they will stand there. Their turn going. Spent. Though technically, they were still pressing Fight.

But they will not Spare.

Will not Spare.

Though typically, they will not Fight.

So laying there in the closet again, curled up in a ball, with her new pillow and two blankets and her magic healing tablet hidden in the corner...

To Chara it makes _perfect_ sense... Though she had not anticipated this outcome to begin with. More than she had expected in all of this...

But she knows she can expect nothing more. That she has reached the farthest she can go.

Not even Frisk, she feels, would be able to get any farther.

Because Papyrus is best friends with a Migosp.

Maybe his brother, too.

In fact... Chara is sure of it.

And a group with two Migosps is even more dangerous than normal. Nearly impossible. You can only Flee.

And Chara is in a situation. A Fight. A group with two Migosps.

And she is stuck. Caught in a trap.

She could not even Flee.

The collar around her neck. The chip buried in her wrist. Sans sure to track her if she didn't get it out and she very much doubts her ability to get it out...

She cannot Flee.

She is stuck in the corner, no longer able to Fight and her Mercy spent. As far as she can go on her own...

And she _is_ on her own. And she knows it.

And all she can do is pull the blanket back over her head, to help her hide though it is pointless.

She is in a Fight, a group with two Migosps.

You could not Spare _Undyne_.

And Sans was a bomb just set to kill her.

And Papyrus. Alphys. Are just going to stand there, pressing Fight.

And Chara was alone. Still, nobody could see her.

And she was alone.

Alone and just not wanting to be there.

Wanting to go home.

To the forest. To hide.

With Frisk in tow. Frisk skipping stones. Apologizing to fish and worms. Gardening a bit with her. And The River Person to come, to know that they were alright. And was he alright? Where was he? What did he think? About where Frisk and Chara had gone?

And Temmie......

Temmie.

* * *

 _"Wait! W-Woah, wait!_ Not here to Fight!" The Monster managed, twisting in the air. And Chara froze.

No! No, she could not freeze! Strike! Don't hesitate!

It had followed them. Followed, hunted them down. To strike. To kill. To something-

Wanting something. Wanting. Dangerous. To her. To Frisk. Kill it before it kills you.

But she was frozen. That thing, dark and awful deep inside her. It wanted her to strike so desperately. And her mind was telling her that was the correct thing, what she needed to do. But still... Her own heart. Did not want to.

Desperate for the Monster to give her any reason not to.

Any reason at all.

* * *

And morning came. And Papyrus did not look at her in the face. Only leading her to get breakfast. Just like every other day. And Sans taunted her because she did not finish eating before he came out of the shower. And Papyrus just stood there. There but not exactly watching, his gaze diverted. As Sans taunted and she was in the closet again.

Just thankful to be in the closet again, being left alone to 'hide'.

And if she was going to die here... She just wished she could just have a chance to say sorry. To Frisk. To Temmie.

Just wishing she could say sorry to everyone.

She didn't want to give up.

She didn't.

She just.....

She really has run out of things to do.

To Fight.

 _And_ to Spare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all seriousness though, I never know what I am doing so yeah


	47. Humans and Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is chaos...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And maybe more character development than I should allow.  
> We'll be shifting away from Papyrus for a bit after this, I think. We just have to get this out here.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: This was edited and ending ironed out because is WAS too much development in one go and we'll see it again later down the line.  
> This is fine.  
> Whatever.  
> ..... I don't know what I'm doing.

Papyrus has never been so happy to go to work. At least, go to work alone. When he was working along side his brother it did not matter. He could walk, talk, do all that he was supposed to and have fun doing it. Now it was mostly just walking. But this time, he was would be content doing it. Walking. Walking. Mindless distractions.

"Are you sure you're alright to go?" Sans asked as he sat on his motorcycle. Ready to leave too, but lingering. Lingering and cautious.

"I am fine. It is better than staying in and doing nothing."

"Right..." Sans agreed. He looked down at his handle bars. "You know. I can call off my get together and we can just stay in tonight." He offered. But Papyrus could tell that, he also really, really wanted to go out tonight. And he figured that would be best for everyone. A night where the human just stayed in the closet. Just one more last moment. To be.

"No. You go. It will be good for you. Don't worry."

 _Good_ for him...

Don't worry....

Papyrus did not flinch or back down as Sans sighed. But he nodded and started the cycle.

"Alright. See ya. Text me or call if ya feel too bad. Okay?"

"Alright."

But still there was that excitement inside of Sans. A perhaps.. childish excitement... Maybe.. Perhaps that was not the correct... word for it. Childish. Something else. But it had that same unbridled... unbridled unbridled-ness.

But also... underlying intent...

And Papyrus got into his car and drove. Ready to be distracted.

Only to get there... And the lady at the desk- an older, previously retired guard who could not stand sitting at home so instead came back to be sitting at a desk here- stared at him over her rimmed glasses that kinda reminded him of Undyne at times. Just staring over the glassed, but Papyrus suspected that she actually needed them to read unlike Undyne. And she also had literal four eyes, not two.

"Why are you here?" She asked though, gruff.

"Ummm...." Papyrus just stared at her. Not sure of what she meant. "My... My patrol? Like... Like always??" She tilted her head.

"Pretty sure somebody is already on it? Don't you have off today...?"

And Papyrus just....

He stared at the floor.

"Oh.." He breathed. "Fuck..."

He's been so.. out of it. And his last day off he would have called off anyways. The day... The 7th day. The day after Sans had almost died. He'd just been so....

"Oh.. Right." Papyrus agreed.

"Are you alright, young man?"

No.

"Yeah. Just tired." The woman hummed and shook her head.

"Then I suggest you best go home and use this to your advantage." She said seriously.

Home was the last place he wanted to be.

But he got back into the car. Not knowing where to go. His brother at work. Undyne and Alphys. He'd just worry them if he went to Muffet's again...

He supposed he'd... He'd....

Papyrus just went to the store. Stocking up the fridge something needing to be done anyways. Desperately.

And it was the perfect distraction.

Distraction.

Not wanting to go home. Not wanting to face the human. Feeding her breakfast had been enough of a hassle as it was.

But all he has to do is think of Sans and he is strong enough to keep the doubt at bay. Strong enough to face her. His decision reaffirmed.

Humans and Monsters. And he is with his brother.

And whatever doubt there is does not matter.

But somehow he is making his way back around to Muffet's. And he tells himself that it is so that he can let her see him. Be reassured. Knowing he really, really had scared her the other day.

She had a relieved expression though she tried to hide it behind a laugh and pushing him to buy something.

A spider donut, please.

To go.

Not _two_..

 _To go_..

...... Maybe two...

No.

Just one.

One donut. One.

To go.

And Muffet hummed in amusement, her eyes piercing. Daring him to reconsider again. But he didn't. He put his foot down. One donut. One. One donut for himself. One.

Even if he wasn't feeling it anyways and only bought it to appease her. To convince her that he was, in fact, feeling better. Better.

He was feeling better. Decisions made.

The confusion didn't matter.

But Muffet was humming to herself as she put the donut into the bag. A tune. A tune he thought he had heard recently but couldn't quite place. He thought it was one of the new Napstaton songs he'd heard on the radio. Ghost Fight? But it sounded.... Off.

And, actually now that he thought about it he had not sat down to watch all of the latest program yet....

He didn't know when the next reshow was and all the ones online were probably blocked or taken down by now. So....

Oh well. He'd figure it out eventually.

Didn't matter.

All that mattered was Muffet was handing him his donut and coffee and he was headed out the door. Escaping her gaze before she noticed how very much not alright he was still and that the only thing different from yesterday was that he had made his decision on how to handle this.

And he made his way back towards the car. His poor groceries waiting sadly. Because although there was no fear of it going bad. Monster food did not go bad. Not like that. The car was still likely to grow hot in the sun. Still not the best idea to just leave it all there.

And there was no more stalling. No more waiting... He'd best be getting home.

But he took his time driving. Took his time parking. Took his time bringing the groceries in. Taking his time..... Stalling though he didn't know _why_.

He didn't have to deal with the human. She could stay in the closet. She stayed in the closet all day any other day. He'd already been planning on it. A night just away from her. A moment....

He should just... get her shower out of the way. Put her back in. Be done with it until it was time to feed her. Feed her. Put her back in. It was nothing new. The same as before. Normal.

But everything was not normal....

But even so, Humans and Monsters. She was still a Human and he was still a Monster and even though he was confused that would always be true and there was no confusion about that.

Humans and Monsters.

Papyrus reluctantly made his way to the closet, only to find. The cat was there. Laying down, glaring at the door. As if its eyes could pierce through and see her.

"Shoo." Papyrus said, making his voice loud enough so she could hear who it was in the hallway without making it obvious that was what he was doing. The cat just glared at him though. Unmoved and unmoving. Just glaring. Papyrus huffed and risked bending down, reaching out his hands.

The cat hissed violently. Daring him. Just daring. And Papyrus pulled his hands back protectively.

You did not move the cat. Only Undyne could move the cat.

So he supposed his dilemma was taken from him. He could not get to the door. Open it. The human had to stay inside.

The demon, fiend had deemed it so.

But as if sensing this. Sensing Papyrus' relief. The cat rose up, eyes piercing. And it sauntered away. Its tail flicking as if to sass him.

Papyrus stared.

"I want you to know.. You are the fucking worst." He said. And the cat meowed. As if to remind him...

But no. He had thought it last night. When everything was murkier. That he was the worst one. But it was not true. It was not.

Humans and Monsters. Monsters and Humans.

But then why was he hesitating as he stood in front of the closet door?

Humans and Monsters.

He reached for the lock, sliding it over and opening the door.

She was in her little ball again, sitting with her knees up, but now instead of hugging, she had the second blanket pulled up to her chest. Staring fearfully.

"Apparently..." He said weakly.. "I have the day off."

He owed her no explanation though, he knew. And she did not say anything....

"Did you want a shower?" He asked.

Yes, he knew the answer was. It was always yes. She always wanted a shower. Even if she hated every second being in there with him or Sans. And hated that she was not willing enough to fight them about it-

-Except that one time. That one time when she had slipped bellow the water, after Papyrus had shocked her simply because she wanted to do something herself, and her- letting out a frustrated scream- And- except that other time when Papyrus had just been so angry for no reason other than his own confusion because she had asked a question that had caught him off guard-

But other than that... so desperate to get what she could off of her. Even if they both knew it would only last an hour or so... Just always so desperate...

The girl did not respond. Only resting her head against her blanket covered knees. Not wanting to look at him. And he didn't look at her, looking out across the hall.

No conversation....

But not back to normal though it was still how it should be.

Prisoner and guard...

Executioner.

And it did not matter about anything else.

Humans and Monsters.

It didn't matter what she could feel... Whether she was even a person or not, if she was or if it was a trick, he was still so confused..... But... She.. was still the enemy. She was still his enemy. And _Sans_ '. Humans and Monsters. And she deserved.... this. And she knew it, she said it herself. She knew the answer to the question, _Why?_

Humans and Monsters.

And she deserved this.

And it didn't matter. The true answer as to, _Why?_

And all he had to keep doing was think of Sans, his brother. And he could keep doing it.

"Let's go then." He told her, risking to look back at her. Not ashamed anymore. No. He'd made his decision and she had been told...

He helped her stand, her entire body clearly sore. She was always in some way sore now.... And no matter what he did, there were always bruises and cuts that would not completely heal. Even at full HP. And she was so incredibly thin. She'd always been thin, but he knew he still had not been feeding her enough and she had gotten even thinner. And pale. It's only been.... has it been ten days now? The week had passed, that day when Sans and the human had slept most of the day. Healing magic racing through them and Papyrus had done his best. And now it was, wasn't it? Day 10.

Before... If she had reached Day 10 in... any other way... than what she has. Before all of this. He would have given her a compliment. About holding on. About Fighting. He's done it before. Complimented her about that, truly meaning it. And it never struck. And now he could plainly see why.

This was never about the Fight for her.... Never.... Just trying to survive. Fighting, destroying them, not actually the only thing that mattered to her. Probably the very last thing, actually....

10 days.....

..... 10 days spent mostly in the closet. Give or take....... Her probably preferring all the time she's spent in the closet compared to out of it... But none of it had done any good for her body.

Papyrus led the human to the bathroom, the water on and starting to steam as she stood, half supported by his arm. Half leaning away from him. Her hair in her face protectively from his gaze.

Her Soul felt silent again though not nearly as empty as it had been the day she had almost killed Sans... _She had almost killed Sans_ , he clung to that like a shield just like he always did. But while she did not feel that empty, Papyrus wondered if there was anything on her mind or if, he could see her face, it would only be blank and down trodden. A shadow.

_"I can do it myself."_

_"That is not the point and you know it."_

The point had been to break her....... but...

"Well, are you getting in?" Papyrus asked her. The human lifted her head, looking at him finally. "We're wasting water, you know?" She glanced at the water and then back at him, uncertain as he didn't forcefully guide her in. Only keep her supported..

But Papyrus had made his decision. He would not Fight Sans. He would not defend her. Too confused but certain in exactly one thing: Sans.

But he also... would not Fight her if he didn't have to. He wouldn't make her life any more of a hell than it had to be.

That was what he had meant... In the Bullet Board... And he was still figuring out what all this meant and what he was doing and how much of what. But this was one thing he knew she really wanted, and... he felt like he could give to her. So he would. He...

"Well?" He said a bit more sternly. As if he would change his mind if she did not hurry. The human untangled herself, stepping into the tub, and hesitantly, looked back towards him as he leaned up against the wall, looking towards the door with his arms crossed. Half wanting to put up his hood over his head but felt like that would give away his lingering confusion.... And the human, slowly, as if she expected him to change his mind anyways, began to pull the door of the shower shut. For the first time shut without one of the two brothers with her.

Papyrus could hear her breathing, slightly panicked and in no way relieved. Just as confused and uncertain about all of this as... he was. Just as untrusting. Well, no... More untrusting. And to be fair she had every right to be.

That was the way it was supposed to be.

Humans and Monsters.

And she stayed in there until the air started to grow cool again... The hot water gone.

Hot water...

The shame was returning again. That stupid question. If he had just answered that stupid fucking question...

The water turned off, but the human hesitated. Papyrus could see her blurry figure, staring at his own blurry figure. Not willing to open the door... Perhaps half wondering how much time she could get out of him.....

No. No, Papyrus did not think that was true. She was just scared to open it. Everything too uncertain still for her to have any plans about all of this.

Papyrus pulled out a towel and held it out. And slowly, the human opened the door wide enough for her to peak her head out.. Eyeing him still, fearfully. As he held out the towel......

The red eyes. They narrowed, anger pulsing through her. And she grabbed the towel forcefully, pulling it in and re-shutting the door. Taking as long as he would allow her. And it was only a minute or two. Before he opened up the shower door. The human having the towel wrapped around her. But the anger was faded out of her again. Her head down.

"Alright..." Papyrus reached for her arm and she flinched. The action made Papyrus hesitate.. His hand close but not touching as he watched a bead of water run down her shoulder from her hair. "Your.... question." He started again.

The girl did not look up. She only hiked her shoulders higher, protectively. As if, almost, to ask him _what about it?_ though she said not a word.

"Is that still the question you wanted answered?"

She shrugged.

He'd kinda ruined it for her, hadn't he?

That one good thing she had been looking for.

One single thing.

He had to metaphorically bite down the apology. Though he did clench his teeth for a moment, so perhaps not so metaphorically.

"Come with me." He told her, perhaps too softly. Touching her elbow. She grimaced but began to obey. Her curiosity still there and enough. He walked slightly ahead of her, his hands in his pockets. And he really wanted to put his hood up. To hide. To just ignore her. But once he got this done. Done. He could just... put her back into the closet and not deal with it. With her.

And he led her into the kitchen, past the kitchen towards the door that led onto the back porch. Where the washer and drier were. Where the water heater was. The two of them stood there, the human holding her towel secure around herself, and both of them just staring at the thing. Papyrus shrugged.

"That's it." He admitted. Not knowing what else to tell her. Why the question hadn't made any sense to him. And he is pretty sure half the answer was also magic because if she asked him how it worked-

"How does it.." She began, crouching down and eyeing it. Anxiously aware of his entire existence.

"I have no idea. Just that it does." He admitted.

Sans would probably know a bit more. Or at the very least have a better sense of how it could work. And if he looked it up would understand what was said.

And Papyrus was looking down at his feet, ashamed again. Because this was literally all he had to do yesterday. Just answer her stupid question...

They were silent for a moment...

"I've seen...." She began, but stopped.

No conversation. But Papyrus was curious... and he felt like just this once, he should try to make it up to her. She'd been promised one question and he had refused to answer. And then on top of it he didn't even have an actual answer.

"What?" He encouraged. Though it made her look down. Not encouraged at all..... But still.. She looked back up at the heater.

"I've seen the pipes. In the sewers. I knew where it came from. The pipes and vents- The puzzles."

Right... Right. There were puzzles. To keep out.. her, actually. Specifically to keep out her and other humans.

So much for that it seems.

"But the pipes, when one leaks, its still cold." She continued softly. "So I knew it had to be somewhere else... But it isn't magic. Fully..?" Papyrus squinted at her.

"What do you mean?"

"If it was magic... the hot water wouldn't run out?" That was... "At least... not magic in... not water magic, if that's.. if hot water is a thing you can do... So maybe fire magic.. heating... Or some fuel..." She trailed off, looking down again.

"It sounds like fire." Papyrus admitted. "If you listen, you can hear it turn on." He explained.

And it did. It sounded like fire.

"But..." She squinted at the cylinder.

"It has to be storing hot water inside it too. To have it ready." Papyrus realized where she was going with this.

She did not speak again for a moment.....

"When I saw the steam the first day..... I thought it was going to scold me."

Scold.

Papyrus laughed softly at that, a soft nyeh. He couldn't help it. The image...

But the girl was only lowering her head, he could see her grip on the towel tighten.

"No." He said quickly. "I'm not laughing at that. It's just... The word you want is scald." He was crouching down beside her. "If the water was scolding you, you see... It just.. giving you a strong lecture about manners or something... It was just a bit funny. I wasn't laughing at you."

But he supposed in a way, he still was... Her choice of words.

"I just thought it was going to burn me." She mumbled, not looking up.

Another torture to add on to all the torture they were going to put her through. Have now put her through. Were going to keep putting her through....

Burning water....

"It's an oxymoron I've never considered." Papyrus admitted, trying to... Well... But he could see it backfired anyways. Her fingers still tense. She didn't even know what that word meant. And he should have known better but hadn't thought it through... Papyrus sighed. "Alright, let's go."

He helped her stand. Or maybe.... forced her to stand... Her head still down. And Papyrus hesitated.

"Oxymoron. It's... When you put two ideas that don't go together... together. Two seemingly opposite ideas that shouldn't go together. Like.. Burning water. Living death."

".... Cruel kindness." She whispered. Cruel, twisted, lost kindness....

"Yeah." Papyrus agreed.

Merciful human.

"So... burning water." He repeated. "Because... well..."

"You put fire out with water. And it helps relieve skin-" She stopped, knowing he probably wouldn't know much about that she supposed. Which was true.. but...

Papyrus smiled for her.

"Good girl." He told her. Before immediately realizing his mistake and biting down. The human's head was falling again. Unable to fully hid though as the hair that once protected now just clung to her face, wet.

But Papyrus had not mean to use them patronizingly. It was just almost... habit.

But still he did not apologize. Even though he knows the words are tainted and all his praise does not land and is not going to and he isn't supposed to be even giving her any.

Shit, he is not even supposed to be having this conversation with her.

"Alright." He repeated. Trying to sound stern and meaning it this time. He meant it. And began to lead her back towards the closet. But he hesitated once again once they got there. The human herself looked uneasy... Not wanting to go back in but also not wanting to be out there with him.... "So...." Papyrus began again. Trying not to sound guilty. "That.. That did not count as your question. You still have another question." He told her. She glanced up at him. "Because I did not answer it right away like I should have.. You still have one more question."

She only looked back down. And Papyrus only crowded her farther into the closet... And he didn't at all dare look at her as he shut the closet door.

And locked her in...

Because that had been the plan all along.

No conversation.

And yet.... 10 days. 10 days inside the cramped little space.

Papyrus jumped when he noticed the cat, staring him down at the end of the hall. Its tail twitching, waiting to take up its place at the door again.

Yet another guard to torment her, it seemed...

Humans and Monsters and Annoying Demon Cats of Apparent Evil.

And Papyrus sighed. Locking the door.

But he only had taken to steps down the hall before he realized he was actually heading to his room to try and find her something to wear...

10 days.

She shouldn't have to be in there when he was here to keep an eye on her.

And even if he didn't keep a full eye on her, ignored her.. She couldn't escape. She really could not escape. The collar. The chip in her arm....

The closet.... The closet was just... an extra measure anyways, Papyrus told himself.

She shouldn't have to be in there when he was home all day.

She was a prisoner whether she was in the darkness or no.

And he found a shirt for her, a pair of Sans' sweat pants in the clean laundry he hadn't sorted. All of it too large for her, she would be swimming. But at least, the pants had strings. She could tie it tightly... It would be good enough.

And the cat was at the door again, but it moved without even his say so. Content to let him suffer in the misery of his own making.

Fucking bastard.

And once again, Papyrus was unlocking the door, and.... and... He found himself knocking. To stall, perhaps. As if the unlocking had not been enough of a sign that he was there. But there was no response... and Papyrus..

Papyrus opened the door again, peaking in.

"....." The red eyes were watching him cautiously. "I brought you something to wear."

She shifted her head downwards, hiding half of her face against her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Her eyes looking away from him sadly.

"Just so Sans can take it off..." She murmured. Papyrus paused but....

He can't... He can't deny what is going to happen..

"Leave me alone." She whispered. "Just... I don't need.. your.."

His pity.

His... whatever this was.

Cruel kindness...

He still could not see her, she knew. She was just now some little curious pet. Still not a person. Just some... curious...

Chara buried the rest of her face.

Just some curious pet for him.

Papyrus bent down, putting the clothes on the floor by the door.

"Alright... But if you change your mind." And he stood up... Shutting her into the darkness again. But she could hear. He did not lock the door.

But just like he thought, she knew it too. She can't escape anyways. The collar and chip make sure of it.

The closet just another added layer of cruelness.

And to keep her from breaking things, she assumes. Not trusted, rightly so, to behave.

But him offering her a chance... just another cruel, echo of lost kindness.

If he can't see her..... She doesn't want it. If he just saw her. Even if he still hurt her....

Chara squeezed her knees more tightly. As she sat in the darkness.

The darkness....

The chance at the sun just in front of her.

She took in a deep breath, gathering her courage and determination. Whatever she had left. And crawled forward, opening the door.

Opening the door herself. Not someone else. Her.

But only because someone had let her, she knew....

But there were the clothes and she pulled them into the closet with her. Managing to put them on. Well enough at least to not have them fall though they felt like... she really was swimming in them. Tiny.

Both brothers just... heads bigger than her. But like this, she is also aware of just how thin she has become. How sensitive her skin is to the touch of the fabric.

And she is just swimming in them... Swimming. Swimming but covered. Actually covered. Sensitive skin- And yet... She just feels like a gift again. Something to unwrap.

She swallowed as she opened the door. Hesitating... difficult to breathe.

And it did not help, that as she tried to re-gather her courage, Papyrus reappeared, in the door of his own bedroom. Stopping to stare at her... curiously. Curious...

Chara stepped backwards. Back fully into the closet. Pulling the door shut protectively. As she held the handle tight. Not sure what to do. What she is doing. What he is doing. She doesn't think he really knows what he is doing either....

And on the other side, just...

Silence.

What was he doing?

She can't know. She can just stand there waiting. If he will come back to the closet. Or... She is just standing there. Panicking.. She can't. She can't. She has to get out of the closet. To be able to see her enemy and know.

Chara rested her forehead against the door. Re-gathering courage. Determination.

And she held her breath as she reopened the door and stepped out. Willing to face the danger head on.

And she is out in the hall. No one touching her. And Papyrus is not there though she waits for him to materialize. Or maybe the stupid, demonic cat... But.. She does not know where either of them has gone.

And she is alone. Alone... Alone but trapped. Free from the closet but trapped. Just trapped.

Trapped with nothing.

And nowhere to go. The bedrooms off limits, she knows. And if he is in the kitchen. There is the TV that she doesn't really know how to work or if she is allowed. And-

The computer.

Her mind latches onto it.

The computer.

The computer in Papyrus' room.

The computer.

But he may be in there.

But if he is, just pretend to be suspiciously looking in. On guard.

The computer.

 _Frisk_.

She's walking, trying to keep her gate even. Her breath.

But the bedroom is empty. Empty... And the computer right there in the corner.

She knows... vaguely.. how to use it. Or at least what it is for. It is the thing they use to find things. The one in The Place You Can't Name, he uses it to keep track of all his things. Inventory. You can find things. Lists of things. Papyrus is a Royal Guard! He should have..... access....

She's only hit the on button, the computer coming to life... when she knows.

This is already pointless.

Her heart, hope, falling as her shoulders also fall. And her hand is gripping her wrist. As if she can feel the chip inside her. Somewhere inside her. She knows but can't feel...

But the computer is pointless. Made even more so by the screen in front of her. The demand of. Pa-ss-wor-d. She doesn't know it.

And more importantly... She doesn't know Frisk's number. She doesn't even know... if he has a number. Or if he is just.. dead. If he ever made it out of the hospital. If they even....

Her thumb was pressing painfully into her skin. Tears in her eyes.

She doesn't know his number. The number given to them... stripping them of their names except informally. A name that any 'master' could 'legally' change. Because they aren't people. Just animals.. not even that...

And she doesn't even know the number. If it is close to hers, something different. A different system because they went to different places. Different paths.

If he even lived.

And even if she did have his number... How? Where? She has no clue as to how to use this. Where to go. She can barely read. If she could call it reading...

But she doesn't know his number. She can't find him. Even if she could get in. She can't even find him....

And if he's out there. He's got a collar on like some animal. Chipped too. Collared and chipped like some pet, her brother....

The tears are falling over her cheeks and she can't breathe. Her fingernail digging into the skin of her wrist.

But was that worse than him being dead?

Trapped but alive? She didn't know. She didn't anymore....

Like all those people under Ebott if what they said was really true and it wasn't just some trick.

Trapped but alive...

She's going to die here and still never know... Never know if it was worth it. The answer...

Dead or alive. Trapped. Collared. Tortured? Chained? Forced to work? Forced....

Dead.

And it is all her fault. No matter what the answer. It is all _her_ fault.

" **What** are you doing?" Papyrus' voice demanded as he entered the room.

But he is not like his brother. He can feel it. The attack inside her. The pain, the anger, the _grief_. And the hostility in his own ribcage is gone, surprised at the wave he can feel as she turns around, her fist swinging.

But he is not like his brother.. Blind. At least not to her feelings though he has not been able to understand. Blind to her as a person but not blind to her intent.

He knows her attack is coming. That swinging, useless fist as he catches it. And the human is screaming again. Screaming in apparent agony though he is not even hurting her. Screaming in agony and frustration and pain.

And Papyrus.. Just... Holding her wrists and forcing her firmly towards the ground. Trying to press her down against the floor to keep her from continuing to thrash. Simply holding her. Confining her movement. But not _trying_ to hurt. Intentionally hurt.

Because he can feel it. The grief. The real, true grief. Like when she had been forced to relive her worse memory. With Undyne.

Grief. And guilt. That guilt he has felt from her before.

"Shhh, just- Calm down. Just calm-"

And he just... continued to hold her down against his bedroom floor. As she burnt herself out. Collapsing against the floor. Everything inside of her spent again. And the red eyes staring, broken.. No anger, not even hatred, nothing. Just despair and grief and guilt.... Empty of everything else. Like she had the night they had... Well. The morning before she had tried to kill Sans. The night after he had heard her apologizing... When he had thought they had broken her entirely.

Only for it to really have been her own mind, her own thoughts. Her own... grief.

This grief.

And here he was, now, breathing in, almost.. almost in synch with the human he was holding down. Trying to perhaps somehow... get her to follow his lead. Even as he held her wrists secure. Her secure.

And all he can do is stare at her again. And wonder how? _How_?

Just like he had stared at her then, that morning before he had left for work and Sans had almost died again.

How?

Why?

Why could she just not stop?

It should be impossible for anyone to keep that up.

_"Heh. That's why Undyne is always so worried about you. You just don't get it Paps.. That's the point. That's why they're so dangerous. Just won't fucking die."_

But just... why?

Any Monster would have Fallen Down by now. Any Monster would not be able to even wake up. At least for a short while. Not without something to keep them going. She had nothing. The human had nothing. Unless....

Unless.

Papyrus glanced over to the computer, his magic racing.

"Who..... is it.. you're looking for?" He managed... managed to ask as evenly as possible.

Who was it she was so desperately living for?

It's the only thing he can think of. The only thing. The only thing that would keep _him_ going.

And she's told him once: _Love_. The only thing worth fighting for.

And this feeling... This grief. But not for herself. He can't say that anymore. Rationalize it away. Grief. Real grief for someone else

But the red eyes were closed, her expression pained and her head shaking.

She would never tell him. Never, never, never. If there was even a _chance_ he would tell Sans. Never.

She would never tell him.

"No one.." She whimpered. "No one."

It was very clearly, _not_ no one.

But Papyrus... pretended not to notice.

Because he could see that she very, very, very so desperately wanted him to. Needed him to.

"Alright..." He said. Almost gently... Almost... And he began to pull up on her arms. Helping her stand. Maybe forcing.. her to stand.

And Chara knew. Thought she knew, her head falling. She was going back into the closet again....

Feeling so weighted down.

This grief.

Love and grief..... A human..... Loving and grieving.

Merciful human. A human who could love. And there was no way to deny it anymore....

These complex feelings...

Before he had been uncertain. A trick perhaps, he could still reason. Trick himself into denying that he was in fact the worst. It was just a moment of doubt and confusion- Humans and Monsters. But now... Holding her. Risking it, letting a bit of his healing magic through her, feeling her even more closely even though it still bled. It's not a trick. It's real. She's real. Not a trick.

You can't lie about this much pain.

And Papyrus can feel it. Plain.

Plain as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, keeping her upright even as she kept her head down and refused to look at him. And Papyrus..... He does not understand still. He just does not know what to make of her.

She's everything she isn't supposed to be.

........ It doesn't matter. Humans and Monsters. Monsters and Humans. The enemy. Still the enemy. Doesn't matter just like before. Doesn't.

She still deserved this because she's killed. She's hurt and she's killed-

_Merciful human._

_Humans in corners- you're the ones to put them there-_

He's led her into the hallway. Intent on putting her back in the closet. But at the same time-

He glanced down at the girl, at the top of her lowered head.

Humans and Monsters. The two of them were still in a Fight. He would not Spare. But would not Fight unless he had to... So... So....

And he wanted to just Flee again. Put her in the closet and Flee.

But he didn't. An idiot, he didn't. It was a mistake and he knew it. No conversation. None. Put her in the closet!

But he didn't.

Though he knew it was far from the _correct_ answer.

The correct answer was the put her in the closet and flee. No, the correct answer was to kill her himself and he had already ruined that. So put. her. back. into. the closet. Before something else happens.

She only deserved it. Deserved all of this. Everyone has said it to him. He's said it to himself. Her own Soul and apologies believe it. She deserves to be here. It's what has always been said.

She **had** to deserve to be there. Because if she didn't....

Humans and Monsters.

But she can love, she can love and it is the thing that is hurting her the most and he can feel it and he can't lie to himself and he is finding it really hard to breathe, but...

She had to deserve to be there. She had to. Because if she didn't.... Humans and Monsters.... All the answers to the reason Why, that very same question she wouldn't ask herself... If she's a person, then they don't hold anything.... All his answers to the question Why don't mean anything if she doesn't deserve....

And he can't......

No. No. It doesn't matter she can love. That she's a person. She DOES deserve to be there.

She's gained LOVE. She's hurt and she's killed and- She almost killed **_Sans_**!!!

But each time he thinks that. Reminds himself to that. It just forces him to remember that she also Spared Sans....

That his brother has LOVE too......

And.. humans... humans in a corner.

People in a corner.

But deserves it. Deserves.

She deserved to be here. That's what has always been told.

But... he's always been told that she wasn't supposed to be a person either.

She's a person.

She's an actual person he's holding. Not a loving and grieving human, she's a loving and grieving person, but she has to deserve it because if she **_doesn't_**...

.... She's everything she's not supposed to be.

And he doesn't know what to do with it. He won't Fight. He won't reach for Mercy. He's stuck there with her next to him, as he supports her, standing. Longer than he should have ever allowed. Should have put her in the closet. Flee....

Fight. Mercy.

But...

But those weren't the only options.. if one thought of the bullet boards. Bright yellow buttons.

Everyone has always told him what to do. How to act. And he's listened. Mindlessly listened, to protect them and himself. As everyone else managed this. But now... Ever since she's Spared Sans... More and more he's just been doing everything wrong. The incorrect answers.

If he does the correct answer he feels off, peculiar about it. If he does the incorrect, Mercy, he just.......

He has no clue what it is he is doing anymore. Each time he decides one thing it all goes wrong again and he messes it up. He learns something new. It's a riddle he can't unravel anymore... doesn't even know if he wants to, afraid...

But she's everything she isn't _supposed_ to be. Everything he's been told to be to her is making him feel so...

But he can't trust himself either. He really can't trust....

But what if she doesn't deserve to be here? And he is the one whose brought her here? He's the one whose going let her........

She has to deserve to be here. Because if she doesn't he doesn't know what he is going to do. He just needs one thing. One. To hold on to. To blame her. To make it all fair and an act of justice again. She has to deserve to be here.

 _She_ thinks she deserves to be here.

But that love. That grief.....

Papyrus was leading the girl into the kitchen, blinking back tears before she could ever notice. He couldn't let her notice. At just how much she has her hooks in him least she uses it against him.

-The correct answer still, to kill her, he should kill her, but he can't. He can't anymore. They are way past that point. He has to know. She has to deserve to be here. She thinks she deserves.. That guilt....

But that grief. Guilt and grief. If _Sans_ had died.... If she had killed Sans.... That guilt and grief together... That would have been his own.... And he can feel it deep inside her.

This....

He'd spent so much time thinking, reasoning it all away. Asking how something so similar to him could also be that different? Similar and still not like him because she couldn't love like he could.... And now he can feel it. Now he can't deny it.

And this person....... he knows nothing. He knows nothing about her.... Nothing. Not even if she deserved it...

Stuck in the middle between Fight and Mercy and terrified as he set her down at the island in the kitchen. Letting her go so he could make her a hot cup of tea... Just like Undyne did for him whenever he was upset.

Because he doesn't know. At all. What he was doing.

Stuck between Fight and Mercy but that was not the only options... And maybe.. Maybe it is still Humans and Monsters..

But he... He needed one thing. Just one. One thing to find. To make it worth it again. Justify....

But as he thought it. As the water boiled.

She's said something like that before. One thing. One good thing. In all of this.

And this... was the very least that he could do as he figured it all out.

One simple... maybe good thing.

A warm cup of golden flower tea. A _spider donut_.

Even if she didn't deserve it. And deserved to be here-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking help


	48. No Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I KINDA DID IT AGAIN  
> Cuz I tried writing things and was like Oh no. But Okay.  
> Papyrus is the hardest thing I've ever handled??????????????????  
> But still the point is... I back tracked on Papyrus again. Changed the ending conclusion of the last Papyrus chapter.  
> Because he is just a MESS. And I am a mess. And I was like we were supposed to be here 100k ago why not another 10? Right?!?!?! SAfhjdklahfsjklahfj.  
> You mess.  
> And on top of it all Chara ain't having his shit.

_"Just think of the good things for now."_ The River Person had told her. _"The things to help you feel warm. It simply spirals out of your control if you do not...."_

But even still, Papyrus would not look at her. As she kept her head down, the collar uncomfortably pressed against her neck, even as the cup was hot in her hands pretending to promise comfort. She dared not take it. Not daring the donut either..

Because she's thought it was too far gone for that. All the good things hurt. The tea. The donut. The memories. Hurt.

And they were well past spiraling....

All the good things hurting. All the kind things cruel.

And she is staring at the mug of tea in her hand... Staring at it.. Just wanting to go back to her closet and curl up in a little ball in her blankets... And she is staring as Papyrus began to pull things out of the fridge, a recipe in mind. A distraction-

And Chara.... Chara released the mug's handle but began to push it gently to the side. To the side and _off_ the side. And all there is, is a shattering sound that she can't bring herself to look after. To see her handiwork in full.

And Papyrus....

The Monster stopped, literally almost collapsing against the island. A hand pressed up to his forehead in... clear... exasperation? Frustration? Perhaps it isn't so clear.

He did not know what he was doing....

But the motion.. The action.... The way he doesn't even say anything.

Chara can't help but laugh. And laugh. Laugh.

It isn't funny.

None of this is funny.

There are obvious tears in her voice.

But if he... Then she... Then....

Chara can't even finish the thought. Just burying her face in her arms again. Silently hoping he'll just let her go back into the closet.... To hide.

She just wants to hide...

Maybe the darkness will just finally consume her and she can be done.....

She just wants to be done.

But he doesn't put her back in the closet. And she can hear him. Picking up the pieces of the mug. The cat by her feet, lapping at the tea.

But he's the one who'd said: no conversation. The one who has been ignoring her. Fleeing each time. And she'd been content, as long as she had been left _alone_.

She does not understand.

Why?

Not knowing that was the very same question Papyrus was daring to ask himself. For once in his life, not mindlessly making a decision. The correct decision. He couldn't keep doing that.... Though he didn't know what he was supposed to do instead.

But....

Papyrus was lifting himself up, holding the shattered pieces in his hands, to throw them away. And he just stared at the girl a moment. Her face buried in her arms.

She wants to be left alone.. but she does not want to be _alone_.

And he thinks it without really thinking. The thought just slipping. An echo of a thought from someone he used to be.

She desperately needed a friend.

But instinctually, he crushes it. That dangerous thought. He was not that little boy anymore. The one who offered things mindlessly to people. But..... Mindlessly following other people's leads who he'd believed had known better hadn't gotten him very far either. To being this man... he didn't think he wanted to be.

And yet-

Humans... and Monsters...And she deserves it still. Deserves it...

She has to.

Deserve it.

Humans... and Monsters...

He threw the shattered pieces of mug away and went back to getting out all the things he needed. And the girl kept her head down as Papyrus cut up the carrots and potatoes. As he set up the crock pot and put the roast in. Being extra careful this time because last time it had been way too dry. The taste just off.... Edible but not entirely good.

And they didn't speak as he did all of it. Didn't speak. At all. Though both were very, very conscious and aware of the other's presence. And the girl, she would peak over occasionally. Watching him.

Watching him cut, noting the lack of knife but the use of magic... Not that it would have mattered had she gotten her hand on a knife anyways anymore...

But also just... Watching. How his boney fingers moved. But at the same time remembering all the times he's touched her. Manipulated her. Hurt her and held her down. Held her down- Forcing her hand around his-

And she would flinch. Bury her face. Only to be alarmed at something he was doing. That she could hear but couldn't see. And she would lift her face back up out of her arms. Keeping her head down but her eyes drawn to the motions he was making.

There was something sick deep in her stomach. Just unable to look away, her lingering caution demanding she knew what he was doing at all times. To not be caught off guard.

Though she really just wanted to rebury her face. To hide away more. Away from his working, moving, skeletal, hands.

Her thumb was tracing over the mark on her wrist that her nail had made. Conscious of it too. The deep indent of it. Only making her sick, too.

All of it sick. And she didn't know what he was doing.

 _He_ didn't know what he was doing. Except preparing a hopefully decent meal... But he wondered how it would turn out because he knew he was just distracted by her red eyes and too aware.

Even as they didn't speak. Or perhaps that just made it worse.

And he got the device set up, readying it. It would be ready by the time Sans got home. Whenever that was.

Dinner.

But there was still lunch for himself.... For her, too. And there was a desert he'd bought ingredients for and he did technically have the time... To mess it up.

Baking was even worse than cooking. He'd probably settle for the box cake he'd also bought.

Papyrus glanced over towards the island, to the spider donut the girl just had not touched.

Though she hadn't slapped it over the side like the tea he'd offered.

The girl looked down, noting his glance over in her direction. Her thumb pressing into her wrist and the indent that wouldn't go away because she just would not let it be. Renewing it on occasion with her nail.

Papyrus sighed and washed his hands... And he hesitated. Staring out the window. Towards the mountain in the distance..

The sun was already high in the sky but still the memory of it.... Of that first morning. Her heaving, trying to get everything they had forced her to swallow out of her system. Her heaving and broken and wanting to sob. His hand in her hair, as if to comfort though it was mostly just to mock. False pity-

Only for her to lift her head.... The sun.

_"It's still there...."_

That clear, vulnerable moment.. The sun.

And its a mistake. A very big mistake, but he can't help it. He already thought it. But this was a mistake. He was trying to convince himself she deserved it, she deserved- And yet.....

..... "When you first came here...." Papyrus began, his back still towards her.... "How long had it been? Since you'd seen the sun?"

Remembering even, in the car, with her blindfold. Leaning up against the he glass and he had thought she'd been trying to see so she could plot. Plan. But that hadn't been it, had it? It was the sun... Feeling it. Yet unable to still see it....

The girl only buried her face farther into her arms.

"I'm the one with the question." She stated weakly. Papyrus glanced back towards her.. "And besides... You're the one who said it." She whispered. "No conversation."

Her face half hidden, her red eyes off to the side, to the bare wall.

Papyrus' shoulders fell.

She was right of course. In all of it.

But still.... That had been before.

Now.....

Papyrus came back over towards her. Standing on the other side of the island to give both of them space. As he thought..... Trying to remember... How that boy he used to be had done it so easily. Just.. talked. Engaged. Opened up.

"H-How about..." He began and the red eye he could see, the one not hidden by her arms. It came back to him. Watching cautious. So cautiously. "How about.. we take.. turns?"

But all he can think of when he says it is about how he and Sans have... Just the first night even, taking turns.... Like she was an object and not a struggling _person_ against them- And he didn't even stop to think about... anything..

"Like...T-The Board- We can take turns. One question from you. One question from me." He forced himself to finish.

_Forcing her to finish-_

She paused... He could see the hesitation in her eye. The way he had surprised her... This totally unexpected...

Because she was just... A curiosity. Just a curiosity to him, she thought. But to make it back and forth. Evening the feild somehow... An even Fight.

She glanced away again though.

"Why?" She whispered. "Why are you doing this?"

"So now... You're asking why." Papyrus states.

"No... Why? This? Why are you doing this? Now. Me.. out here."

"..... I don't.... know." He just did not know what he was doing....

The girls arms tightened around her.

"You still can't see me..." She mumbled.

And Papyrus... Was not sure what that should mean.

"Well I just thought you would prefer it to being stuffed back into the closet, okay?!" He snapped. He knew it was unfair of him to snap. Just his own frustration in disguise. "You should be grateful."

"Right.... Grateful."

The defeated way she said it though.

The anger was easing out if him. Just replaced again with shame. And he almost... deflated. Putting his hands against the top of the island as he lowered his head.

What was he doing?

"I'm..." He stopped.

He couldn't apologize. But...

"I just don't know what to make of you." He admitted, his voice soft. Just as defeated. She... The girl began to reemerge from her arms. Glancing up at him again. Papyrus lowered his own gaze now though. "You're everything you're not supposed to be... And I don't know what to make of you.... Everything I've ever known.... It's... It's all to pieces.."

Like that stupid... stupid mug.

And he just can't look at her. The girl was lifting up in her seat. Her head fallen and her hands in her lap.

"..... They say the same things." She said. Somehow finding just enough determination to speak. "In the camps. The valley. They say the same things. About all of you. But most of us.. don't have the luxury to believe it....... Even if we keep saying it... Just to make it true."

There was silence.... Just.... silence.

Until he gathered his courage just a bit..... Trying to keep up this momentum between them.. if he could. Knowing that the boy he used to be would have done it. Opened up. To help her open up. To-

"...When we were younger. My brother. And I." He began. Starting with the most important thing he has. The start of it all. "We grew up in a group home with other monster children who had lost their families... We had... Basically nothing but each other."

But... Hot water, her simple surprise at it... It just wasn't true compared to her, was it? This human. They still had a roof and a bed and hot water and warm food and...

"Well. My brother would always say. We would get out of there. Grow up. He'd be strong and powerful to protect us. We'd have a house and our own beds- though we would both honestly be fine still sharing like we always have- but... A house. Beds. I could just cook. And we'd have friends. And each other."

Papyrus' magic was racing. Racing.... And the human. She was cautiously watching at first but now she was looking away again. Her own heart racing. Not understanding. What any of this meant.

"I would have been happy just being with my brother. But it was his dream...."

Dream.

She hates the sound of the word in his voice.

"I don't care." She mumbled. And she really didn't. It just hurt. Hurt so much. Her brother.... "I told you... I don't need all your excuses as to.. why. I told you I wasn't asking why to that. And.. I heard enough of this excuse from Sans." Papyrus stared-

What?

Oh.... Oh wait, right.

She's heard this before. From Sans.

As she had cried. As they had both forced themselves inside her.... Or Papyrus had.. been preparing to...

As Sans had held and told her she was special. The final piece to that dream. But...... No.

No.

"A human... was never a part of that dream." Papyrus admitted. She dared to glance over. The single red eye he could see, not hidden, now by her hair. It was cautious still. So very cautious. "Doing this.... was never actually a part of that dream."

But somehow.... That was where the brothers had let it go to.

And he supposed. To Sans. No, not just to Sans. He couldn't just say Sans... Separate himself from any of it.

A human was never a part of that dream. But it was a natural jump to it. LV required killing. Killing humans.

But this. What they have _done_ to her.

"Getting you..." His magic was racing, just racing... Everything difficult to say. "That only came.... A week before. He'd gotten a promotion, you see. We were finally.... There. But then he said.. something. Just an interest. And I.. well..." He sighed. "I had just gotten so caught up in always helping Sans reach his dream. Never doing anything really for myself. Never thinking it all through other than: Does this make my brother happy? And I... Going to the prison..."

He doesn't know what he's doing. Doesn't know why. Just keeping his head down and not looking at her. And she is just keeping her head turned to the side. Sitting there in her chair not caring still about any excuses he could offer. That wasn't even his point- There were no excuses-

But...

Papyrus sighed again, defeated.

"Maybe... I get what you mean.. about not being able to see you. Because before.... All I could see was my brother. It's always been about my brother. It's still... About my brother. But... But I just don't... Know what to make of you. Everything they told me..."

He just could not dare to look at her.

"No. I can't see you." He lied.

But he can.

He has.

Since the moment she Spared his brother.

Because she Spared his brother. His brother....

He had caught a glimpse of her. Just not.... Clearly. Everything. Blurred. Jumbled. And slowly. Just slowly. He has been breaking himself down. Himself.

Just like she had broken herself with her own thoughts and grief, Papyrus was doing all her work for her. And now all he had left to cling to... Her deserving it. She had to deserve it.

But how long??? Could that last?

Especially, since he knew. The smart thing to hold on to that idea would be to put her in the closet. No conversation. But he....

He's an idiot.

"I just thought you'd prefer this than being in the closet for who knew how long " He sighed.

She did not respond.

"Would you just prefer to go back into the closet?"

"Yes." She whispered, her head still fallen. Papyrus paused. Surprised by the answer. And something inside him flinched in pain.

"I won't.. stop you." He whispered back, looking down as well. "But... Let's feed you first. Is that acceptable? Even if it isn't the spider donut. Do you not like chocolate?"

"I was the one with the question." She told him still. "That was my question before. I didn't agree to taking turns."

Papyrus bit down harder but.... It was still true.

"Alright." He said gently. "But can I at least ask what type of sub you'd prefer? Or is that too much?"

She did not respond. Only putting her head down against the surface of the island. Her face in her arms.

Papyrus sighed. And began pulling out lunch meat and other toppings.. At a loss as to what to do.

Knowing he shouldn't be wanting to do anything. That she was simply doing what he should have done to begin with. The correct thing.

The human... was doing the correct thing.

Humans and Monsters.

And he put together the sandwiches, wanting to ask her again what she wanted but knew he'd get nothing-

"Wh-What.. What month is it?" She whispered. He stared. Technically.. she had no questions left.

"March." He said though. The girl's fingers were spread, he could see... Her trying to do the math. But..

She couldn't remember.. all of the months. It was never important. Just the season. The weather. When to move.

It wasn't even the most basic of math that was tripping her. It was the months.

She grit her teeth in frustration. Her fingers curling together.

"How far apart is that... from September?" Papyrus tilted his head.

"Six." The girl's eyes widened. He could see the real panic in her half hidden face.

Six.

Half a year.

It's been half a year.

Frisk...

"Six." She repeated back to him. "It was six months I didn't see the sun."

Or Frisk.

It could still be even longer. Forever. For Frisk.

The tears stung in her eyes, the pain real again. Deep and stabbing through her.

It could be six months that her brother's been dead.

Six.

It had all run together in the prison. Feeling like an eternity. She hadn't really expected it to have actually been that long.

And Papyrus can feel it. See it in her expression. The grief and guilt returning.

And he doesn't say anything... Only finishing putting mayo on her sub.

"Here." He stated. Sliding the plate over. But the girl had a hand in her hair. Her teeth grit as she tried not to cry. Not to fall apart.

And he can't do anything to comfort her. He's ruined it all. Can't speak to her because it will only feel mocking. And he's the source of more than half of her problems and all the others that he's not he can't help her with either. He can't even touch her, he's more than ruined that. She won't even look at him and she'd rather be stuffed in some dark closet despite everything she's already been through than be in the same room as him.

"I'll be in the other room." He said after sliding her over a drink. He took his own plate and drink and made his way to the table. And ate, staring out across the living room. The cat was there on the couch, content and asleep.

Once Papyrus was done, he stayed there. Not knowing what to do. Lifting up his hood over his head as he hunched over, hiding inside the heavy, fake fur. Not daring to go back into the kitchen and not knowing what else to do.

He knows even less when the girl appeared, standing in the wide open archway. Her thumb still trailing over her wrist, her head down. Waiting. Expectant. And he realizes she's waiting for him to put her in the closet. Actually put her there and lock her in.

Ten days in the closet.

Six months without the sun.

This was a mistake.... He'd known it was a mistake... He should have never spoken to her.

And she's just _standing_ there. Waiting for him to grab her and put her into the closet. Right after everything she just said.

"I said.. I wouldn't stop you." Papyrus said, looking down at the surface of the table. "I didn't say I'd put you there."

And he doesn't expect it. Expect her to actually take that step forward, angling her body in that direction. There was a pulse of magic in his ribcage as he lifted his head. Watching her, her head still down but-

"Chara, wait!" He called.

She froze, her back tense, and she was simply frozen in the middle of the living room. Her breathing quick.

"..... You..." He doesn't know what he's doing, but... He stood up, coming closer to her. And she flinched. He stopped again, caught at the edge of the table and staring at her, the shame still very much there in his ribcage and he hesitated... Not knowing what he was doing.

The fact that the correct answer is to put her in the closet and the thought just makes him sick.

"You don't have to go, you can just... you can stay in the living room. We can.. turn on the t.v. or something for you. I'll just.. stay in the kitchen.. You don't have to go back in there..."

But she was slipping away again, not looking back. Slowly at first, cautious that he'll do something. But then faster as she made it closer to the hall. Just slipping away quickly, not looking at him, fleeing from him. Into the hallway and around the corner and Papyrus could hear with sickening clarity the closet door shutting. The girl hiding and wanting nothing to do with him.

And he knows she has no reason to.

He's... He's taken so much from her. They all have. And he doesn't know what to do. In the past, that boy he's been, if he remembers correctly.. He would have offered a tiny piece of himself. When you couldn't get the other to open up you had to show you were willing too. But Papyrus.... Just didn't know what to do. He's already tried that a bit....

But he thinks it again: She desperately needed a friend.

And this time, he doesn't just crush it.

She needed a friend.

Papyrus went out into the hallway, getting closer to the closet. But he stops again. Close enough now to hear her crying again. Falling apart like she had wanted to in the kitchen. The darkness giving her the chance to in its own sick way.

And he can't do it. He can't get any closer. Because what is he going to do to comfort her? And he slowly backed away, hoping she couldn't hear him. That she hadn't even noticed. And he left her alone just like she wanted him to.

She doesn't want anything to do with him and she has no reason to want to have anything to do with him. He doesn't deserve to have her want anything to do with him. He has done _more_ than just hurt her. And there is nothing he can do to fix that. Comfort or anything. You can't heal-

You can't....

Papyrus stopped in the middle of the living room, lifting a hand as he struggled to breathe. Staring at his own fingers, letting the healing magic flow through them. The bleeding, hurt.

You can't heal someone... when you're the one hurting them.

........ He's not even supposed to want to...... She deserves....

And when he flees into the kitchen, tears he is fighting at the edge of his own eye sockets, his Soul sinks just a little bit farther even because her sub isn't even finished. Barely even half.

The spider donut sitting there useless....


	49. Between Fight Between Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay Determined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just make sure you got everything that came before this because I like... discovered you can change chapter orders but at the same time I thought I hit cancel on that, going to do that later.  
> Apparently I did not. So. No Conversation got moved and I didn't realize I Actually did that.  
> Sorry.  
> This chapter may get changed locations later too??????????? Idk anymore. We're spending more time here than I thought. Alright.

_"Wait! W-Woah, wait! Not here to Fight!" The Monster managed, twisting in the air. At her Mercy-_

_And Chara froze._

_No! No, she could not freeze! Strike! Don't hesitate!_

_That dark thing deep inside her desperate: Kill!_

_But she was frozen._

_She did not want to._

_She's scared....._

_Drawn. By the darkness..._

"Chara?" Frisk's voice is so clear and she gasps. Her heart is racing as she glances over her shoulder as he came closer.

No. No, no, no, no...

But Frisk is there. Coming to a stop. His expression falling and his face terrified as he stares at the Monster in the trap. And his gold eyes are glancing over to her, concerned... More than concerned. Guilty even, heartbroken....

The universe having proven Chara right and Frisk wrong, the Monster having tracked them. Hunted them. Just like she said it would. Even after everything she had told it-

"Wait!" The Monster said again. "Don't make that look just yet, just listen for a sec, okay? I'm not here to Fight!" It repeated. And Chara's eyes were back on it. As Frisk drew closer to her side. Standing close, next to her. Both of them watching the trapped Monster hesitantly.

"Then what else could you be here for?!" Chara snapped. Struggling to breathe.

That thing inside her wants to kill it already, just kill it. Be done with it and the risk to Frisk- both of them.

"I......" It was still as it could be in the trap. It's expression.... "I don't know." It said.. and Chara thinks... honestly.

But its a trick. It has to be a trick.

"I... Please just let me down." It asks.

"No." Chara stated sternly. Her grip on the dagger tight. And she wants to wrap an arm around Frisk but she has to be ready to strike. Strike for both of them.

But the Monster... was sighing. And Chara jumped back, pushing Frisk back with an arm as the Monster's leg grew longer, letting the Monster rest against the ground.

"I guess this is it, then." It said, its face almost straight. "The day I have to gnaw off my own leg."

And it mocked struggled to curl in on itself, pretending to gnaw at its own leg. Pretending. Exaggerating the sound.

And Chara.... Chara faltered. Staring at it like it was insane- Frisk got closer to her. Both of them just... staring... Uncertain. Tense.

The Monster stopped pretending and uncurled, back to being stuck on its back and looking up at them.

"Nah it's too much work." It stated, flippantly..

" _Nah_ it's too much work?" Frisk repeated. Stressing the word.

Gnaw.

The Monster stared at him, and Chara glanced Frisk's way. Still breathing in with difficulty and she shook her head slightly. Not sure of what to make of what had just come out of his mouth. What the Monster had done. Just- But when she looked back to the Monster, it met her gaze. Completely, seemingly, serious.

"You know what just kill me." It stated. Chara flinched. Frisk came closer, touching her elbow. To ground her. And the Monster lifted its two front paws.

"It was just a joke!" He- It stated quick. "Sorry!! But... seriously... Let me down?"

"No." She stated forcefully.

But she's just so scared. She doesn't want to do this. To feed that thing inside of her. Like a dark sickness and she doesn't want to kill. Why couldn't it have just let them be?

She realized she was about to cry. The tears there in the back of her eyes.

"You couldn't have just left us alone!" She said brokenly. "You couldn't have just let us leave and be alone!"

"Chara..." It's all Frisk has. Her name. And he wants to do more, but Chara is just shaking. Not ready to do any of this and yet knowing she has to now.

They just set up. They just got set up and settled in and she thought it would be okay for awhile. Safer even if not safe and it just had to follow them. If they left, it would just follow them. She had to kill it!

And it isn't even actually trapped, she knows.

"Just get yourself out with your own bullet and let's get this over with." The Fight...... She will at least give it a fair Fight even though its not fair to begin with!! That it followed them! Not fair. It's just not fair.

She held out her dagger. Ready.

Not ready......

Never going to be ready.

"I mean I could get myself down. But how about we compromise? Untie me so I don't ruin your snare? Win win, right? I just... want to talk."

"And I told you! I told you just to leave us alone!" Frisk glanced back towards her, curious but not speaking... "I told you that I would kill you! And I am not going to back down!"

The Monster was cringing.

"Just... look..." It began. "I.... I know LOVE. That sickness you talked about. And I... It's just.... Maybe I was a bit worried, okay?! Well not.. _worried_ worried. I can't exactly do that.. anymore... It's just.."

Chara's eyes were narrow, trying to be threatening at its rambling. It sighed again. But she can tell... It's been going over this in its head all day and it still isn't working out.

"Look... I know LOVE." It began again from the beginning. "And The River Person.. he ain't going to be around for awhile. Just the way it goes."

So she was right.... He was asleep.

"And I just... I know LOVE. That sickness. And I have a hard time with love anymore. The other kind. It's just... jumbled. But it seems like everyone is kinda like that nowadays. And I just.. I don't know. I don't know why I came out here, okay?!" It said in frustration. "It wasn't even EASY to come out here. A lot of work for something I don't even know about and it's stupid, okay?! And just..."

"Why don't we talk and eat?" Frisk jumped in. Chara turned towards him, staring like he was insane. The Monster tilted its head too. Staring....

".... Do you have anymore smoked fish?"

"We are **not** -!" Chara began to snap, but she cut it off. Biting her tongue. Staring down at the ground. Her chest heaving. Not wanting to snap.

It's a trick. It's a trick. Really a trick and going to get them hurt.... She needed to kill it. Fight and kill it. She closed her eyes, pressing the hilt of the dagger against her forehead with both hands as the pain in her chest worked through her.

She doesn't want to kill again. She never actually wanted to kill, just tired. She's just tired. So tired.

And she has to kill it. She has to. It's just going to get them hurt.

"Chara..." Frisk's voice is soft, caring... "It's going to be okay."

And her eyes are still closed when Frisk leaves her side. Chara jumped, red eyes opening wide, as Frisk drew closer to the snare.

"Frisk-!" But he is already untying the snare and Chara is staring, tears in her eyes.

Its the fire all over again.

"You really _are_ an idiot." The Monster stated. And in that moment Chara's heart stopped. The dread in her stomach. Expecting its attack.

But it doesn't.

Its only letting its hind leg shrink and turning over. Shaking out its fur.

"So.. fish?" It asks hopefully. As if it is all normal. Normal conversation. Supper and a conversation.

And yet, she catches a glance in her direction. It's black eyes meeting hers, not so casual about all of this as it was making out to be... but cautious. Cautious. All it was doing.... trying to ease the tension.

And it is just making everything worse. And Chara made the Monster walk first, in front of them. Pointing her dagger in the direction. And her heart was racing.

But Frisk was close, leaning in.

"Sorry..." He told her in a whisper. Knowing he had scared her again. "But I have my guard up. Promise. But if he really wanted to just kill us he would have ambushed us earlier. And.. I just.. We weren't getting anywhere like that."

And she hated it... hated how he was right. But at the same time... relieved. Staring at Frisk... at her brother.

Thankful that in all the things she's done wrong, she did one thing right. That spark inside him she couldn't bring herself to kill.... even though it made her worry so much at all times. But it was still there. There. Inside him. Guided with his increasingly level head. And it was the only thing keeping her together... the darkness wanting to consume her at bay.

* * *

 

She was surrounded by darkness......

And she couldn't stop crying. Always just crying.

She was going to die crying.

Useless... Useless. It's all useless. Scared. Useless. You useless child crying again. Useless and can't do anything and its all wrong and you've ruined everything and your brother is dead and your best friend is- You hope they hate you. That they all hate you- You are going to die here, crying, and no one is going to care.

And you can't...

You just... can't.

Useless...

Everything is useless........

Useless in her dark closet with the blanket over her head, crying to herself.

The darkness sickly safe and comfortable. Safe enough to allow herself to cry alone. Letting herself fall apart and slip. Scared. And everything still very unknown.

And she just cried. Letting herself come more and more apart.

And more darkness.... Her mind... slipping into darkness again as she cried herself to sleep. Some relief in the unconsciousness....

And yet- When she woke up, disoriented and unable to focus right away. She knew she had dreamed again. A dreamish memory.

And she felt so heavy. Sore and her head hurt. Heart hurt. Laying there in the darkness... Her fingers curling together tightly.

She's tired.

She's hurt and she's tired.

The darkness comfortable.... in its awful way...

And yet, the air is warm and smells sweet. And she's so hungry....

And on top of it all...

Her fists were tight and she was curled in tightly around herself. The red eyes wide open and staring towards the light beneath the door.

She had no clue what was going on out there again. Not a clue.....

And she stayed laying down, knowing she could get up and open the door and leave. But too afraid. Too uncertain. Everything unknown.

She didn't know what she was doing. What he was doing. _He_ didn't even know what he was doing. And it was awful and frightening and uncertain and she had just woken up but her heart was already racing. Just woken up and yet still so afraid again.

And yet.

And yet........

Somehow. Whenever she was on the brink of falling apart for good. For not being able to pick herself back up. It was like a reminder in the pulse of her own Soul:

You cannot give up just yet.

Stay... determined.

She wasn't dead just yet.

And she doesn't know what she's doing. What he is doing... But at the same time...

She's been here before, hasn't she? An enemy beside her, with both of them not knowing what the other was doing. What they were doing themselves... She's been in a situation like this before.

Her hand is on the handle of the closet and yet, she's panicking. Breathing in with difficulty.

No. No, she can't lie to herself. Convince herself.

It's not the same. It's not even that similar. It is just not the same and she can't convince herself!!

Her forehead was on the back of the door, still so difficult to breathe and her head was pounding.

It's not the same. Not similar, even. It is not similar.

All she can remember looking at him is how he's manipulated her. Touched her. Used her. The pain stabbing through her and the forced betrayal of her own body.... As they used her... Held her down like she was nothing-

Her eyes were closed and she could see his face, curious and not seeing her even as she begged him with her eyes, her soul. Begged and begged and cried and it did not matter. He couldn't see her even as he watched her face.

And he _still_ cannot see.

....... Chara kept her forehead pressed to the door, eyes closed, struggling to breathe. But at the same time.....

She doesn't think that is fully true.

It's nagging at her.

Because if she was still just a curiosity. A pet....

He wouldn't have given her the option to flee. To make her own choice in any of this....

And his first real question towards her.... would not have been about the sun.

He called her name.

And the Bullet Board, she's felt his own intent.

He can see her... in some unfocused way at the least. Because it is very clear that he can at least see himself.

She is not a pet. She is a prisoner. A person and he is aware of it. He knows his position in all of this now... And last night he'd showed her in the Bullet Board he had planned to keep it that way.. Though he would no longer go out of his way to hurt-

And this morning he had seemed to be keeping it simple, prisoner and guard, No Conversation, even as he continuously failed at his own cruelty.

But now....

Something changed. She'd swung at him, attacked, and he had _not_ put her back into the closet.... And she had thought he was just keeping her close. A pet. Just a pet... But its not quite like that..... The question, her name, giving her a choice....

And she **hates** it.

Hates it.

Finally taking a moment. Having just a moment to herself in the darkness....

.... He means to mean this. What he is doing. Even if he doesn't even notice it himself yet.

He really meant it when he said he didn't know.

She didn't know why she Spared Sans at first, and he didn't know why... he was trying to do this. The water heater, the clothes, not putting her back into the closet.

And she thinks...

...... He's not going to hurt her.

At least go out of his way to hurt her.

Though he won't go any farther than that. Just like he said in the Bullet Board.

He's not going to hurt her if he doesn't have to....

She felt it in his intent.

He's not going to hurt her.

Even if he didn't know why and what to make of her. She didn't know why or what to make of him.

She hates not knowing.

She hates the unknown in front of her. Always the unknown.

She hates him.

If she could, she would run.

She had run. That was the closet. Run and hide.

Darkness.....

But the darkness, she knew. She knew the darkness. That was why it was comfortable. Even as it was her deepest fear. Because it was comfortable. Because it was _easy_.

Fighting is easier than Sparing. But the consequences are too high a cost to pay. And it just keeps going and going.

It's just going to keep going and going if she stays in the closet.

And maybe it still will if she leaves. Actually, she's still sure that it will.

But if he is going to keep acting like this..... If either of them are going to figure out how this is going to work-

 _Decide_ how this is going to work.

Because that is the part she can't understand the most. Him giving her a choice in how this was going to work.

This weird place between Fight and Spare.....

She's going to have to leave the closet.

She's going to have to leave it....

Just the thought makes her breathing pick up.

She could just... _stay_ in the closet. Both of them separated from each other. He's already made it clear that he will let her do that.

And its weird, its weird, it is so weird. She's confused. Doesn't know what he is doing, what she is doing.

And he is _not_ Temmie. This is nothing like Temmie.

That had been an even fight. Half of it her fault, half of it his.

But this... _This_...

He's **raped** her. He's used her. Used her and raped her and tortured her and just-!

And neither brother had even _considered_ her as they did it. Hadn't even considered it _rape_. And they had used her like a toy. Over and over. Touching her, raping her. With his brother. Laughing at her with his brother as he's done it.

And Chara couldn't breathe and the tears were in her eyes again as she screwed them shut and put her face in her hands as she sat in the darkness.

It's not fair.

It's not fair that these are her choices.

The closet or her rapist. One of her potential executioners.

........ He's not going to hurt her. He's not going to...

But the closet or her rapist. It isn't fair....

But... its not the only choice. He made that clear too. Out of the closet and in separate rooms. He offered it.

But three choices.

It's not fair.

She hates him.

She hates him. She really, really hates him. Hates him and Sans and maybe him more than Sans because she thinks if it had been him she had attacked. Had almost killed and gotten to 1 HP. She doesn't think she would have stopped. She thinks she would have actually killed him. Killed him and taken everything from Sans and given him what he had deserved. She would not have stopped.

He's someone who had a choice. He didn't have to **_be_** this way!

The ones who could have naturally been kind are the worst. She hates them beyond everything else. People like Sans and Undyne know what they are. Accept it. Transforming: heartless, hollow, cruel, beings.

Then there are the Alphyses with zero nerve. The lying cowards who hate themselves for lying. Who let the lie grow so big it consumes then. But at least they are honest with themselves even as they lie to everyone else. At least they have the decency to hate themselves for it.

And then there are the Papyruses.

The worst ones. The worst.

The ones who were once like Frisk and let other people change them or changed themselves. Changed for other people. Believing it all. Brainless fools. Brainless, mindless fools.

Who sell their hearts. Who lose their nerve. And she hates them most of all.

She hates him. This isn't fair. This kindness cruel.

Twisted, cruel, lost kindness and it isn't fair.

And the worst part is.... she knows he wants it to be true. He actually wants to be kind to her in some sick way and she hates it, hates, hates, hates it.

She'd thought.... that all she wanted was to be seen. To have him at least see her for what she was! The position she was it. To understand it..... Even if he still stayed cruel about it. Cruel to her.

As long as he was honest about it. Finally honest. To himself and to her.

Last night. In the Bullet Board. She would have been okay with it. It had made _sense_ to her. Fight but letting it just pass them by. Ignoring her. That had been more than she had anticipated, even. More! She understood it....

Just let her stay in the closet and be left alone.....

Not **this**.

She doesn't know what to do with it or make of it.

With both of them not knowing what they were doing....

He was just trying to rape her.... yesterday. Trying to make his _cruelness_ true... Prove to himself that he could still mean it. She'd seen it. When he had opened the closet door and had grabbed her. So desperate to convince himself he wasn't breaking. He wasn't remembering. Wasn't starting to realize it...

But he still would have raped her. Raped her and maybe killed her.

But she thinks.... he's seen too much of her, though he says he can't and perhaps its still true. But he's seen to much of her.

He would have _regretted_ it.

........ If she hadn't used the Bullet Board, he would have raped her again and he would have regretted it.

Her grip on the handle of the closet tightened and she felt sick.

She didn't care.

She didn't care!

It wasn't **fair**.

She hates him....

But if it was going to stay like this... Somewhere between Fight and Mercy... Then.....

She should at least try to get something out of it.

She was well past spiraling...... but.....

Her heart was racing, racing. Fear and yet anger.

And she gathered her determination.

Don't give up. A soft chant and song, borrowed, in her Soul and yet anger under her breath that was her own.

As she turned the handle of the closet.

"Big kids..." She breathed. "Don't cry-!"

And when they do, they get back up.

"Don't give up..."

As she stepped into the hall.

Standing in the light with her pulse quick and breath quicker. Her fists tight.

And the house smells heavenly, her body aching with hunger. But still she is focused. Determined. She has to stay determined.

Words from a King who shouldn't have been able to see her, just like the rest of them. Words and comfort from a King.... And she briefly wonders once again....

And she stood there in the hallway, at the entrance of the living room... Daring.. Daring, just daring though she knew she promised not to again. Not after what had happened with Temmie. That she had lost the right. But still she dared....

"Miss..." She breathed and she could feel something, weak, inside her chest.. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that one, just yet. It was in her chest but she let it go. Too much to handle at one time.

But still.... Stay determined. Stay....

"Stay..."

Just.. keep.. moving.

Cautious, walking across the floor like it was ice, ready to break beneath her feet. As she moved through the living room- the cat gone- As she approached the kitchen. Zeroing in. Her head throbbing.

And Papyrus is already looking up when she appears. Standing still, frozen in the archway, her heart quick and her breath quicker. Her fist tight.

And Papyrus can feel her, had felt her the moment she had entered the living room and he has stayed just as frozen, waiting. And the red eyes are staring directly at him. At least for a moment. Before she glances down. Her lips pressed and her stomach twisting, her heart racing. But standing there. Determined.

She... has nothing else left to do anyways. But stay in her closet or face this danger head on. She has no control. Never the one in control. Except deciding what it means to be standing there. Stuck between Fight and Mercy.

Her eyes darted around the kitchen, to keep herself distracted from him for just a moment longer. He's.... been... busy.

There is a cake, she thinks, on the stove. A can of store bought frosting waiting for it to be cool enough.

There is a large pot of something else. It looks like rice of some sort. Mixed in with other things. She doesn't know.

And he doesn't seem done yet either, large metal tin trays gathered in a pile on the island. Ready to make something else.

Another distraction, she realizes. He's been distracting himself with it all. From it all and from her.

And the red eyes made their way back to him, hesitantly, cautiously, meeting his darkened eye sockets. Her heart racing... Racing...

"I may..." He began.. "I may have gone a little... overboard."

But it had been a distraction. Something to do. Just do.

And there was silence. As Chara struggled to keep breathing. To not just run away.

"Are you... hungry?" He asked when she didn't speak. Didn't move. Both not sure what to do. "If you go sit down at the table.. I'll.."

And Chara's shaking. Her breathing still so quick. Heart racing... But she dared to step deeper into the kitchen. The skeleton froze again. Both of them just tense. Incredibly tense. Chara gathering her determination. Clinging to the determination and perhaps that bit of anger to help make it easier. And she took another step. Intent on making it to the island. To sit down- She just takes another step.

"You don't-" You don't have to force yourself, he wants to say. She can hear it in his tone already. But she is at the chair, sitting down. Determined. And the skeleton was staring at her. Not sure of what to make of her once again. The red gaze stared downwards again, consciously. Incredibly conscious of his entire presence. But she forced herself to look up. To meet his gaze. But only for a moment. Before she is looking down again.

Her guard. He's her guard and executioner and he's raped her. Raped her several times. Laughed about it. Mocked her.

It isn't fair. That she is stuck here with him. It isn't fair.

But she's.... She's also.. determined.

She has no control. She isn't the one in control.

But somehow... she's still the one who started all of this. In the choices she has been able to make....

She Spared Sans.

Papyrus Spared her.

She opened to him her intent.

He changed his.

She's not the one to believe. The one to always have so much difficulty. And yet.....

She's standing there.

She knows it can only go so far. Never moving past being stuck here, between Fight and Mercy. But at the same time...

"They say the same things.." She repeated, breathlessly, looking down at her hands in her lap as she sat in the chair, him across from her, separated from her by the island- "Everyone says it.... Humans and Monsters... But it isn't true. It doesn't have to be that way."

Her fists were tight.

"I've lived it."

She dared to glance up, determined, as determined as she can be even as she is terrified. And even as she **_hates_** him. Staring at his surprised expression.

He _can_ see her.

She can't breathe properly. But the red eyes narrow.

If she is stuck here. The closet or him. If she is stuck between Fight and Mercy. Then....

"Rule one." She breathed. "You don't get to **apologize**."

He doesn't get to apologize to make himself feel better. He doesn't get to apologize at all!

His gaze darted downwards but to her surprise, he looks up faster than she would have thought. Accepting...

"I wasn't planning on it." He said. Still trying to lie to himself just a bit. Still holding on. But she knows.... He can see. Slowly changing himself into an Alphys. A liar with no nerve....

Fine. Fine. As long as he is honest to himself and to her. Honest. She'll find a way to hate him just a bit less......... To at least... find a way to be able to stand to even look at him.

She **hates** him.

But he isn't telling her, that she doesn't get to make the rules. He isn't stopping her. No reminder of No Conversation.

And Chara took in another deep breath.

But... That's it. That's the only rule she can think of at the moment.... And her mouth is open but nothing is coming out...

But another rule does come to her. She just can't say it out loud...

The true Rule One.

_I didn't hurt your brother, you don't get to hurt mine._

She cannot trust him. Cannot trust him to even know Frisk exists. To break her own, original, Rule one.

Alive... or dead... Her never going to know for certain.... But she won't risk it. Never.

She'll never even risk it.

Because if she loses that for certain. For real, for certain. All of this would have been for nothing. None of it would matter.

No amount of phrases would help her stay determined.

"Just....." Chara kept her head down again. Swallowing.

"Are you hungry?" Papyrus repeated softly. She nodded. And he turned away from her, getting out a bowl. And she watched. Cautious. Watching the Monster in front of her as he gave her a small bowl of rice- Smaller than she had anticipated and she's almost disappointed. But still....

Chicken and rice and cheese and these... small flecks of some seasoning of sorts.

"It's not exactly how it should be." He told her. She grabbed the spoon... Hesitant. And he couldn't look at her. Escaping to the fridge to get her something to drink again.

She can't tell if its off or not as she takes the bite. It's delicious all the same to her. And yet. It's too much. Too much for her turning stomach though she is just so hungry. Always hungry. The cheese probably doesn't help. And when he slides over another one of those juice bottles, she takes it and just works on that instead.

She can't finish this.... But somehow he seemed to have expected that, she realized.

She forced another bite in spite. Only to gag a bit...... Going back to the bottle in defeat.

"You can work on it." He offered softly. But then he escaped, his attention to the cake he was opening the frosting for. Chocolate..... All of it chocolate... And she is just so angry about not being able to handle it all. And she just watches him.... Still sick, as his hands move. The magic 'knife' spreading the frosting over the top. And she's biting the inside corner of her lip again. Her thumb trailing over her wrist but no longer pressing.....

Wanting to escape back to the closet. And yet.... And yet.... Staying determined.

* * *

 

The conversation as it went on... Frisk and The Monster, Temmie.... Chara sitting, not speaking. Giving up. Knowing she just couldn't kill it unless it really tried to kill them.

It didn't give any more information. Just bantering with Frisk, Chara keeping her eyes on it. But she gave up. She just gave up. Out of her depth in everyway and not knowing at all what she was doing anymore. Knowing even less about what the Monster was doing.

But as Frisk left, taking the bones and remains of what they had eaten out of camp, far enough away. Leaving her alone with it on purpose she knew. Leaving her..... To face it. Just for a moment.

But they didn't speak. Only stared at the fire between them and not at each other. Tense...

Until the Monster- Temmie- sighed.

That seemed to be its thing.

"Look." That seemed to be its other thing. "I can see you're upset. And coming out here was the opposite of helpful. I don't even know what I'm doing out here. I'll just go. You don't have to move, I won't come back- Which I realize now makes it almost certain that you will move- Shit-"

"Stay." She said, her grip on the dagger tight and this is stupid, a mistake, a mistake completely. The Monster- Temmie- jolted, staring at her.

"What?" It- he- asked. Like she was crazy.

She definitely felt it.

But.

"I don't trust you." She stated. "At all. You're right. You're not helping. But you leaving, and having to find another place to set up..... At least this way I can keep an eye on you. It's less work- I......... I'm just tired." She said, trying not to let her voice break. "I'm just so tired.... So you stay. At least that way I'm not looking into the shadows waiting for you to come back. You stay... So I at least can see the threat in front of me."

"...... Okay then." The Monster stated. A brow still raised but at he same time settling into the decision. "This will be interesting." But Chara was not finished, leaning closer, her face fierce.

"You do Not. Stay with Frisk. Alone." She stressed. And she meant it. She'd kill it, him, not a second thought. "Not alone with Frisk at any moment."

"Okay. I get it. Geez." It-He- rolled its- his- eyes.

And Frisk was coming back. Leaning to the side as if to get a better view of them.

"You guys okay?" He asked. Chara glared at him. And yet, still relieved. That he existed and still like this... Refusing to change when he shouldn't have had the choice.

* * *

 

And Chara took another sip of juice..... staring at the Monster in front of her putting the cake inside the fridge. Hating him... because he **hadn't** refused when he'd actually had a choice. And hating him because she knows why he is doing this now, even if he _doesn't_. That he's going to try to change back the other way and its going to mean **nothing**.... Stuck in this place.. between Fight and Mercy.

But she just.... Took another sip.

What... What was she doing?

* * *

 

And Chara settled in next to Frisk for the night. Her dagger still held tightly as she stared out across towards the Monster. The Monster curled up in a tight ball close to the embers of the fire. And she just couldn't sleep. Couldn't.....

But she knows. She couldn't sleep with the Monster there or not. Still.. The thing in her chest. She could not rest. Could not rest... Just needing to move forward...

....... Oh, what _was_ she doing..?

What were _they_ doing?


	50. Turns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody knows how to feel

...... Papyrus has believed it for so long:

Humans can't feel anything but hatred and fear. Humans aren't supposed to love. Aren't supposed to show Mercy. Not unless it still just benefits themselves.

They are nothing like him.

They parrot and mimic. To get the response they know they can out of you.

But none of it is real. It's a trick and none of it is real.

Just to get what they want.

Fight. Kill.

Hate.

And he has believed it for so long. All he's ever known.

And the human behind him as he began to pile in the chicken and rice into tupperware.. Some of it to take to lunch another day..

She hates him. She hates him with everything she has.

Because he deserves it.

And he wants to know Why, again. Why she had come back out here?

She's already given her answer to that though. Humans and Monsters.... It not being real.

Just like all the lies he's been told... by the people closest to him. To the people he thought knew better. The smartest person........

But the human behind him is nothing she is supposed to be.

And he has a million questions he doesn't deserve to ask. Some he really doesn't want answered. Others he doesn't know where to begin....

And besides..... she had not agreed to turns. But that was before she came back out. And if they are going to both be out here then.... Perhaps it was a start.

But he doesn't look back at her, simply continues to put food away, as he opens his mouth.

"Are we... taking turns? For questions?" He dared.

There was silence for a moment behind him... and then...

"Maybe." She agreed weakly. Not knowing what else to do either, her stomach still turning and she is so glad he is turned away from her. Though she still so desperately wants to flee.

"Then... It's your turn." He stated. She blinked..... "Your question of Why. Mine about the... How long. It's your turn, then."

"The... water..." She reminded.

"It didn't count." He reminded back.

Oh.... Right.....

She looked down at her hands. Breathing.. Just breathing. Heart racing.... She couldn't think.

She's not the one that's good at this. And the handful of questions she has, she doesn't feel ready for. For either of them. Neither would be ready for it. And she has too many little numerous questions about the house but that would just show him... JUST how out of her depth she is. And questions about him.....

Her stomach turns.

But her eyes glance over to the tin trays sitting off to the sid of her.

"What.. were you planning on making?" She managed. A start.

Papyrus glanced back towards her for a moment, only making her look down and that reaction just made him turn away from her again. Taking just a bit longer to finish up what he was doing.

It was not what he had been expecting in terms of questions. But it really is just.. a start.

"I was going to try cookies. Chocolate chip. But... I don't... know. Maybe not. Unless..." He dared to glance back towards her. "Would you like to help?" He offers as his own Turn.

He could see her immediately revolt to the idea. The immediate- " **No**." Her red eyes glaring. He nodded as he turned back away from her and began to put the lid on the bowl of food he had packed up. Almost done. He can only stall so much... ".... What's...?"

Chara hesitated. Still uncertain of her question but needing to keep up momentum. Just keep up momentum...

"What's your favorite.. color?" She pulled out, and she looked down, grumbling in frustration at how hard everything was. At how unfair-

"Blue." He told her. And her stomach turns again. Thinking about his brother. The dark blue scarves, the magic, she hates them. "And yours?"

She should have seen that coming.

She stared at the top of the island. Frustrated because she didn't have an answer.

"It used to be green." She whispered.

"Used to be?"

"It's not your turn." She snapped. He is silent. But to be fair... she hadn't answered his question really either.... "It used to be green... but seeing my Soul that color so often in the prison.. kind of ruined it... I guess blue is ruined too. Orange..." Her stomach turns.

Papyrus was looking back at her and she caught a glimpse of it before hiking her shoulders more protectively. Not wanting to have seen it. Regretting opening her mouth. He didn't deserve the answer. But... Saying it.... Actually saying it to someone who she knew was at least going to try to understand... Saying it...

"Green was grass and leaves and open meadows."

Now it is magic keeping her restricted in place or forcing her to heal so they can hurt her again.

"Blue was sky and water.."

Now its Sans and magic adding weight to her Soul, control. Blue was being held down so he could tower over her. Blue was being lifted into the air and being slammed mercilessly against the ground. Her arm and ribs breaking as her Soul pulsed Blue above her. She hates blue.

She hates blue. It's Sans. It's that glowing of her trapped, manipulated Soul and his magic, the thing he forces inside of her- And she hates orange for the same reason. It's Papyrus... Along with green. His green healing magic as he touches her.

"So red. My favorite color is red."

Red means her Soul is normal.

Red means that she still has an echo of control.

But even then that means her Soul is still exposed. Bared. For all to see. The Fight.

"Maybe.. yellow." She admits.

Yellow flowers in the meadows.

"Gold." She corrects.

Golden flower tea. Bright shinning sun. The gold of Frisk's eyes.

Frisk's own bright red Soul.

"Red and golden yellow." She answered officially.

"...." Papyrus forced himself to finish up putting away the food into the fridge. To start pulling out ingredients for the cookies he wanted to make. Milk. Eggs- But he hesitated.... Not sure where to put it. If he should risk the island or not. He put them there between him and Chara and she hesitated back but did not flee.

Encouraged, Papyrus began to take off his jacket, to set it to the side and Chara flinched. The action she can only associate with him coming towards her on the bed. Associate with him forcing her to shower or bath, with him or no. Associate with him holding her against him as he slept and she struggled not to cry.....

To touch her... Shower, baths, the bed-

..... But another association to add to him taking off the black jacket which stayed on in every other occasion, every day, even with his guard uniform... was welcome.

The jacket....

Sans had the scarf but it was off for her most of the time... But she knows for a fact he has several. She's learned it in Papyrus using one to blindfold her the first day. In Sans tying her hands. He has several.

Papyrus does not.

Its the same jacket. She's seen his bedroom closet, at least at a glance. It's just the one.

The same jacket every single day.

Chara swallowed as he rolled up the rest of his sleeves and got out the rest of the ingredients. Flour. Brown sugar-

"The jacket..." She began. Papyrus looked up and her stomach flipped. She wishes he would put it back on, it would make her feel just a bit safer. And she has to desperately remind herself he isn't going to hurt her. Not going to hurt...

Though he hasn't said it himself, she has felt it in his intent. Not going to Fight though he is not going to Spare...

"The jacket... its important."

Its not so much a question as it is a comment but the question of Why is implied and she can tell he knows it.

Papyrus glanced over towards the jacket at the other end of the room, folded up with care.

"It's not the original." He noted. "The original... I bought myself. My first paycheck. I was a dishwasher at Muffet's. You know what that is?" Chara nodded.

"The spider donut." She noted. Papyrus gave her a strange look, a raised brow. "You see... the icon in the dumps. But there isn't any in there most of the time." She frowned. "And she... locks up her garbage out back like a freak."

The idea... of a human trying to scavenge through Muffet's garbage. The idea... of a human getting that far into the city to begin with-

Then again... he already had that single suspicion-

"Well.. That was my first job. Back when she was at her original location and before she was so popular. But still... I.... It was the first thing I had ever gotten to buy for myself. Just a little orange thing. I grew out of it. That one, Sans and Undyne got me."

She flinched again, but her hand rose, to her chest, unconsciously. Her fingers search-

She only gripped at the fabric of her 'borrowed' shirt.

Asking questions about him had been a mistake. It only made her sick. Her sick. Her stomach turning. She didn't care. To hear about how much they.. cared.

And Papyrus can see it. The disgust she is trying not to just.. throw up over. The thought of the two most important people in his life.

But.. on the subject of important people.

He can't ask who she is living for. She won't answer. No reason to trust and that makes sense. But still...

"You said..." Papyrus began. He doesn't think its his turn, with his question about Muffet, but still, he risks it... "You said... Humans and Monsters. That it didn't have to be true... You lived it. And the Bullet Boards... aren't something you should be able to do. Unless you've been shown........ Did....?"

He can't finish the question.

The human cringed, a deep, pained grimace. The grip on the fabric at her chest tightens.

"My best friend..." It comes out of her like a breath that has been forced out of her with a knife through her chest. He doesn't think she really planned on answering. It just came out.

"A Monster." Papyrus continued. The girl looked off to the side, away from him, her fingers still gripping.

"It doesn't matter what.. or why."

And he knows, she isn't lying. You can't lie about that much pain.

But there it also is: The guilt.

But it didn't matter what or why. He was her best friend.

And she.....

Chara's head fell, her thumb trailing over her wrist mindlessly as she bit back a few new tears.

* * *

  _The Monster stayed by her side constantly. She made sure of it. Her dagger close and secure._ Never alone with Frisk. Never. The closest to it being when she slept during the day, as Frisk stayed close. Her asleep but he was awake. On guard. At calling distance. If he called for help she would come. If she called, he would be by her side. But she was tired. Tired. So tired. Yet only able to rest if Frisk was alert and even then that was only because she was just so tired to begin with.

And the Monster was a sassy ass. And yet at the same time, Chara couldn't tell the trick. Couldn't find a reason to strike out.

She had thought, give her one reason to Spare. Now she just needed one reason to Fight. Because she hadn't been given a reason to Spare other than the fact that it was not attacking.... and yet had been unable to Fight it herself. And she just... wished it would get its rouse over with. To kill it. To finally just give up to the darkness inside her and feed it. And yet that was her worse fear.

But she just wished. Just wished it. That she could snap back time. To not settle down here. To reset time and get her and Frisk to a camp.

She'd thought it a few times. To pack up and go to the camp and the Monster unable to follow. But at the same time. She had come out here to be alone. Alone with Frisk. And she didn't have it in her to pack up. Not with a set up this great. The only downside the Monster....

Just why? Why had it come back? Why had it been intent on making her suffer like this. To never rest. No hope of resting. Not when she and Frisk were forced to be constantly on guard.

A week. And then a week somehow merged into two.

She hated it. Hated it so much. It's snarky comebacks. And yet the way it would back off whenever it went too far with her. And yet the way it would hesitate. Not knowing what it was doing with her. Confused and frustrated and angry with _itself_ for coming out here and that was the most confusing thing at all. But it had to be a trick. A trick. Waiting to get them! Somehow. To stab them in the back!

And Chara sat in the meadow. Having given up with a new snare in frustration. Throwing it down. She just wanted to hurt something. Hurt the Monster. Anything. Anyone. It was there in her chest. So dark and angry and she was angry and just wanting to hurt so badly and hating, and hating herself for feeling like this. Tired and frustrated and hating and gritting her teeth.

And her hands were on the dagger. Always reaching for the dagger. Needing it. And she fiddled with it in her frustration. Just wanting to hurt. To hurt something. Anything, but hating that she felt like that. Despicable. She-

She.....

The dagger in her hands.

Her breathing thin.

* * *

And there was silence between them again as Papyrus got out a large bowl. Following the recipe he had out, reading at the instructions. Hoping he didn't mess this up because a box cake was one thing, actually baking another and he was just so awful at it. But you just had to follow directions. Everything. Just follow them and hope everything was actually listed like it was supposed to.

And he regretted the fact that he didn't have a mixer but when you don't use it enough....

Eventually, he told himself. But for now. The largest bowl they had.

And he put in the flour. The sugar. And he cracked on of the eggs, and he hesitated with the second...

"Are you sure you don't want to help?" He asked. Holding out the egg, though he realized, his fingers were trembling.

He isn't even the one in constant danger.

"I'll just show you." He told her. The girl's head lifted, the glare returned. And she stood up against the wrungs of the chair between the two front legs, leaning over the island, meaning to take the egg. To snap at him.

"I know how to break a egg." She spat. But all she got was reaching to take the egg before stopping cold. To take it was to touch him. His hand... Her breathing was thin. Staring at it. Proving her point not worth it. But he put the egg down against the island and she took a deep breath before taking it. Her hand shaking even more.

She wasn't going to be able to do this, she didn't think.

"Well.. I just thought... with the fork..." Papyrus began. The anger spiked and she glared at him.

"I know how to use a fork." She snapped. And she drove the egg against the side of the bowl, her shaking fingers getting most of it in, but a bit of the shell and she cringed. Just so frustrated again. In spite she dropped the entire shell into the bowl and sat back in her chair. Burying her face.

Papyrus stared... not speaking... Hardly even looking at her. And he began to pick out the shells.

"It'd just been awhile." She mumbled. Needing to justify herself. Defend herself almost. Her face burning. And also not wanting to remember how shaken and disoriented she had been. That first morning. First day. The memory of it- Of all of it- Putting it on something else.

"When you're traveling with a Monster. You can't exactly stay in the camps."

Where it could be important, potentially using a fork versus by yourselves. Because..

"And when you're traveling like that... you... you have to travel light."

And with whatever you find.

"Forks are useless." She mumbled.

You just need a knife and a spoon.

A knife....

* * *

 

The glint of it in her eyes. And she pressed the flat side against her skin, at her wrist.... breathing thin. Wondering... If maybe. If it wanted anyone. Maybe it would- She dared to begin to turn the sharp side over. Touching her skin.

" **Don't**."

Chara jumped, gasping and turning her head sharply. Her red eyes wide and breathing thin and panicked as she stared at the Monster. It curled up in the meadow a few feet away. Been there the whole time. Of course it had been there the whole time. She'd known it was there and had let it slip....... Just slip...

But it was staring at her. A strange expression on its face. Watching her. The dagger. Chara looked down at the dagger against her skin.

"It won't help the way you hope it will." The Monster said... More gently this time.... Almost.. sadly. "It only makes it worse... Besides.... you don't want your brother to deal with that..."

Her brother.

The tears were in her eyes.

"You shouldn't have to deal with that." The Monster mumbled, glancing away across the flowers.

And Chara.....

Her brother. Hearing someone else call Frisk that. Out loud. Someone else, validating that feeling inside her.

Chara looked down at the dagger, the glint of it in her teary eyes. And she... There was laughter. In her chest, coming out of her. A twisted, soft but breathless laugh. And it took her a moment to recover- She closed her eyes. Cringing in pain, pulling the dagger away from her skin. Digging it into the ground beside her, the fear of it and herself driving it out of her hand. Trying to catch her breath as her eyes opened again and she stared down at her hand...

After another moment, she glanced back towards the Monster. Who was still not looking at her.

"Let's get back to Frisk for a bit." The Monster-Temmie- mumbled, standing up. Still not looking at her.

And she obeyed, leaving the dagger there for the moment. And maybe that was what he had been waiting for. For her to abandon it. But.... no. She knows. No.

There is something in her chest that ached... Pain. Shame.

* * *

 "I wasn't trying to poke fun." Papyrus said after a moment. Softly.

And the worst part was. She knew he wasn't. He doesn't have a clue what to make of her. Knew even less about what she did and did not know. But it didn't stop the hurtful sensation through her. Wanting to dig her fingernails deep into her skin.

"I'm..."

* * *

 "I'm sorry." Chara whispered. And The Monster hesitated in his step.... "I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

"....... Same." He said finally. And then shrugged. As if nothing was up in any of this. "I guess."

It's snarky, not caring tone returning. And Chara bowed her head, but something almost.. warm in her chest... Though she can't let her guard down. She can't rest. But she is coming back to camp with him, unarmed. To Frisk.

Even if it is still that she is mostly more afraid of herself than of him.

* * *

 

But Papyrus can't apologize, its been banned and it wouldn't even mean anything if he did. She's still stuck here.

And Papyrus just continued to put things in the bowl. And then the chocolate chips. Chara looked up at that, at the sound of the opening bag. A glance.

Chocolate.....

But still her stomach turned. Looking at his hands.

His hands as they went into the bowl and came out, as he worked with the ingredients, foregoing everything else, his hands just much easier and faster. And Chara was sick again. Drawn to the movement but unable to ignore the memory.

Touching her. Kneading into her. Preparing her- Like something to eat-

And she's trying so hard to put something else to associate it with. Just so she can stand being anywhere near him.

Mixing cookie dough with his hands, not caring to get dirty.

And she took in a sharp breath as he caught her watching. He glanced to the almost, but not quite dough.

"Do you want to do something?" He offered. Again.

Everything inside her revolts again: No.

And she is struggling to breathe.

And she hates him.

But at the same time, standing. Not wanting to be the one to back down again.

But she can't. She can't. She sat back down. She can't.....

But he was sliding the bowl over towards her across the island. And she thinks. If she stood on the chair again. Leaned over the island like the last time with the egg. Can do it. With just enough distance between them for her to handle it. And she grit her teeth. And she stood up against the chair.

"Just... Whatever. Mash it together. To get the ingredients together as best you can." Papyrus told her. Chara forced herself to plunge her hands forward. And now its her hands working. And the texture. Awful. So awful. Squishing it. She feels like throwing up. The motions. Her hands...

_"....make her do it."_

Forcing her hand around... Around his.. As she tried not to cry. Going to force her- Her mouth...

Chara pulled her hands out of the dough, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't do this.

"I can't..." Her hands dirt, and she can't breathe. Or escape.

Papyrus was leaning more over the island though he can't rest his hands down since his own hands are covered too. But his voice was soft and urgent.

"It's okay." He told her, though she can also hear the guilt. The apology in his voice. Though he can't say it. "It's okay. You don't have to. You don't.... You don't have to do anything."

Except stay here. Except stay here. Stuck here. She's just going to be raped again. She's going to be tortured. Killed. They're going to put her Soul in a canister and send it off to Undyne and it isn't going to stop. No rest. None... Not even in death.

And if there is a way to cry as a Soul she's going to find it because she just cannot stop crying.

"We'll just.. take it slower." Papyrus told her. And he's trying to help. Trying to calm her down. And it just makes it all worse-

_"See? We're taking this nice and slow for you? Just slow... You better enjoy it now, Chara-"_

There are too many memories. And she wants to stay determined. She wants to stay de-

She wants to throw up. And this is sick, it's sick and awful and she just wants to throw up.

 _"Don't let her-"_ Papyrus' hand over her mouth. Forcing her to swallow it down. Salty and warm and gross-

But she wants to stay determined. She wants to do this. Has to do this. She does not know why. For what purpose. It is not fair. But stay determined. Stay-

And she tried so hard, to put her hands back into the bowl.

But she can't... She can't stand to be here. And she's scared and can't breathe and everything is awful-

"Let's just.. wash your hands." Papyrus offered. "You can go in the living room."

And he is not Temmie. He is not like Temmie. This situation is not like Temmie at all. Not the same. Not even similar. And she just cannot breathe.

But she wants-!

Papyrus lifted out his hands over the bowl, his face making it clear that he did not know what else to do, but offer his hands. And Chara..... Chara couldn't breathe but at the same time- She didn't want to touch him but at the same time- She took his offered hands in hers. Desperate for anything. Desperate for anything else to associate all of this with. And he didn't grip. Did not catch her hands and force her to stay.

And the texture is off and awful and gross, but its cookie dough. It's cookie- His hands. Hers. His hands. Why is she allowing this? Doing this? Run. Flee.

But she wants to stay determined. She made this choice. To come back out here.

And Papyrus doesn't know if he should look at her or not. What to do. There is nothing he can do.

This person that he has hurt, beyond hurt, and this person he is going to continue to be let hurt... Why is she out here? Why doesn't she run? Flee? She has every right. More than every right. This person he has hurt and is just terrified of him and would rather run and hide herself in a dark closet rather than be there with him and she has every right to be afraid and not trusting and Why? Why is she out here? Why is she in here? He doesn't understand!

But she is gripping his hands tightly. Determined. Her grip tight. The strongest grip he can fathom though if he wanted to he could so easily twist her arms and hurt her. So easily. Not strong at all. Not in the physical sense. But strong. Strong holding on. Because he cannot comprehend how she is doing it to begin with.

Because humans are supposed to trick. Manipulate. But she is not like that. It's genuine and true. And he does not understand. Not understanding that this determination is all she has. No other choices. Options.

The easy choice being the closet. Easy, comfortable choice. But that isn't going to get her anywhere. And this may not get her anywhere either, but maybe.. maybe... She doesn't know. She doesn't understand either.

Neither can understand their own actions.

Papyrus only knows that he wants to understand. Though the more he sees of her the less he does.

And Chara just does not want to give up. The closet for sure, the path to giving up. Easy and comfortable though dangerous. And this is just as uncertain. But to just... keep going. Keep going. Do not give up.

[Act]

It's all she has.

And she is gripping his hands. And he is not hurting her. And it is cookie dough. It's cookie dough and she is gripping his hands and touching him and she is not in immediate danger. He is not going to hurt her. Stay in the present. Not the past. Not the future. The present. You're making cookies. Cookies. Maybe it is useless but that is what is happening.

Currently. You are not in immediate danger. You are not there. You are not being used.

But you will be-

No. No. Present. Present. And then when it is happening, think to the future. To the future. Or to the past, to what you have to get back to-

"Tell me." Papyrus encouraged, trying to ground her. "Tell me about your best friend."

It's not his turn. It isn't.

But her best friend....

A new type of pain comes. Breaking her.

His dust. His dust on her gloved, fisted hand.

Because she betrayed him. And she hopes that he hates her. Though she knows he wouldn't. Instead- Desperate.

"I'm sorry." She breathed. Gripping Papyrus' hands harder.

She's sorry.....

"H-Hey..." Papyrus tried again. Realizing his idea backfired. Realizing that this best friend of hers was probably the one she was grieving and bad idea, awful idea- "Tell me.." He started again.

He knows nothing about her. Nothing. He needs something. Something that isn't about how she hates being tied up. How she hates going blind. Hates the darkness. Hates him. Hates Sans. Something good. But he knows nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

He knows... nothing....

"Tell me... what's your favorite thing to eat?" Except he knows, just like the colours, they've ruined eating too. Starving her. While also forcing her to- "Tell me your favorite food?"

"Choc-Chocolate." She told him.

Chocolate.

Spider donuts split three ways. A spider bake sale, spiders so very, very lost. The donuts payment for helping.

Chocolate. Chocolate bars, found in the dumps. Who could ever throw it out? Waste. Such waste.

Chocolate.

"Chocolate." She says again.

"Well then..."

Chocolate cake in the fridge. Chocolate chip cookies. But she isn't ready for any of that.

"I like oatmeal. The kind with the dinosaur eggs though I'm too embarrassed to buy it. So. We always have just plain, bland oatmeal. So boring. Such a shame for a very serious cook like me." He spoke, just speaking, just trying to make it normal. As normal as he can. Because she needs it.

Though it isn't normal. He's going to let her get hurt and he knows it. Maybe even killed. And she knows it. Why is she out here?

Though both of them. Staring at their hands, her gripping his and he does not dare to grip back. And both of them. Staring at the bowl of cookie dough beneath them.

And he speaks.

"What kind of chocolate do you like?"

"A-Any. You can't.. be picky." You can't be picky. "N-not. Out there. B-But bars. Spider donuts. Anything... Chocolate.. Just whatevers out... out there."

Out there. Green grass and leaves she had mentioned-

"What's your favorite plant?"

Plant..

"Golden flowers." She breathes. Or tries to.

"Like golden flower tea?" She nodded.

Spider donuts. Golden flower tea. He understands why she had refused his earlier offer. Not wanting him to ruin something else good for her-

"Yours?" She dared. Managed. How?

She closed her eyes a moment, a wave rolling through her. She hates him...

"Never thought of it." He tells her honestly. And he wonders if he should tell her he likes golden flower tea too or to leave it. Because golden flower tea goes hand in hand with Undyne and for all that she hates and is scared of Papyrus that does not compare to Undyne in the slightest. "Maybe any kind of vegetable. I like cutting them up and putting them in things. You can't mess up cutting things up. Well I suppose that isn't exactly true. You can cut it too big and it cooks too long. You can cut it too small, cooks too fast. I like working with noodles too."

"That's not.... Not a plant." She managed once again. Papyrus nyehed softly.

"No. It is not I suppose. I got carried away. But could you imagine it? A noodle plant?" And she hates the image in her head. Hates it. A tree like a willow with noodles for leaves like a crazy mop of hair. She hates it.

"I hate you." She breathed. She really, really, hates him. And she looks up, and he looks so sad about it and it makes her hate him even more. "I'm never.. not. Going to hate you."

And she hates that too.

And she can see the apology in his face and she hates, hates it.

He doesn't deserve to be sorry. To change back. He and Sans deserve to be dead.....

And yet she hates that too.

"I just.. wanted to be left alone." She cried. "Alone in the valley. Alone. We all just want to be left alone. Going through the dump- All the things you don't even want. Waste. Our camps that we can't even trust because you might raid them- We just want to be left alone and not be forced to escape Underground- That maybe just be a trap- And-"

And.

And.....

She can't even say that all. Because being left alone would not have stopped all of her problems. The one that had led her here to begin with.

Even the LOVE. Her first kill. A human. Another human. Chasing her and she doesn't dare think about what he wanted with her. A child. A full, undeniable child. No question to it. Him chasing her. Her hiding. Striking. Killing. Blood. So much blood. All over her and later running into the water of the river, off of her but never out of her Soul.

Just wanting to be left alone. Alone.

And yet. Yet.

No. She can't even say it fully.

Because the problem that had led to her being in the prison. To the lab and back again. Being here with him. And Sans. That problem had come up when they had been left alone. Unavoidable in some way.

Left alone or not. Left alone or not with nothing out in the valley. She would still be here. And she hates it. Because she can't even know if it mattered. If it was worth anything. And even in that uncertainty- She can't regret it either. And she hates it.

She hates everything again.

And she hates him.

And yet...

"Do you.. hate me?" She asked.

"....I'm supposed to."

It's not an answer. But it is all he has. All he is willing. All he is able.

He's supposed to.

He has to...........

But....

"But you're everything you're not supposed to be."

And behind him, the oven beeped. Papyrus and Chara jumped. He had forgotten he had even hit preheat....

And the girl. She laughed. Laughed brokenly. Laughed in that way she does sometimes when she is just hurt.

They are both a mess. Cookie dough. Tears. Her holding his hands though she just wants to throw up. Hates him. Mess. And she is taking deep breaths. Deep.

What had she expected? Coming out here?

She should run........

But she can't.

She doesn't know what she is doing. He doesn't know what he is doing let alone what she is. It's madness to him. Madness. And yet...

The girl was breathing in, trying to even out her breath. And she let go of his hands, letting hers sink back into the dough, to work into it. Though it is sick and she has to fight to not think about it. And Papyrus... slowly.. hesitantly.. reached in to help her.

Just trying to stay tolerant of the other's presence. To not just the both of them flee. Her to the closet. Him to the back door and the porch and maybe farther. Forever. Both of them not wanting to be there and he does not understand why she is.

He is never going to understand her. Never. Maybe if he had the time- No. Not even then.

He's not going to have any time anyways. She's going to die... She's really going to die. Because she can't get out.

She cannot escape this.

And he has no clue why she is out here....... Because he knows by now that it is not to trick.

Why is she here? With him? Why?

But he wonders if... she knows. At least subconsciously. He wonders if she also knows that she desperately needed a friend. Or at the very least. Someone there. To help her keep up her momentum.

Stay determined, she thought. Because she can't do it.. _can't_ do it alone. Never has been able to do it alone. And she is stuck with him.

And it is awful. Awful. Awful. But somehow, as it goes on. Both of them playing with the dough longer than they should... Just staying, struggling to breathe comfortable that close to each other. That close and not doing anything to each other.

He's not hurting her. He's not. He's not.....

But his brother is-

Present. Focus on the present. Just the present.

He's not hurting her. No one is hurting her right that moment.

But no. No. It's not anything like Temmie. At all. Not at all......

And maybe to some extent... Maybe this is somehow.. something she deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be at least one more Papyrus and Chara chapter??????????????????  
> I don't know.  
> Anything. Ever. Blagh.


	51. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Chara......
> 
>  
> 
> Humans and Monsters...  
> They're all scum anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we did good on test. Good yes? YES?!?!?! Hopefully, yes.  
> Have a chapter.

_Frisk was skipping rocks again, the Mons_ \- Temmie, was sitting and watching. As Chara stayed off to the side. Fishing with her makeshift pole. Knowing she wasn't going to catch anything as Frisk skipped more rocks, showing Temmie. As they blabbered. About how you needed to move your wrist this way or that to get it to hit the water just right. To get it farther and farther. How the rock needed to be flat. And the Mon- Temmie, had begun to make Frisk bullets to use.

The first time Temmie had done it, the magical round bullets- Her breathing had stopped and her hand had reached for the dagger though she had not gotten up out of her spot. Just watching. Watching anxiously. Her mouth dry. But Frisk, just like The River Person's fire, had simply grabbed it. Like an idiot. Trusting idiot. Though it was kill or be killed. Kill or be.... And he just trusted so much some times.

And she knew it was for nothing, nothing, her worry. But she couldn't help it. But she was certain in the back of her mind still that the Monster would betray them at some point. One way or another. It was inevitable.....

But for now.

Frisk was skipping bullets.

Actual Attacks turned into playthings, skipping across the water.

The two of them seeing just how far they could go together. The Monster grumbling to himself a bit though.. Because even when it tried to mimic Frisk. Twisting the bullet through the air, it was just not the same as Frisk's clean flick of the wrists.

The Monster stopped, sitting down as Frisk let out another bullet across the water.

"Why couldn't I have had hands?!" The Monster demanded, its head back, near dramatic. Chara jolted in her place, a wave of amusement at the unexpected, ridiculous outburst. She eyed Temmie in the corner of her vision as Frisk stopped and looked down at him.

"Is that why you're always angry all the time?" The boy asked. Chara felt another jolt of amusement. The Monster closed his eyes, head still tilted back.

"I can't even lie and say no." He moaned.

Chara laughed at that, a snort as she covered her mouth briefly with her hand. The pole tilting downward in her hand. She knew Frisk and Temmie were glancing over towards her though and her cheeks were burning at the thought. Her hand falling and she was going to try to go back to pretending to fish. To ignore it. To let them both continue without her interference.

The playful banter having become so common place in the last three weeks. And this last week in particular- As Chara had tried her best to force herself to calm down. To not want to just stab The Monster and be done with it while at the same time the thought terrifying her. Doing her best to separate herself from it all. From the two of them so she didn't do anything else that could hurt either of the two of them. And yet... The banter... It's become almost comfortable. The Monster's irritated snark, Frisk's deadpan near innocence and yet just a tad cheeky because he knew exactly what he was doing. A pattern. Comfortable- And she felt bad for interrupt-

"Oh you think that's soooo funny don't you? You try not having hands and working fingers. Thumbs!" Temmie demanded.

Chara's face was burning, the guilt. That same guilt she's felt the last week, since she thought about..... With the dagger. With Temmie's stern, **_Don't_**.

"Do you know how hard it is to open things? Like doors?"

Doors-?

"I-" Chara tried.

"And don't get me started on trying to use a fork and spoon?"

Chara could only stare, not knowing what to do, so confused-

"And just think about it, Chara." Frisk joined in. "When he wants to count he's got no fingers to help him."

"Yeah! Wait-" Temmie glanced at Frisk but then looked back towards Chara. "Yeah!" It said again. "Life is practically _impossible_. It's the true reason I'm out here you know?"

"Using us." Frisk said sadly, shaking his head.

And Chara stared but... The looks both of them were giving her were giving each other just too much. And there was something warm in her chest, realization, as she snickered softly, not able to hold it back fully.

She's an idiot.... And those two idiots shared another glance, pleased with themselves. She's an idiot.

"Well..." She dared, just dared, but her heart kinda racing, uncertain even though she knew this was exactly what they had wanted from her- "Just let us know.. when we can lend you a hand."

It was poor and obvious but she had nothing else, out of her area for this sort of thing.

But now.. it was The Monster who stared.

"...... You are both awful and completely inconsiderate to my needs." He stated. "I don't have to put up with this." And The Monster turned around, intending to walk towards the water and Chara couldn't even guess what it was planning really, other than to just straight walk into the water. But it didn't make it. There was something farther down the river on the water coming closer.

"Someone's coming." Frisk said softly and it was closer than they should have allowed. Should have been more careful to pay attention- Chara's grip on her pole tightened briefly before she regained herself and began to twist the line in.

"Is it The River Person?" Chara asked hopefully, though. For several reasons.

"No." Temmie stated knowingly, even without a clear look. "We should hide until they pass." Chara glared across the water, trying to get a better look. Even as Frisk and Temmie began to make it towards the tree line. "Chara." Temmie hissed. Chara turned, intending to obey but a voice was already calling out across the water.

"Hey-OH!" It was distant, too distant, but Chara's stomach dropped at the call and then the accompanying _whoop_ from the water. And she was frozen. Knowing she had been seen. She stared wide eyed at Temmie and Frisk, already in the shadows out of sight. They should run. Run.... Run before the people got closer. She glanced over her shoulder, the dagger and fishing pole in hand. She should run. But she was frozen in place. "Hey you!! Hey, girlie!"

"Hide." She hissed, turning back towards the water.

"What are you doing?" The Monster hissed back, angrily. Frisk's voice too-

"Chara?" He called in a loud whisper.

"Our place's too close." She whispered back. If she ran. They could chase. Know. If she didn't run, maybe she could convince them she wasn't hiding anything. They should just leave her alone. But her heart was racing, racing, just racing-

"Chara." Temmie called. "You're not ready for this."

She wanted to turn around. To glare at him. Spite inside her to prove him wrong in every way. She was ready for this! Because she had to be ready for this.

Chara had to do this, to prove to herself that she still _can_.

But at the same time, she knew... Temmie was right. She was not ready.

But she couldn't hide forever. Couldn't just hide out here forever. And this was foolish, stupid and foolish-

But she didn't think she would ever be ready. Not really.

"Shit." She heard Temmie say, and she heard branches moving, Frisk and Temmie hiding nearby. As she stood there, an idiot. More than an idiot. Recklessly an idiot.

It was a raft. Floating along the movement of the river, probably heading towards the dumps. And then on to, it seemed, a camp. It had too many things on it to be going anywhere but a camp. And it had three men and a boy her age about- the very sight of them made her sick.

And she just remembered- Blood- on her-

But she stood there, her expression as hardened and unafraid as she could, having had enough practice with Temmie now and she thought she could pull it off. As long as she remembered: Temmie and Frisk were there nearby. Frisk was safe and out of the way and she had to keep it that way.

"Oh lookit, it Chara." One of the men drew, something in his mouth. Chara's heart fluttered in a strange mixture of relief and dread.

Relief because she knew some of them. Because she at least knew what she was dealing with. Though that was where the dread came in. Dread... because she knew some of them. Knew them and they were pulling the raft to a stop. No, no, just keep going. Leave! Because she knew them. The man in the worn once black now sun bleached and faded cap was leaning forward and she recognized his face though could not recall his name. And the boy-

"Oh fucking great. You're still alive." Chara put a hand on her hip, glaring back.

"Jack." She spat.

The boy. They'd met in Patience the last time they had stayed there long. She's gone to the dump with him a few times. She can't stand him. Hence why she'd agreed to go to the dumps. Less guilt in just leaving him behind and he to her. An ass with no decency who thinks he's entitled to anything and everything.

But still..

What was he doing? Really what _was_ he doing? Three men to his one scrawny boy body. He was barely maybe a year older than her. And she knew for a fact that none of these people were related to him. And the man with the cap, she knew, his reputation, his LOVE.

Her... LOVE...... now, too.... It made her stomach twist. But she tried to look unafraid. To keep her will fierce in case they Checked her.

But she knew them. Lowest of the low scum and a part of her knew why Jack was there too if she just thought past the danger part. He's a nasty piece of work in himself. The only difference between him and the other men on the raft was his age and strength.

Though the man in the back, she didn't know him at all but somehow he seemed familiar in some way. Overall, though, she was relieved that he seemed to be staying out of this. In the back, somehow separated from the rest of the group. As if he didn't fully belong. Except something was off on him. Something that drew Chara's gaze. Something. Just there. Making her weary.

And she knew. Just by looking at him. He was the most dangerous one there in some way though she couldn't know how. But he wasn't the current threat even though, he was watching her. Intently. But still, the current threat. That was the two men lingering close to Jack. Jack, she could whip in seconds. So yeah. It was them.

The two men who could overpower her but never out run her or would be useless if she would just chose to climb up a tree, so way up high and out of reach. Safer-

"Where's Frisky bits though?" Jack called. "Ya finally smart enough to let 'em go or did ya lose him finally?" But then his eyes were scanning the tree line. "Or is he around here?"

"He's back at camp." She stated.

"Oh yeah? And where you set up, girlie?" The man who had identified her, she also didn't know the name of, only the face and his hair, black and pulled back. The fact that they seemed to know something about her, enough to know her name and the sight of her, it made her uneasy.

They were people to avoid, for sure. She knew. Except, the man in the back again she _wasn't_ sure of. With something Off and different. He was probably just traveling with them out of necessity. That made him even more dangerous. To travel with people like this with no obvious weapon that she could see- Oh.

Her breathing was thinning out again though she did her best. Hide it!

She should have run.

"We're not set up." Chara stated. "We're just traveling. Heading to Patience."

The exact opposite direction they were going. Closer to the Ruins. The men were heading towards the dumps and probably onto-

"Well we're heading to the dumps. You just come from there?"

"No." And that was all she would offer.

"Well if ya change your mind on Patience, we're heading towards Perseverance."

There was no way in hell they were getting her on that raft with any of them.

"Thanks but no thanks. We're meeting someone."

"Fat fucking chance." Jack spat. "She's lying. She's set up in the woods again. She hates the camps and don't lie. She thinks she's too good for the rest of us all."

No. Just terrified of the rest of them all. Hated them. And now the blood in her Soul, that man falling over her, bleeding, her heart racing and LOVE flooding through her..... She wanted nothing to do with them even less. And her hand was on the dagger.

"Too good, huh?" The man with the cap was off of the raft, in the water, halfway up his shins. And Chara's heart leapt.

She should have run. Should have run and she should run right now but she was frozen, needing to stand her ground. But this man was one to just play and be cruel for no reason at all. No good reason other than he can.

The opposite of her. She does things because she has to and therefore she finds a way so she can. She has to so she can. Him though. He can so he just has to. He can be cruel so he has to-

And he has an _audience_.

She is lifting up the dagger, abandoning her fishing pole, snarling. Her entire body tense, but before he even took another step, an array of magic bullets shot out across the water in a line in front of him.

And The Temmie, beside her. Hunched and snarling just the same as her, ready to attack. Chara's heart fluttered for a moment but she quickly turned her attention back to the man, the threat. Glad to have a seeming ally in all of this. But at the same time, Temmie's presence has only made the situation worse.

"A monster?" The other man who'd known her name snapped. "What the fuck-"

"You fucking traitorous bitch-!" Jack sputtered, "Knew there was something strange about you!"

"It's not even a proper monster! A fucking temmie-! Think you're too good for us and hang out with that shit?!"

That only made Chara's hands on the dagger tighter, even more ready to strike. But she should run, she should run. Run. But she was frozen and Temmie was standing his ground beside her.

The other man, the one who had known her name, was beginning to stand, to get off the raft and join the man with the cap.

But he can't do anything as the water in front of them rose up violently, creating a sharp array of ice and sand. The four potential combatants jumped back. Chara glanced to Temmie but knew, knew by his reaction- It wasn't him.

It was the third man on the raft. The most dangerous one.

The Mage.

The other two men turned back to him, bitter and fierce but not willing to risk endangering themselves to him more and his now lifted, white glowing hand.

"What's the idea?" The Cap demanded.

"The idea is that if you take another step towards that girl I'll make you regret it. This is not what you paid me for and you will get back in the raft before I leave and take your deposit with me."

Chara's heart was racing.....

The dumps... Perseverance. That was not their goal after all. You didn't hire a mage just to go to the dumps.

They were going into the city to do something risky. Or out to kill someone or a group of someones. Or both. Into the city to kill.

The two men, they glared at her and Temmie over the ice. And she dreaded, so dreaded, that they knew her name. But still, they were going back onto the raft. Mumbling curses all the way. Chara met The Mage's eyes, hating him but also relieved... Relieved as the two men got back on the raft, as the raft began to drift away. But The Mage, his arms were crossed and he was watching her. His face serious and unamused.

"That Monster will betray you, kiddo." The Mage called. Chara clenched her jaw again, staring him down.

"Yeah." Jack called in, as if his input had been needed. And his voice was mocking- "Expect this from that brat you carry on but I thought you were supposed to be the **survivor** , Chara."

"You should know better, girlie."

The anger, darkness, was there in her chest. Wanting to kill them. Kill them all.

"Well he's not the one trying to torment CHILDREN to make himself FEEL better about himself!" She ragged at them, a little more confident now that they were moving away. Though she was shaking. Though her heart was racing.

And the realization.... There. In her racing heart-

She trusts a Monster more than she trusts her own kind.

And The Temmie is standing beside her, glaring at her, very angry with her and her stupidity and she knows she deserves it. But he doesn't say anything. Only turns around and begins to walk towards the trees where Frisk was finally emerging, heading directly towards her and hugging her. And she held him back, tightly. But The Temmie is angry. Really angry though he won't say it because he knows she already knows what she did and yelling at her won't make it any better.

And they didn't speak the rest of the afternoon, no playful banter. Just working. Debating whether to pack up or not. Leaving it for the morning to decide.....

And Chara and Frisk curled in on each other. The Temmie across the glowing embers of the fire. But Chara couldn't sleep. Couldn't. And it was not just because of the usual darkness and mistrust inside of her.

The men were right. It was inevitable. This couldn't last. It just couldn't last.... Even if The Temmie meant it, being here, even if he didn't know why. It was inevitable.

She separated herself from Frisk, coming closer to The Temmie. His pointed set of ears twitched, she knew that he was awake, silently stewing still at her stupidity.

"Tem-" She couldn't finish it. She never really finished his name if she said it at all... Just unable to. And this time there was more guilt than usual.

A single eye opened, watching her, as she folder her legs and looked down. Her hands on her worn out shoes, needing a new pair desperately. And..

She wanted to apologize, she probably owed Frisk an apology too. Just being an idiot. Just a stupid idiot with her mind still all in a mess and she just couldn't think and make proper decisions even though she knew what she should do and she's just an idiot! But..... But.... She would worry about that later. For now. While she was thinking about it.

"This can't last."

The Temmie was lifting his head, staring at her.

But it was certain. Even if he meant it, this can't last. Humans and Monsters.... And not even that! Just.... Her and Frisk. Him. Her.

"If it comes down to you and me. I _will_ leave you." She stated. Matter-of-fact. "If it ever comes down between you and Frisk, I won't even look back." Never even regret it. "If you leave us, to save yourself, there will be no hard feelings. Even if we meet up again. No hard feelings......"

That was just the way things go.

It was inevitable...

" **But**." She said darkly, her fingers squeezing at her worn shoes. "If you betray us. Stab us in the back, somehow... That is when you will regret us ever having **met**. Do you understand?"

Because she has to get this out here. To let herself relax. Because it is inevitable. Something is going to happen. They are going to leave each other behind, it is just the way it goes. Him standing beside her today even when she had been such an idiot and shouldn't even have been in that situation... That was not the way it would always go and she had to get it out there. It was just the way it goes.......

No hard feelings.

But she had to get it out there. The semblance of a set of rules. To give her just this sliver of peace of mind. And he had to understand-

"Got it." The Temmie stated evenly. And Chara should leave. Go back to Frisk. Leave and go back and leave Temmie alone..... But.... She can't. She just sits there, feeling guilty. And yet, something else also on her mind.

"They said... Called you..."

"Not a proper Monster?" Temmie filled in for her. Chara hesitated but then nodded. "That's more of a Frisk question ain't it?"

It was true. Frisk was the one to ask questions....

The Temmie sighed though, not looking at her.

"It's a long story. But let's just say that, there used to be a lot more tems. Though I'm....." He cut himself off. Backtracking from what he was going to say.

"Was it.. humans? Are humans the reason there aren't as many anymore?"

The Temmie laughed bitterly.

"You'd think. But no... Monsters." Chara's stomach twisted... "Let's just say humans aren't the only ones who do shitty shit to their own people."

And Chara... she didn't want any more details. This world just too fucked up for her to handle anymore if it weren't for the fact that Frisk was still in it...

But...

"Is that... the reason you're always so angry?"

If she had thought the laugh before was bitter, this one was even something else.

"No even the _half_ of it." She was tense and silent... But The Temmie was sighing again. "It doesn't help though." He admitted.

"......... I'm sorry." She stated, really meaning it. For several things. He shrugged.

"Eh. But still..." He glanced at her seriously. "You're right. No hard feelings.... And as long as you don't betray me, I won't betray you."

Chara nodded.

That was just the way it was.... More than fair. In this world that wasn't fair.......

* * *

 

And yet.......

" _Tell me about your best friend."_

He calls you an idiot. And you, him. He tells you when to get your head back to where it needs to be. Or when you've gone to far and need to take that step back to dream. He listens to the things you can't tell Frisk because Frisk is just... too much. Believes too easily. He listens and you can tell him most anything.

It doesn't matter what he is or where he came from or why.

He's your best friend and he's Frisk's best friend too.

And you wish so much for him to hate you.

Cuz' he's the one you killed, he's the one you left behind. Betrayed. He's the one you left behind to save your brother who may have ended up dying anyways and you will never know. Never, ever know if it was worth it.

Even as you try to stay determined, anyways.

There you are, hating yourself and yet. Determined.

Stay determined.

Because you know that your best friend would still want you too. Despite everything else.

Despite everything-

You owe it to him to not give up. You owe it to him to at least keep trying.

Even as all the good things hurt and all the kind things remained cruel.

You cannot give up just yet.

Stay...

She just had to keep moving... Just like always. Keep moving....

Stay determined.


	52. Stay Determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not okay (I promise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what I'm doing, but its okay I think. :/

_It was decided the next morning_ : They would pack up and leave for somewhere else.

The men wouldn't come back right away, they may not come back at all, but the risk of it was too high. Spite was a killer of a motivator out there... Truly, killer. And it wouldn't matter she was a child. Not in the slightest.

It never mattered that you were just a child....

Not that Chara had ever felt like one to begin with.

Either way. They would move. But there was no real rush, knowing their raft was powerless against the flow of the river, a one way trip with a makeshift craft like that. And also, their goal, whatever it had been, that had required The Mage.

But yes, Chara had decided, they would move from here.

Though even she was apprehensive...

She refused to go to a camp, too anxious about being around too many people. And she couldn't' go back to The Ruins yet. And she felt tied to the river though she knew that it was foolish.

The river: Compassion. It came out of the city, through The Ruins, into the forest, before it met with the other river that came out of the city: Mercy. That one ran along the dump and Compassion fed into it right at the tip of the dumps, both waters carrying assorted bits and pieces with it as it went on from that place, all the way to Perseverance.

Perseverance was one of the oldest and largest human camps, though Chara never liked to stay there for that very reason. Its offered image of permanence making it even more at risk of disappearing in her mind. Even as the years stretched on and she knew that it was way older than her even.

It'd had a different name before that Chara couldn't remember, or cared to, but it had lasted so long despite several raids that the name had changed to something more suiting.

On the other side of that, there was Patience. The safer one of the two in Chara's mind. Perseverance's proximity to the dumps made it ideal for scavengers and the largest human market was there, all the assorted things... Shoes, clothes, all the assorted things. But Patience was calmer. And... Perseverance had all those trying to scam, the frauds and murderers. It had all the assorted things, but everyone knew that if you wanted quality, you went to Patience.

There were other camps, scattered all throughout the valley, smaller, less permanent. Not all of them with symbols and names. All along the paths. Chara never walked along the paths directly, sticking to the trees and walking parallel to them...

The paths, not exactly roads, but just enough worn ground to make it noticeable that they were there... Connecting camps. Though the roads sometimes just ran alongside the streams that fed into the three major rivers.

Everything in the valley, always leading you back to the water. One way or another.

And for Chara, ever since she was small, finding her way back to Compassion. Because it was the one that gave her access to everything. The Ruins, the dumps, the two major camps. It was risky because of that but the benefits had always outweighed the risk....

And yet she couldn't deny it this time, standing there, knowing they should probably go somewhere that wasn't along the river at least for awhile.... But...

But this river: Compassion. This was where the River Person usually came down through.

But she swallowed it down, that worry... And she half- She said another small little prayer to the fake goddess, and yet.... half. Just half. Because she couldn't help but think about what The Temmie had said. About Monsters to other Monsters. She'd prayed the first time, thinking she just had to care if it was a Monster Chara was worried about. But....

Using her own son, like they said. Monster against Monster like Temmie had hinted.

She only half prayed it under her breath because still, it couldn't hurt.... right?

Not that it would help either.

And she just took her time, packing up. Grumbling at how little they had again and she really needed to go to the dumps. They hadn't been prepared for this trip into the forest to begin with and leaving the river behind was just going to make it even worse. Harder.

But she didn't want to go to the camps. Couldn't bring herself to do it.

Besides... Temmie couldn't go to the camps with them and she felt... She had _just_ accepted that they could probably trust him on the short term. And....

All she could do was sigh. Stopping in her attempt to pack, sitting there. Feeling empty.

"You okay, there?" Temmie asked, coming towards her, sitting down beside her when she didn't respond.

......... She was not okay.

She doesn't think she's ever been okay. Ever. And...

"I don't even know what that's supposed to feel like." She stated weakly.... She glanced over towards Frisk who was packing things up a bit out of the way, just out of earshot if she spoke low enough. She knew the words hurt him. And it was hard on her. So many things she just felt like she couldn't tell him and this was one of them. She's not okay..... But even if she didn't tell him, she knew that he knew anyways.... She's not okay... "I don't think I'm ever really going to be okay."

And yet she just has to keep moving... Just moving.. Going.....

She could not stop. Stop. Rest.

Because she had to keep going...

But she just!

"I want to be okay....." She whispered, painfully... Cringing... and she kept the pinpricks of tears in the back of her eyes. She wants to be okay. Wants Frisk to be okay- But she couldn't cry. She couldn't. She had things to do. And yet-

"I know." The Temmie stated. And she knew that somehow that covered all of it. The not knowing what okay felt like, never going to be okay, but wanting to. "And that's the only reason I can come up with for me coming out here......." Temmie continued. "I know."

He gets it.

Chara laughed a bit, that only drew Frisk's attention. His head turning sharply at the sound. But immediately, she could see the pain in his eyes because he knew it was one of her pained ones. That just made it worse. Chara covered her eyes and laughed again, just as pained.

And it was when her brother's arms were around her again that she broke down into tears. Something she hasn't done since the boat ride with The River Person. And once she started, she just couldn't stop. Even with The Temmie there, even though she knew big kids didn't cry though she was never even fully a kid- And she knew that she just had to keep moving and crying solved nothing.

But Frisk was crying too, she realized really quickly, feeling his back shake. Chara bit down, her chest tightening.

But to her surprise, Frisk was humming, through his own tears that he was managing to control. Humming. A soft little tune that she recognized. One of the ones The River Person hummed sometimes to himself. The one he'd hummed on the boat as she had tried to drift off to sleep.

"Don't give up, Chara." He told her. "I believe in you."

And oh the pain in her chest. And she laughed again. Laughed and held him tighter. Tears running down her face but somehow, some tension eased. And she held Frisk tightly as she collected herself. And Chara held Frisk tightly as her breathing calmed down again. As she regained herself from her near break down, breathing in deeply. Not to cry. Maybe not okay, but still just slightly better. Holding onto Frisk and some sort of light inside of her.

* * *

 And it would be strange to her, years and years later, that it would be The King of Monsters that would give her the phrase that perfectly described that light.

That spark that Frisk carried and offered it to her.

Stay determined.

Don't give up just yet.

* * *

 

_And her arms tightened around Frisk again._

"We're not moving camp." She whispered. The decision made in her head. "We're not moving."

She's too tired. The tears were gone, her body heavy, but the decision made and sure. She's not going to move for a phantom threat. A simple potential threat. She was going to stay. And it isn't the same foolishness that had froze her along the river, making her an idiot. No. It was slightly more calculated that that. They would stay. The men were going somewhere. To do something. That would give them time to settle down and forget about her. And besides, they will assume she moved in fear. So the best way was to stay. They were not going to come back. And she refused to move just for that. She was going to hold on for a bit longer.

"We're not moving." She stated again, though she knows they are more than half packed. "We're not... We're going to stay."

Stay and let herself continue to rest and let them move forward from this. That was why they had come out here and that was what they would do. Let her recover herself. She's just tired. Tired of running, hiding, fleeing. Wanting to be okay. But yes, if she couldn't be okay or entirely safe, she could still at least be slightly better and this is what she needed. Where she needed. And she could do it now that she was near certain that The Temmie was not something she had to be on guard about all the time. Nonstop.

She pulled away from Frisk and he was smiling a bit at her but still-

"You sure?" He asked. She nodded. And there was no protest. No protest in the fact that they were almost ready.

"Yes." She stated out loud. The Temmie didn't say anything. Just laying there a few feet away, watching in the corner of his eye.

"They still know where you are." The Temmie reminded. "It's not safe anymore."

"Its never safe." Chara reminded. "And if it is never safe anyways why should I use so much energy just to move when they won't be coming back? At least for a week or two if at all?"

The Temmie tilted its head, then, he nodded. And if Chara had felt better before she felt even better now knowing she made sense to at least someone.

"I'm tired of running." She stated. "I'm going to keep this." One good thing. This set up, for a bit longer.

That was the goal she would cling to for the moment. Keep this place until they really had to move. But until then. She wouldn't give it up for some phantom threat.

"We're staying."

And she felt the slightest bit of relief in that too, having a clear decisions made and plan..... Something to channel her restless energy into. While also letting herself try and rest...

She would stay here. Perfect her snares, wait for The River Person to come back, make herself as okay as she could be so she wasn't a burden. She would banter. She would joke. Keep moving. Just keep moving. More importantly, though, keeping herself together.

* * *

 

Stay determined.

* * *

 

And there was silence.

Silence between Papyrus and Chara and it stretched on, though uneasy and imperfect.

As they were still just trying their hardest to simply keep accepting the other's presence. Though reluctantly. Reluctantly in the truest sense. But still somehow managing. But how do you continue after a conversation like that in anything other than silence?

How do you continue after telling someone you hate them, how do you continue when you tell them you're still supposed to? And both of them know it. How do you continue? How do you just go back into asking about favorite this and favorite that when there is just so much there to think about. Because how do you continue after that?

Though to be fair, Papyrus still wasn't sure how she was doing any of this to begin with and Chara wasn't sure of the point other than that she owed it.

But how do you continue? In anything other than silence?

And there was silence, as Chara's breathing calmed down again. As she regained herself from her break down, breathing in deeply. Not to cry.

Stay determined-

Though it was really, really hard and not fully her own, just an echo. A soft little tune in the air even if uncertain.

And she was an idiot to cling to it especially when she had no plans and knew everything was going to just get worse. But still. Stay determined. Determined.....

Even as both her and Papyrus continued to want to run, Flee. And there was silence as they finished up mixing the dough completely.

Silence as Papyrus had washed his hands and then stepped back as she had come over to wash hers, keeping a strange distance between them. Not too far and yet not too close.

SIlence. Tense.

Chara unable to think, unable to make up a question though she knew it was her turn- And she had started to become resigned to the silence..... As long as she kept moving. Silence but just able to keep moving.

Just move.... You have to, you owe it to Temmie... And Frisk... You cannot give up just yet.

Even if there is no end or goal in sight.

Just... Stay determined. You cannot give up just yet.

Just don't give up just yet.

Just keep going because you have to and just because you have to, somehow, someway, impossibly, you can.

And she's an idiot. She knows she is an idiot. But this is what happens when your heart is somewhere else. Your body keeps running no matter how hurt it is. And funnily enough, Chara knows it goes a bit both ways too. That she has other people's hearts inside her too.

They would want her to stay determined. Despite everything that has happened and everything that she did. They would want her to stay determined and somehow find her way back. She was the one who always came back.

The one who comes when you called her name.

She just had to keep going.

And Papyrus watched her, as she ran her hands under the water, her hands and arms still very shakey, and he knew her heart was racing and that she was just very hyperaware of his existence and his gaze... Aware of how much she hated him. Afraid of him..... She's always been afraid even when she told him she wasn't...

And he thinks it, the question is there, intrusive in his mind: When was the last time she hadn't been afraid?

And its not his turn. It's not been his turn for awhile now, but he can't help it... He asks it anyways though he is certain he knows the answer already anyways-

"How long..." He began, hesitating. But she doesn't stop him. Just pauses with her hands in the water, swallowing as she listened, her heart racing- "How long has it been since the last time you weren't afraid?"

Chara's stomach clenched, twisted again. And she knows the answer he is thinking. 6 months. Half a year. But she knows the true answer. The answer he does not want.

And the broken laugh came out of her again, still watery and teary, her head falling as she laughed, weak...............

"Never."

And Papyrus was frozen at the answer. And Chara did not move. Meaning it. She meant it.

Even staying determined. Even refusing to give up. Keeping moving. She's always been afraid. She's always scared. Even when happy, playful, surrounded by people she trusted, she is still always afraid and cautious of something.

Even if you dream, you still live here. This world, the way it is.

Something will go wrong. Eventually. All you can do is cling to what you have for as long as you can.

And she was always afraid.

She turned off the water, and dared to glance back in the corner of her eyes to Papyrus who was still staring at her. She couldn't keep his gaze and instead looked out the window.

He doesn't get it.

How can he?

They go to work each day like the Fight is just a job.... And then they went and brought it home with them just for fun.

Her.

 _Bought_ her and brought her home for fun.

Her head was falling again.

He didn't get it.

But he wanted to. That was the scary part. He wanted to get it....

That's why he hadn't put her back into the closet. That was why he was trying to be kind.

He wanted to get it. To understand.

But she doesn't understand why. It will only make this more difficult than it was. He wasn't going to help her and she didn't even expect him to.

Between her and his brother, it made sense to her. It's just the way it goes.

It's just the way it goes....

Chara shook her hands lightly to dry them... Not accepting the offered towel. Her head stayed down...

"I think I'm done with turns." She stated weakly.

Done with questions and answers.

It was just hard enough to be there than to add on trying to keep coming up with questions. She was just so tired... And it was hard enough to be out here still. To accept the other's presence.

She'd stay there with him. Out of the closet, watch him finish making the cookies, but she would let the silence stay..... She'd stop pushing herself anymore. She'd take it easy. To let the silence somehow be slightly less tense and uneasy. To just accept the other's presence. To accept that he wasn't going to hurt her though she was still going to be hurt... That would be her goal for now. Everything else ahead of her, something to work towards but first this one thing.

The one little goal. And she could keep going. Make little, tiny goals to keep her moving ahead. Everything she needed was already there inside her head. All the things given to her by the friends she has already had. Good little things, even though they hurt, but still- the light. The light and the determination of her friend. Still her friend. Her friend despite everything.

The friend she had to make it all up to.

She couldn't say she was sorry but she could stay determined. And be that idiot, keep believing, even though it was hard and impossible.

But she's been an idiot this long why stop now?

Either way, it couldn't hurt?

She can't die, it is not an option. She's stuck. Because if she dies it still isn't the end.

 _Oh_.....

And that thought made her laugh. Lightly, at the irony of it all. Even as the fear of what is going to happen to her Soul stays there in her chest. As Papyrus still watched her, having no clue as to what she was thinking about. Or what it was _he_ should think...

And now not even a hope of figuring it out except for handling these puzzle pieces she has given him, bits and pieces. Strange, peculiar, pieces.

And he just doesn't get it. Fathom it.

How one could always just be so afraid.

And yet stay so determined.

These complex feelings...

It's madness, he wants to reason again.

But he just does not get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, lol, why. I think I'm going to move Justice to after this. Because just.... yeah.


	53. Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  
> Justice too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little jumbled and I'm not sure it works exactly. But... eh.  
> Also. I say this a lot. But I mean it now.  
> Updates. Slower. School.  
> It's a thing and it is finally starting to feel like it.  
> Drats.
> 
> EDIT: I updated and then rotated chapters so the most recent chapter is actually the one before this??

_Undyne was a peculiar friend. That was for sure._

Papyrus didn't have many, if any before, really, but to be sure. She was peculiar and Papyrus knew it even with his limited knowledge in how this worked. But she was always so angry, yet cold too. Papyrus was used to Sans' outbursts. Temper. Her temper though.... Still there. But how her eyes pierced. But when it did explode....

That was the difference. Sans was always steaming, keeping it up with smiles and banter. Undyne was sullen and waiting. Watching. With everyone. Everyone but.... the two of them. Though it was not the same between them.

With Sans, the banter would come. With Sans, she was quick and sharp.

Sans had been the smartest person he's known.... But the girl gave him a run for his Gold. Maybe more than a bit of a run. Maybe it was the other way around. Maybe it was Sans struggling to keep up.

It only made his brother angrier.

But she was older after all, older. A single stripe when the brothers still had two each. Though not for long, Sans would remind. Not for long. Soon they would only have one too.

But while they were growing up, Papyrus still felt much like the little boy and he knew that he had a lot to learn. To change, still.

Because with Papyrus Undyne was almost gentle. Caring. Though almost, just almost. Because she was still a bit harsh. Keeping him on track. Reminding him just like Sans always did. He had to be more forceful. Not take the crap all the other kids were giving him. Not to be pushed around.

Training him. Just like he and Sans would train for Fights. She was training him for life. Helping him because he really was almost to a single strip. And she helped him-

Keeping him on track.

And yet..... he was still the only one who was allowed to see her cry.

He would never forget it either. Sans coming to the cot, poking him on the shoulder and tilting his head for him to follow. Though hadn't said why. Leading Papyrus to where he knew Undyne liked to hide out.....

And finding her in a corner, sobbing. Names, grieved, under her breath.

And Papyrus had glanced at Sans, cautious because he knew he was supposed to be. But Sans had brought him there. Silent without a word. And Sans had backed away, still not talking but Papyrus knew what he was supposed to do. What his brother wouldn't. Couldn't.

Sans had seen her crying but Papyrus was the only one allowed to.

And Sans backed away. Pretending he never saw her. For once, the one to pretend. And Papyrus for once didn't. Walking into the room.

And Undyne had looked at him so brokenly. Saying his name.. That same grief in her voice.

She had really needed a hug. And this time, he had the confidence and courage to take that chance.

And he offered her comfort, in a piece of himself. Telling her all about the dream Sans always talked about when the two of them were alone. Trusting her with it.

And Undyne did not laugh when Papyrus told her what Sans wanted. Not laugh at his dream of becoming a Royal Guard Captain. Even with his 1 HP. She did not laugh about the house. Or all the other things. But she had a peculiar expression, the tears easing.

But he had felt guilty as he talked. Realizing he was just telling her all the things she had just recently lost.... Such an idiot, what was he doing? Not like he didn't know the-

"How did the two of you get here?" She asked suddenly, as if out of nowhere, and he had felt as if everything was hollowing out of him for a moment. He shrugged.

"Neither of us remember." He said.

The first, out loud, lie.

But she had only sat there beside him, staring at him peculiarly. But she did not laugh. Only stared. The tears drying as she wrapped an arm around him.

And Sans had stayed hidden, standing and leaning against the opposite side of the wall, though Papyrus knew his brother was there. Felt him. Always felt him. Would not have been telling her any of this if Sans had not been there unable to stop him. And when Undyne and Papyrus finally started to stand up, Sans stepped forward, shortcutting away to the cot.

Weighted down but at the same time, somehow uplifted too. Someone else understanding what he wanted. Someone else... Understanding. Not laughing. For once he didn't feel that angry at everything.

But Undyne herself was standing with Papyrus, a scowl in her expression. Understanding perfectly. Not laughing. But at the same time... Angry. It would be the only time either brother would ever see her cry. Because silently, silently, she had promised not to do it again. Silently, remembered that she wasn't the only one with problems. And the anger in her chest that would not rest was much bigger than her. And she knew exactly who to blame.

Who to finally aim all of this unlocked rage she did not know how to focus except the general sense of _humans, humans of course_. No. She knew exactly who to hate.

She wasn't the only one with problems.

And it was so fucking unfair.

Unfair.

And she stood there in that hall with Papyrus, her eyes drying. And she stood there.

Determined.

Knowing exactly who to blame. Who to hurt. Fight.

To make pay.

And Undyne took everything with her when she left two nights later. Taking everything which still wasn't much, everything with her but the striped shirts. Leaving them behind and wearing one of the solid tops she had picked out for herself the day before at the thrift store down the road. Pulling it on over her head, tugging at the black fabric to straighten it out before lifting her hands. Putting up her red hair, tightly back.

And then she was out the window as everyone ate supper. Thinking she was just having one of her usual hiding spells...... Even the brothers.

She told no one.

And she slipping into the growing darkness of the night. Wound up and ready to strike. Knowing exactly who to blame.

Who did not have it in them to do what they had to.

* * *

 

"Wh-What do you mean you're headed to the d-dumps?" Her anxiety had been really bad lately, Sans had noted. The stutter getting more an more prominent. Vaguely, he felt concerned, but at the same time she was the strongest person he knew. Though she kept refusing his offers at having her go at the human. Stating, she needed her step back. Her tactical retreat.

(It was the last thing she needed in her life)

Something calm.

And he understood that. One needed those at times.

But not him. Not right now. He could not rest. All he wanted. Needed. Was this.

"Going to the dumps." Sans stated. "With Aaron and two of the others."

"Catty and Bratty." Alphys supplied immediately. She knew all about their escapades. She's even gone with them. But that was for the finds now. Not the hunt. The hunt foolish she knew from experience. But at the same time. The garbage- And yet. Yet. She knew Sans. Knew him so well.

Maybe he'd be out there for finding things. He had his workshop. But she knows he hasn't touched it in months. She knows how hostile he has been. That anger in his ribcage, she knows it from experience. Unable to wind down.

Though most do. Most do wind down on their own. The sickness distasteful and they begin to back off.

That was what she had done.

The first time.

Going to the dumps, her first few levels of LV and desperate to prove herself in her new position. Thinking the LV would help her cause. Only to... find herself chasing after actual children. Raging at actual children. Coming back to the same spots for three days looking for said children. Before realizing that was exactly what she was doing. All she was thinking about. Winding down by herself-

Well. Not fully by herself.

She'd met a certain.... someone. And going to the dump was no longer about the hunt at all. Well... Not for the same kind of Love.

"Yeah, Catty and Bratty. Those two."

"You hate them." Alphys stated, returning to the current conversation.

Because she was not convinced Sans was actually winding down. She wasn't sure he could- would- Her hopes that Papyrus-

_"Sans is going to kill her."_

_"Just like she deserves."_

The fact that they had Chara. Something to keep him wound up.

Everything was just very uncertain and she wasn't sure what she could do about it. If she could do what she usually did in cases where her soldiers did not calm and settle. What she had wished somebody had done to her that second time she had gotten caught up in the LV. Because then she wouldn't have killed somebody she hadn't meant to.

But she wasn't sure she could do it here. Because she is pretty sure it will only get Chara-

Well. They were going to kill her anyways. But they hadn't yet.

But-

Alphys forced herself to focus on Sans. On the current problem. Pushing Chara out of her head, again. Feeling guilty as she did. But focusing on Sans. On Sans. The Monster. The one she was in charge of. The one she was supposed to protect. Could protect.

"Yeah I hate them. They're all annoying as fuck. But can't exactly go to the dumps alone."

That was a good sign. Good. Smart. Smarter than Alphys had been the first few times.

She was honestly lucky the only people she had ran into were a couple of kids intent on running.

But that was a good sign. Sans sticking with other people.

"I'll be FINE, Alphys." Sans stated. Seeing her worry. "I feel great even. The best I ever have!"

Powerful.

He feels powerful, she knows. She knows how that works. Powerful. And yet hateful... She's seen the hate in him too.

But to be fair when she had seen it, Chara had almost just killed him.

Though she had Spared. Spared. Alphys knew that.

She had been so angry. Felt so betrayed. Seeing Sans laying on that bed. Wanting to rip Chara to pieces in that instant. So worked up until she had seen Chara again. Remembering. Feeling like an idiot. Like scum. Worse than scum.

She'd Spared Sans when she had every single right to kill them. Kill them all.

And all of this was Alphys' fault. She knew it. Knew it very well......

"I'm FINE." Sans stressed again.

And Alphys can't stop him. She's even done what he is doing. She can't stop him.

"Just be careful. Don't get... caught up."

"Well you could have just agreed to my little get together. The four of us. But ya didn't. So I had to come up with a way to have some fun on my own."

She had told him to rest. She was so _happy_ to see that this is how he had interpreted that.

"And if you change your mind. You and Undyne can just swing by the house and pick Chara up. Have a little fun after your date."

Alphys felt sick in her stomach.

"Maybe." She said.

Lying through her teeth.

Never.

She was not touching her.

And yet presented, pressured, put into a corner between keeping up her lie..... Would she? She didn't know. She did not want to know. Please, sweet Toriel, do not put her in that position. She already felt ready to dust knowing she had basically put the girl in this position to begin with.

Sending Papyrus there to the prison- And yet the fact that she had been in the prison at all-

Not just letting her... letting her go. Letting her go instead of taking her in-

But she hadn't been thinking. At all. Frantic as much as Chara had been. And caught up in her lie with another guard there-

"Come on, Alphys." Sans goaded. "She only deserves it. It's all her own damn fault. And we can't just give her a day off can we?"

"We'll see." She said. But Sans was raising a brow.

"You okay there, Alph?"

"Just tired... Which is what I mean in all of this: we'll see."

She prayed they all would not see. See her for what she was. A coward and a liar. Her whole life a lie now. All of it. And she had been so comfortable in it. Comfortable to play the part still because she had to, to keep the people she loved and to protect... protect....

Just... Staying comfortable in her lie.

All up until the day Chara had-

Her just standing there, collared and naked, in Papyrus' grasp.

 _Alphy's_  Karma.

Her punishment.

Her lie and the problem she had ignored spat directly back into her face.

And she felt like a betrayer to everyone. To her friends. Family, basically. To the girl. To her brother.

Definitely to her brother.

Especially since she hasn't had the courage to even look. To terrified about the answer to the question. Too terrified that she wouldn't like what she found. And knowing she was to blame for all of. Most of it... Some of it... Just wishing she could do more while then not doing anything either.

"Welp, I'm off. Wish me luck." Sans said, winking before groaning. Realizing who exactly he was dealing with all afternoon. "Fucking Aaron." Half wishing to just dust himself.

Alphys tried to smile. But she couldn't tell him, have fun. Like he expected. Like she knew she was expected to.

"Just be careful." She said again. "Please."

He only saluted her, jokingly. A joke. But there was a malicious gleam in the lights of his eyes. Heading off to join up with the others and be on his way.

And Undyne was waiting outside of the lab as Alphys swung by to pick her up. A smile on her face. And Alphys sat behind the wheel, as Undyne sat down, leaning over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Something wrong?" She asked though. Pulling away, though still holding Alphys' forearm with both hands.

"Just a little tired." She told her. Only half lie.

She does not tell about Sans' expedition to the dumps. She does not tell about his suggestion. To even think about the suggestion. Though the girl is still on her mind. Sans too. Though still, he is right. He may be fine. May wind down. May calm himself.

She doesn't believe it though. But still... She does her best to focus. On her girlfriend.

And it is as if their little spat never happened. But she supposes it hadn't happened, been a spat, in Undyne's eyes.

Undyne coming to Alphys' house. Smiling but furious. Alphys knew she had been furious.

Why hadn't she been told about the boys getting a human? _Papyrus_ getting a human?

She had not wanted Undyne to worry, she had lied. Part lied.

In truth she had hoped the human they got would be burned out and gone before Undyne even knew. Before Alphys actually had to deal with it. Sending Papyrus to the prison. Hoping he'd at least get a human with enough LOVE so she could try her best to reason to herself that it was okay to stay silent-

And then karma.

It was Chara.

In her face, karma.

Look at what happens when you just ignore?

So of course she had continued to try and ignore. She didn't know what else she was supposed to do.

But she had not wanted Undyne to worry too! That hadn't been just a lie!

But here Undyne was. Worrying anyways. Something about Papyrus. Papyrus coming to visit her unannounced-

"He just looked so shaken. He says he lost his friend. Have you heard anything about any of that?"

"I.... No." She stated. Honest. Entire honest that time.

"...." Undyne was silent.

"What?"

"... I just don't think he was being entirely honest with me." She admitted.

"But what could he have been lying about." Undyne stared out the window. A glare... Her fist tight.

"I can't prove anything. Besides.... I'm just worrying over nothing. Nothing...."

It was not nothing though. She just could not keep her guard down. She couldn't. Even as they got to the park in the center of the city. In the shadow of the castle-

Walking around....

The two women walking together at the park, along the glistening water. Undyne stretching her arms above her head, too cooped up for too long in the lab. And Alphys' heart fluttered at the sight of her. Her pony tail tight, and her outfit, the black jacket and the choker around her neck. The glasses gone. And Undyne put her hands on her hips, smiling back at her.

Knowing a way. A way to get her own guard down.

"You know what we could do? After supper?" Undyne asked.

Please don't say it, Alphys thought-

"We could head over to the brothers'. Maybe pick up-" Alphys wrapped her arms around Undyne, holding her close. Undyne looked up at her in surprise and Alphys just kissed her. Thankful for the opportunity. And thankful that she even had Undyne there. Though she felt awful still. Awful. Liar, coward. Everything she knew Undyne hated. Hated so much. A coward and unable to do what she was supposed to do.

But she kissed Undyne and Undyne kissed back, lifting her arms around Alphys' neck.

"The only thing I want to even think about tonight is you." Alphys told her. And she was honest. She really only wanted to think about Undyne. The good things with Undyne. Ignoring everything else.

"Oh my." Undyne nearly purred, still touching Alphys' cheek. "Somebody's feeling romantic. It's so sweet. But its also been so long since we've had a bit of fun with a human. Years. Just those couple of times. Sometimes I wonder why we stopped-"

Alphys was trying not to grimace. They had stopped because Alphys had hated it though she couldn't admit it. Hated it. Never liked it. Why had she ever sent Papyrus to the prison without having him back down?

"And trust me. I know this human, she only deserves the worst."

Wait. What?

"Y-You know.... how?"

Undyne kept her arm wrapped through Alphys, walking along the water. Alphys' heart racing. Having asked but not wanting an answer. Afraid of it.

"She came to the lab."

And that was it. That was the answer Alphys did not want. Want at all.

The lab. Being at the brother's. The worse possible outcomes. And a far, far cry from the Labor that Alphys had thought she was getting into. The best outcome Alphys could get for her. With her LV.

But if she had only just let Chara go, not taken her- Ordered the other guard to turn a blind eye. To at least try. To pressure. Anything. A coward, a coward, she was a coward and then she hadn't even made sure Chara got to where she was supposed to.

Someone intercepting her, pulling her back to the prison after Alphys had left. Either just because of her LV and somebody thinking it too much work to deal with.

And then somebody looking at her and sending her to the lab on top of it. Her, a child, a teenager who would still be wearing a single stripe if only she would have been a Monster-

"How-?" Alphys couldn't trust her voice.

What was she doing at the labs on top of it all? How had she been sent back?

"How did she get out of it?" Undyne asked. Bitterly. So bitterly. "She got Asgore to send her back."

Alphys stared.......

What?

The King....

* * *

 

Undyne made it to the castle by mid-day the next day. But waited. Waited to when you could get into the castle for free in the afternoon. Slipping in an hour before it closed, the light growing dark again... And she slipped past the bound rope. Hiding herself. Hiding herself in a corner. Waiting for the bustle of the castle to wind down. For lights to go darker.

And she picked herself up, working herself around..

She knew who was to blame for all of this.

She worked around the throne room, not daring to enter. But she wasn't paying attention enough, or perhaps the person in the room with her was just too out of sight. Grabbing her from behind by the shoulders.

Undyne had gasped, with holding her scream. But her Defense spiked. Her Attack. She tried to twist around, her magic forming, long, light blue-

Undyne was released and she turned around, the Monster who had grabbed her towering over her-

"There is no need to fight." The rumbling voice stated. "But both of us know you are not supposed to be here, I am afraid."

Undyne kept up her guard, eyes piercing.

The Monster towered. Voice rumbled. And they stood in the shadows together, the Monster hidden even more in the large black cloak over its form.

"The throne room is in the other direction." The voice told her. She growled.

"I've seen it." She told the cloaked individual. "And she isn't the one I need anyways. She's worthless to talk to." The Monster's head lowered at this. She didn't think the Monster was even looking at her anymore but at the ground or perhaps her feet.

No, she knows who to blame.

The two of them.

But one of them was completely worthless to yell at. For all they said she listened. Said she cared. She was no Goddess. Undyne knew it. She'd seen her before. So awed and spellbound like everyone else. But where had she been when Undyne had begged her in her head. As her family dusted. As Papyrus and Sans probably lost everything too, or maybe never even had the chance to have everything.

Nowhere. She'd been nowhere. Here. In her crystal throne.

If she really cared, all powerful. She would finish the job.

"She won't listen and everything they say is bogus. She's no Goddess! No. I need The King. He's the one who could listen."

".... How about I go make you some nice tea?" The Shadow Person offered. Undyne snarled.

"I need The King."

"Perhaps he will join us." They continued. She fumed but obeyed. Knowing she really was not supposed to be there and tea was probably the best she could hope for. Better than being in real trouble.

Though she could still be that too.

The Shadow led her towards another room. Full of light. The Shadowed entered into the light, only to look darker still in the contrast. And Undyne gaped. The flowers. Everywhere. All different types. Water.... A large double door but she knew, this led out directly into the river- Wait.

She looked back towards the shadow who was pulling out items to start a fire.. to make them some tea.

"I know you." She realized. "You come to the park sometimes. You give rides in your boat. We went once."

"You were wearing stripes then. I assume you should still be wearing a stripe now."

He...

"You remember?"

"I always remember." The man said. She knew it was a man. She could tell somehow. She looked around the garden.

"Are you the gardener?"

"If I can... Though not so much recently. I've been on the boat more. It seems to be what I need more and more. Each time."

Each time?

"I haven't seen you in the parks.." Then again she hadn't been to the park in awhile either. Especially not since.

"Well I have not been to the parks. Just.... out. Moving..." Undyne huffed.

"Thank you for the tea." She stated, watching him starting to make it. "But I didn't come here for this. I came for The King!"

"And I just got back and am very tired only to find a child with LOVE in the corridors. Demanding to see The King but with no knowledge as to why." She hesitated, looking downwards. "My apologies, I did not mean to hurt you with my words. Someone your age with LOVE is very unsettling... To think something has forced you-"

"The King. It's his fault. And hers for starting it and not ending it while she could! And I need to see The King."

"And what would you do, I wonder?"

"Fight him. Force him to end The War once and for all!"

"And what makes you think he can do that? Would do that? It would be very riskful to our own units to have them sweep the valley."

"Everyone agrees we should anyways!"

"Hmm...."

"If the King would just do something! Take the risk!" The anger was working through her. Consuming her. "It's their fault! All their fault! My family is dead! They are all dead and it is their fault and if they had just done what they needed to at the start! A long time ago! This would all be over and no one would have to suffer!!!"

"Many would suffer."

"Humans would suffer!" She snapped. "And that is all that matters!"

The Shadow looked directly at her.

"They could end everything! If they really, truly cared!!! End it ALL! They have all the power!! They have to end this war! Before more people get hurt! The people-"

Papyrus. Sans. Sans who wants to Fight. Papyrus who will Fight with him. Neither of them ready for that. Sans, mentally yes but physically no. Papyrus physically but mentally he'd be torn to shreds.

"The people I... I'm starting to care about could get hurt again! And the King can just end it now! AND HE JUST IGNORES EVERYTHING! STAYING IN HERE AS EVERYONE ELSE PAYS AND DIES!"

"..... I am sorry, small one. I understand your pain... But you have a few things... confused."

"Confused?! There is no confus-" The Shadow Person was lifting his hands, the cloak pulled down.

And suddenly. She can see him. The King. There. She can see him and she has to wonder how she could ever have been blind to it. It was so obvious. She scanned the cloak again. Looking so ordinary now but she knew. Knew.... Something different about it. Magic-

But her anger was rising, directing itself directly at the....

The old, tired man in front of her. Not old, really, in body. But he was greyed out, as if someone had sucked him of all of his colors. And tired. So tired. And his eyes incredibly old. And even more tired. Weighted down. Like he would collapse at any moment.

"I am not the one in charge anymore, child... Not for a very, very long time. I cannot be..."

And The Queen.... So radiant and splendid, yet-

Undyne's shoulders slacked. The Attack easing out of her. She looked down at her feet, ashamed.

There was silence.....

"Come... sit with me." The Old Man, King.... He invited her. Motioning to next to the fire. She obeyed. Coming and sitting, crossing her legs. And he offered her a cup of tea. She took it. Holding it tightly. The warmth there, nice.. But she just felt cold, not looking at him. Only over the flowers. So many different types she did not know the name of. Overgrown and unkept in some places. "I am sorry for your loss, child..." He told her honestly.

"I'm sorry for yours." She whispered.

"I wish this conflict never started." The anger was starting to return.

"No." She said darkly. No. The War. It was exactly what humans deserved. All of it their fault. They deserved it!

No Mercy.

That was why _she_ should have ended it.

No Mercy.

Not to a single one.

* * *

 No Mercy...

And yet.

And yet!!!

Mercy.

 _Undeserved_ Mercy.

"What?" Alphys breathed. Undyne was still furious. Furious. But she did her best to relax and put her head on Alphys' shoulder. Forcefully keeping the anger at bay.

"You know he means well." She admitted. "But sometimes.... And it **just**..." Undyne's grip on Alphys' shoulder tightened. "He never comes down to the labs." She said darkly. "He hates it. It takes so much out on him. And I know him. I love the old man to pieces. But this is the first time he has ever came down- and to send her back! Her specifically.... **_Chara_**..." Alphys nearly jumped out of her scales.

A name.

A human name.

Undyne never said a human name. Only some part of their numbers. Or some _given_ name. Not the 'chosen' name, she called them. The human's name. True name.

Never any names.

Undyne was looking out at the water though. Her mind somewhere else but piercing. Piercing and angry. Her grip tight.

"He came down there specifically to grab her and I know it." Undyne seethed.

Mercy to a single child in her lab, coming down to her lab specifically to spare this child. And she knew it. Had run himself into the ground trying to find this child in a haystack of numbers. To find a single. Fucking. Child. To use that much energy when he knew he couldn't handle it.

Running himself to the ground-

Her fault. It is her fault!

And then on top of it all: **Stay determined**.

She would show them all  **Determined**.

Undyne sighed, though the rage still there.

But Alphys, she felt winded.

"Wha- Wh-Why would T-The King...?"

The King of all people? Alphys did not understand.

"It's complicated." Undyne stated, her gaze serious though. Still out over the water. And Alphys couldn't help but think about how much she has used that phrase lately. To hide behind it.

"But you understand at least some it now, don't you? I want her **dead**." Undyne said dangerously. "Long, drawn out. Dead."

Alphys did not... understand. Not knowing what to say.

"He's too soft a heart." Undyne stated. But she thought of Papyrus- "Both of them are too soft a heart... And she is one of those damn worms. Getting into it. Causing problems. Ones Asgore can't afford! Can't handle!"

"I d-don't... understand." Undyne was smiling at her though. Furious, so furious. Cold. But smiling.

"I know you don't." She stated sweetly. "And you shouldn't understand. There are just too many things you don't know. And I'm sorry. This time I can't tell you. "

And she had told Alphys about Gaster. This had to be something-

"It would probably only infuriate you. Knowing some of the things he does. But I promise, he does mean well. He's just too soft. But it isn't so important... All that you need to know is that she deserves everything Sans is giving to her. And when she's finally dead she'll get everything else she's due."

All the things The King had very specifically gone out of his way to keep her from-

Alphys... did not understand.

The connection between The King and Chara- Why- And Undyne...

But if he went out of his way to get her from the lab? Then why wasn't he doing anything now-

Oh....

"Is The King... Is he...."

"Asleep again." Undyne said, something sad in her tone. Though so furious. Alphys only nodded.

Silence..... Silence and Undyne having more difficulty breathing. Having difficulty breathing. Needing another pulse of suppressing energy through her.

"..... Something's different this time." Undyne admitted, not looking up. "I'm not sure he is going to wake up...." Alphys' heart lurched.

But she took Undyne by the shoulders. Hugging her. Knowing how much all of this always pressed on her. How much more important Asgore has been to her since.... well...

Undyne kept her head against Alphys' shoulder as they walked. Heading closer to their dinner date. And Alphys let her. Knowing how upset she's been. Asgore being really hard on her no doubt... And that was why Alphys couldn't be honest. Not risking Undyne losing someone else. The person she thought Alphys was. And why Alphys couldn't be honest, because she couldn't lose Undyne either. Because Alphys knew. She was now one of those people. Who could not do what she needed to. And she didn't even have Asgore's excuse.

She was just a coward. A doubtful coward. Not the person Undyne thought she was. That they all thought she was.

That she once  _was_.

Someone who could do..... all of this.

And if she is honest. Just honest.. She is afraid Undyne will vanish. Like smoke. In front of her. Melt in her grasp. Leaving her-

Because she's a liar and this entire relationship has to be a lie because of that.

"I just want it to be us. Just a relaxing night for you. Just you and me. No work. No humans or grief or anything else. Just you. And me." Alphys stated. Not lying because it was more than half true. And Undyne sighed. Agreeing. Reluctantly.

Anyways....

For all she worried about the human. Papyrus. She knew she shouldn't. Not as much as she did. She knew...

She trusted.

* * *

 _Sans was so furiously angry. Laying on the cot._ Alone. Angry at her. Leaving. Just leaving.

But at the same time... anger at her not taking them with her. Even as he understood that to. Why she hadn't. Too many people. It was why he didn't just run with Paps. And Paps adamantly stating it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. It was just- Sans was restless. Restless. Wanting to go. Even if staying here was still their best opportunity. And not on the street.

Sans briefly wondered what the hell Undyne had been thinking... Yet at the same time...

Just angry. Angry.

He'd thought there was a silent understanding. All in this together. Paps between them. And had just started to truly trust her. Like her even. Putting down a few guards... Letting go of his protective, fierce smile. Because he had thought she had really liked Papyrus. Really his friend!

He could see that she had really needed a friend....

And she just... left. Left! Not a word! Not an explanation....

Fucking bitch.

And yet..... The memory of her crying. Just days ago.

....He hoped she was alright.....

A part of him still trusted that she had meant everything she's done up to this point. Meant it to Papyrus...

* * *

 She could always trust Sans to do what needed to be done. He was too much like her. Better than her... She knew. She trusted Sans. He'd do what needed to be done.

And Sans sat in the car next to Aaron, a scowl already on his face from the company. Just anxious. Anxious to get started. To get out of here and into the air. To finally. Finally. Just get to the bottom of this. Make them pay.

Someone. Pay.

Fight.

To hurt.

Destroy.

Chara a start. But not enough. Just simply not enough.

And Undyne agreed. The two of the same mind.

And she trusted.

Even if something would go wrong....

Well....

Nothing. Would go wrong.

After all, Mercy had been shown the girl and look at where it had led her? Just down an even more torturous path.

She didn't believe in a Goddess anymore, but something was out there. Something. Karma. Keeping everything on track. And all she had to do was keeping moving forward and finally. With patience. Justice would come back.

And any shred of Mercy torn to pieces.

* * *

 

_The anger was rebuilding inside Undyne._

"Who? If not you then who? Who _is_ in charge?" She asked. She was regaining momentum. She would fight them... Whoever was playing with all the strings.

The Old Man smiled sadly. So sadly. Looking down at the boiling tea.

"A few people." He admitted.

"Who do I face?"

The King... He stared at the fire. And he opened his mouth but Undyne knew. Could tell. He was not trying to answer her question. To say something else- But all she wanted-

"WHO?!" She demanded, standing up again. Wanting to know. Needing to know.

But the room- It was suddenly. So stifled. Cold. The light almost as if it was dimming-

"Your majesty?" Undyne gasped, turning towards the voice...

And she had thought, the cloak, Shadow.

It could not even compare.

The man behind her. Tall, thin, face white and yet somehow. A sliver of looming darkness.

Of course. Of course. It made sense to her. Who was in charge. Of course....

Standing right in front of her.

But the anger did not return. She only stared.

Cold. Dark.

That same feeling that has been inside her chest ever since she had been forced to Fight.

And she leaned in closer.

 _Drawn_.

 


	54. Megalo-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ready?  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I updated twice, really close together. JUST so we all know. (But like who can blame me??)
> 
> And also.... I am totally moving Justice between this chapter and the last one I posted. Justice goes right before this.  
> To be fair, half of this was written awhile ago, right after Justice. Which is why it was so easy to finish up. But like... We got sucked back to Papyrus and Chara because I realized I wouldn't be able to back track to them if I did. Either way. Just. Yeah.  
> Yeah........

No one could truly understand how all of this feels.

Being that powerless. Feeling himself dust and that making up nearly half of his existence, so close to it being repeated for good once again at every moment. His entire life. His entire life weak and powerless and so close to death. Just one hit. One single hit.

Dust.

They couldn't understand it.

Knowing that one day, maybe without any warning, he'd just fall apart again. That it's all going to be taken from him again. Leaving his brother alone. If he didn't do something. Didn't make a change. Or what if even worse, it happened again! He almost died, and someone brought him back, right back here, but without any memory of what he'd had before-

That made Sans determined to give it his all in every way.

And yet.

Just days ago, even after gaining LOVE. Getting closer to his goal. But not enough, not enough! Just days ago on the floor of his own living room. 1 HP.

That bitch, laughing-

**_"How can you protect your brother? If you can't even protect YOURSELF?!"_ **

Sans wanted to be strong.

Had to be strong.

Powerful.

Admired, even, perhaps.

But overall. **Strong**.

Strong. Powerful.

To answer to no one. To be able to do what he wanted. To protect. Protect and give justice.

He's been patient. And finally he was there, on the brink of everything he's worked so hard for.

His left eye, the magic burning when he let his mind drift. Blue and yellow magic racing through him, his Karmic Retribution just in reach. He was going to make this trip worth something. Even if he had to tear the dumps apart to find it. Lift up every rock to find all of them crawling underneath.

But he was just so irritated, wishing he had taken his cycle to meet up with all of them. Why he had agreed to be in this car with the three of them he didn't know. Bratty and Catty were chat, chatting away, obnoxious just as usual. Talking over each other and it would be a wonder that the two girls didn't scare off everything in a 50 mile radius if they kept this up when they got there. And Aaron kept making jokes that weren't witty and winking in that way he did that made Sans kinda want to gouge out his eye and give him a reason for it all. Just. Stuffed in a car with the three most obnoxious people in the Royal Guard. And one of them a captain just like him no less and it just didn't make sense.

No wonder they never got anything done. But he'd known that already. About how they were.

And maybe he agreed to go in the car with the three of them because it made him so irritated, helping him work himself up. Get ready.

And also. Being with them, he didn't have to figure out by himself how to deal with the border.

There was the wall, the entrance, or perhaps better to say exit, to the city. Guarded on both sides, one of the rivers, Mercy, running along side it. Leading the way directly to the dump almost. And Sans... He questioned this.

He understood in theory why the dump was out here. It being just far enough away from the city while at the same time close enough for the people who actually worked there. Worked.. in the main area. The more recent area set up, Catty and Bratty explained to him.

You shouldn't go there, they told him in that joint obnoxious way that they did. You totally should not go there, you needed to go farther out. To where the older stuff was and the river and waters fed it, bringing out some of the newer stuff. But.

But.

While that was what you should do. The safe thing to do. You could totally get some awesome rad stuff if you were smart. Crafty enough about it. You could get into the main, more current area and not get caught. And if you had a Royal Guard uniform and nobody was really paying attention, you could go through some of the stuff that was scheduled to burn. Or before other things got buried. You just had to be careful enough to not get caught.

But still Sans questioned this set up.

Because they got out of the city so easily. Being asked their business which was a stupid question because where else would they be going???? There was literally only one thing out there of worth that Sans could think of. But they just said the dumps, and gave the guard a six pack, like some unspoken obligatory sacrifice, and the guard asked nothing else.

And Sans questioned it. But he supposed Monsters going in and out like this made no real difference. Because the guard just gave only a soft reminder, that they were risking their own necks out there but whatever, and Sans questioned it a bit less.

As long as they kept the humans out what did it matter about anything else?

It wasn't like Sans had never acted unprofessional before. In fact if he was stationed here.... You know what, he would be exactly the same.

He gave a half salute to the guard who simply ignored him and put the pack in his inventory and they walked away.

The car abandoned, just inside the city wall, taking it any farther along the road would have been simple madness.

From what Sans understood, the Monsters working in the main section of the dumps were some of the highest paid Monsters with the risks they had to put up with.

Even higher than the Royal Guard... Except for the Royal Guards that were stationed there, the best of the best because of the risk. Those with the highest LOVE.

He half wondered if he could get Alphys to transfer him here eventually.. If it panned out the way he wanted. He knew why she hadn't, wanting to keep him close as he eased into it. And also as to not worry Paps too much. There was that too.

A trip or two would have to work for now. A trip with a group of the most annoying people he knew. A group of Flowies could irritate him less. But there he was stuck with 'em.

And at least they knew the way.

Someone had laid purple lines along the way, like tracks, making it for easier travel. Just needing to hold on and let yourself be carried along with just a tiniest bit of magic applied to it. But the lines only went so far and soon they were walking.

And so far... Sans wasn't impressed.

He could say that this place really was the dumps.

Just piles of trash, the smell, and in the distance the sound of water. Piles and piles of trash, the landscape dull and greyed out. These areas definitely no longer used and having been picked through. And it made his magic twist. Race. Knowing that it could have very well been humans. Though this area was still too open, the trees behind them and signs of civilization in the distance.

"How deep do you guys usually go?" He dared risk asking.

"Like! The river! Gosh, Sans!" Bratty stated.

"Yeah, totes, the best stuff gets carried there."

"From the main section, ya know?"

"It's like- a total garbage store out here."

"But totally super free."

"And it's not THAT dangerous, you know? If you just stick together?"

"It is TOTALLY cool to have you with us."

"Yeah! It's just been us for a long time now."

"Now that Alphys doesn't come out here anymore."

Sans couldn't fathom _why_.

"OH TORIEL, Alphys."

"She was like a big sister back then."

"Yeah, I mean, if your big sister.."

"Takes you on trips to the dump."

"She showed us the coolest places to find trash."

"Does she still have all those weird cartoons she collected?"

"Who knows, ya know?"

"And then she became the Head of The Royal Guard."

"Yeah, yeah! And we hardly ever see her anymore."

"Like. Feels like FOREVER."

"And Undyne-"

"Eesh."

"Like! Live a little, gurl!"

"Yeah!"

"Like us!!!"

"But like, I've heard she's working on some super, duper, deep shit, ya know?"

"She's always been working on deep shit, it never goes anywhere- Ever!"

"Yeah, I know, but like, I still get so super hyped thinking about it."

"Yeah! We're just super hyped for the destruction of humanity!"

"Like! Super!"

But not willing to really help do it themselves, he noted.

But Sans was so glad he didn't have ears because he would have been bleeding out of them by the end of this trip.

And for as much as he loved Undyne, he doubted she had anything that potent up her sleeves though she would wish it. If there was any wiping out humanity that would come from the Guard.

And he didn't see that happening any time soon from the guard at the city exit. From the lack of action from basically everyone at this point. From this fucking cornucopia around them of waste and basically free shit they were giving humanity. What the hell?

The closer they got to the river the more it surprised him. Just at how much was out here.

Whose idea WAS this?

And yet. His thought for before, when they had said all the good stuff was along the river. That meant there was the best chance at humans along the river too. And maybe, just maybe that was the point.

The way this was set up. He wondered if he were to get a birds eye view, and maybe he would risk it later.... But if he could see it from above, he'd be able to see it for the maze that it was. The deadly puzzle.

The _trap_.

An endless array of bait to lure them closer to the city.

Right into his waiting hands. The Execution Points- Free EXP.

And here, off duty, and in the middle of nowhere. There wouldn't even be any boring reports to write about it like the time at in his position. Getting to LV 3 in one go. That rush of power. Killing two humans at a distance- Humans who'd had to have LOVE themselves if they gave him that much.

Because that was how it worked. The more LOVE you had the more Execution Points you gave. Power gave power... A true cycle. And oh how it had filled him. How it had stayed, how he wanted more. More and more, finally at his goal, the end near in sight! To finally have what he wanted and a scoop of finally handing out some sort of justice on top of it!!

But he had to wonder what little thing he had done wrong recently to deserve being stuck out here with _them_.

They were going to drive him absolutely _batty_.

"But there is like, really good junk out here to pick up."

"Catty, what we pick up! It's not JUNK. It's really valuable. We don't just pick up ANYTHING."

"Yeah, you're right! Our garbage is REALLY valuable."

But so was his sanity.

"How far apart can we split up?" He asked. "I didn't come here for any garbage. Valuable or not."

And finally, Aaron came back into the conversation, offering a wink before he even spoke.

"We can go as far as you want to, Sansy. The girls got themselves some flares."

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"I like! Totally found a gun in a dumpster!"

He couldn't help but notice the very real lack of dumpsters out here which only meant she'd been digging through someone else's trash on top of all of this. He just... didn't want to know.

"But we had to get bullets for it ourselves. And like, we got flares and Aaron's got one too and we should be good as long as we keep the river in mind."

"Yeah, like, we should be fine. Groups of two and if there is trouble-"

"Bang!"

"Bang!"

Oh Sans so hoped there was trouble. But he knew he needed to get himself as far away as he could from the girls if their chatting wasn't going to scare everything away. If they hadn't scared everything away already.

He'd never been more anxious to go anywhere with Aaron of all people in his entire life. Not that he would ever tell the asshole that and he would still just prefer to be alone.

But they reached the river, the sight of it, wide and the waters quick. And it honestly shocked him to see it though he wasn't sure what he had been expecting. Mercy was polluted beyond heck. He doubted there was any fish in this area. It was nothing like it was upstream in the city. The same with Compassion in the heart that ran along the castle and the park by Muffet's.

The waters looked nothing like this and he was having difficulty making sense that this was the same river inside the city. Though he knew that magical wall at the city entrance that ran across the waters was for toxicity he hadn't... He just hadn't thought it through. The water looked nasty. But he guessed it didn't fully matter if the only ones it affected were the humans living out here...

And if you were worried about the fish it was too late now!!

And he turned to the others, though.

"I'm going to try and get an overhead view with my shortcuts and blaster." He had a theory to test and it would give him an idea of the layout better so he wasn't so dependent on them.

"Hmmm. I dunno." Aaron cautioned.

"You'll be seen." Bratty offered.

"Yeah, I thought you'd want to be, like."

"Stealthy."

"And you'll use like- lots of magic, right?"

"I think I'll risk it." Sans stated. It wouldn't be that long.

"How high can you go with those things anyways?" Aaron chanced. Sans smirked. Actually smirked for them that wasn't forced, magic racing through him, the power as his left eye blazed gold.

"How about let's see."

And his Soul reached upwards, reaching for a shortcut. And he disappeared in front of them, cutting through space like a play thing. Sans reappeared in the air, twisting to see the ground bellow him already and he felt a spike of exhilaration in his ribcage as he began to fall.

"Wooooo!" One of the girls, or maybe both in unison he realized, called out.

"Yo you go man!" Aaron called up. The trio seemingly genuinely excited. And Sans was for the first time thankful that they were there. But also regretted that Papyrus was not... This would have been a lot better. Papyrus and Alphys. Undyne. People he actually cared about. But no matter. This would have to do-

And he reached upwards again with his Soul. And he shortcutted again. Higher.

And he thought he could still go higher. Even though his group was tiny bellow him. Just one more time. He could do it just one more time. And then the blaster could do the rest.

His Soul reached- And he slipped through the void, reappearing even higher, the dumps sprawled out in front of him. And he had never been more thankful for having basically died. The only thing it had given him was this- This one ability. Just slipping through the cracks in the web of space-

He reached out a hand, this time downwards, his magic flooding through and out of him, summing the blaster. The skeletal dragon-like skull bellow him and he settled on top of it with a soft grunt, slowly starting to descend towards the others again. But he looked out across the dumps, slightly breathless.

The piles of trash, some thinned out from time and from having been picked through by so many. But he could still see it, especially the closer you got to the newest area.

The deadly maze of trash and water. Getting thicker the closer to the center. More close together. More tempting and crowded and dangerous. The maze twisting and turning, dead ends in the design with no real, true, predictable pattern.

Somebody had designed this. Specifically designed this. Designed it to lure, to trap.

Why go hunting through the trees and the hills of the valley? When you can make them come to you?

Sans' smile twisted. He read adjusted his scarf tighter around his neck, and it gave him better access to his pocket. He reached in and pulled out the tablet he kept there for emergencies. He broke off a bit and put it under his forming tongue, letting it begin to dissolve. Preemptive.

Because you see there are several uses for the tablets. The reasons he had always been prescribed them to begin with.

Health the most vital, but also the magic. A Monster's entire being wrapped up in their magic. And if he didn't need the healing then, well, it helped bump his HP, from 1 to whatever his body could manage. 5, usually. If he was well rested.

But also. The magic. The extra store of magic. Racing through him. And if he focused he could rechannel the potentially healing magic, all of it into his Attack.

And how it made him feel fantastic. And he knew... anyway it went. He was about to have a grand time.

And he could already see them, a group of little insects, unsuspecting shadows a few piles away from his own trio..... His excitement spiked even more, smile twisted.

He patted the top of the blaster's skull.

"Ya ready big guy?"

There was a low rumble, a spark of magic in the blaster's mouth. The blaster totally in sync to his intent, his Soul. Just a mere extension of himself. And both were anxious, excited, ready for everything and anything.

Hell, let everyone see him. Let them all know.

His era of evasive tactics and being forced to flee was behind him. There was only power ahead of him. Strength. Finally a power to be reckoned with.

Let them all know what they were dealing with.

The _terror_ he would become.

"Let's give 'em all a _warm_ welcome, huh?"

And he knew the other three would probably not approve, but it didn't matter to him. Nobody could deny him this feeling inside his chest.

Sans stood up on the blaster, his magic spreading over the area beside him and several other blasters joined him. And the attacks shot out across the dumps towards the shadows-

The pile closest to the group came apart at the top, raining down on them, even as the other blasts struck true and direct, there was a sharp, surprised scream in the flashing of light.

But there was also a large, cheering whoop he could hear as he got closer to the ground, from his own trio. It seemed they weren't upset after all, and it only made Sans smile more.

Especially as he felt it. A rush of power. The EXP. He'd gotten at least one of them.

And there it was!!!

LOVE 4. Finally his. **Finally**.

"Oh man!"

"Oh Toriel!"

"Dude! That was fucking insane looking!"

"Just bursts of INTENSE everywhere!"

And Sans was clenching his fists.... His smile, that one probably wouldn't grace it with a description.

"Heh." He said, watching the carnage in front of him still. The power, oh the power racing through him- "Always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first."

 


	55. The Worst Possible People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a quilt of perspective and a bit jumbled.
> 
> Genuinely: IDK.  
> But also genuinely: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
> 
>  
> 
> I probably won't update all week again this time. Essays and test and such. Blagh. But thank good for Sunday.

And Papyrus and Chara were rolling the dough into little balls to put onto the trays. Little dabs of dough. Though maybe not as little as they should have. Though neither of them could know that yet.

And he was futilely finding himself trying to come up with anything to say. Because she had said, No more turns. Resigning them both to silence. Her one, tiny, little goal... To just be there, enough to keep her going. And alive.

And she said. No more turns. None. There are no more turns and before that he had taken too many turns that were not even his... but he just.....

"Can I ask... one more thing?" He dared. She stopped, daring to look back up at him and then shrugged.

"You just did." She murmured. Papyrus stared. What a childish thing to say- Oh wait.

He laughed softly, deserving that.

He remembers he has done the same thing to her.

But he really, really wants to ask her.

"Chara...?"

The sound of her name makes her freeze again and he realizes he's done it without meaning to. Though he knows he has started to use her name again before this. It's just... strange. Difficult. Like his name to her. His name....

Scared and uncertain in her voice.

Papyrus' shoulders fell.

He's the worst possible person. The worst...... He doesn't deserve to ask it.

He gave up and went back to putting dough onto the trays. Putting one of them in the oven, leaving the two of them with nothing else to do but wash their hands again and stand there awkwardly.... Tense again. Staring at each other, the world seeming to hold its breath.

"We can... watch." He stated. She tilted her head. Curious or uncertain. Which word fit best?

But he motioned towards the oven, taking steps back. And he found himself almost excited, switching on the oven light. It's been awhile.......

It was part of what he liked best when using the oven. Being able to see inside. He kept the glass as clean as possible just for that... But it has been awhile, because it can backfire. If your creation begins to come out poor.... Something interesting transformed into disappointment and self loathing....

But Chara came closer, her uncertainty shifting more to curiosity. Tilting down to see inside. The future cookies easy enough to see.

She bent down, holding her knees in that way she does, watching inside... just curious enough. Though he can see her heart still racing inside her neck as he began to sit down. As far as he could away from her while still being able to see inside. There was no sound as the minutes counted down.

This was always calming to him... Watching... And he can only hope that it is calming to her... Though he suspects it isn't. Can't be. With him there. And there is nothing he can do to....

His head was falling again... His elbows resting against his knees, his fingers wrapped together. And his head, fallen. Not even watching the oven now.... He wants to put on his jacket again. To hide away in his hood... His hands let go of each other and they are at his head, the sides of his skull as he continues to stare ahead of him, at the base where the counters met the floors.

..... He was just the worst. The worst....

_"Do you.. hate me?"_

_When was the last time she hadn't been afraid?_

_"Never."_

He's the worst.

Because no....

No, he doesn't hate her.

He doesn't. He doesn't think he ever really did. Only when Sans had been on the floor- 1 HP.

But she had been so scared, in the corner scared and he had faltered- And she is scared.

And he doesn't hate her. And he hates the fact that she has always been scared....

And he is the worst. The worst, the absolute worst.

The worst possible person....

* * *

 

_And Undyne was drawn._

_Drawn._

_His figure was thin and dark in front of her. So dark and cold and the air stifled with what felt like static around them_. Electric and just needing the slightest touch to erupt into something powerful enveloping them. Powerful. You could feel it. Powerful and strong.

And Undyne stood there, knowing _this_ was the person in charge. The one she would want to talk to. To make her demands.

The tall, sliver of darkness with a pale white face and even darker eyes. A twisted mouth.

This was the person....

And yet. And yet....

He was staring right through her, as he came deeper into the gardened room. Staring at her, their eyes meeting. The darkness in his sockets yet even darker as Undyne was breathless. As she stared upwards, as he loomed over her.

"And who might this be?"

"This is Undyne, a child I've met before at the parks." The King behind her began, how strange to hear The King's deep voice edge into uncertainty. "She came to.. well it was all just a simple misunderstanding-"

"No." Undyne cut in. "Not all."

There was a burning coldness she couldn't describe that let her stand her ground. Knowing she was standing exactly where she needed to be. She had gotten her target wrong but her goal was still just the same. Even if she was uncertain now as to what she was dealing with. This being in front of her so much like her own Soul and she could feel it. Like her, yet bigger, darker in every way too.

Dr. W. D. Gaster.

Royal General.......

* * *

 

And scientist.

General. Scientist. Advisor. Mentor.

Ruler.

 _God_.

* * *

Demon.

* * *

 

_And Undyne had stood there, standing tall._

"I came here looking for someone but I was mistaken as to who."

"Oh? And who may I ask is it that you are looking for, child?"

"You."

"Well you have my attention at the moment. Do not waste our times."

"Gaster, she'd just-" The King tried but Undyne flooded the air with her own magic, demanding their attentions as she clasped her fingers together in front of her and she kept her gaze piercing on the darkness in front of her. The long, light blue spears formed around her as her fingers released and she held her hands out to the side, ready to guide them.

"You will tell me why you have not stopped the war." She demanded. "Why you haven't wiped them all off the face of the planet! Why you have shown Mercy!"

The King and Queen, she somehow understood. Their weakness. But this man in front of her. There was none of it there. A darkness that drew and yet sent a shiver down her spine. With her magic.

"I'm tired of nothing happening! I'm tired of all of us hiding behind our walls and waiting for something even worse to happen when we could do something! To END it!"

Her teeth were grit together, her stance defensive, her magic at the ready. Though she knew it was laughable, her fighting this.... But she would not back down.

"I do not understand how you could lack the courage to do what you must." She finished. And she felt half small and pitiful under his gaze. And yet, he did not laugh at her, though he smiled. And he offered out a hand.

"Come with me."

"Gaster, no. I refuse." The King said seriously, standing up and standing behind her.

But The General was calm and collected.

"Refuse, your majesty? I did not think this was your decision. It is hers, is it not?" The King turned his attention back towards Undyne.

"Young one, this is not something you want. Let us talk and let me take you home."

Home.

She snarled and she reached for Gaster's-

"This is exactly what I want."

But The King was pulling her away before she could reach her goal.

Undyne turned on him, sending a spear in his direction. Only for him to disappear from where he was, and reappear beside her as she barely had time to gasp. And he stood there. Between her and The General. The King had his back to her though and was staring The General down. The King's faded and worn appearance did nothing to stem the heat of his gaze in this moment.

Undyne held her breath, the sight of the two of them, The King's intense stare and The General's sharply angled, black smile. And The General bowed, slightly. His dark eyes closing.

"Of course, your majesty."

"No!" Undyne snapped. The General turned away from her though, from The King and from her. Undyne summoned more spears, encircling all three of them together, desperate to not have all of her work to get here be a waste! "I will not be ignored!"

"You will not be ignored, young one." The King informed her. "But the way you are going now is not the right path."

"I don't care!"

It was the correct one.

The King and The General were both watching her. The King with a stern but somehow sad expression. The General unreadable. But she could feel his attention.

"Young one... Let us go finish that tea and discuss this." The King's voice was so tired..... Pleading.... But her eyes were drawn again to The General behind him. A hand. A finger lifted. Gently against his smile. But only for a moment or two before it disappeared.

Undyne faltered, uncertain at the gesture. And yet.... Her racing magic was calming. Patience, the gesture offered. Patience.

Patience.

A promise for future answers.

As the dark figure left the room and left her there with The King... And she was completely at a loss of what to do now that everything she had anticipated in coming here had fallen through at her feet.... Except a single promise.

But... She wasn't one to wait back silently, she was one to act and to Fight. And yet...

"Come." The King stated calmly, she can feel the relief off of him at having her and The General separated.... Undyne looked back over her shoulder towards The King, his hand out reached now for her to take. A gentle smile nothing like The General's... But kind and well meaning.

Which was his problem.

Too kind. Too well meaning. It's gotten people killed. Even if he was not in control. Somehow, it has gotten people killed. And that stirs her desire to Act.

The King was nice. Kind. So kind, truly.

A lot like Papyrus she realized... Too much like Papyrus...

This was why he was no longer in charge, she also realized....

Kind people can't do what it is that they need to. Have to. They can't do it.

They are too kind..... Needing someone there to guide them. Teach them. Give them the strong sense of justice they lacked. Too caught up in Mercy....

And this is what Undyne had learned the day her family had been slaughtered and what she held close.

Mercy and Justice could not co-exist.

And she had a thought...

Patience.

Mercy and Justice could not co-exist, but that gesture of the hand, The General's submission to The King's will..... Patience. If one wanted Justice, perhaps sometimes, it required patience.......

Patience.. It was not Mercy that kept humanity alive, it was patience.

Though she still did not know why.

But she was resolved to find out.

And she took another sip of tea. And though it went against everything inside her very being. She gave in to it. To patience.

Because if honestly, she didn't have much of another choice and that was what she had to do, she could do it.

And the cup was warm against her fingers, helping just slightly. The steam... The smell... Helping her to calm and collect herself. To gather her thoughts. Her patience.

Patience.

But oh how she was bitter every second of it. Wishing it was easier and faster to learn.

And she only half listened to The King as he spoke. Doing his best to reach into her, to support her spirit and teach her something.... But he could not break through. He would never fully break through. No matter how many times he tried. She would not change her mind.

And some extent, past a certain point in the future.

She couldn't afford to.

This is what she had to do.

And if there was anything else, she would do that too. No matter what it was. Or to who.

No matter what anybody said of her.

 _Demon. Whore. Witch_.

None of it would matter.

Nothing could distract her from her ultimate goal.

* * *

 

Sans stayed on top of his blaster, the air full of smoke and horrible smells as the four off-duty guards gathered to look over the carnage of his first attack together. The carnage and the smoldering body-

"Eeeeew." The girls went together, huddled close in disgust. The body was face down against the ground, that horrible burning stench and Sans was glad he didn't have a stomach.

"Gross!"

"Absolutely gross!"

They didn't even have the decency to dust and went on making messes even when gone, was the general consensus Sans was getting.

But for Sans that was the least of his concerns-

There was no doubting, this was his kill, and that accompanying power-

To think that just a few moments ago this smoldering, disgusting thing was scavenging through this place, a small little group of them together. And yet, the others wouldn't even mourn, would they? Too caught up in saving themselves. Humans the fucking worst.

Deserving this and more.

And the body smoldered, a light purple tint to the rising heat... And that made Sans' smile twist even more.

Karmic Retribution. It was a rare, difficult magic. One that Sans had taken the time to painstakingly learn. Hours upon hours upon hours training with Undyne as Papyrus watched and remained ready to spring into action, to heal. Hours upon hours until the sun was going down and only stopping because Undyne had to go to bed, to be awake the next day, to continue her other studies- there was always something-

But Sans had taken the time. Mastering it. Shaping his magic effectively. His very self- because that was what magic was- so closely linked to your Soul.

Your actions, your intent.

Karmic Retribution. Violet, persistent poison. Allowing him to use his weak attacks more effectively. Not 1 damage per attack, but 1 damage per a certain numbered value of time that this attack was in contact with his opponent. Bone bullets, his blaster's attack. Even lingering after, worming its way into the opponent's Soul if Sans willed it, willed it strong enough. Working past the opponent's defense- invulnerability grace after an attack- 1 damage made effective, sometimes 30 times a second.

Karmic Retribution.

Coursing through his opponent.

As they would be judged.

Judged for their every action.

EXP.

LOVE.

Doomed to death by Karmic Retribution.

True Justice in magic form.

Though it could not kill in itself. Only drain. Needing a true, intentional attack to strike the finishing blow.

A hammer of Justice to swing, it seemed...

And Sans was smiling. A smile too twisted to describe as he pulled his attention away from the body and looked ahead of him. Ready. Focused. Nothing could distract him. Everything he wanted laid out before him.... Nothing could stop or deny him of his ultimate goal.

* * *

 

And Alphys was inside the city, watching Undyne across the table. So in love and yet wanting so desperately to say something but she can't. She really can't. Too afraid and a coward. Wanting to do something and yet she _wouldn't_.

* * *

 And a few hours before, in the brother's kitchen. A certain question Papyrus wouldn't ask though he desperately wanted answered-

* * *

 

 _Sans stayed fuming in his cot_ , _fuming and worrying but deciding it was more important to fume over it._ Worrying over Undyne, someone who wasn't coming back, was pointless.

Though he knew that meant fuming over it was pointless too...

Sans only sighed....

And a few minutes later, Papyrus had come back. Sinking beside him. Both staring at the ceiling and the peeling glow stars that didn't glow anymore anyways....

"She had to go and leave and make a mess for us on top of it!" Sans fumed. Trying to draw Papyrus out, because Sans can feel his brother's sadness in his silence. And it also let Sans vent. Because the moment it had been noticed she was gone, gone, not just usual hiding gone, who had been the ones bombarded with questions? Papyrus and Sans. But Papyrus didn't raise to the bait and Sans sighed again. Knowing it was lost. That wasn't the type of person Papyrus was after all.....

And they stayed there in silence as everyone else stayed out, enjoying the last few rays of sunlight and moments before they were all rounded together for bed. And Sans didn't let himself wonder and worry where Undyne was going to sleep... She ran, she would pay if she hadn't taken the time to think about it. Not his problem...

Not his....

"Sans?" Papyrus said suddenly, hesitantly. Sans hummed in acknowledgement, inviting his brother to continue. "Are we bad people?"

"Bad- What?!" Sans sputtered, sitting up, glaring. "No." He said sternly. "What the hell? Especially not you, where did this come from?" He demanded. Papyrus' face was unmoved though Sans could see the tears at the corner of his sockets.

"Then why does everything seem to go wrong just when things look like they could maybe be good?" Sans' shoulders fell.

"This ain't your fault, Paps.... Undyne just..." And even for all his anger at Undyne, too... "Undyne just needed something different."

"But she didn't say anything."

"And look at how we were grilled today? You really think you could have been able to lie straight enough about knowing nothin'? Nah. She didn't say anything so she couldn't get you in trouble, Paps."

It is strange. When one fumes to themselves, it is easy to ignore the most logical of answers. And yet the moment it comes time to explain it to someone you care for, it all becomes quite clear.

"There was just something she needed...."

"Well she could have asked me and I could have helped!" Papyrus offered. Sans shook his head. He had no answer this time that he hadn't already provided.

"I don't know, Paps.... But you gave her all that you could that she needed already. It's not your fault." He reiterated. And he sank back down against the cot. Staring again, his shoulder pressed up against his brother's. "It's not our faults...."

And there was silence for another moment...

"Sans...?"

"Yeah...?"

"Do you think... even the worst person can change? That anyone can be a good person if they just try?"

"................" Sans finally sighed and closed his eyes before he breathed out again, "No."

He felt his brother slack in disappointment.

"And you shouldn't think that either." Sans stated. "It's just going to get you used.... Sometimes.... Some people are just too twisted beyond repair."

"Oh..." Papyrus felt heavy. But he... He resolved himself to remember that. To try and accept it. Tried to put the idea out of his skull; the thought.... But it had just been something he's been wondering about lately. And he thinks that is it. The main difference between him and the others. Why he is just so wrong all the time. But now that he'd figured it out.

Yeah... He'd just have to remember that.

The worst person...

* * *

 

"Papyrus....?"

His _name_ in her voice. Scared. Uncertain-

And she's _always_ scared. He still didn't know how to adjust to that. To make of it. Her entire life afraid- Chara never having been unafraid...

And yet, if she was brave enough to risk it, to say his name, Papyrus owed it to her to lower his hands and look at her. And he did. He could at least do that one thing...

"You can.. ask that question if you wanted...."

And all he could do was stare at her again..... Feeling very torn yet hollow.

He doesn't hate her and he hates that she is scared.. And he just....

Papyrus shook his head, looking down again, feeling broken.

And there is silence.....

Until the timer goes off and he is looking into the glass of the oven.

"Oh... I guess... we made them too big." He said when he actually looked. And when he opened the oven door. The edges were done but the insides were not quite.... He frowned. If they kept it in longer it will burn but if they took it out... Oh what the hell did it matter. He pulled them out in defeat and threw the trays onto the top of the oven.

Chara stared at the cookies, feeling just as defeated.

She can't do anything right.

And she thinks it all before she can even stop herself and tell herself, stay determined:

She's an idiot and all of this was useless. So useless. Just no use.

Though she dares not believe it fully still. She can't afford to believe that fully. And yet... She feels heavy.

If all it takes is a misbaked batch of cookies to break her determination for even just a moment....

She has to face reality.

Promise or no promise. Determined or no. She can still die. She's more than likely going to die. And after she's dead-

"Papyrus..." She tried again, weakly, as he fumbled with the tray.

"We have to separate the dough a bit and put them onto another tray." He was pulling out another from beneath the oven, not seeming to have heard her that time.

And she stepped in beside him, her fingers shaking as she obeyed, swallowing as she tried to work up the courage. Anything- And she risked slipping a piece of chocolate chip into her mouth. The taste- the one good thing- the sweetness on her tongue, the best taste in this world- And she clung to it, refusing to gag. And when they were done separating the dough and she was washing her hands as Papyrus slid another tray into the oven. To try it again. Trying again though both of them were frustrated-

And Chara stood, breathing in shakily as Papyrus stood up. He stopped, noticing her distress and his face fell.

"What is it?" He asked, just softly enough, maybe just worried enough, to maybe hint that maybe just maybe he'd....

"Can I ask... a favor?" She asked, feeling the tears already in her eyes and she hates it again, hates it.... And she can see him hesitate. Cringe slightly.

"W-What?"

And once again he is running through a million expectations in his mind. All the things she can potentially ask him. That he is almost just waiting for her to even though he has blatantly told her No.

To fight Sans. To save her somehow. To help her- Or other little things too, and he just-

But of course, just like everything else, she has to go and throw him off guard.

"When... If I die..." She began, her hands close to her chest and Papyrus can already feel his would-be-heart sinking. "Please.... My Soul..."

........Oh.

 _Oh_....

Undyne.

Of course, Undyne.....

And yet his magic was racing and he just cannot comprehend Chara standing right there in front of him.

Out of all the things she could ask- The bigger things he has been dreading, and this... This is the only thing...

And he finds he can't answer her. His voice is stuck-

How can that be the _only_ thing she asks of him? In all of this? Everything around them. After their conversations.. And that is the _only_ thing.

His entire life being told humans are there to manipulate and this is the _only_ thing. The only bit of Mercy-

To save her Soul. To save her Soul only after she was already _dead_.

After she _dies_..

And he..!

This was a mistake..

And Papyrus was fleeing again. Out of the kitchen and into the living room. Leaving Chara alone...

And Chara choked up, biting down hard against her bottom lip.

So..... even that was too much to ask....?

And it really hurt. Hurt deeply because for once she had expected him...

But of course, of course, of course..... She's an idiot. Always expecting these things. She'd done it with Grillby too, pleaded for something more than she should have ever anticipated. And she's just an idiot. It's all useless.

It's just no use. No use at all. Why keep believing? Why stay determined?

Why was all of this so hard?!?!

Why did she keep putting herself through it?!

Each time!

Believing. Loving. It only got you hurt. Hurt and it was pointless, useless, all of it useless!!!!

And she was reaching for the cookie trays, anger racing through her, and she was throwing them. Throwing them all onto the ground. And idiot, she grabbed the one that was hot, but her anger too much, throwing that one too. She knows she has broken something but she doesn't care. She hasn't broken enough! She should have meant it!

Destroying all of you, when she had said it she should have meant it!

Mercy, she should have let Sans die! She should have taken it all!!!

And yet, she thinks it and yet she can't truly mean it. But she should!!! They were the worst! The worst! Torture and rape and eventual murder and her Soul in a little glass jar. Her very self. Her entire being. In a glass jar, useless and worthless to him still even after seeing her!

They deserved pain and torture and the worst of everything because they were the worst! The worst justice and no mercy! Not a drop! Not a bit! Justice!

She only wanted one thing! One!

To just be able to die.......

If she died she just wanted it to be the end. To rest...

She's just to tired... Tired... So, so, so tired....

Chara was sinking to the floor, resting up against the side of the island. Her hands in pain from the burns and she was crying again. She's been crying.

"I'm sorry." She said again. "Temmie. Frisk, I'm sorry...."

She can't stay determined. It's just too hard and it is just too much. Up down, up down, no rest, nothing consistent and making sense at any moment. And she just...

She can't stay determined.

She's sorry.

She can't get back....

And all she can do is cry... Gripping at her arms with her burned fingers tightly and pressing up against the side of the island.

And she tries to hum. To hum a tune. Any tune. His tune, her tune, any little tune, don't give up or hopes and dreams. Anything. To collect herself. But all she can do is cry.

She was all alone.

And all she could do was gasp when Papyrus came back. All she can do is gasp, staring up at him in terror as he grabbed her firmly, forcefully and began to pull her forward.

"Wait." She cried, pleaded.

It couldn't have lasted she had known but she hadn't expected the fall out this quickly and before Sans had even come home-

And Papyrus took no time, no hesitation, dragging her through the living room by her wrist.

"Papyrus..." He only walked quicker at the sound of his name and she found it difficult to breathe as they neared the closet.

But they passed the closet.

He was aiming towards the bathroom with the light on. Steam-

Her stomach dropped when she saw the tub of green, healing water. Her breath hitching as he pulled her closer despite her dragging feet. Terrified. Terrified of what he could possibly do to her that would require her to need immediate healing. Her stomach twisting, this unexpected twist back to cruelness-

But he had never said he wasn't going to hurt her. She was the one who'd decided that. Interpreting it from his Intent- But she had thought- Though she's an idiot, an idiot, an idiot-

And he held her wrist tightly, pulling her over the water and summoning an attack, a thin sharp bone knife like he had used to cut the vegetables earlier, and Chara felt herself breaking apart again, not knowing what she was going to do- All of it hurting even more keenly after how the day has gone. The progress she had thought she had made crumbling beneath her feet-

As Papyrus held her wrist painfully tight, the knife above it as he kept her wrist above the healing water.

But he was frozen. Holding his knife above her wrist, the tip of it against her skin. Her wrist above the water. But he was frozen. His knife against her.... Her left wrist.... Staring at it and breathing quickly. The hesitation there.

Her left wrist.

Chara.... Her eyes were widening. Her voice stuck in her throat. Eyes wide, staring.....

The two of them standing there with a knife against her left wrist as they both struggled to breathe....

Papyrus had told himself: Be quick. Don't hesitate. Be quick.

Acting quick to just grab her. Just grab her and give no time to second guess himself. And he had told himself to just do it. Get it over with. Stop over thinking. But now. Now here with the blade against her wrist.... The healing magic already bleeding through him. He knows... If he does this- He knows.... 

"You'll just bleed to death." He breathed. And he dared, risked, looking at her. The wide, red, disbelieving eyes. And the tears forming in his own sockets. "You'll just bleed to death."

The tablet's healing magic was too general. Not focused enough to be controlled like he would need to work. And his own magic. Him as a conduit even... If it had been before, when they had first met, the irony of it, if he had done this before, he could have done it. Difficult still but he could have at least felt like he could have done it, but _now._..

"You'll just bleed to death." He said again staring at her wrist.

She really would just bleed to death. He doesn't even know where the chip is in her arm. Hell he doesn't even know how big this chip is. It could be miniscule and they could never find it- And her wrist- A human wrist, he doesn't know how that works, what if he cuts something irreparable?

"You'll just bleed..."

And even if she didn't. What would he do then? Where would he put her? She would pass out, be so weak, there would be no way for her to run. And Sans would be home and he would see her wrist because there would be no way for Papyrus to heal it fully, to not have it scar at least even. He'd see. And Papyrus can't.... He still can't.....

He can't fight Sans. Even now...

He's never even faced Sans in a spar, the only training he could ever bring himself to do with his brother being healing and blue. But attacks, real attacks even without intent, he can't, he can't , he really can't... He'd freeze. She'd die. She's going to die.

He does not want her to die.

She does not deserve to die.

Does not deserve to _be_ here.

And yet... And _yet_....

He lifted his gaze again, staring directly into her wide red eyes-

"I don't know how to save you." He whispered.

And the words echoed in her mind.

_"I don't know how to save you."_

Chara's head fell, Chara breaking as she let out a loud sob..

And Papyrus can feel it. So clearly. Feel it.

The relief.

Papyrus did not understand.

He grabbed her wrist tighter as he bent closer to her level, as she pressed the knuckles of her free hand against her mouth.

"I can't save you." He told her, "I don't know how to save you. Why are you relieved?! I don't know how to save you. How to change, I don't know how-! Chara-"

"But you _want_ to.." She managed through her tears.. "You want to-"

And that is more than she had ever, ever anticipated. Even more than she had ever dared to hope or dream...

And maybe he couldn't save her, maybe he couldn't, but it was no longer adamantly that he _wouldn't_.

She was not _alone_.

"I'm not... I'm not alone."

And Papyrus was gaping at her again,

"Oh." He breathed, realizing that once again he was an idiot and the worst. He was letting go of her wrist, and just... And for a moment he can only stand there. Gape there....... His shame so acute.......

This person in front of him. Who had never had a house or a bed, he doesn't think. Who never had a place to settle down because it is too dangerous. Humans and Monsters. Never having a chance to not be scared since the moment she existed. Saying having people important to you only got you hurt but he knew she did in fact have them, people she loved, people that kept her going even while causing her the most excruciating guilt and pain. This person in front of him who wouldn't even ask Why this was happening to them. Who wouldn't even ask for him to save her. Accepting his answer so easily, readily. And he was the worst, he's the worst, and this person in front of him... This person he had refused to even see as a person fully until today. The strongest, bravest person he knows and he hadn't even seen her, hadn't even accepted her as a person-

And he has to say it. He knows its been banned but if he is already the worst person then he might as well-

"I'm sorry." He said. "Chara, I'm so sorry."

"You don't... You don't get to apologize." She reminded. "You don't d-deserve-"

"But you _do_." He whispered tightly. " _You_ deserve it."

She took in a sharp breath, the red eyes looking upwards, toward his face, uncertain, always so uncertain and scared and she doesn't deserve to be like that and she deserves-

And he wanted to run again but he's run enough and he is going to run later he knows so right now. Right now he will not. He may and will later but not right now. Because she deserves it.

"You deserve it." Papyrus told her again. "You deserve the apology. You deserve to hear and I think you need to hear it so I'm going to say it. And keep saying it. I'm sorry. I'm the worst person and I don't know if I can change or any of us can change or even how to start and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.... And I'm going to keep saying it but..." He paused, the girl's expression wide with still, disbelief and she can't seem to breathe. "I'm going to keep saying it." He continued sadly. "But you never have to forgive me... I'm going to keep apologizing so you can remember you didn't and don't deserve it and I just... I don't get to be forgiven. That's the rule. I don't get to be forgiven...."

And it is crushing, so crushing. But he is the worst and he doesn't deserve it and he never will. What they did was unforgivable and he just doesn't know. He really doesn't know... How he is going to get her out of this. Because everything he thinks of is just going to get her killed. By the very people he loves most....

Because Sans **_does_ ** hate her, a terrifying restless hatred. And Undyne. Oh Undyne....

Anything he does is going to get her killed because he won't be able to do it confidently enough. Hesitate-

But just standing there is going to get her killed too.

She still may very well be killed. She may still very well die...

And he really, really does not want her to die.

She does not deserve to die.

This is not justice. It was never justice. None of it. Even if she had somehow deserved it...

And Chara was crying, burying her face in her hands. Realizing that..... yeah. She had needed to hear it. She had really needed to hear it.

And this is madness, just madness. All of it madness.

And she doesn't want to. Can't stand it. But at the same time it is all she has to express all the things that are going through her.

So she lunged forward...

Papyrus was tense, extremely tense, not having felt this attack coming... But it's not an attack. It's just madness. Madness. Her wrapping her arms around his neck. Her wrapping arms, tight, and her shaking back as she continues to cry even as she hugs him.... Hugs him.... 

It's sick. It's sick, still, sick, and mad, and Papyrus can't understand...

But if this is what she needed.

Papyrus lifted his arms slowly. And slowly, he hugged her, holding her against him but this time it was her doing and this time- he's not going to hurt her. He's never going to hurt her. He doesn't know what he is doing and she deserves better than him, but he isn't going to leave her alone in the darkness either. 

But he can feel her shivering, and he knows she is forcing herself to keep holding on and he pulls away. She can't keep forcing herself like that, making her self sick with the memories. Especially when she doesn't want to be touching him to begin with. She's just hurting herself in all of that.

But she is still shaking, needing something, and all he can do, is offer her his hands.

And she was gripping at them again, tightly, even as he does not hold her tightly back.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I just don't know what to do."

How to change. Where to go and who to ask for help. And it is sick that this is the person she is stuck with. The worst possible person and he doesn't know how to change. If he even really can.

And all he can do at the moment is keep letting her hold tight to his hands for support. But now that he is looking, he can see, now, the red skin on her fingers and he frowned...

"What did you do to your hands?" He whispered. And Chara laughed. That laugh she does at odd moments and it only made the sadness in his ribcage worse. As she continued to softly, laugh through her tears.

"I'm sorry." He says again, this time not sure what for exactly but knowing it still needed to be said. About everything. And she knelt down beside him as he helped her work the healing green water over her blistering skin.

And he just did not know what they were going to do.

And that was why he had taken so long to get here to begin with. Because he really, really did not know what they were going to _do_.... Because he didn't want to admit it but he had to.

He wasn't the only worst person they had to contend with.

* * *

 

* * *

Sans and Aaron had broken off from the girls. Each eager to get to their own findings. The girls, a bunch of trash and junk- valuable junk- And Sans...

And his smile was still twisted in that way you would not want to grace it with a description.

Oh so eager to get to the point.

EXP...

 _LOVE_.

* * *

He wasn't the only worst person they had to contend with.

And Papyrus doesn't know how to change himself let alone the others..... He just doesn't know how...

...... Not realizing this was exactly it.

Just _choosing_ to do the right thing.

Even if it is in no way the _correct_ thing.

And this was just the first step.

Just being willing to _try_.

The only way to at least hope to have a chance.

For him..

And for all the people that he loved.

* * *


	56. Father Figures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paralleled Figures  
> Foiled Figures
> 
> Who knows anymore its all a bit of a blurr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of time. Mostly a reward for getting my midterm out of the way! Yay!

_Anyone else, upon having personally been fed by The King of Monsters_ and given a room to sleep in for the night- In the castle- _The_ Castle- _The_ _Crystal Castle_ \- Anyone else would have been ecstatic. At the thought, Papyrus too she could imagine. A smile on his face, wonder in his stare. Even Sans would have taken to it, smug and smiling. A gleam in his eyes.

Wrapped up in the Where.

But Undyne wasn't anybody. And she wasn't Sans. And she was surely not Papyrus.

She sat there angry still, and hating. None of it fair but she was holding onto the silent promise offered to her as long as she stayed patient.

And she sat on the bed provided for her, watching The King in the door, just in the threshold of the darkened hall; little soft glowing lights along the wall. And he was asking her kindly once again if she was settled in alright. The same sad but hopeful smile- Undyne once again thought of Papyrus.

"I'm fine." She told The King.

Fine but not settled. She was not at all settled. Nor was she at all as others would be.

Wrapped up in the Where but Undyne was trapped keenly in the What.

Why.

And Who.

But most importantly the inevitable How.

There was an unsatisfied Fight still in her chest.

But The King nodded to her reply, still smiling kindly, sadly.

"If you need anything just ask."

"You know what I need." She told him sternly. The King shook her head.

"It is what you think you want and I assure that in the end you do not... And it is the very opposite of what you need." Undyne grumbled under her breath at his words but didn't speak up. "Goodnight, small one." He said. "Rest well."

Rest. Just rest...

"Goodnight." Undyne grumbled back, loud enough to be heard this time.

But once he is gone she waits. Awake. Waits.

And yet The General never comes back for her.

* * *

 

 _It was a month later, after the encounter with the raft on the water_ , with Temmie by her side, and Chara's decision to stay where they were. To stay. Hold on to something. Just something. The camp with the meadow and the apple trees. (Three now, they had found..... Though no apples from any of them yet, but she knew they would come with patience).

And they stayed there together, as Chara did her best to continue to rest. As she let herself at least, if still not okay, then at least just a bit closer to it. In the fact that she wasn't alone. With Frisk there. And Temmie... by her side. Nearly constantly by her side though she has started to let him stay with Frisk at times when she goes off to quickly check her snares (nothing yet, she can't quite set them up in the right spots to catch anything other than a Temmie).

And her willing to leave him alone with Frisk for a few minutes is already a far cry from her original stern rule of him never being alone with Frisk.

In fact it is now reassuring. To have someone she can leave behind with Frisk. And it lets her drift off farther and farther into the woods, her mental string that ties her to her brother getting longer and longer. And she knows that is what she needs for the snares to work. To be farther away from camp. The commotion and noise and the constant sense of their presence.

And it is easier with The Temmie there.

Though she knows still that if it came down to it, Temmie would just save himself. But having someone there. Maybe it wasn't safe still. But safer. Safer. Always safer and that was all you could hope for.

And with Temmie. It was safer.

And it was such a bizarre thought.

Safer. And also, she knows how much Frisk hates being left alone to wait for her to come back. That fear never having left him.

But with The Temmie there, at least he wasn't alone.

And The Temmie was by their sides.

And Temmie is by her side as she is by the water again, and Frisk is there too, cooling off with the summer heat bearing down on everything in the hottest part of the day when it was almost too hot to do anything _but_ swim.

Even Temmie had gotten his feet- paws- wet. And he seemed to hate it at most times. But she suspected that with fur that thick the water was just too tempting. Even if the fur was also probably half the reason he hated the water to begin with.

Not only was it simply too heavy when wet, he also looked like a drowned rat almost, as Frisk and Chara had discovered when they had splashed him a few days before.

(On accident of course. It had been a complete accident. Right, right of course it was an accident, which is why the two of you had continued to do it several times!)

And Chara had hid a reluctantly smile as Frisk had only shrugged. But you could tell that The Temmie hadn't really minded.

Well maybe a little. A bit of pride Chara could detect.

"But the _cat's_ out of the bag now." Frisk had reasoned to Temmie's protests to swimming with them later.

Temmie had glared at the _pun_ of course. The cat-dog-or-at-the-very-least-it-seemed-Monster did not appreciate it. Or at least pretended not to. Yet he had been the one to feed into it the most in explaining what they were to Frisk. Giving a name to the concept the child had been picking up.

And it was amusing to Chara, though some of them went over her head at times.... She wasn't sure where Frisk had picked up on some of the things he's said. But it was harmless enough and let him smile.

(But oh, oh would she later regret the addition of the Flirt)

(What a meaningful conversation)

(Bane of her existence!)

And the sun was hot. The water cool. Chara floating on her back, her eyes closed, willing to rest as she listened to Temmie banter with Frisk. And she was smiling....

She was glad she decided to stay here... despite the risk.

And she just so wished..... She could stay here like this forever. The three of them and where nothing would go wrong.......

"Chara." Frisk's voice was urgent. Chara opened her eyes. On high alert. And she let her eyes dart over to where she could see Frisk was indicating. A dark figure on the water. And this time there was no hesitation. No repeated mistakes. They were all out of the water and into the brushes. Not a sign of them there on the shore as they hunched waiting for the form to pass.

And Chara held her breath.

"Did you think it was The River Person?" She asked. Frisk shrugged.

"I couldn't tell."

"It... could be." Temmie said. Chara's heart pounded in anticipation. Hoping, really hoping that it was him. Worrying.

And the moment the figure came into clear view Chara let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

He'd come back.

And the moment she saw the otherwise empty boat except for The River Person clearly enough, Chara was out of the brushes-

"Wait." Temmie hissed. Chara ignored him, this time certain, she would not miss him again like she had the first time.

"Hey!" She called, cupping around her mouth. Frisk was joining her, doing the same.

"Hey!" They called in unison.

Chara held her breath again, but the hooded figure was turning his attention quickly to the shore. And quickly the boat changed directions, pulling closer towards shore. Chara was tense, feeling sheepish again. At how worried she'd been for no reason. He'd been fine all the other times before-

"Listen." Temmie said, behind them again, lowly. Frisk drew his attention back but Chara's eyes lingered a moment on the water- "Listen!" Chara finally obeyed, glancing curiously at Temmie's near desperate tone. "I'm an idiot."

Chara frowned, not having expected-

"What's wrong?" Frisk asked. "What'd you do?"

"No, not- Not that." Temmie stated. "But I'm an _idiot_." He stressed. "HOi, i'm TEMmie. Got it?"

Oh... Oh Chara had forgotten their Fight, how he had acted. Like a fool, bumbling around like an idiot. She'd forgotten in all the time they had spent together and he acted normal.

"And that's for everyone." Temmie told them.

"But The River Person-" Chara began. "I trust him- mostly- And I don't trust anyone. He'd-"

"Everyone." Temmie stressed. "Everyone. **_Especially_** The River Person."

Chara didn't understand-

But The River Person's boat was finally to shore and the trio turned their attention back at the sound of the forming trident anchoring it to the shore. Chara pushed back her confusion about Temmie, resolving to ask later but willing to do this one thing for him. And Chara stepped forward, trying to smile as she came closer to the boat. Smiling though she tried not to betray herself to him and her former worry.

But The River Person did something she hadn't expected, that caught her so off-guard. Something she had only seem him do to help people with their things on occasion.

He got out of the boat.

With startling speed he got out of the boat. Speed- Chara was certain she had blinked because that was the only way she could comprehend what she had seen. That she had missed his step over the side of the boat in her mere shock of the action.

And she froze mid-step. Tensed as the shadowed, hooded figured towered over her. Only to swoop down- quick- not a moment of hesitation or waiting- and encompassed her with his arms. And held her tight.

Chara was tense, unable to breathe at the action. Her mind static in shock as she was forced to stare up at the bright blue sky. She was tiny compared to him, her maybe ten year old body wrapped in his thick, basically-tree-thick-like arms. Though they are soft and warm in comparison. His hand supporting the back of her head. She was completely wrapped, technically she should have been trapped, felt frantic to get out. She should be stifled in the warmth, the heat of summer already pressing- But somehow- And she felt him tremble-

The smile she had been trying to make for him was gone and the tears were in her eyes again. Somebody-

And yet- He was pulling away, the warmth pulling away.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm scaring you." He started. "I was just so.. scared as well that I would not find you. Or worse that you'd..." He shook his head. The hooded head falling forward, not looking at her as he let go of her shoulders. But she so wished he would hug her again, she'd never felt so much warmth from anyone but Frisk- Someone caring that much.... about _her_... Coming back for her- "I'm sorry." Was all he said though. And Chara hated the fact that she didn't have the confidence enough to hug him herself.

But there was Frisk, coming in, as if he could see it- and maybe he did- maybe it was there on her face- And there was Frisk, coming in without any hesitation. Grabbing Chara's hand, offering her some borrowed strength as he walked towards The River Person, lifting out his free hand.

Like toddlers she saw in the camps. Some with their mothers or fathers or occasionally both, even. Toddlers lifting their arms in wanting to be held. The River Person seemed shocked, as if surprised but it was Frisk why should one be surprised. He put his hand in magic fire. Let Monsters out of her snares to let the tension pass. And the moment The River Person began to respond to Frisk, reaching his arms to wrap around the boy, Chara rushed forward too, doing her best to wrap her arms around him, unable to say the things she wanted to.

But still The River Person felt sad though relieved-

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I truly am sorry... There is only so much I can do. And I could not find you and I was just getting so tired I could not force it any longer- And I was just so scared you would be lost by the time I woke up. Because I could not still be there for you like you needed- That it would happen again. I am so sorry."

* * *

 

And Undyne was there alone, in the darkness of the room. Growing more and more restless. Restless. The wait making everything inside her worse. She'd stood by waiting for answers all evening, holding off but unsatisfied. She'd thought-

But no matter how much she wills it, The General never comes.

And she simply cannot rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come with me and we'll be in a world of a bunch of flashbacks.  
> Because I tried to do current day stuff and I was like, oh no wait we need so much backstory it isn't even funny. So yeah there will be a lot of that for a bit I think.
> 
> There is too many characters that have POVs to share.  
> We haven't even gotten an ALPHYS flashback yet. Like its going to happen but give it time.


	57. Humans and Monsters and....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is all that it seems....  
> ..... Lots of things, actually.

_Undyne was tired of waiting- Restless yet tired of being ignored._.. _She should have never given in._ Played nice. She'd been an idiot to think that they would have taken her seriously without her keeping up her stance and refused to back down. Facing all of this head on instead of expecting some strange winding secrets- The idea of The General taking any special interest in her behind The King's back- How self centered- And yet she had truly thought it like an idiot! Thinking she had seen something in his strange expression. What a fool she was.

No, the only way for this to be worth anything really was her facing the challenge head on.

Undyne was picking herself off the bed, her gold eyes narrow and direct onto the door she could make out in the incomplete darkness of the room. She was done being held off and unsatisfied. Waiting for answers that were never going to come.

She opened the door wide, not caring for the sound it would make. Let them hear it! Let it echo through the darkness to let it know she would not be denied!

She walked out, her fist clenched tight and her magic spinning through her as she looked both ways down the hall and the door to the room began to drift back shut behind her. The hall was dark with dim muted lights along the top of the wall by the ceiling. Soft green tinted darkness just enough to let you see where you were going. The entire castle deathly quiet.

Undyne took a large breath and began to walk in the direction that she and The King had come from on their way to the room. Not sure where she was going but even so.....

She would yell. Yell and wake up the entire castle. Make a scene with her demands and not be denied. The same feelings that had brought her here from the start were like fires in her chest burning brighter than the green muted lights on the walls. Bright and intense as she held her fists tight and her feelings close.

Her family gone, the new one she had started to make when all her other relationship had fallen through. Superficial- All of them having been superficial and not holding true in her greatest time of need.

Even when she had called for help, nobody had come.

Nobody but two strange skeleton brothers she desperately wanted to protect since she hadn't been able to protect anyone but herself, herself and everything else too late, before. Before when it had mattered most-

Before-

Four new lights shown through the darkness in front of her. Two bright green. Two light blue. The four lights evenly set out in front of her and Undyne came to a stop. Taking a moment to realize that they were indeed, eyes. Four softly glowing eyes close to the ground, shining out through the darkness.

And Undyne lifted her fists higher, defensively as she changed her stance and stared the creatures down.

The pair of small dog... cat-like monsters, seeming to start to glow ever so slightly ahead of her. In her way.

* * *

 

 _The Temmie and Frisk were in the water again. Playing_ , and it was almost unsettling at how carefree The Temmie was acting. A fool in each way in the presence of The River Person as compared to his usually more serious demeanor and scowl, or at least the sharp banter. But it's black beady eyes were wide and he was smiling like an idiot-

The River Person had seemed completely unaffected by The Temmie's presence with them other than to be a bit taken aback- But only for about three seconds before adjusting. And Chara had felt an invisibile smile on The River Person's cloaked face. Though Chara wasn't sure what he had been surprised most about. The Temmie's presence, accepting the human presence. Or Chara accepting the monster's presence. But she also knew it had only pleased him overall. Eased the tension and worry inside him even more.

If The Temmie's presence eased _Chara's_ worry when she left Frisk behind- When The River Person would eventually leave again-

But it was still odd. This person sitting beside her, his boat still moored there to the side, this person caring about her. Worrying about her.

And her to him, she could not deny to herself...

Even though she still did not even know his face.

But she knew, felt, that this was a Frisk question and she would leave it to him for the answer. For the moment she was content. The closest she has felt to okay in a really long time. Maybe ever. Even with the LOVE and the darkness inside her and the struggle still to completely rest. But for the first time, it truly felt possible. To wind back down and not just to keep it at bay like she has been so far.

And the scene she was sitting in. The Temmie and Frisk in the water. The River Person, on the shore, sitting beside her. And her nearly content.... The scene was so bizarre. One she had never imagined. The most bizarre scene... and yet the closest she has felt to okay. To alright. The closest she has ever felt to safe....

"You don't deserve this....." The River Person suddenly whispered. Chara turned her head towards him again. "All of you don't deserve this."

She could hear the apology again. The guilt. That pressing guilt. That sense that he owes something.

"It's not your fault." She told him and felt that it was true.

But it did not help. His shoulders falling even more as he looked downward.

"It's not." She said again.... "Its... It's the Queen's fault."

There was silence and Chara squeezed her fingers tightly. The Queen, a fake goddess in a castle they said was made of pure crystal... A goddess in her crystal throne.

Chara can't believe she'd prayed to her about anything. Just today, too. About a Monster or not..

"The War...." The River Person began, drawing Chara's attention. "It was a nasty thing from the start.... Perhaps one could not even call it a war... What happened..."

"You were there?" Chara asked, her eyes wide. She knew Monsters lived longer than humans.. Growing up, from what she could tell, basically the same. Well at least for the average Monster, though she knew there were exceptions. But growing up near the same, but their adulthoods stretching on even as humans grew old and feeble- Well, if they lived long enough to get there anymore. There were in fact a few....

But you still never died of just old age. Something, always something, taking you. Sickness or injury or as someone's easy LOVE-

But the idea that someone could still be alive to have seen The War. Other than The Queen of course, she supposed The King, but they were distant figures she knew nothing about other than to hate and grudge- Not this person beside her with his kindness, and....

"Yes. I was there.... I lost my child... And in the end.. my wife." Chara's heart hurt.

"I'm sorry." She told him, and she was.

"We have no one to blame but ourselves." He told her. And Frisk's voice rang out, as The Temmie managed to get the upper hand in whatever game Frisk had come up for them to play..... And the two on shore stayed silent for a moment longer, watching. And The River Person laughed softly to himself. Though she could still feel the pain.

"... You still miss them? Even this long.. after?" Chara dared to ask.

"Everyday." The River Person whispered. And that terrified Chara.

Love like that... To care about people... It was warm she was realizing, but to lose it. After having had it. And for that pain to never go away.

"Is that why you can't stay awake?"

"Not quite.... but it does not help." He admitted, not even surprised.

It was no longer any secret that this was where he disappeared to for weeks or months at a time- She did not know- But she suspected there was a pattern she hadn't been able to notice. Though looking at Temmie in the water. Remembering at how easily he had deduced the raft to not be him. His uncertainty early in comparison.... She thought Temmie knew the pattern though she did not. There was a pattern- A pattern or else he would not be able to risk coming all the way out here.

"I just wish I could go back and stop any of it from happening... But that is a fantasy... Even stopping what is happening now. But... they cannot change. They will not... No matter what I do..."

"But it's still not your fault."

"...." She could tell there was still something she did not understand and she figured she just couldn't. She's not smart in these things sometimes. Sympathy, empathy, though she did not know the words for it, only Feelings she would have reasoned... They were Frisk's department. Not hers.

But the idea that it would never change..... That was something she knew dearly. And yet, here she was in the most bizarre scene of her life. Watching her brother and The Temmie play, and somehow it didn't look so much like an act anymore on The Temmie's part from where she was standing. Him actually having gotten fully into it. Their water battle. Though she could tell that The Temmie's long, growing limbs were to his unfair advantage.

"You should go help Frisk." The River Person told her, a smile returning to his voice. Or at least trying. And Chara was tempted. But she'd... She'd been wanting to talk to The River Person for so long... About the things she hadn't been able to with Frisk... That she was not yet ready to with Temmie though one day she would be.... Though she realized, sitting there, she has for some of it.

Not being okay. Never being okay. And it had been better that way because she knew The River Person would just apologize again... But thinking about The Temmie... She really did have a lot of questions....

And The River Person seemed to be able to see this on her face. As she stared out across the water.

"You trust them?" The River Person asked. Chara turned her head again......

"Them?"

"The Temmie." The River Person said. "Usually The Temmies go by they and them, does this one not?"

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She was supposed to keep Temmie's true level of intelligence a secret, she didn't know if this was another secret too. She decided to change the topic and only shrugged.

"But you trust them? That they are safe to keep around?"

"..... I think...." She said. "And I think... I'm the one whose more dangerous right now than anything else."

The River Person was wrapping another arm around her, pulling her in and she was tiny again, breathless, but accepting.... Tiny tears in her eyes as she felt like she really could be safe here, if just the world was different.

A world where some stupid people 200 some years ago hadn't started a war.

And for just a moment she shut her eyes and pretended. But it passed.... And she had to return to the conversation.

"But you think I can't?" She asked and she realized she was afraid of the potential answer.

"Does it matter what I think?"

"....." Perhaps. But perhaps also not. Her having seen so much more of The Temmie than The River Person had.

"But I do think you can trust them. I was only asking because I was surprised to see one out here with you.. And you allowing it."

"It didn't start out the greatest." She admitted.

"Hmmm. But it turned out alright. I am proud of you."

"... It was mostly Frisk.."

"You cut yourself so short, young one." He told her, a hand on top of her head as she stayed in the crux of his arm. "You have so much in you that you only allow yourself to doubt. But look at you. Look at where you are and how you were when we first met. You were in the back of my boat, hiding behind a handful of others you didn't trust. And now look..."

"... It was mostly Frisk..." She whispered, feeling the tears in her eyes..

"Who was the one who went back for him, Chara? In the dumps?"

"I owed... I o-owed him... It's just what I..." But The River Person was still cradling her.

"But then you had stayed..."

Her lips were pressed tightly, she did not want to cry. She would not cry.

"And now you have let The Temmie to stay. That is a level of trust I did not expect, especially after what has happened."

Her LOVE....

"But I am oh so glad it has.." The River Person concluded.

"..... T-Temmie said that... there had been.. a lot more Temmies in the past..." She felt The River Person tense. But then it passed again, with his shoulders falling sadly.

"Yes that is true...."

"He said that... it was Monsters.."

"Yes... But I was not awake for that, I cannot tell you much of the details. Only that it was something despicable."

"But why...? Why? I do not understand..."

"It is because.... they are not exactly... Monsters." Chara's eyes widened, a strange sense of betrayal in her chest as she looked up at The River Person. "Oh you misunderstand me." The River Person told her. "I do not mean this negatively... No, but the simple truth is that they are not Monsters. But just like you and Frisk... that does not mean you have no worth... They just are not.. Monsters. In the traditional sense. They're just something different."

"Then... what are they?" She asked. The River Person seemed to think.

"If I were to call them anything..... perhaps the only word I could come up with is perhaps.... angels."

Chara stared... not understanding.

"It is not important, young one, and if you truly wish to know more it is not me you should ask, is it? But the simple matter is this... If there is anyone who can understand your situation and that perhaps you can trust.... I suspect a Temmie is exactly that."

And Chara stared back towards the water. Towards her brother and the Not-Monster who had settled down. Going back to their steady routine of skipping stones..........

And she thought about how The Temmie had told her.. That part of the reason he thought he'd come out after her... Understanding. Getting it.

How it felt to never be okay.

And Chara stared out towards the water........ Towards her brother and the Not-Monster.....In their steady routine of skipping 'stones'..........

* * *

  _The two sets of eyes in front of Undyne blinked in unison_ but they seemed all abuzz by her arrival, not at all seeming concerned about her aggressive stance.

"hOI!! i'm temmIe!!!" The one with the green eyes stated. "And dis is my friend... Temmie!!!"

"And i is Temmie!!! And dis is my friend.. temmIe!!" The other said. As if it needed to do it all again.

"welkom." They said together. "we beenz waitings for yous."

Waiting...?

And the anticipation of having answers was there, keenly, inside her chest.


	58. .... Lost Souls...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hell what a mess.
> 
>  
> 
> In which the conflict may have gotten a whole lot bigger...
> 
>  
> 
> It's complicated....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like. I posted a little thing like for three minutes last night. Because I wrote A LOT of this out but it was different. And I didn't like it. And was like. Do I want to reveal some of this???? So I wrote a smaller thing. That DID not give some of it. And was like. Lol sorry. Be asking questions for awhile.  
> And it was like. 4 am.  
> And immediately I was like. Don't do this. It is 4 am and you are tireds.  
> So we didn't do that. And Just. Yeah, this may still be a jumbled mess and I am not sure what my POINT was. I'm still not sure I got it and it may get edited a bit (lot) more. (famous last words, it won't actually.)  
> But yeah...... All of this.
> 
>  
> 
> Also TemmIes. That's a capital i.

_And Chara watched one of the stones_ , _or rather bullets turned play things The Temmie had created_ , skip across the water as Frisk cheered softly. A tension in her chest as she thought about how she and The Temmie had met. At how she had only added on to his problems he hadn't seemed to have asked for.. At how close she had come to..... And also thinking, about the others she had.. the dust on her hands. Her head lowered shamefully.

And The River Person's hand rested carefully on Chara's shoulder as she kept her head down and they sat there together by the river.

"What is it? What is wrong?" He asked, gentle but worried.... So much encouragement in his voice.

 _Lost_ , he had said. _Again_ , he had said...

"I really almost did lose myself..." She whispered.

"......... Many do." The River Person finally whispered.

 _Again_ , he had said... The River Person holding onto her and then after, her _and_ Frisk, trembling and apologizing... But saying that. How he had feared.... Feared specifically for her... Caring... But also _again_.

"There have been too many lost Souls in my life....." The River Person admitted sadly. "And when I couldn't find you and Frisk.... To check up on the two of you... It was all I could think about... It is just that... There was once this girl. Older than you are now, but still just a girl. And I could not be there for her like she needed. She would not _let_ me. I was afraid you were going into yourself- I just.... The last time.. She would not listen to a thing I would say until there was nothing _left_ to say... And then, she disappeared. I could not find her. And then I fell asleep again. And by the time I woke up...."

Lost, he had said... Lost.

"She was already far down a path she refused to turn back from......" And Chara felt bad again for having hurt him in forcing the subject. But she could also feel again, him smiling at her despite the sadness. And she knows he was just relieved... That caring... But Chara wanted.. Wanted to know...

"...And what.... What happened....?" Chara dared to ask... Though she knew it was hurting him to think about. Speak about...... But Chara... "But what happened to her?"

The River Person lowered his head again....

* * *

 

_Undyne glanced between the pair of eyes- light blue and bright green- staring at her._

"You've.... been waiting for _me_?" Undyne asked cautiously despite her anticipation.

"Yez. Waitings." The one with light blue eyes stated.

"Waitings sooos longs."

"Tho scared."

"So scareds."

Their eyes flashed orange for a second in unison and Undyne leaned back, feeling a bit uneasy.... As their eyes returned to blue and green.

"But knewz woulds come."

"We haz patience."

"Yes. Dis iz import."

"Much import."

"Knew would comes."

"And how did you...... know?" Undyne asked.

"Oh! Cuz sees with kings."

"Not happies."

"Not listenz to hims."

"not REALies."

Undyne snarled.

"Why should I when he refuses to listen to me and treats me just like a child!"

"But-"

"If you're not going to get to the point," Undyne cut in, "I'll just-" She took a step forward-

"No, no!" The TemmIes cried together, bristling their fur.

"Point is dis."

"Waitins for yous."

"Knows you comings."

"But not goodz."

"No, no, not goodz."

"Should be bedz, yes."

"Yes, should be in bedz."

"reSt."

"Rest!"

Undyne grit her teeth.

"So your my guards. Here to keep me in line. Well tough!"

"Oh noz."

"Not yous we keeps linez." And Undyne thought that they were glowing ever so slightly brighter. Just ever so slightly.

"Yous we keeps safes." They said together. Adamantly. And one pair of eyes flashed orange. The other a bright yellow. But then they were back to blue and green.

Undyne had never seen such a bizarre pair of Monsters....

"Keep me safe from what?" She demanded. The Temmies exchanged glances, the movements so mirrored that it still seemed to have been as one.

"Da bads grey mens." The green eyes one stated as they both turned back. And the one with blue eyes, the blue grew deeper. Darker.

"From selfz."

"You're just trying to keep me in line." Undyne accused again. "Control me just like The King."

"Needz rests." The green one stated.

"Much rests."

"I can't rest. There are too many questions."

"Dem tolks wiz someone? Das can helps you rests?"

"Talking with The King was pointless enough already. Like you said. That means there is only left to make my demands and force it this time!" She lifted her arms, aggressively as she began to summon magic. Just to show that she was serious. The light blue eyed Temmie coward.

"Ew! No!" It cried. "NOT cUTE."

What-

"Not kindness." The green eyed one agreed.

"No, no, not goods."

"And needz rest!"

"You two are a waste of my time." Undyne stated, moving to the side, to walk past them.

"Waits!"

"Waits!"

Undyne paused, giving them this one last chance.

"What?" She demanded, bitter.

"Wez get to points."

"I thought the point was getting me to go back to bed." She spat.

"Oh noz. We knows you nots."

"Then what had been the point of all- Ugh! You're both tiresome and talk in circles!" She growled.

"Oh, sorries."

"Bad Tem habit."

"Much bad habits."

"But tires youz? Maybe goods. Not so bads. Needz rests."

"No, she not means in goods ways. Means she not patience. Means go. Means not rest nonez."

"Oh NOS!"

And despite all of Undyne's anger, she couldn't help bit feel slightly amused... At the genuine, buzzing distress coming off the two of them. Just enough to stop her from rolling her eyes and leaving them entirely. Though the anger remained...

But the TemmIes cut off their own distress. Snapping their attention back at her.

"But wez startz over and getz to points." One started again.

"We knewz yous coming."

"Saw. Cannotz rest. Would notz listens to kingz and cannotz rests."

"Knews you comings."

"So we waits."

"Waits very bery patience."

"Tho scared."

"Very scared."

"But import."

"Much import." Their eyes flashed orange again.

"Wez be bravery." They said together before their eyes turned normal.

"Wez waits."

"Cuz tems knew yous not rests and be comings."

"She knew yous not rests and be comings."

"She so worries, so."

"She?" Undyne asked, but The TemmIes ignored her it seemed for a moment.

"But knows."

"Needs more to help rests."

"And worries."

"Guilts."

"Childz needs more."

The defiance flooded through Undyne.

"I am no longer a child." She said gravely. But The TemmIes were shaking.

"Yes childz!!" The green eyes temmIe argued.

"Childz!"

"Hurtz childz."

"Angries childz and hurts."

"Hurts and hurtz to sees you hurts."

"She wants to helps so TemmIes wishes to helpz."

"Cuz she said much importz."

"Wait. But who is **she**?" Undyne pressed again.

"Yes. She. She waits."

"That **doesn't** answer my-"

"She waitings."

"We takes to hers to talks."

"Talk... I'll get answers? Or is this 'she' just going to be as useless as The King?"

"Temmie not knows what plans."

"Only talks."

"Tolds to brings when you bes comings."

"She knews yous bes comings."

Undyne grit her teeth.

She'd wanted the General. She had felt promised the General. But she had nothing else to go on for now.... And this person had technically been right about Undyne not staying in the room so there may have at least been something there....

"Fine. I'll go along with it for now. But only just for now. " She told them. "The moment I smell something I'm leaving." The green eyed one had a confused expression.

"But can nots holds breaths?" It asked.

"What? That's not what I-"

"Nos, nos." The blue eyed one began. "Sis means tricks. Likes smells da fishies. But nots! Nots cuz she fish! Nots reals fishies. But tricks. Likes them says. Ifs thinks dis tricks and nos goods. But dis not bes tricks."

"ooOohs, temmIes understands. Tanks nows yous."

This had to either be a trick or a test. It could not be real.... Anyone entrusting any sort of responsibilities to two.... She doesn't know what to call them. Idiots is not even the correct word... Because somehow they seem so well meanings in their stupidity. And Undyne is almost certain that it is genuine stupidity. Either genuine or very well done bits of acting. She cannot even sense any malice in their collective intent. Malice or even amusement for if it was a joke.

Undyne simply sighed.

"Just... lead the way." She told them. The two creatures jumped up and turned around in near synch unison even as they both buzzed in unreasonable excitement. Undyne breathed in as she tilted her head back for a moment... and then let it out.

Patience.

If this was a test then she had to pass it.

Patience.

She could be patience- Patient!

And with that she forced herself to follow after The TemmIes.

"Dis ways!"

"Yes dis ways! She waits!"

"I'm following, I'm following." Undyne grumbled. But as they went along, Undyne began to slow... the layout becoming more familiar and open rather than new... "Wait...."

The TemmIes did not stop though and Undyne raced to catch up.

"I said wait!" She demanded again. But there was no longer any question of it. There it was. The entrance and the traces of light.

The Throne Room.

Undyne stopped, her fists tight. The two TemmIes finally stopped and looked back to her in unison.

"Where are you taking me?" She demanded.

"Just heres."

"To hers!"

"This is the Throne Room."

"Yes! Yes!" They said together. Undyne was shaking her head and would not stop.

"No." She whispered. "No, no, **no**."

"I nos understands 'gains." The green eyed one stated. But this time the blue eyed one had no answer for it. It did not seem to understand Undyne's hesitations either.

"Must gos in." The light blue one told her. "She waits. She says brings. Not tricks-"

Undyne laughed airily. Shaking her head again.

"Look." She began, bending down. "I'm not going to blame the two of you, I can tell you really, really think... But... By 'she'. You mean the **_Queen_**?"

"Yes!"

"Yes! Queens! Yes!"

"But that's- That doesn't make sense, okay? That's impossible."

"Whats?!"

"No impossibles! She says-"

"No, no, listen...." Undyne tried to keep her voice as calm as possible and understanding. "The trick here isn't on me, it's on the two of you, okay?"

"Wats?!"

"Wez nos beens tricks!!!"

"Shhh. It's okay. I understand it's confusing with everything that they say. I used to believe it too even! Just today I though there was some sense to it but that just isn't.. But.... Look... You mentioned The King? You've seen The King. How he is? How tired?"

"Yes, wez knows."

"So tired. Much tireds. Always so sads."

"Oh so, so sads." The green eyed one said, tears in its eyes.

Oh hell.

"It is a bitt more than just being sad. Let's just... Let's just go inside and I'll explain it to you, okay?" She said kindly. They really, really did not understand.... And perhaps it was confusing. With how faded The King was. And yet The _Queen_... And why they could get away with it. Because she really didn't look it, did she?

But The TemmIes had hooked onto it, her offer to go inside The Throne Room. They were vibrating with the excitement, leading the way.

"Sis sees."

"Wez brings Sis andz she sees."

"I..." Undyne began. But she sighed again. This was going to be pointless wasn't it? But she might as well go in. She hadn't earlier. When all the other people would have been crowded around the throne. She'd been so angry and wanting nothing to do with her. But now...... Now there was no harm in it was there...?

The two little Monsters entered in before her, racing ahead. But Undyne took her time. How different it all was at night when the castle was dark and quite. And she held her breath as she neared the two giant double doors. Still open wide. And she could see the light.... The light flittering out as if to reach her. Calling her. And despite herself and something inside her that twisted sickly... Undyne couldn't help but keep coming forward.

Undyne held her breath.... but it was pointless. The moment she peaked cautiously around the doorway she lost it.

She'd thought she had been prepared. She's seen it before. In the daytime with a mass gathering of people. The light intense and radiant in all of its splendor.

But nothing had prepared her... Could not have prepared her... For this.

The long, stretched out room in front of her. Completely empty save for the two little Monsters that had brought her here... And the only source of light with the night revealed above them through the crystal ceiling, the only source of light at the far end of the room ahead of her...

The Crystal Throne took up the entire far wall and how it gave off its iridescent glow. As if the entire wall was on fire with aurora. And yet it was not harmful to look at. No. It was breathtaking and wonderful.....

And now, that only made the sadness in Undyne's chest heavier.

She felt like an intruder now.... Slipping into the room tentatively. Feeling incredibly, incredibly small as she crossed through the giant room and to the even bigger alter of radiant crystal...

To be almost the only on in the room....

How even smaller she felt...

The two Monsters had stopped just on the first step that led to the throne and Undyne stopped just in front of them. Needing to tilt her head back to see it all the way to the top.... And in the midst of it all... Like a radiant jewel of fire.

"Dere she bes! Having waits and waits!"

"Sis be glads comes to sees."

The Queen... So radiant and splendid.... And yet-

Undyne's shoulders slacked and she looked down at the two little Monsters who just did not understand what it was that she was actually looking at. Just like the rest of Monster kind because they had bought into a lie.

Goddess.

Queen.

She was no such thing. Any more than the King.

No...

Undyne forced herself to look back up though she felt guilty now for being there.

Looking at the woman deep inside, encased within the shimmering, warmly blazing crystal.... That only worked to hide the horrifying truth of the matter. At what hundreds if not thousands of people came to see everyday.

"She's not waiting..." Undyne told them sadly. Though perhaps in some sense, maybe she was. Waiting for somebody who was never going to come. Someone long gone.... The reason she was in the state she was in. Why she had done the things she had done. The one person she had probably loved most of all and had failed to Save... One of the people she had never wanted to lose and had lost in an instant along with so much more...

Undyne crouched down and put a hand on the heads of both of The TemmIes though she knew they would not be able to understand.

The woman in the crystal, her eyes closed, hands folded across her body and her fingers interlaced. Asleep even as the power flooded through her. Asleep even as she gave off that misleading energy.... That energy and power. Making her seem like she was more than what she was.

"She's not waiting, she's Fallen Down...."

And Undyne knows it so keenly now that she wonders how she had ever believed anything different. How she had believed the lies they said.

Ascended.

Listening.

Scattered across time and space.

Goddess.

Though she understands why the lies are said.

In the memory of the war. The Queen that had acted. The Queen that had acted vengence and justice.

The light and hope of Monsters.

How could one admit to themselves.....

But looking at The King.... Knowing what Undyne knew, that she never listened and never would.

No. She was no Goddess...

Though Undyne would not hate her anymore like she had when she had accused her of letting her family die. That she had started the war and had refused to finish it.

No, that was not it.

She had simply been unable to finish it. To see it through.

And Undyne knows that the only difference between The King and The Queen.....

Undyne's breathing picked up, the anger rising and hatred in her chest as she glared at them. Each of them there in their sickening, radiant colors.

The six of them, stretched out within the crystal, shimmering through the crystalized wings of the 'Goddess'.

The blues separated by orange. Purple, green, **yellow**.

The Six Human Souls.

And her they called The Goddess.

Because she is the only one who could dare without dusting... Her status, her species.. The power of a Boss Monster.

But still, she had not dusted like anyone else would have but look at what it had cost....

"You see? She can't talk to us. She can't even know we are here... She's just a little bit more than Fallen Down."

But they still can't understand it, can they?

"They just say differently so everyone can keep up their hope."

Or perhaps more rightly, complain. To pin it on someone else. The continued problems. Like Undyne had... But no. No. She was not the one at fault.

Still.. It led back to The General. Still Undyne was not where she needed to be!

But it was a radiant sight to behold. Though saddened.....

And perhaps it would not have been a sickening thought to think, Undyne thought, All those thousands of people here each day....

If they only treated it for what it was.

A living grave.

Undyne stood up. Clasping her hands together like they were taught when they were young. Being brought here on their field trips. Indoctrinated in their cultural lie.

But this time she did not pray, asking for silly things, silly selfish things.....

The TemmIes and The King had told her to rest. But she could not. No.

"I wish you rest." She told The Queen. "True rest.... And I promise. I will make sure they finally see what you started through even though you could not..."

Undyne promised.

"Nos!" The TemmIes cried in unison. Turning to Undyne quickly, adamant in their stances. Undyne smiled sadly for them....

"It's okay.... Somebody has to do it.." But then she was looking up at The Fallen Queen once more. "You rest and I promise."

"Nos! Nos understands!"

"Sis nos understands!"

Undyne shook her head for them. They just would not understand.....

"Thank you for bringing me here." She told them. "But I think I will go back to bed..."

And she thinks she will be able to do it.

She must have her strength. To get through and do what she must..... If this was a trick on them to somehow annoy her into giving up then The General didn't know what he was dealing with! Or The King... No, she didn't think The King would lie and trick. He would have just had The TemmIes show her.

Either way. Whatever the sender had wanted. It had not worked as they had wanted-

Undyne was walking away and she suspected The TemmIes to come after her, but they did not. They only called out.

"Waits!"

"Sis must wai-"

The sound of the voices cut off though and a radiant light shone behind her. Undyne lost her breath, freezing in place a the sound of a single word-

" _Undyne_."

Undyne stood in the middle of the throne room. Her eyes wide...

The voice. Their voices. Weaving together but somehow also no longer their own. Echoing- The tone, the voice not their own-

Feminine and warm... but sad. But even though it was sad, it was also urgent.

Undyne slowly... Slowly began to look back over her shoulder. Her magic racing and her eyes wide- Her body shaking as she couldn't breathe.

The two TemmIes were glowing white iridescent hues just like the Crystal Throne-Their eyes shimmering every which color though the room- The entire room washed with green light, the walls covered in it.

The two TemmIes seeming very much Not there.

"Listen to me, small one..." Undyne could not breathe. But the voice. It simply said the very thing she has heard before: "This is not what you want." The same thing The King had said but also with something unexpected- "This is not what I want."

Undyne did not understand-

But her thoughts were spinning. And she could not speak. Could not truly think. So many feelings inside her- anger, rage- confusion- grief- fear- and she could not understand-

"You can hear.." She breathed.... "You can see-"

"You must get away from this place. As far as you can... Gaster... Do not let Gaster take your-"

"You can hear!" She shouted. The rage within Undyne- It was consuming her from the inside out as the tears gathered in her eyes.

It was true. It was true! She could hear! She could see! All of it was true!

"Gaster's plan cannot be allowed to succeed." The Queen's voice continued through the two small Monsters.

Gaster- The General. The General what did it matter! The focus of Undyne's restless re-emerging hate and anger was focused directly onto the Crystal Throne in front of her.

"Once you leave here, child.."

 **Child**.

"Please, once you leave. Please. Do **not** come back."

"You..." Undyne breathed... "You... WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?!" She screamed. Still The TemmIes glowed but did not reply and Undyne stepped closer. "Where WERE YOU?!?!"

It was so hard to breathe... So hard as the tears raced down her face...

"I called out for help and WHERE?! WERE?! **_YOU_**?!?"

The voice that responded was sad and broken.

"I was right there with you...... And I am so sorry, my child... I am sorry for what it has done to you."

But Undyne could not rest, pacing back and forth, feeling as if she was being torn apart inside, a scream that could not escape her, choking her....

"Und-"

But the two TemmIes both called out in pain, cringing as they lost HP and crouched down. The glow disappearing. Undyne stared, breathing in frantically as she watched the two Monsters recover. Their eyes like colored pinwheels spinning, the green one had its tongue out. Both struggling to recover what little senses they had....

"What...?" Undyne stared back up at the Crystal Throne- "I WASN'T DONE WITH YOU, YOU COWARD!" She screamed.

"Oh nos.. Nos... Sis angries-"

"Don't call me that!" Undyne spat. "I'm not a child anymore thanks to her! Thanks to her I am not a child I lost everything that ever made me a child! And WHERE WAS SHE?! With me?! Then why didn't she DO anything?! Why doesn't she DO anything?!" She looked back upwards. "Answer me!! Why didn't you help?! I called for you?! Why didn't you?!"

"Oh nos, Sis.." The green eyed one said, sadly.

But Undyne was no longer willing to listen. If she would not be spoken to- No answers! Then!

Undyne was running. Racing away. Not listening to the two calling Monsters behind her. And she did not stop. Did not stop as she raced through the green light of the halls, towards room she had been giving.... To get her things. To leave! She would not stay here another second. Not another second!

She slammed the door to the room as loudly as she could..... Hoping The Queen and her strange TemmIes could hear it.

Anger. Just so much anger.

But also, though she would not want to admit it.... So shaken. Shaken and unable to fully breathe.

And when she came out again, her things strapped over her shoulder, she raced through the halls towards the garden exit that led out into the river, sure she would be stopped if she were to go by the main doors.

And as she raced, she completely missed the single patch of scattered dust-like dirt in the center of the hall. She missed it, not noticing it, not even seeing it in her blurred hurry to leave.

She entered the garden, aiming for the door that led out onto the water.

To her surprise, the door was unlocked and she escaped out into the water, it already up to her knees. And she began to make her way forward. She had only made it a few feet before she gasped loudly and pulled back desperately in surprise. Staring at the figure beside her on the shore that she had at first thought had been a statue.

It was not....

The nearly completely greyed out figure blinked.... as it stared otherwise blankly. As if her emergence from and their encounter near a half hidden garden entrance of the castle in the dead of night was completely normal....

And Undyne was completely frozen but also ready to flee at any moment....

The short, greyed monster only stared....

"I am One." It- He said. And the automatic, strange tone...

Undyne began to sink down into the water, backing away even as she kept her eyes on the figure. Just wanting to get away. Away from all of this. It too much and none of it making sense. But One did not seem concerned by her movement. Only kept speaking...

"Two weeks." He said.

And Undyne kept trailing away through the water.... Wanting away. Away, just away...

"Two weeks." He said again. "If you want answers... He says: two weeks."

He...?

Undyne paused.

"Two weeks." Was all One said. Before he began to disappear, walking backwards into the brush. And Undyne.....

She swallowed... But then quickly...

Quickly, she escaped underneath the water and did not risk resurfacing for a very, very long time even though it was dark and hard to see where she was going and could very well get more than beyond lost.... But it didn't matter where she was going. It didn't matter...

As long as it was away.

At least for the moment, away.

* * *

 

_"But what happened to her?"_

"She grew up.. A beautiful young woman.. but if one can truly see her....I'm afraid she really is too far gone to be anything but lost." He admitted. "..... I'm afraid she can no longer by anything but a demon.. because she simply does not believe she is one...."

And Chara could feel, see in his tense position. How broken it made him.

And Chara found herself terrified. That there could be.. a point of no return.

"But if... If she did. If she saw and wanted to... You would still help her, wouldn't you?" His hooded head lowered even farther.

"In a heart beat, small one. In a heart beat. With everything I am. But the simple fact remains this.... Just like one can ask for Mercy and be refused... One can offer Mercy and that does not mean it has to be accepted."

Chara's words were stuck in the back of her throat. But he was looking down at her again.

"And this is why, young one, you must never sell you and your own Mercy short." He told her. "You have both shown Mercy and accepted it. And even when one is on the receiving end, the fact remains you have still decided to take it and not let it go to shame."

And the tears were in the back of Chara's eyes again but she couldn't find the strength to hug him on her own yet. Still could not do it, find the strength... Even as he kept his hand on her shoulder.

"You should go play." The River Person told her gently. "Go on and play with them again, Chara...." She shook her head, wanting to stay.... Besides...

"You told me to rest." She whispered to excuse.

"There is more than one kind of rest... When one says rest, I mean in terms of giving yourself time to re-center yourself so you can think clearly... Play. It is also a kind of rest."

Helping to hold on to the good things....

Chara bit her lip but then forced herself to stand, slipping out of his hold. But she stood there uncertainly.. and turned back around.

"You too?" The River Person chuckled lowly at that.

"I'd best not." He told her. Chara tried to hide the disappointment, to not let it slip onto her face. But how easily her attempt had fallen through.... "Or...." The River Person tried to pick back up, clearly noticing it despite Chara's attempt. "I...."

And Chara understood she was not the only one uncertain of herself despite all the times he encouraged her on his own.

He understood how it felt not never be entirely okay also...

"Frisk!" Chara called, turning towards the water. The River Person jolted in surprise at her sudden shift and so did the two in the water. Turning their heads towards her sharply- "The River Person wants to know how to skip stones too!"

"Char-" The River Person started softly but couldn't say anything more as Frisk's expression brightened. There was no arguing with that.

If there had ever been any argument at all.

And they were all near the edge of the water, and Chara sat down up to her waste, cooling off again and digging her toes into the mud. Watching as The River Person was forced to crouch down beside Frisk.

Another amusing and bizarre sight.... To see such a large Monster crouching down and taking instructions from a child in how to flick his wrists just so.

Chara smiled as The River Person mimicked Frisk's movements.

And The Temmie was on the other side of her. Noticeably using her to keep him and The River Person separated even now though Chara didn't understand it though she had to respect it... But despite the apprehension that remained and the exhaustion that was starting to be noticeable in The Temmie's features, Chara could also see too, a certain layer of contentment in his expression as Frisk spoke.

"And it ain't just about getting it to go as far as you can." Frisk said sternly with an instructing finger. "Or else we'd just be throwing them. You want to see how far and how many times you can skip it. And that takes skill."

"And having wrists helps." Mumbled The Temmie, just enough for her to hear. Chara laughed softly. The Temmie raised a brow. She could see the shift in his gaze, a mischievous gleam.

"What?" She asked. The Temmie lifted himself up, his limbs growing so he was close to her face and leaning over her shoulder. Chara was tense and uncertain but did not move away. A small, white pellet formed in front of her and Chara took in a sharp breath. Though it passed...... And she knew exactly what he wanted. She shook her head. "Let them have their moment." She whispered.

"Hmmm. Tem think!" Chara jolted again at the sound of the cheerful tone. It so unusual in his voice and childish and out of place. "Tem think Chara no has bravery in to be havings funs."

"Wait... Did you just.. did you just call me a coward?"

"Nos. Tem neva sayz _cow_ ards." And with all Frisk's recent puns it is not lost on her what he wants to imply.

Chicken.

Chara glared.

"I'm not chicken." She spat. And he raised his brow again. Daring her to prove it.

Spitefully, Chara took a deep breath.. grabbing the pellet though she would not admit how she had still hesitated.

And spitefully, she skipped the pellet across the waters of the river....

* * *

 

 _"But what happened to her?"_ Chara had asked.

She had found herself in the middle of that same river, feeling tiny and small and drowning despite the fact Undyne could breathe beneath the water...

Feeling small and tiny....

In the midst of Kings and Generals and a Queen...

A Queen with her angels.

Small and tiny and drowning in her grief and hurt.

This entire plan she'd had stupid. So stupid... And she only wanted one thing.

All eyes were on her a day later as she stood in the entrance of the group home. Smiling as if nothing had gone wrong. As if she'd always had a plan.

And she smiled as the adults converged on her, chastised her, sent her to her room.

And Undyne had immediately made a bee line for the room in the exact opposite direction of hers.

That idiot trusting boy smiling radiantly at her even as Sans glared at her from over his shoulder. 

And it hurt to see them both, knowing she had failed. But it didn't matter. Didn't. She only wanted one thing.

To not lose them.

Everything else was confusing and jumbled and blurred. But not that.

She could be lost about a lot of things, but not that.

And she smiled at them. The same smile she had given everyone at the entrance. But it only lasted two seconds until Papyrus was asking:

"Are you okay?"

No. No. She was not.

And the smile broke. Though she did not cry....

But the way she hugged him, squeezing that tightly- He could feel very well that she wanted to. And he hugged her back. Promising silently to be stronger so she didn't have to be!

* * *

And cruel, twisted fate:

_"But what happened to her?"_

She was now one of the people Chara was in danger from the most... And Chara's most immediate ally.... That same boy, her best friend.

One of the things she had promised herself most desperately she would never lose.

And there he was. Helping Chara wash over her burned hands with water....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I was really like Lol to your guyes total mistrust of the Temmies.
> 
> Also speaking of the Temmies.  
> Thank you Toby Fox and Temmie Chang for making me go through this. Thank you Swap Undertale community that also put me through this.  
> I thought I would hate them and writing them.  
> I love them.  
> But also still save me from them.


	59. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *You called for help...

_The sun was hot and the waters of the river cool but_ it couldn't last. It never really lasts. Because the sun was starting to get low in the sky though it hadn't started to change colors yet. But they knew it without saying it, The River Person had to go....

And Chara found the thought surprisingly bitter in her chest: That he didn't only belong to them.

Though the idea that he belonged to them at all was surprising and new and Chara knew she had to let it go......

Tomorrow would not be like today. Nor the next day or the day after that. She could not be selfish (but why not?) But it is inevitable. Him having somewhere else to be... There were other people in the valley that needed him just as much as she did. ... And though she didn't give a damn about anyone but Frisk (or so she said, it was all she could say), she knew that The River Person did give one... She was not the only one who needed him and she was not the only one he needed..... (It still a surprise he needed her at all....) But she was not the only one to need....

Everyone said it:

You do not Fight The River Person.

Mostly because you can't. You can't touch him in a Fight it was said. Though she wonders who was the last person to try it. Even the lowest of low....

And she wonders, as The River Person bent down low, close to The Temmie who was trying to appear cheerful but Chara can see in the back of his eyes the unease.....

And Chara wonders now, knowing how old The River Person is.... How long has he been coming out here? Long enough to have known so many of the adults since they were just a child like her?

And it is strange to note.

How jealous she is in that moment.

And yet, despite her being one of so many he has known... He still cared...

And cared so deeply.

He always remembers your name.

"Thank you..." The River Person told The Temmie as he prepared to leave... "Thank you for being out here with them for me."

"Nos for _yous_." The Temmie said and perhaps it is just Chara that hears it but she detects the slightest bit of accusation.... The River Person only nodded slowly..

"Perhaps not." He admitted sadly. But The Temmie... relented. Chara could see the tension in his muscles relax.... She's seen the action a lot now. Usually it was accompanied by a sigh as he caved and let his bitter stance slide. But only for a moment.

"But if yous bes bery goods childz, temmie is think bout it." Chara lifted a brow at that, uncertain. But The River Person only laughed softly and lifted out his hand. Her eyes widened in shock as The River Person rubbed The Temmie softly on the head. Beside her she felt Frisk tense in surprise too.... Especially as Chara caught The Temmie, but only for a moment, just a moment, closing his eyes and lean in....

"Thank you." The River Person said again as he pulled away and began to stand up.

And Chara bit the inside of her lip as he turned his attention back to Chara and Frisk.

"Your camp...?" He began.

"It's.. close." Chara told him.

"Then I shall see you sooner rather than later?" The River Person asked, a bit hopeful.

"Probably." Chara promised.

There was a moment of silence.

That moment of silence you let yourselves slip into when you know you have to say goodbye but if you just don't say it then maybe it never has to come. You can stand there in that moment forever and it never has to end...

But inevitably..... it ends. But it is more weighted down than Chara had expected....

Because for a moment, even though she felt tired and a bit worn down. She had felt the closets to okay she has ever been. With the four of them there by the river. But in one sentence everything goes back to the way it was. It goes back to _normal_....

"I wish I could take all of you with me...."

But with him is the most dangerous place to be......

The hooded figure's head lowered and this time when Frisk moves to hug him Chara is right there without needing any encouragement.

And she stands there with her brother. With The Temmie.. As they watched The River Person get into his boat and let it free onto the water. As they watched him sliding away and Frisk offered him another wave.

As they watched him slip away and out of sight.........

One does not Fight The River Person.

It's a rule. Everyone knows it. All throughout the valley.

Like how one does not go to the dumps alone.

It's a rule. Everyone knows it.

Because he gives all he can to everyone even though he doesn't seem to have that much in himself anymore. But he gives it. To everyone. He offers Mercy to everyone. All you have to do is make sure to behave on his boat.... In some way, to rest. Bring a story or two.... And rest as he lets you drift down the river taking you to your next destination.

One does not Fight The River Person.

And everyone knows that the valley would be a much dimmer place without him.

Or perhaps that is just Chara.

It would be a dimmer place for her. And it is already dim enough.

And they made their way back to camp. Her, her brother, and the Not Monster. And everything was silent. Even Frisk.

And Chara was starving. Starving and too tired to really cook anything so it was decided with nearly no deliberation to bring out the reserves. Something so unthinkable to do so carelessly only a few months ago....

Because Monster or not, the addition of magic infused food into their resources was an invaluable upgrade... The ability to have food that could never go bad....

Safer. Safer... everything just slightly safer. More secure.....

Chara had never felt so close to okay.. So tired out and yet so rested...

As they sank down by the fire with heavy limbs. As the sun grew lower and lower and the silence lingered but not at all entirely uncomfortable.

Though there were questions. A lot of questions. So many things Chara wanted to ask and she suspected that a few of them Frisk wanted to ask too but didn't of The Temmie.

Of why he didn't trust The River Person but didn't seem to hate either. Why the need to ask stupid.

And Chara wanted to ask what happened. Really, what happened, to make The Temmie so Not okay. Wanting to understand... Maybe even... to help...

But only because he had helped her and she could not deny it. She owed him.....

But The River Person's voice was still fresh in her mind.... about the doubt she put in herself...

She pressed her lips together tightly...

But if.... If he wanted to talk about it...

Well, The Temmie could tell her in his own good time. If he wants.... She's not going to press it. She's not going to press anything from him.

.... She is going to give him a rest too.

To help all of them not worry about anything for as long as they can.

And as the fire settled into embers, Chara and Frisk were curling up together in their spot.... The sun just barely at the horizon but the day having drained them all so much and their full bellies pulling them in.... Their eyelids heavy.

But Chara glanced over, across the surface of the ground at their makeshift bed.... at The Temmie curled up by itself, tired but still glaring at the embers. Seeming deep in thought. And Chara found herself tense....

And she knows that this one is on her. It's up to her. No one else is going to do it, offer it... Frisk won't for fear she isn't ready. And The Temmie... Chara is the only one.

She took a deep breath, gathering her strength and she began to reach a hand out across the ground, her fingers reaching.

"T-Temmie?" She began, drawing his attention. The black eyes flickered upwards.

She's not ready for this but she wants to be.... She does. She wants...

"If you w-want.. You don't have to.... be so far away. You can c-come onto the mattress... with us."

Though it isn't much of a mattress but it is comfortable enough and protected by the tarp and...

The Temmie had a strange expression on his face and Chara held her breath at the pain she thought she could see.... Before he shifted his face again, hiding it from her as he looked away.

"I think I'll **pass**." He told her harshly and Chara recoiled. She'd expected the rejection, but not in such a harsh tone...

But....

She pulled her hand away.... Resigned.

It was probably the smart thing anyways....

You can't afford to care. Can't afford to fully care.

She just couldn't afford to care fully... It was going to fall apart. Eventually. It always comes apart. Something happens. Or things simply come to a close and it all has to change......

The closer they get the harder its going to hurt and he was right... Chara stayed staring at the embers for a minute.... Trying to push the hurt out of her chest. Because just because it was the correct thing to do about this, he hadn't had to have been such an ass about it. She began to turn over finally, but as she tried to mentally flee-

"Chara..." The Temmie called out cautiously... She stopped and looked back out towards The Temmie. He still had his face turned away, maybe even had it more buried into his arms.

But as the seconds pass he doesn't say anything else.... Chara was biting the inside of her bottom lip again, tense.... but eventually she accepted he wasn't going to.

And that was for the best.

But still. Like an idiot, it slips out of her.

"You can..." She cut it off, but then, despite her better judgment she finishes it.. "You can change your mind." She offered.....

And with that she finally turned away, even if a bit more reluctantly this time.

And there Frisk is. Smiling at her... Chara's heart squeezed and she wasn't sure what to do.

 _".... It was mostly Frisk..._ "

But there he is smiling at her like an idiot... Finally Chara breathed out heavily and lifted her hand to his face. The boy laughed as she covered it playfully, the silent 'shut up' there for his silent gloating... or pride... And despite the exhaustion he lifted his hands, ticking at her in retaliation. Chara gasped, jerking back but quickly.. her gaze hardened.

"Oh so that's how it is." She snapped and she lunged at him.

"No! No!" He cried out, laughing all the while as she got at him. "No-o-oo!" He reached out a hand across towards The Temmie. "Help! Help!"

Chara glanced over, catching The Temmie watching now, but a peculiar expression on his face.

"But nobody came." Was all he said before turning his face around again, away from them... Both Frisk and Chara stopped.... both staring at him... They exchanged glances to one another..

"Alright..." Chara said softly, letting go of Frisk.. "Bed..."

And they laid down.... Still curled up together with The Temmie separated off from them across the still fading out embers.

 


	60. The Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It couldn't last.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So A LOT happened... Okay then.

_Something was wrong._

Something was wrong with, something was bothering The Temmie and both of them could tell. Because the more Chara and Frisk get into the bantering he does so less and less.... He's just so irritated, even more than usual and both of them could tell though they could not tell _why_.

Chara had spent the first month with him, watching him mumble bitterly to himself but now the bitterness has just expanded its reach to them..

He snaps and then deflates. Though he never apologizes she notices. Never.

The only time he ever has was when she had apologized first... about trying to kill him. And even then he had only gone: _Same, I guess._

As they all still had their distance between them.

But now it was different.

Something was wrong.

Really wrong.

And Chara should feel on guard, she knows. She would feel on guard... But something was wrong and you could tell it was something on his mind.

And no amounts of encouragement from Frisk, even an open mind from Chara... could make it better.

Actually, Chara was pretty sure it was making it worse.

She'd actually taken to keeping quiet about it now. Only maybe a week after the day with The River Person, who'd they'd seen twice across the water this week alone though they had stayed on shore and he on his boat. And The Temmie back at camp.

And something was wrong. Building up and up and you could just tell.

And Chara should feel on guard. And to a point she did. But not as much as she could have been.

It was just something on his mind and there was nothing to do but wait.... And keep up the momentum with Frisk. But Chara couldn't deny how often she glanced to The Temmie now.

He'd helped her and she couldn't deny it. He had really helped her but now that she was starting to get back on her feet he seemed so... Like he was burying himself into some giant hole and all Frisk and Chara could do was watch him dig. If they tried anything he just dug faster.

And it was tense. The most tense since the first week The Temmie had been there. Almost what? 4 months ago now? 4 and a half since she had been trying to kill him on top of that?

Had time moved that fast...?

And something was wrong.

And The Temmie, already a bitter grump at times, though with it all he held onto his snark.. now the snark was gone. It was more jeering than anything now. But still....

But still...

Everything has to end does it? Everything.....

It couldn't have lasted she had known but she hadn't expected the fall out this quickly. Or like this. In something so.....

The Temmie and Chara had gone out to check her snares, though he had grumbled about it the entire time. Accepting her offer to come but at the same time grumbling and grumbling.

And all it took was getting to the first snare and there it was. The rabbit dangling. Half alive and struggling to breathe. Struggling... Still alive.

And Chara had her dagger. Always had her dagger though she hadn't reached for it in awhile. Didn't sleep with it so close.... That small sign of progress she had reasoned. But now it was in her hand and pointed at something living.

Something calming, watching them in the meadows.... Calm... yet ready to flee if she just moved. And now she had one in her snares.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't. It was half alive already and dying slowly and she couldn't even do it. Put it out of its misery.....

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't kill it.

She was frozen.

Frozen.

And something was wrong.

"Oh come on." The Temmie snapped beside her. No patience at all. "You've worked so hard and finally got something and now you're going to choke up. Great. Not like I didn't have to deal with you being squirmish about killing the fish but then at least you did it fast and got it over with. Just do that here! Let's just get this done and get back already!"

And Chara stared at him.... Just... unable to comprehend him.....

Ever since the day where it had almost, just almost, been okay. The closest to okay she had ever felt in her life and ever since then he had just gotten worse and worse and worse and she just did not understand.

And she was frozen but still, able to stare at him, before staring back at the rabbit.

Trying to gather her courage. To work herself up to it. She has got to do this. It's going to die anyways. It's going to die. Just kill it. It's an act of Mercy at this point.

But she's the one who'd set the trap. She's the one who still had done this to it. It is still her fault.

Can it be Mercy when it was still her fault?

"Just do it, Chara." The Temmie snapped again. "It's just an animal-"

"And you were JUST a MONSTER!!!" She screamed, turning back towards him.

The Temmie snarled as he crouched downward, staring back at her. The frustration clear in his expression. Chara gasped as the pellets formed around him. But his attention was snapping away from her and towards the poor dangling half alive rabbit. That in a second was no longer half alive or dangling. It was dead and cut down to fall roughly against the ground with a sickening snap then thud.

Chara-

"There. Wasn't so hard. Let's just get going."

But Chara...

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" She breathed. "What the hell is your _problem_?!" She doesn't understand. She really does not understand him. Helpful in the one moment and an utter ass in the next. She could not-

"Well that's just the million gold question ain't it but you really shouldn't care now should you?" He snapped though he wasn't turned to face her. Chara shook her head.

Impossible, impossible, really truly impossible.

But she couldn't breathe, she realized. She really couldn't breathe. Calm down. She turned quickly away from him and stormed through the trees in the direction she knew lay the water..... And The Temmie did not call after her. Even if he had she would not have gone back....

Something was wrong, she knew he was hurting too but she isn't going to stand there and take it. She just got back on her feet it seems and him trying to drag her back down, she will not. She will not! Him or her, she had told him. Him or her. And she wanted to help but The River Person had said it himself. You can't force someone to accept it and she could not let herself be dragged down.

He could come back to talk to her when he wanted to actually apologize. He could come back to talk to her when he was ready to either talk about what the hell the problem was or at the very least stop acting like this- Idiot. Idiot!

But she had reached the water, her breathing not calmed. And she realized.... she was crying. She was crying again.

She'd been hurt and she was crying.

She crouched down by the water, supporting herself with her heels as she hugged her knees and dared to bury her face.. As she fought the tears and swallowed them down. And she had just managed it when she heard someone coming along the shore.

But even before looking up she knew it wasn't The Temmie. It was too big. It was Frisk.

Her brother stood there, his expression even sadder when he saw her face. Chara quickly tried to dry her eyes even more and breathe in properly. Frisk approached slowly, crouching down next to her.

"Temmie said... you needed me." He told her.

"Oh, that so?" Chara mused, her voice shaky.

"He said he... messed up."

"Right."

But that only made Chara on the verge of crying again, and she closed her eyes and buried her face. In a moment, Frisk was wrapping his arms around her, hugging her as best he could at the awkward angle.

"I can't do anything right." She told him. "Nothing right. Killing or Mercy. It just never goes right. What the hell am I even here for?"

"Hey...." Frisk whispered gently. "Wanna hear a secret?"

"What?" She whimpered through her arms.

"So you know The River Person said, just hold onto the good things? Wanna know mine?" She lifted her head and rubbed at her eyes again.

"Don't be sappy." She complained. She knew it was going to be sappy. "You're going to say it's me."

She already knew that.....

"What? No." Frisk said, as if she was ridiculous. Chara blinked and stared at him, thrown off.

"Th-Then.. what?"

"Here, look. It's right there in the water." Chara sniffled but drew closer with him to see what could possibly be there.

But there was nothing. Nothing but the stones and the weeds and her own-

Her own...

She stared at her own staring red eyes as Frisk rested his head against her shoulder.

"It's you!"

And Chara laughed, lifting the back of her hand to her mouth as she hiccupped. His humor was getting truly awful. Just awfully dreadful. But there was Frisk beside her in the water and the reflection Chara rested her head against his.

"It's us." She corrected. The smiles in the water widened.

They were idiots. Just idiots.... She knew.

"I love you..." She said softly.

She didn't say it often... And she hasn't said it often enough since... Since the day he had stood between The Temmie and her.... But she does.

"I love you." She said again. "So, so much and it scares me sometimes..."

But it's so warm....

"And I love you.." Frisk told her back. "And I think....Chara I think that's what's wrong with Temmie." Reflection Chara frowned.

"What do you... mean?"

"When we were playing in the water. When you were talking to The River Person. Temmie was acting at first but then he actually got really into it." She tried to nod but it was mostly just hitting her head against Frisk's a bit... But it got it across anyways. "I think that was the closest to happy I've seen him. Like, actually happy..... And I think that terrifies him."

Chara stared... and she realized that..... Yes. Yes.

That makes sense.

...... Sometimes..... Sometimes Chara just seems to know things. About people. Just looking at them. She just knows things and no one has to tell her. Ever since she was little. Ever since the camps. Just absorbing it into herself and she can just know. Read it.....

But this time she knows nothing.

Other than this....

He is too much like her.

But at the same time, she thinks..... And it terrifies her.....

She thinks he was once like Frisk.

Because some of the things he has done for her..... Some of the ways he has looked at her. Then at Frisk...

Him coming out here to begin with.

He was once like Frisk.

And now....

"........ But what do we do?" She asked. What could they do? They couldn't force The Temmie to do anything or accept it.

Reflection Frisk visibly bit his bottom lip as she bit the inside of hers. She'd never realized before... that they both did that even if just slightly different. Who had picked it up from who, she wondered....

"He can't keep acting like this." Frisk agreed. Though she supposed he didn't know he was agreeing with her, that silent tangent she'd had racing here. And now there was another thing, she realized. Frisk needed her and Frisk or Temmie she'd pick Frisk. Always pick Frisk. And she could not be dragged down. She would not.

"Yeah he can't keep acting like this but what are we going to _do_?"

"....." Reflection Frisk looked lost... "I don't know." He admitted sadly. "All I know is... he looked really upset that he'd upset you when he came to get me. But then he was also..."

"Upset that he was upset.."

"Yeah...."

"...... I don't... want him to be upset." Chara admitted. "But he.."

"He made you upset too."

"Right and now we're talking in circles and this is getting us nowhere."

"Eh...."

Chara laughed softly. But then there was silence as the two children thought....

"Let's just go back to camp." Frisk said.

"My snares.." Chara told him.

"Oh... Okay..." The two of them got up, Chara's ankles killing her and thankful for it. And they walked through the trees, thinking but at the same time pushing each other playfully with their shoulders as they walked.

And thankfully, though Chara would not admit it because that meant less food, there were no more rabbits in the snares. And the rabbit at the first one she reluctantly brought Frisk back to. It was gone.

"Maybe Temmie came back and got it."

Or a wild animal......

But when they got back to camp, there it was. Sitting there by their dead campfire. But Temmie was nowhere to be found.

Chara's heart skipped and she shared a concern glance with Frisk. The fear real.. that he had just gone. Chara turned her head back towards the trees.

She's wanted an apology. She'd wanted him to just.... But the thought of him just leaving.

"Temmie!" She called, her breathing quick.

But nobody came.....

"Chara..." Frisk's hand was on her elbow and Chara lowered her head.. "He might come back." He offered. "Let's just cook supper... I'll go get some dandelion leaves. There are a few left in the meadow. And I found some onions- or- the not onions. The smaller ones."

"Chives."

"Yeah."

"Remember to just take the tops." Though he knew that very well and she didn't need to say it-

"Right." Chara realized she was shaking- Stop it. Just....

She took a deep breath and began to glare at that stupid rabbit.

She needed to skin it- hopefully she could do that. And she needed to get the fire started.

Just focus on those things and don't worry. Worrying will get you nowhere.

Cook.

Frisk was standing there, not leaving her like he had suggested. As she stared at the stupid rabbit.....

"I can do that." He offered.

"No, I can do it." She had to do it. Frisk smiled for her. She knew they were going to go do it together.

They took the rabbit and pot together and as she talked him through what she was doing, cutting through the rabbit's fur even as her stomach turned and turned, he was right there, hand on her shoulder and watching. And Chara tried not to look at herself in the reflection of the water, the blood on her hands, so much worse than the fish- She tried not to look at herself.

But when she accidentally did, it wasn't as bad as she had expected. Because it's her. But there was also Frisk.

And it's her...... It's her.

And as Chara is cutting through the rabbit, she can feel it. The magic. Magic there to preserve it. But Temmie is still nowhere to be seen when they get back to camp with the rabbit bits and the water in the pot.

"You stay here and I'll be back with the greens."

"Right.... Just stay..."

"Calling distance. Got it."

"Right..."

Right.

And it feels less safe with The Temmie gone though Chara doesn't want to admit it. Dimmer...... too..... Even though he has been such an insufferable ass lately....

And Chara is starting the fire. The flames growing higher and higher but still...... She's thinking about all she is going to put into this. And she feels..... It's not going to be a lot. Rabbit meat, greens. Not a lot.

She needs to go to the dumps. Or a camp. She needs to. They have so little. Running on the bare minimum. But she's been thinking that for months now..... But they really are running so low now and her shoes she has taken off to reserve for when she really needs them because they are that bad. She can keep getting by but the moment the air became cool it wouldn't suffice. She needed to go to a camp.. But she just...

And Frisk came back. Still no Temmie. No Temmie as Chara cooked up the meat, a little bit of water, the greens. It's not much. The rabbit so tiny. But enough for two kids she supposes. For one meal. And they save a little bit for The Temmie. For when... if he comes back.

He really might not come back, Chara realized in fear.

He might not....

But she can't care. Can't care. It was inevitable. Inevitable.

But if it... if it had happened like this she would have at least liked to.. to say goodbye...

Say don't go yet.....

But she can't care. She can't care. Can't...

And she thinks Frisk is right. He's been terrified of caring.

And now he's run.... He's run and he isn't coming back...

But he knew. He knew where they were and they were staying here for longer and she just-!

But something snapped behind them and they turned their heads sharply to see. The Temmie was standing there, a twig beneath its feet that had snapped and he was rolling it aimlessly against the ground as he stared down and not at them....

Not able to call out and get their attention. It was the snare all over again.

Because though he wouldn't admit it, Chara knew that first day, the snare, he'd done it on purpose......

They stayed still, silent..... Finally Frisk smiled though Chara could tell even for him it was half forced. It was a real smile, but the intensity of it was exaggerated...

"Temmie we were waiting for you. We cooked the rabbit, come eat with us!"

But he didn't respond... But he stopped playing with the twig and kicked it away. Chara was tense, Frisk was waiting too......

"I...." The Temmie began again. "I should apologize."

But the way he says it, it's like he isn't going to again... She's only heard him apologize once. Just once. That off-handed _Same, I guess._ Which is still not that much of an apology. He just guessed.

"Tem..." Chara tried. But still she could never seem to finish his name half the time. Even after so long... "Come sit with us." She offered. Because she knew she should... But he should apologize and he wasn't....

"I should apologize." He said again. "And I think I want to apologize......."

"Think?" Frisk tried to encourage.

"I think I want to apologize..." The Temmie said again and Chara's heart was racing.

Something's wrong. Something is just wrong.

But she can't quiet read him. And she can't....

"I think I want to apologize because that's the only way I can explain this fear... but it's just... I still can't be.. sure... I just..."

"Tem..." Chara breathed again. "Come sit with us." He shook his head. And he still he would not lift his face. Would not look at them. Looking at his paws.

"I think... or almost know.. I want to apologize.. because the fear of you guys not letting me come back... its there... But I just. I can't.... feel. I can't feel the way the two of you do." The two kids exchanged a glance, not understanding... "It's like..." The Temmie started again though before they could say anything. "It's like... all my emotions.. are buried beneath the water. I can see them sometimes. I know they are there. Just some are easier to come up. Like anger and fear. But even then its sometimes just... impatience and frustration and being bored or just unsatisfied. They come and go easy enough.... But anything real or important.... I can't... I can't _feel_."

"But..." Chara started. "But you've..." She can't comprehend that. He isn't making sense. He isn't saying the truth- Right- It's not right. It can't be right- "You've-"

"What? Gone through the motions? Fine sure whatever. Before when you were really down it was easier. Just don't make you upset! But now you've been trying to turn it on me too and I just get so frustrated because it doesn't make sense but at the same time!! I think it kind of does... Back and forth, I know that's how it works. But it can't last. And it is just not going to last so WHY should I keep trying?!"

"Hey.." Frisk tried to call, starting to shift in his place, ready to stand-

"Trying to care when it isn't going to last or mean anything in the end!!!" The Temmie lifted its head, glaring... He slammed his front paws down hard against the ground. "The two of you don't mean **_anything_** in the end!"

And Frisk was standing and Chara was frozen.. As if she was going to watch him put his hand in fire again-

"I SWEAR if you try to hug me!" The Temmie shouted though and Frisk stayed standing but in place as The Temmie began to pace. "You wanna know what's wrong with me? What my PROBLEM is?! You are going to die. Both of you are going to die. This isn't going to last and it's all going to fall through." He said again. "And you. are. going. to. die."

"You're... you're scared of getting hurt... You're afraid to care..."

But The Temmie. He just LAUGHED. Laughed and laughed, stopping his pacing and tilting his head back. Chara's stomach twisted.

She knows that laugh....

It's hers.

That laugh she does when she hurts. But it is just slightly off. As if what Frisk's said truly is ridiculous. So off. So wrong. So, so wrong...

Somehow, she feels. Frisk is going to put his hand in fire and he is going to actually get hurt this time. Chara began to stand up. Her heart racing as she got closer to his side.

"Care?!" The Temmie asked. "You think I CARE?! Well news flash you stupid little dreamers! You couldn't be any more WRONG. Care? You want to know how much I care? Ask me! Ask me just how LONG it's going to take for me to get over your little meaningless deaths! Go on! Ask me!"

"How... How long...?" Frisk managed, taking the bait.

"How long you ask? A week." The Temmie said, sure. "A week, maybe. A small, short week and that's that. I'll move on to the next thing cuz there is always a next thing. Had to be or else you'd go out of your fucking MIND, right?"

He looks it almost, right now... Out of it..... And Chara...

"You two... You two are nothing more than another distraction. Care...? You know what I'll do in that week? What I'll be able to feel? Do you think I'll grieve??? Actually grieve?? No. Nope. It'll be a week feeling sorry for _myself_. That it all got jumbled again and I've got to find something new. And. That's. That."

Frisk took a step forward and Chara's heart lurched but she couldn't move. Could not comprehend as The Temmie glared and snarled.

"I told you, you fucking dare to try and hug me and I'll-" Frisk took another step again. "What are you doing? Do you think I've learned anything from all of this? Being out here. No. Sparing me didn't change anything! She should have killed me it was the only way to end this. She shouldn't have listened to you... I came back and threatened.." But Frisk took another step and The Temmie seemed like on the verge of hyperventilating. "I don't understand. I still just don't understand. And coming out here's done nothing but..."

Frisk smiled for him.

"You're just going to die. Both of you are just going to die and I'm not going to feel..." But The Temmie growled again as Frisk got halfway there and Chara felt it. He was going to get burned this time, he was going to get burned- Chara came forward, but the moment she took a single step The Temmie's eyes snapped towards her, just snarling at both of them.

As the world went black. Seeped in darkness. But only for a moment for Chara as she recoiled. Shoving the sensation away and she took in a sharp breath.

"What was that-" She demanded. But Frisk... Frisk was still solid in front of her. Chara's heart skipped a beat at the red vibrant cartoon shaped heart- His Soul. His Soul! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Chara was rushing forward towards him, past the glowing yellow boxes, her dagger drawn and she would kill- hurt- hurt- "Let him go!!"

"You have to understand!" The Temmie shouted. "You have to at least feel-" The Temmie's eyes were off of her, despite the immediate danger she presented but he also.... "F-Frisk?"

Chara's head snapped back towards her brother. And he had not just been frozen by The Temmie's magic like she had thought. No, he was frozen in his own seeming terror- his gold eyes wide. As his face grew pale and his breathing... The world flashed dark again in Chara's vision as she concentrated on him. But only for a moment before the rest of the world returned...

"Frisk?" She reached out a hand. Just her hand. Grabbing him by the arm. The world was washed in darkness as she did and she lost her breath for a moment.

But that was when Frisk let out a piercing whine.

A sceam, so piercingly but without any breath to sustain it as he jerked away from her. Frantic and running away from her. And she was too caught off and shaken to react immediately, but when she did-

"FRISK!" Both Chara and The Temmie cried in unison. Chara turned to The Temmie, violent intent in her chest.

 **"What did you DO?!"** She raged.

"I-It's just a b-bullet board- It was just supposed to- I just wanted him to understand- It wasn't supposed to hurt him- If he could just feel-"

 **"GET OUT!"** She yelled. " **GET OUT!** Get out before I **kill** you!" The Temmie recoiled, shrinking back from her... as Chara raced after Frisk. Her eyes stinging- her breathing uneven, but she did not look back even with the intense betrayal she felt inside her chest, with the fear and anger much more.

And she finds Frisk at the water....

It's always to the water, she knows. Where they both go. Water or to the meadows....

And he is at the water, knee deep in it, holding his arms around himself as he shook and Chara splashed in after him before forcing herself to slow...

"Frisk." She called but hushed this time. Hushed. Cautiously as she came closer, trying not to scare him again. "Frisk..."

He's crying. Tears just streaming down his face and it breaks her heart but there is just enough rage and hate there at The Temmie to keep her balanced... And also the concern....

"Frisk..."

"Darkness." Frisk breathed. "Darkness. The Darkness, he has it with him. Dark.."

"Dark... ness..." Chara repeated. And she is staring at a 5 year old again in front of her. 5 year old boy she had just picked up out of the dumps. Or even before that. In the dumps. Hell even the first few minutes of knowing him. Huddled together with him, hiding. As The Darkness swept over the entire dumps. The 5 year old beside her shaking and holding himself but she had been just as shaken- But... the days, weeks, months, after that. Taking him to the forest the first time. And the nightmares that wouldn't go away. And the only thing he'd say. When she asked.

Tell me what you're afraid of. I can help you get over it.

And all he would say over and over, Darkness. Darkness.

The dark. Such an easy thing, she'd get him to get over it.

But he'd say it.

Darkness.

As if they are not the same thing.

And two or perhaps almost three years later now, she hadn't expected to come back except in her own mind. Understanding what he meant by the dark and The Darkness not being the same thing...

The maybe 7 or 8 year old Frisk in front of her was lifting his head, broken a bit. But smiling. Smiling for her, doing his best....

That same smile. Same smile. That first smile.... Bravery and kindness in a smile....

Chara reached forward slowly.... slipping her arms around him. Frisk tensed and Chara's heart ached again. But still the anger as her brother cried...

"He hurt you?" Frisk shook his head before burying it against her shoulder, coming apart now in her arms.

"No, no, me, just me. It's me. Just.. H-He killed him."

"What?" Chara breathed, not understanding. Holding Frisk tighter. "T-Temmie?"

"No, no, no... D-Dar... He killed him. She t-told me n-not to l-look, we h-hid and she c-called out b-but it was- t-too late. B-but she said n-not to look but I d-did and he k-killed him. He killed him- Tore him to- The hands- The just- Hands tearing him- Just to pieces- to pieces-" Chara was supporting the back of his head with her hand as he said it but he flinched and she didn't know what else to do but pet through his hair and try to hush him softly... To soothe.. "Sh-She told me n-not to look. B-But I di-did. She t-told me not to leave- leave my- my h-hole-"

His mother, the dumps. His mother- Oh- Oh! Justice. They were at Justice, the camp.

 _Him._ That bastard-

"He's gone." Chara promised. "He's gone. He's gone, he's dead, he's not coming back to hurt you. You or me. He's gone and he's not coming back."

"But th-they ar-aren't e-either..."

"Oh Frisk-"

"T-Tem.." Frisk began to pull back. "Tem- Temmie- We left Temmie- I r-ran- Temmie-"

"What? Fris-" Frisk was trying to pull away and Chara grabbed hold of him tightly.

"Wait!"

"He could g-go- He could-"

"Frisk! Just... Wait! You're not okay. You're not!" He's really, really not okay...

"Tem- Temmie needs-"

"Shhhhh.... You first. You." Always him first. She's promised that a long time ago and she can't think about The Temmie- She can't think about him-

"But he's hurt- He's hurt and he ne-needed me.. me to u-understand and I j-just ran. I ran... And he's.."

"Forget about him!" Chara shouted. They had to forget about him!

"H-He's scare-"

"I'm scared! He's scared me out-! He scared you out of your wits-!"

"Nooo. No, y-you did-didn't feel.. What he did.. Ch-Chara... He's r-really, really scared.." And the way Frisk says it... Chara stared, still holding him in place but his face and the tone of his voice... "H-he w-wasn't trying to h-hurt me, h-he's scared..."

"He said he didn't care..." Chara said. And as she said it... She feels hollow inside. Trying not to care either-

"He's sc-scared.."

"Of caring...."

"N-No...." Frisk shook his head. "He's sc-scared he w-won't... I w-was wrong... He's scared he won't care.. If- If it goes wrong, h-he's scared.. Because he's.. he's scared. He's sc-scared of himself, Ch-Chara.. th-that's what he wanted me to u-understand. He's sc-scared of himself... H-He needs- Please... Pl-please..."

Chara felt the tears going down her cheeks though she isn't sure when she started crying. When she stared shaking so much...

No.. No.. She knows.. She started crying the moment she told The Temmie to get out. She's been crying since the moment she told him...

But she can't, she can't, she... They _can't_... But....

"Temmie.." She breathed... She doesn't want to say goodbye. She doesn't want this to be the end, she doesn't want-

And Frisk is grabbing her hand, frantic to get running, and she no longer pushes back- They are racing out of the water, holding each other's hand... Racing through the trees... As Frisk shouted out fearfully...

"TEMMIE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one handled that well..........


	61. One More Time With Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try it again....  
> Breathing's just a rhythm..

The tub was still giving off a radiant green glow behind them as Papyrus and Chara sat beside each other with their backs against it. Chara was running the fingers of one hand across the palm of the other, feeling the newly healed skin. Her cheeks and eyes were still wet though she was no longer actively crying, and every so often her lungs would demand a few close, shaper but deep breaths as she recovered... Tracing over her healed skin...

And another strangled, left over sob squeezes in her chest and she closed her eyes for a moment, working it back down.

Papyrus turned his head away, staring off to the side as he kept on arm balanced against his bent knee, the back of his hand against his teeth. The other hand was in a tight fist in his lap, he can still feel the healing water between his boney fingers and how unnatural it is but at the same time how his natural own healing magic is very close to ruined at this point and it just drags his mind back to the questions that are plaguing him without answers.

What he is going to do...

How he was going to save........

And Chara was opening her eyes again, letting them drift down to her wrist. Not knowing the same things.... Not knowing, not.... There's too much going on in one moment. A few minutes ago she'd had burnt hands, a few minutes ago him healing her would have had that awful twinge to it... knowing she was just... something to heal to be used again... Even if wanting to be kind it still would have just been to be used again.

But he changed it. He changed everything. Blade against her wrist, his intent... His new intent...

But she... She doesn't understand... She.....

"Why though?" She breathed, bringing her wrist closer... "Why?"

He'd apologized, said she didn't deserve it... And she understood that. That line of thinking, but she does not understand why.... Why....?

"Why'd you change your mind...?" And her voice cracked at that, the tears threatening to come back up from her shaking chest.

But why? How? He caved... She hadn't expected him to cave.. Expected him to... to care.

To Spare.

He's Spared her..... This was him Sparing her... Even if he doesn't know how to get the others to, he himself has Spared her. The thing just last night he had made clear that he _wouldn't_. Just last night hurting her, just last night. Just last night reluctantly- Somewhere between Fight and Mercy and now they were at Mercy and she does not...

It should be impossible, she hadn't...

Sans and Undyne- The Misgosps.

Even Alphys had never... Not fully-

She does not understand...

".... Why?" She breathed again. "Why? I didn't even a-ask you to.... Why?"

"Why..." Papyrus breathed. He shook his head and leaned more forward. His knuckles against his forehead as he felt the pain in his ribcage. "Why. Because that's just it..." He told her. "That's just it. You won't ask why we're hurting you but you'll ask..... And you just..."

He closed his eye sockets for a moment, the sight of her face in the kitchen by the sink, asking about her Soul- Her face as her Soul begged him but he kept holding her down for his brother to use, for himself to use, and all the while not risking to actually beg except that one time-

 _*Chara Dreamer is Sparing you_...

And even then she hadn't really expected it, but she hadn't known what else to do.

Why...

And her face in the kitchen...

"You just... You just stared at me. Stared at me not expecting me to do anything to save you and you... You were going to die... You may still die because I don't know what to do.. But you were just standing there and the only thing you were asking was for... Your Soul. The only thing you were going to ask for was your Soul and you were going to die. And you still might die, but if I don't do _anything_ you really _will_ \- And I just... You just... You won't even ask or expect it. You won't even _ask_.... And my entire life. My ENTIRE life... Being told... You would manipulate me, trick me, and when it came down to it.. The only Mercy you wanted..."

He choked up but he suppressed it. He didn't deserve to cry. He could apologize because she had deserved to hear it but he did not deserve to be forgiven and he did not deserve to cry.

But the only Mercy she had asked for.

Her Soul.

To just be allowed to die...

She was going to die.

But she didn't-

"You don't deserve it... You don't deserve to die and I don't want you to die... I don't... I don't hate you. You asked me if I hated you and I don't. I'm supposed to but I don't.... I don't hate you but I hate that you're scared and I hate that you hate me and I... I hate... I hate that the only Mercy you expect from me is.... I hate.... And _just_.... I don't want you to die. You don't deserve it just like you never deserved to be here. That is the reason _why_ Chara and it is the only reason that should matter..... It's... It's the _right_ thing..." He choked again and he stopped, letting the silence finally win out because if he kept saying it he really would cry.

"....... I almost killed..." She began but trailed off and another something inside Papyrus broke.

"And we would have fucking deserved it." He breathed. "We still..." He covered his entire face with both of his hands now. "That's what **_I_** d-don't... I still don't get why _you_... Why didn't you kill him?"

Chara's grip on her wrist was relentless, very aware of how close to tears he was beside her and also aware of how much he was trying not to.... But this line of questioning wasn't one she was ready for. It brought her thoughts back to... to... but still....

"There's one thing I'm not going to take from you.." She whispered finally. As close to her heart as she can at the moment. There was one thing she wouldn't take from them... Even if they deserved it... She wasn't going to take them from each other, that had been the only thing. "And I... I don't want to kill again...." There was a spark of anger- "I shouldn't have to..."

Just wanting to be left alone, he remembered...

But the first reason...

He was lowering his hands, taking in a deep breath and forcing himself to pick back up his resolve even as her own head fell..

"You wouldn't take my brother...." He whispered, "why?"

The grip on her wrist... Painful and tight-

The answer is the same reason she had attacked Sans to begin with....

" _Because I think mine's dead."_

But she can't say it out loud. She can't. Not yet.. She can't- She doesn't want to _say_ it..

She chokes on it and she's silently crying again as she half holds her breath and forces herself not to fall apart. And the pain Papyrus can feel from her again, he doesn't need her to answer, he's already realizing it's going back to whoever it is she's grieving...

He looked away again.....

And Chara.... Chara realized she had another question though... Still wrapped up in the Why of it.

"Why did you let me out of the closet?" She breathed out... He had told her he didn't know when she had asked the first time... That he.. "You didn't know what to make of me, but why? Why did you even care?"

"... Because I was asking why... why you deserved it, why we were doing this.. Even if you wouldn't. And you had to. You had to deserve it... I had to convince myself-"

"But none of your questions..." All of his questions had undermined that process the entire way... If he had _truly_ wanted to keep her deserving it...

".... I already knew you didn't I just wasn't admitting it to myself..." He whispered. ".......I let you out because you needed me to, Chara.... I thought it: You desperately needed a friend....."

Someone, something to keep her going..... She couldn't do it alone.

Chara... the tears were in her eyes again.

Doing something for her even though she is supposed to be the enemy, just because she needed it. Being her friend, or at least being kind, just because she needed it...

That thought. That sentiment.....

* * *

 

 _"Teeeeeeemiiiiieeee! TEM!" Frisk's voice was frantic and_ Chara was frantically following behind him now. Frisk had let go of her hand, cupping his mouth as if it could make his calls any more clearer, louder, reach farther...

And no matter how much Chara wants to call out too.. She can't. Her voice is stuck in her throat whenever she tries to do anything louder than a whisper. Louder than a breath... But she wants to call out. It is there in her chest and she's still crying but she can't....

Her heart is racing and her red, crying eyes darting around though everything is blurred and she can't really see... As Frisk raced through the trees, as he kept calling out-

But each time-

Nobody came....

Nobody.

No matter how much Frisk calls out nobody is going to come. She half knows it needs to be her.... She's the one who told him to get out and she has to be the one to call him back because Frisk is Frisk and of course Frisk is going to want to call him back, and Temmie thinks they still don't understand, and honestly she doesn't, she doesn't understand what is going on. Only that she is running with Frisk, crying, searching. Knowing he isn't going to come back...

Even if they go back to the camp and wait, this time he will not come back....

She told him to get out...

And he's gone.

He's gone...!

Right after he had admitted to being afraid of that very thing, that they would not let him come back and then she had told him to get out....

She can't apologize though, she thought he'd hurt Frisk. She still thinks he's hurt Frisk- But she's hurt Frisk before too- And she does not think he truly meant to- But what had he been thinking? Knowing how she would react- But-

Something's wrong, and Frisk's right, Temmie's hurt too and she just-!!

This is a mistake- The fear inside her chest is squeezing.

Because Temm- The Temmie was right. She was right. It couldn't last, can't last. It's going to fall apart. It's already falling. Already apart. To go after him is to prolong it. To make it hurt even more... And it hurts now... Yelling at him had hurt but Frisk had been hurt....

"Tem..." She breathed, trying to shout along with Frisk but she can't.... It's only a softly managed sound...

It's pointless, it's pointless.....

It's all pointless.

But no matter how it ends, she doesn't want it to end like _this_..

But its going to end like this......

As they looped back to the meadow, as it sinks in. Even as Frisk doesn't want it to. Refuses, as he keeps calling out, and it hurts to hear.... As he stands there.. And Chara collapses against the base of the apple tree. She's catching her breath but only because she's running out of tears, because she is giving up...

"I'm sorry, Frisk.." She managed. "I'm so sorry.. It's my fault. I told him- I told him to go- I threatened- It's my fault and I'm so sorry, Frisk.." Frisk's shoulders fell as he turned towards her, the tears still running down his face... But there is no anger. He's never going to blame her, she knows. But she very much blames herself.

But it was going to end. Always going to end. It was going to hurt eventually....

But the difference between Frisk and Chara is this and she knows it..... Frisk has actually lost people he's cared about before. People he can remember.... And she knows how much he hates it. How much he hates people not coming back. Hates losing....

"I'm sorry." She told him. Sorry she set him up for this. For this pain. She told Temmi- The Temmie to stay. She told him to stay. She let Frisk have the opportunity to get hurt. She willingly let him put his hand in fire this time... She should have known better... She did know better. Tem- The Temmie had known better too... "I'm sorry, he's too much like me.."

Though he had once been like Frisk and had lost it... That terrible idea. Losing that spark or even selling it... Though she knows that should be the norm. That Frisk only exists because she had been foolish enough to let it... Foolish enough to need it... Because she had known if she had changed it she would have lost something so, so important...

"I'm sorry.." Chara said again. "I'm sorry, he's too much like m-me.."

And she's horrible.

Because she can care. She can...... She just has to chose not to. Not to afford to... She has the ability to care but she can't afford to...

She has to be glad The Temmie is gone. Accept it and move on. Push it away. He's gone. And she can't feel guilty that he's gone even as she wishes it hadn't been like this.

She can't care.... She can't call out...

It's going to end one way or another.

"He's not coming back... He's not."

He'd force himself to leave and not look back the entire way... And if he can't care. Can't feel like they can. Then he really won't come back.

But it hurts in Chara's chest. Because The Temmie was once like Frisk and it had scared him that he can be that way. That he can just forget to care. He hadn't wanted to be that way.. But that's how you survive out here. Not letting yourself be attached. Her and Frisk were the exceptions for anyone who wasn't actually related... And even then they were the exception a lot of times for even that...

But she can't... She can't picture Frisk not caring. Not being able to care. She can't picture Frisk ever becoming someone like her and the fact that Temmie exists and if he really felt, or more rightly, didn't feel, like he said he doesn't then....

"I'm sorry." She whispered. And this time she thinks its to Temmie... The Temmie... "I'm sorry..."

She once apologized to Frisk, hugging him as he cried while they still lived in the dumps. Apologizing because big kids don't cry and she knew that he wasn't a big kid in the slightest. But that you couldn't afford not to be.... Apologized because she was going to have to force him. Going to have to kill that naive, foolish spark. Going to have to kill it.....

And yet she hadn't. She hadn't been able to. She'd instead protected it... She'd instead let him... Because she had needed it too. She had dreamed too...

And she's sorry.

She's sorry no one did it for Tem- The Temmie. She's sorry that she can't.... She can't help... Can't afford to... Because if you care about people out here... You can only care for one. You can only allow yourself to care about one person.

And that has to either be yourself, or if it's not...

There can only be one.

Him or Frisk, she had to chose Frisk. And she's sorry...

There can only be one person you care about. One....

Because if she ever allows it to be him 'and' Frisk, if one day she is force to once again decide 'or', it would kill her..... So it has to be Frisk. It's going to be Frisk.

Always Frisk.

But she's sorry.

He emotionally cannot care and she can't even allow herself too...

And he deserves to be cared about.

But she's sorry..

She's sorry...

She can't- She can't- Can't- _Can't_ -

But she didn't want him to go.....

She had her face buried in her hands.

"Please..." She breathed... "Please..."

Frisk's hands were on her knees and he stayed there, physically against her in comfort as both of them continued to cry... Even though they had cried so much, the both of them, already. And after a few moments of incomplete silence, their sniffles and huffing, the tears working themselves down, Chara feeling so heavy and tired....

"Please...." She breathed again, one last time, the pain in her chest needing released... "I don't want to give up just yet. Please..."

But still she knew... Nobody came. Nobody was going to....

And that's just the way it goes.

He was gone.

She'd yelled and he was gone.

She had said stay and she had said go.

And he was gone.

Chara uncovered her face, doing her best to dry her eyes with her tattered sleeve- another thing she needed to replace- their clothes- They had to replace so many things. They needed to do so many things. She had to think about those things. She had to concentrate on what came next-

There was no more time for resting...

It's over and he's gone, she has to keep them going. Her and Frisk... She took a deep breath.

"We need to get back to camp. We need to get back to camp and put away.. the leftovers or eat it." If an animal hadn't already... "We need to-" But Frisk... Frisk had his head lowered. His grip on her knees tightening as she spoke, as she tried to do what they had to.... But she could tell it hurt and she just- "Frisk... I'm sorry..." She said again.. But there were too many things... Too many things they needed to.... To.....

And yet, she was just so tired and heavy..

And yet....

Chara's breath caught as Frisk stood up. His fists tight and his breathing deep..

"Frisk?"

But he had her back towards her as he took a few steps forward into the open meadow. His fists tight and his head lifted.

"Temmie!" He shouted and Chara's heart broke.

"Frisk.." She tried again. Temmie- The Temmie was gone. He would have ran, maybe even fled across the river. He was gone and it was Chara's fault- He-

But still, Frisk stood steady, looking out across the meadow.

"Temmie I know you're there!" He continued.

"Frisk..." Chara breathed brokenly.

"No." Frisk said firmly, loud enough for his voice to carry. "I know he's there. I know you're there. I know you're watching and listening. Because Chara's right. Chara's right! You're too much like her. And there's no way you would leave without making sure we weren't following."

He paused...

"But more than that, even if you won't admit it to yourself, you're also making sure we're alright. That you hadn't hurt me. And you didn't! I was just scared! You didn't hurt me! I was scared and I'm sorry I ran! I'm sorry! You needed me and I ran away! I left you alone!! But I refuse to do that now! I refuse!! And Chara doesn't want to either though she won't say it! Because like you've said! She's a stubborn idiot! And just like you she thinks it doesn't matter...."

Chara could see his back tremble, as he suppressed a pained cry at the thought, and his voice broke for a moment before strengthening back. Strong. Forceful.

(Determined)

"My parents are dead..." He said, loud enough though it hurt, though it stabbed through him. "My dad and my mom and they aren't coming back... Even though my mom... I tell myself.. I hope she is alive. Even if that means she abandoned me, I hope she's alive. So she can change her mind to come back.. But I know she's dead... She loved me and she's dead and she's not coming back... It's just me and Chara.... but it doesn't have to be. Chara came back for me. Chara came back for me when she didn't have to and when she thought it didn't matter... And you came back too. You came out here to find us even though you didn't understand. You both don't think it doesn't matter but..." He took another deep breath. "But you both want it to..

"You say you can't feel and you can't care and maybe it's true but you want to!! You came out here to begin with! You've helped us and you helped Chara and you helped me!! And you think that doesn't matter because you can't feel like you think you're supposed to and you're afraid and you say it doesn't matter but it does!!! It matters even more!! If you can't care... Can't feel.... Everything you did matters even more because you still did it!! Even if you can't care or feel you still want to and everything you've done even though it's hard and you're scared, it matters. It matters even more because it was hard and you're scared. It matters and you matter and we matter and I-! Please come back... Please... I want you to come back! Please... I want to help. I want to help! And maybe I can't help. Maybe I really can't help you care or feel but that doesn't matter!"

He stomped his foot.

"It doesn't matter! I'm still going to be there anyways! Not going to stop being there for as long as I can!!! Because I'm the one who doesn't care!! I don't care!! I don't care that you don't care!! That maybe you can't feel! I don't care about any of that! I only care about you!! Because you're my friend!! You're my friend and I care about you!!"

There was silence. Silence as Frisk breathed in deeply, staring outwards but nobody came.... The minutes went by and nobody came out of the shadows to see them.. Nobody came.... Frisk's head was falling.

But still he spoke.

"And even if you leave... Even if you still decide to go... I'll keep waiting. If you want to come back, you can. You can change your mind. Because... you're my friend. You're my friend and no matter what happens. Even if you had somehow hurt me. I would still want you to come back. So please....... Maybe you can't care but that doesn't matter." He lifted his head again and he turned back towards Chara, tears in his gold eyes as they looked ablaze. "I'll care enough for the three of us!"

Chara couldn't see clearly as the tears continued to blurr everything..

"Tell him I'm sorry." She whispered because she can't do it herself. She can't.... "Tell him I'm sorry, tell him I want him to come back too. "

Because she's scared too. .. To say them. To care because she can't fully. She can't... But if Frisk is already going to care this much whether or not Temm- The Temmie is here or not.

"Please tell him I want him to come back... Tell him that I'm- Tell him that he's an idiot and I want him to come back..."

But Frisk smiled brokenly and offered her his hand. To help her stand. Encouraging her... Chara's stomach squeezed but she took it. Accepted it and stood there beside him...

He's gone. The Temmie has to be long gone by now. But she....

The words are stuck in her chest. And she can't. She can't say all the things she wants to say.... She can't.

She can't admit it to him.... To herself. That he's her friend too..... But if it's for Frisk... Frisk...

"You idiot!" She cried out. "If you leave after all of that than I'll really never forgive you!"

And behind them, there was the softest of broken laughter, hopeless broken laughter..

Chara and Frisk gasped as they turned around. Staring at the bit of brush closest to the apple tree.

"Temmie!" Frisk cried. The Temmie was coming out of the brush, his head down and his entire body heavy and tired looking.... And when he looked up, for the first time Chara could think of, there were tears in the back of those black eyes. But it was so heavy.. The laughter he had let out had been so hopeless sounding and his entire stance....

And he opened his mouth but he couldn't seem to speak either and his head just dropped. Frisk sprung forward, and The Temmie didn't even protest this time as the boy scooped him up. The Temmie kept his head down, his front paws dangling over Frisk's arms as the boy held him close for the both of them. And Chara stood across from them, the pain still there in her chest as she continued to cry...

"You just don't understand... You just don't, you idiots, you just don't.. I don't understand.... I'm going to betray you, or you're going to die... I'm dangerous and I can't.... I can't... I'm dangerous, I can't..."

The boy simply hugged him tighter.

Chara's heart hurt...

She came over to Frisk and The Temmie and wrapped her arms around Frisk though she can't bring herself to hug The Temmie.... But though she can't hug him, she can at least offer this one thing....

"Don't cut yourself so short, you idiot." She whispered....

Because Frisk is right. He's right. The Temmie wants to care. Wants to. And that means something too....

And maybe her and The Temmie can't.... can't ever fully close the gap between them. But he needs someone..... Chara and The Temmie can't.... But Frisk.. Frisk.

"I'm sorry too..." The Temmie said and Chara's heart hurt even more with the confirmation that he had heard her- "I want to be sorry.. I'm sorry.." The Temmie said and Frisk squeezed him, burying his face against the top of The Temmie's head. "I just don't understand.." The Temmie said and when he continued, Chara could hear the clear, undeniable crack of tears in his whisper... "Why are you being so nice to me?"

* * *

 

Being kind to someone just because they needed it. Being a friend and offering a hand... Even to the toughest of enemies.... Just because they need it.....

And she can't help but feel like crying again....

Because that is such a Frisk sentiment it hurts.

And it coming from the Monster beside her. The one she'd been so certain.... That'd he'd sold that part of him-

Temmie who had lost it, Papyrus who had sold it, Frisk who had refused.

And she just hadn't expected Papyrus to....

Not with Sans. Not with Undyne. Not with....

But there it was... A Frisk sentiment from someone who she had thought had sold that part of himself so completely... So completely she hadn't expected him to Spare her....

Her head is spinning. Her head aching from crying so much but her thoughts spinning and she can't stop crying.. Even as she kept her hand pressed to her lips, swallowing down tears again and she was thinking, thinking quic, but she felt so torn up and everything a haze- Too much- All of it at once-

"But what do we...?" Papyrus began again. "What do we do? I don't know what we do from here... Where to go, who to talk to.... I don't...."

"Nothing." She breathed. Papyrus jolted.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said again. "Just.. Just for a moment. For a moment. I just need.." Her head was fallen and she just felt so heavy and tired... "I just need a moment."

To stop thinking, worrying...

Acting too hastily isn't going to get them anywhere. Besides, she knew he was right. about getting the chip. She'd just bleed to death if they didn't do this carefully. Or if she didn't just bleed to death, Sans would still come home...

They needed-

But no, no. She had to stop thinking. Just for a moment. Just a moment.

"Rest. Rest.. Just a moment, I need just a moment."

Just a moment...

To adjust to the fact that everything that lay ahead of her, her decisions could actually matter again... Might actually matter...

And she needed to rest, to clear her head..

It could not be a blurr. She could not get caught up in her emotions she just-

But there were too many in her chest...

Her decisions....

She hadn't expected this. Hadn't expected it at all.

Her decisions.

Her decisions when she thought they didn't matter. She wasn't the one in control. Never the one in control and much less ever since she'd gone to the prison and then to here. But her decisions.

They'd mattered. They'd actually mattered. Everything she'd done had mattered.

And it is there in her chest. She's going to cry again. She just calmed down as they had gotten her hands to heal but there it is again. She can't stop it. She's crying again.

Sparing Sans, talking to Papyrus, everything she's done they actually had mattered.....

She can't stop crying....

And she just needed a moment.... A moment to just let herself cry. And for the first time since this whole situation had started, the tears felt like.... When she finally let them run their course, she'd actually feel better at the end of it.. She just had to let herself cry. She'd been hurt and she just had to let herself cry...

It's not that big kids don't cry, she had to remind herself once again.

It's just that when they do, they get back up.

For once she felt like once she stopped crying she could finally start to get back up.

But she just needed the moment. Just a moment. A moment to cry..

"Just a moment..."

Cry. And then afterwards, she'd go back to fighting. Never stop....

And this time she wasn't going to be alone.

And she wasn't alone now, either...

Papyrus watched miserably as she cried, even though he knew half of it was still tears of relief... He wanted to do something but there wasn't anything _to_ do that he hadn't already ruined. She'd hugged him but wrapping his arm around her now would be too much... But he wants to. To wrap his arm around her and support her head, his fingers in her hair and let her rest against him. But he's ruined that.... But he doesn't just want to keep sitting there...

And he doesn't touch her, he can't, that's her are to initiate, he knows. But slowly he lifted his arm and he caught her flinch- But he only slid his arm across the side of the tub behind her. Not touching her, but still reaching out... And Chara bent forward even more in her fisted hands against her mouth, crying.... And she can't stop, she doesn't stop...

* * *

 

 _Frisk and Temmie were curled up on the mattress together_ , having cried themselves dead asleep as Frisk still refused to let go...

And Chara's own head was killing her from crying so much and she was drinking more water as she sat at a distance by the fire and watched them...

This thing.... They needed it and Chara would protect it for as long as she can... But she...

And when she finally got up to go over to the mattress, she curled up with them... Though she kept Frisk there between them...

* * *

Papyrus helped her to the couch, letting the green waters drain from the tub as he helped her stand up and she made her way on her own after that... She'd cried so much he had thought she would never stop, but she had... But it had taken everything out of her. Leaving her empty and yet her Soul felt so much stronger than he had felt in a really long time and it was a paradox he could not completely fathom...

But he could see that she was still not ready to talk about everything, just needing one more moment. The moment of rest to regroup that she hasn't had for 6 months. And it still was not complete, not true rest because there was still the inevitable of... Sans. Of reality striking.

But for a moment. Rest.

He'd offered his bed but......

The couch was fine. Just to let her take a nap.

The second one that day but she usually spent the day in the closet. Off and on sleep...

And she was just so tired. Always so tired. Her body's constant abuse and forced healing taking its toll.

And she nearly collapsed on the couch, her body sinking into the coushins and even there she tried not to think about how Sans had forced her to sit there against him- How she had tried to-

Luckily she was too tired for that... Sinking....

And Papyrus left her, going to the closet to get her blankets and pillow- Though perhaps he should change them-

But he got to the closet, looking at it and his magic twisting....

The fact that he was probably going to have to put her back in here eventually.... even now....

He bent down, grabbing the blankets and lifting them up. But his gaze was pulled to the far left corner.

The small green packaged tablet....

He faltered... Staring at it... Trying to figure out how she had- Only to realize he had given it to her himself. All that caution in trying to keep her from the tablets and he had given one to her himself to keep, and he had been the one to almost cut her open for the chip-

Papyrus reluctantly took the blankets and got out new ones, leaving one there in the closet, sure to cover the tablet back up while he took the other new one and the pillow out to the couch.

Chara was barely conscious already by the time he got there... And her arms wrapped around the pillow and she didn't protest as he pulled the blanket over her- A shaky series of breaths escaping her as her lungs remembered they had just been crying relentlessly. He watched her bury her face into the pillow, her eyes closing and his magic twisted and there was a pain in his chest as he let go of the blanket against her and stood back up...

And he escaped out of the room, to the kitchen...

And that was when he remembered the long forgotten cookies- the timer long since rung. They had to have burned-!

But he had only gotten half way around the island before seeing it.... The complete..... disaster. The complete disaster he had completely missed the last time he had been there, too focused on the girl curled up on the floor against the island and the sight only stirring him to act even faster-

But now he froze... Staring... The pans scattered every which way and the dough unsalvageable... And when he opened the oven door, the heat assaulted him but it was empty... And he realized...

 _This_ was what she had done to her hands.

And finally he let himself cry. Lowering his head in shame and cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Wiiiiillllll we evvvvaaaa get back to SAAAAAANS?!?!?!  
> Myself: Sweet Toriel, I hope so.  
> Me: Wheeeeeennnnn?  
> Myself:............  
> I: Well that's encouraging.  
> Me: asdhfjklashdjflkahfdjklahfjlkhsdjaklfh


	62. Distorted Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made.  
> One of them gets kept, the other does not.  
> Doesn't matter anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be a bit convoluted and I don't know what I'm doing but at the same time I'm trying to redirect us back to the plot I suppose. But some of the things might not makes sense till later??????????????????????  
> Idk. It got more complicated on me than it probably should have been allowed.

_Papyrus was so excited and happy with Undyne back he could_ cry- Though she was upset still, she could tell. Wanting to cry herself in a mixture of conflicting, complicated emotions and not all of them good. And that made Papyrus conflicted and saddened to think about- Upset that she was upset- But it was going to be okay now that she'd come back. Papyrus was going to be strong and helpful in any way he can to make her more comfortable and so that she did this feel like she had to leave again. Or at least if she did!! That she could feel comfortable enough to tell him.....

And Sans was silent and bitter beside him, staring across the Undyne with a dark expression. That scary, dark expression his brother had where the lights in the back of his sockets went out and he stared- Papyrus was glad he was almost never the receiver of such glares- and right now- he pretended not to notice it, too focused on Undyne for now. Trying to make it all feel normal- better than normal!!! To iron out the unease....

But still his brother stared; silent, dark and bitter.

　

* * *

 

 _The next morning was silent but for the birds_ chirping piercing from the distance to the camp and if you strained hard enough you could hear the river too... But there was silence.. Even as they went about their morning routine- Chara going out for her 1st round of snare checks..

Though this time she left Frisk and The Temmie at camp- alone.....

As she let it slip back to the way it used to be.

The Temmie's apologized and that was all she needed... It slipped out of her without a trace of bitterness. The apology had all she had needed.. and him trying to do the right thing. She let it go.... That's just the way it goes.. She and Frisk would not ask any more and he could say when he was ready. She and Frisk would not ask as long as he was willing to keep trying.. that was the understanding created through the one he had broken.

But she let it go, the entire outburst, with an apology and the quietly stated new understanding in the darkness of the morning... And that was all that had been needed.

Well... She began to realize.... There was... one thing.

* * *

 _Undyne and Sans don't really do the whole.... face to face_ thing.

Since she's come here that's been her thing with Papyrus. It's why Papyrus is the only one allowed to see her cry though she is resolved not to.

But Papyrus and Undyne talk face to face, her and Sans have a silent understanding. An understanding she has broken. And it was time for that face to face.

And Sans could tell she had been expecting it when he found her alone in her darkened hiding place.. Standing there as if she had been expecting him, with her head down in shame.

Because she smiled for the rest of the home, even Papyrus to some degree. Smiled and laughed her entire 'adventure' off, but she was upset and both brothers knew it- they just had their different points of view upon the subject.

See, Paps cared she was upset.

Sans was choosing not to give a damn for one simple thing.

"You hurt Papyrus." Sans said darkly.

"I won't apologize." Undyne stated and that made Sans' ribcage tight.

"I know. That's the problem." A very serious problem. Because fine, she'd left. Whatever. But she had hurt Papyrus in doing so. "He blamed himself for it."

That made her face change for a moment, surprise and pain, but she simply lowered her head

"I can't apologize." She amended.

That was only slightly more forgivable. Because there were things Sans hated to do but couldn't apologize for too.

"You could have told me." Sans stated. "I get why you didn't with Paps but you could have told me and when the interrogating got done I could have told him."

"Told you what?"

"Why you were going. So he'd have something to reason it with that didn't twist the blame."

"... It's not like I was planning on not coming back." She told him.

"But you weren't planning on it either."

Undyne faltered, caught out... She could say anything thing to that.

"So what was the plan? Where the hell did you go on your little 'adventure'?"

".... I went to the castle." She admitted. Sans blinked.

"What?" Out of all the responses, on the list of what he had expected, this has not even been on there. It would be on the list of Least Unexpected.. "What the hell were you planning with that?!"

"Nothing..." She realized. "There was no real plans. I was afraid I would psych myself out. There was just.... Just Act. Do. Fight."

"Fight.... The castle. Like... Queens and Kings and, you know, Royal Guards and all that?"

He gets the no plan part and being afraid. His own dreams... He doesn't have much of a plan there. Just what he wants. What he is going to have in the end no matter what he has to do.

But Fight... The castle....

Even that is a bit past his No Matter What He Has To Do because he thinks that may be a bit counter productive. Ridiculous.... even.

He's not sure he can picture himself doing it- Except he doesn't know her motivations and if he had that, actually, he could have, if he just understood what she was trying to do...

"What _were_ you trying to do?" Sans asked. Undyne sighed. "Alright, what were you _wanting_ to do?"

"Doesn't matter..." She mumbled.

"Well fine then, whatever." Sans was pushing himself back into not giving a damn. But he can't quite fully, as he glances back towards her in the corner of his vision, as he turned to go... Because he can feel it in the air. As if they are on the brink of her saying something else. As if she is holding her breath that contains the words, and it is stuck in her chest. Because she's upset, but it isn't a normal upset. It isn't even the upset she was before she left. There is something on her mind too...

Actually he thinks she's scared...

He paused.... Staring at her....

And he's grumbling to himself for it.

But at the same time....

"We're here for you, you know... If you just.. tell us what's going on.. We're here for you."

"But that's just it.." She whispered. "I don't _know_ what's going on."

"Heh. I get that much." Sans tried but Undyne shook her head. He really, really didn't.

"I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't anything like that." She told him.

"..... Okay then... what happened....?"

"I don't know! But..."

"Like you don't remember or...?" Undyne shook her head again.

"It was like a bad dream.. The pieces don't really make... sense."

"Like what?"

Like......

"Everything." Because when she had thought she had finally been getting it, she only figured out that she still had it very, very wrong... And yet... "And yet I... I was invited back. In two weeks, I was told to come back..." But Sans could tell that this was part of what was scaring her though he couldn't understand why. She was making no sense. None.....

"Are you going to?... Go back?"

"I don't know..." She breathed. "I almost feel like... I have to. I have to. Something's.... Something's wrong about that place, Sans. Really, really wrong... I think I have to go back."

".....Ookay... then." And he should wash his hands of it. Of this whole mess but he can't exactly do it. He tells himself its because she is so close to Paps. "But what do you mean you have to?"

".... I don't think I'll forgive myself not going back. If something is wrong and I just leave it be... then its partially my fault right?"

"I mean... No. I don't think so. You're protecting yourself where is the fault in that. If it's wrong I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.."

But.....

But Undyne can't ignore it like she's been trying to. It doesn't make sense and its crazy and she..... She doesn't want to go back because it scares her. But at the same time.... If she leaves it...

"..... Well if... If you decide to go back... You just tell me." Sans said finally. She looked up in surprise. "I mean, if you need anything. A way out for example. I mean. I know a shortcut." He winked for her, as he suddenly stood directly in front of her instead of at the corner... Undyne stared at him, remembering The King doing basically the same thing- "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve."

Undyne only nodded again. She looked down.

"Thanks."

"But you've gotta **promise** me." Sans began and she looked back up. "You gotta promise and trust me, I take promises very seriously and expect others to do the same... And you gotta promise me that if whatever bullshit your stepping in becomes too crazy you don't drag Papyrus into it. Paps or even me I guess. You won't drag us down with you. You got that? If you really care about us.. About Papyrus, I mean. You keep it to yourself."

Undyne didn't even hesitate-

"I promise."

She promised. Papyrus or Sans, neither of them were going to get pulled into this....

"Good!" Sans said cheerfully. A bit too cheerfully.........

But he was no longer dark and silent, but the bitter tone, Undyne could feel was not entirely gone.... Even if more accepting and relaxed.

A promise is a lot more concrete than a silent understanding made at night.

* * *

 

 _And there was one thing that Chara_ wanted. Needed.

One more thing.

As her and The Temmie were alone again for the first time, on her second round of checking the snares towards the end of the day. Exactly a day later, exactly a day since this entire chaos had started. And everything was almost there, almost able to just move forward. But there was one thing. One thing Chara wanted....

Though they walked in silence, The Temmie silent though knowing she wanted to talk.... But not seeming to know what to say. They both did not know what to say. Where to start....

Where....

"I... I shouldn't have snapped at you about it. The snare.." The Temmie said suddenly and Chara jumped not having expected it.

It isn't an apology, she notes. The apologies he had spewed last night are spent... That stir of emotion that had finally gotten him to cry.. Even if it was half in frustration, not understanding frustration... It's not an apology, but apologizing again wouldn't mean anything anyways... They've already done that..... But somehow, just him saying this makes Chara feel better.... But she wonders if it helps him... If he really can't feel......

"It's okay now..." She said, but she can't look at him. Can't make it matter as much as she probably could....

"...... This is a mistake..." He said finally. "You letting me come back.... It's a mistake, Chara.... You shouldn't have let me."

But he had wanted her to let him, she knows....

"I can't... You and Frisk.... I don't care like the two of you can..."

"I didn't ask you to." She whispered. "I told you. There would be no hard feelings. As long as you didn't betray us. If you left us to save yourself or whatever.... Maybe you can't feel but that doesn't make you any more dangerous than anyone else... All of us can care but we can't afford to so we don't. So its exactly the same."

"But... I hurt Frisk....."

"And so did I."

"......"

".... Look.." Chara started again. "I already decided I trusted you... Before all of this. And you hurt Frisk but you didn't mean too... You regretted it. So I'm still deciding to trust you. Everything still stands and I trust you..."

"... Chara.... If you knew everything..." He froze, the fear there.

How unfair, Chara reasoned. If he really couldn't feel the good things to counter it but could still feel fear that acutely, that was simply not fair.

"If you knew everything.. There's... There's something else I should tell you..." But he was very clearly not ready to.

"It wouldn't matter still." Chara decided. "Everything I said before. It's all just the same."

"...."

"..."

"Except?" The Temmie finally asked, feeling it inside her.

"Except.... There is one more thing."

"What?" The Temmie asked, she can hear in his voice that he's willing to do it.

"If it comes down to you or Frisk, I will leave you and not even look back." She reminded. "But that's what I'm going to ask from you..... I need to hear it. If it ever comes down to it. Me or Frisk... Me or Frisk, you will chose Frisk. You don't have to chose us over yourself, but-"

"Chara-!"

"Me or Frisk, you will chose Frisk." Chara stated firmly. "That is the only other thing I need from you. You chose Frisk......"

The Temmie had his teeth grit, wanting to say too many things before giving up and lowered his head in defeat.

"Promise." Chara demanded.

".... I promise." The Temmie whispered. Chara nodded forcefully.

"Then it's settled."

And that was all that mattered. But before she could take a step away-

"Chara..." Chara froze, looking back over her shoulder at The Temmie. He stayed there with his head down but still he spoke, "My problems... come from someone making a decision for someone else that he did not want..." He told her. "And Frisk... wouldn't want this."

Chara curled her fingers tightly.

"You will chose Frisk or else I will never forgive you." She whispered lowly.

"I know.... But I gotta ask you. Do you really think he hasn't already asked me the same thing?" Chara gasped, her heart skipping as her eyes opened wide. But in a moment her shoulders fell and her eyes went to the ground.

"Yeah, but.. him without me, he can keep going. Me without him... there's no.. no point... If you chose me over him..." There would be no her left to save...

"I know." The Temmie said again... "But Frisk does have a point, Chara."

"What point?" She mumbled.

"You're his sister, Chara.... Not his mother."

"I-!" Chara's mouth was stuck open for a moment, but she turned her face away as she grit her teeth.

"You will chose Frisk or I will never forgive you." She said again. And she meant it. Very seriously, she meant it.

"Just as long as you remember that it goes both ways, Chara... No matter how much you hate it."

And oh how she desperately hated it..............

Hated it...

Just like she hated the fact that it couldn't be both ways.... for her and Tem.... The Tem.....

And Chara and The Temmie- they went on, trying to make everything go back to the way it was before it all almost fell apart........ With Tem- The Temmie and Frisk closer than ever but Chara was still sitting off to the side of the fire, unable to join in anymore and it wasn't like it was before it had almost fallen apart. But it can be now with time. She has her promise. She can get close again. And they have made their promises.

Chara and Frisk and The Temmie and that's just the way it goes... The way it has to go....

She couldn't give in. They couldn't be family like she would want in any other type of situation...

But at least, the very least... She thought maybe they could still be....

* * *

 ................... Sans and Undyne aren't the closest.

That's just the way it goes. Sans, Papyrus, Undyne; Papyrus between them.

And later, even: Undyne, Alphys, Sans.

A square of connections.

Undyne, Alphys, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Sans, Papyrus, repeat.

The two of them directly across from each other. That's just the way it goes. The could be the closest of friends, best friends even.

If there had just been a few less arguments. A few less crossed lines and interests.

If they weren't so similar.

Trying to occupy the same space but in very different ways.

That's just the way it goes.

They can't be friends.

..... They have to settle with being family. Even if they at times drive the other past insane.

And that's how it happens two weeks later after their talk that Sans is helping Undyne get out again, right under the nose of all of the adults. And as he watches her go, slipping into the night, he silently has to wish her luck.

That she finds whatever it is that she's looking for....

But also holding on that she'd keep her promise because he really did think she cared about Paps...

Not knowing that this exact promise would later be the very exact thing _to_ drive him insane. As she refused to break it. Break it for him even when he asked. To include him....

That very same promise he had forced her to make....

The reason that as he raced through the dumps with Aaron, feeling powerful, strong. He felt the slightest bit bitter. Blaming her. It's her fault....

Keeping this from him....

Power.

**Strength.**

Just the slightest bit bitter.

But too wrapped up in it all for it to matter. It didn't matter, he had it now-

* * *

  _And Chara_ sat there across from The Temmie, not realizing that, yes she'd gotten her promise: her or Frisk. Him or her, The Temmie would chose him.

Not knowing, never realizing that there was another 'him or her' she should have been thinking about...

Well.... It's not like any of it ended up mattering anyways...

* * *

Even Undyne's resolve, even having kept it, it hadn't mattered in the end.

Sans was still working his way through the LOVE.

Finally getting what he wanted, what he needed and deserved.

Everything going right, finally- Finally something easy. Finally everything falling into place.

Liberating-

 ** _Finally_**...


	63. Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humanity......
> 
> And they called it Perseverance.
> 
>  
> 
> (Do me a favor, and read the next chapter with this. The next two chapters are just one chapter. Please....)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, you would have gotten this sooner if SOMEBODY hadn't had to spend three hours playing a certain something .If SOMEBODY hadn't you know... DONE THAT. SAfhsjdkhfjahdljahd. TOby fOx what WAS that?!?! You can't just DROP a 3!! Full HoUrS of GAME CONteNT with litte/NO fucking WARNING. And then doooooo THAAAAT.
> 
> You need to play Deltarune, guys. sfdfdamn
> 
> Also, I adopted 4 more kids, guys. sahfkdljsahdjlfhsjdklahfkjlovethemsomuchfjkshajkfhjlkhtobywtfdudepalfriendbuddysirhfthankyousomuchssahjkhlja
> 
> We got like 4 tags in the This Week on Tumblr top ten all relating somehow to Toby's madness....  
> BUT LIKE TOBY MY DUDE MY MAN MY DOG SGSDFSFDSSFDSFSDF

_Finally_....

Chara has been waiting for this since the first moment Frisk had shown her the tree, with its bright blossoms... The first moment when she had looked at it and something excited had sparked in her chest. The first real, good emotion she'd had that had been her own since she had gained LOVE. Seeing those blossoms as if the universe was offering her some sort of apology for it all, something good in the mix of it.... Hope.

Later of course there had been worry that the presence of the tree and then the two others nearby they had found, Chara had been terrified they had somehow stumbled upon an 'orchard', something someone else had planted, was going to come and use when the apples finally did come and they were setting themselves up for disaster. But as the small round apples grew and grew, nobody came to study them. Check on them. Treat them.. The few days Chara passed cautiously in watch, nobody came to check on them....

And finally Chara allowed herself to feel excited again. Excited and eager. The trees in themselves were glorious finds but the added existence of The Temmie...

Though he tired so easily- For a Monster... Though she supposed he wasn't actually a Monster it has been said... But he tired easily. But it was just enough for him to send just enough green magic over the trees twice each day, added stops to Chara's snare route.

And speaking of the snares, she's been catching more and more the farther she sets them, the farther she extends her reach into the forest... Catching more and more and it gets easier each time to do what she has to.. As The Temmie helps.. Carefully now. The first few times were tense, the memory of his careless outburst real and vibrant in their minds but he apologized- He's apologized- And Chara does her best to focus on how he's trying his best to help. Helping her work through it, or killing it himself if she asks- And he does not back talk to her, does not taunt. Even when she can feel the impatience setting in, he simply shuts it down. They both just... shut it down.

And if Chara is honest... Now that she is aware of it.... It's kind of easy.. to see what The Temmie means about not caring, feeling....

Everything he does has a weirdly calculated feel to it... As if he does some things only because he knows it is the correct thing. The correct response.... And not exactly because he wants to... She's noticed it before, but before it had only made her more cautious, guarded... Thinking he was planning something but couldn't know what. Now she can see it for what it is... It's just.. him. Trying to figure out how he's supposed to act anymore... A certain level of playacting...

But even so, she still thinks he cares... even if he is right in the fact that it isn't how it would be otherwise. He still cares.... Or else he wouldn't be doing any of it....

He wouldn't be doing it, things to please her so _eagerly_ almost, if he didn't at some level care. Or at least... wanted to...

He wants to care... Even if he really can't...

But it doesn't matter, doesn't matter.

She can't care... even if she really wants to...

So its even.

And that's just the way it goes. That's just....

And finally....

The apple trees. The apple trees, The Temmie's magic giving them just a small dose of protection that they wouldn't have otherwise had.... Even without that extra dose, the apple trees and their apparent lack of claim by anyone else, that in and of itself...

There was so much she could do with them... It's a gold mine.

Literally, gold.

She could get gold for the apples, The Temmie could preserve them even- at least some- they could stash them for the winter-

Have a stash, sell some, trade for things! Three apple trees!

If The River Person is still around by the time they are ready! She can do nearly anything!

But she has to be cautious, she knows. To hide where she got them, to not be stolen from... She has to be smart about this....

And finally she has to accept that she has to leave the river side. She has to finally take those trips she has been needing to make since the moment they had come out here...

But finally she also feels ready to.

She and Frisk and The Temmie sat together in the meadow by the first apple tree, The Temmie resting beside Frisk after using so much magic, and Frisk and Chara looking up, thinking... And all of them talking it over...

"We'll go to Perseverance." Chara decided and she instantly hates it. "We'll go to Perseverance and talk around to figure out how we're going to do this."

"Talking it out sounds like.. probably not the greatest idea." The Temmie stated tiredly. "Especially since I can't go into Perseverance with you.."

"I know, but I've got... someone I can talk to in Perseverance.. If I have to." And it makes her stomach turn at the thought... Frisk looked pale at the thought too, and he grabbed her hand, encouragingly.

"Yeah, but what if like, you're followed after you tell them what you have?"

"We can head over towards the dumps and if anyone _is_ following us we can lose them there. And hopefully find things we need."

"We're going to need more stuff to carry the apples in." Frisk stated.

"Right-"

"Speaking of, you getting the apples to where-ever you're thinking about..." The Temmie trailed off but his point was made already because everyone was thinking it anyways.

"I was thinking.. I've been meaning to ask you.. about that... The River Person..." Chara began. The Temmie had a side eye on her. "There's a pattern to him falling asleep and stuff...."

"He'll be awake still." The Temmie grumbled, looking away. Chara nodded. She glanced to Frisk, but he didn't seem any surprised by the exchange. He seemed to have figured out there was a pattern and that The Temmie knew it a long time ago... But still they didn't ask why or how.

"So we can plan with The River Person too. The next time we see him we can ask what he thinks..."

"He can't go into the camps either you know.."

"I know! But! If he helps transport and we hide them along the shore we can run it back and forth."

"Eeeeh...." The Temmie did not seem entirely eager about that.

"It's not perfect but what else can we do?" Chara snapped.

"We've got to take risks sometimes." Frisk told her. "And I don't think it'll be too much of a problem if we get help once we're there. They aren't coming to our camp. And if we do get stolen from, its not like.. we'll be worse off than before."

That was true. This was something Chara would have never planned on. And she wouldn't let herself plan on it next year as a sure thing. You can't think ahead too far in any of these things. You couldn't think too far ahead with this, either.

"You can take them to different places too. If you spread it around you'll be smaller targets, noticed less." The Temmie stated. Chara nodded.

But if they went to Perseverance, the chances of being stolen from to begin with are next to none if she plays this right... As much as she hates what she's going to have to do.

"Let's just make a trip to Perseverance and talk around and see how it goes." She said again.

"Alright, alright, whatever the two of you want." The Temmie stated with a yawn... Frisk reached over a hand, aiming for the back of his ears. "Don't." The Temmie warned.

Frisk curled his fingers and pulled it back.

"..... Maybe a little bit." The Temmie amended after a quick moment, Chara and Frisk laughed softly and Frisk began to pet him behind the cat ears. "Hell the two of you have wiped me out with your demands..."

"But we are very, very grateful." Frisk told him.

"Yeah, yeah, save it."

That only made Frisk and even Chara snicker, just a bit more.

And Chara watched silently for a moment, feeling warm but only for a moment as she went back to thinking about the task at hand.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow they would catch The River Person and make their way down the river. They would have to pack up some things because they probably wouldn't have a sure promise of a way back until the next day if they really wanted to squeeze in a visit to the dumps...

....... She hated going to the main camps...... She hated taking Frisk to the dumps with her....

But The Temmie had promised, he'd promised, there was that too....

And she still hated The Camps. Hated heading over to the dumps....

But finally for once she felt more in control over things... More filled with purpose... This time she had something to give, offer, and not just something to be taken from her. She had things to gain and not just lose. And even if it fell through, as long as no one got hurt, they wouldn't be any worse off than they already were. And this, with her, Frisk, The Temmie... If this fell through but they only were pushed back to being the three of them like this then she figured she could be okay with that bit of failure.

This summer has been filled with enough good things... She gained 3 LV... sure... That darkness in her chest... But in exchanged she'd gain- The River Person, The Temmie- Things are supposed to come in 3's aren't they? 3 bad things, 3 good.... The apples and giving her just a little bit of padding to work with, that could be the third thing.

If they just played it smart.....

If they just played it.....

　

_But she'd told him. She'd told him- Him or Frisk- She's told him-But the thought doesn't help the guilt-_

　

Chara hates going to the camps but what is she going to do about it? It's just a part of how this goes. You can't avoid them forever. No matter how badly you want to.

And Chara usually, most definitely, wanted to.

But it couldn't be helped. And if she has to go, its nice with Frisk and The Temmie as they moved across the water in the back of The River Person's boat.

It wasn't the day after like Chara had planned. The day after he had come by with two shady looking men in the back and they had let him pass without coming out to talk to him. The next day though, he had come by with no one there, and in an instant without hesitation, Frisk had smiled and come out to flag him down as Chara and The Temmie trailed behind, The Temmie already smiling like an idiot- Already playing the part of the fool again.

"Perseverance?" The River Person had asked when she had said it. Chara nodded and he had moved to allow them on. But she could feel his eyes on her....

Perseverance would not be his first choice to send her to adjust, she knows. It's not her first choice either....

But there was no choice. No real choice.

But if she had to go to the camps... It was nice.... to at least feel this much safer about it. To have two people aware and concerned even if they couldn't be that much help... But somehow it felt like some sort of anchor... That Perseverance wasn't just going to swallow her up whole.

"Any news?" The River Person asked warmly and it made Chara's stomach twist but in a good way.... But also apprehension because this was the opening to ask him about her potential plan.

"We have apple trees." She said. The River Person perked up at this.

"They'll have lots to offer soon." The River Person realized. "That's why you want to go to Perseverance. You want to sell them."

"Or something." She told him.

"You want my help."

"Or... something." The River Person chuckled at that.

"You just keep me informed, Chara, and I will come when you ask." He assured. Chara let out an easy breath. "I just ask you be careful. You have not had anything as valuable as this- Are you sure no one else is thinking the same thing as you about them?"

"I'm pretty certain."

"Just be careful." The River Person said again. She nodded. And she settled down into silence, watching the waters run by as Frisk and The Temmie played a bit rambunctiously beside her... "You aren't.... planning on taking temmie into Perseverance are you?" He asked doubtfully.

Oh heavens, no!

"Oh nos!" The Temmie broke in. "But tems bes so _worries_ if not to gos parts the ways."

It still makes her so uneasy for him to act like that... How easily he slips into the role... How convincing, too.....

"We're headed to the dumps afterwards..." She added. But she could tell in his stance that this made The River Person uneasy in and of itself....

This was her first trip back into populated areas since...... awhile. And it is to Perseverance... And she can feel from his stance his opinion on that. But what was she going to do about it?

Perseverance...

And the dumps... And typically... you didn't take people you cared about into the dumps...

But she figured, if she could live there with Frisk for weeks as a small child, she could risk traveling through it with Frisk and The Temmie for a single day...

And if she could deal with Perseverance alone, she could do it with three people backing her up, either physically or at least in spirit...

"You don't have to look or wait for us on your way back, we're heading towards the dumps..."

"Either way." The River Person stated. "I will keep an eye out for you regardless."

".........Thank you." Chara said softly, and she meant it.. Though she hadn't meant to choke up.

She pushed the feeling away... She focused again on the calming water, even as it became less calm and more polluted as Compassion merged with Mercy and the waters twisted down farther into the valley..........

It felt too soon that the boat pulled to a stop on the shore _-_ Just close to the camp and yet far enough to keep the cover of the trees. To be away from prying eyes. And to avoid the inevitable when The River Person would begin to pick up more people coming from the camp and needing rides to other parts...

And with The Temmie and with how- not ready Chara still was to deal with other people except on her own terms- this was the best place to get out without inviting trouble.

Chara stepped out of the boat, smiling as best she can for The River Person as Frisk hugged him. But she can't indulge herself to hug him this time. She has to put on her face. Stand up tall.. Get herself back into what she has to do-

"Now be careful, both of you." The River Person said again.

"We will..." And Chara could tell that The River Person once again wished he could do more other than let his boat slide away along the water.... It's just the way things...... It's just the way things go.

But she can hear the silent apology in his crestfallen stance. The silent: _I'm sorry_.... Because he can do nothing to just let her keep resting, playing- That silent sorry- She still has to Fight-

"Thank you!" Frisk called after him and Chara jumped to it as well.

"Thanks!"

The Temmie did not.

Chara took a deep breath, gathering up her strength, resolve....

"Okay." She breathed.

Okay... They were doing this.

Dealing with people.

And she kept her dagger close as the three of them turned around and disappeared into the sickly trees, climbing over the trash that the river has thrown about the shore in past flooding...

"Okay..." She breathed again... And she paused, closing her eyes and let out another breath. She jumped a bit, as Frisk took her hand and squeezed. Red eyes opened and she forced a smile for him, and squeezed back. The mere action making her feel a million times better...

"I'll be waiting right out here." The Temmie told them, sitting himself down.

And that made her feel a million times better too....

"Okay." She told herself again, its time to get back into the thick of things... She's got to... But at least she's not alone.

Frisk, The Temmie, even The River Person..

She's not alone.

Chara set the bag she had brought down beside The Temmie, hiding it in some brush and glancing The Temmie's way.. He simply nodded but Chara forced a small smile.

But then there was no more stalling....

The camp awaits....

....... Chara hates going to the camps- _The_ Camps- spread out across the valley. Shifting and changing and yet still the only sense of permanence. Of a strange sense of being... A sense of structure. The Camps and the paths, makeshift roads, dirt trails, that connect them. And the rivers.... The only sense of structure and order in the middle of the chaos... And yet somehow only enhances the jarring, bizarre nature of this living. Everyone connected and yet still so alone. So jarring- Especially when one has seen it... the inside of The Monster city. If one has seen how it could be if not for that all that's happened. Everything that happened before any of them were even born....

All those things that Chara reasoned shouldn't matter anymore other than the fact that they _did_ happened and now this was just the way things were, but in some way it all still managed to matter....

Chara hates going to The Camps....

There are too many people. Too many people, too many dangers and threats. Just in their existence and in their breath, the gaze of their eyes.

Chara hates going to The Camps.. Perseverance the most.

Chara hates going to The Camps.

Chara hates going to Perseverance.

Chara hates going to The Camps. There are too many people... And Perseverance is the worst one. Crowded and all of them shady, but it has the biggest market presence... Trading. Selling. People for hire and people looking to hire. And children running there in between them. And the children who have grown up into guards. The hum of magic sparking around everyone...

This and Patience are the closest to what one could call a human city out here. The only two that don't bother to be truly hidden because there isn't a point when The Monsters know its there... Though the true size, there is an effort in that. Because there is the wall around the center, the most prominent part of The Camp. The wall- Spiked metal pillars reaching to the sky, made from scrap metal from the dumps... And there are the outskirts around it, the trees though they look sickly and not at all as green as they could be and most are just there now with things attached to them in order to mark the location and offer direction. And in it all there are also the deep scars in the earth from past raids and attacks.... Converted into potential trenches and active guard stations... Ready for even more attacks.

Chara's only been caught up in two raids in her life, very close together and at the same mild though prolonged intensity, and both of them on Perseverance. Just two in her short like, but they had left enough of an impression on Chara that was undeniable. The first raid the first moment in her life where she knew, for certain, that she was alone.

It's has been awhile now since the last raid on Perseverance. Years, now.... Since **_he_** was killed.

That's not to deny the handful of raids on other camps, but honestly.... They were nothing compared to the past... None of those set to completely destroy. Just enough to remind humanity that they were not forgotten and so they would not forget their places.... But still....

Not like what was done to Justice.

If anything had ever been like what had been done to Justice...

The lack of raids, at first had made everyone uneasy. Everyone thinking that surely the loss of their greatest asset, that dark unspeakable evil of a creature... The Monsters would have retaliated.... The Queen would have retaliated for the loss of her most precious hand. But nothing had happened... Nothing... And slowly, the feeling had eased. And now, there was a feeling Chara couldn't deny... A strange feeling. Almost as if... Humanity had let itself settle a bit, even if they could not completely.

Even if it only made Chara a million times more on guard.

But Chara notices as she and Frisk get closer, there are less trees around Perseverance now. Where the campers are set up between them. There are less trees. More open spaces. And it made her more fidgety and ready to run. More people... More permanent-like structures.... A distinct hum in the air that came with the overlapping array of people living, just trying to live...

To keep going...

Perseverance... Built upwards from heaps of trash carried down by Mercy and Compassion that merged not too far west. Perseverance.. built up from heaps of trash and whatever everyone else had brought.

Perseverance.

Having survived more raids than any other. Always coming back like a weed that had been failed to be pulled up by the roots.

Perseverance.

Perhaps it was a fitting name for some but Chara thought that it really stemmed from the fact that this place, location, was just that ideal for this sort of thing. A necessary, convenient trap...

She's got have a mind to say that it was set up that way intentionally... The dumps where they are to lure them and keep them from disappearing fully into the valley and shadow of the mountain.... Why else....? It's too convenient... A handy _trap_... And humanity doesn't even care....

Perseverance.

Chara doesn't think its a fitting name. There should be another. The name Perseverance has too much of a feeling of hope. Of keeping your eyes forward. But in Chara's mind... In Chara's mind, it's not that. If she were to give this place a new name.....

She would have called it Spite.

But what did it matter?

It didn't.

All that mattered was that if she was going to sell something, this was the first place to go.... The most variety of things to trade for....

No matter how much she hates this place. That feeling as if the camp is going to swallow her up and never let her go- It is never going to let her out-

She feels tiny again. Small... And that darkness is turning inside her and it only goes away with the squeeze of Frisk's hand. Though she isn't sure at times who is squeezing whose hand and even if she knows who, she wonders still who its for.

And Chara feels so small and even a bit lost, or perhaps the word is disoriented. It's been... Maybe a year since she's been here? Could it be a year already? And three since the last raid...

There are so many people and Chara doesn't seem to know any of them at a glance and she dreads their heads lifting and looking her and Frisk's way. As the two kids walk together, close. Through the muddy path and the smoke of fires that burned despite the heat. There is the constant clanking of metal as people take scrap metal and bits and pieces from the dumps and make something new and useful. She can even hear the sound of what she vaguely thinks is a sewing machine somewhere but she can't be sure.

Voices are all around, calling out the closer you get to the center. Voices calling out trying to get you to come their way- they have things you need. Things you need and even things you want! Their crying voices wanting constant attention and Chara didn't want to give it to them. To any of them.

But there were things she did need....

She needed new shoes, these are falling apart and at camp she had taken to not wearing them but eventually the air will turn cold again and that won't do. She needs shoes, and Frisk needs some more clothes because he is growing out of the ones he has. And he'll need a new coat. And she should probably get another, too. And she needs _gold_ so they can go to Patience because it has been awhile since Frisk and her have had their teeth spelled and if there is something you don't want to lose out here, it is your _teeth_. And she is almost out of hooks too, but she can get by making her own, finding things in their trip to the dumps. And she needs more and newer rope or at least the material to make it, and she needs-

But her pockets are empty. For now.

And the thing she needs most is something she can't buy and the only person she can trade with to get it is herself: the courage to face everything in front of her.

Because she does not want to keep her gaze lifted but has to in order to move forward. Even as she doesn't want to look at them, any of them, she has to. You have to.

Get in. Get the job done. Get out. You have to. Keep moving forward. Freezing up is just going to get the thre- two of you- killed. Get into the camp, Feel your way around.

And she barters with herself. If you can get through this you can leave. You can regroup with Tem- The Temmie. You can go through the dumps and back to camp.

Funny how the dumps are a reward now in her mind.

It's funny how one perceives danger and safe, or at the least safer. And for Chara, for a very long time she realizes, the dumps have been safer than here in her mind though she knows she is the only one who'd say. Or at least, it would seem.

Perseverance....

The layout is slightly different, not just with more open areas... Different people, different shops, different _people_... Though she supposed if she really looked she could find a lot of things the same. Same people, different set ups and places, same people, same or different wares. Depending all on what people needed, and also what you could find.

Different people.

And there, as always, are the kids running around in-between it all, carrying wood when it got cold and buckets of water in the summer and like today. Relaying messages, others she knows are working in the gardens or green house, doing all their little parts... Their parts... Earning their keeps-

And Chara kept her head down and Frisk close just in case she was mistaken for one of them. They were mistaken....

The layout is slightly different, but the nasty smell of it is the same. That awful mixture of trash and fire and people, and it makes her stomach turn. Especially the farther in they go. The farther they go in, there are even less trees , and if there are, they fail to be completely flush and green.... The farther in, the farther into the heart of it. The world seems to drain of colour.. As the wall rises up before you.

The layout and everything around it has rotated and shifted and changed into something different, but one thing still remains.

There in the center of it all.

The house made of stone in the middle, the most permanent of structures you could get in the most permanent of camps.

There this guy who called himself Kane lived.... And his title he keeps "The Mayor"... In the stone building they called "Haven"...

And the worst part is... it wasn't named that in intentional irony....

Chara pulls Frisk closer. Holds him closer as she glances around, her shoulders around her neck are hiked up as she wishes she could make herself smaller, less noticeable. Invisible again. Though she knows at one time for awhile she had been anything but invisible.

Chara pulled Frisk closer as they walked past the entrance, not daring to look in that direction or upwards towards the teenagers and adults peering out across the open spaces and trees. Chara holds Frisk close.. As she glances around quick but at the same time hikes her shoulders protectively as she wishes she could make herself smaller, less noticeable. Invisible again.

Smallness, the fear. Especially here-

Here.

Perseverance.

In the center of the web....

This place that wanted to swallow you whole... You and your very Soul.

She refuses to go back behind the wall. At least.... For as long as she can.

Because if Chara is very honest, and she has to be, you all have to be honest to yourself about these sorts of matters even if you lie to everyone else and to yourself about other things. Chara has to be honest. She's let her connections grow stale. Her knowledge has dwindled in her absence. She had once been so on top of things. Crafty and smart and resourceful and all of that has fallen through. She's stopped taking risk. And she knows it. With Frisk... she's taken the safest routes at all moments except that blurred few days where she had nearly lost herself, so sick of being pushed...

But she has let her connections fade. Whose even still around? She doesn't know who she can trust here anymore...

Except in some sick way, she can trust.... him. Him, The Mayor. The man named Kane.

Or she supposes... trust is not the word for it. No, it's not a genuine trust and she knows that better now. It's not trust like she trusts The River Person or Tem- The Temmie. And it is most certainly not like she trusts Frisk. It's not even like how she's trusted other people like the old lady, Berry, she'd known in Justice from her time going back and forth relaying messages and making deliveries. Berry- The old lady just wanting Chara in her circle.

It's not the same... there is a difference between having someone in your circle and having them under your thumb.

But Chara 'trusts' him because she knows how he works. She knows what she is dealing with, perhaps, is the better way to word it. She knows what he is and how to deal with it....

Even if she doesn't want to, she at least knows how this works. Too well, she knows how this works. The give and take. The back and forth. Keeping your debts even. What you _owe_...

One could call it a safety net, she supposed..... but she knows there is nothing in it about safety.

But at the very least she knows what she would be getting into.

But not today. She refuses to go today or have anything to do with Kane, today. Maybe she wouldn't unless she was dying but most definitely not today. Especially as it is hard enough dealing with everything else. The mud, the sounds of metal and hum of magic and the smell of blood.....

Chara and Frisk froze at the sight of it on the ground. A lot of it... And everyone else was walking around it without so much as a nervous glance. Just ignoring it....

She can deal with it. She's dealt with it before... She can deal....

But.... She's staring at the blood, holding Frisk's hand and just staring.... Wondering whose blood it is... What did they do? Which rule did they break?.... How old were they....?

All camps have their own rules. Some more than others.

Patience and Perseverance are the only ones to have any sort of government.

They have to...

They are too big.

But Perseverance....

It's the most dangerous of The Camps- filled with the most dangerous of people and everybody else to boot- but it is also in some strange, sick, sick way, the safest because of it too...

Because the most dangerous man of all inside it is the one with all the power, control...

You have to behave.

Because if you **_don't_**....

There are **consequences**.

And no one is above them.

The Mayor.... He may have been called The Mayor... But everyone knew what he really was..

If one did not Fight The River Person out of respect, then The _Mayor_....

The River Person may have been a Monster in disguise, but The Mayor was the truest monster of the two, and Chara knew it...

They said that he once led a militia group like some sort of general and Chara believed it. She had to. She's known him too long to doubt it. She's seen...

She was no stranger to blood because of him. She was no stranger to fear. To responsibility and debt and...

Hate.

She hates coming to the camps. She hates coming to Perseverance...

And the man inside the stone hose....

He _is_ Perseverance.

From the guards and the mages, to the smallest child.... All of them in his web.

She believes the stories of him being the leader of a militia when he was young because the simple fact is that nothing has changed. Nothing.... Except for the fact that now he doesn't have volunteers.

He's made it so almost everybody somehow... owes.....

Owes him or somehow owes the system and at its heart, he is the system.

He **_is_** Perseverance.

And you dealt with it because _that's just the way it **goes**_.

Chara isn't sure how it happened but it's just the way...

Everyone behind the wall is somehow in his web, and if you aren't yet you better not stay long enough for him to notice you. Invisible....

Before his twisted web of what he thinks is fair and just somehow ensnares you. But at least he has something, some way of thinking, that he does consider fair and just. And Chara knows how to deal with it. Get his help, give him a part of the profit. Make sure its even and don't budge if he tries to offer you more than you've asked...

Don't be found under his thumb... All your struggles will only get you farther in.

But she can deal with it. She's dealt with it before... Even with it sick and twisted and she can see even more clearly just how twisted it is now that she's met Frisk... She can deal with it.....

Chara can deal with it, with him. She has done it before. She can deal with it, but...

.... She doesn't want to....

She shouldn't have to....

And today she isn't going to.

And Chara forces her and Frisk to keep going. To walk past the wall and the blood and the questions.

As her and Frisk walk around Perseverance, trying to get a feel for the camp again. The layout and the feeling.... Gathering information before they act. Trying to be invisible and worthless.

Being worthless was a tricky thing... Being worthless anywhere else made you free EXP... But here with the guards all around... The rules...

That was why Perseverance was both the safest and the most dangerous place. But that didn't mean someone wouldn't still notice you and follow you on your way out.

Be invisible, unmemorable. Except just memorable enough.

Finding that balance. Figuring out who to be memorable to and who _not_ to be _._

So Chara and Frisk kept close. Walking...

But they couldn't just keep walking in circles forever.

And Chara had an idea as to what to do next but she was curious and also... in need for a bit of reassurance.

"What do you think?" Chara whispered to Frisk, though she still eyed the people around them.

"There was an older lady with a shop that looked really... permanent. She had a lot of jars inside. It looked like food." Frisk told her. Chara nodded. She'd seen it too. The little half wood and half tent shop closer to the wall and a red painted stick drove into the ground by the door. "We start there?" Frisk wondered aloud.

"My thoughts exactly." Chara admitted with a small sense of relief and she offered Frisk a smile. He immediately smiled back.

And they started at the old lady... Though old was a bit of an unfair assessment. She was probably only in her early 50s....

Old was a strange idea out here... Reaching a certain age, it gave you experience that made people gravitate towards you. For advice, for anything you could give.... But you had to be careful with old people. There seem to be two types in Chara's own experience. The kind that have experienced too much cruelty, done too much cruelty, to know anything else; like Kane. His old, grizzled and abused face just etched with cruelty.....

But there are the opposites too. The ones who have experienced too much to stay cruel... To keep forgetting what it's like to be a child out here because they're starting to feel the same way again and have to remember it... How it is like to be useless, worthless except for the knowledge they posses.....

The lady Frisk and Chara have narrowed their sights on... Her hair is greyed but her hazel eyes are clear. And she has her arms crossed when they enter but her face isn't too unkind. Just serious and no-nonsense. She seems to be somewhere in between cruel and kind Chara decides, but Chara figures that despite her own biases, most people are.

Her eyes are narrowed suspiciously seeing them, and that was another reason Chara had gravitated towards her. She's suspicious. If you're trying to manipulate people you act more open and caring. You have to be willing to take the risk you're going to be manipulated back.

There is also the fact that she wasn't looking to get people's attentions. She wasn't calling out with all that she had. She didn't seem to care enough. If you wanted something you would come to her and she could afford to wait. Another reason she wasn't going to manipulate them. She simply didn't feel like she needed to. And even if she wasn't going to be kind, she probably wasn't going to be intentionally cruel. Just business.

Because entering into the shop Chara makes several observations. She has an assortment of items and there is indeed canned food. But that begs a million different questions. For one, she doesn't have any pressure cookers. Makeshift or found or otherwise. Where had she gotten the jars? But Chara figured it wasn't important. What was important was the fresh fruit she had too. Pears and raspberries and to Chara's relief... No apples. But there was still the chance she already had a deal with someone to bring it in like they were planning to bargain with...

"Before you say anything." The woman began with her serious glare, "Please pay heed to the sign." The sign she was referring to was nailed to her makeshift counter. Chara didn't bother trying to read it, a task that was difficult but she could manage well enough to know what something was most of the time.. But this she didn't even need to try. The scribbled drawing of gold pieces were enough.

Money only, it would say.

"So if you want something you better have some gold. No trading." Chara hated stores like this. But she supposed this was a little bit different than trading..

"What about a business deal?" Chara asked. The woman raised a brow, eyeing them. Yes, Chara knew they didn't look like anything. But instead of wanting that to stay Chara sat up straight, her stance firm. "If we bring in apples for you to sell."

The older lady's face crinkled in displeasure and Chara immediately knew she already had someone. That or she just really didn't like children.

"I've got something for that already, so if you're not going to buy anything you should get your little grabby hands out of here."

So it was both, actually.

Chara lifted her hands defensively and began to turn around.

"Where do you get the jars?" Frisk asked though. Chara stopped. She'd thought the same thing but she figured that the answer would just be something like, none of your business.

"None of your business." Said the older lady.

"Well, she said she has someone for apples but if you look, she doesn't have any stock like.. apple sauce or whatelse you can do with apples." Frisk commented. Chara looked around. He seemed to be right but that wasn't the point.

"Let's just go somewhere else." But Chara had her doubts that they would be able to do much if someone else had already beaten them to other stores. But with as big as Perseverance was, they had to be able to find someone. And technically she supposed they could stay and sell the apples themselves. A few crates to sell to passersbys. But she really didn't want to. She wants to drop them off somewhere, get paid, get out. As little to do with here as possible. But still... Still. She had to keep her options opened... "Come on, Frisk."

Frisk sighed and began to obey. But the woman called out.

"Wait a second." She said quickly. The two kids stopped and looked back with hesitation. The woman's eyes narrowed even farther. "What's your name?"

"I'm Frisk."

"No, not you. I got that. You, girl, your name." Chara hesitated again, biting her bottom lip on the inside. "Come on now, spit it out." The woman stated bitterly.

"Chara." The woman leaned forward, her chin resting on her wrist. Chara's stomach flipped as the woman clearly thought about this.

"Kane's Chara?" The flame of anger and hatred at the question flooded through Chara as she stood taller again.

"Not anymore." Chara said sternly. "And never again."

The woman smiled. Actually smiled at that.

"Alright..." The woman began again, standing up more fully. "Tell you what, Chara. Frisk. If you're feeling a bit _brave_... I'll tell you were I get my jars."

Chara hesitated again though.... Sharing a glance with Frisk who was trying to keep a business-like, thoughtful expression to match hers.

"Come on now," The woman stated. "I mean after all, you can't spell Frisk without risk."

Frisk's eyes lit up despite his attempt to stay serious.

"You can't?" He asked excitedly.

Chara wouldn't know, she's never thought about it. She held Frisk's hand tighter.

"What kind of risk?"

"Well, like your boy there said. I don't have apple sauce or honestly anything that will last longer than a week or two. And I have someone for apples in the coming weeks but I'm afraid to say he isn't willing to take this risk. That leaves that option up to you.."

"What risk?" Chara said again.

"Well... Like I said, if your feeling _brave_... Do you know where Bravery is, Chara?"

Chara felt her face paling but she tried to hide it in a scowl and a snap.

"More like Stupidity."

The woman laughed.

"Oh trust me, I agree with you. I'm here and not there after all. Hiding an entire camp right beneath the Monster's own feet, that's just asking, no, more than asking for trouble. I wouldn't be caught dead there longer than I had to. Stupidity. But I'm still glad someone's stupid enough to do it for me and I think you'll be too."

Chara and Frisk jumped as two men entered the shop. And Chara stood tense as the woman cut her explanation off abruptly. Ignoring the two children completely as she offered them smiles that were drastically different than the glares she had given the two kids. And Chara and Frisk stood back, silent and not drawing attention. And as soon as the men were gone, and the woman was finished putting her coin away in her locked case, she turned her sharpened gaze back towards them.

"If you're willing to make your way towards Bravery." She said. As if nothing had interrupted her. And that's just the way it goes... "They have a whole system set up from out of there. Using the Monster's own vents for energy. I get most of my cans from there. Shipped down the river to Perseverance for me and others who take it even farther out. It's rather ingenious. But not everyone is willing to make the journey... If you decided to do it, all you would have to do is get the apples there and they will do all the rest. You would get paid up front for everything you bring and then it is out of your hair. Nice and simple and easy."

Except for the stated risk.

Easy.....

Too easy, it seemed.

And yet... Maybe... just enough worth it. One day to do it. Get the apples down the river, slipping into the city.

"Well its obviously up to you." The woman stated. "Find Mason and you just tell him Libbey sent you so I get first dibs."

Chara stared, thinking....

"Chara?" Frisk stated later, as the continued to walk through the camp. Having left Libbey and her store behind awhile ago and the sun starting to grow lower in the sky and more fires were being lit around them... As the kids kept making their way back and forth. Still asking around. Getting an idea of what they could get for just the apples themselves. In different places... A deal with the man by the three trees wrapped in yellow ribbon that sold shoes, someone else who would buy some apples but not a lot. And still the idea of just selling the apples themself...

But it was at the end of the day, and Chara was still thinking as she and Frisk made their way towards the edge of the city, farther and farther away from the wall and towards the forest-

"Chara?" Frisk had to say again and squeeze her hand to get her attention. She looked his way, still half in thought... Frisk was the one to hesitate this time. It didn't fit him. She didn't like it. Him hesitating with her.

"What is it?" She encouraged. Still, he looked hesitant. He looked down for a second but then back up.

"Everybody... knows you." Chara's stomach flipped again... because she couldn't deny it seemed to be that way too. Everyone today, the moment they learned her name, or..... What scared her the most was not the fact that the woman Libbey, and some of the others had known her. It was that they had also known Frisk.

Like Libbey... Libbey... She had known who Chara was... the moment she had heard 'Frisk'.

Chara stopped, the two kids in the tree line, and she glanced towards the far wall.

She hates this place.

She hates that she knows exactly why everyone seems to know her somehow. Or at least about her...

She'd thought time would help. But she supposes it isn't the worst thing. But she doesn't like it. Being memorable... Being at that instant disadvantage of everyone knowing more about her than she knows about them. She hates, hates it... And hates that now there is Frisk they know about too....

But no, she knows why everyone knows her though she is still surprised that memory lasts that long.

She knows.

Perseverance....

This place. Her own, earliest memories.

This _place_.

Where she learned big kids don't cry.... Where she learned to pay back everything you owe. Where she learned how to be invisible....

Though she never was. Because here, this place. If you want to get out you can't afford that luxury. To be complacent in what is happening around you. Can't afford to play it safer and not take risks. Because if you don't..... You don't get out. You don't- Trapped... Trapped here.

Perseverance.

 **Kane**.

Trapped here unless he tells you that you can leave. Because you owe him. That monster who takes advantage of children, taking them in. 'Raising' them. Claiming they owe. And he keeps you. At his side. Until you've made yourself unable to be ignored. Until he can't keep saying you haven't done enough. And he has to tell you.....

And it is so hard. Because that's the way it goes. How he has it set up. Because you have to stay and as you stay he keeps feeding you, keeps you clothed. Keeps you safer in his 'Haven' he has given you. And he offers you things. Magic, all those mages around town, their Souls sold... And he keeps you owing. And if you don't do enough to outweigh that....

You never get out. You never.... And you might as well sell your Soul.....

And the worst part is.

There are no chains. No chips or collars. And you stay. Because he makes you believe you can't do it all on your own. And most of you can't.... And there are no chains. No chips or collars. And you stay. You stay. Because you owe. You stay until he tells you that you can leave. You stay because if you don't. If you don't pay them, what you owe.... You lose an entire cap as a resource... And one can't be sure he wasn't above sending someone after you- His cruelty just that much....

And even if you do pay, do get out.. Escape his grip.

That's the other reason she won't deal with him if she doesn't have to....

Perseverance.

All it is, is Spite.

And he _is_ Perseverance.

And Chara, she had gotten away.

Her. And her Soul.

She'd gotten away.....

And she was pulling Frisk out into the trees, unable to explain all of this to him just yet, not here. Not in the shadow of the wall and the looming stone house they called 'Haven', where parents leave their children and let them become somebody else's soldier and slave.....

And Chara knows. She knew what the woman was thinking about her the moment she heard her name. About all the things she's heard because no matter how low Chara lays now, she can't undo it. All those things... About the child that got out of here as quick as she could. Paying back everything she owed and more for good measure just to be sure, risking her life over and over recklessly until she was done. Done. Sure to not be dragged back. The child who had taken so many risks because she had to... Refusing to grow up here...

Perseverance.

..... Where she learned everything that had once served to keep her alive, before she gotten out, before she had met Frisk, before things had slowly grown different even if some things still stayed the same...

Risk. Still, sometimes, it was worth taking the risk.

And this risk offered to her.... A day trip into Bravery.... It's stupid. But at the same time.....

But for the moment, she is squeezing Frisk's hand again. Running almost through the trees to get away from the camp. To get out again, out of its shadow, to breath easier. To get a weight off of her chest. And Frisk is there, squeezing her hand back.

And she's free, she's free.... She's free...

Even if the universe still hates her. Even if the universe isn't fair.

And The Temmie is there by the river side, tilting his head as they appear, but she can tell. The moment he sees him. He's relieved....

For someone who doesn't care, he looks so incredibly relieved.. to see them... To know they're 'safe'..... And she can't help but feel relieved at the sight of him too..

But she knows that is going to change the moment she tells him the idea. The risk she thinks she's willing to take...

And The Temmie nearly hisses. Or rather, Chara supposed he does hiss and his fur bristles, but it is caught up in the sound of his voice, as he takes in what they have just told him.

"Bravery?" The Temmie demands loudly. And to be fair he had every right to demand it. Especially as it became apparent that he knew exactly what they were talking about, despite being a Monster- But if one was out here long enough like he has seemed to be... But yes, he had every right to demand it.

It was stupid, she knew. And at the same time... The risk..

But despite her own apprehension at the risk, too. There is the tense, fierce, she thinks maybe even protective stance The Temmie has at the idea, and Chara can't help but smile lightly to herself as she watched Frisk step in with eager energy...

"I think it's worth it, too." Frisk told him. "Chara's right. It's not really anymore risky than anywhere else if you really think about it. We could bring them into Perseverance and still lose everything. We might as well."

But Chara knows that part of the reason he is sold on the idea is the fact that he has that curiosity that she dreads... He's curious. Always curious. Putting his hand in fire-

"Aw come on, Tem." Frisk said, leaning forward. "It won't be the first time we've been into the tunnels or the city."

But he is still curious. Because he has seen the tunnels and the city at night, on the few times Chara has conceded to do an errand that required it to get something pricey that they would need. And for as much as Chara feared... his own eyes.. shining just as brightly as the street lights.

So he has seen some of it.

But Bravery... Chara's been there.. maybe two or three times, not really because she had wanted to. It was in a life gone by (as much as a ten year old can say she's had a former life but its true). Either way, she knows Bravery. At least well enough to know the way comfortably enough. But Frisk, she's never taken Frisk. For Frisk all of this is new.. And the prospect of it all. And that dreaded curiosity, though it is part of the light inside her-

"And you gotta know, you can't spell Frisk without risk!"

The smile on Chara's face brightened the slightest bit. That was never going to be let go now, Chara knew. And also dreaded, but at the same time she bit down another smile at The Temmie's groan.

"Who..." The Temmie started, but decided that it didn't matter who had let the cat out of the bag... And he grumbled. "Yeah well, you can't spell Frisk without risk but you sure as hell can spell it without stupidity and get along just fine!"

Chara's smile was fading a bit...

Yes. It is stupid... But...

Perseverance isn't far enough behind them still. The tug of that pulling thread in the center of her chest, wanting to drag her back. The feel of it wasn't faded enough yet. And that made the idea of Bravery that much stronger.. But she knew the irony of this decision. Her wanting to go to Bravery exactly because of her fear..

"We don't have to do it, if you don't want to, but..." Chara began... but...

The Temmie turned it's black gaze towards her again. And all he had to do was say no. She had left the final decision up to him. Because he is the other person who knows the way and knows what they are going to be getting into if they choose this, and he.. he deserved a say, she supposed. More than supposed. Tem- The Temmie deserved a say. He's done the most work so far regarding the apples so far, if they are honest. Putting that soft wave of protective green magic over it even though it wore him out so much... What have Frisk and Chara done so far but eye them?

And yet The Temmie sighed and Chara knew right away he was relenting...

"If that's what you think, fine. Who am I to say no?" He said, apparently having the opposite mentality Chara was having. And even as Chara opened her mouth again, to at least try her reasoning, but he didn't seem to be having it, only picking up the pace. "Let's just hurry up and get somewhere comfortable so we can settle down and eat!"

Chara couldn't help but note just how hungry she was too... And how much she didn't want to talk about all of it either... Still not sure how all of this worked. What it meant with the three of them together and just how this worked... How she is supposed to deal with it fully, and deal with him... other than the fact that she wants to. Though, she won't consciously think about it any farther than that...

And instead Chara continued to think ahead in their journey.. In their plans... In the risk she is willing to take with the apples and with Bravery and all the little things they need to take care of... Even as she won't take the risk, not brave enough, still, to think about how much she actually cares and really, really was glad and relieved to see The Temmie, to find him waiting there by the river and their bags. Waiting... and just as relieved to see them too...

But Chara knows, how to deal with people like Kane, with that spirit of spite, with people even though she doesn't want to, hates to. She knows how to deal with all of that. But she doesn't know how to deal with him and he with her, or him with Frisk.

Frisk...

Who despite it all.. All the anxiety Chara felt about everything and how it may all just fall through on them anyways, she can tell that he is still excited. Even as he doesn't say anything, Chara can tell, he's excited... Excited to finally see Bravery. But Chara hopes he doesn't find himself disappointed though she somehow suspects that even seeing the reality of it, he still won't be...

He'll find it astonishing.

So, so, so astonishing.

Even though at its heart in Chara's mind, Bravery is just a bunch of washed out water and a dozen handfuls of stupid people in the darkness. Stupid. So, stupid at its core... Stupid... Just inviting trouble and stupid-

And The Temmie sighed as they settled down to eat though he was still not completely settled to the idea and the risk, but even so-

"If we're going to be going to Bravery, though- We should probably take a side trip there back to camp. Save us a more difficult trip if it's been wiped off the map." Chara stared vacantly and didn't respond, unable to refute the grim reality. In the corner of her eye she can catch Frisk lowering his head, digging his the front of his shoe into the ground, his lips pressed but his eyes hidden in his hair... But that's just the way it goes-

"If it was ever on any map to begin with," Chara notes grimly, even as she tries to make it light. And The Temmie laughed a bit at that.

But that was the risk she was willing to take-

With all three of them together... It couldn't be _so_ bad. 3 bad, 3 good things...

But it was her mistake to think the universe was fair... That it wasn't just as spiteful as Kane.

And not to think about how.. it can't give you something good... only to take it away.

The Temmie was draped over Frisk's shoulder as they walked parallel to the river, their aim the dumps though they would have to wait for morning to risk going inside as the sun drooped low... And The Temmie stayed draped over Frisk's shoulder, curled up close against his neck, and the three of them made their way to find a safer place to settle down to sleep.

And Chara reaffirmed to herself that it was all worth the risk every once in awhile....

_But stupid, stupid, stupid- just inviting trouble-_

She'd known better..........

 


	64. Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......

Papyrus had known better than to cry, there was no stopping it. He can't remember the last time he's just... cried. Cried and cried. He'd watched Chara cry and had wondered but now he remembered so clearly how it goes. When one just cannot stop crying. But unlike Chara, he does not feel better for it in the slightest....

But he has to pull himself together. And he does surprisingly well once he sets his mind to it. Chiding himself for crying in the first place, because its a sign of weakness, though he is alone and usually that's all right- but he hadn't deserved to cry.

At the very least he hadn't put that on Chara. At least he'd held himself together enough so she hadn't had to deal with it.

But he really had found that once he had started he hadn't been able to stop and that was just not allowed. So he forced himself.

Choke it down, suck it up. Pick up the cookie trays, clean them, clean the floor, hide all evidence- Wonder where the cat was again- Pick it all up and do the rest of the dishes too... And fret and worry, dread the ticking of the clock on the wall. Dread figuring out what he was going to do with the tray that was bent along the middle beyond repair. How he was going to hide it-

He hid it under the sink to deal with later- Anywhere else would require cutting through the living room where Chara rested...

Where Chara rested.....

That only brought his thoughts back to trying to plan what to do with her, with Sans, Undyne, even Alphys he supposed.... What he was going to do. What.... How....

To save.

And the more he thinks the more he realizes that he is in way over his head and that the only thing he specifically can do without help is talk to them-

That is just going to get her killed. He's just going to get her killed.

But he has nowhere else to go, none to talk to, and he desperately hopes that when Chara is ready to talk it over she can offer him something, anything... Please he just does not know what else to do that is not just going to get her killed-

He is an Actual Royal Guardsman, saving humans was literally the opposite of his expertise. Everyone he knows has put themselves to the very opposite goal to that.

He's the only one in his closest circle who has not already killed a human-

Though he's now tortured, raped-

All the things they had done to her because they had told themselves she had deserved them, inherently for being human and a thing of hate, even more so for having LOVE-

It was wrong. She hadn't deserved it, not just human but a person and he did not want her to die and she just did not deserve it...

And that is why he has to save her. Has to save her.

But he doesn't know what to do... Where to go.. How to even get her away from here..

But...

He is doing the dishes, his mind static, as he is looking out the window- The mountain in the distance... Papyrus is frozen as he thinks it: They don't have to get the chip out, Fight.... If they just... If they can get just enough of a head start and play it right-! Slipping her across The Barrier....

But she had said, told him too, she didn't trust it, the mountain, but Papyrus did not know what else to do....

But as he is thinking it, too.... There is the sun in the sky beside it and his magic ran cold...

He won't bring up the mountain.... Only if they can't think of anything else, it can be a last resort... Or if she brings it up herself.... But he won't mention it. He won't... He won't pressure her to go from one prison to another... Trapped but alive... Never to see the sun. He won't put her in the darkness again.... Not if he can give her something better...

Even if he gets that, it still isn't that much better out there in the valley, being scared and hunted...

But at the very least, free.... Free and out of here...

His brother is going to hurt her, kill her.... Sans...

Papyrus let his head drop...

Sans.

Even if he talked to Sans. What would he say? How could he.... How could Papyrus just tell his brother that everything they've worked towards. The Guard, the LOVE that gave his brother strength and protected him more securely than Papyrus' constant observation and healing magic ever could? LOVE that gave him HP, greater DEFENSE. Stronger ATTACKs.... Everything that Sans was finally getting back. His dream of just being normal... Sans has already so closely linked Chara and the two together. Chara is so intertwined in that dream...

She hadn't been at the start. But that hatred and desire to rip her apart. That Papyrus has seen and felt in his very Soul as it echoed Sans'. That restless hate... Wanting to kill her. Genuinely wanting to kill her...

And eventually, Sans will be home... Sans will come home and Sans will hurt her again, and Papyrus doesn't know what to do... How to talk, how to stop him, and even if he doesn't step in how is he could to just stand there? Last night he had come home to find Chara laying limping in her closet, silent, bruised and beaten... Just finding her like that had felt... But to be there. Actually be there while it happened. Even if he didn't step in, how could he hide it? How can he hide how he truly feels.

Papyrus can feel the tears building again, the thought choking him.... But he is not allowed to cry.

Papyrus was draining the water in the sink, drying off his bony hands as his magic twisted...

They can't waste any more time on this, they have to talk, she had needed a moment but that moment is past, they have to talk...

Sans will come home and they have to make decisions because Papyrus can't trust his own train of thought. He's never been able to trust himself and even now.....

He needs someone to tell him what to do. He needs Chara to tell him how to save her. He thinks there is probably some irony in that. That she was technically powerless wasn't she? In this situation? She's the one with the collar, the one supposed to be forced to take orders and there he was setting down the towel and forcing down tears feeling lost and needing someone to tell him what to do and how to act.

He just can't do it himself. He's made so many decisions today and been uncertain at every one the entire time but now he has made one concrete decision to get her out of here- somehow, someway- but now even if he is certain in his decision he is completely uncertain as to how to do it.

She has to tell him what to do-

But he hesitates on the threshold of the doorway. He has to stop and take a large breath, to steady himself. Because he can't be frantic. He has to be calm. He cannot be frantic...

But hesitating also lets the dread settle where his stomach would be. Because all of this... He's going against everything. Absolutely everything... Before with the tub and the healing water, that had been built on emotion. On the strength, the certainty, that he had to save her. But now he had time to think about it all in detail, all the things he had avoided to think about in detail when he hadn't been certain about Chara. All the things that had made it easier to stay uncertain about Chara because he knew he did not want to deal with them. But there was no more time for that, none whatsoever. None....

But he won't Fight, not really Fight. He's going against everything but the thought of an actual Fight...

It's still his brother, still....

Sans....

Papyrus forced another large breath and steps into the living room-

Immediately he has to stop again though. At the wall of contrast he encounters as he focuses on her. Because he, though he is trying not to be, is frantic. And Chara....

She was still curled up on the couch, her back now turned to the rest of the living room. Curled up on the couch, hugging the pillow with the blanket over her and he can hear her breathing from across the room as she continued to sleep. Really sleep... As deep as he has ever felt other than when she had been knocked unconscious, or drugged out of her mind..

Her Soul feels almost relaxed.... Not fully, but at the same time... He knows for certain that he's never seen, felt her... so.... There is a certain line of tension. Still tension for sure, but for the first time.... Maybe it would be called.... Maybe it is hope.

It's like that relief all over again. Her crying in relief at him wanting to save her.

And now hope for the first time in her Soul because there is an actual chance....

Papyrus... He's so worried and frantic about how to get her out of here. And she hasn't been able to think she can get out of here this entire time. The thought of her getting out of here... She may have said it to herself. Something to keep up the Fight. Keep going. But it hadn't been real. For the first time its real....

Papyrus' shoulders fell.

He's been so worried because there is still a very real, too real chance, perhaps more than a chance, it is still the most likely scenario- But Papyrus has been so worried... That she will still die. He's frantic because she may still die.

But to her.....

She might actually live.

He's terrified she may still die, and she's realized that she may very well live.

Her Soul... it is not so much calm, perhaps. Because there is a tight sensation around her. A tight, squeezing sensation. Like longing.... twinged with fear. But at the same time hope.

And the hope makes all the difference...

But it only terrifies Papyrus even more...

She's sleeping, dead asleep though he hates the thought and pushes the phrase away... But she is sleeping, calmed down even if it isn't a true calm.

But true or not it won't last, it can't last, Papyrus has to wake her. He has to. He doesn't know when Sans is going to be coming home, and there is so much they have to decide, she has to decide... He has to...

Sans is going to come home...

Papyrus has to know what it is he is going to do...

But getting close to her....

She's just... curled up on the couch, dead asleep.... Her breathing deep and loud... And her Soul....

But he has to wake her. He has to... The moment is over.. They have to deal with this... They have to...

"Chara..." Papyrus tried softly. She didn't budge, of course. "Chara."

And the sight of her... The sight of her just laying there, breathing but unresponsive, her just laying there without any hint of conscious fear...

The tense feeling in his ribcage is painful...

"I'm sorry." He whispered though he knows she can't hear him. Because he can't let her stay like this. They have to go back.. Because the Fight isn't over, it isn't over, she deserves to be able to just lay there and keep resting, to just have it be over, but he can't let her... And he is so sorry about that and he does not know what to do and that is why he has to wake her up....

But standing there with her curled up on the couch, small and vulnerable, she even looks like a child in that instance. And there is an intense, protective spark in his Soul and it hurts knowing he's half the people she needs protecting against, him and the people he loves, and he... It only makes him want to cry again...

But he has to get on with it, they can't afford to just relax.. Rest as she had said..

The Fight is not _done_.

"Chara..." Papyrus knelt down beside the couch. He wants to touch her arm, to run his fingers through her hair and pull her gently awake. But he knows, he can't touch her. It will be the exact opposite of helpful... And it makes him at such a loss. Everything he thinks of as comfort, like healing, is so wrapped up in touch. The fact that he has ruined it just like he has ruined his magic.... "Chara..."

She hummed vaguely but he can feel her slip back entire into unconsciousness, not comprehending.. Still relaxed... Still feeling a million times better than he has ever felt from her before and it twists painfully inside him that it can't last- And the fact that she can feel like this at all- The fact that she doesn't always have to feel so tense even if she remains always scared... The fact that she can feel....

"Chara..."

And he can feel the exact moment she becomes partially aware- Flinching, fear, an intense wave of it through her as her muscles tense at the potential danger. The contrast is so intense, so immediate- He's not touching her but he still feels like he has been burned. He still lifts his hands up defensively, apologetically.

"Sorry." He breathed, apologizing for just existing, for having to wake her. "Sorry, sorry- I just..." Her red eyes were darting around and Papyrus cringed. "I'm not going to hurt you." He reminded softly. "I'm not here to hurt you..." The red eyes were on him and she swallowed, her breathing working itself back down.

Her memory is still blurred for a moment, collecting itself together- All that strikes is the sight of him and she feels terrified- But he looked so devastated and the apologies still spilling out of him and slowly the panic was easing out of her, as she remembered, as she began to force herself to relax....

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I shouldn't have.. Sorry.."

Chara's breathing was calming down again though she cannot fully relax. But calming... Remembering..

Spared.

He's Spared.

Papyrus Spared her, he's on her side.... He's...

She might just make it out of here alive.

The world felt so disoriented but somehow lighter... The feeling of not being alone for the first time in months even if it is from someone she had never expected or even wanted to some extent...

Chara swallowed, her throat incredibly dry and her head killing her. She flinched, lifting a hand to her head as she squinted.

"Oh!" Papyrus said, as if almost excited... Or perhaps just relieved... At having something he could help with.

He got up and she flinched again but he was disappearing back into the kitchen only to come back with a glass of water.. The eagerness to do something right for her is obvious and it makes her head spin a bit, the world still spinning... As she forced herself to sit up and awkwardly take the glass.. Awkwardly taking sips as Papyrus crouched by the couch, looking down at the floor...

"I'm sorry." He said again. "You were sleeping so well but I'm sorry I had to wake you, we have to talk about it... Before.... Sans."

Sans...

There was a wave of fear again, he can see it in her eyes..

But she looked down and forced another sip.

"I just... don't know what to do.." Papyrus said again. "Who to go to for help."

Chara swallowed.. She has to speak, she knows she has to... He's right they've got to talk this through.... She closed her eyes and took a breath.

He's right... About talking and also about...

"You're right." She told him weakly. "You're right about the chip."

Papyrus's shoulders fell, her confirmation doesn't help any.

"I'd just bleed and we'd need somewhere to hide me because I just... can't run right away... Even not just with the chip." She admitted. "But with everything, I'm always tired... I... I wouldn't make it alone..."

There'd be no point alone.....

Papyrus faltered at that, having planned on asking if she had any idea where they could hide her if they did get this done, but with that new piece of information....

"I really won't make it on my own..." She breathed.

Sometimes she can barely do it with other people there for her, when she _wasn't_ alone....

But.... to get out....

No matter how much she wanted to go home, she had to face what she had done. That it might all be gone anyways.... She wouldn't make it-

"But at least you'll have a chance compared to here." Papyrus told her, desperate to keep her motivated.

But how can she get it across to him? That surviving isn't really the point...

What's the point of surviving if there is still no way to go home..........?

But he still has a point.... Out there..... She still has a better chance of it then compared to here.

And even if it can't go back to the way it was...

She still.. She still owed it to try.... Even if she can't apologize like she wants to, she still....

She....

_But she had told him; Frisk or him, she'd chose- She'd told him- Him or her..._

"If you stay here you'll die..." Papyrus continued. "They're going to kill you. I can try to talk to Sans-"

"You will **not**." Chara said sharply, it genuinely surprises Papyrus. Chara can see this and she gets it... His brother.... Her shoulders fall but she cannot retract that even as she lowers her gaze. "When I... The bullet board. When you ran away, I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what you would do. If I was dead or alive. I was completely at your Mercy with what you would do, and I couldn't breathe. I don't.... If you try talking to Sans, you only have one chance. He either listens to you or he doesn't... And maybe he would eventually listen, but...."

"... He may kill you before he calms down enough to." Papyrus admited. He looked down too. At his hands. "... Before, I could probably get him to listen before he did something rash, but lately... there's... there's something restless about him... and he really hates you. I don't hate you but he does. Really, really _hates_ you."

Chara knows, she knows very well how much Sans hates her. The bomb that he is.

"How much... How much LOVE does he have?" She asks finally, because she can't Check him so easily with the collar on and before she felt like the question would only invite trouble. The moment she says it, though, she can tell by the way Papyrus lowers his head even farther that he knows why she's asking, too.

"He has 3. LV 3..."

Chara bit the inside of her lip.....

"I kn- know... I know that's what the problem is..." Papyrus told her. "I've been thinking about it all day. About my magic and his... I can't heal like I used to and its because I've been hurting you, I've been changing myself. And so is Sans.... And that worst part is... That was the idea. It's what we've been.. we've been building up to all this time."

Papyrus sighed.

"The LOVE was supposed to make him stronger, increase his HP. Everything we did was to get us to it. A house, security. Being a Guard and gaining LOVE were all a part of that."

Chara frowned, anger in her chest, but she can't deny that LOVE's strength and added defense were good things in theory if it weren't for the things you had to do to get it. At how it warped you. She was guilty of that herself though she would have never done any of the things they had done to her. It was all an excuse she didn't want to hear. She doesn't care about the why, she only cares about the how of them getting out of here. Sans' LOVE is a reality she has to deal with and she doesn't **care** why. Not the dream, or their supposedly difficult life, none-

"I wasn't supposed to worry anymore once he got LOVE but now I'm more worried than I ever was before when he just had the 1 HP."

Chara froze...

"What?" She breathed.... Chara lifted her head, staring directly at Papyrus with wide red eyes. She hadn't.... She had known he had low HP. She figured it with them having those tablets. She figured it with how he had blasted them and she had used him as a shield and she could feel that his HP was getting lower than hers. But she had in the end attributed that to his magic. That poisonous magic that had drained her HP faster. She's decided- He was more directly hit, his HP was dropping- But he was bigger than her. Stronger than her, physically. His natural base HP should have been- Maybe lower than it should have been with the tablets, but a natural base- 1 HP..... One. "How'd he...?"

She shook her head. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! She doesn't even care!

But how.... How had that happened? But also.....

She thought of Temmie. That weak 5 HP- Single hit dust-

"It's a..... We don't remember how it happened really." Papyrus told her though.

Chara eyed him, her red eyes narrowing as she felt the lie. Because he can't look at her. He can't look at her usually but there is a rushed, nervous feeling to the way he says it added onto it.

"We don't remember how it happened but it did." Papyrus said again. "And now he finally has the LOVE he wanted for so long and it's changing him and me too. We're so... So closely linked.... And that should make talking to him and talking him down easier but he... He'll get angry and blame you.. Anything I say to him will just be pinned on you putting things into my head... He'll kill you... I would have to Fight him and I won't. I _can't_ Fight him..."

Chara's suspiscious stare falls at that. He's said it before. But finally she thought... It wasn't just because they were brothers, was it? It was wrapped up in the 1 HP.... Maybe even the lie he just told....

"I'm.... I'm sorry, it's still the one thing I won't do, I can't Fight him.. Even if I planned on it, I would freeze up. I cannot Fight him.."

Chara glanced down to the floor again, biting harder... She supposes that.. she had decided. One thing she won't take from them...

Even if Sans hates her and she hates Sans... And she still very much hates Papyrus.... But he looks absolutely miserable.....

She doesn't want him to talk to Sans anyways... There is just too much out of her control in that scenario. And he would have to Fight if she was going to live through......

But she can see Frisk in her mind, his arms stretched out wide as he stood between her and Temmie.

She pauses at that. But.....

But if Sans won't listen... If Sans lashes out, even for a moment.

Chara had almost not listen. It had taken her shoving Frisk, standing over him and wanting to hurt him for getting in her way.... And she hadn't even hated Temmie specifically like Sans hated her...

And if Sans doesn't listen for a moment, lashes out. It won't just be a shove. Not with that hatred. With the magic in the air-

Papyrus tightened his fists, tears in his eye sockets he refused to let fall.

"I don't know how to Save you and my brother at the same time..."

Chara's not sure he can.....

But she doesn't say anything. Not even her concerns. If she said, Sans would probably hurt him too, he would just deny it. Reject the idea. His brother hurting him.

And if she would want to make her point. There was a card she would have to give up, and she only has two.

"But I can't just stand there and let him hurt you..." Papyrus told her. "I can't just leave you alone to let him... let him..."

Chara was gripping the glass in her hands tightly though the water was gone... But if she wasn't gripping this she would just be gripping at her own wrist.

"You won't do anything to get me in trouble." She whispered.

"But you already are-"

"More in trouble." She cut in... "You can only talk to him once... And it is my life in jeopardy when you do..." But his face when she says it. So hurt and not wanting to accept it. And she can't look at it. At him. But her resolve is strengthening. "Besides..... It's not just Sans or the LOVE. Even if we did get through to him, it's not just him. There's... There's.... her. Und..." She can't say it outloud again. It's too much and the fear is in her chest. "So... So you talking to Sans is the last resort. Because there is only one shot and even if it works it might all be for nothing."

"But-"

"If I want you to do it... I'll call for help. If we are really going to do this. You to help me..." She stopped herself from saying please. He does not get that word anymore than he has to. "If I slip and beg. Or I call for help... Then we. You try..."

"But I can't just stand-"

"You did all the times before." Chara snapped, lifting her head and red eyes blazing. And that isn't even half of it. Not just stand there, but held her down. Held her down. Went along with it himself... But she doesn't say it outloud because she isn't sure how much she should push him. Not sure how to deal with him still and how this works.

But he caves. Looks down.

"But that's why I want to stop it now." He whispered. He wanted to make it right. The anger doesn't go completely away from Chara's chest but her lips press together and she decides that..... maybe that matters. She's not sure but she thinks....

He really does mean this, she reminds herself... He's meant it all day even when he was trying not to. When he was trying to convince himself to hate her still, his kindness he has meant.... His questions, him trying to understand. Chara set down the glass that she has been holding against the stand beside the couch and she shifts in her position, and she smooths over the pillow in her lap as she tries to recollect herself...

"Just tell me what to do...." Papyrus whispered again and Chara froze again. Her breath-

He looks lost.

And that did beg the question....

Which way do we go now?

"And you're right.." Papyrus began. "There's also Undyne. Alphys."

"Alphys-" Chara began but she bit down, cutting it off. Papyrus lifted his head.

"What?"

Chara gripped at the pillowcase.

"Nevermind..."

"Chara..." Chara grit her teeth and gripped even tighter at the pillow at the sound of her name but she keeps it from becoming an all out snarl. "If it's something that'll help, please... Chara shook her head.

"We can't trust her. Forget it."

Papyrus faltered.

"Wait, what do you mean?" He asked. The thought that he could trust her about this hadn't even crossed his mind and for Chara to even suggest it. To even think- She was the Actual Head of The Royal Guard... Even if she had never accepted the title of General out of seeming respect- But she-

"Alphys.... She sent me to the prison."

"What? I mean... Yeah. I meant... Why did you think that.. Back track a bit, what were you thinking before that."

"None of your business." Chara snapped again. But almost right away her shoulders fell. He is only trying to help.. but it doesn't feel like it. Opening a box of unwanted things- "She won't hurt me... At least... not herself. But she..."

Papyrus shook his head, confused-

"It's a long story and.." Complicated... And Chara isn't willing to tell it. "But she won't hurt me.. But she still.. sent me to the prison. I expected it, but... maybe a part of me..." Maybe a part of Chara had actually expected the opposite. Something at least... And she just- "S-She _actually_...."

There was just some strange sense of betrayal... It added the uncertainty. Of what had happened in the end. Uncertainty about everything. But even so, Alphys had also kept Chara's secret... Which was more than she had expected after it had fallen through like that... But maybe it wasn't keeping the secret for anyone but her own sake. She can't know. Chara just can't...

"Chara, I don't understand..." Papyrus admitted. He leaned in closer to the couch. "Wait, you said earlier that Alphys _wasn't_ the one to capture you. Then she wouldn't have been the one to make that decision- Where to send you." Chara was shaking her head.. Tears in her eyes and Papyrus reached out a hand. "Oh.. H-Hey..." He can't touch her though. Can't grab her knee like he wants to, to help comfort her..

"I didn't... She didn't capture me.." Chara lowered her eyes. "She didn't capture me..."

"Then... I still don't understand..."

Chara closed her eyes, her grip tight and knuckles white...

"Alphys didn't capture me... I..." Chara- "I turned myself in."

Papyrus felt... cold...

"What....?" He breathed, barely.

"Alphys didn't capture me, I turned myself in." Chara said, her shoulders lifting even higher, protectively. Papyrus couldn't... He couldn't... Could not wrap his skull around it, or even find the ability to breathe...

She turned herself...

" _Why_?" He finally managed. "What- Why?! I can't-! You knew!" He finally managed.

She knew- Chara-

"You had to have known how that would turn out!" Papyrus continued. "Prison! The lab even!"

She couldn't have known, coming here, but everything else-

"You know nothing good could come out of it- Chara...! I don't... _Why_?"

He was on the verge of crying again. Staring at the girl with her head completely fallen but her shoulders high and the pillow half hugged.

 _She'd had to-_ _Him or her.... Him or-_ _Stupid, stupid, stupid- Idiot- Betrayal- But she'd told him-_

And Papyrus so desperately wants an answer. Something to understand!

"Alphys..." Chara said though, her voice cracking and she's on the verge of tears. She... "We can't trust her. We just can't tr-trust...." Chara pressed her lips together tightly and she just...

Papyrus stared... Just stared, the tears still threatening in himself as he just cannot comprehend this person in front of him...

But that grief he has felt. That guilt....

"Chara..."

But she won't look at him. She won't lift her head as she continues to try not to cry.

"Chara... Look at me..."

But she won't. She won't- But this is important. Really important. And slowly...

Slowly, Papyrus sat up on his knees, angling himself so he was facing her and the couch, his hands curled losely as they rested against it at either side of her. Chara pulled back, flinching even as she kept her face down. Her entire body tense as she breathed in sharp-

"Chara... Whatever happened. You still didn't deserve this." Chara was finally lifting her face, just barely. Her red eyes daring to look up at him through her hanging, threatening tears. "You don't have to tell me, but you have to understand. You. did not. deserve this."

But he can see how the tears get closer to falling. Because he can't know. He can't know what she did.

Because she turned herself in. She turned herself in... She turned herself in and she betrayed her best friend to do it. But she had told him. She'd said it. Frisk or him. She'd said it so many times but she hadn't expected it to matter after a certain point. But she'd said it. She'd said it but she still feels guilty. And she still owes-

Papyrus can't understand that, but he can see the way she chokes for another moment and struggles to breath. Papyrus lifted his hands immediately at the sight of it- to wipe them away. But Chara tensed even more, freezing but very clearly wanting to pull back- and yet frozen. That reaction only makes Papyrus freeze as well- Not daring to actually touch her. He forced himself to curl his fingers inward and pull them away towards his chest.

He doesn't touch her. Can't touch her. He mocked her when he should have comforted her earlier. And he- But he says it as earnestly as he can with a slight shake of his head. Keeping her gaze no matter how much he wants to look away.

"You didn't deserve this.."

He said it before and he meant it.

She didn't deserve it.

Whatever she did

He took so long to accept it but now he wouldn't budge.

She didn't....

Papyrus finally lowered his gaze, sinking back down fully to the floor. Kneeling in front of her and his head down....

Chara stayed frozen in her stop, staring down at him, still struggling to breathe from how close he had been.... And the few cards she has in her hands.... And Papyrus...

"Okay... So we can't trust Alphys." Papyrus said gently, even with his head down- He brought it back around to their converstation from before. Though he can still feel how much pain she is in and can hear her struggle not to keep crying and it made his own ribcage hurt- That's the problem with allowing yourself to finally care about someone. Why he struggled oh so much Not to. Why Undyne had been so adamant in everything. There's no going back. Once you care. One you can see... "Okay..."

Alphys was off of the table apparently... Though he would have never considered her on it so it didn't feel like much of a loss to him as it did to her...

"Okay.." Papyrus repeated. "No Alphys. No.. No Sans....No..... No Undyne....."

Most definitely no Undyne.

There is no way Undyne would Spare her.

Never in a million years.

Doing what she had to-

But it's wrong.

And that is the only thing Papyrus is certain of.

Chara didn't deserve it.

And that means the people he loves and trusted so thoroughly are wrong.. And he's alone except for...

"So we're back to the same question...." Papyrus stated. "What do we do?"

There is a tense, tight feeling in her stomach as she stares at the top of his skull.. And the tightness in her throat.. The pain in her chest. But she has to... She.... She's an idiot if she doesn't, she's-

"Papyrus...." Chara breathed... and he looked up at her so hopefully, that she could have answers for him... And she... She just... Still owes... She still owes... To survive. To get out, she still owes.... Even if there is no home in the end, she still has to try and there is.. She has to.. But....

It takes everything inside her. All her determination. Every bit... Every bit of it to start speaking again, to push through the guilt and the knowing.

"Papyrus.." She tried, her voice cracking.. "............ There's someone I need you to find."

And Papyrus watched her so hopefully, hopeful that she could give him... give him anything... And Chara's head fell farther. She can't risk- Her heart, she can't- But she's an idiot. Stupid, if she doesn't at least.....

"Who...?" Papyrus encouraged and she hates that. Hates it, how genuine.... And Chara held onto her forearm and squeezed tightly as she kept her head lowered in shame-

Who....?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .........


	65. Stupidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE IMPORTANT BLAGH  
> -So the first section of this is what you already saw last time.  
> So. I may have been like, blah. With the pacing and rearranged the last three chapters. Which used to be four chapters. It's obviously not anymore. Aaah. But pacing wise it just had to be better and idk what I'm doing but this is good. better. yes. Good.  
> The only thing that got change before this- Okay, I rewrote Chara and Papyrus talking a bit. So the chapter before this. That. Yeah. Yes.  
> I'd say fire me but I'm doing this for free. O.O  
> 

_The Temmie and Frisk_ and Chara repacked their things and readied themselves for the dump- The plan was to spend half the day scavenging, eat more of the leftovers or perhaps what they could find in the dumps. Then the second half would spent traveling to Bravery, finding this Mason guy to talk things over with, to varify what they had been told. And then they would leave, camp out by the river again before making their way back to their own, real camp and the apple trees.... Maybe catching The River Person on the way...

That was the plan, and Chara felt anxious even if admittedly... hopeful. It was, admittedly, in fact, nice to have a plan for once, Chara noted. A plan that seemed like it would work out just fine.

The trip through the dumps were uneventful. There are signs of other people but overall, nothing. No true encounters. Only passing shadows as the two kids and The Temmie huddled together and hid to let them pass. But other than that, uneventful. And the findings.. they're decent enough to make Chara breathe even easier.

Not all trips into the dumps could be winners, or even worth the stress. And maybe there had been no golden find this time. Not even a bit of chocolate even, at the very least Chara could say it had been worth it. More food that would keep for as long as they needed- And they had found an entire bag of worn out clothing that they could chose their pickings from. And to Chara's relief a lot of it was warm- Frisk had found a thick, blue and purple stripped sweater that he had wrapped around his waist to carry it- The sun was rising higher and higher in the sky and it was too warm for it now, but time would prove it well enough. Maybe the sewers would too. It got so cold and wet in that dark series of tunnels.

Other than the clothes, to Chara's relief they also find another book bag, that is almost worn through but could be enough for what they need. There was also something The Temmie tells her is called a tote, but the fact of the matter is. They can help her carry things. Like apples.

These with the two bags that they already had, one with them and the other back at camp- and not to forget the tarp that they kept over their mattress to protect against the weather. These together could be exactly what they needed. As long as they had The River Person's help like had been promised and as long as the trip into the tunnels went well enough and easy enough.

It was the trip into the tunnels that had Chara most on edge.... And the anxiety grows as they get closer to the wall. It makes Chara feel so, so incredibly small like the one at Perseverance. But unlike the one at Perseverance, it is solid stone and rises high into the sky. And there are no guards at each point, they are scattered about in watch towers. The Royal Guard looking out across the forest, waiting for something to come their way. Attacks that may or may not come.

There are ways to get past this wall at several points. Because The Monsters, so intent on polluting everything The Human's had perhaps, everything they had managed to hold onto- The Monsters had designed the thing to be linked to the sewer system. Or at least. There were several areas where large tunnels with grates over the entrance poured water waste out of the city.

Chara has decided that it is another trap, too. Anything that makes their lives easier to live has to be a trap. Designed 'flaws' to lure them in. Especially as only one of the tunnels is close to a tower. It has to be a trap. Intentional. Though she isn't sure why.

On top of it all, the main dump, where the large fires burn and send toxic smoke into the air- another thing Chara questions- why they don't just burn everything- The entire area, down. This is another bit of evidence, she decides, has to be, that all of it is just one big snare

But as it is, one can almost easily enter the city if you have the will to take the risk that comes with it. Chara knows there are even more ways to get into the city along the wall, especially if you loop around to the other side, past Compassion. But the entrances into the city Chara knows and trusts just a tad bit more than the others are the several worn down tunnels between where the two rivers- Compassion and Mercy- exit the city; the wall opening wide for it though heavily guarded and a magic strip of green magic across the water to protect it from, ironically, pollution, and other things.

But between that and the heavily guarded openings, are these tunnels. These tunnels that dump even more water out into the valley, at least when it rains. It can get up to your knees if you're an adult. Chara's had it, startlingly and she hates it, up to her waist. Other times there is hardly any water at all and all that is left is the cold smell.

It takes two hours walking from the dump to get to the second closest tunnel- The first one making Chara uneasy because of its closeness to the dumps to begin with. And also... this is the one she knows best how to get to Bravery with.. if she remembers rightly.

The tunnel is taller than her, she doesn't even have to crouch. Adults don't even have to crouch. Easy access- why bother building a wall to begin with other than to lie to the populace that they were safe and you were doing your best job- To be fair though, in theory. The tunnels have grates over them. They've just been... Cut through. And easily pulled off after so long.

This tunnel just has a large chunk pulled out of it and called a day. Like someone has blasted through it so long ago and The Monster just gave up on fixing it- That's why there are puzzles down here, Chara suspects. Though a lot of those are still deactivated, they have made it so some of them are required- they have to function. If you do the puzzle, it forms you a bridge. If you do the puzzle, it sets down spikes (but why give you an option to get rid of the spikes?)

Chara doesn't question it anymore in depth. She's made herself not care- But as the two kids slip into the darkness- the darkness that is only offset by the glowing mushrooms that one has to activate to see- As one gets deeper and deeper into the tunnels and the layout changes- Chara may have stopped questioning it in-depth, there was always Frisk. And for once, there was actually someone there to provide an answer. As the two kids worked at the puzzle switches on the wall to activate and lift the next grate.

"But why?" Frisk asked The Temmie who had taken up his place draped over Frisk's shoulder once again. "Why bother with the puzzles at all?"

It's pointless-

Other than to play with them.......

Because they don't do anything but slow you down. An inconvenience. Failing the puzzle doesn't even get you killed. It just resets and you have to try it again-

But The Temmie shrugged to Chara's surprise.

"It's tradition..." He stated simply. And he stared at the puzzle for a moment.

"What a pain." Chara grumbled.

"I actually..." The Temmie began to cut in but in the end cut himself off.

"What?" Frisk encouraged.

"I actually really like the puzzles." Chara raised a brow.

"Really?" Frisk asked for her. That seemed almost... out of character for him. Mr. Grump.

"I... yeah. Sometimes you just need something new. Or a challenge... It gets rather boring, you know." Chara kept her brow half raised in question to that.

"I think they're fun!" Frisk joined in to back him up. Defending The Temmie's stance from the tone of The Temmie's own doubt and Chara's gaze. But she can see, Frisk really does think they're fun. No surprise there. He always seems to enjoy himself down here. Chara supposed they could be fun. Though the only reason she can find herself tolerating them is because they make Frisk smile. But they are annoying. Having to do them each time because they just have to recalibrate themselves automatically the moment you've made it through- annoying.

And on top of it all... she's heard about, deeper into the city- Vents that send you flying and you have to use them if you want to get anywhere. She's heard about blue and orange lasers on enchanted, moving floors- She dread the thought of that- the floor beneath your feet being that unreliable and add lasers on top of it...

No thank you.

Really. She's good. She'll stick to the outer most tunnels and the abandoned subway rails that lead to Bravery-

Oh. That was the other thing about Bravery and the underground tunnels.

The abandoned, half finished subway system.

Chara assumes that is when most of the puzzles were designed and constructed. During construction.... To protect the subway system where the Guard could not. Maybe they were supposed to be deadly but hadn't been given the chance to be modified, the workers having been taken into account. The subway system-

The doomed subway system. Doomed by the constant human attacks back then. A hundred years ago? A hundred and fifty? Back when the militia groups had a stronger presence and there had seem more of a resolve to take things back. Back when people were still alive to remember the start of the war, she supposed. When the details weren't as fuzzy and forgotten.

But she supposes some of the puzzles were too new to have been from then...

She doesn't really care, and she doesn't ask... All that matters is that Bravery exists here...

Bravery isn't so much a single clustered camp. It's spread out within the tunnels. In the subway stations that never got to be subway stations. And each smaller camp holds the name of the street above it. This is Bravery. All of it is Bravery. But the main part is the one closest to the wall. It isn't an abandoned station like the others, the station closest to it was caved in and flooded half of the time. But it is hollowed out and filled with flickering, white light- light stolen from the surface. Electricity.

This is Bravery.

And she supposed that in a way...... it really is astonishing.

To have light all the way down here. To be able to stand there knowing that above your heads is an entire civilization that really, really wants to kill you. In a way, this too was Spite. Spite and Stupidity-

Astonishing and bizarre.......

As one slips out of the dark and into the flickering unreliable light- and yet there IS light- And your eyes are forced to close, to adjust. Bizarre..... As you stare at the humans gathered... The Humans.... and.. the very odd Monster.

Chara can remember the first time being brought here on an errand. The way her breath had been lost as a Monster toward over her but she had been held in place by the adult beside her- Her heart racing, hard to breathe- Her mind telling her all the things she had heard, knew.

But it had passed and the lesson learned. Some Monsters... only as dangerous as the most dangerous mage, as long as you had something to offer.

This is the only place besides The Ruins where something like this can happen.

Because if Perseverance was strict laws and you dare not disobey, Bravery was anything but. She didn't think there were rules here at all. The only thing keeping you civil was the fact that you did not want to lose a resource or connection.

Reiteration-

And also the fact that The Monsters aren't supposed to be down here either. Aren't paying for that electricity, either.

They are all here to help themselves. And The Monsters that came down here- either homeless and the dumpster divers, typically something to sell, exploit- And the humans allowing it because they needed something The Monsters were exploiting. It was a delicate balance- All of it able to explode in your face in a moment. But at the same time- That's just the way it goes. With any transaction.

Everyone here to use the other. To get the benefits of the surface as much as they can...

Frisk is growing excited at the light at the end of the tunnel in front of them, at the echoing sounds of commotion. Seems that Bravery hasn't been drowned out recently.... The boy picks up the pace-

"Alright calm down." The Temmie orders before Chara can. "And remember... I'm an idiot. Okay?" Frisk and Chara shared a glance but then nodded.

Idiot.

the idiot tem

The light is bright, though if you stay long enough you know that is only because your eyes aren't used to it. That it is actually rather dull. Like a grim, cloudy day. And... the area feels smaller and closed in than she remembers. That makes sense... She's bigger. But in contrast to how small Perseverance and the wall has made her, this feels so much more closed in. And there isn't enough space for the makeshift shanties that people have somehow found places- In dimming, flickering unreliable artificial light and the surrounding sound of water dripping from somewhere nearby....

Chara and Frisk huddle close as they walked along, The Temmie basically there between them from his place on Frisk's shoulder. And Chara is so, so thankful that he is there. That they aren't here alone- Because they have come here to ask around for one specific person...

Mason.

They are immediately directed his way by the first person they ask. A seemingly older lady who was probably down here because she had nothing left to lose- Half her teeth gone and her little space run down but a shopping cart from somewhere stuffed with items in bags to hide what they are and their potential value- But she points a wrinkled finger towards the far end.

"Gi mu-al an' tend by tunal." She says in a garbled voice and Chara doesn't understand her at first, but the finger is a good enough direction. And when they get closer, it becomes apparent what she meant. The tent by the tunnel. The tent in the middle of the poorly crafted spaces- The tent with the giant painting on the wall over looking the place.

"Oh hell." The Temmie breathed as Frisk froze and stared.

It would be impressive- If not for the subject matter. A large dark, but blurred figure.... It is clear who it is despite the unfinished feel of the painting. But his face is split in two, his face in clear pain as two hands press against his cheeks, as a stream of different colors bleed from him- And his own hands, several, seemed to tear at him, different colors in their open, carved palms, different colors bleeding-

There was laughter from somewhere beside them and the two children jumped as they directed their attention to the laugher-

"Enjoyin the finer things there, kiddos? The likeness is good, ain't it."

Chara's didn't want to look up at it. Didn't want to see anything of him- But the man's face wasn't so much better as the smile on it curved downwards a bit when he eyed The Temmie. That made Chara curl her hands into fists. Stare him down, daring him to comment as she and Frisk stood closer. Frisk's usually kind expression was hardened and gold eyes piercing.

The man shrugged and looked back up to the mural.

"That's my girl's work." And Chara wondered what that meant. Daughter? Lover? She couldn't tell by the tone. "She started basically the day after. I told her, she was crazy. And that a nasty piece of work like Gaster didn't deserve her work. But she said she wanted to leave a reminder of what can happen to even the strongest of them she said. Kind of a big Fuck You, to 'em, which is what I told her it should be called. But... She called it, All Things Must Die."

"... Called?" Frisk dared to ask.

"Well... All things must die.... But she outlived his ass, so... That's somethin' I guess."

Even if she didn't get to completely finish it.

There was a sad shadow across Frisk's face now that the apparent treat to Temmie was gone.. And Chara's lips pressed together for a moment, but they had a goal after all.

"We're looking for someone named Mason." She told him. The man smiled again.

"And what can I do for you?" He eyed them up and down again. "You're not the messenger I'm waiting for from Patience I take it." Not with a 'Monster' in tow.

"No... We were sent here from Perseverance. By Libbey."

"Ooooh. Okay. Tell me then, what can I get for ya? Or I guess this means you have something for me... Here. Let's go inside." He pushed back the flap of the tent and Frisk and Chara followed. Chara thankful to get out of the sight of the mural even if the tent didn't actually protect anything they meant to say. But at least the sound of water was stronger this way. She realized that the other tunnel must have been a water way- She didn't think that was there last time- It must have been something they had done themselves since then. Like the mural.

"Apples huh?" Mason asked, as he lit a cigarette. The tent wasn't much of living space and Chara suspected that he only did business here... That his actual, usual living space, was somewhere else. Somewhere safer. This was prime raid territory. She wouldn't keep her valuables here either.

"Will you take them?" Chara asked. The man shrugged.

"It's what I do." He told her. Frisk shook his head though.

"But what do you do with them?" He asked. Chara wondered too, with no clear evidence of a major production Libbey had suggested.

"You see, deeper in the city there are these vents The Monsters set up. A lot of pressure. Heheh, we use their own energy. It's the good stuff you know?"

Stupidity and Spite.

Chara is certain now. That is humanity.

"But you only have to bring the apples this far to get your pay. You say that tunnel right? We carved it out to get to the closest water way. It runs perpendicular to the vents and two of the other stations. And it is connected to the third outside tunnel. It's a straight shot."

"Wait." Chara faltered. "The third tunnel dead ends at a broken puzzle." Mason smiled as he pulled the cigarette out and let out a nasty breath. The Temmie sneezed-

"Achoo!" Both Chara and Frisk looked at him in horror at the adorable, exaggerated sound. But it passed as their attention was drawn to Mason who was standing up.

"Follow me." When they exited the tent, neither looked up at the grotesque, splitting face above them. Mason led them to the tunnel, clearly carved out with some sort of magic now that Chara was able to get a good look at it. It was definitely not here before. Four large men stood at the other end, armed. But in a moment it was clear why.

Chara and Frisk stopped short. The crates upon crates of food. Mason laughed again.

"And this is only the drop off point." He told them. "You bring it here. We take it to the vents to can- we got a guy on the surface who gives us the jars for a cut- and then it gets distributed through the rivers. Simple enough for you. One big cirlce, like a heart and veins." Chara wasn't sure what that.. meant entirely. But still- "And you don't even have to deal with the deranged Migospel that floats around back there in the sewers! Win, win for you, aint' it?"

"But the puzzle?" Chara tried again. Mason began to walk downwards, and the two kids and therefore The Temmie, followed once again. There the puzzle was.

"It's not completely broken, you can only open it from this side is the problem." Chara was beginning to realize that they had been the ones to break it.... And that made her chest tighten in anger. "You just gotta knock and one of the big guys will take a look at you through the port to see if you're supposed to be on the in." Mason looked back at them with a smile, his face illuminated by the glowing mushrooms all around..

She hated him but at the same time.... Breaking the puzzle to have control over this section wasn't actually that stupid. It also means The Monster couldn't get through without permission either... But the way he smiled at her, Chara can tell that he can tell she still hates him for it.

But he only shrugged.

"Hey. Just be happy. Once you have the goods, you'll be one of the ones who is supposed to be on the in." He told her. "And a nice big chunk of gold for you with each half bushel. And a solid punch on Libbey's trust card. That woman is a hard one so the fact she sent you here, you must already have at least one punch to begin with."

Only because she had known Chara's name.......

They left out the half broken puzzle. Escaping down the tunnel, the shallow water splashing beneath their feet. Chara's face frowning and serious... And yet... It's too easy. Too easy. But at the same time... And yet....

"What do you think?" Frisk asked as Chara kept a hand to her chin as she walked. She looked at The Temmie.

"What do you think?" She redirected. But The Temmie only shrugged.

"Eh. I can at least come with you this way." He said. Chara had thought of that several times too.

But she didn't say anything until they had reached the end of the tunnel. The protective trees and river close by compared to other tunnels. This really was a good set up. Not as stupid as she had thought at all...

And the distance hadn't been too awful... Almost a straight shot even. Not too much of a risk to get lost......

"Chara?"

Chara smiled and turned towards them, feeling genuinely excited for once as her red eyes shimmered.

"We do it."

And nearly a week later... They did.

The apples were bright red and radiant. In Chara's mind's eye they glowed in the sunlight and it felt almost a shame now, to think, that they were just going to be turned into a pulp and put into a little glass jar.

And when Chara brought one down between her pressing hands, daring to Check them in curiousity- you could feel the magic that had been instilled within them all throughout their growth...

Another shame that it would just be put into a jar. There was just enough there to make sure that they lasted for a very, very abnormal long time on their own to begin with. Even if they wouldn't persist forever after being picked.

But defintely for a long time. Months or so, would they even make it the year, she wondered... Or at the very least until next spring. That in itself was interesting.... If she wasn't already so set on Bravery and the jars and the gold that this offered for their own immediate needs then perhaps she would have reconsidered. Perhaps she would have stopped and they would not have gone....

But as it was.

They took the tarp that they used to cover their mattress and spread it out. Filled it as the trees gave what they could. And once they had put as many as the poor tarp could handle in its double layered state-

They met The River Person the next day and he helped pile it onto the boat. Happy to do it.. Though Chara had not revealed and had instructed the others not to either until they'd had everything set.... Just... where exactly they were supposed to go. Because she knew... She couldn't see his face thanks to the hood but she knew. The face he would make. That she would be able to feel. And she had not wanted to deal with it just yet.

Instead she watched in pure amazement as he lifted the tarp over his shoulder. Carrying like a sack over his shoulder. Frisk had let out a soft 'wooah' as he had watched and if Chara hadn't decided to trust the River Person- care- as much as she allows herself to care about anyone other than Frisk- She would have been absolutely terrified.

She had known he was strong- But to think that- He could kill her with his bare hands if he wanted to. Weakened, tired old man.... And he could still kill her with the strike of his hands. Magic or no.....

And she watched wide-eyed as The Temmie came closer to her. As Frisk lingered too closely to The River Person for The Temmie's own liking... Though still, there was that lack of mistrust Chara could feel. She just decided once again not to question it.

"Crazy ain't it?" The Temmie noted softly. Chara forced a smile. "Excited?"

"Bery, bery exciteds." Chara told him cheerfully. And she is. Excited. Anxious, too, but excited. The Temmie stared straight faced at her, unamused.

"Bery, bery _excites_." He corrected in a high pitched voice. Chara's smile widened and she snickered at the contrast. After a moment, as she turns to join The River Person and Frisk at the shore, she catches The Temmie's own satisfied smile for a moment. And she finds she is getting better at reading his face. At what he is feeling... and what he is not... now that she knows what to look.

Because he can't feel warmth, that warm affection and that is what he means by him not being able to feel... But he can still be bored. Satisfied. Disappointed, it seems. Frustrated and angry and scared. She thinks he can genuinely feel smug though. But that probably loops back into satisfied. But she doesn't think satisfied is quite the same thing as happy. But there are sometimes... When he is sleeping, or curled up next to Frisk, as he lets Frisk pet him behind the cat ears more and more and lets himself relax... Feel relaxed... She thinks that he can also feel content.

But it still hurts to think about because it is very clear it has not always been that way. In the fact that he knows and can describe what Frisk and Chara feel as if he has felt it himself. As if he just tried and tried hard enough. Reached far enough he could grasp it too....

But even if he can't....

She wants to help Frisk help him. To feel safe, satisfied, and content....

Or at the very least, safer......

Safer because he can trust.

Even if she can do nothing else. Even if they both can't care for each other like they would want. Because The Temmie physically cannot and Chara cannot afford to.

Him or Frisk...

Him or Frisk....

It cannot be that 'and'....

And that's just the way it goes...

It took three trips just with the tarp to get all the apples onto the boat and as the four of them were piled onto the boat afterwards, Chara really, really hoped once again they could get help from the tunnels once they were there... But as it was-

"Off to Perserverance, I presume?" The River Person asked and Chara couldn't avoid it any longer. She kept her lips pressed together though, just to prove that she could. Just for a moment longer. But at the same time The River Person paused, noticing her expression as he kept his oar ready to strike away from shore.... "Chara....?"

"We're not actually taking it to Perserverance." She told him. And there was that expression. She couldn't see it but she could feel it. The concern but also mixed with what was perhaps disappointment. But he won't say anything. He never does. He has no right to tell them where to go or what to do.... He's not her parent.... Not a guardian or protector no matter how much he wishes. But he surprises her this time...

"I don't think that is the wisest decision."

Well of course not, it's stupid.

"Wats meanz?" The Temmie chirped up when Chara hesitates.

"It is just.... The Guard has been restless. Their new Head Captain has been... eager to prove herself."

"Head Captain?" Chara asks.

"Yes.... a woman. Her name is Alphys."

"But.. Captain. Not General...." Chara notes.

"... The term has been retired they say."

"Says..." The Temmie repeated and even in the cheerful tone, it seems skeptical.

"Regardless of term, she is in charge.. and I fear she has been very..."

"Loving." Frisk fills in the pun for him. The River Person lowered his head sadly.

"I do not think it wise for you to.... take this path."

"It's only for a day. Half even. It depends on if we get help carrying the apples through the tunnels."

If not it will be annoying going back and forth, back and forth.... But overall, they have nothing else to do... And she's packed for both lunch and dinner and they have apples to spare.

The River Person stared a moment.

"If you truly wish for this route...." Chara hesitated but then nodded.

"We need the gold." She said.

And she can feel his disappointment in her answer. But this time he does not protest. His large frame is lowered in resignation and she hates that. But even still.....

"Which tunnel do you wish to use?"

"The third one from the dumps." She tells him.

"It dead ends, the puzzle is broken." He informed her. Chara frowned, just angry about it all over again.

Breaking the puzzles. It felt almost..... Almost... Taboo. Though she did not know the word, the feeling was there. And not because it was tradition like The Temmie had said for The Monsters. But just because. The puzzles were your only access to places. Coming across a broken puzzle when it happens on its own is bad and dangerous enough depending on how it broke and what it does and how badly you need to be getting away. Running into a bridge that needed a puzzle to activate only to have the puzzle broken and you're being chased by something- She's lucky she can swin but what if there had been spikes in that water?!

Either way. The breaking of a puzzle on purpose just boiled her blood. Even if it did make sense to protect their product... And she was now paying off with it too cuz since the word had gotten around that it was a dead end, that meant nobody should be there besides them overall no matter how many times they ended up having to go back and forth.

Still it remained.

It made her angry.

"It's only broken from one side." Frisk explained. "Someone will open it for us when they see that we have the apples."

And The River Person did say anything else about it. Only set the boat off in the correct direction. But Chara still can't help but feel, even through her anger... That she really has disappointed him in not taking his advice.

But even so. Frisk and The River Person talk. Just like they always do. Frisk asking his questions and questions, always his questions. This time asking about the Guard at first, just little curiousities- but it doesn't last. It does not seem to be a conversation The River Person really wants to talk about though he does answer the questions when asked. But Frisk being Frisk can tell and quickly Frisk is asking other things. All about apples and Chara is sitting by The Temmie. Listening in.

About all the things The Monsters can make with them- Applesauce they know. Applesauce and you can make it into a cake. And apple cider to drink- something Chara knows, she wishes she could make it, nice and warm. And this thing called apple crisp. Apple fritters. Apple dumplings. But in the end he trails off with a softened apple pie....

And Chara notes how he somewhat lowers his head.

....Though she doesn't notice how The Temmie does too.

And Frisk changes subjects, not even missing an emotional beat for a moment. Smoothing it over in that way he does and Chara wonders how someone can just talk to another person so naturally.

And too soon it feels that they are piling out of the boat. The River Person reluctantly, though he doesn't say, hiding the tarp and the apples in the brush....

"Do you wish me to wait?" He asks. And the answer is yes. She wants him to stand guard but also she knows that he will only sit there and dread and worry.... Better to have him at least preoccupied....

"You can come by later to pick us up." She offers. "I don't want to keep you."

But she knows he wouldn't mind. But she minds.

And he can see that.

His head lowered a bit again and she regrets it but at the same time... She, the idiot, does not change her mind. And Frisk and The Temmie do not protest...

Nobody protests.

Nobody protests as The River Person goes off. Nobody protests and they pack up the three book bags and the tote with apples. And they managed, moving to the wall, to the puzzle, being let in through the puzzle. And much to Chara's dismay the only way they're getting help is if they reduce the amount of gold they get for their efforts and Chara won't have it. They have all day. They can do it.

Nobody protests. From what she can feel from Tem- The Temmie, he is feeling angry and bitter about the men. And The Temmie isn't even the one carrying apples at first. Though eventually they find a way to get the tote around him. His growing limbs and the tote's straps around his waiste.

He still grumbles the whole time.

Back and forth, back and forth.

And Frisk talking, trying to keep it up, but eventually even he saunters into silence and Chara decides they take a break. The chatter-box boy immediately falls asleep with The Temmie in his lap. And Chara smiles... Though as tired as she is she can't join them. She has to stand watch....

And they can't rest forever...

And it just goes back to how it was. Back and forth and back.

Through the tunnel and the wall and the puzzle with its lifting metal grate that closes on them as soon as they enter and they have to solve the puzzle to get out until Mason (she has wholeheartedly decided she does not like him), until he finally shows them the button you can hold down to keep it from closing and that become's Frisk's job instead of having to solve the puzzle. It's only been a hundred times though already it feels but she supposes never late than never. And she knows that the number is actually a lot lower than that. But it is still double diggets she knows.

But she gets the distinct feeling that they have been amused watching Frisk solve the rotating puzzle each time. The switches and gears-

And she hates them.

Back and forth, back and forth. Chara can't remember the last time she's been this exhausted. It's not so much the walking back and forth, its the added weight.

But eventually. Finally......

It's done. The last of the apples.

Three tarps worth, who know how many bags, who knew how many trips.

Chara collapsed against the wall once the last of it was done. Tired, exhausted, but smiling.... A little bit more than half the day she supposed but still...

Mason came over, another cigarette in his hands.

"No time to rest yet, sweetie. You want paid doncha?"

She wanted a new back. New legs. The Temmie looked absolutely exhausted, bout ready to fall apart... and he had been relieved of his duty to carry things a few turns ago.... Frisk was still standing but it seemed more like he knew that if he went down he would not be getting back up... And perhaps the nap he had taken had helped....

"I'm going to be honest... I hadn't expected this." Mason continued. "How many trees did you raid?"

"Tree." Frisk murmured. But even in her exhausted state, Chara knew that was horrible and didn't really work but at the same time she was too tired to care...

"Not bests." The Temmie commented though. Frisk managed a shrug.

"Three." He said.

"Well, separating them into bushels while you two went back and forth."

No thanks to him for that...

"You two.. three, I guess.. You know you're crazy right?"

Chara was feeling rather stupid, honestly.

"Just tell me how much we get..." She breathed, closing her eyes.

"We pay by the half bushel. You've got 18 full ones. Or at least about but considering how much you worked I'm willing to just bump it up."

How kind...

"So a grand total of 1,440 G."

Red eyes shot open wide.

"What?" She breathed.

She'd thought.... She'd been thinking... she didn't even know. She hadn't even asked only that she would be getting Gold.

But Mason laughed at their wide eyes. Or at least, Chara and Frisk's wide eyes.

"Never had so much for yourself have you?" No... Only to give to other people. Not her.... She.. The most she's ever had personally was near 200G. That's it. She's never- "Don't be bragging about it though. Trust me." He advised. "Honestly, bury it somewhere. But um, we gotta go to my tent if you want to get paid." Chara got up by herself, newly found strength as she stayed wide-eyed. "And put your eyes back into your skull."

But the three of them, or two of them again as Frisk, though exhuasted, let The Temmie drap over his shoulder again, they followed after Mason. And as he opened his safe Chara had to wonder where had gotten- Chara and Frisk watched as he counted the rolls out in front of them and Chara is relieved that she actually knows how to count and has a basic understanding. Though as he counts it out...

That's hers. Her's, Frisk's and Tem- The Temmie's. That's theirs. Actually theirs. She's not handing it off to someone else who would painstakingly count it in front of her and make her anxious-

And that is their's.

Their's.

Their's as she slips it into her backpack and hangs it over her chest and holds it close. It feels so light compared to the apples but it's their's- More than she has ever had in her entire life. And she feels light on that alone. Light though exhausted and sore and ready to collapse. And Mason laughed again.

"If I were you I'd curl up somewhere and sleep for a bit before going anywhere."

And it is stupid. Stupid.

But Chara couldn't help but agree.

Eating the lunches they packed. Holding the bag of gold close... And Frisk letting her nap with her back against the wall. Nap as he sat watch, for anyone who could try to mess with her even there in the obvious, flickering lights. And she holds the bag close, and she realizes... she could very well cry.

Something good. One last good thing, three good things. She couldn't have asked for anything more. She really couldn't.

"Satisfying, aint' it?" The Temmie asked. Chara looked half upwards with half lidded eyes from where she lay against two of the bookbags and hugged the other with the gold. The Temmie was laying almost at her head. "Satisfying having your plans go alright for once."

Chara smiled widely, and in a pure moment of childish giddiness and relief, clear craziness, she reached out and pet him behind the ears. The Temmie rolled his eyes but she knows, can feel, him leaning in against her fingers.

"You look like crap." She notes though.

"Oh, shut up."

Chara snickered softly. And even as she stopped petting, she kept her hand rested against his head...

".... Thank you..." She managed softly. The Temmie only leaned his face forward into his paws as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, don't get sappy. I expect a majority of the gold you know. Since I did all the work." Chara shoved the top of his head playfully and pulled away and closed her eyes as she rested farther against the bookbags.

"Yeah, yeah...." She mumbled... "Get you a nice big... whats ev da temz likes."

And even there, in the middle of camp, Chara found herself slipping to sleep...

And she doesn't know how long she sleeps. If she dreams or not. All she knows is that she wakes up into a genuine nightmare.

Because since when was the universe fair....

And when does the universe let you hold on to anything good for longer than a second.

And in an instant... the world explodes into chaos. And Chara wakes up to screaming and raining debris and darkness.

* * *

 

_Stupid. Stupid. So astonishingly stupid, she was stupid-_

_Stupid getting comfortable. Stupid thinking she'd had something that couldn't have been taken away-_

_Cheated-_

_And she's stupid, stupid, stupid-_

_She's-_

* * *

 

She's grabbing Frisk immediately, grabbing him. As the ceiling continues to shake, the ceiling continues to crumble. The entire world is screams and there was magic racing in a multitude of colours. And Chara is grabbing Frisk. Sitting up, reaching her hands, taking him forcefully by the shoulders.

It doesn't matter he was the one on watch, the one who should have been grabbing her from her sleep. She's up in an instant, her instincts of fight or flight kicking in.

As the world plunges into near total darkness, she has already grabbed hold of Frisk.

She's already made up a plan of action. She'd had it more than half made before she's laid down even if it wasn't constiously there in the front of her mind. And there are three exits to this place. Three. Two of them towards the front and too far away, closer to the chaos where the initial explosion had the roof caving in upon many of the shanties, intent on cutting most people off from those exits. Those exits that would be in the plans of the tunnels somewhere in some locked away file. The exits that the attacking Monsters would know about. Because Bravery in essence does in fact exist on a map no matter what they joked. And the Monsters would have planned about it. About the exits. But thereis a tunnel that isn't on any map. Truly isn't on any map. A tunnel made from pure hubris. A tunnel leading to the water well that Chara and Frisk have been using all day.

And Chara is automatically forcing Frisk forward. Towards the back where they had come from. Forcing him forward-

"Temmie!" Frisk cried out, but The Temmie is there, beside them. Shaken into alertness as automatically as Chara had. And they are running. Running through the falling haze of crumbling stone, blasts of magic, and she can hear what she recognizes as the sound of a gun. And it doesn't matter. Doesn't.

Except for the magical attack that skids in front of them and Chara cries out as she pulls Frisk back against her chest and the bookbag that had still been, thankfully, strapped around her arms as she had slept hugging it. Otherwise she would have abandoned it in an instant- forgetting-

And the magic attack sputters out but the air above them is crackling with what feels like electricity.

"GO!" The Temmie shouts, but Frisk and Chara are already staring at the woman towering over them on a piece of fallen ceiling. Chara's stomach drops at the piercing gaze that is illuminated by her summoning attacks. And the worst part is, they recognize each other-

No.... No, no-

" **You**."

At the sound of the woman's hostile voice, Frisk was moving forward, and Chara moved as if one with him. And the woman's attacks crashed behind them. And the movement stops being one as Frisk looks back.

"Tem!"

And Chara shoves him forward. Forcing Frisk to keep moving forward despite the pain-

As the tunnels behind them still echo with screams and the sound of magic bullets-

"He'll be fine!"

Fine. He's a Monster. A Monster or at least looks like one, he'll be fine. He's fine!

"He can catch up!" He can catch up...

_Him or her...._

And Chara forced Frisk through the tunnel, barely found in the darkness but the moment it is there, there is that awful smell of frigid dirty water-

And Chara forces Frisk forward.

The light of the mushrooms is a relief and the sight of the puzzle opening already, Mason standing there with a bag under his arm and watching it go up.

"Hey! Hold it! Hold it!" He looked back, and to Chara's relief he pressed the button, hesitating..

But the moment the magical attack emerges from the tunnel after them-

A scream caught in Chara's throat as he released the button... and slipped through the puzzle that immediately started to reclose behind him.

"No!" Frisk cried for her and both kids let go of each other, both intent on grabbing the button. To stop it, anything.... The two kids slammed into the grate with their hands in front of them.

"Solve it!" Chara cried as she reached for her dagger, turning back towards woman who was coming through the tunnel. The moment the reptile from the dumps several years before sees them again, she is smiling in a way Chara wouldn't grace with a description and there is a sickening laugh.

"Nowhere to run this time, is there?" She asked. And Chara.... Chara held the dagger out in front of her. Glad for the bookbag for another reason, another layer of added protection though it can't be much- But it is enough to keep her Soul in her chest as Chara resists the woman's pullinh magic.

And the LOVE, that darkness. It is in her chest too, but Chara keeps it at bay. Focusing on the Stay alive aspect instead of Kill. Just stay alive long enough to flee. To Flee.

The woman lifted both her hands and several balls of sparking electricity formed in front of her. And Chara knows she can't deflect all but as long she she can cover Frisk solving the puzzle. And keeping her far enough away so they can slip beneath it and close it again-

The attacks, bullets, race through the air and despite the soreness and protest of her body Chara slashes through the two closest to Frisk. With the first one, the blade sparks but the hilt absorbs some of it though her hands still sting- And yet the second one she cuts, it seems to explode on her and Chara cries out as she falls to the side. The bookbag against her chest hitting the ground and the dagger clattering a few feet away. She could grab it. If she had the time she could grab it, but the woman is already charging her attacks. And Chara was lifting her head. Staring at them and the woman's triumphant smile.

And all Chara can do is keep up her Defense. One of the two good things from the LOVE though she doesn't know if it is worth it. It isn't going to be enough- Just prolongue her suffering before she dies-

And Frisk- Frisk-

Her or Frisk-

The attacks are charged and Chara- she found herself frozen as the woman pointed her finger towards her and she is forced to watch as the attacks set to release.

And it is funny, to where your mind goes- Not exactly words but a multitude of different feelings.

And she feels- Frisk's smile, smiling at her, that first smile back in the dumps several years before. That smile when Chara first felt like someone had actually done something for her only because it had been right- Didn't benefit them, didn't mean to make her owe- And her coming back- not because she owed, not really... but because she had wanted to. She'd wanted to. She hadn't wanted to be alone. She hadn't want him to be alone- Didn't want him to die- They're going to die- Tem-The Tem...

They're going to leave Temmie alone-

All these feelings in a single instant. As she tries to push herself, the only thing she can do, to try to shield... But she knows in that same instant, she can't- The attacks- The attacks are racing towards her.

Racing towards her as she is still on her arms against the ground and she isn't going to get any farther.... And yet. The last moment, that last moment- That idiot-

The woman's attack's shattered in the air, an array of countering bullets striking them from behind, but the woman was releasing her last attack, directly at Chara.

And that idiot- That idiot-

Chara doesn't even have time to gasp.

That idiot-!

Jumping-

The Temmie is directly in front of Chara, slidding into place as he faced her, their eyes meeting for a moment, but just a frantic surreal moment- As Chara can't breathe and in an instant-

As all the little things race through Chara's head like feelings-

Him or her-

Her.

In an instant- He's gone.

In an instant, the attack striking, racing through him painfully and she sees it. Sees the pain, pain, unable to feel love and yet still feel the pain and the fear of it-

And he's gone.

Dust.

Dust scattering over her- He's dead. The sound of her own lungs finding a stray breath to exhale fills her head but she doesn't feel it. She only feels the pain- He's dead.

He's dead.

And the pain was ripping through Chara, as if she had still been the one hit. Hit directly in the chest-

As the scream wrenches itself from her chest- 


	66. Once Upon A Time...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... Humans and Monsters went to war....  
>  Once upon a more recent time....

.... There was only the sound of the ticking clock...........

The smell of paper and the hint of lemon that was almost lost entirely in the smell of old coffee..........

The light was streaming through the room from the crystal ceiling up above and yet half of the room was in shadow where Undyne stood looking at the bulletin board once again.........

Listening to that stupid, ticking clock..........

In her seeming, long endless wait.

Undyne refused to sit. Restless and finding new things to look at, or rather looking at the same flier on the bulletin for the fourth time. It was some sort of break room and she had been there for at least an hour now since returning to the castle and that did not include the long wait she had endured with the line. Slowly making her way to the front where people bought entrance into the castle to see the throne room and The Queen, where they sold tours to the more upfront places of the castle- the gardens and crystal parlors- though Undyne had noted that the garden with the water entrance she had been last time was not among them and it made her slightly curious...

But anxious.

As she went around reading the bulletins. If she tried to go back out, to the ticket sellers, she would be instantly shooed back inside. She felt resented for even existing, honestly. The hassle of it all on top of their already, super hard, difficult job that Undyne was so sure that it was. Barely being informed that she was coming let alone what to do with her. Despite that, from the tone it seemed that The General had indeed been very certain that she would be coming back, and that irked her, almost made her leave just for spite, but the need to know. To understand. It had been too strong and kept her there trapped like a prisoner in the little room.

She couldn't even try to get out despite the two exits. If she slipped deeper into the castle, she wouldn't know where to go to begin with and would miss The General's summons when he sent for her, as she had been promised and that was all she had been promised..

But all there was seemed to be an endless wait.....

And the ticking of that stupid clock she wanted to rip out from the wall.....

Steady and sure and promising movement forward...

But Undyne couldn't feel it... It all simply seemed to drag.

And it was only when she finally sat down in one of the chairs. Sat down and lowered her head in reluctant resignation to the wait, that the door on the opposite side of the room opened. Her head lifted in an instant, her chest tight and hopeful.

And there was the same small monster from before. Greyed out and wide staring eyes, the one who had called himself One.

"You are ready to see him." One said. Undyne frowned as she stood up but she pushed the odd wording aside in favor of moving, finally forward towards her goal. "Follow me."

Finally-

They walked through the halls, at times Undyne could see lighted areas and the sound of tourists but they never went in that direction. Instead they kept winding farther and farther down into the more shadowy, abandoned places. And One did nothing but look ahead, doing nothing to encourage conversation. And Undyne did not protest. She only wanted answers and if he wasn't going to give it to her, then it was pointless to talk. Only The General. The General......

One led her and Undyne felt uneasy even as she had felt uplifted before.... Uneasy at how.. normal the castle looked. The hall ways. No longer seem to narrow in on themselves as she walked, nothing like her night rush through darkness and green light... The only thing out of place was the Grey Door she found herself before. Grey much like One was. Seeming somehow out of place at the end of the long hall... It was a simple, plain grey door amongst the castle's typical, deep, shimmering blues...

"Knock." One instructed. Undyne frowned, nearly snarled and this time she did protest, refused to obey, as she opened the door without looking back.

And the room... too... was surprisingly ordinary.

Stretched out before her, flooded with light from the crystal ceiling and windows like all the other rooms of the castle. Just like every other room and it was normal except for the door. With bookshelves and a training dummy in the corner, and at the far end a desk. And beside it, staring out of one of the many windows... The General. Standing tall with his two current hands behind his hand, gripping each other. He did not look at her.

"I suppose just this once I can let it pass." He said aloud. Undyne opened her mouth but she found that... she didn't have anything to say. Too much to say, too many questions and also just vague feelings as she had a lot of questions she didn't even know how to put into words.

The door closed behind her and Undyne jumped and glanced back just in time to see the spare floating hand dissolving around the handle.

"Come. Sit down." The General instructed. "We have much to talk about...."

Undyne stared back towards The General, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Why...?" She demanded. It is all she has to start with. Why....? Why her, why he was taking his time and not just pushing her aside, she didn't like it. All of this, the feel of the air, though everything seemed normal, looked normal, it didn't fully feel normal. And she wanted to know why before she took even another cooperative step forward. Before she put away her desire to Fight at least for the moment and finally listen. Why.

"Why not?" He replied.

That didn't feel like an answer, or at the very least.. an answer that she wanted.

"No." She told him. "I want answers. I want the truth! I want all of this to make sense!"

After another moment of silence before finally.... The General breathed out a laugh before he finally turned his face towards her.

"Alright." He told her. And it felt almost.. too easy. Too giving.

"Why?" She stated again... but this time she is a bit more uncertain though she does not want to sound it.

"Because I see great potential within you. Determination and strength. A willing to do whatever is needed to get what you want no matter the personal cost." He looked away again though. Through the window and the garden outside, looking at what Undyne could now see was the most central part of the castle that rose up into the sky- "And I suppose if you truly want the truth. There is also a hint of spite."

Spite....

Undyne looked more closely at the central spiral, The Queen in her throne.....

The Queen who has asked her specifically not to come back.

Somehow, this made sense to her and Undyne found it just a bit easier to listen....

"You asked why we do not simply wipe humanity off the board." The General started again. Undyne nodded resolutely.

"Yes."

"Hmmm.. But tell me, _child_....... What is it that you really know... about the conflict and the war?"

What did she know...?

* * *

 

_This pain... Temmie- Temmie- This awful pain- All of it in a single scream that echoed through the tunnel- and the moment it settles- solidifies-focuses on one thing-_

The dagger was in Chara's hand but she has no memory of picking it up. She was up off of the ground though she does not remember standing. She does not fully comprehend the step forward she takes. Only the pain. The anger. The way the air fills her lungs and another offensive scream pierces from her with her murderous intent, and how she wants the woman in front of her to burn.

* * *

 

She knew dust, pain, loss. She knew how it was to scream at the top of her lungs as power flooded through her and she went to strike those at fault. And she knew it was his fault. In some way his fault. Because he had Not done what he needed to before it had come to this. His fault and The Queen's, somehow, someway, it is all his fault- And even as she listens, the hatred in her chest-

* * *

 

But there are two frantic, terrified hands grabbing her left forearm, and Chara was being thrown back with the dagger accidentally forced from her hand- And there is so much rage that it is only when she hits the ground again that anything but the pain and the cruel witch registers. Of Frisk who was rolling after her underneath the grate, hugging her and forcing her with him as the puzzle immediately begins its decent as they pass. The grinding, clicking sound of the gears as the two children come out the other end.

And as the grate slams shut again, blocking them from view, safe for a moment- Chara let out another loud, piercing scream in rage at the closed gate. At the woman blocked off from them and Chara's intent, protected from it, from Chara- She let out another raged filled scream as she lay against the cold, wet ground-

* * *

 

And that is what she knows of the conflict. Of the 'war'.

Everyone Undyne has loved is gone, her friendships falling through, revealed as superficial in the chaos. And the only thing she has is the two skeletons that have somehow seemed to gravitate towards her and she to them- And that is the only thing she has and the desire to make sure it doesn't happen again. And that's all that matters.

And she wants answers. Wants solutions.

But that is not what The General is searching for and she knows it. Reluctantly, if this is what she needs to offer in order for the conversation to progress-

"The war started over 200 hundred years ago-"

"How many years ago exactly?"

Undyne hesitated...

"I don't remember." She mumbled.

"Speak up. It is no good to sound uncertain when trying to move an obstacle in your way."

"I don't remember." Undyne told him more clearly.

" _Remember_... Memory is such a fickle thing, isn't it...? But still, please, continue... How did the war start?" Undyne took a deep breath.

"... They say there were tensions with the humans and The Prince was tricked into a meeting with humans in order to ensure peace. But the humans betrayed him. The Queen learned of the ruse and rushed to save him, but she was too late. He died. And The Queen, in her anger, enacted justice. She absorbed the six human Souls and destroyed as much of humanity as she could before.. Well.."

"Continue."

"The Souls and the power were.. too much for her.. At least her physical body even if they weren't for her Soul... They say... She created The Crystal Palace, that it sprung up around her in order to keep herself together and that she... _ascended_. That she can still see and.. hear."

"And what of humanity?"

"Most fled to the mountain, to Ebott, and sealed themselves underground with a magic spell. With an unbreakable barrier. And those that did not flee into the mountain took up the surrounding valley and we've been trying to finish it ever since."

"Now tell me what you think and not only what they say." Undyne hesitated again.

"I don't know what I think...." She admitted.

"Oh?"

"That's why I came back."

"For the truth." The General reaffirmed.

"Things don't make.. don't make sense."

"How so?" Undyne can tell by his voice that he is almost amuse and she does not appreciate it....

"I thought... The Queen was fallen down. But she.... she really can see and hear... But if that is true.... And yet.... Humanity still...." She tried her best to garner her courage back up. She found it in her anger. "No matter the history. The fact still remains, whether she is a goddess or not, whatever is going on here. Humanity is still alive, people are still needlessly dying! And that. Is each of **your** faults."

And yet, spite. And yet...

"...." The General kept his gaze out the window, but Undyne could see that his hands behind his back had tightened around each other.

"So why?" Undyne asked again. "You will tell me why."

Why didn't he do something?

"Why....." The General began. He stood up straighter and Undyne resisted the urge to shrink in on herself as he seemed to darken in front of her. But it seemed to pass and he turned back towards her, is entire body this time. There was something in his stance and expression. Knowing and almost... excited. "I will tell you why but I must ask a few more things first."

"What?"

"Tell me.... Did you forget how many years it was since the war? Or did you simply never know it?"

"I... I forgot it. They teach us in.... They say...."

"Have you ever seen any footage from the war? Anything real? Not just... _They say._..?"

"Of course-"

"Not from the wall, or from more recent fights. Or battles from 100 or almost 200 years ago. The War. The Queen, even. Tell me, have you seen anything of that?"

The Queen.....

"The Queen... They say-"

"Not what they say."

"... The Queen's destruction was too quick, fast, too big to-"

"They say."

"I....." Undyne didn't... She didn't understand. But if she thinks about it. Stops and thinks, like she is doing now... She.....

"Hm." The General let out in apparent amusement again. Perhaps amusement was not the right word. But at the very least satisfaction. At getting her face into that confused, open mouthed expression as she lacks the ability to put what she is feeling into words.

The General was turning towards the windows again, stepping closer. His hands released each other and he lifted one even as the other stayed behind his back and Undyne watched him with that lingering confusion.

"There is truth in what _they say_ of course. Or else they wouldn't say it. It was over 200 years ago that the Prince was tricked, meeting with the humans. And he did in fact, die. The Queen did indeed absorb the Souls. She did indeed destroy. Erase. Quick and fast. But there is so much that the population does not know. Cannot remember. That _you_ do not remember."

Undyne shook her head.

"I wasn't.. I wasn't born yet." She told him. The General was silent for a moment but then... The fingers of his lifted hand curled in loosely.

"What if I were to tell you.... that Monsters lost The Great War? That once upon a time that no longer happened..... Monsters.. were the ones sealed Underground?"

Undyne pulled back, her face in a confused frown.

 **"What?"** She demanded. But then she was angry again. Snarling. "You fucking **bastard**! You aren't taking me seriously at all! You've just been playing with me!" Undyne summoned four of her spears as she lifted her hands out beside her. "Say all you want about the they say, she say, we say, the only way we lost was in the fact that you didn't finish it-! Humanity was the one nearly wiped out! Humans were the ones to flee beneath the mountain!"

Those are some of the few things she knows for sure.

"You will tell me the truth!" She continued! "Even if I cannot hope to defeat you! I can still-!" Something. She would find something! And he would tell her the truth!

The General laughed softly to himself and he looked downward as he rejoined his hands together behind his back.

"I must admit. As much of a hassle it may be to discipline into focus and put to use, I have missed your passion dearly..."

"W..." That didn't.... "Quit messing with me!"

"I am not." The General stated seriously. "I am telling you the truth. Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans and Monsters. And one day, war broke out between the two races. And just like I said. After a long battle, the humans were victorious." Undyne.... "They sealed us underground with a magic spell."

And Undyne.... She could see.... He was serious. He was truly, genuinely serious.

"That accursed barrier, for the humans it offers protection. For us, it was our prison. And many years later....."

"But that's not what happened..." Undyne whispered.

"Precisely." The General said to her surprise and she just.. did not understand. But he was looking at her, seeming half excited, half frustrated at the same time. Undyne was frozen, as he came closer and closer with everything he said. "What if I told you... that there was a power greater than any other you have ever known? The ability to play by your own rules, to play _God_. The ability to _SAVE_ and _ERASE_. As your desire for this world overrides all other's..." He was towering over her, his tone truly excited, his voice somehow big though he did not raise it. "The power to reshape the _world_ purely by one's own determination. The ability to twist the very essence of _time_ and _space,_ the fabric of _existence_... Even in the face of _death_."

Undyne...

"And that's why...?" She breathed...

It never happened.

Time... and space....

And yet.....

"I don't understand." She said. "If we really were Underground for... years and we don't remember? And then time..."

"A True _Reset_. All the way back to the start of the war."

"The Queen, the story... 200 years ago?" Undyne stated. "But.... humanity... That doesn't explain.."

"Humanity." The General stated in genuine anger. "Yes, humanity. You are correct, child.... When you say that there is no reason for this conflict to continue. That any moment I could wipe them off the face of this world with my forces. But what if I were to tell you...... That I already **have**."

"I...." Undyne couldn't... She couldn't....

Gaster was leaning downwards, staring her directly in the face.

"Understand this, Undyne, if you understand anything at all. It is not a matter of destroying humanity......" She could feel the furious rage just barely hidden in the darkness- "It is a matter of **keeping** it that way."

And Undyne......

"The Queen?" She breathed. The Queen with the Souls. With the power- But The General stood up tall again, his hands still behind his back and he frowned seriously.... Hatefully.

"Once yes, but now... **No**."

No...?

Undyne frowned in confusion again...

"But then.... who?"

Who could have that power? Be more powerful than The Queen...?

Who...?

* * *

_Him or her- Her._

_Him or Frisk....._

_The dust scattered over her gloved hand- The dust- His dust- And the pain in her chest as she screamed- His dust- Dust... And she's the one whose killed him and there was no other way- Betrayal- And yet..._

_"Papyrus.............. There's someone I need you to find."_

Who.....?

Chara kept her fingers gripped tightly at the pillow in her lap as the guilt races through her and Papyrus stares, still expectantly.

Who....

"Temmie." She says.

Temmie.

Her best friend.

Temmie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Appreciate with me.... This chapter being 66. Like Damn I wish this was fully planned. And even still... There is still a question in all of this, huh?


	67. Unsaid Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, I think my sleep schedule is officially fucked if it wasn't before.
> 
> And.... this chapter set up is a bit different than usual but it wouldn't work- like half this chapter was written before last chapter before I decided to put last chapter first.

Temmie...

..... It's terrifying how someplace can feel so much like home, the closest thing you can let yourself have to it, and then in an instant, the very next day, that's the farthest from the truth. It's all the same- It looks the same, except for one or two things. But it's empty. You feel empty... You're empty except for the anger and pain and a sense that it isn't real, but it is. You know it is....

Their little camp, where they had been the whole summer, it's all the same though the tarp is still missing from over their mattress and the few things they had taken caution to hide before leaving the day before with the apples... with the apples, with Temmie on her shoulder as they joked.... As a rich excitement had filled her to even out the anxiousness... And Temmie..

Temmie.

The camp is silent and empty except for the surronding woods that has no right to sound so cheerful and normal, surrounding everything while the camp itself is empty save for the sound of breathing..... And Chara sat on the end of the mattress, Frisk pressed up behind her, curled into a little ball beneath the blanket, she isn't sure if he is sleeping or not but she just stares ahead, still covered in dust and her face stiff from it and the dried tears... as she stared emptied at the dead fire and she can't bring herself to crawl over and reignite it. To do anything... She can't...

Temmie....

Temmie.

* * *

Temmie...

The puzzle closing beside them.

And Chara can't do anything but scream- can't even stand like she wants, to hit her fists against the grate because Frisk was still on top of her, holding her with his face buried against her shoulder and his entire body shakes with tears; the sensation digs its claws into Chara's chest but for once, she can't hug him back. Even as her scream starts to slip into her own tears, into the pain over the rage though the rage is still there. She can't hug him back right away. For once, she is too caught up in her own pain. Always putting someone else's pain, Frisk's pain, over her own, but this time she can't.

She can't even take charge like usual, push past the pain and make them do what they had to. In fact, Frisk had been the one to force her to Flee and if it were up to her she would have ruined it all even farther. Her and Frisk- They need to run still. Pick themselves up and run. Run and flee- The stone ceiling shakes from a nearby blast- they are in danger here. The puzzle could open up any second, the reptilian witch coming through to try and kill them- And a part of Chara wants her to. But the dagger- Chara's fingers were curling against the ground and it is no longer there. And the pain is in her chest as her red eyes close and she half keens, half rages again against the cold, moist unforgiving ground, though Frisk's warm body presses down against her. And she just-!

Temmie....

* * *

He's gone. He's actually gone. He's not coming back.. And the camp is empty...

Chara feels empty.... If she tries to think about it, all that comes is anger. Frustration and rage... So she doesn't think about it. Doesn't think about it at all. She'll only scream again...

* * *

Chara's arms lifted and she wrapped them tightly around Frisk, burying her own face as she shook, as the sobbed scream escapes from her.

Temmie-

His dust is still all over her, getting all over Frisk. Over the two of them together as they both held onto the other painfully and tight-

Chara does not want to move. Frisk does not want to move. They just stay there on the mattress in the morning light.

* * *

But they can't stay like this, they can't, they know they can't. But individually they can't pull away. Can't move. It's only together. Together standing up, holding onto each other, with an arm wrapped around for each as they both manage to make their way, slowly at first because they can't do it any other way. But then quicker and quicker, because they knew they had to even if it somehow lacked a sense of any real urgency or fear. At least for Chara- She keeps going- because she has to- She's supposed to- And yet unable to feel anything but the pain. But she knows if she doesn't move- Keep Frisk moving who feels like he just wants to collapse again if it weren't for him against her and her against him.... And it's just a haze, that blurr....

Chara barely notices when they get out of the tunnel. There is a rush of fresh air that makes her choke, and the sunlight is too intense, but the feeling and sensation of those things are all that register other than exactly what it is that they were. That they were trees, that this was sunlight-

* * *

They can't ignore the continuing rising sun forever though they want to, and Frisk eventually sits up, his concern also winning out as he sat between her and the other sleeping form that was right there against the tree-

* * *

There was the sound of someone calling her and Frisk's name doesn't quite register and neither does his hooded, shadowed figure as he emerges in front of them. Only that, the slight hopeful flutter of her heart that passes in an instant and the pain comes crashing down even harder though she can't fathom consciously why the pain skipped a beat like that only to worsen. Can't fathom anything other than the pain as someone grabs her. Another frantic hand grabs her. Her and Frisk. And she doesn't protest. Doesn't do anything but let the hand guide her.

Except there is no guiding, no leading her away. In an instant, or maybe she just doesn't register the entire thing, she is somewhere else. The smell of water changing from one frigid, cold, and musk to the smell of the river she knows and it floods her mind.

"The boat!" The River Person's deep voice ordered as he released them. "The boat!"

And she obeys.

* * *

The River Person is still asleep, against the tree that they usually tie the tarp to, where once a spider wove her web and Frisk would greet it every morning as if it could understand... And now The River Person is there, his breathing deep and steady, but it does nothing to make the camp feel less empty. Only highlights how wrong everything is. How much he shouldn't be here. Chara has thought, wished, so much for him to stay but now she can only lower her head and try not to let it make her angry because he doesn't deserve to have her angry at him- She knows it. And yet-

* * *

Chara obeys. Crawls over the side somehow with Frisk and obeys. And she wants to collapse. Wants to fall apart and scream again, but there in the back of the boat-

" **You**."

She has no dagger. She has not means of real, true **_Attack_**. But the sight of him with his stupid little bag under his arm, and already trying to light another cigarette with shakey hands, and Chara- The scream pierces through her again and she was racing across the boat with just her hands. Her dust covered hands and arms though it looks a lot more like dirt.

Mason jumped back, eyes wide and dropping his cigarette as she does but she doesn't reach him- The River Person catches her by the strap of a bookbag she had forgotten- hadn't registered- having even still been there. But she was being pulled back, even as she screamed at him every foul thing she knew; you fucking bastard, ass, cunt, son of a bitch- even if she does not know what each one individually means, the anger and emotion behind them is just the same and she knows she means them- As The River Person held her back and Frisk kept his head down, seeming to find it difficult to breathe-

Mason though, was not moved. He only stood up straighter.

* * *

Chara should move. Chara should go find them some breakfast. She should wash the dust from her hands... She can't. As Frisk simply rests his head against her shoulder again in continued silence.....

* * *

"Like you wouldn't have done the same!" Mason shouted, the cheerful business attitude gone though Chara had never appreciated it, accepted it to begin with. "Look you're fine! You've still got your money and it's over now! Let's just get the boat going before they have a chance to sweep the forest!"

The money.....

The anger was choking Chara-

 **Fine**. Fine! Her money and fine! Chara was swinging backwards, frantic to get out of the bookbag, and when she did, finally managed it, she grabbed it violently, wanting to thow it at him- no, the water, throw it- But The River Person was lifting it up, pulling it from her fingers and then high out of her reach. Chara screamed again as he placed a firm hand on her shoulder and kept her in place.

"Chara! Chara." He tried to calm.

"NO! NO! NO!" She raged.

"Chara!" The River Person put the bookbag down behind him and put both hands on her shoulders. "Chara, calm down-" She struggled a bit more, but eventually as she couldn't move, the tears were coming fast-

"Tem." She sobbed finally. The River Person... She can feel the understanding in his tighening grip.

"The temmie..." The River Person repeated, and the understanding is slipping into his voice... Chara can feel the grainy dust against her skin even as the hot, angry tears stream down her face.

"It's all his fault. All **his** fault."

* * *

The **anger**.

* * *

"Chara-"

"It's his fault. He closed the puzzle on us. It's **HIS FAULT**!"

"Chara." The River Person tried again. On the other side of the boat, Mason's expression had changed, more guilty now as the consequences were laid out in front of him. But that still just made Chara even angrier. And still he was defensive.

"You would have done the same thing for yourself." He argued again.

* * *

The pain...

* * *

And he is right. She would have left him, done the same thing, but if he had just held on a bit longer. Given them just enough of a chanceto reach the button themselves. Even if it gave them just a few feet to get by- It's his fault! His! It's his!

* * *

Him or her.... Him or her... He wasn't supposed to... She wasn't supposed to.. No hard feelings... He wasn't supposed to. Him or her... _Her_.

Chara found herself staring at her dust covered hand again.. the dust on her hands... She can't bare to wipe it off, to clean herself in anyway...

All she can do is rest her head against Frisk, staring at her hand... rubbing her fingers together slowly, absently... The immediate danger of the previous day gone and her mind is forced to return to the pain more fully, the pain and she is lost and she just stares- Her fingers-

He can't be.....

He said... He said he didn't care. He couldn't care... Feel the warmth of it... He couldn't... All the good little things. He couldn't care. She wasn't supposed to.. He wasn't supposed to...

Him or her....

* * *

"Look.." Mason tried, getting closer and he bent more downwards, trying to be genuinely appeasing, to soothe her over now that he is certain that she can't move- Coward! Chara wants to jump at him, grab at him- But The River Person has her tight. "Look, I'm sorry, I really am, about your little pet bu-"

* * *

 

Frisk lifted his own hand to hers, cupping the back of it, his bruised fingers against hers and the dust...

* * *

The swiftness of Frisk's punch catches Chara's breath in her chest, the clear shock of the action cutting off her anger for just a moment as the man was dropped his own bag of money and clasped at his nose with both hands.

* * *

Frisk's fingers tightened around hers for a moment.... but he doesn't say anything. Once again he doesn't say a thing and once again it makes her heart skip a beat... as he pulled her hand to his chest.

* * *

"Frisk-!" The River Person cried, lifting a hand and wanting to grab the boy but he is just out of reach and to get him he would have to let go of Chara and that would only make everything worse. And Mason..... Mason was taking several steps back, collecting himself, and then lowering his hands, his nose bleeding, but his face- The intent in Mason's eyes as he tries to take a step towards Frisk- Chara could kill him just for that- She will-!

* * *

Chara caught Frisk making another concerned glance towards The River Person.

* * *

The River Person let go of her but before Chara can register it, take advantage of it, she is frozen as The River Person disappears entirely beside her and in the same instance- Appears immediately between Frisk and Mason. Forcefully keeping them apart. And in a swift instant-

* * *

"He's okay." Chara managed softly, though she wants to not say anything either. Never say anything ever again, when she does she just wants to scream... But she has to say it. He's okay. "He's just asleep."

* * *

And in a swift instant- Frisk and Mason stumbled back away from The River Person as he flooded with magic, his cloak rippling with it as he brought his trident high- and there was a pulling on their Souls- Chara rushed to Frisk, catching him even as the world around them went black- the illumination of yellow light in the appearing buttons before them, the illunimation of red and green light in the exposing of their Souls- Frisk and Chara held each other tight in fear, as across from them Mason and his green Soul coward- As The River Person lifted his trident high and brought it forcefully down.

* * *

Just asleep...

Exhausted and worn...

* * *

As a wave of intense magic flooded through the boat, the trident struck against the glowing yellow buttons- Directly through- FIGHT.

And with an intense wave of magic... It shattered.

And so did the rest of theirs....

* * *

One does not Fight The River Person. You can't.

He does not let you.

But it most certainly takes the Fight out of him...

And Chara worries, despite trying to assure Frisk... She just doesn't know what they will do if he doesn't wake... She doesn't know.... She decides not to think, staring out across the empty camp... The world around them...

* * *

It was as if the world paused for a moment, everything faltering and staring and Chara didn't breathe- But the magic was settling and the world began to return. The world- trees, water, even the boat- reappearing from the darkness- Even as the yellow buttons remained and their Souls stayed bared as each tried to catch their breath and Frisk continued to tremble in Chara's grasp-

* * *

Chara should get moving, wash, make breakfast, this can't keep going... She has to get going...

* * *

Chara could not move though, she realized. It was not just that she was frozen in reaction, she really could not move. Could not Do anything. Could only continue to stare, recatching Mason's gaze and wanting to lung forward, the feeling deep inside her chest but she could not move. Nor could she back up. There was something keeping her close to the buttons and her Soul- And she was struggling to breathe as the confining sensation settled in.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Mason ordered. "Why can't I move?!"

"Because you are still trying to Fight and that is no longer an option as long as this Battle continues and I suspect your intent to bypass this is nowhere near stronger than my intent to keep you here within it. Not to mention your inexperience. But moreover, it is not your turn. Its Frisk's."

Frisk...

Turns....?

Chara glanced down at the boy who was staring wide-eyed at The River Person and the glowing buttons.

* * *

Chara glanced down at Frisk again, the boy still holding her hand...

* * *

"Please..." The River Person spoke lowly, directing his attention and lifting a hand out to them. "I know you are upset, and you have every right to be, but please... we cannot stay here and there other people who need help to Flee. Please.. Frisk, Chara, please.." He looked over to Mason. "They are children, Mason. Children that have just suffered a great loss. You can understand their anger, can't you? Please, you are not acting like yourself."

But Mason snarled, though he eventually looked downwards and away...

"What do you know of anything?" He demanded bitterly. The River Person sighed softly, painfully, but turned back towards her and Frisk.

"Please... Even if you cannot forgive it, please let us Flee."

Flee...

The boy was turning into Chara, burying his face and crying, escpaing into her warmth as his back shook again.

"Frisk...." The River Person tried gently, but there was a soft pulse from Frisk's Soul-

[Flee]

The button on the far side pulsed along with his Soul- MERCY, and his Soul faded away, returning to his body, where it belonged. Chara grit her teeth as suddenly she felt she could move if she wanted to... Except for in the way she really wants. To step forward. Attack. Attack, Fight! But she can't. She can't move forward, The River Person, whatever this is- it won't let her. But she won't Flee. She won't. It is burning inside her. The want to make someone pay! As she has her arms wrapped around Frisk, but still she wants to Fight! But she can't- She can't- And here was the prick of tears in her eyes again as her chest tightens.

* * *

She should do something... do anything... pick herself up and do something besides sit there... the feelings and yet the emptiness- lost-

Pain, loss, anger-

* * *

"Kick him out." Chara whispered tightly. The River Person's shoulder's slacked and she knows he won't. She knew before saying it. She did not expect him to even, but she says it again because that is exactly what she wants. "Kick him out. Leave him behind to fend for himself like he did us. Let **_him_** flee. I won't."

* * *

She's just tired, so tired....

* * *

She's tired of running, of losing, and this pain- this rage- this loss- this-

"Chara, please... " The River Person, she can feel it, the pain he is in too. And it startles her a moment. To feel it and not just infer it... Feel the pain in his own, tired Soul...

Please and she can feel how badly he means it..

But she can't.... She.....

"No." She said firmly, a pulse from her Soul- ACT

[Refuse]

She refused.

And she felt control shift away from her but she knows she was never in control, not really, that The River Person was the only one who could really say how this would end, all Chara could do was say that it wouldn't. She refused, not until she got something! The River Person was looking towards Mason...

"Please..." The River Person stated.

Mason had his arms crossed as he kept his face turned away.

"Only to get us out of here." He stated- MERCY.

[Flee]

But Chara- The rage raced through her, her intent, a strong- **No.**

Even as Mason's Soul tried to escape, her intent, though she could not act on it to FIGHT, it pulled his Soul back forward and the yellow buttons in front of him remained.

"You stupid child you're going to get us killed!" Mason yelled. But he'd had no problem getting them killed before!! And yet, she can already feel The River Person- ACT.

"Chara, I know you. I know that you are angry and hurt and I know that you are trying to channel your feelings into action so you are distracted to how much you feel as if you are lost. To have any sort of control. But please... Do not make any rash decisions in your anger. Frisk needs you and the two of you need to get to safety.. And no matter how much anger you feel, please, don't you think that Temmie would want you to get somewhere safe, too?"

Temmie...

The rage was overshadowed by the pain once again and she choked up.... The Temmie- Temmie's face. As their gaze had met- the pain, the attack ripping through him- His dust- Over her-

The pain-

Him or her- He wasn't supposed-

* * *

That idiot.

* * *

"You idiot-" She breathed painfully, and she can feel her resolve break, breaking as she herself breaks. Idiot. Idiot.... And reluctantly, she gives up, lets the despair take over, and helplessness. She has no control over this situation, never does- And she knows, that yes, they need to flee. Need to escape.... MERCY.

[Flee]

Flee....

Warm arms were wrapping around Frisk and Chara- A hand was on the back of Chara's head but she feels too lost to really be there in the half embrace-

"Thank you.." The River Person said gently.

Thank you... But Chara just-

The anger.

"Don't touch me." Chara snapped lowly as she pulled back, pulling and Frisk out of his embrace as she half snarled, the darkness inside her discontent and the sensibility of the escape the only thing.... And yet how she resents it, resents him in that moment. Resents everyone, except Frisk, but he never ever counts as everyone.. Resents- The anger and pain- "Just get us out of here."

* * *

Chara finally managed to stand up, and Frisk seemed torn to follow. Torn between coming with her to work out breakfast. Torn between staying there with The River Person. And in the end he seems to chose somewhere half way. Standing and meandering aimlessly as Chara maks her way to the apple trees, to get them a handful of the few that remain.... All of it in shouting distance, a few seconds mad dash. Not willing to be too far from one another once again...

* * *

Chara and Frisk were curled up against each other at the side of the boat as The River Person pushed them through the water.. And Frisk continued to cry... And Chara does too but she tries to keep it reigned in, the anger a counterpoint to it as she glares Mason down, her grip around Frisk tight... Even as the occasional tear escapes down her face. And just-so bitter and angry and gritting her teeth- cry and drown in the pain at the same time. And Frisk was crying- she hates it, she hates it, she hates it! As they rush downstream-

* * *

Chara picked up one of the apples they had kept for themselves and she froze staring at it in her hand... The anger. She bit down forcefully on her bottom lip, the tears blurrying her vision as she grips it unmercifully tight with both hands, wanting to crush it-

* * *

As they approach the second tunnel, though, cries ring out on the shore, screams of people, injured and not, rushing to the water and the boat.... And there is the billowing of smoke across the distance.

* * *

All of this for some stupid apples. All of this because she just didn't want to face Perserverance as much as she could despite it being the safer route. All of this... These stupid apples. All of this... And in the end-

* * *

 

"Their picking people off coming out of the tunnels." Mason realized, and Chara's stomach tightened- because she hadn't even thought it as she and Frisk had rushed away- hadn't thought it and the only reason they hadn't run into the same fate was his stupid unmapped tunnel- They would be dead without his stupid tunnel. Without-

* * *

 

Temmie.... Chara can feel the soft vibe of his magic as her fingers press against the apple's red skin and her vision still blurrs.... All of this for a bunch of stupid apples and a bookbag full of Gold. All of this...

* * *

And Mason was right, it becoming obvious as more people got themselves onto the boat and repeated the same thing; barely getting out, barely managing a blast- No one mentions the others that they purposefully left behind- And The River Person frantically helping, reaching out to grab people into the boat, coming close to shore to get those who could not- Teleporting his way from shore to boat to shore- Collecting as many as he can... and as they got close to the tunnel, somebody screamed loudly, a piercing scream-

"Guards!" Chara's heart was racing and yet so was her intent as she looked over the side of the boat, the darkness and the anger and the Fight inside her chest. But also the fear she can't deny as she holds Frisk closer, so tightly..

The three Monsters are chasing after some poor Soul racing, trying to get to the boat- But Chara knew- he wasn't going to make it- and yet she can't take her eyes away- she's frozen- Smoke and haze through the trees, the man's calling voice to the boat, there is going to be blood and she can't look away in her frozen terror-

The River Person, though, acts quickly, relinquishing his grip on his oar and lifted a hand upwards, fire igniting high above their heads and showering down with burning intensity- the three Monsters cried out in genuine surprise as the fire ignited the ground at their feet and they jumped back, the human crashing into the water and swimming frantically towards the boat with the people reaching out across the water to help pull him in. Though Chara knows.... If their own safety had been at risk, they would have not lifted a finger-

Her fingers..... dust...

* * *

Her fingers... pressing against the apple and she just wants to throw it all away but she can't... The dust on her fingers... the apple humming with magic in her hand...

* * *

The boat slipped farther away, closer to the first tunnel beside the dumps, and yet.... As they got closer to the tunnel, reluctantly closer to the tunnel because Chara knew The River Person's goal was Perserverance- the safest, guarded place nearby-

But the dumps and the first tunnel- there is smoke, a tall, billowing black smoke as they reach nearby the first tunnel- And Chara expects another wave of frantic people.....

.......... But nobody came.

Nobody came....

Not a single, crying Soul..... Injured or otherwise-

Nobody came.

And nobody says a word, though eyes are glued to the shore- But after a certain point it is only in search for Monsters and to be on guard.

And nobody says a word as the boat, overwhelming with people, moves forward, closer and closer to Perserverance, and as the feeling of immediate danger eases, people start to get off- escaping into the trees. Just slipping away..... And Chara doesn't notice when, but Mason is gone too... Slipped out as she stayed close to Frisk, curled up in on herself...

staring at the dust on her hands.. She can't bare to wipe it off, to clean herself in anyway...

All she can do is rest her head against Frisk, staring at her hand.... rubbing her fingers together slowly, absently... As the immediate danger eases and her mind can return to the pain more fully, the pain and she is lost and she just stares- Her fingers-

It doesn't feel like Monster dust... It doesn't... Not like before.. He can't be... Yet he wasn't a Monster- But he can't be- he said- He said he didn't care. He couldn't care. Feel the warmth of it... He couldn't... All the good little things. He couldn't care. She wasn't supposed to.... He wasn't supposed to.

Him or her....

He wasn't supposed to.. She wasn't... There was no hard feelings- There was-

He wasn't supposed to....

She wasn't supposed to...

* * *

 

"We weren't supposed to care." Chara spoke to the apple, soft and tight and she just- ! "You weren't supposed to fucking care."

She'd left him behind, Temmie behind- Saying he would be fine though she couldn't know for sure. But him or Frisk- Frisk. She'd chosen Frisk. And Temmie had.....

How could you meet someone... trying to kill them... How could it end... the other way around...?

The end....

End.

The pain was rising up more intensely through her again and she verged on crying again.

End.

He was gone. Gone, he was dead-

He's gone....

He's actually, really, gone.

No.

"You idiot." She breathed in anger.

That idiot!

That idiot.....

* * *

The wall of Perserverance is obvious in the distance and Chara can't help but glare that way too, bitter and anger and her teeth clenched as she glares at it. Glares and resents this is where she ended up anyways. All that about Bravery to avoid here and she is there again. The River Person was helping several injured people off of the boat, helping to hand them off, and she catches him, refusing several people entrance onto the boat... the danger of the journey west apparent and she grits her teeth, waiting for him to come back to her. Waiting for him to tell her the same. To stay. As the boat empties and it is just her and Frisk but she refuses to move........ She can't.... Though it is wrapped up in the anger and she near brissles confrontationally as he gets back onto the boat.

But he doesn't say a thing to her. Doesn't tell her to get off. He simply sets the boat back westward, upstream. And does not say a word, and neither does she to him. And Frisk..... Nothing.

As the boat moves against the current and when they are a reasonable distance away, The River Person surprises her by bending down. She tenses, prepared to face his kindness as she glares, as she doesn't want to hear it, any of it- But still he says nothing. Does not even look at her as he sets a palm against the baot that was starting to slow, to want to move backwards with the water's current. But as it moved backwards, the world blipped and there was a.. peculiar, pulling sensation around the entire boat- and the entire world around it cast in twilight changed- An entirely different location entirely.

Another seeming teleport.

The River Person let out a loud, pained breath, his entire stance falling exhaustedly as he lowered his head for a moment.

Frisk lifted his head, the concern obvious in his tense body against her and Chara herself is frozen- knowing- he should not have done that. And for all her anger, the fear suddenly takes over all as The River Person manages to stand back up and push the boat forward against the water.

But he should not have done that.

* * *

Chara knows she should not have thrown the apple against the tree, the scream loud and piercing.. Because she can hear Frisk's frantic concerned dash through the trees, him coming to a spot behind her. And she knows she shouldn't have done it, thrown it or screamed and worried him, but she is just so.... She just....

Frisk came quietly closer, standing beside her. He looked down at the apples and she can tell when the thought enters his head too.

Temmie...

He bent down, a hand reaching out and touching the apples gently but.. he doesn't take any either. Just stands back up. Stands with his head down beside her in the shade of the apple tree...

* * *

They were back in clearly familiar area, even as the shadows grow long and the sky dark...

Home...

The closests place Chara has ever felt to home....

But Chara feels nothing but pain.... As The River Person pulls up along the shore, the sounds of the cicadas screaming all around them as he drove his trident against the ground and rested against it for a moment....

There is no way he is making it back to the city... not without rest... But Chara doesn't know what to say, what is best...

"May I.. stay here with you for the night." The River Person asked and Chara is relieved that she doesn't have to suggest it herself... "I know you are angry with me, but I...."

Chara and Frisk stood up though Chara isn't sure which on initiated the action, but Frisk is the one to lift out his hand needily. The River Person clasped it, but still... Frisk doesn't say _anything_...

"Is that...?" The River Person begins to ask. Reluctantly, Chara nods before she looks down at her feet. He can stay.... She wants him to stay, she always wants him to stay, but even still there is some sense of anger, bitterness... But she knows that while she is angry, these feelings, she knows that she isn't actually angry at him even if she feels like she is. That it is not fair to be angry with him. She does not want to be...

She's just angry.

And at the same time...

Empty....

Empty.

* * *

Empty...

"Please..." Chara whispers though... "Say something."

He's scaring her. She doesn't have a clue as to what he is thinking.....

But he can't say anything. She can feel him tense, his mouth opens, but it just closes again. He gives up and his head just falls again. Chara closed her eyes...

"I'm not hungry." She tells him as she opens her eyes. Frisk shook his head. They stand there for another silent moment, staring at the apples.

Empty.

* * *

Empty as The River Person pulls the boat onto shore. Empty as they help him hide it, poorly help him but they try, manage. Empty as they make it back to camp. Empty as they stand there and The River Person manages to light small fire, enough to cast a warm light... But its empty. The River Person is finally there with them, they are finally home and in the safest place they could hope to be.... and yet.... empty.... Empty. Exhausted and empty.... As The River Person settles down against the tree beside them and lets out a heavy, exhausted sigh... And the two children never separate for a second as they settle down beneath the blanket and Chara finds herself staring up at the branches of the tree, feeling keenly the empty void on the mattress beside them.

Empty, and as she closes her eyes, forces herself to try....

But knowing its just going to be the same in the morning.

* * *

And it is just the same in the morning, as they make their way back to the mattress. The River Person hasn't moved. Still dead asleep.

And he doesn't move. For hours. And Chara is starting to more than worry. The emptiness being filled out by the fear. Fear and guilt. As she can't tell herself for certain that he will wake up. But she can't. There is only the fear as she and Frisk watch him. And she can't Check him with the hood, she knows she can't even though she tries anyways. Whatever magic the hood is, she can't Check him properly, can't tell his true form, and she doesn't know what to do. Whether she should put it down, if she even can or if its magic won't let her. And even if she did, did Check him, what could she do next? What else is there? What can she do? She can do nothing- nothing again- And she made him think she was angry at him specifically, that she was angry- And the sun is getting higher and the shadows shorter- And he needs to wake up-

And when The River Person does finally groans, tilts his head back onto to his something- she doesn't think it is his head but she doesn't know what it could be underneath the hood- against the tree and he hisses him pain again as he lifts his hand... And when he finally does wake up, both Frisk and Chara are very obviously close and staring, their hearts racing....

"Oh..." The River Person realizes... "How long was I...?" He looked up towards the sky... It isn't quite noon, but the hours have passed and Chara's mind has extended them double for each one. And eternity as the fear filled out the emptiness. "My apologies, I'm alright, I promise..."

He lifted his hands out assuringly as Frisk very obviously tried not to cry again.

"I'm alright, I just wore myself-" Frisk was hugging him as Chara stood with her hands at her side and she looked down towards The River Person's... where his feet would be beneath the cloak. "I'm alright, Frisk."

But he does sound like he could use another few hours of sleep... But he stays, holding Frisk close. The boy's sniffles settled down slowly... And as the fear left Chara, the emptiness came back, her shoulders slacking, as she kept the directionless anger at bay...

"Chara..." The River Person tries after a few minutes... "You're both still covered...." He trails off as her fingers clench. The tears were working their tretcherous way into her vision. As the pain leeches through her.

Dust...

His dust...

And she does not want to let him go. If she does...

"Thank you.." She says instead. "Thank you for coming after us at the tunnel... I should have listened to you." Her voice broke and she bit down. But she has to say these things, all the things filling her now, and the risk that she might not be able to say it eventually- There is so many things she didn't say. So many things... She wasn't supposed to say.. She couldn't afford- but this pain- "Thank you for coming, and I'm sorry I made it all so difficult and I...."

"Chara..." He was reaching out his hand and the anger inside Chara's chest...

"Why do you always do that?!" She demanded, closing her eyes tightly. And he does it... to everyone. And she feels so angry and she doesn't know why, and there are just too many emotions and she wants to go back to being empty again. But she just.....

Chara was bending forward in pain.

"He wasn't supposed to." She cried. "He wasn't supposed to do that. He.. Temmie." She sobbed. "We were trapped, I couldn't protect us! And he.. he got in the way. He died for me. He died, he's dead!" She was keeping her hands, arms, close to her chest.. He's gone and this time there is no calling him back. He's really gone this time. He's gone and part of it is her... No matter what she says, a part of it is her fault... She's the one who pushed going.. The one who... "I should have listened to you. We should have left right away. I shouldn't have.."

"Chara...."

"He's gone!"

"Chara.. come here, please.."

Reluctantly Chara came forward, letting him take her dust covered hands...

"temmie really cared about you, Chara. You and Frisk. You could see it in how you interacted, and this last act... He would not want you to blame yourself. It is not your fault." He looked down towards Frisk. "This is not your fault."

Frisk looked on the verge of crying again... His mouth opened, as if to blame himself. And Chara's heart breaks as it hits her- The puzzle.. blaiming himself for not being able to open the puzzle faster...

"This. Is not. Your faults." The River Person repeated.

"But he's still gone..." Chara breathed.. The River Person gripped her hand tighter.

"Yes. He's gone." He admitted. "I'm sorry...." Chara just.... The River Person can see it on her face, the pain. "Do you know... how Monster funerals work?" The River Person asks. Chara shook her head and Frisk just watched with a hazed expression. The River Person took his hand and held their hands close together. "When a Monster dies... we take the dust and spread it on something that meant something to that person. In many cases, their favorite thing. That way.. the idea is that the person we've lost will live on in that thing......."

His dust...

"But it is more than that, or the dust. Monster bodies are closely linked to our Souls, not like Humans where body and Soul are easily separated and able to exist on their own.. It isn't about the dust. It is how a person felt. And he was a temmie, but I think that idea still stands. He cared about you both enough to protect you even at his own expense.. He loved you. And that is always going to be with you, even when the dust is gone."

Love....

The pain in Chara's chest.

He wasn't supposed to.. She wasn't supposed to...

Idiot. Idiot, that idiot...

"Now I know... you are hurt. You don't want it to be real. But you have to take into account what the person you loved would have wanted. And they would want you to Act. They would want you to keep going. And that doesn't mean you can't cry. Can't let yourself hurt. You don't have to ignore the pain. But it means you have to not let it stop you....Even if.. Even if it does at first, you have to be willing to pick yourself back up. I.... I didn't do that at first. There was.. too much. I Fell Down. And the only reason I woke up was because I thought I heard my son calling my name. Or sometimes I think it was my wife.. I was not strong like the two of you have been, but I try my best now. Because I know this is what they would want. My son died trying to help people. Humans and Monsters. And I keep going, trying to do the same. And meeting the two of you... I see the same hope in your eyes. And I am certain temmie did too. And I am certain that temmie would not want you to lose that. Would not want you to give up."

Chara-

"Please," The River Person continued. "You are allowed to hurt, but please, let us get the two of you cleaned up. Something for each of us to eat... You may even feel better. Even if not a lot and it may never be entirely better... but please..."

She wants to say no. No, she isn't ready. She's never going to be ready.....

But they are at the river... Compassion flowing by, at the same place Frisk and Temmie had played, where the four of them had skipped rocks... Where The River Person helps them wash themselves off. Where Chara lets the water flow over her fingers and bit by bit Temmie's gone... And her vision blurrs. And he's gone... And yet it still remains. Like the blood and the dust before- soaked into her mind.

Blood and dust...

Frisk getting in her way... And even still....

She's washing off his dust from her hands anyways.. From her hands, her face.... As she continues to try not to cry anymore, as she tries her best- but Frisk... Softly, she hears his voice, so, so softly...

"Thank you.." Chara turned towards him. "Thank you for being my friend." He sniffled. "Thank you for coming out here. Thank y-you, and...." His face cringed in serious pain as he began to break completely into tears- "I'm sorry." Chara couldn't hold back the tears anymore as she rushed to hug him again.

And when they were done, they sat on the shore with The River Person... And even when Chara asked, won't someone worry? He simply whispered that maybe she deserved to worry. And the day passed in haze.... in pain... and Chara notes that. She doesn't feel better.

There was too many things to say and she didn't get to say. She wants to say...... She's never going to get to say.....

And as The River Person eventually leaves, has to leave... others to look into, places he needs to be- though he does not say home, she realizes...- And he promises to come back as soon as he can, that he will try and find their tarp they left behind. And at the last moment remembers the bookbag he had taken from her when she had tried to throw it overboard in her anger... And reluctantly he goes.... And the camp is empty. Even more empty....

And Chara knows, they can get another month or two out here, but she knows that they really can't. It's never not going to be filled with anything but ghosts.

Because as the next morning progresses, her and Frisk making the rounds for her snares- they don't say it, but there is nothing but memory and emptiness.... Nothing but aching, empty pain... And by the time The River Person does in fact come back, tarp in hand, Chara has already decided. The moment they have their heads in well enough order, a week, maybe a week and a half. When the chaos of the raid settles down both with them and the now restless valley.... They'll move... Once everything settles.... they'll move.

And maybe then they can really try to move on... Even if they can't forget... Even if Chara still does not know what to do with him, even in death. Except wish....

As she acknowledges with each passing pain, all the things she wished she had said, had acknowledge. As she takes each thing she thinks and collects them in a list..... As she threads her strings together under the apple tree, Temmie's ghost beside her, even as Frisk lays on the ground at her feet staring up at the sky though it looks like it is going to rain, and even if not here, it will somewhere else.....

And Frisk hums softly. A soft little tune that sounds familiar but Chara can't place it, maybe he has hummed it before.... the sound soft, and slow, and sad.... But despite that a warm welcome in his continued, lingering silence.

She wants to know what he is thinking.... Wants there to never be any other unsaid things ever again. But she can't... He can't... She just can't... She is still going through the other unsaid things. And she supposes, that's just who she is... There will always be unsaid things.

And that's... just the way it goes.

That's just the way it goes.

All things must die..

That's just the way it goes.....

LOVE and love.... That's just the way it goes...

........ She..

But the next day still comes, and the things were still unsaid. Were always going to be unsaid. As she makes breakfast. Checks her snares, and Frisk walks with her.... The two of them. Just the two of them- And they make their way back to the apple tree, like some gravitating force... Wanting to do nothing else but stay there together, despite Chara's torn feelings- wanting to tear it all down... And yet, she stays there... wanting something to happen. Wanting him to still come back...

Even as she knows he can't.

But her fingers curl into the ground and she wishes, softly to herself.

And the next day, starts out just the same. The same emptiness, the same ghosts.... And yet, reluctanly they try to let each other go their own ways a bit. To ease their grip on the string that keeps them close. As Chara checks the snares alone though she regrets it, wishes not to do it and next time she will ask Frisk again... And she lets Frisk go get apples by himself, though he comes back with none, just the sight of his empty hands Chara realizes that neiher of them are ever going to be able to use them and she doesn't know what- But then she sees his face and she is on high alert, already reaching for the spare blade she keeps by the bed though the grip of the handle is not as near comfortable as the dagger had been and she is always afraid to cut herself... But his face...

"Somebody's watching." Frisk whispered. Chara's heart skips in fear.

"What..?" She whispered softly.

"Somebody, just out of sight..." He whispered back. "I thought... when I was alone this morning.. when you were going to the snares. But I thought that was just me being afraid... but when I went over there, I heard them, and I-" He ran. "Somebody is watching us."

Chara stood up, standing close to Frisk as they both looked towards the trees...

"Did you feel anything?"

"I couldn't Check well enough." Frisk told her. They stood there tensely together....

"A-Alright! We know you're there!" Chara called. She stopped, trying to calm herself so this his time able to sound more confident. More firm and authoritative. "If you know what's best you'll come out and confront us right out instead of like a coward!!"

There was no response, not a sound... But still. The anger in Chara's chest was intense again, rising up through her. But then... there was a snapping sound to the left and Chara turned her head, snarling in the general direction though nobody appears. The fear was edging its way into her....

But she forces the anger forward again.

"We just came out of Bravery, so don't **fuck** with us!"

But she doesn't know if that is a threat about who they were, what type of people, but who looking at them could really be intimidated... From her, in her voice, it sounds more like a plea despite the anger.. Like the little kid she really is.. She's just had a horrible experience, she doesn't need another, is what her Soul says, what she really feels. Even as her voice and stance do not.....

This place has just been filled with too many ghosts and pain and she doesn't need something else too, and she is just tired. So tire. Of the universe's games and she just-

" **GET OUT!** " She orders. Either out of the trees or out of here-! Just get out! There was a pause, as she stared...

And out of the brush, hunched over on himself, his cat ears pressed back against his head, his black eyes on her, the fear in his expression- a ghost made real in front of her and Chara loses her breath.

"..T-Temmie....?" Frisk finally manages-

No. No, it can't be, it can't- His dust-

It's another Temmie, he had said there were many though not as much anymore. He'd said- This.. They were not their Temmie- But when The Temmie speaks-

"I..." Chara's already red eyes widened even more and he caught that as he continued fast. "I can explain!"

Explain....

"I-! I know you're confused and I- I should have told you b-before, but.. But I can explain-! I just-"

"Temmie!" Frisk accepted, taking a step forward. And Chara- Chara grabbed his arm forcefully. Her grip tight and the blade out in front of her as she pulls Frisk back.

It's fire. It's fire, fire, and she cannot let him put his hand in it this time no matter how much she wants to be wrong and for him to be right. It's fire. It's too good to be true- Too good, and she has just learned her lesson in things like that. Too good and everything she wanted and that is not how it works. It's a trick- Some cruel Monster who could change its shape based on their memories, and it is a cruel, sick, disgusting trick! And it is not real! And it is not fair that it isn't real! As she kept her trembling hand outstretched and Frisk's arm gripped mercilessly tight.

And Frisk gave in to her pull, but stayed just a step in front of her. Torn. So clearly torn and pained and hoping and yet giving in to her reason.. The boy who tells himself he hopes his mother is alive just so she has the chance to come back- even he can't do that with Temmie- His dust. Dust. His dust on their fingers. Dusting right in front of them.

"I.. I can explain.." Temmie begged again. "I can.. but... Fr-Frisk..." But the way he is focusing on Chara, Chara knows it is mostly for her- "Ch-Chara... Chara, please... Please..." He sounds on the verge of tears, looks it too, but Chara... "I should have told you before, b-before something h-happned, and I.. I was going to b-but... If I did, then I would have had to.. had to explain... and... I.. I can, but you're.. you're not going to like it, but... but please... Please just.. just hear me out all the way before you.. before you react, please.. I..." But Chara-!

"He's dead." Chara choked. "You **_died_**."

He's dead. He's gone. No matter how much she didn't want it.

"I... I know.. I know I did, b-but.. I should have told you before, but I-!"

He really is that afraid, he is so clearly afraid-

"Temmie.." Frisk tried, but he isn't just on the verge of tears, he's just crying but somehow he is the only one who can talk more than just in circles. "We promise to listen, y-you just have to explain, just start, wh-whatever it is... We'll listen, you just have to.."

Please, just give her one good reason not to kill him. Not to have to kill him. Make it real, the impossible real because the alternative is a new type of cruel even for the universe that hates them...

But despite Frisk's words, Temmie- The Temmie- or whatever it is- Is looking at Chara brokenly...

"Please..." He whispered... "Just let me explain...."

"Then explain!" She cried. Temmie cringed, he doesn't want to even though he asked to... Maybe he doesn't even know how to start. Where....

"The... The word, TEMMIE, it's... It's actually an acronym.. A word made up of the initials of other words.."

"And TEMMIE?" Frisk asked.

"It's... It's the names of the... The 6 human souls." That's... "The ones The Queen... "

Chara's heart skipped and she gripped the blade tighter, the thin hilt digging into her hand.

"Please..." Temmie begged, seeing her react. "Chara, please... She and the Souls- they created the TEMMIEs, they were supposed to be houses for Souls but they were just fragments in the end, she couldn't save them. Save anyone! They just house the traits and nothing else and each one reflects one of the human Souls, but then..... Then there is me... I'm not... I'm not even.. I'm not even an actual... Please.. Please, Chara.. I should have told you.. but she.. she gave me an ability to protect me and in the end it just- I can't die! No matter how many times I try! I can't stay dead! I have no Soul, and I can't stay dead! Before! Before it would just rewind time back to a certain point. I'd have to relive it over, and I could do it at will if I really wanted- and I did! But then... Since.... I just come back now.. I just.. a day later, I just..."

He breathed out a broken laugh, the pain very clear in his face as he sees she won't lower the blade and she just finds it harder and harder not to cry and harder to listen- look at him-

"Chara... Chara please..." He begged. "Please... I should have told you.. I just... please..."

But she just... It doesn't make sense.. She knows it. That pain. That feeling of grief. That wish to bring someone back. The Queen and what Chara knows.

"If she could.." Chara started tightly. "If she could really do that, she would have done it to her son."

The pain on Temmie's face...

"She... She did. That's who I'm supposed.."

Chara-

She let go of Frisk's arm and immediately the boy was rushing forward to hug Temmie, holding him close as he continued to cry. But Temmie, he only buried his face against Frisk for a moment. An intensely, relieved moment.. And Chara turned around, lifting the back of her hand to her mouth.

There was several moments as Frisk and Temmie held on, but eventually, the fear pulled Temmie back out and Chara knows he is looking at her, at the back of her head...

"Chara..." He said tearfully, and she can hear Frisk letting go, however reluctantly. "Chara, please..." Temmie said coming closer again. "Please... I know what she wants me to be, but I just.. I just know.. Please, Chara... I don't want to say goodbye to somebody like you and Frisk again, I don't want to be alone again!.. Please, pl-please... I don't.. I don't know what I am, I-"

Chara was turning quickly, the blade thrown violently to the ground before she reached out her arms and wrapped them around Temmie in a tight hug as she knelt on the ground and she broke as she let her say the one unsaid thing she had wanted to so badly-

"You idiot..." She said tightly. "It doesn't matter what you are, it doesn't matter.... Only that you're my friend. You're my best friend, and I'd thought.. I thought you were dead!" She buried her face into his fur. "You're my best friend and I thought you were dead."

She thought he was dead......

And as Frisk frantically rejoins the group, Chara squeezes even tighter, not wanting to let go as Temmie cries, and it is going to be the last time she sees him cry until they got to the worst day of her life.

Because she was right about the universe it seemed- It hated her though she could not say why... Giving her this one good thing she thought she couldn't lose. That not even death could take from her... And it had just found a way to work around it.

* * *

 

_But him or Frisk.. Him or Frisk... She had thought it couldn't matter anymore, and yet still, the universe..._

_His dust on her hand, her gloved hand, a piercing scream as she pulled it close.... As she did the worst thing she could possibly do to him, the worst thing he had begged her not to do- Leave him alone....._

* * *

 

"A temmie?" Papyrus asked as she kept her hands working against the coolness of the pillow, and she just can't look him in the face.


	68. Bullies....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You feel your sins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Anakin gif* You underestimate my power!  
> *gets remaining limbs cut off and set aflame*

_How can the world change so completely in an instant? So completely and nothing makes sense and the more you try to make sense of it, it just keeps falling apart. You understand nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing but the pain of it-_

_Her scream piercing- Magic flowing through her- light blue spears spring up around her as her own Soul went green- The overpowering sensation of LOVE-_

The pain and anger is the only thing Undyne has that makes sense. Pain, anger, the desire to protect and to guard no matter the costs... to make up for the time that she hadn't. The passion was there, and yet.... And yet....

Undyne doesn't know what to do with it all.

The ground beneath Undyne's feet, there was no stable place to stand it felt like... Even as the solid, paved path stretched out before her and the water of the river Compassion shimmered in the sun as she walked alone in the park- the Crystal Palace towering in the distance.

She had curled fingers against her lips, her other arm wrapped around her, just below her chest. She can feel the letter in her coat pocket. The letter- The General's official seal-

He had handed to her with two hands. Already written, signed, and sealed.

"You come back in two days."

Just like that. No other discussion needed. Just offering her the letter addressed to the head of the group home in his hands, and a smile... Overly eager to collect her into his group, overly confident that she would. She doesn't like it. The entire certain feel to it.

He knew she would do the just thing, he had said.

Justice...

It is what she had wanted, coming to the castle...

Justice though she felt lost and uncertain now, even more so than when she had fled the castle two weeks ago...

Now...

All he said, could not be true. And yet he had said it with such certainty and conviction and hatred....

Undyne had been angry with The Queen before. Angry and confused, but now...

The entire understanding of her world is shattered again and Undyne doesn't know. It's-

Time going back and forth... Forgotten, lost, unnamed pasts... All of it, Humans and Monsters... And yet... The Queen. Undyne hadn't trusted her, had lashed out, angry about the situation, but now...... It's too bizarre. It can't be true. If it is true.... It's **unforgivable**.

Unforgivable as the solution had been directly in her grasp. To stop the conflict right at the start. Cut the humans off, destroy them all and save countless lives. And instead! It cannot be true.

But The General had meant it. It is too insane to be a lie. He had no reason to lie.

But all of it... Even half of what he has told her and he hasn't even told her everything. Not even the very basics of everything... Which was expected, there being so much to tell and she can barely handle this much at one time.

But at the same time... The tone of all he had said... there was an intentionality to it. Things withheld from her in a way... that was intentional. Strange, limited... even at the most basic level.. Intentional. Just enough to make it feel like she was getting answers but at the same time.. leaving with more questions than she had when coming.

A bait and lure to pull her back to the castle again and again...

She felt like there was a simpler way to explain things to her, something more direct and honest. That was it. It hadn't felt honest. He meant it. It had to be true because he had no reason to lie, and yet... Slanted.

Undyne sat down by the shore of the river...

The entire world looks so normal in the sunlight but Undyne still feels so lost and confused and pulled apart... But it looks normal when it had no right to be.. Like the castle had as she had walked in it. As the office had as he had told her things that just didn't make sense. Couldn't make sense...

And Undyne sat on the side of the river, letting the world pass her by as she finally buried her face against her knees. There's too much and yet not enough... She wishes she could just remember. Remember like The General so obviously did. In the way he talked about her- he knows her. Who else remembered? Who else knew? The King? He hadn't seemed to remember her except for as a child. Though he had stood between her and The General with intense resolve... To get his way, to keep her out of it. But that had seemed more about his distrust of The General than any sort of memory... But maybe that is her hopeful thinking that she could at least still trust him unlike The Queen....

The King....

Undyne lifted her head a moment, looking out across the water... Remembering... Coming here and meeting him as a child. Back then when he used to give rides more frequently. The King... She hadn't listened to him or him to her, but she could tell that he had cared, that was something she couldn't tell with The Queen. The King cared. Cared about Monsters, though he regretted the conflict and the war, but at least he wasn't actively cutting it off... She wishes she could talk to him, she realizes. It is a drastic shift from before. She wishes she could talk to The King, get another side to it all so she can try to make sense of it.

All The General had said specifically about The King when she had asked after him, it had been a simple-

"We have an agreement."

Though she isn't sure who it is between or what it is about... She assumes it is with The King. She assumes it is about The General's work. Though she can't be exactly sure. Maybe she's wrong... Maybe it is a reluctant agreement between The General and Queen... But maybe she is wrong.. She doesn't know!

Everything she knows is wrong.

Everything that has been told to her....

Undyne buried her face again..

And people passed her by on the path, no one taking any notice of the stripeless girl in the reeds, their laughter and the world normal about them....

"Sis troubles." A high pitched though sombered voice said beside her- Undyne lifted her head quickly in surprise, she can feel now that her eyes are open that she had been starting to cry. She clears them away quickly as she glares that the little cat-dog Monster beside her, a few feet away.

"You."

The green eyes blinked at her.

"Yez. Mes. temmIe."

Undyne snarled.

"I don't know what your idea is coming over here, but you better get **out** of here if you know what's **good** for you." The little thing didn't seem all that afraid though by her threat, only worried.

"But nots goodz for yous. She says, nots comes backs, buts you comes backs."

"So she sent you again to try to talk to me, well get the fuck lost."

"Nos... Nos, she nos sendz mes. She says stays ways. Says yous nots listens."

"What is there to listen to?! That she betrayed everyone she was supposed to protect?! That she-" Undyne dropped her head lower, lowering her voice but not the intensity. "Just get the fuck away from me, all of you. Stay away."

"Nos..." The temmIe stated. Undyne turned her head away. "Nos, yous needs kindness and Temmie sayz befos yous needs patience. Why wes da ones to comes befores..."

"Right, and where is your little friend with the blue eyes? Has enough sense to listen to your queen." They didn't answer and when she glanced back, it was looking down very sadly.

"temmIe friend Temmie not makes its." temmIe admitted and Undyne paused at that... "But tolds temmIe, patience. Musts keepz patience. And I's stay kindness and be patience for friend Temmie and for Sis."

Undyne faltered at that... At the death of the Temmie. And yet at the same time.. Its a war.. But the reality of it... temmIe was crying now.

"Sis, pweas nots goes with bad greys mens." They begged her. "Pweas not goes backs to hims. Nots wants yous to be losts."

Lost... She is already lost now. Lost and confused and the only one who was going to give her answers..... Undyne's fingers curled together tightly.

Lost.... It's meaning for temmIe, she knows that they mean they do not want her to be the enemy. The Queen telling them to avoid her meant The Queen had already seen the truth of it. What side Undyne would truly be on.

"All you care about is Humans." Undyne said lowly. The Queen and her little soldiers, protecting **humanity**.

"Nos, nos, pweas, she wants to helps, she helps you toos."

"Shut up!" Undyne said, standing up tall, her fists still clenched. "I'm not going to listen! She didn't listen to me!"

"But shes-"

"NO!" Undyne cut off. "No I don't want to hear it! The only thing I want to know is this....." The grip Undyne had, painful... "Is it true?" She demanded. "True that she gave one of you that power? The Resets?"

"... Yes. Brother. Though temmie iz nots TEM-"

 **"Shut up."** Undyne seethed, lowly. "Shut up... I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone."

The anger was hot in her chest. It was true. Really true. One of them was purposefully keeping humanity alive. Helped get her family killed.

"Get away from me." Undyne demanded.

"But Sis hurts!"

"LIKE ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY CARE!" Undyne shouted at it, and she is lucky there is no one close enough again to notice and for it to matter. But she just feels so lost and.... hurt. "Whose fault is that to begin with?!"

There were tears in temmIe's green eyes and Undyne was taken aback again, but the anger... it remained there. And yet, temmIe still begged.

"Pweas nots goes withs hims. Hurts mores if dos. Not heals. Not goods fo yous." Undyne shook her head.

"And whoever said it had anything to do with me." She demanded, and she turned around, storming away. It didn't matter about her. Anything about her.

And The Queen. Her and the TEMMIEs and just-! Standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! She is no queen. She is nothing but a remorseless traitor. Protecting remorseless creatures that didn't deserve it. Humans. Attacking anyone in their path. Not because they had to but because it was easy for them. Because it was fun for them. Laughing as they had encircled around Undyne. Laughing as Undyne had called out for help. Anyone. The Queen or anyone. The power flooding through her, from deep within herself. The green shield. All of it... The up flowing power of LOVE as she had screamed. And for what.... she was alone. Everyone she loved.... killed because the whims of a select group of humans.

And Undyne.... It wasn't about her. Nothing was about her. Only about the people she had failed to protect and the people there in her life that remained.....

And damn The Queen. Damn Humanity. Damn the temmie that kept them all stuck like this. She was lost and angry and confused but that she knew. Damn them. Damn them and everything they had made her lose. Worse than being passive bystanders but now even worse as active participants and damn them.

And she can't go directly back to the home. She has to find a place to settle down alone again, and cry a bit to herself before she can get the anger and darkness inside her chest back under control.

But it is low and serious inside her as she clenched her fists.

Damn them....

Did they think it fun to play games with other people's lives...?

* * *

 

 _There are several bullies in the group home..._ Everyone may have their rough edges of course, but these select few were the worse and most of it was all a game to them....

Everyone knows Jerry.

Jerry was the ass of the group home and everybody knew it.

Nobody liked Jerry.

Everyone ditched Jerry at every chance they got, he was just toxic to be around and life was hard enough. And yet somehow, he was always there. Always causing troubles. That guy that everybody hates.

He is honestly disgusting. He'll eat powdery food and lick his hands loudly, sneeze without covering his nose, yawn loudly, rudely, he's just a giant head with lanky arms and swollen lips and yet is at his core just an ass. And he'll butt in to any Fight he isn't even a part of. And if you try to do anything yourself, he clings to you like a leech. And if you ditch him, some friend YOU are, and not the other way around. Though nobody would have called him a friend to begin with.

Sans hates him. But he is mostly just like gum on your shoe. As long as you ignore him, he's harmless except for the occasional swiped item or sabotaged chore. He couldn't keep a secret worth a damn..

Jerry is a harmless annoyance but his constant abuse and pressure on Papyrus puts him on the top of Sans' list right after two other names that actually mean something. And the one right on top is the Migosp named Mimi.

It wasn't the most creative name, Sans thought, but it summed up her personality enough. Everything was about her. And she kept her little group of bullies close- The Astigmatism called Brute that also deserved the name, and a Frogget everyone referred to as the 'Final' Frogget because once there the home had been filled with them but this was the last to finally age out. Final Frogget was right bellow Jerry on his hate list for the simple fact that half the time it didn't even know what was going on and was just doing what its friends were doing- it was too stupid to hate like the other two. Though Sans did in fact still hate it....

But Mimi... Mimi, the insect of a Monster that, while older than him, an entire stripe above him like Undyne, she only comes up to his chest and her white beady eyes are piercing though she can't help but fidget. She's got nothing on Undyne in terms of real power. In terms of being anything of merit, but that doesn't stop her from being the bitch that she is. Her power over the other two makes her impossible to truly beat. She wields her power like an unrelenting force over the other children- as long as Undyne isn't in the room after the day she had overheard her and Brute calling Papyrus an idiot and Free EXP...

Sans just hates her. Hates them. He's always Fighting them though it is never much of a Fight... He hates Mimi.... She loved to watch him teleport around the room, knowing that one misplaced attack with true Intent could end him... It's just.. That isn't their intent. Their intent is to play. To scare. To hurt him but not to kill. And Sans, no matter how much he wants to hurt can only deal 1 damage- Useless- Pathetic- How is he supposed to protect when he can barely protect himself- Can't separate them and get them one on one. Can't-

Sans hates her and her entire group. He hates them. Her and her underlings who just don't have a single thought of their own between them. Catering to her as they heed the swarm. She was like some kind of overmind to all of them and anything she said went. Even going so far to call her group of older kids Legion like some form of official power. Like it lends them any credibility- though he has to remember his own childish- Sans The Terror... But he was a bit older now... Older and smarter and more skilled... They are nothing but a bunch of bullies...

Forcing him to Flee time and time again. Pushing him to Fight and Act even when he doesn't want to. Even when he does, it is terribly imbalanced and he knew... Especially as Mimi has come to notice how easy it is to draw him to Fight. More and more as time goes on, though if he is honest it is his idea of practice. Because they can't actually hurt him if they don't want to become murderers.. It ties their hands just the slightest. But that doesn't stop them entirely. It just gives them something else to verbally attack him with. His 1 HP. His easy EXP. Free EXP......

And he is tired. Tired and angry... And it snaps something inside him the moment Undyne leaves and they are just at it again unrestrained. And it snaps something inside him... because this time he actually has something he can do about it. Something he and Papyrus have been working on for months.

And he doesn't have to sit by.. Not now. Not anymore. Not after this.

He doesn't have to just sit by and watch. He doesn't have to just take the risk to shortcut in and grab whoever their victim is and shortcut out. Though it is always funny in a way. To just walk, grab, and keep walking casually past. Blink and your gone and he can hear Mimi's frustration at her lost victim.

But he is tired of fleeing. Tired...

And now.

They don't have to be an inseparable force to be worked again. He doesn't have to play defensive...

And as Brute towers over the three-stripped child he was tormenting at Mimi's 'suggestion'- Sans' fingers lifted evenly out ahead of him. And his fingers clenched as if he was physically grabbing something unseen. And there was an intense rush of emotional power even if not physical.... as Brute's Soul turned a radiant color of blue.

"Wha-" The smiling mouth closed, opening again as the giant eye that it was. Large and wide in shock as it was yanked backwards and sent to the floor. And Sans appeared nonchalantly in front of the poor little Whimsun they had been terrorizing.

"Hey. Beautiful day outside, ain't it?" Brute was rolling back over and sat up, glaring its newly returned three little eyes. Mimi was snarling.

"Sans?" She warned. Brute stood up threatening at the challenge.

"You dare to defy me?" He demanded.

"You know what, yeah. Why not? You see I've got a few new tricks up my sleeve I've been meaning to try out. But maybe that doesn't hit the **_gravity_** of the situation you're about to put yourself in."

"Shudder, shudder." Murmured the 'Final' Frogget beside the others. It jumped ominously up and down staring at Sans in agitation as it could feel the hostile intent from Mimi and Brute and it knew those were its friends so that meant it should be hostile too..

Mimi's buggy eyes were narrow as her mouth fidgeted each way for a second before she spoke.

"Rather bold of you, isn't it, Free EXP?"

"You've pushed your luck." Brute agreed.

"No, I think you're the one pushing it picking on a little kid." Speaking of the kid, they were clinging to the back of his shirt with both hands. The little Whimsun in absolute tears.

"I'm sorry.." It whimpered. As if it was their fault... That just made Sans' smile even tighter and menacing. Mimi kept her hands close together, seeming unimpressed.

"So EXP here got a new technique and he is feeling brave it seems."

"Just seems ironic doesn't it that a skeleton's got more _guts_ and _heart_ than the three of you put together." Sans countered. Mimi snarled at him.

"You're a useless, powerless insect. Free EXP waiting to happen." He's heard it all before and it bounces off of him like nothing, or so he tells himself. But he can't tell himself that the moment she continues: "Just wait a few months until they decide to give you and Papyrus single stripped status. When the two of you have to move in with us! Better hope how you've made your bed, Sans." Mimi threatened. "You're little bitch of friend won't be able to stay if she keeps up her little disappearing act. You'll have no one to back you."

The lights in Sans' eyes have gone out entirely though the smile remains on his face...

"Did you just threaten my brother?"

Mimi doesn't take the hint, not caring.

"Please. You can make all the scary looking faces you want, it still doesn't matter that you're just pathetic, eventual Free EXP for somebody."

"heh... Free, huh?" He asked lowly.

"Brute. In unison, now." Mimi ordered. "We've gotta reteach bone-boy his lesson that just because he is a potential one hit wonder doesn't mean he can go about mouthing off. That we still can't make it hurt." Brute nodded in agreement. The Frogget didn't need an order, he wouldn't have understood it anyhow. Just following their lead was all that was needed- Mindless Act...

Sans didn't move and inch as the Whimsun fled, still in tears as the three other, older kids crawled up close, wanting to force a teleport from the two-stripped boy in front of them.

Sans just lowered his chin.

"heh."

He gave them exactly what they thought they wanted. The teleport. Shortcut. And he is right on the opposite end of the yard behind them as his power floods through him.

The older kids started what they thought was the chase, turning around and beginning to come back closer. To force another teleport. Again and again until he was exhausted, and he was always the one to get exhausted... No matter how much he trained... His 1 HP having that other draining affect and his prescription of tablet not having taken such efforts into account... Not meant for this.... He was always the one to get exhausted.

But no. Not this time. He wouldn't be the one forced to do anything this time. Not the one to get worn out. It would be over before he got worn out.

As he sent is bone bullet patterns across the yard. Frogget jumped and Mimi and Brute worked to keep the line together, covering each other in their assault. That format that kept him from doing what he wanted. Grabbing at least one of them- It only ever got him hit to try it...

But this time. He turned Frogget's Soul blue, forcing him out of formation and crashing down onto the array of bones as it didn't have the intelligence to adjust- to assess the problem and adjust its attack pattern. Sans took The Frogget right and then wildly left. Crashing down onto Brute who called out as they crashed down.

"Guys!" Mimi called but soon turned back to Sans snarling. When she should have stopped. Regrouped if she knew what was good for her. Don't separate if she knew what was good for her! But she didn't. She charged in head first. Underestimating...

They couldn't touch him. And now he didn't have to move at all. Because he could use them against each other like bullets with their Souls blue. Could hinder THEIR movements- This power... This power Papyrus had come to him with the idea for though he wasn't sure where he had seen it... But even so...

Mimi was still coming even though her team had been thrown back. But while she smiled, happy that she was about to get there, about to force another teleport. Sans stayed smiling. The lights in his eyes still gone except for the blue fire that was starting to spark in his left eye...

And Mimi got to him, calling out as she sent her bullet attack, and Sans did in fact teleport. But this time, he appeared right next to her. Her teammates not there to cover her, her teammates so far behind. And for the first time ever. She was alone.

He could use the blue, now, he supposed, but at the same... She was alone.

Alone and Sans had her by the arm. And he could do it. Do what he has always wanted but couldn't because she had never been alone. Always in unison, always impossible to split up from her group with his weak, almost benign attacks- Always-

Mimi gasped as he pulled the two of them through another shortcut- She screamed as they re-emerged in the air and he let go. Her little legs kicking as he watched her frantic beady eyes. And at the last moment, he grabbed her Soul again. Pulled her closer. Grabbed her. And teleported them to safety...... Well, safe for him.

They were on the roof overlooking the make-shift battlefield and he forced her body forward as his other hand kept her head forced down. Her Soul blue and head down over the side and she was starting to panic at her startling lack of control... As she screeched in panic and rage.

"LET GO YOU LITTLE- I'LL WRECK YOU!"

"Do you really want me to let go?" Sans asked, a dark whisper as he pushed her for a moment, for a moment she was over the side of the roof even farther and she shut her mouth tightly with a whimper.. Her breathing difficult- "That's what I thought...." Sans twisted her arm more forcefully as he spoke directly against her ear... **"You ever threaten my brother again and I swear you will more than regret it."**

She tried to squirm but quickly stopped as he leaned her more forward.

"You and your group... You're just a bunch of cowards that prey on the weak. Who think you can get away with it because nobody can fight back. But guess what. Your victims grow up. Your victims can learn to Fight back. And you just don't notice you are outmatched because you don't learn and you underestimate. Well guess **what**. Don't underestimate. Anyone. Especially **_me._** "

He let her stay like that for a bit longer and he could feel her starting to tear up.

"How does it feel to be helpless? Pathetic? Weak? Defenseless?"

"What do you want?" She whimpered.

Fucking coward, weak coward. Breaking the first moment she actually was faced with fear and pain.

"I want you... to eat dirt." She screamed as he let her go, falling... And at the last moment he caught her again, her Soul in her chest glowing blue as she can to a full stop above the ground. She was sobbing as he set her down forcefully though safely, against the ground. "Get dunked on..." He murmured to himself, and yet-

"SANS SKELETON!"

Sans couldn't even feel anything as the two main heads of house rushed out into the yard. Jerry right there trailing behind them....

Fucking tattletale........ Unable to stay out of anything.

But still, he couldn't feel anything like remorse or fear. Only a thrilling pride as he shortcut to the ground, standing right in front of the two heads and the Giant Head of a Dick Monster that was Jerry. And he kept his posture nonchalant.

"Yes?" He asked. As if Mimi wasn't sobbing on the ground, Brute and Frogget close to her, helping her get up.

And so when Undyne came back less than an hour later, ushered into the main office, she found Sans sitting across from The Legion with a bright smile.

"Oh hey. There ya are. Saved you a seat." Sans told her. Though he couldn't have had any real way to know she would have been coming and it was for show. "How's it going?"

Or maybe... not just for show. He seemed genuinely... Undyne sat down uneasy at how... genuinely happy he was. Not just keeping up a face for Papyrus- some sort of mask. He was... happy.

"Did I miss something?" She whispered. Sans looked across the room.

"I don't know. Did she miss something, Mimi?"

"You signing your death certificate." Mimi hissed. Her eyes, still red from crying, were quick and her hands so fidgety. Brute though, looked absolutely subdued. And Final Frogget.. well.... it didn't seem entirely certain why it and everybody else was there or what had happened despite it being there..... But it was glad to still be included..

And Undyne smiled softly. Not sure what was going on either. In either regard. The others in the office awaiting punishment or the sealed letter in her coat, or the world anymore in general, but she only felt reaffirmed seeing Sans actually smile and mean it... And just like the Frogget... kinda glad to be included.

The smile fell and she reached in for the letter, feeling it between her fingers.

And Sans sat there, for the first time in a long time, since he can actually remember. He didn't actually feel completely powerless... At the very least... it felt like a start...

Until finally. Finally...

* * *

 

 _Finally_....

No longer weak and pathetic and waiting for someone to come along and dust him... LOVE. Power. Strength. Finally, he could effectively give weight to his words and wants.

Finally...

All his hard work. Each newly acquired power. Each new thing he has done to build up to this moment. All since the first memory, the feeling of his own bones trying to turn into dust- And it was obvious who had done it.

Humans.

Just another type of bully but worse because that is their very nature.

And the Humans in the dumps were everything he knew they were, but it is a bit different seeing it up close. Each of them, ran. Ran and split and left each other behind. Cowards that separated making it easier for Sans to chose his target.

The fastest.

The fastest, leaving the weaker ones behind, thinking they were safer that way.

Maybe against others they were, but not Sans.

Sans could shortcut right in front of them, skewer them. Burn them. Toss them into the air and crash them down hard against the ground. All without even getting his hands dirty.

He was already halfway to LV 6.... Half a Level of Violence in a day and it still wasn't done though it was nearing an end....

"But we can come back. 3 days? Whaddya say?" Aaron asked with his usual wink, right after they had finished up yet another attack on a group of humans that had scattered. Sans hesitated but then smiled widely and nodded as he put another piece of tablet in his mouth to help him replenish-

What the hell? 3 days, It was a plan.

There was at least another hour of light left and they had to start looping back towards the girls but if they made a wide enough loop they could still find something....

And they do. A group of three that split in an instant. The other two, disappear behind a hill of trash and Sans can't find a place to shortcut ahead of them and reluctantly he takes sets his aim after the smaller, slower one. Though he tells himself its fine because they were trying to hide and that was even more cowardly- The one thinking it had gotten away from him as it had slipped around a corner, forcing Sans to leave Aaron behind to catch up with the pathetic, little thing- As it had tried quickly to find a place to hide but abandoned the thought as it booked it around another corner...

And it's cornered. It has nowhere else to go. It's put itself in a dead end and its head is staring upwards at the mounds of garbage blocking its way... Nowhere else to go, nobody to look back and care. It's going to die here and none of the others are going to care about it except be thankful it isn't them. Fucking awful, the whole lot. Nothing good in any of them. Picking on the weak and defenseless. Going after the most in need- Cowards. And when met with real power, none of them have the _guts_ to actual stand their ground and face it-

Sans lifted a hand, his blasters forming beside him as he smiled, as the blue fire blazed in his own eye- His blasters humming with power. Humming with intent and Karmic Retribution. And the human.. The human gasps as it turned around, wide green eyes, the emerging yellow Soul- pure terror and the glint of a tear-

And Sans kept his hand even, magic in the open maw-

But just as he releases it- It strikes him, the realization, there in his LOVE fueled mind in a startling instant-

_That's a kid-_


	69. Kids like.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You have no clue what you're dealing with."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fail at every decision I make. It's okay.

"A kid?" Undyne asked curiously, her and Sans finally alone as The Legion had been called in first to give their sides of what had happened... Sans shrugged.

"Yeah, a kid. The Whimsun who just got moved up into group 3. Basically a baby."

"... I was under the impression.." Undyne began. "That you didn't really.. care." About anyone or anything but him and Papyrus and begrudgingly herself because she was connected to Papyrus. "Everyone's in it for themselves and you don't care.."

"Can't afford to care.." Sans mumbled, not looking at her, looking towards the door... "What am I supposed to do about it?"

1 HP. Powerless, useless...

His fingers were curled together tightly into fists.

"I was just in the position to do something for once and the fact that it was a kid.. They think if they can just exert enough power they are above judgment. That their victim can't fight back and they can do anything they want.." Sans shook his head, true anger in his voice. "I hate that. Especially since! Few years, 1, 2, 3... and they'll be out of here. And the people younger that they put down don't have that. We all have to wait. And it's hard enough without people like them! We... We all didn't decide to be here. Everybody's lost everything and they didn't have to go and make it worse. Especially for the younger kids. They have even less. Not even memories of what was good before coming here to hold on to! They have nobody. Nobody has ever cared about them their entire lives... They don't deserve that.. To have the only people to have ever cared about them be the people who are paid to..."

He trailed off for a moment and it was amazing for Undyne to see. She's only ever seen him talk this adamantly about something relating back to Papyrus but perhaps if she just waits.. And she is right, it doesn't take long-

"If it weren't for Papyrus, I wouldn't know what its like to be genuinely cared about, either." He admitted. "And if not for me, Papyrus too... And just.... But you can't care about everybody like Papyrus has tried to, and honestly... I used to hope it too. That sometimes all people needed was... I dunno. Some good food, some bad laughts, some nice...." He glanced more downwards. "You just can't. You just have to worry about yourself and if you're lucky, the people you do have. But that doesn't change the fact that the kids here don't deserve it and even if I can't afford to really care, if I get the chance to step in I will. And if it means I get to dunk on some assholes... Then perfect... Or maybe it's the other way around. Getting to help people while giving someone else what's due 'em.... That's fine too... Hell, I don't know..."

"..... Papyrus mentioned, you wanted to be in the Royal Guard." Undyne told him, hoping she wasn't admitting Paprus had told her something he wasn't supposed to. Sans curled his fingers in even tighter, tight fists that looked painful.

"You of all people should know." Sans told her.

Undyne flinched, the memories that had assaulted her earlier creeping up again- The four humans surrounding her, dust on their hands, their laughter... Sans caught this, noticing the expression on her face and he felt just a small bit of guilt... And he afforded just this once, this small bit of care.. only because the pride and feeling of accomplishment was already there.. enough encouragement to help him to Act.

"Can I tell you something.....? Something that you can't tell Paps?" He dared. Undyne looked at him in surprise.

"I.... Of course."

"... Well... Paps and I... We can't remember. Anything. From before coming here. Course we've been told what happened. A human attack... But even though we were old enough, we just.. can't remember. It was only two years ago but... nothing. Or at least.. that's what I tell Paps.."  
And Undyne was almost certain that Papyrus wasn't being entire honest about it either...

"I just say all I remember is waking up in the hospital beside him. We don't remember."

And vice versa-

"But... That's a lie. I remember... I remember dying. I was dying. I remember feeling myself half turning to dust... before somebody came in just quick enough to put me back together again."

".... That's why you have 1 HP." Undyne realized softly. Sans nodded. "But why not tell Papyrus?"

"He worries enough about my HP... Telling him I've actually.. died.. on top of it isn't going to make that better."

Undyne looked down at her knees....

She supposed not.

But knowing all of this. On top of everything else she's learned today...

"I just hate... how powerless I feel...." Sans continued softly. "Joining the Royal Guard... I can finally do something about it....." Undyne bit her lip. The letter in her coat... to finally be able to do something about it.... "Humans are just another type of bully..."

Undyne was sure that wasn't the word for it but she got the sentiment.... At the desire for justice. To protect but also to make things right, make them pay.. And at the sense of uselessness... Helplessness....

And reluctantly, because she isn't sure he is going to let her... Undyne lifted an arm and wrapped it slowly around his shoulders. Sans tense, she could see the snarl on his face but reluctantly, he didn't pull away and he lowered his head and accepted it.

"Papyrus doesn't deserve this..."

"None of us deserved this.." Undyne agreed softly. None of them deserved this...

Humans and Monsters and loss...

Just a bunch of kids caught up in the middle of it and they didn't deserve it, and Undyne sat there swearing she would make it right. Someway. Somehow. In all of this chaos laid out in front of her. And Sans sat there swearing that one day he'd be able to actually do something to protect.

They would make the ones responsible for all of this pay.

Humanity, and bullies, treacherous Queens and would-be gods....

They would make them pay.

Giving back all the pain and more they had given others.

Justice....

Justice

For all the hurt kids like them who should have never had been given the chance to be hurt....

* * *

 

It's about justice- about making them pay- Get dunked on- Give them back everything they have given others- Judge and jury and- Karmic Retribution- Humanity and their very nature of violence and just because they can- Doing things just because they can- hurting just because they can- LOVE and taking everything- Undyne, Sans, Papyrus- Killing kids-

_That's a kid-_

The intent cuts off as if he has hit a wall-

The wall of surprise and confusion-

As at the last second, the very last second on some forgotten instinct, Sans' fingers pulled back in their surprise- The blasters angling the attacks just the slightest bit upwards even as they still fire- As the little human- the kid- screamed with their face buried protectively into their arms- Smouldering debris rained down around them- As Sans stared frozen, torn in a bunch of different directions- And yet all of him frozen-

As part of him, the LOVE and the back of his urgent mind, demanded to know why'd he'd stopped. As part of him froze completely and there were no proceeding thoughts. And one final part, the part with his mouth open and unable to speak, caught up in that one single realization: _That's a kid-_

And he doesn't know what to do with it- the thought- the realization- the little human in front of him that is shaking and now that he has a good look at them- they don't even come up to his hips fully. So much smaller than all the others he's seen- At a distance he just- ignored- caught up in it all- but _that's a-_

He needs to act quickly before it can gather itself back together, the other part of him states. Quickly before it Acts. Before it Fights. Before it comes at him with everything- But at the same time- That's a-

The moment they lift their face out of their arms, the terror and tears still there in their eyes- They are smaller, but it's not just that, it's how unfilled out those features are compared to the other's he's seen today... He thinks- He- But that's- But it is visibly- undeniably- _That's_ -

The urgent part of his mind assaults him as the little human was noticing his hesitation. Noticing his lack of- No Act. No Fight. Just standing there and he can see the frantic intake of breath and the rush forward.. The urgencey in their chest as the little thing rushed forward. Their soft yellow Soul still pulsing outside their chest and immediately Sans moved, lifting his fingers again defensively in order to grab their Soul with blue magic- and yet- He freezes again at the direction they're taking. Forward, yes, but also doing their best to stay as far away from him as possible. To get by him, still even now, to run- Flee- And that had Sans frozen again- His mind still demanding, frantic-

And yet-!

And yet as he tries once again to do something, prevent them- Their hands are empty- they don't even have anything to...

Sans' hand was still outreached, but it is no longer towards the fleeing human who is now past him and he's had to angle his body after them... Staring and realizing- He's letting them get away, slip literally out of his fingers as he stares after them with wide-sockets, the lights in his eyes pin pricks as he just cannot comprehend their existence- And he just lets them run away- Unable to confront what he is feeling and the confusion and he just... let's them go-

It isn't an active choice, even, it isn't an active decisions.... He is just frozen, and he watches them go.... Slipping away around the corner.. And the moment they disappear-

Sans breathed out sharply as he turned his face as far away as possible-

Only to hear another high pitched scream and Aaron's obnoxious laugh.

Sans' magic spiked again as he turned quickly back around, Aaron appearing around the corner with the kid's arm in his hand, lifting them so their feet- the shoes, Sans realize, can hardly be called shoes- and they were barely touching the ground, barely able to get their tiptoes against the ground as Aaron held onto their arm and dragged them back around the corner, dragged them crying- their brief hope of escape gone, slipping through their fingers- as Aaron brought them back around the corner towards Sans. And there is no more avoiding-

"Nonoono, please." Sans recoiled at the sound of her voice- "Please, please, please. No."

And Aaron only laughed again as he yanked again on the little human girl's arm.

"Almost got away from you, didn't it?" Aaron asked. "Playing hard to get."

And there was that wink, his infernal wink, but Sans' mind can't focus on it to let it register other than anything as bizarrely misplaced with the little girl crying and kicking frantically in his grip to get away- As Sans stayed frozen, finding it hard to breathe properly..

"That's just a kid.." Sans managed weakly. As if that can sum up all he is feeling, transfer what he is feelign onto Aaron, so that he can simply understand and maybe, hopefully, explain it all to Sans.. Aaron tilted his head in seeming surprise, as if the statement was completely out of the blue- And he does not understand. Cannot tell Sans.

"Yeah. You've got to be careful with the young ones. They hide and loop back around right under your nose."Aaron glanced down at the human girl who was still pushing her free hand against him futilely, still crying in genuine terror- Still-

"Please.." She managed. "Please, plea.. please.."

Begging, pleading- Please-

And Aaron stood completely unmoved, as if she wasn't even there, and Sans.. he can't... He...

"There's.. little kids out here." Sans reiterated. Hopefully-

"Well I mean sure, it's a kid I guess, but I wouldn't call it that. Or.." Aaron glanced at him again but then laughed a bit. "What? You think they just sprung up from the ground one day?"

Sans had never... never really thought...

Aaron though shrugged nonchalantly, pushing it off-

"It's not like it matters, though." Aaron stated. "I mean.. they're just like animals. I mean, you eat lamb 'n stuff dontcha? Or you got a tender spot in ya?" And he winked again at Sans, but Sans- "Ah. I get it. This really is your first runt, aint' it? You've never really had much experience with Humans before recently..."

Only... Only at a distance.. Attack- firing range, or behind a plane of glass when he went looking... And... Really... Only... Only Chara...

Chara-

Aaron pulled the girl forward, towards Sans and Sans leaned back as he stared at her.. As she kept crying.. and Aaron still remained completely unmoved, almost pleased with himself as he took on an instructing tone.

"Most would mistake them for Free EXP but I assure you, they can be just as deadly, maybe even more cuz they catch you off guard."

"Please..." The girl cried weakly, realizing she wasn't being listened to, Sans could hear the final bit of hope breaking-

"See that?" Aaron continued. "They'll just parrot anything to get the better of you, but trust me they'd kill their own mother if it benefitted them, there ain't no love between any of them at all. And even when they don't have the other kind, they'll only grow up to kill later. It's better to take care of them now when they're small before they have the chance." He said.

A wink...

"Come on, Sans. You've gotta get at it eventually. Better now when its less high stakes than later at the wall or something..."

Sans...

The one part that has been urgent and demanding this entire time- extremely irritated at his withholding of power to it- is adamant and loud again- That Aaron is right, that all he's saying is right. It's a young human, small human, but it isn't a kid.. Not like a Monster kid, not like all the kids he's known, not like his two little neighbors he loves messing with; a harmless prank- Papyrus' bad food attempts, a good joke, just some nice neighbors- Humans don't age the same. They grow up faster and live shorter lives and they don't care about anybody worth a damn the entire time- It's- All the reasonings come pouring in readily, but-

But the other part of him- The one that has made the mistake of meeting the girl's eyes- That's a kid. Undeniably, unmistakenly, unlike all the others before- That's a kid. A kid with a terrified, innocent- Innocence in her terror as she looks at him- begging-

But the other part is adamant again. Wanting to strangle the girl right there.

Innocence. Pure, fake innocence. Mock innocence in her terror.

It's the same expression- the girl's eyes are green but it's the same expression Chara has given... And Chara's an adult. An adult with LOVE. A Human with LOVE who should never be able to make that face, and this is the same. A Human, a Human with no love. No Mercy...

"Please..." The little girl managed again weakly.. the tears still down her face and her legs shaking... "Please.."

It's all she has...

All she has- But Sans pushes down it down, feeding into the side of him that so adamantly wants to listen to Aaron- shoving the side that is confused and uncertain of what to do- what he is supposed to do- because he knows what he's to do.. As he forms the long, pointed bone and the girl closed her eyes as he grabbed her arm from Aaron and pulled her forward forcefully-

"No!" She cried. "No, nono, please- No.." And she dare not open her eyes. Dare not, not wanting to see it- So utterly terrified...

Sans dares not Check her... But even still.... He hesitates..

"Please. Please.."

Her racing pulse beneath her skin.... He Checks her... And he knows it is a mistake- And it is even more of a mistake than he anticipates- Her terror floods through him- genuine and overwhelming-

*Sofie

A name.

She only has 10 HP, only has 2 ATTACK, 3 DEFENSE- No LOVE.. Not a single bit of-

*Just wants to go home...

Just wants to go home as she grips at her own arm, trying to get it out of his even though it is futile. Just wants to go home as she puts her face against her arm, wanting to hide away from them even as he holds her tight.. As he stands at the point of killing her...

But he-

"Aw, come on Sans. You can do it.. You've been doing so well this whole afternoon. You can't pull out now.."

But he... Sans pulled his gaze away from the girl but he still....

"Come on, Sans. It'll be quick and easy. Just like all the others before once its done and you'll be better for it. You trust me, right?"

"O-Of course." But it wasn't true.

Yet, Aaron is right. There is no difference. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Aaron's right, Sans knows that and he even agrees with it himself. Just like all the others, there is no difference with Humans. She's not a person, not a kid, she's just... Deserves.. But still he...

"I... I can't.." Sans realized. And it startles him.. Startles him to the very Soul that he can't.... He can't and he recoiles away from her. Letting go of her wrist... And the girl was sobbing even more as she fell to the ground. But Sans turned away... "I...."

He can't...

"Just let her go, I can't do it... I'm not ready." Sans added quickly. "I'm not ready.. I'm not.. I'm not strong enough to do...."

But the part of him-

"Alright, alright." Aaron said, putting a comforting hand  and he could hear him turning his attention back to the girl. "Better start runnin'."

There was frantic movement on the ground behind Sans, as the girl picked herself up, obeyed and ran.... And there was something sick inside Sans's ribcage. Something sick and dark and he....

 "It's all just more for me..." Sans lifted his head at Aaron's words, turning back quickly in surprise at the sudden upswing of magic and intent from the Monster beside him. There was a scream and Sans' looked farther across the waste in front of him and he was frozen again as he watched the girl stumble, the bullets having struck her from the ground and behind as she'd ran...

And she fell forward without another moment of resistance, not another sound but the sickening sound of her thin weight hitting the ground at full force.. Her bright yellow Soul shining for a brief moment, and then- shattered.

And Sans stared... having seen the scene today several times before... And yet... this time... with a strange distance in his own mind... As Aaron took a deep breath and stretched.

"Whew, I'm sweaty." Sans doesn't even have to look at him to see the wink. "We really need to get back to the girls though." He admitted. "But hey... Don't feel too bad about freezing up. Most do. It just surprises me each time. It's like all that training goes for nothing, but you'll get the hang of it, promise. I'll help! I'm your partner for a reason after all!" Aaron said, clasping Sans' shoulder and all with a wink. And Sans turned his face away even farther. "Though I get why Alphys dragged her feet so long in promoting you."

Sans' head turned quickly.

 **"What's that supposed to mean?"** He demanded and it is when he realizes how angry he is.. Though he couldn't say why besides he doesn't understand... anything. And the Alphys statement-

"Feisty still, huh? Good, I was afraid the bubble had burst. But well... Oh man I thought you knew that. You being friends and all. But... yeah... She was really not sure about you becoming a Captain. Though she could never really say why. You were all gold stars. But you're more heart like your brother than you let on, aren't you?"

Sans shoved Aaron's hand forcefully off of his shoulder and took a step back.

"I don't got a heart." Sans reminded, the lights in his eyes still piercing. "Can't you tell. It's all hollow."

Aaron laughed softly and winked. God fucking damn him.

"Don't worry, it'll be our secret." Aaron promised. And he began to make his way off, right past the little girl's broken body. And Sans.... Sans teleported forward, shortcut- his back to her as he kept his shoulders hunched high around his neck and trailed on after Aaron, not saying anything else.. Anger and darkness in his ribcage consuming as he forced himself to forget, focus on something else. Something ahead that wasn't the girls and Aaron- And there it is, he finds. Home.

_*Just wants to go home..._

P-Papyrus. Papyrus. And Chara-

Sans faltered again mid-step but then... the anticipation he had lost before was returning. Anticipation because he finally had something that made sense that his tearing mind could grab hold of. At how much he hates her. How much she deserves what's coming to her. Her LOVE. Her attitude. That laugh as she had tried her hardest to kill him.

Undermining everything he has ever worked to...

Using his own power against him, him as her shield.

That piercing taunt-

**_"How can you protect your brother? If you can't even protect YOURSELF?!"_ **

And he holds on to that tightly. Focusing on that arrogant laughter and directing his previously directionless anger onto it. Because he is angry though if asked he could not explain exactly why. Because he can't let...... And he focuses on Chara. Chara and the hatred and the anger and the darkness. As he keeps his fists clenched, his head down.

As they met up with the girls who chattered about all the things they had gathered to sell at that little shop by the river. The one with the two guys who owned it together, in flannel and helmets that really needed to just get it together and admit they're in love already, according to Bratty and Catty that was... As they trailed along the purple lines of magic that brought them back towards the wall. As they made their way, as they piled back into the car- the ride too unbearable, even more unbearable, until, finally, finally. The motorcycle. The free air, and solitude. As he watched Aaron and the girls drive and he adamantly refused to wave back...

As Sans kept his thoughts ahead of him.

As the anger squeezed in his ribcage and he feels on the verge of tears there is so much of it- and nothing makes sense and he doesn't know why, and he..... He just...

Except Chara. One certain thing that makes sense, Chara. One thing and he knows exactly how he feels about her if nothing and no-one else besides his brother. Chara.. She hates him and he hates her, and she deserves it. Every bit of it. Deserves it.

For certain....

Should be burning in hell.

And just like he's told her, she didn't even have to die to get there.

And if he got his heaven out of it, that only made it better.

As he races down the streets on his motorcycle heading straight towards home.


	70. Words: Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What makes a house a home?  
> What makes home a house...?

Home.

There was an old human saying, though it hasn't been used in probably more than a hundred years given the circumstances of everything... But it was very simple and out of everything, it made sense to Chara when she'd first heard it-

Home is where the heart is.

And it made perfect sense...

Chara's had difficulty with words, their meanings. Because things should have straight forward definitions and uses, she thinks. But that is never the case. Each word has a feeling to it. Something she can't describe because she honestly, ironically, doesn't have the words for it. And the word home....

She never understood it when she was younger because just from its straight forward use, it was an idea of permanence. Home was a place to stay. Mostly permanently. Home was a place....

But the closest thing she'd ever had to it was the 'Haven' in Perseverance. It offered protection. The idea of shelter, food, 'opportunities'..... But she knew she was missing something already, even then... And she assumed it was safety..

Permanence and safety.

'Haven' was neither. She had always been working to get out.

It was never _home_.

With shadows looming to keep you in line and the wall...

It was her prison...

Though the concept of free was something she would never truly understand either.... There was no free in the valley. Because even when she did get out of Haven.. her debts paid and she had the entire valley stretched out before her... She had just replaced the walls of Perseverance with the towering walls of the City of Monsters... The Monsters lurking inside ready to strike without a single moment's notice. And if she were to slip beneath the mountain like some do, there would be the oppressive cavern of stone and the pulsing Barrier that sealed the entrance... If there was anything inside the mountain at all and the Barrier didn't just kill you the moment you crossed.....

Home. Freedom... she didn't get it... Assumed that in the end, it didn't matter, it was just words.... She put it out of her mind... and yet, it was there. The knowledge that words weren't always just words... Even if she couldn't understand... Had no frame of reference to understand. Had no expectation to understand.... No illusions. About going to go and find a home. Some place she _belonged_. Because in the valley there was no home. No true place to stay... permanently... safely... It doesn't exist...

It just didn't exist....

Until the day she had been pinned into a corner and she knew, she was already dead. Staring at the encroaching wall of darkness- And she had stared.. already dead. Alone- Dying alone-

And yet a hand around hers. The boy. The smile.

 _Home_.

Home is where the heart is. It is with other people. Who you love...

Not a house with roof and walls. It's a hand around yours. Arms holding you close, or you them. Wrapped together in tears as you hold your best friend close and your brother stays there with you, and the camp that had just felt _empty_ and _hollow_ and _pointless_ , once again felt _whole_.

That's what home is. It's the place you most feel whole. Where you're not alone...

That's _home_.

And that's _love_.

Love... That's another word that took her some time to get.. At first thinking it a weakness, and then later something inside your chest that feels so warm or painful that you could cry... But that can't be entirely it.... Because if that were the case then Temmie wouldn't be able to do it....

Love...

Feeling close to someone. Wanting to be close to someone. The distance between you painful in your chest. Because there is a piece of you that's not there. A part of your home...

Home. Love.

Home is where the heart is. And your heart... the ones you love.

It's different words but it is all the same, all tied together... The same feeling, the same idea.. It's just too big that it needs several words..

Home. Love.

Words... Ideas...

Frisk's little puns, and the revelation of acronyms....

The fact that one word could be made up of a bunch of others....

TEMMIE. T.E.M.M.I.E.... an acronym for the power of the Human Souls. 6 names into one. Why her friend was really temmie, and not quite a TEMMIE at all. The echo of the Prince of Monsters, and no link to the 6 souls at all.

And other words she realized...

EXP... Execution points. It's an acronym. A way of quantifying the pain you've inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases.

And LOVE, too... is an acronym.

It stands for "Level of Violence".

A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt.

The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself.

The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt.

The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others...

And Chara thinks it is the cruelest thing anyone has ever done... to make those two words so seamlessly together. Love... and LOVE... But it makes so much sense.

Because words have power.

And LOVE.... The more you gain, the easier it becomes to distance yourself..... The harder it becomes to love... To even realize... that it is even happening. How that wicked darkness encroaches, consumes... And you lose the very heart of you.

In the sense of power. In the sense of uplifting strength that you have never had before. The feeling of control. The feeling, sense that you can actually do something. Stand your ground because you are so tired, so, so, so tired... But you no longer feel it.

Can't understand. Can't look inside yourself and think clearly. Can't even realize, ask, have you really done the right thing? Because it tells you, yes. And you can no longer consider anything you've done. And in the moment that you need to look inside yourself most desperately, you can't. There is no way to be truly honest with yourself.

Not without something happening to cut you off. Some realization. Some intervention.

Before you lose your home completely.....

And she had almost once again lost sight of that.

There is a little timer in the corner of the t.v. screen counting down to the next Napstaton show, Papyrus called it. Counting down quickly but not quickly enough... Because the last time Chara had been there...

She'd been too caught up in her despair.

LOVE is not the only thing. LOVE and hatred and emptiness, linked just as closely as home and love and a sense of whole.

And this longing in her chest as the timer ticks down. To see him for real, her friend. Frisk's song. Her desire to hear it. Wanting... It's the closest thing she has to home right then. And she wants time to go faster. To see it. Hear it. To make this potential hope she's been given real. To finally see a true glimpse of it, please... Please.

 _Home_.

.......... Home.

As Sans raced towards the house...

 _Home_.

The proudest day of Sans' life... Even more than his promotion to Captain. Even more than every other little thing.... The first day he almost felt entirely whole. Truly hopeful. The first day that he could remember that he had almost felt entirely himself, how he wanted to be.... Was the day they had finally begun to move into the house.

Walking through the house before, with it not being theirs, hadn't felt real. Signing the papers hadn't even felt real. But the day they pulled up. Their things packed up into the car. Alphys' trailing behind them with Undyne having even come up from her hole to help, sitting there in the passenger seat... Going inside the house, dragging in their things though by the end of the day the house still had large gaps of white wall and barren floor and scattered boxes... The smell of ordered pizza, a dozen spider donuts Alphys had picked up along the way... The four of them together on the floor... Laughter...

Papyrus beaming...

And Sans felt something warm in his chest, genuinely warm... because finally, he'd finally gotten Papyrus somewhere that could finally be called home....

And everything after that, was just yet another step to getting them to the ultimate, final, goal. To finally be fully _there_. Protected, happy.... just... living...

There was nowhere to go but up.

Getting to know the neighbors. Those two kids across the street. Getting more and more attention at work and at the monthly training sessions. The approaching promotion that just had to be coming, Alphys assured him that it would come. Just a bit longer. Just a bit... And finally. It did. Finally he was there. The uniform. The badge. Papyrus' lasagna. The gift.......

He'd been so happy, excited.. proud.

They were finally _there_.

Everything they wanted and _more_.

He'd finally won.

Everything and more....

And **yet**.

Nearly killing him. Nearly killing him on the same floor he had sat with the others, eating pizza, laughing. And she'd laughed. Laughed at him. As she had proved everything was a lie. He still wasn't there. It wasn't done.

It still wasn't right.

But he could make it right. **Show** her and make it **right**.

Just a little more LOVE and he could protect everything no matter what.

Just a little bit more of LOVE.

He could be strong enough. Powerful enough. He could be... Would be...

And yet each time it seemed like he was almost there. Why did something always happen? Why is it that each time he feels like he might just be that much closer to feeling whole..... then why does something always come up to show him... how hollow he still feels. How hollow, how restless, how torn apart...

And he hates it. Hates it.

And as he pulls into the garage, making his aim straight for the door of the house. Not even glancing to the gadgets and scattered abandoned projects in the corner that acts as his workshop.... Opening the door, his gaze piercing and his anger spiking even more forcefully as he sees her right away. Sitting there on the couch with his **_brother_**.

With his brother, and the sound of music in the air, and in his mind he can still hear her laughter...

The Napstaton show... She'd had the audacity to try and watch that after what had happened the last time.. With his **_brother_**.

And Chara can feel it in the air... As his gaze is focused directly on her. Her fear of him noticing something off. Of noticing Papyrus' tightening, near protective hold around her shoulder, and his rising fear..... Chara knows her own fear of him realizing Papyrus was staring with a torn and twisted expression... was all misplaced.

Because it is in the air, the hatred and sharp anger. And Sans can't notice. He is too cut off and focused on her.

And he doesn't even notice. But she can see it. Understand it. Just like Papyrus can.

Something's wrong in more ways than one.

And Chara knows that each of them really is in for a very bad time. Each of them so very far from the people that they love.... From _home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had extreme difficulty just getting back into the action, so we have a vague ideas chapter just to get it out. We will get back to the action and like... more closely to what is actually happening next chapter. So the chapters kinda overlap in terms of plot, I guess. Idk. There was just a lot. I'm still not sure. But this is what happens when you take a monthish hiatus and you're like ahhhh. I've thought about this story everyday but now *hands flail*  
> How write?


	71. Static-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been edited!!!!! At least the second half!!!  
> It's a bit more graphic that before? Maybe? Idk.  
> But also more information and yet also less information.  
> Chara gets more screen maybe and Sans less????  
> Idk.  
> But this is closer to the original angle I think so it is good. The upper half is still blah for me but whatever.  
> Let's go!

There is a timer in the corner of the t.v screen. Chara's eyes were glued to it. Watching the numbers..

She knows numbers, overall. She can add and subtract well enough. With her fingers. She'd needed it. To know numbers well enough to make sure she wasn't getting cheated. That she was getting a fair deal. To plan ahead rations.

Time itself though is a concept that just does not stick for her. It seems too.. malleable. Unimportant, even. You went by the number of meals. The amount of resources. Time was only relevant with that...

The passing of months only noticeable as the sharpness of the air changed. As daylight dwindled and winter approached.Truthfully, she had only _just_ started to get a hold of keeping track of months when she had been captured and then it had all dissolved. Two or three months into the prison.... she just couldn't know anymore...

Time without time.... Or it was to say... Waiting in the darkness for the end to finally come. Knowing there was a time limit to her days but unable to know when. Unable to even know how long she'd been there to begin with. Unable to know when Grillby would be back, unable to know when she would be finally be sent off for the slaughter..  Waiting. Just endless, empty time she is acutely aware of-waiting.

And then coming here.... Discovering that it could be worse. Because the wait without end except the one. That's one thing. But here it was everyday. A new wait. A new torment. Enduring the closet; waiting for the brothers to get home. For the hell to start back up again... And that's still true. She is still waiting.. dreading... 

For Sans to come home.

But there is a slight distraction. Even if it is just another agonizing wait.. As Chara stares at the counter on the screen beside the little logo that states NPTT..... and waits...

But there in the back of her mind is still the fear. That sensation, that dread... Knowing that Sans will come home. And the fear... He'll come home before the little timer in the corner of the screen hits four little zeros in a row and she'll never get her chance.

Or she knows even worse.... that he will come home and use it against her.. Tainting it even more than it has already been tainted.. Just like everything else. But the idea.... to run and hide in the closet. That feels like too much to give him. Not when she has been given back too much of her determination today...

Determination...

It isn't... It doesn't feel like _real_ determination. Just a small echo of it. But it is still stronger than she has had in such a long time. Something that isn't just a hollow lie. It has a foundation in something.

Though that foundation...

Chara dared to take her eyes off the screen, glimpsing briefly at Papyrus who was sitting on the floor with his back against the far side of the couch. And it is only a glimpse but unfortunately it is at the exact same moment of his own glimpse in her direction and for a brief, gut twisting moment, their gazes met and Chara quickly retreated. Hugging the pillow closer as the blanket stays wrapped around her shoulders, and she looks away. At the pillow first and then back at the t.v. screen-

"D-Did you need anything else?" Papyrus asked anxiously, invitingly- He's asked her before. Something to drink? To eat? A little bit of cake? It's chocolate, you're favorite!- The startled fear in her chest- she had already forgotten that she had told him that. And it had made her chest tighten even tighter for a moment wishing she could take it back. And she can't. Everything she's revealed...

Everything she's revealed...

Chara had refused his offers for cake, just another glass of water... She'd just... She wanted the cake, to be sure. The chocolate, just the thought of it despite the fact she knew it would probably just make her sick... But she had wanted it. Wanting it but also not wanting it. Something good and yet also something else to taint. All of it to taint. And that is the problem with opening up to people. It's not just yours anymore and they can so easily taint it. And you can't take it back.

And now Papyrus was watching her anxiously again and she was tense.

Was there anything else she wanted? She wanted time to move faster and yet more slowly at the same time. She wanted to snap a callous remark at him. She wanted to hide away in fear.

Chara just shook her head.

She can sense the disappointment on his face...

Chara can tell he is having a difficult time of it as well, but she can't give her sympathy. And she can't help but wish she had gone with her callous remark that she is still swallowing down- he's not the one in danger. Not the one who was going to be physically hurt. Raped. Reduced back down to a single thing to break...

That semblance of determination torn apart and drained out of her with each passing pain... and each moment of forced reaction from her body. The burning... aching...

But she can't bite back. 

The relief and strange feeling she'd had in the bathroom, when she had.... hugged him....

That was almost gone now. Replaced with reason as she has started to regain her ability to think.

She can't trust him even though he means it. But even so. He isn't the one in danger- raped, hurt, potentially killed. He isn't. And if he changed his mind once. Maybe he can do it again.

It's his brother after all.

And Chara just.... Had to be careful.

Because he is 'with her', on 'her side' but he is not  _with her._ Not entirely. Their stakes are not the same. And if it came down to saving her or Sans... She knows it wouldn't be her. She knows.

... Though it is still the one thing she cannot blame him.

Chara just looked back down into the pillow again. Not wanting to think.... And yet... A part of her....

And there is silence. Except from the sounds from the t.v. screen. Silence between the two of them. It's tense, uneasy, both of them unable to keep the other's gaze for more than a moment before glancing away and yet unable to fully just accept that fact and look completely away...

As Papyrus wonders what it is that she is thinking about and Chara tries not to think about anything at all. It's over and done. Just like the time for talking... All that's left is to just grit their teeth and carry through.

To carry through and to see how far Papyrus really could be trusted in this, Chara thinks. To see if he will at least.. not screw her over..

How much of an ally he really... 

It's just... All fine when they've been alone. He means it when they are alone. Thinks clear. But she has seen him. How he mirrors the otehrs. Cold and professional for Grillby. Ruthless or brotherly for Sans. Cruelly kind for her....

But the moment Sans comes back. The moment he falters. The moment Sans notices.... something off. Something wrong....

Chara doesn't think about it. She looks back towards the screen. Not to think about it. But her mind keeps bringing it back up. All the things she has now given Papyrus. Someone she can't trust. And she has given him so much- too much- All those little pieces of her.

Temmie... The River Person... and...

Little pieces of herself given to him, and she knows that really... he doesn't believe her. Not fully. But she can't actually hold that against him either this time. She had known he wouldn't believe her. She wouldn't have believed her. It's too... crazy. But her entire life has been a series of crazy.

If you just look at Frisk or Temmie alone...

And he doesn't believe her, she knows. She had known...

Because as she had spoke. Temmie, the one she needed him to find. And then as she had continued... It was plan on his face as he had faltered at her telling him about The River Person. Unable to comprehend it right away even then. And Chara herself had to adjust to the fact and work through her sense of anger and jealousy when Papyrus had revealed he knew exactly who she was talking about... The River Person. Giving rides on his boat... He'd known... She hadn't expected it even though she supposed it was a good thing... If Papyrus could even find him, that was...

But the last thing..

He doesn't believe her.

Well... He believes her in the sense that he accepts she thinks she is telling the truth, but he does not truly believe her... But she really can't hold that against him..

But it had been his song. His and Frisk's song. It had to been him.

Naps... Napstablook.

Z.

But Papyrus doesn't believe her... Not really...

That's why they're there watching the little timer counting down in the corner of the screen.

The one she wants to speed up, go faster.

And that invisible, awful counter pressing over her. The one she wants to go slower. Just stop. The one counting down to when Sans will be there. The one Chara is trying so desperately to ignore. Distract.

But she can't.

He's going to come, she's going to be hurt. Sans...

And Papyrus is sitting down at the far side of her, but she is so alone in this still. So alone... Even if in the long game of it she is not alone, she is still...

Chara pulled the blanket up farther against her chest, curled up in her little ball. Terrified.

She tried not to think about it but now she is thinking about it. Because when Sans comes home all she's told or not told Papyrus won't matter. It doesn't- If Sans just sees right through. If Papyrus can't be trusted- It's all going to be decided. If all that's happened today meant something- All of this- boiling down to whether or not Papyrus can keep his expression convincing. Whether or not... He won't just give her away. She can't trust him after all. She...

Chara closed her eyes for a moment, silently... wishing. Maybe a bit of a prayer. But she knows she won't be heard... She hasn't been in a very long time. And that's what she deserves.

She opened her eyes, focusing back on the screen because she dare not think of Temmie again for now. She'll only work herself back into a hole. And if she is going to survive this... to make it to the point where she has to face those problems, those thoughts, then... she's...

Going to have to stay determined.

No matter what happens right now.

She needs to stop thinking.

Just-

Stay determined. Stay...

Chara did her best to lift her chin, keep her eyes on the screen... On the commercials specifically. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the robot she is pretty certain is her friend.

It had to be her friend. It had been his song. It had been Ghost Fight. And that was his song! The one he wrote for Frisk and she knows it. It has to be him. But still her stomach twists.

Because the timer is counting down and it was just at 5 minutes and now it is at 1. 1 minute left- And Chara was gripping the blanket tightly. 30 seconds left and her heart racing, racing- Pounding uncomfortable in her chest. She wants to see it. Her friend. His concert. If he worked things out with his cousin or in the end got pushed around again and she hopes, she hopes- Something good. One good thing. Like Frisk would see it. A visit from a friend- She wants to know. See. Interact. Just a little piece of home.

But whether it will bring more pain than good she doesn't know- Drag her farther down or raise her up- She doesn't know. But she wants. No matter what, she wants.

10 seconds, she is holding her breath.

And the NPTT chime sounds and the logo blazes across the screen. And a loud voice is filling the room- She can't make out the words, her eyes glued. The pink and blue lighted robots, just brief images across the screen. Little snippets of past events as the announcer boisters it up.

And she is holding her breath. Her heart pounding even more. Her head spinning-

"That him?" Papyrus' voice cut through and Chara released her breath and took another in. Papyrus turned his face towards her in concern and there is just so much anger in her chest at it.

"I don't know yet." She snapped. But as she did, and the look on her face, she realizes that she's crying. And immediately she was chastising herself. Lifting the blanket up to wipe at them. Shut up, and she is looking at the screen with the blanket to her mouth, ignoring Papyrus who still was looking back at her.

But she just doesn't know yet. Pictures mean nothing. She needs to hear, feel him, in the song. See in his unfiltered mannerisms. Because the metal frame isn't him. Just how is Papyrus suppose to get that? She'd just told him Napstablook. She hadn't really explained.. how. A pair of ghosts in a metal frame. But even in the side of her vision she can see his strange, not understanding expression. But she just can't tell yet and she didn't want to hear Papyrus' stupid, grating voice and ruining it. And she knows he doesn't believe her, and that she can't even really hold it against him- But she just can't tell by looking. She can't. But she wants to. She wants to know now. See. A friend. Someone there for her in this moment.

But the universe hates her, she knows. Because Mettaton is barely on the screen. Truly on the screen, for just a second. Greeting the audience with a wink as he starts to sing. His big entrance Chara doesn't care about at all! And she just knows the universe hates her. Because the moment he is on there, there is the loud sound of an engine revving in the distance.

A tension releases as Chara closed her eyes, a whimpering sound escaping her as she half buried her face with the blanket that is already so close to her mouth. As the engine races nearer over the sound of the t.v.

And she knows...

Sans.

Of course it's Sans.

Of course the timer to the start of the concert and the timer of him coming home would be the same. She was an idiot to think she'd get one good thing without something bad. If she'll get the good thing at all. They're just going to ruin it.. Sans is just going to ruin it.

"Run." Chara's eyes opened, even with things a bit blurred by tears she could see Papyrus' face clearly, as he leaned in urgently as he ordered her. "The closet."

Chara's fingers around the blanket tightened. The anger tight in her chest even as her fear makes it difficult to breathe- As she glanced back to the t.v. The anger-

She doesn't want to leave. She doesn't- But he will ruin it for her. In some way if she stays. But the first song is still playing and Mettaton is on the screen and she can't help but think of all the things that's ever been said about him... potentially said... if it was Naps- If he was that cousin- Self centered- Pressuring- And all the things they'd said to Naps. To face him. To speak his own mind- Have a bit of resolve.

Resolve...

Stay determined.

Sans is going to hurt her no matter what...

Chara lifted her chin higher as she stared at Papyrus who was standing, much more frantic than her as he tried to grab the blanket, to help her run..

But she's not going to run. Run to the closet and let herself go blind to the situation. To not have a glue as to what is going on. She has no control. Not a bit.

But she's not going to run.

That's the only thing.

Papyrus stopped, seeming to notice her lack of response other than to go tense and still. Her breathing still quick and uncomfortable. She can't hide the fear. But she is not going to run. She's going to stand her ground.

Stay...

Papyrus' gaze flickered over to the garage door at a new sound and Chara lowered her own gaze to the t.v. screen.

She's going to stay. She's going to see her friend. If nothing else. He's not going to take that from her. The either of them.

Even if she's scared- terrified- finding it difficult to breathe.

She's not. going. to run...

And she will do her best to blink back the tears. As she keeps her eyes on the screen, waiting for her friend to show- And tried not to flinch as Papyrus sat down beside her, pulling the side of the blanket over him. And tried not to cry out in panic as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. As her heart raced, as the fear spiked through her but she kept her eyes forward. She just wants to see him. Hear him. Know for certain, please!

Because she can say she's determined. And try to prepare all she wants... But she's not. She notes in anger that she shouldn't have to be.. But she's not...

"Chara." Papyrus tried again, just as urgently as before- But she still won't take her eyes off the screen, her shoulders hunched high, protective, not wanting him to touch her but he is and there is nothing she can do as she can't breathe evenly- "Just call." He whispered, reminding. What they had decided.

He would only step in for her if she called for help. Giving her that one bit of control. That false, bitter sense of control. The ability to stop it and yet at the same time only put herself in even more danger. The sick illusion- But she just has to call for him to step in. She only had to call.

Chara refused to nod but she forced a deeper breath. Drawing her determination. Stay determined. They can touch her body, tear her to pieces, but not her heart. The things she loves. They can't take the heart of her. The very heart... It's only pain. Pain. Get through it. Playing the long game. To get out... Free... Home.

Home.

But on the screen there is still only Mettaton and all the rest that don't matter- and if he is the second part of the name, where the hell could he be?

She just wants-

But the door to the living room from the garage- is opening-

And Papyrus held her firm. And almost immediately, Chara's eyes are breaking from the t.v. screen despite her best, personal declarations. And it is like the entire world was holding its breath for too long and all a bit sort of tizzy-

But there Sans is, and Chara loses her breath at the sight of him, her stomach dropping. He looks exhausted and yet ablaze. Deranged, the narrow points in his eye sockets immediately training on her. And she can feel the LOVE. You can smell it too. Toxic ash and something sick- The hatred and sharp anger all around her, and something's wrong.

"And what are you doing out of your little cell, _precious_?" Sans demanded immediately and Chara can't breathe as she knows now she should have run. Out of sight out of mind for a bit longer but how was she supposed to have known. Lost in a blurr and powerful haze, even more than his own blinding hatred towards her.

And there she is. Right there in his honed in focus. In the fire of his anger and she knows that whatever Papyrus was trying to achieve in putting his arm around her- to make her being out here less conspicuous- whatever- It is only making it worse. The two of them together and-

Chara made the mistake of glancing away. To the screen. Leading Sans' own gaze there, too. As the first song ends and Mettaton begins to talk. Greeting. Hyping-

"S-Sans!" Papyrus began trying to sound sure but failing.

And yet... when Chara looks back to him. His brother doesn't seem to even notice as he comes closer. And Chara is frozen. Unable to escape and not willing to hide away farther against Papyrus. Knowing that would make it worse and that there was no true safety there. There was never any safety- Never safe only safer and it isn't even that- As Sans angled himself around, like a cat- like the cat- staring at her. Wanting to destroy her. As their eyes stayed locked on and it felt like Papyrus wasn't even there- Even as he spoke-

"We- I was just settling down to watch the Napstaton concert! Care to join?"

The intensity of Sans' gaze only burned deeper into her.

"Sans?"

"Sure." Sans began. "Why not?"

"How was your day? Where did you go?" Papyrus continued quickly as Sans came closer now. Looking as if he might actually sit down to join them. And Chara doesn't want him- She was gripping the blanket for as much support she could, wishing the pillow was in her arms but it is on the edge of the couch, closes to Sans.

"My day?" Sans began. "My day was absolutely, perfectly dreamy."

His smile, Chara thought he was trying to sound genuine. That it wasn't meant to be sarcasm, but somehow, even as he tries to believe it- Something's wrong. It was not perfect. It was supposed to be perfect, should be perfect. Everything went perfect. And yet he doesn't feel it. He absolutely does not feel it. Sans was looking straight at her with a tilt of his head.

"Care to ask why, pet?" He was right next to her. And Chara was frozen, flinching though she tried not to. As he reached out and Chara closed her eyes when he put a hand in her hair, running his fingers through it. "No?"

"Sans." Papyrus tried again. His voice evening out at least some of the tension- at least for a second- at least Sans' fingers pulled away from her face, and farther back, but then they were too close to her neck. And she dared not move. Dared not open her eyes. Give the predator any incentive to act. Play dead-

But he's going to do it anyways-

"What did you do today? You didn't tell me before and I'd... hadn't thought to ask."

"Oh well. Went to the dumps. With Aaron and some of the others!" Sans said cheerfully and Chara lost her breath a moment. She'd known that just looking at him, feeling him, the way he filled out the room. That distinct scent of ash from the raging fires at the heart of the area. The endless, unsightly column of ash that crossed over the land. A haze- Like the haze of LOVE that was surrounding Sans himself. LOVE... Dark and restless. And yet how tired- Yet how awake- Vibrating with energy- magic- Hatred- Wanting to hurt...

Hurt **_her_**.

"Oh, well... I'm glad to hear that.. you're making.. friends." Papyrus doesn't sound glad at all... He sounds... scared... But she knows it is still mostly for his brother, even if some of it is for her, she's still just-

"Yeah, friends. Aaron's got more insight in him than I anticipated if I'm honest. Guess I should appreciate him a bit more, huh?" His fingers in her hair, the tips of his fingers digging into his skin at his own words- he doesn't seem to mean it-

(But he's supposed to)

"I also gotta say, always knew humans were awful, but to see them all run around abandoning each other the moment it gets rough." Sans pulled on her hair and Chara's eyes opened to see his face directly in hers, and she can't breathe properly- "All of you really are the worst, aren't you?" He asked darkly. "You'd abandon even the youngest, wouldn't you?"

She dare not say what is right there in her mind-

_"But you're the ones that kill them."_

And he is doing his best to kill her.

She feels small and helpless, between the two men. Papyrus' arm around her. Sans' hand in her hair, pushing a piece back behind her ear.

"Already shaking again." Sans scoffed. "Bunch of cowards. All you do is run."

On the television screen there was a strike of a new chord and Chara gasped slightly as she looked towards it, ever so hopeful, Sans grip next to her ear tightened again and he leaned down next to it.

"Remember this song, pet?" He whispered into her ear. And his breath is warm against her next and she shivered as she closed her eyes for a moment. But only a moment. Her eyes on the screen. And the song... No. No, she does not remember. She had been too out of it last time and it isn't one of his- Nap's. And he isn't on the screen still. Nowhere in sight. Just his cousin, and she's still just alone and there is something painful in her chest. She really wants to see, she realizes, truly, truly wants to see. Her friend- Truly her friend- That's this pain- But Sans wasn't letting go, and somehow she already knows she isn't going to get to see.. "Wanna dance?"

"But Sans, you look so tir-"

"I'm fine." Sans told his brother, almost harshly- defensive- and it scares Chara. At how he doesn't notice it. "Let's just have a bit of fun."

Sans' let go of her hair but then was gripping her arm- incredibly tight- And Chara clammed shut, completely tense as he forced her forward. He finally had both of her wrists and she was forced to face him. To look at him, not daring to look away and give him another reason to touch her face, hurt her.

But he's just going to anyways-

"Oh come on, pet. Don't give me that look- Like I said. Just a bit of fun." He told her, almost, just almost softly and it scares her more. Because he truly, truly wants to hurt her. As he pulls her back with him, letting go of one arm only to force it upwards as he puts his now free hand on her waist, making her jump, her hand resting on his own arm because it has nowhere else to go and her eyes are frantically going from his arm on her waist to his face to his other hand as he lets go of her wrist and forces his fingers around hers. Trying to force her to lace them together, hold his hand- Chara pulled the hand back and Sans growl, catching it again by the wrist and holding it there. Painfully.

Chara let out a small whine as the pain kept growing, as he seemed to more than threaten to break it. But still her fingers stayed in a protective fist. He would not hold it like that- no- Even as he forced her into the makeshift waltz that the music was too energetic to support. And yet they did so. Back and forth. An awkward triangle of movement as Chara struggled to breath, struggled to find where to look until settling on his chest in front of her. But she can feel his merciless smile and his gaze at the top of her head.

... He hates her. He really hates her. Hates everything about her. Everything she stands for. Her warmth and soft skin- As he digs the fingers of his other hand against her side- into her shirt- a shirt- And he is only now realizing that she's clothed again- And the thought that they would fix that in due time. And oh how the struggle should be exciting...

To see how much-

But the thought also angers him- Her futile attempts. Her persistence to keep going. To deny him. Defy him. To not just accept what she deserves- Just accept it. Just die-

It's all that's been running through him since opening the door.

He hates her. The anger of it all. Her next to his brother.

And the things on his mind that he won't acknowledge too. The things he refuses to focus on, and only focus on her. How. much. he hates her.

And yet the inability to be fully satisfied by her fear of him-

He wants to tear her to pieces. Them all to pieces. Each and every one of them- Them- Humans. Her.

Her... And that hint of something in her eyes beyond the fear that he just can't stand. That makes that satisfaction impossible. That thing that was broken before, supposed to be broken, and now its back and he hates it. Hates her... She was supposed to be broken. Finally getting what she deserves. And yet even in the fear, the terror and the way she won't look at him willingly- her breathing quick and her pulse quicker. She's somehow... not given up. And he hates her.

Even so he tries to mentally take a step back, at least a bit. As much as he can in his haze, but he knows. Her persistence- If she had begged. Had given up, broken, he could it enjoy it. Be satisfied. But she hasn't. And before that had impressed him, but now it is just anger. A sense that somehow, she is somehow winning. Somehow.. The fact that she hasn't given up no longer demonstrating her own strength but highlighting his own failures. His failure- To protect. To act. To Fight-

Aaron's right. That fucking asshole is right.

And Sans' grip on Chara's wrist is painful and even though she won't look up at him, he can hear her hiss softly, unavoidably, and bite her lip. Wanting to hide away from him even as he holds her tight... And he just barely lessens his grip and he looks over towards the t.v. screen.

"Sans, you're blocking the view." Papyrus cut in and Sans just smiled a bit more as he briefly turned his face toward his brother but didn't dare look at him fully. His guilt at having just proven at how much of a failure he is there- yeah, that guilt. That's the guilt.

"Aw, sorry, Paps. Just having a bit of fun, ya know?" And Sans looked back down at Chara, still smiling, as he pulled her out of the way of the t.v. He lowered his face again, resting his cheek bone against the top of her head. "Isn't that right, pet? Aren't you having fun?" He asked softly. "Here together."

Right. Fun. This is fun for him. Even if not for her.

"You ever dance before, pet?" He asked absently.

The way Chara tensed, almost as if the question pained her.

"No..." She lied softly.

"Aww." Sans mocked. "Well we shoulda just done that last time. Coulda enjoyed the day a lot more don't you think? You just had to go straight to tryin' an kill me and all that. Remember that, pet?"

"What?" Papyrus cut in again and Sans laughed grimly, Chara still tense even as he forced her to move with him. Sans lifted his head.

"Oh yeah. Didn't I tell ya?" Sans forced Chara around to face his brother. And Chara...

Chara was truly frightened as she looked at Papyrus, not wanting him to know this. At how she had reacted last time. She hadn't said anything for a reason when he had suggested they watch it. Not wanting to fuel any lingering resentment. At maybe getting him to change his mind. Because she just.. didn't know.. Everything was uncertain and she just didn't know. At what could possibly get him to change his mind again. To not be on her side anymore. She couldn't full trust him after all- Everything uncertain. Just uncertain.

And Sans held onto both of her wrists. One forced with his, wrapped around the front of her waist while the other was up closer by her face. And Chara tried to cave in even more on herself... Make herself smaller, less noticeable. As Sans' face was lowered again against her neck and he rocked her slightly side to side.

"This bitch. I was giving her such a nice treat and she had to go and ruin it for the both of us. She should be thankful she's got this chance again. Thankful at how merciful we've been. Thankful... to even be alive." He continued to whisper hotly against her skin. "Ain't that right... pet?"

She couldn't keep her gaze upwards, looking down at her own feet, not able to look at either of them and Sans could feel her shake slightly. Sans let go of her waist and covered her mouth. Her free hand rose instinctively to pull at his wrist but the moment she touched him she froze- as Sans squeezed her other wrist threateningly. He forced her to lift her face, to stare at his brother. And even then she looked past him, at somewhere beyond him in the window.

"We should make her thank us for our mercy, shouldn't we, Pap? Make it worth the fact she gets to live another day and be out here when she doesn't belong... Whatdaya say? Let her make it up to both of us. It's been a few rough days. It's what we all deserve."

He wants to rip into her. Tear her to pieces. Make her take both of them. Fully knowing it is too much for her. Both of them- One last time and he is sure they'll finally get her to beg. Break- Break. Shatter into a million pieces.

"After all. I promised her every room in the house."

He gripped tighter against her mouth and she let out a soft whine as he held her against his rib cage, there was the trace of tears in her eyes as she kept them glued to the t.v. It only pissed him off more- He didn't think he could be pissed off more- but it kept going-

"Close the curtains." Sans said darkly.

The fear sparked again more intensely inside Chara and finally, her eyes went to Papyrus'. He was staring... ever so obviously... terrified. Shocked, and scared... And somehow... hurt...

And it doesn't fully click with Chara. Make sense.

"Sans..." Papyrus began, but he is looking at her, and Chara realizes... She thinks maybe... it really is just as much for her as it is for Sans and himself....

Chara blinked, the confusion easing into her own expression. But it is hard to concentrate and clearly make out her thoughts as Sans pulls her in closer and she lets out a shaky breath as her gaze falls again.

"I'm tired." Papyrus told him finally.

"Pap- Come on, Paps. It'll be quick and easy."

"I just want to watch the concert." Sans sighed, but it felt more bitter than just that. Almost a scoff-

"Alright, fine." Without clear warning he turned Chara back around. Snarling at her even as he tried to smile. "She'll just have to make up for it later."

"I.."

"Nah, it's fine. Go ahead and watch. It's fine." But somehow it didn't feel so fine. And he felt torn between staying out here, or taking her back to have at her by himself. But staying just a bit longer, hoping Papyrus would change his mind.

Blind-

Not even noticing how scared his own brother looked. Too focused on Chara. Chara knew how that went- Sans pulled Chara back even farther from the t.v, to give them better movement.

"Now about that dance." Sans said, mock soothingly... He put his hand back on her waist and forced her free arm to rest against his, angling it with his elbow, as he kept her other hand, wrapping his own fingers between them. As Chara kept her eyes opened, unable to look away in her fear. Her breathing quick and sharp- And he hates her. It never stops surprising him how much he hates her. How much deeper that hate can go. And yet every bit of it, her deserving- She deserves- And he hates her. Hates her even as he keeps her close and lets them dance again to the music. But the moment the words from the t.v. come- Mettaton-

"And now! I'd like to reintroduce the other star of the evening! New and improved! My lovely darling of a cousin we've all missed so much! Finally back from his inspirational hiatus! The one and only Napstablook!" The way the red eyes desperately try to look back to the screen as the applause sounds. And even so... Sans hates her. Hates her so much. He can't describe how much he hates her. Everything she stands for... He hates... And this sign of movement, of want, he immediately pulled her farther from the screen. Bitter-

Sans forced her to dip, a wonderful gasp coming from her as she tilted downwards and he smiled at her. Their gazes once again locked on. But the fear- it disappears to Sans' surprise. As he lifts her back up.

Because it's here. There. The one good thing. And Chara- She's going to have it. Pushing past fear, confusion, one certainty, she wants to have a clear, distinct, telling look. Her friend.

Chara pushed forcefully against Sans, one hand escaping and she used the momentum to spin out. Sans froze at the forceful jester, half curious, half wanting to kill her on the spot. As she spun out of his arms even as one wrist stayed stuck- As her other arm stretches out ahead of her and she stares away from him, at the t.v.

Longing-

But-

"Right after this message! If you'll pay attention to the overhead screen!" A commercial- Chara knows- A commercial- And she knows. She's really not going to get her chance. She's just spent it.

"You fucking-" Sans' anger is in the air but the true pain Chara feels. Her own anger. She can feel his tightening grip on her wrist, the moment where he is about to snap her back violently towards him, but he doesn't get the chance as she spins back towards him on her own. Spinning and twisting his arm back around her. Right back where she started. Against his rib cage, his arm around her, as she stared ahead. Tears in her eyes but also the anger. Also the determination to not give that to him.  But even so, she waits, knowing he is going to act. Punish her for it.

Letting him force her back into place would have been better off for her, but somehow she knows that, if it wasn't that it would have just been something else.

And she is just so.. angry. It isn't fair. She just wanted-

And Sans...

A part of him is just angry, still. Unable to process and describe all that is going on. Just a blurr- The other is registering that she did in fact just do that. Spin out of his arms and back in, the dance move- as if she was playing along. But he knows. The opposite. It is defiance. A ploy to get a view of the screen and defiance. Especially as she lifted her face, her red eyes... Determined. Even with her lips pressed together, she is determined. A determination he has not felt there inside of her since... forever.

And it only. pisses. him. off.

"Alright then." Chara gasped as Sans threw her down forcefully against the ground.

"Dinner and fucking show."

"Sans!"

Right.

" **Right**." Sans growled. Grabbing Chara's wrist again. "Right."

Gotta be considerate. But the show... must go **on**.

And in a blink Chara and Sans are gone, surrounded by a blip of darkness.

There was a vicious, raged scream from Chara as she tried to push him off of her the moment they exited the shortcut. Push him. Get him away from her. But Sans kept his hold on her forearms tight as he shoved her down against the bed with twice the force she could even dream of mustering. Even with all of that annoying, bitter determination.

And it is annoying. Sans has become very aware of it: the fact that this was not indeed about the fight.

Because if it was about the fight then he wouldn't _be_ so annoyed. He'd be laughing and joking and teasing at her efforts. Like he's done before. But the game has run out. He hates her. He just wants her to break. Just wants her to die. This unexplained, emotional resurgence on her part is not welcome in the slightest. She doesn't deserve it. Not when he has felt how close she's been to breaking before. Not when she's been lost and uncertain, not when she's nearly killed him! Everything on it's head! She doesn't get to fight back!

This unearned strength, this fragile, illusionary push of resistance. She can't resist, it's pointless, and her fighting it...

He hates her. He truly, truly, really does hate her. Every bit of her. Those red eyes glaring, her teeth grit- she's not allowed to pretend to be brave when he has seen and can see how terrified she really is. As he pins both arms to the bed with one hand and the other is reaching to take off her clothes- she shouldn't have been _given_ them to begin with-

And that annoys him, too. That he can't even get any pleasure out of it anymore, taking it off, like he once did. He just hates her. This is supposed to be over with.

He let go of her wrists for a moment, turning her Soul blue before lifting her up momentarily and slamming her down onto the bed. As she gasped and tried to reorient herself, he pulled the pants off of her and tossed them carelessly onto the ground. Her hands were rising but he recaptured them with ease and she was too weak to do anything but pull back helplessly as he took the shirt off of her and threw it away as well.

"There." He seethed. "Just like it's supposed to be."

"Nngh!" The sound was shrill. So full of fight but he knew that once they got started, once her body started to betray her again, all of that would change. The fear and the _pleasure_ would win out. Her shameful inability to fight it revealed. Even as she wreathed in agony, even so there would be the moan-like tone. All of this deserved..

Justice.

Unimpeded justice, now that all the distractions were discarded. The clothes, his and hers, thrown about. Distractions- that _was_ all that it was. Distraction. From it being just as it should be-Him and her. Just him and her. No more distractions.. "Now let's get to really dancing."

There are no bars to stop him. No doubts and inhibitions about _her_. He can do anything he needs. To just get her to break. Make everything right. Just sort everything out...

No doubts and inhibitions about anything at all.

He lowered his teeth against her skin, her pale and bruised skin. Breathing against her and taking in her fear that is already winning out. The fight freezing as she tensed, knowing she could do nothing. Nothing- but still there was anger noticeably in her chest as he went down farther, close against her thin and fragile body, all the way down to her scar from Alphys just above her hip. The moment he got too close to his goal though she began to struggle again with new force.

Sans lifted back up, still holding her wrists painfully as stared her directly in the eyes.

" **Cut it out before I cut you out.** " Sans seethed. Chara froze again and gasped as he took her face in one of his hands, cupping it under her chin. She tried to jerk back as he got up close. Pressing his teeth against her cheek. "This is what you get. What you **deserve**." He told her, and somehow, he felt relieved to say it out loud. With the full weight of his anger and no sooth mocking. It is plain and simple and unadulterated rage and honesty. Everything he felt in his Soul for so long. His rage against the world- against them. Against **_her_**. "This is your karma. Karma. For all the people you've hurt. All the people.. You're just learning how it is to be on the receiving end. The payout for all your fighting. **Karma**."

His fingers were digging into her skin painfully. Both on her face and her wrists and Chara was entirely frozen- the murderous intent she could feel. But even still....

The tears were unavoidable and she couldn't help but whimper; already small beneath him.

"Run... and we're cowards." She told him, "Fight.. and we deserve it." The tears were starting to slip down the side of her face and against his fingers. "Which one is it?"

Sans' grip noticeably tightened and Chara's heart skipped in terror- He lifted his head, his eyes voids of anger and hatred that could destroy her in an instant- he was going to destroy her.

"You shouldn't even _**exist**_." He told her.

Her and every other human....

Every other human..

Every one.

No doubts. No inhibitions. No holding back. Against her. Beating it out of his own system. One certain thing he knows- **She deserves it.**

Everything she has done.

Karma.

He bent down and forced his teeth against her lips in the pseudo-kiss and Chara pushed her head back but couldn't escape. As his tongue demanded entry, as he forced her- knowing how personal and close the assault felt. Unable to escape into her mind as he pinched the side of her jaw and forced her mouth open. Forced his tongue down her throat. She kicked her feet weakly, jerked in an attempt to get air. Her chest moving fast and quick but her mind even quicker. His breath was hot and she kept gagging, the taste of him, the sensation of their tongues around each other and she can't even bit down as he keeps a hold of her jaw- and it hurts. His entire weight against her-

And she can feel it already. The coiling sensation. The heat- already her body is responding. Conditioned to his touch. Already knowing what was going to happen-

Sans pulled his face away, allowing her to breathe but the shame was flooding through her as she did. As she knew, he could hear it. The panic and fear, but also the heat, the dribble at the corner of her mouth. Her tears can't hide it. Sans smiled menacingly.

"Just give up." He ordered. Chara closed her mouth and pressed her lips together as she tried to make a determined face- And yet. Tears. Fear.

Knowing....

As he holds her wrists still with one hand and looms over her.

She's going to be raped again. Raped again, hurt and used and she just...

He bent forward again, his face drawing close and Chara froze, unable to pull back as he gave her another pseudo-kiss, but this time, pain broke through her lips and she tasted the hint of blood as she yelped.

Sans chuckled but when he pulled back-

It's automatic, instinctual almost-

She spat it right back in his face, her glare hardened and fierce in spite-

But it was a mistake. She knew it was a mistake. Had known the moment he had entered the house he was not one to be messed with.

LOVE- She knew too much about LOVE. About how it made you into someone you couldn't even recognize in your own reflection. And he had already meant her real, true, vicious harm, before that. And even more so now. Clearly upset about something other than just her. Something on top of her mere existence.

Even if he hadn't had the LOVE... She'd still be here beneath him-

Just because she's human....

He punched her forcefully, entirely closed fisted compared to all the open slaps he's given her before. The entire right side of her face hurt, shooting pain beside her eye. And her neck, it shot with its own pain as her head was forced to the side. Fearfully, as much as she could, she hid against her arm. Flinching into it as she tried her best to orient herself. To think straight- But when she could begin to, she felt her wrists were released  and he was moving downwards. His grasp against her skin forceful and biting with anger.

There was panic and her heart racing as she couldn't breathe. As he trailed down her body again. As he began to press back and forth against her. Working himself up and his magic in the air. Working up Chara's own panic.

She had her hands on his shoulders, wanting to push him off, knowing she couldn't. Even if she wasn't weakened by the six months- _six months_ \- of confinement. Even if she wasn't half starved, tired, and failing- Abused- Even then, she still wouldn't be able to do it. She would have never been able to do it.

Never the one in control-

And Sans continued to work his magic up, his arousal and hers- despite how tired- exhausted- they both were. The anger was raging through him as she struggled. His grasp painful- painful, always painful. He had one hand on her hips, keeping her against him, and the other against her left shoulder... keeping her pressed against the bed. Trapped. Trapped and panicking. Gulping and wide-eyed.. At his looming anger- rage- terrifying- And yet she still does not know what is best for her. Still tries to **move away** instead of just **laying there and taking it**.

"No.." Chara breathed. "N-" Nothing. Nothing she can do. Even if she calls for help- there is no guarantee that he is there. No guarantee that when it came to it, he would really be on his side. Her or his brother. His brother or her- He is going to chose his brother- Won't fight against his brother-

She is stuck, pressed up against his brother- The smell of ash and death on him. The bite of hatred and LOVE-

Her body aching in several different ways and she is already crying loudly as he grabs her hip more forcefully. Forces her legs open wider- Shoving himself painfully inside her. Not even giving her a chance.

Chara screamed, having been aching for it, the pressure of it, but still in so much pain. And his pace is merciless. Pounding into her. Holding her and forcing her back down against him. Even as she tried to arch away- She closed her eyes and cried out in more pain, shaking her head side to side- Gasping- Scream-

"Exactly." Sans raged. "Scream. Scream! Just like your victims did. As you murdered them. As you built yourself up by tearing them down!" The violent thrusts were backed by his growing intent and Chara- Chara couldn't breathe- Couldn't think but be terrified, but be aware of the pain- fear- As his fingers dug into her skin- Truly wanting to hurt. Kill even. Kill- He would kill her if given the chance-

He had every chance-

He was anger. Pure anger and hatred and Chara was fear- the tears nonstop as she-

"Scream. Beg." Sans demanded, his breathing labored from his efforts. "Beg for mercy that's not going to come!"

There's no way for Chara to get away-

No way for this to stop-

"Beg and scream and cry!! As you feel like nothing! Worthless! Powerless! Like free EXP! Waiting to happen! How does it feel?! HUH?! Weak!-Pathetic!-Worthless!-Defensele- Killer preying-! Going out of your-way!-to hurt!"

She was bleeding, she could feel it at her hips, her arms, she knows somewhere inside her as he continues to thrust and does not relent. Never satisfied. As he continues- Her karma- Her fate-

For thinking she could Save-

Her karma. Her fate.

Humanity. Cruel and evil and do nothing but take! Even to their own kind! Just letting them die! Just little k-

Killing to make yourself strong. 

But here she is, weak, pathetic. Could do nothing now- Weak, useless- weak! Everything she's done for nothing! Nothing!!!

Her karma.

And yet she would not beg. Her body jerking in response every which way- pleasure and pain- screams and moans- She tried to cover her mouth with the knuckles of her hand. To salvage something- anything. Sans grabbed both of her wrists again and dragged them away, forcing them on either side of her head-

"Karma-" He panted. "Karma- Only thing- A creature who can't feel love- deserves." 

Chara called out again, but she can't tell from what- pain or the overstimulated sensation racing up her spine. But within it- Something snapped her mind forward, her attention, as much as she could back to Sans above her- blurred in her inability- blurred in her tears- blurred-

But still- Something- and it isn't even anger, something else- Some need to defend but somehow it isn't even for herself- But still-

"Not- what said-" She managed. That's not the same- Not what he said before. "Not the same!" She cried. It's not. Feel it.. "What said love was-" What he said love was... "Not a feel-"

He said-

He was too close, up in her face, just daring her to speak. Daring her- As she let out another pained moan and arched back against the bed, closing her eyes tight. Her chest heaving, panicked, pain- She's close to coming and it terrifies her, about how that won't be the end, this will just go on- Never end-

She wants to go home- Go home- Fris- Tem-

But he had said- His own words- It's not the same now.

It's not.

Feeling love and being able _to_ love, it is not the same.

What does it feel like? 

Warmth? Just wanting to be with someone...? Or is it stone cold fear.... at the thought of losing someone?

Home-

But any attempts she makes to say these things are broken and panted and she can't even know how much she _does_ get out.

All she knows is that the anger and intent and rage, hate, rage- It is all around her, and Sans' hands around her neck. Even as he continued to pound into her, she- Chara was panicking beneath him. Clawing at the bones of his arms. Desperate. Desperate because she can feel the intent. He isn't going to stop. She's dying. Dying- She's dying- She briefly thinks of help- but she can't call out. Can't even call- Doesn't even know if Papyrus is there- and she can't even call- Can't- She's dying- Going to die- Promise or no- Sans is going to-

She can't breathe and there is pressure in her head and pain- Pressure in her abdomen and burning heat. Tears. Her climax unfairly building even as darkness pulses around her already tear blurred vision. Three sensations- her arousal, her panic, her spinning, breathless mind-

She's dying.

Sans squeezed tighter, never tight enough. Her nonsense words had snapped something inside him. And he didn't care. Didn't care about any promises or not. Didn't care about anything. No doubts. Nothing.

He was going to kill her. She deserved to die- all of them deserved to die.

This one certain thing. One.

Chara's eyes were wide, her mouth opening and closing but she can get nothing. Nothing as she paws at his arms, unable to dig her nails into him anymore. Unable to do anything- Anything but look up at him- the defeat in her eyes- the panic, fear..... that goddamn broken helplessness- That look he's seen before-

He let go.

The climax was tearing through her, her entire body reacting. To the sensation- to the return of air halfway through- The shock to her system- As Sans fell over the edge and fell forward against her. Her body went limp, unconsciousness grabbing hold of her fast. Dragging her into total darkness- she did not fight. Could not fight- Laying like dead weight beneath Sans except for each labored breath. And Sans-

He stayed pressed against her. Inside her. Breathing heavily against her ear as he stared wide-eyed at the mattress beneath them....

His mind static. 

Sans took in large gulps of air and Chara.... still, thin and labored, still she did not stir. Did not move other than that- near dead weight- except for the spasms of her around him that made Sans close his sockets for a moment to recover- still so tight despite his abuse-

And his mind was static. 

He could not push himself up, push himself out.

Sans opened his eyes but there were still wide black voids without a speck of light.....

His mind static-

Chara whimpered softly and something ~~terrified~~ jolted within his ribcage as she turned her head slightly towards his. Sans' hand went over her eyes quickly even as he kept his face turned away and pressed against the bed- the two still pinned together. And Sans can feel, hear, Chara waking up, even if struggling.

Struggling to breathe. Struggling to move. Unable to move. Struggling to comprehend why. Comprehend where she is. Struggling to remember.

And she does finally remember. Regrettably. 

The sick feeling inside her. Still inside her and she can't move. Can't see. Can't open her eyes. Only feel him.

Weighted on her, _in_ her, against her, _**in** _ her- and the feeling of his breath- hot. The sound of it close and deafening. Terrifying. His hand against her eyes. Sans pressed his hand down harder and she let out the softest, terrified whine. Hating to be blind. And yet he won't move. Won't move and she is scared of what he will do when he does. But he can't move. Act- Because...

Sans angled his face closer to hers, their breathing so out of sync. His heavy and slowly being regained while her's is something she still has to struggle for. Each one thin, making a noise that can't be good... But he still...

His mind is static. Each thought fragments. His feelings brief sparks before changing into another.

His mind is static.

But one fragment catches him and it squeezes out of him as his sockets narrow and he stares at the mattress, the skin of her shoulder just at the base of his sight but he can feel her. Every inch of her pressed against him and around him. Her aching, abused-

"Why?" He breathed into her ear and he felt her flinch and that just makes the question that much more- "Why?" He repeated again more angrily. "Why didn't you..." The spark of anger faltered- "Why didn't you kill me?"

There was an emotion in Chara's chest she couldn't name but it made her want to cry- Despair. Despair in her chest....

There were a list of reasons and yet at the same time- at the heart of it still-

"I don't.. know.." She managed honestly.. She's just... "Tired.."

Tired... So.. tired...

And yet- Pain, fear, the pressure throughout her body and this terrible heartache-

She was coming undone, slipping again. If he were to ask her anything else.... she wouldn't be able to do it. Answer again. She could barely manage enough energy to cry. Just barely.

She wants to go home.....

She wants to-

Desperately.... home.

Sans pressed down hard against her face, angling her away from him as he got up. The pain ripped through her and Chara cried out as he pulled out her and left her trembling, open and exposed on the bed. Her eyes, she could open them now. But she dare not. Not wanting to draw his attention. As he moves off of the bed- off of her. There is nothing around her that she can sense, alone on the bed and in the darkness of her closed eyes.

But somehow she knows, feels it in a blip of something in the air and the sudden lack of his oppressive energy. She is alone. Alone.....

Alone.

Broken and alone and she just wants, so desperately....

Please.

...... please.....

And Sans was turning on the shower to the hottest setting he could. The anger still there, raging, the haze and the blurr....

And in it all... static.

As he struggled to breathe-

But he refused......

Refused.

Sans stays in the water for a long, long time. And the warm haze of mist turns cold..  but the feeling in his chest does not. The static does not abate.

It only grows.


	72. Alone.. Together

_Her head felt so.... stuffy. Her entire body ached in some way.._  It's all those tell-tale signs that she hates. The signs that she's been crying. Crying a lot and openly. It's all throughout her body. Like she's been wrung dry. Her head throbs.

But as she opens her eyes..... Chara has never felt better in her entire life.

She has never felt so content to lay there and do nothing. Barely even move.

Laying their in their makeshift mattress... The three of them intertwined and not one of them intent to move..... The three of them.... Three. Frisk there, across from her, and Temmie.... there between them.... and Chara so desperately, desperately never wanted to let go.

The sun through the trees was golden, the afternoon slipping closer towards night- and she should get up. They should have never laid down. But crying, all the feelings of strange release and relief and the upswing of warmth inside her chest as she'd fallen apart. It had been hard enough of an effort to even make iti to the mattress. To not let them just stay there, huddled together at the edge of the trees... Together. All three of them together. They'd all been together. He wasn't lost. Wasn't gone.

Temmie...

He was there, asleep. And Frisk was there, asleep. And Chara.. felt content not to move. This was the best she had ever felt.... but she notes that perhaps it is just the comparison to before, that part of it was that she hadn't anticipated ever being able to feel close to anything like this ever again. Not numb... and even content.

Everything alright... Okay.

She actually feels okay.

Okay to just let them lay there.

To forget the rest of the day and not think about tomorrow until it actually comes.

To just lay there and feel okay.

To feel.. at home. Like she had thought earlier when she had first come apart and had hugged Temmie close. This is what it means.. to be at home.

Together with the people you love and who love you.

Chara lifted her fingers, rubbing gently at the top of Temmie's greyed out head. He moaned slightly and tilted his head, but otherwise did not stir any farther.. completely worn out.

She wondered, vaguely, how far and frantically he had to go in order to make it back out here. Not knowing what had happened to them after he'd dusted.. if they were alive or dead.. And...

How close... How close Chara had almost been to.. 

Chara forced herself to glance back up to Frisk's sleeping face... The sound of his breath uneven and nasally. And Chara... she ran her fingers through his knotted hair and pushed some of it out of his face...

The three of them together. Actually together...

Together...

With a chance to say all the little unsaid things...

And the things she has been able to say...

There were tears in Chara's eyes and she choked them down, not wanting to wake the others. She closed her eyes and put her forehead back against Frisk's and felt Temmie's warmth between them. And she kept back the tears.. letting them build up in her chest- and it hurt.. Hurt so much..

* * *

Chara was screaming- it was echoing around in his skull. Echoing over and over. 

Her frustration and pain, her crying- helplessness. Reaching out from beyond the other side of the door and yet- And yet.... she would not call out for help. Would not-

And Papyrus was frozen. Frozen and couldn't breathe. He hasn't been able to breathe since Sans had come home- Papyrus had not wanted him to come home.

That, in itself, is a terror. Freezing him-

He had not want his brother to come home.

But he had. Sans had come home, looking so much not like himself. Tired but restless. So focused and yet unhinged- Even as he smiled... so angry and unhappy and intent-

Chara cried out in pain again and Papyrus jolted. He can make out Sans' low, brutal voice but was unable to hear what was said- Unable to focus. To tell. Except flinch as Chara's voice spiked and she was screaming.

But she does not call out for help.

She's not calling out for help.

And he'd promised. Papyrus had promised. Only if she calls. He will come only if she calls. And he is frozen. Waiting. Ready to spring but also frozen. Unable to breathe.

Sans hadn't even seen him when he had come home. His brother had come into the living room and had completely not seen him. So focused on Chara beside him instead. So ready to hurt, so ready to use. With nothing else on his mind. So worked up by her entire existence and he hates her- Sans hates her- Hates her so much. It's terrifying. Terror-

Papyrus wants to run.

Either run to.. or from..

He wants to flee.

He wants to step in.

He's frozen.

He wants to run.

His brother.....

Forcing Chara to dance and the tension- waiting... Just waiting for his brother to snap. The terror in her red eyes. Those red eyes meeting Papyrus'... Looking at Papyrus with that same terror. Afraid of him just as much as Sans.

As if he could still hurt- Still-

And he had been frozen. Watching his brother keep her close. Threatening her and crushing the fragile bit of determination she'd gathered for herself just as easily as he was crushing her wrists in his hands. Crushing her... More and more.. As he.. As she.. As... And Papyrus stayed frozen.

Then in a moment. Horrible moment. The two of them had disappeared. Vanished right before his eyes and-

Chara was screaming.

Unable to stay calm. Unable to bite back the pain. Screaming out but not for help.

Sans didn't stop, his brutal voice only growing more intense- whatever he was doing to her following suit.. And Sans did not stop.

Papyrus kept his grip mercilessly on the doorknob. Unable to breathe.

Sans did not stop- but Papyrus can't tell what is actually happening. Can't think. Sans' magic assaults the air- Something wrong- And Chara's Soul cried out. Frantic and frantic, frantic- And Papyrus-

Papyrus lifted a hand over his sockets. Gritting his teeth..... As his own magic races.

This is wrong, everything is so wrong, he- Sans- they-

He wants to run, it's so hard..

He can't know what is happening but his mind offers images anyways. From what he knows Sans has already done to her in the past.

Since the day she almost killed Sans- The day she Spared Sans and Papyrus had done his best to keep her alive through her punishment.

Back then. Watching. Horrified but too confused. Still deciding that she deserved it. Holding her down by her wrists as his brother raped her and drew blood, Chara half out of her mind with pain and the magic of the tablets flowing through her. Papyrus just holding her down-

And it's getting worse and worse.

Each time, his brother- Something wrong- and it is worse each time.

And Papyrus is frozen. Torn up inside. Falling apart.

He can feel her... Feel her and this time there is no distraction. He has no excuse. No explanation to push it away.

She doesn't deserve it. She's a person. Loves, fears, and it's real- She doesn't deserve it and it's real. Not manipulation. It's real.... She does not deserve it...

And his brother- Something wrong- It's all wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be good, all of this, what they've fought for- His brother's HP raised, his brother safe- But it's wrong. So wrong- Papyrus wants- He....

Papyrus can feel the tears against his fingers and he does his best to swallow them down but he... he can't. 

He's trapped and the only thing he can do is cry.

Cry. Wait..

He wants her to call for help. He's scared she is going to call for help. He's scared she is going to die. He's scared he is going to stand there and let it happen- Frozen.

But he-

Yet he isn't supposed to- not allowed to-

And he's scared.

He's scared..... Scared that Sans really, truly, won't listen.

Scared.

Scared of his own brother-

Something's wrong. It's wrong-wrong-wrong- Her Soul is frantically pulsing- Sans' magic is biting. The pressure in Papyrus' skull- Wrongwrongwrongwrong-

Papyrus gasped and lifted his head up quick as for a moment- everything cut off- briefly, for a moment. Sans' magic. The energy from Chara. There is a brief moment of nothing....

Before the world seems to start up again.

Papyrus let out a breath he had been holding and quickly he chest heaves to catch up again- but the tears are still streaming- Papyrus still holds the doorknob tightly and shaking, unable to stop. As he was straining. 

To hear. Anything. To make out anything. What was happening. What is happen-

There is that subtle pull of the air Papyrus knows so well and he jumps at it; the pull of Sans using a shortcut. Frantically, Papyrus tried to figure out where, what, why- When he hears the shower turn on.

Papyrus let out another relieved breath and he frantically- frantic- he opened the bedroom door and rush in-

Only to come to an abrupt stop at the sight of her.

He is frozen again...

The day she'd Spared Sans... he hadn't known how to feel. Frozen mentally and fighting back against it. The doubt. Fighting not to care. He didn't care. Then days later, back to normal. It was back to normal. Everything back to normal- to the way it was- Everything as it was supposed to be-

Yesterday, he had fled. 

He had not been there when Sans had torn her to pieces. Making her take him in her mouth. Choking- his hand in her hair- Papyrus wasn't there. Wasn't there listening, hyper aware of it. He had only seen her after, in the closet. Only seen the subtle hints of it. The pain. And still, he had forced himself to ignore her. He would not Fight but he would not Spare. Did not care....... He had told himself he did not care.....

Today..... she is sprawled out on the bed, the clothes ripped off of her and there is nothing... nothing but the collar. Her legs are still open as she can't move. Nothing holding her down but she can't move.... As she kept her eyes closed and continued to whimper. Soft, wordlessly. Her breathing weak- difficult. And there is blood and cum.. Long lines where Sans' fingers had dug into her skin. The bruise around her eye that is starting to swell. Sans had taken no Mercy... No Mercy... And around her neck... There around her neck just above the collar-

Papyrus sprung back to motion as if something had snapped in him- As he rushed closer and he could see. The forming bruises- deepening red rings around her neck like a second collar. Strangling her- Someone- his brother- strangling her- All that time waiting for her to call, potentially call, and- Even that. That small bit of control Papyrus had handed back to her.. She'd once again lost even that-

"I'm sorry." Papyrus cried as he approached. "I'm sorry." 

She could have died- Could have-

"Chara..." Papyrus breathed, reaching out for her. Chara whimpered, shrinking in on herself but just barely- only as much as she could manage- Papyrus did not pull back. He puts a hand against her neck, another cups her face beside her eye- His fingers glowing to heal as best he could- and it's wrong- still wrong- always going to be wrong- but he wants to heal- Wants to-

He cares.

He truly, deeply cares.

He's not supposed to. Not allowed to. But he cares.

He cares, he cares, he cares-

The sensation is tight inside his rib cage and there were tears in his own eyes as the girl's whimpers grew just a bit stronger and she slipped into pained sobs. Her entire body shaking. Papyrus lifted her up, holding her-

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Over and over- A hand in her hair as he cradles her, and the other against her chest- willing her to heal. But he can also feel how closed off she is from him.. How tense and pulled back, wanting nothing to do with him- She hates him. She deserves to hate him. He deserves to be hated, and he is so, so, so- "Sorry."

The red eyes were closed and her teeth clenched- in pain, in frustration-  as she continues to cry. As she continues to bleed. As she.... She had managed to close her legs when he had gone to lift her up, but he knows if he really wants to heal her, he's going to have to... He's going to.. He also knows that he can't. He knows that she would not be able to handle it... Shouldn't have to handle it...

"I'm sorry."

Chara buried her face against him but he knows it isn't for comfort. It's to close herself off even more from the sound of his voice. It makes Papyrus.. It just amplifies how useless, helpless- He hadn't even known Sans was strangling her but he had known how frantic she'd been. How chaotic Sans- Sans....

"Please..." Papyrus begged. "Let me talk to Sans."

Chara tensed even more and made a soft noise as she barely moved her head- no.

"Please." Papyrus said again. "Just.. talk to Sans. To calm him down. I don't even have to make it about you! Just to calm..."

They can't let it go like this.

Papyrus can't. 

"Please..."

Please....

But Chara... She dug her fingers into Papyrus' shirt.... Her entire body... tense.... As she kept her eyes shut and her face hidden.

No.

Though it does not come out as strongly as she feels it.

no....

nn...

It's barely a sound, but he understands. Can feel. The hurt and the anger.. All of it justified.

Papyrus can only close his eyes for a moment, grappling with his resignation. He opened his eyes after a moment and reached into his jacket. The inside pocket where he kept his own, personal spare tablet for emergencies. Opening it and intending to break off a small piece to put on her tongue.

"Here..." Chara barely moved her face from its hiding place, she stared at it, not opening her mouth... Not wanting it... They make her feel so... so.. helpless. Even more helpless. Like a spring was deep inside her and drowning her out. Consuming her even as it healed. She reburied her face... She could feel him putting it in her hand, squeezing her battered fingers weakly and also a pulse of healing.... Just in case she changed her mind, came the silent message- "Let's get you out of sight."

His voice was hollow... but the tears were still there and Chara can hear them. Hear how it is hard for him to swallow.

But he has to get her out of sight. It's his only hope to calm Sans down enough to give up for the night. Just for the night.

Chara cringed and hissed in pain as Papyrus began to pick her up and lift her off the bed.  It was hard to catch her breath as he held her bridal style- and she felt re-exposed and she did her best to rehide her face- though it hurt. It all hurt- as he began to carry her bridal style towards the door. To put her back into her little cell.

But...

The thought.

An intense, even more dangerous pain inside her chest.

"Naps." She tries to say... Barely gets to say. But that, Papyrus understands, too.

Naps. Napstablook- her friend- something good. Someone she actually cared about. Someone... Anyone.. One thing- One good-

"Of course." Papyrus said.

The shower is still running, Sans is taking his time it seems, Papyrus notices and finds himself grateful. Grateful but worried, his gaze lingering on the bathroom door a bit too long when they pass. And Chara....

They make it to the living room. The television still on just like Papyrus had left it. But the closing credits are already rolling. It's already done. He can feel the disappointment in Chara's stance. The soft, saddened whine she can't help but let out as a new wave of tears lingers in her eyes but she has no energy to even do that fully. Just staring with watery eyes.

"I'm sorry."

She really is alone. With nobody but Papyrus.

Alone...

He's sorry.

Chara was burring her face and Papyrus feels no better as he forces himself to carry her away. Back... towards her little cell...

He's sorry.

He does not know what to do. The only thing he can think of to do, he can't- He's sorry.

And besides him, she truly, truly, is all alone....

She's alone....

Alone....

As Papyrus carried her off towards the closet- A crushed sensation in her chest. Something gripping tightly inside of her and surrounded by pain. And there is so much anger, it's choking her. Making it more difficult to breathe than it already is. And she is just so tired and angry and hurt... Tired.... and hurt...

* * *

 It hurt...

* * *

 Papyrus put her down against the ground, making that guilty expression he does as he looks at her and Chara closed her eyes again, not wanting to see it. Holding tight to the tablet he gave her, even as she hates him for that too. And she is laying there, she can't move... With her single blanket and Papyrus lifts his head.

"I'll go get the rest." He promises as he stands. Off to the living room again. To get her pillow. Her second blanket. He meekly closes the door and she is left alone in the darkness again. Alone.... And she just wants to keep crying. Just wants to hate. She hates them. Hates, hates, its there in her chest. As she lays there alone... completely, utterly alone in the darkness... With a rageful, hate-filled Sans and an incompetent, idiotic-

* * *

Chara kept her eyes shut, swallowing the tears, keeping herself closed off to not disturb- to keep-

A hand rested against her head and Chara gasped lightly as she opened her eyes... To see Frisk's own, golden watery eyes... and his stupid little smile. The small, little smile.... Chara smiled back, and as she does the tears spill over and there is no fighting them back. And the moment she does, there was a small, airy laugh escaping her... And she immediately felt better... Letting herself open up...

And this was home.

Home...

Frisk, and Temmie, and her...

* * *

 The closet door was opening and Papyrus was bending down, helping her rest against the pillow and the blanket over her abused skin. She caught him glancing over his shoulder, at the bathroom door that is still shut but she can barely tell that the shower is now off. That it won't be too long before Sans comes back out... And she can still see the fear. How scared he is but trying to hide it. To hold it back. Bite down his own tears that Sans in his state won't even be able to see.... 

How closed off. How desperate-

How....

* * *

  _....... And this was home._

Home...

Frisk, and Temmie, and her...

The River Person....

"Oh noooo...." Temmie droned later by the fire when they told him. Told him as they finally settled down to eat supper that the River Person also knew what had happened. They'd been going over everything... Slowly and painfully sorting it out. 

What had happened...

After he'd died....

Chara's anger, and Frisk's quick thinking.... Pulling her back. Escaping.... The River Person coming to get them...

The River Person... knowing very well.... about what had happened...

The dust... his dust... undeniable.

Temmie sighed deeply and lowered his head in resignation as Chara and Frisk said nothing more....

"There's no taking it back then... This time..." Temmie murmured to himself.

Taking it back.

Turning back time.

Making it as if it had never happened.

Chara was still wrapping her mind around that... Not sure what to do with it.. So she did nothing. At least for now. And she and Frisk did nothing. Waiting for Temmie.

"Alright..." He whispered. "Alright.."

Though he seemed to be saying it to convince himself more than anything.

"Alright.."

It didn't seem to be alright.

"We'll be right there with you." Frisk said adamantly. Meaning it fully.

Temmie shook his head.

"No...... No, this.. This is something I have to handle myself. It's about time I...."

Temmie sighed again.

"You're not alone." Chara said.

Frisk was right.

He was not alone.

She didn't understand, of course. Anything still, really. Everything that had happened with Temmie and his connection to The River Person and such, but still....

"You are not alone." She said again.

One of the little things she had wanted to tell him before but had held onto. One of the little unsaid things.... Chara's chest feels light as she says it. As she means it. A wave of tears moves through her but it passes and she stands firm.

"No..." Temmie said. "I mean..." He looked up quick. "Not like that, I get that.. I.." He trailed off. He seemed to be trying to come to terms with it still even though he tells them that he gets it. He still cannot understand. Not fully.... But even so.. "I just... have to do this myself. I..." Temmie lowered his head, "I owe that."

"..... What do you mean?:" Chara asked but Frisk had put a hand on her shoulder. When she glanced his way, she already knew, too... Not to press it. Not right then at least. There's already been too much and facing The River Person, for whatever reason, was already going to be hard.. So she let it go and didn't press it. She would trust him.... But even so....

They're not alone... 

Temmie didn't lift his head, still very preoccupied and she wants to help.... She's lost, but she wants to help... And Frisk feels the same. She can feel it in his stance. Frisk put his hand on top of Temmie's head and pet gently for a moment. Temmie tensed but in moments he was relaxing and giving in... And Chara can't help but note how far they've come.... From those days where the very thought of that would have made her flinch. The days where Temmie would have never even allowed it.... let alone take true comfort from it.

Frisk's hand stops and they sit there together in silence.... As Frisk and Chara try their best to think of more to say. To help distract... To talk... Do their best....

Distract.

Putting off the rest of the serious conversations and just letting it be... Just letting them be... There, together...

Together...

Home.

Frisk and Chara sat together on the shore the next day, watching from a distance, close enough to see but far enough not to hear.... as Temmie and The River Person stared at each other....

They could see Temmie's hesitation. Reservations... and yet, also, she can see, as Temmie was glancing back at them... Nodding softly before turning back and lifting his head high...

Determination.

Though Chara is holding her breath as Temmie got on The River Person's boat and they headed off together down stream...

Slipping out of sight...

And for the first time Chara notices the invisible, mental string that had been attached to Temmie since his return, and how anxious their disappearance immediately made her. The uncertainty...

But he was with The River Person... Together, they'd be fine..

She trusted.

This was important... even if she didn't know what.

Chara closed her eyes and took a breath. Holding it. Then exhaled. 

She trusted....

Trust.

She opened her eyes and glanced over towards Frisk....

But there was silence. And she was so uncertain again... What to say..

The silence....

Frisk rested his head on Chara's shoulder and her heart fluttered in concern.

"Are you okay?" She asked... because she hasn't really had the chance since Temmie had come back.

She knows he had most certainly not been okay before that.

And his silence...

The last few days... Just his distant gaze and silence.. his occasional humming cutting through the air but nearly nothing else...

"..... I was really scared." Frisk admitted, his voice cracking a bit. The pain in Chara's chest squeezed and she wrapped her arm around him, setting her head against his as he continued to speak. "He was dead...." Another stab of pain- Memory- "He was actually dead, and you... I was frozen but you screamed and I thought.... You were so caught up in and I thought... felt.."

Chara held him even more tightly. Tears already in her eyes.

"I felt I was going to lose you, too.." He whimpered.

"I'm sorry." Chara told him. And she meant it...

"I was going to lose both of you... I couldn't- not again, not- I don't want to lose anyone ever again-"

"I'm sorry...."

She's sorry.

"That's just.. the way the world is." She said, choking up. 

"But it doesn't have to be." Frisk said, his voice growing adamant again. Chara lowered her gaze sadly. 

She wants to point out... that everyone dies eventually, but she understands what he means....

The war. The killing....... The LOVE....

"...."

"It didn't have to be that way....."

"... I'm sorry." Chara said again. And she meant it...

She's sorry.

"There's nothing we can do about it... is there.." Frisk stated sadly... Chara's heart ached as Frisk's shoulder's fell entirely at the statement.

Nothing.

That's just the way it goes....

Just the way....

"I'm..." Sorry, she wanted to say. It is there on her tongue.

And yet...

At the same time.....

"No..." She whispered. No, not nothing. She turned her head as Frisk perked up in curiosity. His wide, gold eyes- Chara smiled for him. "Not nothing..."

He didn't want to lose anything.... But Chara...

"I never had anyone before." She reminded.

And neither had Temmie, it would seem. At least not for a very long, long time.

"Until the day I came back for you.."

And Temmie had come out to find them, too...

And she would have to ask why but a part of her knows... that draw... Temmie asking about Frisk when he and her had stared each other down, back in the Ruins....

Her smile fell.....

The Ruins....

Chara put a hand on her chest... Feeling the darkness, that calling anger that terrified her... The anger that had almost consumed her...

"I wanted to change you, remember?" She asked sadly. "Because I thought I had to... Change you to be guarded and cut off. To survive. Because that was what I'd had to do before."

Frisk was frozen but then nodded slightly.

"Why.... Why didn't..." He trailed off. But his tone... She could tell he really wanted to know...

Why didn't she change him? Try harder? Force it?

"...... When I was in the Ruins.. The LOVE..." She began softly. "I wanted to destroy everything. Absolutely everything... In Bravery, too... For the moment... But why I didn't is the same as why I didn't change you then... If destroying everything meant destroying you... then forget it."

She smiled sadly..

"Because there **_is_** one thing you can do." She told him. She cupped his face with her hands and trailed a thumb against his cheek.... "Just be you. Please... despite everything we go through. Please..." She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. "Just stay you."

 "Ch-Chara.."

"I love you... and that light inside you... And coming out here after The Ruins, that was the only thing I had at first to keep me going. You saved me. Time and time again..." She pressed her hands just tightly against his face. "Just stay you...."

And help her to...... to..

She pulled away from him and opened her eyes, her smile still there even if only a semblance was left.... She looked away towards the ground.

Here there is home. Here, she can cry and pick herself back up again without any fear or shame. Here she is allowed to care and allowed to love.. and be loved back.

 Frisk was hugging her and she hugged him back tightly... not wanting to let go.

"Just stay you..." Chara begged again. " Frisk squeezed even tighter..

"I promise."

Promise...

That light....

* * *

Papyrus...

She hates him.... there is so much anger... choking her... and yet...

He is risking one last wave of green magic over her and she can feel it... Feel him...

And she is angry... hates him... but....

Chara grabbed Papyrus' hand as he began to draw away from her and she held onto it tightly as the other hand kept the tablet close to her chest- Papyrus stopped and looked back down at her eagerly. Eager to listen... and she is angry... angry... but hurt... scared....

As she squeezes Papyrus' hand. As she gathers her strength... 

To offer the Mercy she doesn't even feel.... but knows it is the only thing left she can do... 

Papyrus is the only one she has right now... And can really tell.. his fear.. She can understand... 

She knows how this feels. She has seen all of this before. LOVE... and love.... How desperately he wants to help his brother.. And it's all on her. Her choice. And though she hates- doesn't feel it in her heart... Still....

"Help..." She managed, closing her eyes tight in pain. "Help him..."

His brother...

The one thing she wasn't going to take from them....

This chance to give his brother what Frisk gave her... Even as she hates them...

"Help..."

Papyrus cupped his other hand around hers, squeezing hers' between his....

"Thank you.." He breathed... And he means it.

Chara pulled her hand away and buried her face once again. Her hand gripping at the pillowcase painfully. She doesn't want to hear it.

"Thank you... I'm sorry..." She can hear him slowly stand and.. pause...  "I'm sorry..." And close the closet door. 

She is alone in the darkness once again.. She slipped the rest of the tablet into her mouth. The magic racing through her all at once- too much at once... And she began to slip unconscious again... Relieved for it this time...

Not wanting to know.. The mistake she might have just made... Not wanting to be conscious.. Aware.. Not wanting to be angry, hateful, tense.. Just wanting... Wanting... alright... At home... somewhere content.. Just wanting... home...

Her mind just slips away.


	73. Nothing Wrong

  _... Papyrus had been working away at his homework when he had heard about the fight._

Two of the other boys who share their room came in, chattering. Telling him in few details what they'd obviously heard but had not seen. Their tone was half impressed, half smug at the punishments ahead for the others. But all Papyrus could think of was, instantly and always- Sans.

Sans. His brother. 1HP.

Sans.

Papyrus was instantly out of the room and heading straight towards the main office. From what the other two boys said, Sans was fine, he was fine, had the upper hand even, but still. His brother. His brother- Always his brother.

The new disappearance of Undyne, again without a single word- had shaken him. The homework had been a wonderful distraction but now all that stress was channeled in what he might find when he gets to the office. If he'll be let in or not- His brother- Papyrus will force them to let him in. Would not take no for an answer. His brother.

Papyrus' magic is high and tense. His back straight. He tried to not let the fear and the unavoidable panic seep outward and be seen by anyone else that could use it against him. He was as guarded as he could be. Except for his noticeably quickened pace- noticeable if one just took the time to notice, but Papyrus pretended not to and took no measures to correct it. But he does half acknowledge his strong, aching wish that he could share his brother's inexplicable ability to blip out of existence and back again somewhere- somewhere he so desperately wants to be.

His brother.

To go directly to his brother.

The door to the waiting room just outside of the main office is closed. It is enough of a warning to anyone else not to enter but Papyrus does not care. He would go directly into the office itself if needed. No matter what is happening. He will be there with his brother-

But he doesn't have to do anything so drastic as that. He immediately sees them when he enters. Sans and Undyne. Sitting there together.

Papyrus felt a gripping tension in his rib cage release as his shoulders feel in relief. A soft breath escaping him. But even so, he can tell something is off in his relief-

Sans is leaning forward with his hands together, his head fallen and his face serious. Undyne looks just as solemn.

And yet the moment they notice him. The moment they lift their heads and notice him.. their expressions change. Smiles on their faces.

And Papyrus pretends not to notice the difference. He gives in to the relief.

As Sans leaned back in his chair, his hands now behind his head as he crossed his legs.

"Sup, bro?" Sans asked nonchalantly. Papyrus put his fisted hands on his lips and gave them a stern expression.

"You know what 'sup', brother!" Papyrus scolded. Sans laughed softly.

"Mimi was, for sure." He acknowledged. Undyne snickered softly and Papyrus faltered, curious, but at the same time...

"It has only been eight days since the last time I had to patch you up and you promised me to be more careful."

"I was more careful." Sans countered. "Should have seen how careful I was."

Papyrus can feel it- something different in his brother- something good. Something right. Something excited and happy. Something new.

It's the exact opposite of what he usually felt after Sans had gotten into a fight and it strikes him... He can barely keep his expression truly serious. Can't stop from the sharp, intense swell of tears at the feel of it.

"You won..." Papyrus breathed. But that something new radiating off of Sans falters, there is a small flicker in Sans' eyes. The slight hint of hurt. Papyrus stood up straighter, quickly correcting the situation as he kept his hands on his hips and enhanced the sound of confidence 150%. "Good. Just as one should expect from the Terrible Sans."

"heh.." Sans' smile returned fully, as if that moment, flicker hadn't happened. And it was forgotten. Undyne on her part raised a brow, her smile still there.. But Sans doesn't get to counter Papyrus, doesn't get to correct him: Sans The Terror. And Undyne doesn't get to ask her own questions, and neither Papyrus to her. The door to the office was opening and three tattered teenagers came out along with a bitter looking Ms. Nox.

Ms. Nox was an older, no-nonsense Madjick. She was floating and fidgeting behind the three teens with her hands on her hips- but unlike Papyrus she meant every fierce glare. And the teens under this glare... Papyrus looked them over in surprise. Mimi most of all. She was scruffed up and dirtied and Papyrus had the intense urge to know what had happened. The teens kept their heads down except for The Final Frogget who looked confused as it hoped behind the rest towards the door.

"Now get out of here with all your hocus pocus." Ms. Nox shooed, her voice already hoarse from yelling, her face red. The teen trio made their way past Papyrus briskly, not looking at Sans at all, they note. Papyrus can see Sans' smile widen just a smidge. Even as Ms. Nox turns her gaze towards them instead. She peered at the brothers and Undyne with strange eyes that you could just make out beneath the brim of her hat. She seemed to spark with magic and Papyrus stood closer to Sans' chair. "Now then. Sans." She tilted her head towards the office. "Please and thank you."

But when Sans stood up, Undyne did too. Ms. Nox lowered her head farther into her shoulders as she grit her teeth.

"I said Sans." She told them flatly. Looking at Papyrus who was standing closer now too.

"The others got to go in together." Undyne countered.

"The two of you are not in trouble for the same thing!" She trilled. then she looked at Papyrus. "You are not even in trouble!"

The new trio did not budge. Even as Ms. Nox chattered almost to herself now in her anger- not giving them a chance to get a word in edgewise- If you tried, she would just interrupt you- But it didn't really matter. Papyrus stood, feeling warm inside. Happy. Even as Ms. Nox set aside punishments. Happy because-

"Now get out of here! And knock it off!" Ms. Nox yelled after them as she shoved them out the door. Even as she seemed satisfied in her chattering... But still a warning- "I don't want to tell you again!"

The door shut and the trio stood there... And Sans was still smiling.

"Nox it off, huh?" Papyrus' smile widened at his brother's pun but then he remembered-

"You absolutely are terrible." Papyrus reminded. This made Sans brighten. And Papyrus felt... For the first time in two years, very much at home where he was.

Because he thought that maybe even Sans felt it too. And maybe a little bit, Undyne too. All of them together... In this together...

Actually, almost happy. Almost content, just almost there. This new sense of home...

And he was going to do everything in his power to not let them down. He'd do anything. Do his best and then even better. Better... with the three of them, together.......................

* * *

* * *

 ................... The hot water had been used up awhile ago. All that was left was struggling lukewarm droplets that leaned more and more towards cold as Sans stood there alone. Stood there looking down with the water pelting him from above, his eye sockets still dark, black voids as he watched the water collecting at the drain.

Blacked out eyes, thoughtless mind. Thoughtless and yet everything so noisy. So much flooding anger.

And then he'll see her face again in his mind and for a few seconds- what would have been his stomach flips and his mind has half of a single thought-

How many-?

He shuts it down, doesn't complete it, but its still there. He knows what it is. And still there is the image of her face in his mind.

His hands around her neck and he wasn't going to let go, he doesn't think. His fingers squeezing, keeping her from breathing. Crossing over some line, about to go over the edge. No return.

(Because it hadn't been helping. Not helping. The force, the certainty. It still had not been helping. He'd still felt-)

(Wanting-)

(Needing-)

And the look on her face. In her eyes. That pure, unadulterated fear. The one that makes him want to strangle her each time. To drown it out of her. She doesn't deserve it. To be that expressive. Doesn't- And wanting to strangle, wanting to drown it, and this time he would, could- crossing over the edge- And yet.. This time. As he did, as he wasn't going to let go... This time....

Seeing. _Why_.

 Why it pissed him off as much as it did- Why-

Because it's real....

Sans reached and turned off the water but made no real move. Frozen in place.. The inescapable image of her face.

When her guards fall, all defenses and determination. That's all she is. Hurt and fear.. And in the back of her eyes-

......... She's just a....

Just another...

Sans was sitting down in the tub, the base of his palms against his forehead.. And still there is anger- always anger- he just doesn't know where to direct it to. He doesn't know what to do with this. Any of this.

He's just angry.

Angry.

And it is that anger that allows him to stand up. He gets up and one hand is in a tight fist even as he grabs a towel and pulls it around himself and stands there on the rug. 

Tired and bitter and torn...

The exact questions and torn thoughts he'd raced away from the dumps to forget. To ignore... Every conflicted emotion. It was back full force and more. Her face merging with Chara's and he momentarily felt sick. He'd raced away from the questions and problems but they'd just been waiting here for him. They'd always been there... He'd just turned them into something else. Different questions. Different answers. And he...

Sans caught himself in the mirror. It's mostly fogged up save for a clear patch at the bottom and he can briefly see his own cringing mouth. He grunted, turning away towards the clothes he'd hastily grabbed off of the floor of his room in his escape- in his.. No, escape. His escape from his bedroom. From her. But the moment he looks at them. Sees them. He's frozen again. Staring at them. Hesitating... But he pushed through it. Because if he didn't he'd have to admit- He'd have to deal with it. And he very much does not want to deal with it. Because there are questions. About what to do. What this means. And he already knows the answers to these questions... and he doesn't... doesn't want to decide. It's too big to decide.

There's no going back after he decides.

And instead, he forcefully grabs the sweatpants off of the floor and begins to put them on with shaky hands....

And Papyrus found himself stuck in the hall, frozen and uncertain of what to do. How to approach this.... 

If he stands by the closet door he can guard it better. But in the end, he would also be dragging Sans' attention directly to it. To her. Standing in front of the bedroom kept the closet and her unguarded but also Sans' attention off of it. Redirected- and Sans didn't know she was in the closet to begin with. For all Sans knew she was in the bedroom. Standing in front of the bedroom. If could misdirect his brother. But it would still bring his attention and the idea back to her. There was no winning. 

There was no winning with this to begin with...

And as Papyrus stood in front of the bedroom door, he was tense and on guard, his fingers laced together as he played with them aimlessly. Waiting. Going through what he is going to say. Over and over.

But Sans isn't coming out. The shower is off but Sans doesn't appear. And Papyrus is starting to get even more worried. He'd taken such a long shower to begin with...

And he hesitates.... 

But after another second of gathering bravery, he stepped towards the bathroom door. And after even another second, he knocks.

"I'm almost done." Sans' voice comes quick. Maybe even too quick.... Papyrus swallowed, a lump in his would-be throat and a flip in his would-be stomach... as he opened the door.

Sans has sweats on and he is pulling a loose shirt over his head.. One of Papyrus' shirts. And he sees Chara. Standing there swimming in them. For just a moment before its Sans again. But he knows its clear on his face. The jolt he just had. And it has thrown him so off guard.

But in a moment he sees how tired Sans is though his gaze is pointed. Tight pinpricks of light in the back of his sockets. They seem almost forced.

Papyrus has seen that look before. After hard days of training. After fights and activities that took too much out of him. Forced and trying to keep Papyrus from noticing. Letting Papyrus know that he does not want him to notice..... Sans pushing himself to the edge...

"Sup?" 

Sans says it so nonchalantly. An invitation to play it off with a smile. Wanting Papyrus to put his hands on his hips. An You know whats up brother. To chastise him. Clothes from off the floor. Using up so much water- it isn't free, you know... But Papyrus... can't...

"Sans..." Sans isn't looking at him, he's looking over the ground, picking up the towel and putting it back on the rack. As if nothing is serious- nothing wrong- But... "We need to talk." 

Papyrus steps farther into the bathroom. There is warm steam lingering in the air, but the fog on the mirror is starting to fade more and more...

"Talk? 'Bout what?" Sans poked, lifting his head. Still smiling. Nothing wrong. Papyrus hesitated again. How he frames this conversation is the most important thing. And he has to frame it about Sans. All about Sans. Avoid talking about Chara at all costs. She's given Papyrus permission to help his brother but not to put her at any higher risk. To talk to his brother but not about her. Calm him down... And it is a fine tightrope to walk. In not revealing his full feelings about her while still being effective enough to help. But he...

"Sans... I'm..." Scared. "Worried." He says instead. "Something's wrong-" He interjects. "You're..."

"I'm fine, Paps." Sans assured. Nothing wrong. But it was quick. "I'm completely fine." Nothing... "Just tired if anything."

And understatement...

Exhausted...

Wrung through.

"It's been a long day."

"Not just today-"

"A long week, then.." Sans corrected.

"No.." Papyrus started. "Something's-"

"Nothing's wrong, Paps." Sans lied, this time speaking it aloud not just with his attitude.. Aloud for both of them to contend with. "It's nothing."

"Sans..." Sans gritted his teeth. The anger sparking. But it doesn't direct at Papyrus. It never directs at Papyrus... But then that means it has nowhere else to go... but himself. For not being able to keep it together well enough. For not being able to protect Papyrus from this. And he has to.

Papyrus. Cannot. Know. About. This.

Even more than most things.

Papyrus can't know.

Because there are only two options....

And Sans...

"I just pushed myself too far today and Aaron pissed me off-" But don't think into that- "But I'm tellin' ya, once I get a good night's sleep. I'll be fine. It's nothing. Nothing's wrong."

"..." Papyrus was staring at his brother, not sure what to say... Because he can't get through to him if Sans won't even try to give. "You haven't been sleeping..." Papyrus finally countered. Sans jolted a bit.

"Of course I have!"

Not true sleep. True, restful sleep. His mind always spinning in some way. Thinking ahead or behind. Caught up in things. Sleeping perhaps, but only just barely under the surface.

He hasn't' slept in days. Not since Chara had tried to....

"I'm fine...."

And Papyrus was frozen.....

Because his brother was very, very clearly, not fine.

Tired, restless, angry and hateful. Wearing the clothes he had ripped off of the girl he had just assaulted and raped... And he can't even know if he meant it or not. If it was just another added layer of cruelty or just a mad grab of clothes.. Papyrus can't know that. And everything he's seen is making him think it is meant to be the former. And he is frozen. With so many things he wants to say.

This isn't us.

This isn't you.

.... but it is....

And Papyrus doesn't know what to do and what to say... 

"Paps, I'm fine..." Sans said again, a bit urgently. Papyrus took a breath but as he did he realized he had started to tear up again.

"You're not fine." Papyrus said again, and he could see how torn Sans felt. Between brushing it off again and between comforting Papyrus. Or more rightly... How to do both.

"I'm fine." Sans said again. He just... needs time. To adjust. He'll get it. He'll.. He'll be strong enough to be fine. He just needs time. To work through this. Just needs time...

It's just your average cognitive dissonance.

It's fine.

He's fine...

He has to assure Papyrus that it's fine

.... It's fine.

It will be fine.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat and go to bed." Sans said, trying to escape the situation without it being obvious that he was trying to escape. But then the realization. Of what he is just going to have to go face when he leaves- He's not ready- needs a bit more time. "Will you do me  a favor and put- the pet away for m-"

Sans jolted as Papyrus wrapped his arms around him and held him in a tight hug.

"Please..." Papyrus breathed and Sans stared up at the ceiling, the lights in his eyes the tiniest of pinpricks as he stared. He can feel Papyrus' fear.... It's crushing him just as much as his arms. There were instant tears in the corner of his sockets- "Please, Sans.... You're not fine and I'm..."

Scared.

His brother is scared...

And that is not fine.

It was the opposite of what he was trying to accomplish in being adamant that it's fine.

"Please, Sans..." Papyrus began again. "Please... Take a few days off or-" No he can't ask that. Leaving him alone in the house- with Chara- "Please take it easy. All of this. What we've been doing- Just... Please. Please it has to stop. This just has to stop." But the potential interpretation of those words- "At least for a few days. Just take it easy for a few days. Leave her in the closet-" Though he chokes up as he says it

Sans was lifting his own arms and holding his brother just as tightly back.

"Paps..." Sans began but his voice feels somehow distant. "I'm fine."

Or more rightly...... He will be fine....

He'll be fine.

"It's going to be fine..."

He-

"I promise..."

Promise.

That word Sans hates. Hates promises.To make a promise and then finding himself unable to fulfill them. No matter how hard he tries. But this time. For his brother. He'll get through it and he'll be fine. They've come so far, so close to the end of the road to lose it now...

.... He's not fine....

There's a decision to make... A decision he already knows the answer to.. Aaron told him the answer just a few hours ago.

And he's not fine....

He's not.

But he will be.

He promises.

He just needs time.. To orient himself. 

To accept...

But right now all he can seem to be is angry.

He is not alright....

But nothing is wrong. Nothing. It's just going to take time.

Papyrus held him even more tightly.

Promise.

A promise from Sans is worth everything. But Sans' idea of fine... Is no longer Papyrus'....

"Just promise you'll take it easy the next few days. That you'll relax. Even if you go to work, at home you relax. That you getting out of hand like tonight... It'll stop. Please. I... I..." Sand felt Papyrus tremble.. "Please, take care of yourself.. Please..."

There's this feeling inside Sans' chest...

That one that makes you feel light and a bit teary...

The feeling of knowing that somebody really cares about you.

"Please... We've lost so much... To lose you, too, I..."

Lose..?

Oh....

Oh.

The realization, just the simple remembering of it. This simple fact.

"Your friend..." Sans began. His friend, the one he thinks might have died.. And Sans feels even more awful than he already does- For not paying attention to his brother at all.. To his own brother's feelings. "Your little friend, the Temmie.."

Papyrus was frozen again, holding Sans firm.

"I'm still looking..." He answered. And now... it isn't even a lie like it had been. Sans pulled out of Papyrus' grip and reluctantly Papyrus let him-

"I'll ask around, too." Sans promised.

And Papyrus felt caught...

".... Thank you.." Papyrus said. Sans' would-be stomach flipped again at the look on his brother's face. Sad and tired....

"I'm fine." Sans said again. "It'll be fine.. But if you could help me out, Imma go eat. Like I said. But if you could.. take care of the pet..." And the assault of emotions- but Sans pushes it down, angry at himself for letting it break through. "Thanks." And before Papyrus can say something else. Point out that Sans did not listen. Did not promise him to truly relax... But Sans is going, escaping through the door before Papyrus can stop him and even if he tried Sans would just blip out of sight and out of reach.

And as Sans disappeared... Papyrus felt so alone.

That hadn't helped at all. Hadn't felt like a conversation... Sans hadn't listened at all. And it felt like Papyrus couldn't say half the things he should say... Because they would just lead the mindset back to Chara. Make it worse....

That was one thing he supposed: It hadn't made it worse.

Chara wasn't in any more danger even if she wasn't any safer.

Chara....

Papyrus snuck over to the closet door and opened it slowly... But instead of a cautious, fearful eye, she was completely unresponsive. Papyrus felt a moment of panic before he felt her Soul. But with it... Coursing, racing magic... The tablet. He didn't even have to look to see she had taken the rest of it. She was shivering with it... And he didn't know what to do but grab another blanket... Pretending that could help. But it is all he has...

All he can do....

He's useless.......

And all he can do is find her someone else in all of this. Someone that isn't him... Someone who might actually be able to help her...

Temmie....

The Temmie with black eyes, the one called brother. He's never heard of it. But he knows someone who definitely has... And he at the very least knows where to start.

Papyrus stood up, looking down at Chara's death-like form, struggling to breathe properly.... And he can hear Sans in the other room, the moving of a chair, he thinks....

And he stands there, frozen in time and place for a moment longer, unknowingly holding his breath.... Wanting to act, wanting-

But he tells himself again. Reassures himself again.

At the very least he knows where to start.

 

If nothing else... he knows where to start.....

He's just gotta have a little patience...

Like Undyne always says in most things.... patience.

Patience....

Patience..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter is just me going eeeeehhhhhh......  
> But it gets the point across.  
> This was Papyrus' No Conversation karma.......  
> You can't have a conversation with someone not willing to admit there needs to be a conversation and you can't have a conversation if you're not willing to use some force and touch certain subjects.
> 
> ,.... we'll get more Sans clarity later.. idk when...  
> But this is the most Sans that Sans has Sansed I think.  
> Avoiding talking about his problems with a smile?  
> .... Yeah....
> 
> Will we ever get the more positive Sans aspects???? Who knows??


	74. Adequately Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And she started with the basics....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank the negative degree weather and closed schools for this chapter.... Though I'm not sure I got my point across but anyways....

_Patience._

_Patience, patience, **patience** , **patience**._

Undyne **hates** the word. Hates it.

She knows she is wrong to hate it. She knows that it is supposed to be a sort of virtue. It is simply a virtue that she does not naturally have. She's never had it. That's why she hates it as much as she does, and she knows that.

She's always been a bit of a hot-head. Quick to action. Brash decisions. Ready to fight and wanting instant results. This came from her sense of self-righteous justice..

If something was wrong, she wanted to make it right. No questions asked, as quickly as you can. It made no sense to draw it out... Hurting people like that...

Especially when the solution is obvious.

That was what had led her to the castle to begin with. What had led her to keep coming back and down the halls to where the Royal Doctor's office sat.... That was what had led her here. And why the entire effort was wearing her thin.. Why it was grating on each of her nerves so effectively. It seemed that with each little step and new tidbit of knowledge... it just gave her more questions than answers.

Instead of getting anywhere, it all seemed to be holding her back.

Keeping her stuck in place.

She felt completely lost. Frustration...... at not having all the answers even though she could feel that they were there. Frustration... at not having the bigger picture in all of this...

And the one person who could answer her questions and save her from that, well at least.. the one she was willing to go to..... He wouldn't give her anything to work with it felt like. Nothing but short responses and an expectant expression.

Dr. Gaster was.......

Undyne didn't know how to describe him.

He drew her in.. just the presence of him. Something uncannily familiar and she wanted to say welcoming. Like when there is a pleasant smell in the air that is linked to a fond memory- only you have just forgotten it. She couldn't deny it. It was there. It had been there the first moment she had been in the same room as him... Yet also... a sense of caution was there, too.... 

She couldn't deny that, too...

Something that drew her in, but also something else rising up in her stomach telling her to hold her ground...

She couldn't figure it out though.

Couldn't figure him out...

Couldn't figure this out... 

The first week, he had given her several books to look over. Books with words that made her head spin and she didn't understand all of it.... Most of it.

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be getting out of it. Books about physics, about magic theory.... She didn't understand it and she read the same pages several times. It all a headache. And more frustrating that she didn't know what it was for.

To help you become a better fighter, had been his first response when she had asked- but she could tell that wasn't just it. And it had pissed her off.

A better fighter?

There was only one way to get to that! Practice! Getting your hands dirty and sweat dripping down your scales. The heat and the static of magic-

The Doctor didn't say another word though. Only turned his head to look back out the window. Undyne had snarled. Him always pushing her off. Crushing her ideas and making her second guess herself- telling her again with his silence to try again. She had no equal standing here at all. He never took her seriously. Never listened. Each day she came out here, ready and resolved to work. To get things done. And he always forced her to wait. Always waiting...

Walking back and forth by the castle entrance, waiting. To be called. Told where to go. And then when she was there, being given nothing else but the silence and apparent expectations with no true guidance-

That second week- The books looked over, Undyne lost and answerless- the anger had sparked in her chest and she had stood him down in his office. To Fight, he said. But Undyne would stand for it no more.

If he truly wanted to teach her something about Fighting, then-!

She had summoned a spear.

Demanded-!

They would go somewhere wide and open!

She learned better hands on, she said.

But again, he had stood there. Hands behind his back.

"Very well. Begin." He had instructed.

"What? In your office? There's no room!"

"There is enough."

Undyne had snarled even deeper at that. Her eyes piercing as magic had flooded through her.

"Fine." If something broke, it didn't matter to her.

But the moment she started. The moment she tried-

The room around her went black- consumed in darkness- and Undyne felt the distinct pull on her Soul- it made her gasp. It made her see metaphorical red. The anger just racing through her, consuming her. All of it directed at the man in front of her and the Bullet Board between them.

"Don't treat me like a child!" She demanded hotly!

It's the angriest she's been since the first day they'd stood there together in his office. He wasn't taking her seriously at all! Not even giving her a chance!

Undyne pushed with her Soul, hardening it against the Bullet Board and attempting to break out of its hold. But in moments-

She couldn't move. Frozen. Green magic washing over her and she was frozen in place-

Grasped.. within his unrelented hold.

Undyne's breathing was quick, her eyes darted in alarm. The Doctor just stood there calmly. 

Two floating green hands hovered at either side of his head. The hands behind his back had not moved.

She could not move.

She could not break free.

She could not-

"So rash to act as always, Ms. Undyne." He chastened. "One must know the rules... in order to know break them. To act otherwise.. is a grave error."

A new hand formed and drew closer to Undyne's chest. Undyne could feel the pulse of her Soul at it's approach- could feel the danger it presented. She could tell that he also, felt and knew it, too. 

There was nothing she could do. Frozen. Stuck. Powerless.

Absolutely powerless.

Powerless.

He could do anything to her. Just because he wanted to. To her. To her Soul-

She couldn't breathe...

Her eyes opened wide-

The hand was just a few inches from her chest- from her Soul- when it stopped...

The hand vanished and after another moment, movement returned to her. Undyne took in a deep breath, leaning backwards and almost falling backwards before catching herself on the chair that sat in front of his desk...

The fear remained- the anger, too. And yet.... the shock...

"Flee." He ordered her. His voice stern and unwilling to entertain this any more- Undyne felt her Soul pulse again in unsettled fear....

Undyne obeyed.

The darkness surrounding them disappeared and the world returned. Undyne stood there... not knowing what to say. But one fact that stood out and that she could express-

"You.... You took the first turn.." She breathed.

"Defender always received the first turn." He reminded. "Do they teach nothing nowadays, in school..."

But he... He had been the one... to....

"You created the Bullet Board." She countered weakly.

"I was the one to establish the Bullet Board, yes, but I was not the one to start the Fight." He was smiling, something in his gaze, waiting.

That shouldn't have mattered, Undyne wants to counter. He had pulled them into the Board, she still should have had first Turn. To Refuse it. To push back. She-

"One must know the rules to know how to break them." He repeated. "Knowledge is power, Ms. Undyne." His smile only widened, it's the most genuine she has ever seen on his face. The most excited. "The rules that would be your cage can often be twisted to your own advantage."

"H-How?"

He did not answer.

Undyne wanted to protest again. Protest his silence. Protest it all.

But she bit her tongue. Knowing it was pointless...

Dr. Gaster turned away from her entirely.

"Read your books." He instructed finally.

And he finally said what Undyne had expected was in his mind all along-

"Come back when you have the right questions to ask."

And yet each day, each rash decision she made or calculated one, he would always say the same thing. Always tell her, she never learned.

And the way he said itl.... Knowingly. Bitterly, almost, even...

Undyne hated it.

Hated him.

Talking as if he knew her more intimately than she knew herself. Her limits and seeming to already know where she would fail... She hated it....

Talking, looking at her, as if he already knew everything about her.

Like it had already happened before.

In that other time.

That time beneath the ground.

It put her on edge. 

She didn't know what to think of it.

About any of it.

And yet with each new question- new demand- request for answers-

"Patience, Ms. Undyne..."

Patience...

She hated it.

Hated it.....

But there's nothing she can do by herself. She's not the one in control of any of this. All she has.. is her own resolve to keep trying. She isn't ready to give up just yet.. So she continues to face it head on in the only way she can; her nose buried every second in her books. Notebooks at her side to write out notes, trying to make it all click. To somehow rearrange the pieces...

Just pouring hours and hours into it, sitting by herself in her little acove that she had claimed in the group home- only coming out when Papyrus came in to pull her out. Only coming out to try her at the magic being described- trying to feel what she is supposed to be getting from this even if she can't understand it- But still, it alludes her. Or at least, if she is feeling something, she doesn't notice. And he offers her no help except in the form of an obstacle to overcome. Driving her. Her own sense of spite.... Her own resolve to get back up swinging with new and more elaborate questions!

All of them ignored....

All of them not what he wants from her....

What does he want?

She keeps at it. Teaching herself new vocab, dragging herself through each paragraph.... Looping back to read it again.

It reminds her of when she'd been learning her scales... Her fingers across the black and white keys- over and over-

But at least then, you had the sound to greet you, reassure you... You could know.... 

If you were getting it right and wrong...

But she was resolved.

She would learn. She would prove him wrong.

Prove them all wrong...

Patience.

She'd have the patience....

Sans came to get her out of her alcove one day, a concerned expression he was trying to hide.. And she didn't say anything, he didn't say anything... If she had said something he would have denied it. Told her it was just for Paps. If he said anything she would just remind him of the promise she had made- to not get them involved.

She wouldn't get them involved.....

Going to the castle each day. Traveling from the group home, there and back, and then there again the next morning.....

No one knowing what she was doing. She didn't even know herself.

Just pulling herself along. Holding things close to her chest.

Papyrus and Sans. The Doctor.

Patience.

...... The temmIe was always there.

The moment she left in the morning to head towards the bus stop, it was there waiting at the corner. It walked with her. Talked her ear off even as she hugged her bag tight and stared directly ahead. Unmoving. Her expression serious.

She'd told it to stay away from her more times than she could count, but the little Not-Monster with bright, light green eyes would not listen. Even her violent threats the first week had done nothing to deter them. 

Each morning, it got on the bust with her. Each morning, it got off with her. Walked with her. All the way to the front of the castle before it would stop. It would stare at her... so, so sadly... And ask her, pwease, notz to goes.

And each morning Undyne would go. Enter the castle and go... Waiting to be summoned. To be called and allowed in.

And when she re-emerged later, it would be there waiting for her. Excited to see her despite.... Still waiting for her just the same as before.

She hated them. Truly hated them.

Couldn't stand a second with them, so desperate to get back to the group home. To Sans and Papyrus and be away from temmIe and their chattering words.

She hated them......

Hated....

Hated how... The Doctor.. he just refused to be forthcoming. She didn't understand... She didn't....

Even as she tried to pry more information out of him. The timelines, The Queen, the Temmie that had all the power- About himself! Anything!

Nothing.....

Just a question aimed at her in return. A question about theory and if she couldn't answer it, she would be sent back to her books.

Distractions!, she accused. Or wanted to. But if that was the case, he would have never invited her back to the castle to begin with.

But why didn't he help her more?

She really did learn better hands on....

What was she supposed to be doing? At lest give her a hint! Where to start? What is it he wanted her to be asking him?!

There had to be something. Something, some right question.. About something.

She just needed a hint.....

She confronted him and all he did was grab a book from her pile and hand it to her-

Magic-

Monster Magic-

Color-

Undyne had left with that particular book under her arm with the others left behind- The book was four hundred pages but she already felt relieved to at least have this. One thing. One narrowed focus.

She'd asked her seemingly first correct question- where to start?

It had only taken her a month to do it.

She found herself in the group home, this time in the court yard for a rare occasion.. Alone while everyone else was inside working on their own version of homework after super. Undyne had stood there, book in one hand and she closed her eyes, feeling her own magic- trying to form what she had just read on the page into a physical manifestation.

Magic was the manifestation of feelings. Emotions. Intentions. A reflection of your very Soul. Their Souls the very accumulation of their being. Magic was just the extension of yourself...

That was easy. That was elementary school stuff. But to be fair, she had never thought it over before. Not too much at least. Not this closely...

Color magic was a bit trickier, but still rather basic. Each color with its emotional base or intention and eventual outcome. She'd learned all this in school, too, without much thought. The only color magic she'd ever mastered was cyan. Light blue....

Ironically, hatefully, the magic of Patience...

Though in Undyne's thoughts it was more about choice than patience.

Ordinary, white bullets hurt no matter what. Light Blue bullets gave out more damage but only if your opponent chose to move. Only if your opponent chose to Fight back. If they chose to give in, there was nothing else to it.

Of course patience made sense too.... If one waited patiently for the attacks to pass, then they could strike out themselves to attack...

And orange magic was the opposite of that, in theory. It forced your opponent to move. To Act or be hurt. To face the problem head on without hesitation..... Bravery, she read.. But for her it was once again a choice- Decide.

Forced....

Undyne lifted her head from the book, staring out across the court yard in realization.

Light Blue forced the opponent to have Patience. Orange, forced them to face the bullets. Forced them to be Brave. Take the risk, be Brave. But......

................. "Why?" She asked the next day. "If magic is an expression of the user than why is it reflected back in the opponent?" He had stared at her and Undyne had faltered. She wasn't sure what she wanted to know, either...

"What is magic?" He had asked her. Pressing her..... Leading... her....

What is magic....?

A Monster's Soul. Intentions-

"What is a Fight?" He asked more clearly.

A Fight....

She didn't understand...

A Fight was a fight. Forcing your opponent... A fight.

The Doctor had watched her, waited for her.... but she... did not understand what he wanted..

And he dismissed her.

Undyne sat on the bus, the temmIe beside her.

The book open....

And she stared at it over and over.

Light Blue Patience.

Orange Bravery.

Blue Integrity.

Purple Perseverance.

Green Kindness.

Yellow Justice.

Colors. Aspects. Feelings, emotions, traits....

She pulled the book to her chest, the pages against the front of her coat and she stared at her boots.....

"Arz yous okays?"

Undyne jumped, not expecting it. For the most part, temmIe had been silent mostly today. She glanced over to the bright green eyes.

.... Green....

temmIe had told her that The Queen had ordered them all to stay away from her, back on that first day at the park when Undyne had screamed at the top of her lungs.

The Queen had said, stay away, Undyne had said to stay away. And there it was. Still next to her.

She hated them.

..... She really did hate them.

They reminded her of Papyrus.

"You really are here on your own.... aren't you.." Undyne mused evenly.

"What means?" temmIe asked in confusion. "Iz nots on owns. Withs yous!"

Undyne laughed softly but her cheeks were burning- she looked away.

It's not the first time she's had to stifle it, a reaction like that, she realized....

Insulting them only for it to bounce off carelessly. Them talking themself in a circle and making themself physically dizzy trying to understand their tangled lines of thinking. And then simply dropping it completely. Like it hadn't happened. And smiling at her. Smiling at her like she had actually acknowledged that she had listened. Like she wasn't trying to ignore them.....

She turned back to them...

"What's magic?" She asked.

temmIe's green eyes widened happily, they were basically buzzing in their seat.

"Magixs is yous!" They said excitedly.

"Yeah, I get that. It reflects the Soul. But just..." Undyne sighed and put her head back, staring up at the ceiling this time. "Then what is a Fight? Besides.... a fight?"

"Hmmmmm...." Undyne glanced down without moving her entire head. Watching the temmIe's very, very serious thinking face. Bery serwious, she decided in her head.

"Iz thinks... its likes.. talkings. Yes. Itz talkings." 

Undyne smiled.

"I'm pretty sure a Fight is when talking runs out." She reminded.

temmIe tilted their head, seeming confused by this.

But Undyne....

Undyne felt something click inside her and she began to pull the book away from her chest. Staring at the traits... her smile was fading.

Oh......

Oh..

"No..." She told them. "No, you're exactly right."

That was exactly what it was.

Conversation.

If magic was feeling and intent.

The Fight itself.....

Conversation.

That was what he wanted her to understand...

The true, original purpose-

"Teach me how to use the Bullet Board." Undyne said the next day, the book in her hand, tucked down by her hip.

Dr. W.D. Gaster stood tall in front of her and a smile was cracking, true, across his face. Still, though, there was something there that Undyne could not place. Did not appreciate.

He moved a hand to the side, motioning her to follow. Undyne's Soul fluttered, regardless of her apprehension. Because finally, finally.

Though she still felt bitter... about having to work so hard to get here.

But as the world turned black and consumed in darkness. As she summoned magic and he summoned his- She began to understand. Everything she had read came back. And finally in the framework of conversation... it all began to make sense.

Why magic worked the way it did. Expression oneself to get the other to understand. Why magic use in its most basic forms, assumed an even field for each opponent.

Conversation.

Why did no one ever talk about it like that?

They just talked about force and submission...

Fighting then, she could feel the strange sense of pride in his magic- pride and certainty and something else- she could feel that he was also holding back so much- 

But the pride. It is there. And Undyne realizes something, too.... She learns better hands on but she also knows... she would have never read anything. Not a single thing... if he had done this any other way, if he hadn't held off, hadn't made her want to prove him wrong, to work so hard- 

..... Or so she thinks at the time.

And doing it this way, trusting her, believing in her... in his own way.. to get to the point...

Undyne smiled across from him as he prepared his next magic attack. Her next trial and error. To feel it around her. Feel and understand.

Undyne silently promised.

She's going to learn how to beat him.

How to become better than him.

And one day...

She'll figure out how to do what even he couldn't.

She's going to prove him right about her.

No matter how hard. No matter how long.

Undyne leaned forward as the world returned out of darkness, taking deep breaths. Trying to catch it... but feeling satisfied and rewarded....

"Adequately done." The Doctor tells her.

Adequately done....

Adequate enough...

But this was just the start.

Just the start.

Patience......

* * *

Undyne rolled over, searching for Alphys' body heat again but found nothing. Her hand stretched out across the mattress, but nothing- Her magic was racing, her eyes opening and her breathing hitched- It passes in a moment. Logical conclusions are made. Undyne scanned the room, but still... nothing. But still, that also meant nothing, too.

Undyne slipped out of bed, sliding her feet into her slippers and gathering up her robe to wear before making her way towards the door. She played with the rim of the choker around her neck as she went along.

"Alphys?" She called into the darkness.  Her girlfriend was at the table, fiddling with her phone.

"O-Oh.. D-Did I wake you? Sorry! I just! I c-couldn't sleep. I was trying not to wake you." The Captain said, starting to turn towards her. Undyne came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her and leaned forward. Immediately, Undyne felt better. More in control.

"But why not?" Undyne asked.

"Y-You don't sleep e-enough." Alphys began, her voice growing more flustered.

Undyne didn't think she really slept much at all most times....

"But I sleep so much better with you." She admitted and it was in fact true. It's harder not to take care of yourself when someone else is there to remind you of the present. "Come back to bed. Even if you don't sleep, it's better." Undyne kissed her neck and Alphys lost her breath for a moment. "We can cuddle."

Cuddle.

Alphys laughed a bit.

Right, right, that was what she had been talking about.

They settled in together, wrapping themselves together. Undyne let out a relaxed breath the moment she closed her eyes, already feeling a million times more relaxed. But Alphys wasn't so ready to slip away... Her mind still on all the things she's been trying to grapple with... 

"Undyne..." She whispered softly. Undyne hummed in acknowledgement and it takes everything in Alphys to dare it-".... Do you ever still miss him?"

Undyne froze, Alphys could feel it and she regretted asking. Undyne, though, buried her face deeper against Alphys.

"I miss who I thought.. he'd be." She murmured tiredly, but honestly...

Who she'd thought he was, she meant, Alphys thought incorrectly.

It makes Alphys hold on to Undyne just a bit tighter. The fear only enhanced. And she spent the rest of the night staring up at the ceiling as Undyne slept against her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Undyne coming up I think.... : /
> 
> yeah.....


	75. Royal Guards Don't Cry

_The worst things in life are expectations._

_Or perhaps it was just the worst thing in Alphys' life._

Having expectations and people having expectations of you.

It's so much pressure…. So oppressive- Why doesn't everyone just up and crack?

She keeps expecting to crack...

But she's not allowed to!!

Not expected to ...

Not supposed to....

Her father had all the expectations of the world for her. From the very beginning... She was going to be tough, join the Royal Guard and make a name for herself.

And she never said no. Never said that this was not what she wanted…

She wanted to make her father happy.

But if she was honest, and she wasn’t, it's always unsettled her... Everyone's obsession with the Royal Guard, with humans, with killing humans, with expecting others to also be super about the killing humans...

As a young child she didn't get it. Only the pressure. The drills she'd went through. The enthusiasm that her father expressed, and she did her best to act enthusiastic too.

But if she _was_ honest… Some other world where she was honest…

She wanted to curl up in the covers. To read and read and read- And occasionally she would claim to be going on a run, but in truth she was going off to hide away- read the comics and magazines she'd slipped under her shirt before she'd go.

She didn’t really have to hide it. Her father wouldn’t scorn her for having other interests, but it was just something she did… She couldn’t tell you why, she just hid it. It didn’t line up with who her father wanted her, thought her, to be….

And if she let out this one thing, two things that she liked, how could she keep in all the other things? How could she bare it? To look him in the face? After all the time and effort, he had put into helping her train. The time and effort she'd led on by pretending to be someone she wasn't...

So no, she doesn't tell him. She keeps up with his expectations. The lie and mirage.

The comics with their giant robots, flowery magic, the passionate romance and drama... It's only a little thing. Silly things. Unimportant things…. And the science magazines with their shiny, metallic computers, telescopes, and those scientists in their bright, white lab coats....

That was for some other Alphys... Not her. Not her in this world of "The strong do what they will, the weak suffer what they must", as her father said. Quoted... Though he could not tell her what from and only that it was quoted.

Alphys doesn't understand how it got to be this way or why exactly... But she understands the expectations. She understands that they exist.

They consume her.

Stealing her sleep, making her shake, making her throat clamp shut and she bites her tongue because she knows that if she doesn't she’ll stumble over her words and all over.

When it's really bad she doesn't talk at all and simply punches things harder.

It doesn't help, she's not naturally that type of person...

But her father is watching so she punches again, twice as hard.

She wonders if it would have been easier if her mother hadn’t Fallen Down when she was young... Perhaps not. It would have been just another set of expectations.

But maybe that was part of the reason her mother had Fallen Down. Maybe Alphys had already failed to meet her expectations and then she was gone...

Alphys knows this isn't true but she thinks it all the same. Internalizes it.

She also knows that the reason her father pushes this path for her so hard is because he has his own set of expectations for himself and not just her. He has to teach her, raise her.... And this is the only thing he knows. The Fight. The Guard....

He is expected to raise and train her. Guide her.

Alphys doesn't want him disappointed. In her or in himself.

She’s also afraid….

If she went after all the things she really wanted to go after, what would they have in common? What would there be to talk about?

Teaching and guiding her is the only thing that her father can bring himself to be passionate about… now that her mother is gone.

And sometimes he has that distant look in his eyes… he’s fading anyways. Each year she gets older. It’s like he is pouring too much of himself into her at the expense of himself. A thread is thinning and fraying and no matter how hard Alphys works she can’t stop it.. It’s a clock counting down..

And she is desperate. To make him proud- to reach the goal before he’s gone- (She doesn’t want him to be gone-)

Punching her way through high school- electric flare of her magic in every direction. Electric static like the burning static of her anxiety throughout her body. Getting closer and closer- Getting the special interest of the lieutenant in charge of her communities’ patrols. Special attention and recognition because of her passion, her dedication- what she knew was actually desperation- Special attention as she pleads her case to join the guard just a little bit early!! That it is all she thinks about!

And it is true, it is all she thinks about, though it is never for her. Never anything specifically for her- but the person she wants to make proud even if it is with a lie.

Holding the Trainee uniform in both hands, the badge of top, the letter of acceptance in her pocket… Racing to her father… His proud smile, his proud voice-

“Always knew you could do it, Al. Just gotta push yourself.”

And the relief Alphys had, as he suddenly had more energy. Seemed eager and excited to do things in this second wind of life.

But then that horrible call…..

Horrible knowing….

“It’s your father..”

Racing to her father.. The hospital and the knowing…

Her father in the bed, awake and smiling sadly at her…

But still… proud…

Proud of her, always proud, know you’re going to do great things. Strong and passionate.

But she doesn’t feel proud, strong or passionate. There is nothing great about her.

If he leaves her what will she have?

But he is tired…..

He misses her mother…

Alphys can see that he desperately wants to go…

She holds his hand, squeezing tight…

He’s done everything he can to prepare her for this. Made sure that she had footing. A job and a future. He’s done everything.. to prepare her for this. She thought she could be prepared for this.

But she’s not…

She scatters his dust across his old armor… A group of other armed Monsters stands behind her. All his friends from the good old days. All his friends who now put a hand on her shoulder as she puts her father’s armor with her mother’s favorite dress… Finally together again at last.

And Alphys dons her own armor. Helmet and all… Because that way no one could see through her. No one could see how much she’s only going through the motions now…

Aimless… Without a speck of that before-mentioned passion.

She’s just punching things because that is all she’s been trained to do and it brings in a paycheck.

She feels like she wants to die.

There’s nothing to this… Pointless….

Maybe she does want to die……

That scares her.. She pushes it away…

But the thought had already been undeniably thought.

So she throws herself even more into her. Working her way upwards rapidly. Taking those risks, dangerous risks others were too cautious to do… Rewarded for it each time… Praised and honored..

She feels nothing.

Nothing until that fateful day…

The humans- The blood.

The LOVE.

That swelling, powerful feeling racing through her.

It’s the first thing she’s truly felt… since she’s lost everything.

It fills in the vacuum…

It consumes her.

The honor and praise seem to mean something.

She. Wants. More.

More and more.

Like someone whose been starved finally with a full table of food in front of her-

More-

This power that drowns out her own self-loathing, her own doubts, her own sense of helplessness.

LOVE. This soaring, burning feeling.

She’s enjoying her work.

But it’s not enough.

She needs **more**!

Going to work, the workday ends too soon…

More.

She needs more. Wants more..

She doesn’t even notice how unrecognizable she is in the mirror.

She starts going to the dumps after work by herself- she knows what they say about that but she’s not a coward anymore, not like them, not like the old Alphys. That despicable loathsome creature who just couldn’t see the magnificence of this life. If only she had seen and felt this sooner- She wouldn’t have had to feel so torn and anxious about her father’s expectations!

They could have bonded even more… Genuinely..

Maybe he wouldn’t have faded like he did. Maybe she could have been enough and really what he wanted and not just some lying fraud of a daughter.

Fraud.

That’s what she was. Fraud.

But with the LOVE…. The LOVE she could change.

Be better.

Be true..

What she didn’t realize was how thoroughly off the deep end she was falling…

Like someone whose been starved finally with a full table of food in front of her-

Making herself sick.

But how could she realize it?

When everyone around her was encouraging it…

She’d never hated humans before. Not really… But now that she was actually fighting. Killing. Now she understood. Now she could feel it..

Hate, LOVE…

Hate….

When she started going to the dumps alone… In hindsight she would note how lucky she was…

It was right after Justice had been wiped out. It was right after the dumps had been swept. Humans were cautious and scarce… She’d find a corpse and scoff bitterly at the missed opportunity. Scrunch her nose at the smell and the disguising, bloating, dismembered figures.. She’d growl at the nearby non-monster dogs she’d find and resist the urge to kick something- body or dog.

Despicable, loathsome things..

Despicable… Loathsome…

Walking away from it, tears in her eyes that she didn’t understand..

Alphys stopped and wiped at her eyes. Bitter and angry..

She just wiped her tears away and chastised herself… Hating herself… But when she pulled her hand away from her face.. that’s when she saw him.

The boy…

He was crouched defensively, half hidden and frozen, not wanting her to notice him but she did…

His gold eyes were wide and staring.. Staring…. Staring at her…

He’s seen.

He’s seen her cry-

The anger, rage, hatred-

It explodes within her and Alphys was snarling.

**“You..! Spying, wretched little fuck!”**

The boy sprung like a rabbit to his feet and began to race away.. Alphys stormed after him, the electric magic radiating off of her. But he was fast and had the advantage in knowing his way around.

**“GET BACK OVER HERE!”**

Alphys saw the girl he had joined a moment later and the anger sparked even more- hatred, rage, murderous intent. The boy and the girl were racing away from her hand in hand… Dashing past a corner and Alphys shouted out in bitter anger as she came closer..

And she knows they are hiding.. They are somewhere around here, and Alphys was throwing things around in her search.

Cowards! Hiding cowards! Come out and face her! She thinks she says it out loud, but she doesn’t. She makes noises of course, but doesn’t make out anything intelligible.

“Hey fat ass!” Called a voice, the girl- “Go pick on someone your own size!” Alphys turned around to face her- the glare stern, her magic pulsing. This creature, this-

“Don’t you know you crush bugs.” Alphys seethed.

Just bugs. Just insects- She’s been training to crush all her life.

But Alphys can’t stop the boy from racing away as the girl calls-

“Run! Run towards home!”

Can’t hit the girl no matter how much energy she expels. The girl is quick and certain- Her movements are instinctual- keen to the magic in the air- It  also doesn’t help that she is so small of a target. Alphys reaches for her rhetoric-

“Honestly, I’m doing you a favor!” She says, thinking about the bloating corpses- the inevitability of it- “Putting you out of your misery!” The girl is undaunted and jumps through her attacks..

“You’re just a coward.” The girl countered.

Coward.

 **Coward**.

Fraud.

Alphys exploded.

"JUST DIE ALREADY YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU RUNT! YOU HAVE ESCAPED FOR THE LAST TIME!!!"

And the girl, ran…

"COME BACK HERE, RUNT!"

She does not come back.

Alphys can’t catch up, the armor is slowing her down…. But she can keep the girl just barely in her sight. Keep up… And Alphys follows her to the edge of the water, the girl crossing the river as fast as she could. And by the time Alphys makes it close enough, by the time Alphys sends a deadly shock through the water- the girl is already on the other side and rolling out across the mud and disappearing into the shadow of the forest.

“NO!” Alphys raged. She took a step into the water, but immediately- she knows- what little reason she has left- she can’t do it. She pulled out and raged loudly.

It’s not fair! Not fair! Cowards! Awful little insects! Fucking bastards! She hates! **Hates**! **_Hates!!!!_**

She does not calm down. It’s all she can think about for days.

Days and days….

Even at work, in the fight-

“You seem.. uneasy.” Someone notes. Alphys will show them uneasy.

She’s beyond unreasonable.

Going back for days and days to the same place. To the edge of the river, to the same area of the dump. Searching. Scouring.

She snapped, throwing things again.. Yelling to the sky- As loud as she can- just screeching- And suddenly she was sobbing. Sobbing and sobbing and sobbing….

And she was on the ground, broken…

The self-loathing and worthlessness comes crashing back down around her.. Or more honestly, and for once she is honest with herself… It isn’t that it has come back, only that her mask of power the LOVE had offered her was violently ripped away in her crashing sobs..

And she sobs…

Surrounded by garbage- Feeling like garbage.. Right where she belongs.

And she sobs…

Useless, worthless- Couldn’t even kill a couple of kids…

……… That thought settles inside her…..

Couldn’t even kill a couple of kids..

She doesn’t know what to do with it. How to feel. Chastise herself for not being able to do it or chastise herself for even trying. She doesn’t know what to do with it..

Except continue to cry… the sobs she has been holding in for forever- Since her father died- Since even before-

Sob endlessly.

Hatred- Loathing-

She wishes someone would come and find her but there is nobody…. Not even all those people who were at her father’s funeral- nobody. They were there for her and her career- this type of crisis? No…. Not this childish crying.

She wishes someone would come and find her… someone come and find her and finish her off. That girl- That boy-

She wants to die.

She doesn’t though. And somehow, she does not know how.. maybe it is the training instilled in her, ingrained into her- Muscle memory- Alphys picks herself back up and slowly, too slowly, makes her way back into the city.

But she is just going through the motions again- Home, shower, crashing into the bed- She’s late to work the next day- There are those that express their concern. She looks ill. Go home and rest some more. Been working too hard.

What is the point of life if she wasn’t at work?

But  what was the point if this wasn’t the work she even wanted to do?

But she’s put everything into this. Her father put everything into this. Making sure she was alright when he left. Had a future.

But what was the point without him?

Without anybody?

What was the point if all she ended up doing was just chasing a couple of kids?

Trying to kill…..

She’s going to quit. She’s going to kill herself.

It’s better off for everyone that way. At this rate…. At this rate, it will be some slow decent into Falling and that will just burden other people who have nothing to do with her.

It’s better that she kill herself.

She goes to work, one last time she thinks. One last time. She was going to go into the lieutenant’s office- She’s going to quit. Or no… Take a vacation- Say she just needs some rest- So he isn’t fully alarmed- Just something… And then…. Then….

“Oh! Alphys! I was just about to call for you!”

Alphys was frozen, watching as her lieutenant came out of his office and towards her excitedly.

“I’ve a special job for you!”

“I-“ She couldn’t get a word in edgewise though. Couldn’t speak up. Someone or something had stolen her voice. Her ability to function. To decline- To-

He was leading her to the door of his office. She makes out something like- General- Doctor- Escort-

Alphys is panicking but she is also solid stone and unable to counter. No, she wasn’t the best person for a job. Not the person for a job for someone like the General, if that was what she was actually hearing- Not the person to escort- the person to put someone or something important’s safety in her hands- she- s-she- n-no.. N-Not A-Alphys. N-Not her-

But she is dumbly silent… and stuck even dumber as she freezes. As the lieutenant takes his hands off of her and walks closer to his desk…. Where _she_ is standing…

Alphys has fallen fast and hard before, but never ever as fast or immediately…

The young woman- Alphys’ own age it seems and yet something about her makes Alphys feel so small… Maybe it is her tall and firm stance. The bright, white lab coat. The tight, pulled back ponytail and yet those stray bangs that circle around one side of her face. Her serious, piercing eyes that feel appraising as her hands gripped the clipboard in front of her thighs- She walked out of some comic book- manga- anime- The only thing she’s missing is the silver rimmed glasses. She needs those silver rimmed glasses.

“So do you think you can do it, Alphys?” Alphys found herself being asked- The lieutenant’s voice and more importantly the sound of her name brings Alphys back to reality. She jumps and tears her gaze off of the young woman.

“Y-Yes. I mean, of cour- Yes, sir.” She’s immediately flustered and embarrassed and has no clue what she just agreed to. The young woman doesn’t look impressed at all.

* * *

 

Alphys pulled up to the front of the lab and immediately Undyne was leaning over and kissing her cheek before giving a soft smile, "Love you..."

"Love you, too." Alphys replied as Undyne opened the door and pulled herself up... And Alphys simply watched her go... Mesmerized at having her and at the same time the fear- Always the fear..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I was wrong about the Undyne info dump thing.... Sorry... I didn't like it. My brain, it wouldn't write it.
> 
> Also I edited the last four chapters a bit but I'm not sure how important that is since the overall of what happens is the same... I just had the idea of what the framework for this section was.. so.. yeah..


	76. A Crack

Sans jolted awake- he felt like he was falling- he almost teleported out of the sheets in an effort to correct it. He caught himself, though, and with a collapsing sigh, he sank back into the mattress… Glancing over to the clock it glared at him in bright red letters- Only 15 minutes left until the alarm went off.

Sans has slept… not at all.

The jolting, the near teleport- That’s all its been. Every ten, fifteen, twenty, eleven, two minutes….

He’s exhausted..

Sans killed the alarm clock, sitting up and dangling his feet over the bed as he groaned..

He’s exhausted and he felt like death.

And he feels that with any sudden, loud noise he’ll be jolting awake again.

Sans stood up and drag out his uniform from the closet, dressing awkwardly. He draped his scarf around his neck but didn’t tie it yet… He half wanted another shower but he held back knowing that would only serve to worry his brother. Maybe if he got out and to the locker room early enough he could take a quick cold one to get his magic pumping and clear his head.

Yeah, he’ll get out early.

Sans exited the bed room and froze as he was forced to contend with the closet…

He stared at it, a strange, hesitating sensation where his gut would be. Then he snarled, the anger racing through him and he stormed past it. He refused to teleport. Refused to acknowledge it….

He would not acknowledge it.

It was not there. Did not exist…

He got out a box of cereal and began to eat it dry. There’s a few minutes left before Papyrus’ alarm would go off and he’s mentally steeling himself. He doesn’t acknowledge that either, of course. He doesn’t have to steel himself for anything.

Nothing’s wrong.

Nothing.

Papyrus will wake up, he’ll eat breakfast. He’ll feed-

Sans can see her face in his mind again. Her wide eyes….

Sans stopped short, a fist full of cereal half raised to his mouth.

There is a twinge of fear and alarm… and he’s thinking about Undyne… standing in the garage with him, in his workshop… Talking about Papyrus as she continued to worry..

Sans was in front of the closet door, his magic racing as he focused in on it.. He felt almost distant from himself as he unlocked it. Even more distant from himself as he opened it. As he stared down at her, the lights in his eyes gone…

She’s on her stomach with her face towards the door but she didn’t stir at the light flooding into the tiny space… She didn’t move. She’s dead to the world except for the breathing that shows otherwise. Slow and deep and yet you could hear the layer of pain through her parted lips. And her face….

Sans felt the long, sharpened bone forming in his hand. His fingers curled tightly around it.

Sans jumped at the sound of the alarm in Papyrus’ room and he immediately knows he’s lost his chance- He immediately knows-

The bone in Sans’ hand disappeared and he was quickly closing the closet door. The alarm in Papyrus’ room turns off too quickly, but Sans is locking it up again- He’s teleporting to the kitchen and grabbing his coat. He’s teleporting to the living room and heading out the door.

He’s not fleeing from his brother, he’s not. Nothings wrong-

Papyrus exited his bedroom anxiously, glancing each way… He thought he had felt something in the air. Some aggressive magic, the pull of a teleport. He just hadn’t been sure because he had felt like that all night. Waking up to a burst of magic, but unsure if it was real or imagined or dreamed….

“Sans?” Papyrus can hear the roar of a motorcycle coming to life. Papyrus rushed into the living room and peaked through the curtains- His brother was already leaving and racing down the street.

Everything’s wrong…

Papyrus made his way to the closet quickly, suddenly even more anxious than before and he hadn’t thought it possible. He opens the door of the closet but Chara doesn’t stir… But she’s breathing. Breathing and you could hear the pain in it.

Papyurs bent down and slowly reached out a hand….

“Chara…” He called softly.. “Chara…”

She doesn’t respond and before Papyrus even comes close to touching her, he can feel the magic still racing through her. The leftover effects of the tablet.

Papyrus looks over her face more carefully. At the bruise beside her eye that is greatly improved but not entirely gone like it would have been earlier in this torment…..

It’s another clear sign that even if she wasn’t willing to give up and beg, she still had yet another invisible timer over her.

There is only so much a body can take…. Only so much magic can restore over and over again.

She’s dying… slowly. Slowly withering away.

She doesn’t even respond to Papyrus’ soft touch against her shoulder. She doesn’t seem to register that he is even there. She’s several layers too deep, still too inundated with magic…

He can only let her sleep, he realizes…

Papyrus sighed and adjusted her blankets back more firmly over her. And reluctantly… he stood up. And reluctantly… He closes the door.

He does not lock it.

He’s about to walk away when he pauses again… He then backtracks to the door and opens it a crack. Enough to let the light in. Enough to let her know….

Sans wasted no time getting into the showers at the locker room but then afterwards did nothing but just that- waste time. Showering. Dressing again… Getting a bit more breakfast from a vending machine- It’s all what Papyrus would call trash food. He even gets some trash coffee… It’s as gross as Sans remembers it. It tastes exactly like trash. Trash water. He’s glad he can’t really gag.

He stays to the side and almost out of sight as his co-workers pile in. It’s not the stance he usually has. He’s usually up front, making his presence known. He’s someone that can’t be underestimated and ignored. He’s one of the biggest personalities in the room.

Today though, he’s as small as possible. Small and condensed….. In fact, there is so much pressure in his chest he feels he’s about to explode.

He escapes back into the locker room when everyone else is heading to clock in. To report to their assignments and start the day. He just needs another moment. To defuse… Get it back under control. Nothing’s wrong. His emotions are irrational- Nothing’s wrong.

But the moment he sees Alphys…..

Everything is wrong.

The anger consumes him.

She entered the locker room and the moment he sees her lock her eyes on him, he knows she’s been searching for him. He knows….

She knows.

She **_knew_**.

“Sans, there you are.” She began. She’s come to check up on him. She’s come to make sure he’s alright… She’s come to evaluate. To judge. Assess… And she- Alphys stopped beside him, but Sans is turned away from her and can’t see her face. Can’t read her fully. Only be caught up in his own anger… “Is…. E-everything okay?” Alphys managed, her tone shifting at her perception of- “Is something wrong?”

Everything okay? Something wrong?

Sans slammed his locker door shut again and he doesn’t think to do it, he just does- He punches it too for good measure, but this only makes it open up again- just a crack.

“How many?” Sans demanded. Alphys faltered.

“W-What-?”

“How **_many_**?” Sans demanded again. “How many stripes would she have?”

If she was a Monster kid….. how many stripes would Chara have?

“One? Two even?!”

Alphys was stunned silent…

“I.. I..”

Sans turned towards her, his eyes pinpricks of dangerous light.

“You knew.” He seethed. “You knew and you just-!”

Alphys’ expression was wide and opened, her mouth gaping…

“She’s a kid! She’s just a fucking kid- We’ve been fucking-“ Sans sputtered out and he clenched his fists again as he seemed unable to contain himself. Unable know where to look. At Alphys, at the locker, the floor. He doesn’t know how to express it all-

And Alphys…

“I thought…” She began, feeling light and torn up in her stomach. Sans bit down, clenching his teeth and he feels a torn up sensation, too. Cuz maybe he did. Maybe he had known and hadn’t acknowledged it. Maybe-

“You should have said something!” He counters back viciously. “You knew and said nothing!”

Still so desperate to deflect the anger and project-

“I- I said.. s-send her back. I-“ Yeah! So he wouldn’t find out! Sans is too angry to say it though, just glare at her, dare her- “W-Would it have... Would it have mattered?” Alphys managed.

There is still that wide, gaping surprise inside her. That he hadn’t known, that the answer to that question might just be-!

But Sans is turning away from her. He’s tense. Just so tense, but the pure raging anger is easing into a firm, angry resolve. He’s shutting his locker again and this time it stays shut.

“No.” He said darkly. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter.”

That’s not what she meant at all!!

But Alphys can’t speak up, she’s stuck in place as he begins to move past her.

“You got nothing to worry about, I’ll deal with it just like I’m supposed to.”

Alphys was turning around quickly to look after him, to find her ability to speak- she’s gotta speak!

“Sans-!”

“Aaron let it slip just so you know.” Sans told her. He stopped walking but refused to face her. “He told me you were the one keeping this promotion from me.”

Any ability to react was suddenly lost again and Alphys was filled with a sharp panic. An even sharper panic…

“I’ve had to prove a lot of people wrong in my life but never in a fucking million years I’d think I’d have to prove it to you.” The anger and sense of betrayal are real.. He thought she’d trusted him. He thought…

But this torn feeling inside him-

Sans left Alphys alone. Storming forward and he buried his chin into his scarf as his pinprick gaze glared ahead.

He’s going to do everything to show that she can trust him. Even if in the end, he can no longer trust her. He can do this. This, everything he’s worked his whole life towards. He can do this. Aaron and Alphys are right about what to do and wrong about him, he can…

He can…..

He can.

Alphys can’t keep doing this. The moment Sans is gone she collapsed against the line of lockers and took shallow breaths. She doesn’t know what to do with this new information.

She’s back in the brother’s house right after Sans had almost died- 1 HP.

Staring at Chara, turning to Papyrus..

_"S-Sans is going to kill her."_

_“Just like she deserves.”_

The shock and surprise at the blunt lack of empathy from the most empathetic person she thought she knew…

She didn’t know what to make of this, either…. She hadn’t thought… She’d thought he’d known… She’d….

…… Sans is wrong… in his assumptions… about why she had refused him his promotion for so long..

Not because she thought he couldn’t do it.

But because she was afraid of the fact that he so clearly could.

Or at least she’d…. she’d thought he could…

She glanced back at his abused locker door.. There's a small crack at the bottom- just barely open...


	77. Clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Scarlet Eyes in the bedroom with a...

There is light and shadow- Chara doesn’t know where she is. The world spins around her and she can tell that she is laying down by the intense weight she feels along her body, but that is about it.. Her eyes are barely open and she doesn’t know where she is. Vaguely she remembers and she can feel the collar around her neck, but vaguely in that remembrance she knows- The closet. The dark. There is light and shadow- Chara doesn’t know where she is.

She’s too disoriented and in pain to figure it out… She can only close her eyes and slip back into sleep…

The next time she opens her eyes, the world is spinning just a bit less. At first she still doesn’t know where she is- light and shadow- but eventually she begins to make it out. The source of the light- She’s still in the closet. The door is just open.

The alarm that races through her at the sight of it- Her heart races and she pulls away from it like some sort of threat. She can’t breathe.

She stays curled up painfully- oh so painfully- in the corner of her cell as she stares at it…

There is no sounds that she can hear outside. No brothers, no cat- Brothers…. Papyrus…

Chara breathed out in realization but still she doesn’t move. Even as it begins to click in place, she still doesn’t move… Because it clicks but doesn’t make sense.

She wouldn’t trust herself alone if she was him.

This is a test.

Trap.

She’s not going to fall for it…

Chara buried her face in her covers, but that is when she realizes the new blanket that has been added to her collection. She’s frozen at the sight of it and shakily she lifted her fingers to touch it, trace against it.

He means this, she has to remind herself. Tell herself. Order herself to believe.

He means this.

He’s not trying to be cruel.

Chara closed her eyes tightly, she tried to reign in her breath- She can’t breathe and her chest hurts. Everything hurts. She’s shaking, too, on top of it. She feels feverish and vile.

She’s crying.

She doesn’t realize when she starts, but she realizes when she takes too big a breath and it hurts.

Everything hurts-

She stays in the closet…

She has her face buried and she is working through the pain and emotions, trying her hardest to calm down because the crying just makes it hurt worse.

There is silence outside…. No cat, no brothers.. nothing…

Chara came out from the covers and stared at the light coming in…

She reached out her still shaky hand and hesitantly pushed the door farther. Quickly she pulled her hand back to safety- but nothing happened. It seems that the cat really isn’t there..

Chara stared… thinking…

She so desperately wants a shower.

A shower..

It’s the first thing that comes to her once she makes the decision she’s willing to risk it.

She wants that shower. Alone, the warm water… Getting as many traces of them off of her.. as much as possible.

Chara’s hand was against the wall, curled around the doorframe, pulling herself forward with painful difficulty.. She let out a pained yelp but kept going. She got herself up into a sitting position and she dared to open the closet door even farther.

There is light everywhere and it makes Chara dizzy and she has to stop as she reorients and her eyes adjust…

If she can get her hand on the door handle… she can probably lift herself up.

She can see herself do it. In her mind. Reach up with ease and lift herself up. And in her mind, once she stands, the pain won’t be as bad. She’ll be able to walk along the wall and she’ll be able….

She can barely reach the door handle.. When she does her hand slips off several times and the door swings a bit farther away from her as her heart skips- No.

No. She’s doing this. Getting this.

A hardened resolve is in her aching chest and she is determined. Determined. She’s going to do this..

She’s going to do this.

Chara screamed in pain as she pushed herself off of the doorframe and threw herself as forward as possible. Her fingers grasped the door handle tightly- not letting go and the metal hurt in her hand. She stayed half dangling off of the door handle, trying to catch her breath again even through the pain.. But she’s going to stand. She’s going to..

She began to pull herself up and another pained scream can unwillingly out of her- but the momentum- the little strength she had.

She was on her feet.

But the door was moving. Chara gasped as she was forced to take several steps with it, her entire body screaming in pain, before the door hit the wall and she slammed into it.

She can’t help but fall.

“Ah!” Yet another pained scream. Each one sends just another wave of pain through her bruised throat.

She lay helpless on her stomach again… Trying her best not to cry but the pain has tears in her eyes..

But she’s not going to give up.

One thing.

One….

Chara was picking herself up…

This one thing she was going to do.

If nothing else….

She has the door knob again. She was pulling herself up and this time can use the wall to her advantage as long as she doesn’t lean too far back. Once she is standing, she looked across the closet opening- It’s so small and yet the other side is so far away…

But she’s determined-

Chara pushed off of the wall and door and let herself fall into the doorframe of the closet. She hugged it close, the pain in her chest means nothing.

She’s back where she started on the other side but this time she is standing.

She walks agonizingly slow along the wall… Or more rightly… She pushes herself off of the wall just slightly, and falls forward before catching herself on another part of the wall. She’s almost there when she jumps too forward- When she slides down the wall and hits the ground…

She can’t move for a moment… Dazed and gathering herself together. Her breath- easing the pain…

Eventually she lifted her head….

There is nothing to lift herself up with…

Chara reached out a hand and pressed it firmly against the ground… And she’s crawling… She’s all but clawing her way forward on the wooden floor.

Always forward. Forever forward.

She’s got to keep going.

She’s not done yet.

It hurts….

But she reaches the bathroom doorframe and breathlessly she was using it to pull herself forward and inside. Wood changed to tile and Chara was near tears as she collapsed again entirely…

 But she’s there. She’s almost there.

Chara pressed down hard against the floor with both hands and forcefully- impossibly- pushed herself up.

Another call of pain that just caused her even more pain- her throat- her chest.

But she’s up… She’s moving…

Her goal is just within her grasp.

She was over the side of the tub and this time the tears in her eyes were victorious as she turned on the water. The cold mist spilled over the side where she was and it felt sweet even as it made it hard to breathe..

Looking around to see how she could effectively lift herself up over the edge- that was when she noticed the set of clothes there on the counter where they kept all their little bathroom, trinket things. Weakly, Chara reached up and pulled them- and with them came tumbling down one of those dreaded tablets. It skidded by her knees in its packaging and Chara stared at it… a sick sensation in her stomach but at the same time…

Everything hurts… The last packet… hadn’t done all that it was supposed to..

She picked it up and held it tightly between her fingers. She hated it. But she is also lucky, she realizes, that Papyurs had thought to leave her one… She’d left the one she was saving back in the closet.

All the way back in the closet…

The water is warming up and Chara puts down the stopper she’s seen Papyrus do so many times now. The water immediately began to pool and Chara struggled with the tablet…

It’s a lot harder than expected. Her fingers slip and she drops it so many times- It’s the fork again. She can’t function enough to use it. She resorts to using her teeth. She resorts to just getting the smallest corner open before she throws it into the water- plastic and all. The green begins to leak through the water and she decides it is good enough. She took a bit in her hand and let it run over skin… there is a prick of magic through her and Chara closed her eyes tightly as she forced herself- As she pulled herself up.

She slips into the few inches of water and it takes everything in her not to just collapse. To not just lay down and let the water rise over her- to drown her-

Drown……

She can’t entertain that.

Tem.

Temmie…

She needs him….

He needs her.

She picks herself up and rested her head against the side of the tub as the water rose….

He needs her.

She turned off the water and closed her eyes again…. Letting the magic eat at her- hum through her… It’s uncomfortable. Hurts in its own way.

But even so….

Even so..

He needs her..

Temmie still needs her.

Still…

Chara opened her eyes… There are tears again as she stared vacantly. The sense of victory and accomplishment at having gotten into the water is gone.

Temmie…. 

* * *

 No one seemed to know anything along Papyrus’ beat. Not a thing. Whoever he asked said the same thing- No. Not for a few months.

Basically the same answer Papyrus would have given.

He hadn’t seem his little Temmie friend in forever.

The TEMMIE Papyrus knew with the bright green eyes and cheerful demeanor…

It had started joining Sans and Papyrus on their patrol maybe a year and a half ago. Was it already that long? But yes… They had started to walk along with them. Talking. Curious.

Sans had enjoyed it because it acted bizarrely excited to his puns even when most of them flew over their head (and that expression would then, too), it would act excited to any cool feat… Sans had enjoyed their company. Papyrus on the other hand, well…. They were his friend. He didn’t know how to describe it other than that. They were his friend. Childish and ridiculous, but they were his friend….

A friend he hasn’t seen in a long while. He’d told Sans that it had only been a few days a week or so ago- back when they had first brought home Chara… but it was much longer than that.

Chara…..

Papyrus is torn about not being able to find them. On one hand, the one hand the worry is there because he doesn’t know what is happening- the TEMMIE had said to him that they would be helping a friend and may not be around but this was not what Papyrus had expected. Not to be entirely… out of the loop….

On the other hand… he’s almost relieved in some sort of way that he can’t find them this morning…

Because then he would have to explain Chara.

What he’s done….

The little innocent creature wouldn’t understand, he doesn’t think..

Papyrus is still trying to understand.

Well- He understands, but….

Well….

But on the third hand, if there was one that he could have, he’s worried by not finding them also because….

Chara.

He really needs to find them or some other Tem.

He has to for Chara.

Asking around to where he might find one get him a few more positive responses.

They’re always by the palace- Someone has seen them at the park, by the wall, Muffet’s even and the area by the lab.

It’s a good list of places to start but Papyrus feels irritable as he puts his hands in his jacket pockets and continues along on his patrol… His patrol that doesn’t take him by any of them.

* * *

 The green in the water has faded a long time ago…. The water has gone room temperature. She’s cold. Shaking. There is nothing left to do but let it drain and see what damage is left- if she can at the very least stand and not fall. That’s all she asks for. To stand. To not fall.

Reluctantly, she lets the water go but she turns the shower head back on… she lets the water pour over her, getting off any remaining grime… Or perceived grime..

She still feels feverish and vile.

* * *

 Papyrus kicked a can across the path, grumbling to himself, feeling despicable and vile. 

* * *

 Standing up is easier, Chara finds. A lot easier. She still almost falls but she can catch herself. It still takes too much effort to get out of the shower and it still feels like a weight is pressing down on her and it still feels like she’s walking on needles or that someone has cut her between her legs, but she can stand and she can shakily walk.

And she stands. And she walks.

Putting the shirt and pants Papyrus left for her is difficult. It hurts. But she can do it.

She can stand. She can walk. She can put on the layer of clothes.

She collapses against the counter after she does though… Needing to catch her breath. Needing to fight back tears- Her body hurts. Her head hurts.

She drank some of the water in the shower but she still feels drained. Hungry and drained….

She knows her next line of action but it nearly crushes her- So far away…

Food. Something to drink.

But it is a difficult journey she has to take. It’ll help her feel better. It’ll help….

It’s a million years away….

* * *

 Papyrus brought out his lunch early, sitting down alone on a bench and looked out over the area from his position. The cheese and rice was still warm thanks to the hot pack it had been on but it still tastes just not quite right to him just like it had the day before.

* * *

 The cheese and rice tasted just as glorious and rich as the day before even though it was cold. Chara had made her way to the kitchen and her reward was a bowl of rice in her lap with the lid open… She was just using her fingers again.

She can only eat a little bit at a time, and all throughout she’s also thinking about the cake inside…

* * *

Papyrus doesn’t even try to eat the slice of cake he’d packed… 

* * *

 The chocolate frosting itself is delicious… But the combination of yellow cake and chocolate frosting together is a blend that Chara… She wants to eat the entire thing..

She knows that is a bad idea. Impossible idea.

It’s already too much and she’s eaten basically… nothing.

It’s not fair….

But it will still be there later she knows….

She reluctantly pushed it back into place beside the bowl of rice. She reluctantly closed the fridge… She took another sip of her bottle of juice. 

* * *

 Sans threw the wrapper of the candy bars he’d bought from one of the vending machines before leaving base and he kept to himself as Aaron sat a bit aways, eating his own lunch he’d brought. Just eating. Nonchalant. Not a care. Not a thought.

Sans kept his gaze out across the edge of the wall and to the trees…He doesn’t look east to where the pillar of smoke rises from the dumps. He doesn’t look. Does not care. He’s nonchalant, too. Not a care. Not a thought. He does not care. He doesn’t….

Not a care.

Not a thought…

* * *

 Papyrus can’t stem the worried thoughts. 

* * *

 Chara was letting her thoughts think ahead this time as she continued to sit beside the fridge….

It strikes her, that thought… Just sitting beside a fridge full of food. Seemingly endless food. She can just sit by it..

It causes a sick sensation in her stomach and she stops thinking about it. She tries to focus. Look around.

The oven, the island, the little room off to the side where the laundry things were and the thing that warmed the water. The back door……

There is a box by the back door… Blocking the smaller cat door she knew was there.

 There is a sense of relief at that and she can’t help but be silently thankful.

She won’t admit it because Papyrus doesn’t deserve to have her thankful for anything. She shouldn’t have to be thankful.

But she does appreciate it…

She hates that stupid thing.

The thought that he thought about it for her too though….

She doesn’t dwell on that.

Standing up is hard…

But she does it.

She has to rest against the island for a moment… Catching her breath. Deciding where to go.

The house stretches out in front of her. Open. Empty. Too open. Too empty. Not going to stay empty. The brothers would eventually come home….

There is that sick sensation in her stomach. The fear. Apprehension…

But maybe… Maybe Papyrus will have… will have something to say. Something good. 

* * *

 Papyrus put away his lunch and began to walk along again… Knowing he wasn’t going to find anything good out here… 

* * *

 Chara’s fingers curled tightly into fists and she began to look around the kitchen. Yesterday, she’d seen nothing useful. Nothing really sharp or potentially deadly on its own. A spatula, a spoon, a fork but that wasn’t going to help again. Not in a pinch without the element of surprise- curse the magic Monsters had.

But really, it was curse Papyrus having very narrow cooking abilities and a lack of utensil variety.

Chara made her way out into the small room with the table and quickly out into the living room- quickly because she found herself almost falling and she crashed into the floor with a loud scream…

There was pain in her hands and chest…

Chara hissed as she picked herself back up.

Her eyes rested on the door that led….

The garage.

Chara perked up at the thought. She’s seen Sans come and go out of that door. There is a garage. Some sort of table with tools she thinks.

Tools….

Chara crawled a bit over to the couch and then picked herself up. Slowly. Surely…

Chara made her way to the door and slowly opened it. She peeked inside the darkness… She can’t see a thing- Her hand fumbled with the light-

There is a whole table of trinkets. A toolbox, too. A wrench just laying there. Chara’s Soul soars.

She took a step inside, looking towards the back wall-

Chara froze.

She’s frozen. She can’t breathe. Her red eyes are wide.

She can barely stay standing, her legs threaten to give out…

It’s just sitting there in the corner…

The canister- the little glass jar….

It’s nothing like a little glass jar though. Definitely not little. It’s half the size of her. Maybe more. Up to the bottom of her ribs.

All that talk about Undyne. Her Soul… She hadn’t realized… Thought…. She just hadn’t realized… She didn’t know what she thought…

It’s just there.

Chara took a weak step forward.. She thinks she’ll pass out- Is she breathing? When was the last time she breathed?

The glass is cold against her fingers.

She can’t move away. Can’t look away…

Seeing it….

There is this deep knowing…

She’s going to die.

It’s like the floor has crumbled beneath her and she’s on the ground. Her knees against the hard floor as she keeps staring at it.

She’s going to die.

……….. But there is Papyrus.

She clings to that. Clings.

That large Soul container in front of her… She’s not going inside it.

Even if she dies-

She’s not going to die.

She doesn’t have to die.

There is a chance she doesn’t have to die.

She…..

S-She….

Chara pulled the wrench off of the table as she escaped back inside the main part of the house.

She is shaking all over. She feels distant from herself except for the pain inside her. All over her.

She’s in Sans’ room and she can’t really think where to put the wrench. She decides between the bed frame and the mattress. It just barely fits and the sheet hides it.

It’s better than nothing…

Better….

She sees the box of…. Alphys’ old things…. Just the sight of it….

Chara grabbed it and she slid it beneath the bed as far as she could. Out of sight. Out of reach….

She’s shaking again. Difficulty breathing again…

But its gone. At least for now. At least….

Now what else? What next? Come on Chara… Next. Next. Next step. Always the next step.

Papyrus’ room. The key for the tablets, she decides. Just to know where he keeps it.

She pulls out and digs through all the drawers. She checks in the mattress. Nothing… The desk- nothing.

She looks at the computer.. The black screen and her own expression inside it. She sees herself in her mind- reaching and pulling the screen. Breaking it.

She doesn’t.

Behind her own reflection she sees the door of the closet. She bites down. Her resolve…

She opened it, her breathing is uneven..

She’s going through it aimlessly but suddenly…

A box. Chara pulled it forward quickly- quickly pulling off the lid. But immediately… she’s disappointed. Papers.

Chara deflated… She leaned up against the closet door and stared vacantly.                                                                

She officially doesn’t know where else to look for this key. She’d been certain he kept it in his room… Perhaps it was in the bathroom and she hadn’t noticed. Maybe… he’d left it for her to find. She doesn’t have the energy to go back and find out though…

She just stays there in another closet. Staring at a box. Papers. Papers with numbers and figures she can’t make out. A corner of paper….

A corner of paper… colored…. green.

Chara’s red eyes narrowed in confusion and slowly she reached out. She pulled the corner a bit and the paper easily came out from within the others.

Chara froze again…

It’s an old card…. On it is what Chara would describe as a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people..

Written on it…

“D.. on..t.”

Don’t.

“Frog… For…Get.”

Don’t Forget.

Chara was staring…. It seems so foreign and out of place here.. The people…

Sans… Papyrus…. Someone else taller than them that Chara doesn’t know…

Sans and Papyrus…

Someone who could be a parent, she thinks….

Don’t forget..

1 HP.

_"It's a..... We don't remember how it happened really."_

Chara put the card carefully back into its place. The cover of the box. The box….. She managed her way out of the closet and shut the door.

What next?

What……

Chara stared around the room feeling miserable… She sank entirely to the floor again and lay there… Just lay there. She imagined time passing. Just laying there. And Papyrus would come back and find her laying there and he would look at her in concern. Try to approach. She would flinch and he would apologize. He would ask her if she needed help- And she would tell him, she thinks…

Tell him about a ghost that came into the ruins and dumps. A ghost that became her friend. Telling about a family tradition. Laying on the floor and feeling like garbage… And he would look miserable and he would ask if he could join her. She wouldn’t say yes. She wouldn’t say no. He’d join her.

But as quickly as that image comes, comes the image of him holding her down in his bed....

Chara was crying again and she raised her arms over her eyes to hide it.

She hates him.

And she just lays there feeling like garbage and without a clue as to what it is that she is doing.


	78. Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and projection....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk

**_“You.”_ **

_The world around them was in chaos-_ screams, blood, dust from the collapsed ceiling and the blazing sensation of magic flying-  but Alphys recognized the two human children immediately…

The girl with her red eyes holding the boy’s shoulders as they also recognized her.

The memory is sharp for Alphys. The anger and hatred are immediate. The LOVE in her system has been blinding and vicious for the last month or so, ever since her promotion, and just seeing the two children again and the memory- The memory of her own weakness. The memory of her breakdown… The tears, the despair…

The magic raced up Alphys’ hand as she curled her fingers into a tight fist.

The intent to kill.

Kill the memory.

Kill them…

The boy and girl moved as one through the darkness and Alphys was chasing after them- They won’t get away this time! This time she won’t-!

She chased them through a make-shift tunnel and for a moment she fears that she’s lost them. But there they are… trapped between her and a sealed off puzzle.

Alphys smiled at the girl- her red eyes were piercing and Alphys smiled wider as she pulled out a dagger- both are ready to strike.

“Nowhere to run this time, is there?”

Alphys wouldn’t be made a fool of.

Alphys would prove herself.

This past failure. Once she does this- Then finally-

Alphys flooded the area around her with power. The bullets raced forward.

The girl cried out as she defended. Cried out as she fell to the ground.

This is it!!! This is it! This is it!!! This is it!!!!!!!!!

Wide, scared, red eyes stared at Alphys’ triumphant smile. Stared at Alphys’ charging, racing magic-

But what happens next….

The little, TEMMIE monster Alphys had noticed before but hadn’t paid attention to-

The array of countering bullets…

The dust..

It’s all in what feels like a very long instant. An instant that doesn’t make sense.

And instant that changes something vital.

Alphys is staring in disbelief- uncomprehending. But there is the LOVE flooding through her… such a contrast to what she

But she feels the LOVE. The feeling inside her.. But it is different this time. This time instead of blood, there is dust.. Monster dust…

And the girl..

The girl…

The murderous, horrible, wounded scream.

* * *

 

“Heeey.”

The call of his approaching coworker filled Sans with a mixed emotion. On the one hand, it was new people to deal with and on the other it meant he was a little closer to leaving for home… But that inevitability brought with it its own set of mixed emotions and he didn’t want that either…..

He doesn’t really know what he wants..

The other two guards that have been with Aaron and Sans all morning have moved to leave at the new pairings appearance. That’s the way it works. There are always two sets of pairs at each station, but which two pairs is staggered throughout the day. You arrive to your shift with your partner and relieve one of the two pairs already there and take their place. The pair you join will eventually be relieved and replaced as well. This continues.

It’s a good system. Sans likes it usually. It means you only have to put up with one person’s specific kind of bullshit for half of your shift….. It’s a good system… Except for the fact that his partner is Aaron and Aaron is the one he wants to leave most but is the one he is stuck with all the time and there is no break from.

Sans thinks he genuinely hates him sometimes.

He knows he really hates him now.

“Yo Aaron, how was the dumps yesterday?” Aaron was flexing and winking for his new audience. Sans grit his teeth and stared ahead, scanning the area like he’s supposed to. His job..

“Absolutely crazy workout.” Aaron stated.

Sans ignores him. Ignores them. But there is a ringing in his skull. There is a pressure- building and fierce.

Aaron’s voice cuts through him-

“You shoulda seen the way the little thing squirmed and begged. It’s precious little tears.” Aaron laughed.

Sans is ignoring him. He’s ignoring them. Ignoring it. It doesn’t matter. It’s-

“Thing was basically a baby still. It was just a quick and easy snap of the wrist. Almost no fun at all.”

But Aaron wasn’t ignoring him.

“And Sansy, here-”

Sans felt Aaron touch his shoulder. Sans felt the magic race through him. Sans felt himself turning. Sans felt his arm being pulled back. Sans felt it rush forward. Sans felt his curled, tight fist slam right into Aaron’s face.

“DUDE!”

Sans isn’t sure what happens next exactly. Somebody is holding him back and he can’t teleport without taking them with him. He finds himself trapped and he is raging at Aaron across from him who is being held back as well-

“You’re fucking sick! Bastard! Arrogant-” The words just come out of him- “Ihateyou!Ihateyou!Ihateyou!”

Sans hates him.

(Sans hates himself.)

Sans was down at the base of the wall alone, his coworker that had dragged him there had left him to get Aaron a pack of ice. Sans lowered himself down and sat with his wall against the wall, his elbow on his knee and the bony palm of his hurting hand is pressed against his forehead.

Somebody arrived, he can hear the gravel beneath their feet… he knows who it is without looking up. He knows it’s Alphys as she comes to a standstill and they don’t say anything for a moment, until-

“I can’t do it….” Sans admitted weakly. “You were right…… I can’t do it. I keep thinking about Pap an’ me. I keep…”

There was silence.

Sans shook his head and he swallowed it all down.

“Sorry. I’ll figure it out. It won’t happen again. I’ll… I’ll figure it out.” It’s his job. His job. “It’s our job. Kill humans. I’ll figure it out.”

He has to figure it out.

He built his whole life to this.

He’ll….

“Sans…” Sans couldn’t look up, especially as he can hear the tears in Alphys’ voice. He hates that and he can’t deal with that even more than usual. He doesn’t want to disappoint her. He doesn’t want- He-

Alphys was crouching down to his level.

“Your job is not to kill humans… It’s to protect monsters” Sans was too surprised, he finally looked up- She looks miserable. “It’s not always the same thing.”

And Sans… He…

It was Alphys who looked away this time, from his surprised and confused and miserable expression.

“It took me a long time to learn that.”

Sans can’t know it, but she’s picturing a young boy. A young boy with his arms spread wide to protect his sister. His bright red Soul. Desperation. Saving intent.

To Save his sister…..

And to save Alphys, herself.

“You can’t keep acting like this.” Alphys told him. Alphys was standing. “I’m ordering you to take a few days off.. Sans.” She said finally with as much resolve as she could muster. “You need to calm down. Re-c-center yourself.”

Neither of them are looking at each other now.

“W-What are you going to do with Chara?” Alphys asked weakly.

“….. I’ve gotta protect Paps.”

Alphys felt another sting of tears in her eyes…. But she nods.

Because protecting Monsters and killing humans aren’t always the same thing, but sometimes they are….

She hates that.

But she understands…

…. She’s known Chara was going to die for a long time… It’s just… still harder to accept then she would expect.

Sans was standing up, and he doesn’t feel any better about any of this. He began to walk away and Alphys-

“Sans, w-wait!” She called. He paused but didn’t turn around to look at her. “J-Just…”

Alphys wants to ask him to tell Chara she’s sorry but she can’t. Alphys’ shoulders fell.

“Just make it as quick and painless as possible.” She begged.

Sans didn’t say anything, and in a blink he disappeared.


	79. Kids Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the future....

_It’s amazing…. How much can change in just a day or two…_

Thinking Temmie had been lost forever. His return. His talk with The River Person and her talk with Frisk….

The Temmie and The River Person had returned several hours later, much, much longer than Chara had anticipated. Much longer. She’d begun to worry, but at the same time tried not to show it.

And it had been for nothing.. They’d come back again.

What the two of them talked about, Chara never knew.

It’s just that after that, there was a real, distinct change.

But she supposes that there was always going to be a distinct change.

The comfort and ease…… There was an entire level of worry taken off of Chara’s shoulders at Temmie’s revelation about his ability. Or she supposed… his inability. His inability to truly die. She didn’t have to worry about it. Feel guilty about it. She could also trust it… her own feelings. She was allowed to feel them. To care…..

And she knew he cared though not in the way that one usually thought about that.

And as the days past and everything wound down… everything turned almost back to normal except a lot better….

Chara found herself….

The closest she’s ever felt to okay… and maybe even… better than okay.

Yeah…… For once in her life….. She’s better than okay.

She’s calm….

She’s happy.

Unashamedly happy.

Unashamedly excited.

Each morning waking up in their camp with Frisk and Temmie. Doing their work. Meeting with The River Person every few days.

She’s happy.

Frisk does everything to make her laugh and it is so much better than his stark silence from before. So much better. She never wants that to ever come back again. His laughter mingling with hers is everything..

And that is why she is skeptical when a week later….

Her and Temmie were by the fire. Chara had been cooking her latest catch (and silently thinking about how they were going to have to move soon and the need to stock up on supplies and to finally use some of that money they had gotten from their fateful trip to Bravery)….

Frisk came over, a serious look on his face. Serious. (Determined)….

He knelt in front of Temmie, hands on his lap… That serious expression. Temmie raised a brow and Chara couldn’t help but mirror the expression.

“Yes?”

“Okay.” Frisk stated. His voice is firm. As serious as his expression but yet there is a tone of apprehension underneath it that Chara can’t help but notice. The okay is for himself as much as it is for Temmie.

“Okay?” Temmie repeated, his voice edging upwards. Pressing for the boy to continue. Frisk took a deep breath.

“I’ve got something to ask you.” He said finally.

Temmie immediately looked uncomfortable and it is understandable. Ever since his return… they hadn’t really pressed anything. Not his supposed identity as… the former Prince of Monsters.. maybe. The connection to the Queen of Monsters. His talk with The River Person…. Everything. They haven’t asked.

But Temmie swallowed, apparently trying to prepare himself to give an answer..

“Y-Yeah?”

Frisk’s fingers pressed tighter against his own lap.

“Is there a way… you could teach me about…” He paused. He looked almost uncomfortable now as Temmie but after a few moments the seriousness returned and he pushed through it. “That darkness.”

Chara froze in what she was doing and stared at her brother over the crackling fire. Temmie tilted his head.

“Darkness?”

Frisk nodded.

“T-The one that… My Soul. Those… glowing buttons.”

Temmie’s mouth opened in surprise.

“Oh! The bullet board.” Temmie looked incredibly guilty suddenly in the memory. “Oh, right… the bullet board.” He repeated more lowly. “B-But… why?”

“Frisk…” Chara began in worry.

“I want to be able to use it.” Frisk said adamantly. But Chara knows… she felt… The two times he had been faced with it, he had frozen.. He’d been terrified…

It’s wrapped up in a very uncomfortable, gruesome memory.

“I want to be able to use it.” Frisk said again, just as adamant…

Temmie glanced Chara’s way, but Chara didn’t say anything. She stayed silently beside the fire and the boiling eventual, squirrel stew….

“Well… I… I guess.” Temmie said finally. He began to stand up but hesitated. “Are you sure..?” Frisk nodded. Adamant. Serious. (Determined.)

Temmie walked a bit aways from the fire and Frisk stood up to follow. Chara found herself gritting her teeth.

“You.. sure..?” Temmie asked again as Frisk stood across from him. Frisk nodded… Adamant- “O-Okay…”

Chara stood up.

“Wait.” She began. They turned their attention back towards her. Chara felt breathless.

She just asked Frisk not to change…. And this…

“Frisk.. you don’t have to Fight. I told you..”

She….

“Well…” Temmie began, “They’re not _just_ for Fighting, Chara…”

“You can show that you don’t want to Fight.” Frisk said.

Chara and Temmie looked at him in surprise.

Frisk’s hands were tight fists and he raised them a bit, ready… even as he still looked so incredibly scared.

Scared… but determined.

Scared, but…

“I’m going to be able to use it.”

* * *

 

It’s a beautiful day outside…..

Birds are singing, flowers are blooming…

It’s, for all intents and purposes, a nice day out. The perfect day to just relax and take a load off.

Get some much needed sun….

Spring is here. It’s in the air. Everywhere. Like the hum of Sans’ bike beneath him. That hum as he rides thoughtlessly towards the house. Thoughtless. There is only something heavy settled inside his skull. Only the hum of the bike keeps him present and focuses on the road ahead of him.

He drives this route almost every day. He stops at the same corners, turns at the same places. It all looks foreign and distant from him. Stopping at one red light he almost shortcuts through it to the other side. Just to keep moving. He doesn’t think he can afford to stop. But he does. He stops. The weight crushes down on him. He was right, it was a mistake. He doesn’t think he will start up again… But he does. Automatic pilot and he does. He goes through the now green light. Turns at the same roads. He’d stopped at the red light because he almost doesn’t want to keep moving, but at the same time he does. He keeps moving. It’s his job.

Keep going….

He has to face this now. He can’t keep dodging it forever and he has to attack it… Head on, like they all liked to say.. Face it head on.

What he knows he has to do… even if it isn’t exactly… for the reasons he’s thought.

He’s not sure what to make of Alphys’ statement. He’s not sure what to make of her entire stance. Her surprising reaction.

It doesn’t matter yet.

He’ll figure it out later.

Later.

After the deed was done.

The danger adverted….

Papyrus can’t know what he knows. He can’t.

That’s what Sans knows. For certain.

And also this….

It still doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Can’t matter.

If it matters she’s a child, it matters she’s a person.

He’s known she was a person for a long time now.

Even if he didn’t tell it to himself. Didn’t let himself know that he was even pretending not to notice. Didn’t even notice he was pretending not to notice…. Because he hated her. Hated the idea of her…

The house. It’s there in front of him and the garage door is opening. Sans and his bike came to a stop and he turned off the engine… He took off his helmet and stood there a moment still sitting on his bike and the helmet gripped tightly in his boney hands as he stared at his workshop.

The glass cylinder in the corner….

His grip on his helmet tightened.

Quick and painless. Quick… and painless….

Or at least…

He doesn’t think there is such a thing as painless when it comes to death, but… Quick. Quick. He can strike her Soul directly.

Shatter it….

It’ll be a short burst of intense pain but quick.

Better than bleeding out, than broken bones or any other physical attack…

Just quick. Just-

“Yoooo!!! Missttteerrrr Saaaannnnsss!!”

Sans jumped and began to twist around on the bike.

The little neighbor boy everyone took to calling MK face planted hard on the driveway behind him.

“Careful!” His sister called, but MK was bounding up as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t just smashed his almost permanently abused face into the ground again for the millionth time. He seems completely unaffected. Smiling and coming forward again..

Sans on the other hand was very affected. He felt frozen and cold and an animal in the headlights at the two kids.

“Yo! Mister Sans!” MK called again as he bounded to a stop beside the bike.

“H-Heyya, kiddo.” Sans began, trying to ease back into his typical, calm, cool, and collected, persona. “What’s happen?”

“Mom finally caved! She said we could see the human again!” Sans’ calm expression fell. He felt even more cold.. Shocked.

“You.. You know about.. that, huh?” He asked. MK nodded. His smile is wide- he’s lost a tooth since the last time Sans has seen him- Sans hopes it was a baby tooth but he supposes it would still be alright in the end if it wasn’t- magic and all- It’s an off topic and distracting thought as his sister continues.

“Mother said we had to wait awhile before asking to see it again. So you had a chance to properly train it.”

Train….

“Right…” Sans managed.

“And we’ve been waiting so long, dude. More than just awhile! Eternity!” MK complained. His sister is usually more level headed but her expression seemed to be in complete agreement.

“I read so much about humans in my studies but the chance to actually see one!” She began again.

“Well Undnye’s promised to letcha in the labs eventually, right?” Sans offered.

“I know but this would be now! Not eventually!”

“I…. I don’t know.” Sans started. Immediately he is confronted with begging expressions. The girl was clasping her hands tightly together and her brother was nearly bouncing and if he’d had arms too, Sans knew it would be the same.

“Please, please, please!!”

“Mister Papyrus promised!!”

Paps….

His go to response would be… To wait for Paps. To be more sure. Secure. Or least yesterday, or maybe not exactly yesterday but the day before, that would have been his response. Wait for Paps. Today though, he’s not sure he even wants these two near her to begin with.

And at the same time.

Their expectant eyes. If he sends them away and they never get their chance how will he explain it? The questions he will have no answers to. And MK…

He is looking at him so expectantly.

This little kid…. His sister idolizes Undyne. Reads all the books and studies hard. She’s just moved up into her single stripe but she has the whole future ahead of her. What she wants…. A certainty that she can get it.

But this little kid, he’s something else.. Always looking at Sans for encouragement. Looking up to him. Maybe it stoked Sans’ ego…. But the knowledge that Sans had 1 HP and had yet had overcome it to become a part of the guard, it had inspired the boy to aim for the same. That his lack of arms and apparent disability compared to the rest of his Monster class didn’t have to define him.

“Is something wrong?” The girl asked suddenly.

“No.” Sans said too quickly. Deflecting. “No, nothings wrong… Okay.” He says it and he immediately regrets it. This is a mistake.

But MK is cheering.

“Yeah!!” His sister was smiling.

This was a mistake.

Sans was getting off the bike and setting it off. Setting the bike helmet on top of the seat.

“Oh!! Is that a Soul container?!” Sans turned to see the girl stepping eagerly towards it. MK had an awed look in his eyes as he followed.

“Wow! I’ve only seen these on t.v. or in your books, Sis!”

“Don’t touch it.” Sans said sternly as the girl reached out a hand to the glass. She pulled back quickly.

“Whatcha have it for?” MK asked innocently as he turned back around. His sister rolled his eyes.

“Decoration.” She said sarcastically.

“I’m just working on it for Undyne.” Sans said at the same time. The girl did not look impressed at the obvious lie but she didn’t press it again either... Sans felt like he was staring at a younger Undyne once again like he always did with her. Except.. not quite.

Undyne had to convince herself to love the science stuff.

Sans made his way towards the door and the kids followed behind. Sans stopped and turned back as he stood in the living room.

“Wait-“ But they were already in the door with him.

This was a mistake. He knows it. This is a mistake. Sans was cringing, but he curled his fingers together and pushed through it.

“Just stay out here for now. I gotta… Gotta go get her ready.” He’s suddenly remembering the state she’d been in that morning… He was going to have to find her something to wear. How does Papyrus get her to wear it? Sans has only ever taken it off… “Stay.” Sans ordered as he began to walk away.

……… Chara was frozen.

She was still on Papyrus’ floor, on her back… She’d thought she’d heard the rumble of the garage but hadn’t been sure. She’d been unable to lift herself up. To stand and figure it out. And then the door had opened. The voices. Several. Sans’ and others. Her immediate thought had been to Sans’ promise.

To _share_ her.

He’s said it multiple times. Some sort of party. Some sick-

Chara can’t breathe. She’s frozen on the floor unable to move and she is staring at Papyrus’ opened bedroom door. She sees Sans pass it. She sees him stop at the sight of the open closet. She can see how rigid he becomes. The speed in which he turns.

He sees her immediately and his panic that he’d just felt transforms into an immediate rage. Everything he has felt, the doubt and everything, it vanishes as he sees her. Her laying there in Papyrus’ room. Papyrus’ room of all places. It removes all rational thinking abilities from him. It doesn’t matter. Never matters when it comes to any sort of perceived threat to Papyrus.

 **“What are you doing in here?”** He demanded as he stormed in the door. Chara let out a weak scream as she curled up protectively. Her entire body hurt but she curled. Her knees to her chest, her arms in front of her face as she twisted to her side. The intense fear at the memory- When he had come home to find her in the closet that was unlocked.

_“You’re all wet.”_

Just the thought she could have done something to his brother and showered to get rid of the evidence. Just the brief thought proven false by her level LOVE…

This is the exact same anger. Consuming him.

And Chara could remember the pain from last time distinctly. Being forced to her knees, her mouth opening- choking- the pain in her throat- the pain in her hair-

And this time he seems to have company- Maybe the same people he went to the dumps with the day before- The same LOVE fueled-

Despite the pain in her aching body, she is curled up as tightly as she could be but she knows that it won’t hinder him at all. She’ll be pried open in an instant. Torn apart. Torn and pulled and-

Sans had frozen above her though at her intense reaction. The anger is still there but he was stuck for a moment staring… He pushed forward though and took a step closer. Cautiously he began to crouch down and lifted a hand towards her hair. Chara buried herself deeper into her arms at the approach, but Sans slowly… put his fingers through her hair.

“Heyya there, pet…” He said softly.

It terrifies Chara even more than before. More than anything else ever. The unaccustomed softness. The apprehension and waiting for it to snap. For his fingers to curl violently and yank her head up.

Sans refused to swallow, he continued trying to sound confident.

“I got a few people here excited to meetcha.”

He ran his fingers through her hair again and Chara found she was shivering even as she managed not to cry. Sans sighed, he couldn’t help the bit of irritation….

The frustration…

He doesn’t think it is at her denial to open up though… just that he is in this situation to begin with. That…..

He’s just irritated.

Looking at her…. Even knowing what he knows….

He still hates her, he realizes. Or at least… those feelings are still there. There’s just this strange duality to it now. Something… he still can’t….

Sans bit down.

He’d figure it out. He’ll work it out.

But right now.

Sans grabbed her wrists and began to pull her upwards. Chara gasped as she was forced to sit up. It takes her too much energy to keep her head from falling back limply. Her feet do give way though as she is forced to stand and her body cries out from the weight. Sans pulled harder, forcing her body to comply anyways. Forcing her to stand… even as shakily as it is.

“Yooo…” There was the low, awed drone and Chara gasped as she glanced to the bedroom door. Two young heads were peaking around the frame, their eyes…

Chara’s heart skipped at the sight of them and her stomach twisted in intense knots. Sans was supporting her, an arm around her shoulders and she was pressed up against him.

“I told you to wait.” Sans chastised… surprising aggressively. But it was too late now.. “She’s manipulative and dangerous.” He said.. Giving the talking point faithfully. The two kids didn’t seem phased as they entered the bedroom.

“But you’re here!” MK stated.

Yeah… and he’s even more manipulative and dangerous…..

Sans had his grip even tighter around Chara and she- to say she was panicking was an understatement. She knew, or at least thought, it was playing into his hand, but Chara turned her head… hiding her face against the front of his uniform. Hiding in the semi-darkness offered there.

Hearing them… when she was blind folded and the unknown had stretched before her… it had been bad enough then. Now… it is even worse. To be able to see them.. Her only escape…

“What’s its name?” The boy asked, his voice so curious. So unseeing of her..

“You don’t call them their names.” The girl stated firmly. “Doing so just gives them more room to manipulate you.”

“Oh…. But you call it something right? Is it a boy or girl?” Chara did her best to hide even more against Sans. And Sans…. He was staring at the top of her head in surprise at the action.

He’d expected…. A lot more aggression. Not this.. And definitely not her…. Her pressing herself against him in any way…. was unimaginable.

But there she was…

Sans put a hand on top of her head and Chara lifted her shoulders up protectively.

“She’s just the pet.” He said evenly.

“Have you taught her any cool tricks?” MK pressed.

“It’s probably been enough just to get her to behave.” His sister said scornfully. “You really think letting her roam around the house alone is a good idea? What if she broke something? Laid in wait to ambush you? I don’t think Dr. Undyne would condone that.”

No, Sans agreed. He didn’t think Undyne would condone that. He’s not sure what she was doing out regardless…. Did he forget to lock the door this morning? But wait, Paps would have been the one… Maybe he was too distracted and worried about Sans to notice….

The guilt was pressing upwards in Sans’ chest again.

“How do you play with her?” MK continued….

Play…

Chara was even more tense, he could feel her shake, swallow something down.

“Nothing special.” Sans lied…..

“Why won’t she look at us?”

“What color is her Soul?” The sister asked.

“Oh!! Can we see it?!”

“I-“

“OH!! Maybe you can show us some of your moves!!!”

“Yeah!” The sister joined in just excitedly this time. “You have LOVE now! You’re HP! You can show off everything more safely!”

And she had been the one just talking about if it was wise to let the human roam free..

This is a mistake.

“Please! Please! Please!”

“Mister Papyrus would let us!”

Sans isn’t too sure about that one but he is caught in place.

He refuses to look down at Chara, having her hair through his fingers is mistake enough. Letting her stay hidden against him and not facing this is mistake enough…

….. It doesn’t matter.

He can feel his chest hollowing out. His gaze more serious.

It doesn’t matter.

This was a good thing.

Finding her in Papyrus’ room doing who knows what. Nothing good. She’s not innocent after all. She has LOVE. She’s made it clear. The first thing she did coming here was attack his brother. And the kids coming and greeting him… that was a good thing. Yeah. Monsters and Humans. Humans and Monsters. They are the people he is supposed to protect. The people that matter. The kids that matter….

The real kids like him.

The kids he has to protect…. Like Paps.

The one he has to keep going on acting like nothing’s wrong…

It doesn’t matter.

Doesn’t…

“Alright. Alright.”

“Yeaaah!!”

“Yes!”

Chara gasped as he pulled her away from him. Forced her to face forward. Her terrified expression. Her trying to lean back against him. Away from the two excited, staring kids…

“Let’s go outside!!” MK cheered, he turned to run towards the back door but face planted in two seconds. His sister didn’t even chastise him this time, too excited too.

Chara’s heart was racing but Sans didn’t stop. He just pulled her forward. Forward…. Towards the living room. Towards the kitchen. Towards the room with the laundry things and the backdoor. The kids opening it- moving the box- And Chara… No matter how much she dragged her feet. Pulled back. Sans just pulled harder. She wants to beg- Plead- She can’t.

She’s being dragged out into the sunlight- she’s blinking furiously… both at the change of light and the tears she’s trying to blink back. She’s being all but thrown forward… Sans isn’t holding her anymore. She can’t breathe- She’s standing in the middle of the backyard and she can’t breathe… She can’t really see clearly-

This is the first time.. she’s been outside… since coming here. There is a tree in the back, the mountain visible in the distance over the fence- Turning back quickly towards the house, her legs are giving out but her Soul is being summoned. She can feel the pulse of intent in the air. The intent- the desire and call for Violence. For her blood, she knows. The excited eyes of the boy bouncing in place. The girl with her gleeful smirk. Just as excited but trying to look mature, dignified… And Sans…

He is looking right through her his hand raised out- a small flash of blue and then a small flash of yellow in his left socket. Her Soul is Blue but this time instead of pressing her down, she is being kept standing. If he were to let her go she would collapse. She’s panicking……

She sees Frisk in her mind…..

Standing there- The Ruins- A couple of kids- The waters beside them- His red Soul but confident smile- His patience- Level head- She can’t- She can’t- She-

She sees Frisk in her mind….

Younger- Scared- His red Soul and Temmie across from him- Wanting to run- Standing firm.

Determined.

Always determined.

He was going to learn a different kind of Fight.

Sans was forming bones and sending them towards her. She can hear his low voice, trying to explain something to the young boy beside him but the boy doesn’t seem able to concentrate enough to comprehend it. Chara can’t concentrate enough to comprehend it-

Sans’ magic maneuvered her through the attacks and she fumbled around any time that her feet were able to gain any footing.

She already knew the reaction she would get but she was desperate… Desperate. Chara reached out her intent along with her hand.

It’s easier than with Papyrus because of that… having her hands free. She can use them to facilitate the action. As she pictures the yellow buttons in her mind. As she calls to Sans’ Soul with her own exposed-

Sans felt the pull and he recoiled from the sensation automatically like putting his hand on something hot…… Or more accurately.. something incredibly cold. Burning cold… The shock is there- He rejects it. He shoves it away. The bullet board does not form.

Chara stumbled and she fell to her knees only to be lifted back up… She reached out again desperately.

He wouldn’t even give her the chance. The bullet board didn’t even dim the area before it was disintegrated.

What was she doing? Sans was white hot furious now. The sensation- Something he hasn’t felt since he was a child! The calling- **Quit it.**

Sans sent another fierce array of bones and this time he did not help her avoid all of them though she still managed to without his help.. even if just barely. Barely as she fell again, her Soul in front of her, blue and weighted… She lifted her head and tried one more time-

*-

Sans refused.

Rejected it flat out..

How was she even doing that? She shouldn’t be able to do that?! The collar! She shouldn’t KNOW how to do that? What the fuck was she doing? How the fuck was she doing that?!

Chara was panicking.

Panic.

She could see his anger. She could see-

“Hey! Can you do any other sorts of magic?”

The boy…..

Chara struggled to lift herself up, lift her hand… Sans prepared to reject her again, prepared another set of attacks, but instead-

The young Monster boy froze, went rigid beside him and Sans heard him give a staggered breath as the world dimmed though for Sans it didn’t go black.

Sans’ attention snapped back towards Chara. Her hand raised and the yellow button against her fingers.

She pressed it again frantically.

“MK?” His sister asked frantically.

“LET HIM GO!” Sans shouted, his left eye was blazing in deep blue and yellow fire.

There was another wave of intent from the human.

Sans snapped.

He angled his hand upwards and the air swirled with magic- The large, skeletal blaster was forming in front of him. In front of her. It was opening its maw.

Chara’s face went white and she lost her breath completely as she felt hollow of anything but terror.

But then… even more terror.

“WAIT! WAIT!” The boy was running right in front of it.

The terror-

“IDIOT!” Chara shrieked as she was up in an instant with what was left of all her energy. She wrapped her arms around the boy and twisted her back towards the attack as they both fell. As she pinned him beneath her and covered his head.

His sister screamed.

Sans- The terror and panic was not stemmed by the fact he had never planned to fire- just to scare- (but maybe he would have in his anger- in his irrational-) He cut off the attack in an instant and he was teleporting forward.

He grabbed Chara’s arm forcefully and forced her upwards, using her still blue Soul to his advantage to pry her off. He all but threw her again but this time he didn’t let go. She flew backwards and he charged at her, shaking her.

“What the fuck was that?!” He demanded. “Huh?! Using him as a shield!” That’s not what happened. Sans knows that’s not what happened. He says it anyways. He makes an argument that is a bit more genuine but still full of shit- “Working around me!”

Chara was cowering. Tense in his grip and turning her face away, wanting to pull away. Escape. Sans was having none of it and pulled her more upwards. She was on her knees with her arm gripped tightly in his hand. He was cutting off her circulation.

“You-!”

W-Wait-!” The boy’s trembling voice carried out across the backyard and Sans turned back towards him. His sister was crouched down beside him, her arms wrapped around his shaking form as he stared tearfully at Sans. “Don’t hurt her! S-She… She was protecting me. S-She.. Don’t hurt her!! Leave her alone! She was protecting me!”

He scoffed loudly.

“You think that was what that was? Protecting you?”

“She was clearly using you!” His sister chastised. “And you just fell for it!!” The boy shook his head.

“No!” He was on the clear verge of bursting into just… tears.

And Sans….

This had been a mistake-

And he is so angry- At himself- At all of this-

“She’s human. She can’t do anything but for herself. Doing something for someone else is impossible.”

And Chara….

She’s been in shock, trying to collect herself, but that statement. The anger breaks through and she lifted her hand and clawed at Sans’ around her arm. She forcefully pulled him off and with a sharp gasp she fell forward. She took in several large breaths before she was able to get her arms under her and lift herself up just a bit… but in a moment she was falling forward again. She could just keep her face out of the dirt.

“Everything…” She managed weakly.. her voice was tight with tears. “Everything I ever did….”

Was for someone else.

But Sans was relentless as he filled in the blanks.

“Oh really? Kill then? Murder?” Chara’s fingers curled in even more tightly. Sans glared. “Was it even self defense?”

There is a tense moment…. Chara’s back shook…. But she didn’t speak… She lowered her forehead against the ground as she gave no defense.

And Sans….

The surprise worked through him as his face fell.

Because he’d said it….

But he had expected her to…. to….

The boy’s sister was forcing him to stand.

“W-We need to go.” She said.

“B-But…” The boy was without words though, now… Clearly torn… Clearly….

“Come on.” His sister ordered. He pulled back but soon gave up and allowed her to lead him away. Sans offered no defenses…. The boy glanced back over his sister’s arm but they were already working their way around the front of the house…..

Sans and Chara… were alone.

After a moment…. Sans crouched down and lifted his hand towards the back of her head again. She turned it away from him even more and Sans paused… She was crying, that was obvious… but she was swallowing it down as best she could. She was crying but it was a withheld sort of cry. A cry that was more visible in the movement of her back and the red of her face as only a few tears managed their escape every so often…. She let out a sharp breath and then she swallowed it again.

“Were they….. really not self defense?” Sans asked and he’s surprised at how weak his voice is. He’d really…. He’d really anticipated….

And Chara….

“I don’t remember…” She admitted and as she does, she broke and began to cry openly.

She doesn’t remember. It’s a blurr… A total blurr…

Sans finally put the hand on top of her head.

“But the first one was.” Sans guessed….. Or more rightly… He knew. He just knew.

Chara-

“He was going to rape me.” She cried.

She’d ended up raped anyways…..

And she deserved it…

Because the last person she killed… even if he didn’t stay dead….

That had not been self defense.

It had been a stark, horrible betrayal.

Sans was lifting her up by her shoulders and Chara felt like she was falling apart as he put his arm against the back of her knees and began to lift her up.

“I’m sorry..” She cried. “I’m sorry. I’m… I’m…”

She’s sorry.

She was crying and her right hand was gripping against Sans’ uniform..

“I can’t die… I can’t.. I left.. I can’t die..”

She can’t die. She’s not allowed to die. She left him alone. She was selfish and she left him alone. She couldn’t live without doing everything she could for Frisk and she left the other person she loved most all alone. She can’t die. She can’t. She….. Not with these sins crawling on her back. Not when-

“I’m sorry. I’m-“

She’s being lowered again, the softness of the bed and she was panicking.

“No.” She breathed. “No-“ She can’t beg. She’s not allowed to beg though in a way she has been. But she can’t. She can’t. She’ll die. She’s not allowed to die.

She was trying to push herself up, to sit up. He can’t rape her if she is sitting up she thinks but she knows isn’t true… But she has to sit up. She can barely… She…

She managed to sit up, her arms shaking as she cried. Sans’ hands were on her face and when she tried to look at him, he covered her eyes again- just like the day before. She couldn’t see. She was panicking but couldn’t see. She was gripping at his wrist but she couldn’t pull him away.

“Shhh. We’re just going to take a nap..” But she can feel something off. Something. She can feel… There is something weary in Sans’ movement and voice. Slower. Somehow it felt like a turning point. She’s afraid. “Shhh…”

He was hugging her- There was an intense wave of alarm- But no, he wasn’t hugging her. It wasn’t a hug. He’s forcing her to lay down and he is pulling himself in beside her. But he’s not pulling off her clothes. He’s not… He’s not….

She can’t calm down though. The blanket is over them and his arms wrapped around her and it’s just a nap he says again… and he is starting to look really tired, but somehow she can’t shake that he is preparing something. Something… his tone… His voice… The way he’s almost gentle. Almost sympathetic. The way he was trailing the tear away from her eye.

It’s just a nap.

He’s going to kill her.

Her red eyes were lifting up and she was looking him in the sockets..

“Are you going to kill me?” She whispered. If she fell asleep- “If I fall asleep are you g-going to…” She can’t repeat it.

Sans was looking her directly in the face.

“I promised Alphys a go at you, didn’t I?” He asked. “Why would I kill you before that?”

Chara was frozen for a moment.. taking in his words… and then….. she makes the mistake…. She believes him.

She felt the panic easing out of her…

The tears began to wind down…

This small act of Mercy… but the reassuring indirect promise that eventually it would go back to normal… that he wasn’t Sparing her…. The most dangerous thing she thinks he can do is Spare her….

She thinks she knows what his sort of Sparing would be.

And the panic was easing out of her…. The tears began to wind down…

She let herself close her eyes.

She really was tired……

…… And Sans can feel it… Exactly how tired she is. He doesn’t know how she’s still willing… No… He knows why she is still willing to keep going. She’s just said it.

She’s not allowed to die.

There’s someone she’s left behind.

But he remembers, too…. Her question.

And he’s pretty certain that she’s been already dead for a very long time.

This is a Mercy…. Killing her..

It’s not just about Papyrus… though a lot of it still is.

She’s breathing heavily… Her throat still obviously hurts, and she’s worn from crying. He trailed his finger against her parted lips… She doesn’t react.. She is completely, utterly, asleep. There is no denying it.

There’s no more stalling it.

Sans lifted a hand to her face, pulling a bit of hair from her face….

It’s so obvious now… how young she is. She’s probably just as old as the neighbor girl… Barely in her last stripe.

How old would she have been when she’d been forced to kill?

…… It doesn’t matter….

But at the same time he thinks that it does.

But… it doesn’t matter.

It’s all going to end the same way.

…. Quick……

Even if he can’t make it painless.

His was summoning his magic. All the Karmic retribution he could muster. She’ll be doomed to death by KARMA in as close as he can get to an instant he thinks. The closest he can get to a one shot kill…

He just has to Fight. He just has to Act….

Spare……

_*Sans is Sparing you…_

The pain shoots through Chara at astonishing speed. All of Sans’ intent.

7 HP.

The poison racing through her Soul as it is pierced directly through her chest at several different points. Her eyes are opened wide and her mouth gaping. Awake- Staring- She can see Sans but not focus. Her mind is somewhere else- The memories.

The Monster children around Frisk- Him using the bullet board- The Migosp that would not recant- The falling- And Frisk- Not even a moment- Jumping in after them-

4 HP.

Frisk- Not waking up- Frisk-

Temmie crying. Temmie begging.

Please….

He can’t lose her too.

 _“I’m sorry.”_ And yet- _“I love you..”_ And yet-

Dust. Her gloved covered hand. Dust.

1 HP.

Sans doesn’t stop.


	80. The Memory

Sans remembers dying.

It’s the only thing he remembers from that time before waking up in the hospital.

He knows, he’s been told, he had a mom.

He supposes he had a dad, too, but he never asked for more.

He knows enough.

They had a home too close to the wall.

It was one of those rare human attacks that actually got anywhere and this is what Sans remembers….

Smoke all around.

Pain. Intense pain.

His HP hitting one.

His HP…. hitting zero.

His Soul crying out in panic- knowing exactly what was happening.

He remembers desperation.

He’s dying….

But he’s thinking about someone else.

He can feel parts of him turning to dust. Things are going dark.

He’s there… in the darkness….

And then somebody called his name.

The world was filled with warmth…. With light….

A soft, warm hand taking his and a voice that tells him….

_It’s going to be alright._

1 HP. Chara's red eyes wide but unseeing- mouth open-

Sans didn’t stop.

He sent one more last surge.

Quick. Ending the pain.  
Her eyes closed and her body began to slack-

The HP dropped

0-

0.7……..

Sans recoiled at the intense refusal. At her closed eyes but suddenly re-rigid body. The desperate cling to life.

0.6

The Fight.

Sans sent another desperate wave of Karma. Desperate to finish it.

Quick. Quick. Painful but quick.

0.4

0.3

Chara was surrounded by darkness… Her fingers were digging into the invisible ground beneath her… Her Soul was above her. Red glowing.. Her fingers dug into the ground. Digging into life.

She’s not allowed to die. She was not going to die.

0.2

No. She’s not going to die. She’s not. She’s not… No. No, no, no. She can’t let him win. She’s going-

0.1

No.

No… No..

One last wave of Karma-

Chara dug her nails through the darkness-

No.

0.08

Sans let go of the bone he was holding- The fire in his left eye went out as he stared in horror-

“Sans!” Sans turned his head in even more horror towards the bedroom door-

Chara kept clinging desperately. Clinging. Refusing. She refused. Refused. She refused to die. She would not die. She didn’t want die…

She couldn’t afford to die………

She couldn’t…….. wouldn’t…..

She wouldn’t…….

Wouldn’t leave…… leave him…….. leave him alone……..

She doesn’t………

0.06

She can’t-

The darkness flooded with Blue light.

“Papyrus!” Sans was on the bed, on his hands and knees and staring at his brother on the ground who was holding Chara desperately-

Papyrus takes no time- He was flooding his magic through him and into her- Reaching….

Reaching out his Soul in desperation.

 _Chara_.

0.05

 _Chara_.

Her fingers were still dug in to the darkness beneath her- clinging… Not letting go. Clinging…

 _Chara_.

A green light shone above her… around her Soul… seeping into her.

_Chara._

_Frisk…._

No…….

Somebody is taking her hand and she was clinging to it desperately, but it is not Frisk… It’s too hard to be Frisk. But it is caring… Wanting…. So desperate… Desperate to Save…

_Chara!_

0.08

She could barely lift her head. Focus…

She can see the young boy in front of her, much younger than her. Younger than Frisk had been even the last time she’d seen him. But she knows him… His boney face…. As he repeats the words that somebody once told him and his brother.

_It’s going to be alright._

0.1

_Pap…py….rus…._

Papyrus was hugging Chara’s body close, his eyes shut tight as he flooded as much of his magic into her…

Sans watched in horrified awe… Uncomprehending.

0.5

Chara kept her hand tightly around the young Papyrus’…. He kept tight hold of hers… But she was slipping away. Slipping back-

0.9

….. 0.9…….

1.

1 HP.

…………………. Papyrus remembers Sans dying.

It’s his fault that Sans was dying.

He’s the one who convinced him to go back in. It was Papyrus’ idea. His idea. His fault. Why he isn’t allowed to make the decisions. It was Papyrus’ fault…

Sans died.

0 HP.

His brother was turning to dust in front of him.

His brother-

Help!... Papyrus had cried.

To anyone. Anyone at all… as long as they would help.

Help!

The wish for a miracle-

The power flowing through him, a light shining as it penetrated his Soul. Filling him. And in turn…. Pouring out into his brother, connecting the three of them.

A soft, warm hand on Papyrus’ shoulder.

_It’s going to be alright._

“It’s going to be alright.” Papyrus muttered over and over to the unconscious Chara. “It’s going to be alright.” Over and…..

Sans was still staring with wide sockets from the bed. Staring. Uncomprehending…..

“It’s going to be alright.”

“Paps….” Sans breathed. Papyrus lifted his head, there are tears in his own sockets but for once…. Just this once….. They don’t affect Sans like they should. “What….”

There is anger in his chest.

He does not understand.

And what he is seeing…

Papyrus’ arms wrapped more tightly around Chara.. Protective….

 “What.. the _fuck_..?”

What the fuck?!

The instant reaction his brother had! Running into the bedroom, turning her aching Soul Blue and expelling Sans’ control over it. Taking her…….

This.

His brother is still pouring so much of himself into her even as he keeps his gaze on Sans.

“What are you doing?!”

“I….” His brother didn’t seem to know what to say. Sans can feel the defensive wall between them and just the thought of it-

“What are you doing?!” Sans demanded again, a bit more loudly.

It’s clear what he is doing. He’s healing her. He’s protecting her. Namely: he’s keeping her alive.

“Why?!”

Why?! Why, why, why?!

This is exactly what Sans was trying to… to avoid… This…. No, not even this. This is _more_ than he was trying to avoid. This…. This is beyond the doubt he worried about. This is beyond hesitation. This… This….

**This.**

What was this?

“ **Paps**.” Sans was moving forward, but Papyrus-

“Whatever you want to do to her, you’ll have to do to me.” Sans was frozen, but his chest was heaving…. This brother was looking at him… terrified… but sure.

Whatever Sans wanted to do to her…..

It’s check. It’s mate.

He can’t move.

Just like that.

Sans was turning, his hand swinging and the lamp on his side table was flying. Papyrus flinched but held on. Held sure.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sans shouted. “What are you doing?!” He asked again. “Why?! When did this happen?! SHE TRIED TO KILL ME JUST A FEW DAYS AGO!”

“She Spared you..” Papyrus whispered.

“TO SPARE HERSELF!” Papyrus didn’t respond. He’s afraid to. His brother is burning like a star about to go supernova. The last sense of control- This unexpected twist he just can’t deal with. “Well what do you want to do with her then?! Keep her as a pet?! That is going to be just fine! Not like she’ll stop trying to escape! Putting us in harms way! Or does the fact that SHE TRIED TO KILL ME slip your memory?!”

“Of course not….” And it is the second time Sans has brought it up.

“Then WHY?! WHY PAPS?!”

Standing in front of his brother. Going against his own brother. On the opposite side- the first time in his life.

And to think he had considered giving Mercy. To think he had pitied!! When all this time she was going behind his back and pulling his brother down! Manipulative. Manipulative. Cruel-

Human to the core.

Human.

Sick-

“WHY?” Sans demanded again.

“It’s not right…” Papyrus said, his voice still so soft. So broken. “Sans….”

He wants to say that this isn’t them…. But it isn’t true. Not anymore. Not for a long time. This is who they have become… But….

“This doesn’t have to be us.”

It doesn’t have to be them.

Or at least…..

He hopes.

Or at least…

“I don’t _want_ this to be us.”

Sans was snarling, the anger was unabated.

“Yeah?! And what do you want to do with her? We can’t sell her. There is only one way this is ending! The only way it was ever going to end!!”

From the very beginning….

“We could just let her go…”

The idea… Sans literally took a shocked step back.

It is so foreign. The opposite of everything-

“So she can go kill more people?! So she can just-!”

“Please….” Sans was frozen again. Shocked. “Please, Sans….. Please…. You said she couldn’t beg… but please…. _I’m_ begging you…”

Please…

What Papyrus should have done from the beginning. Stopping this the moment he had any doubt…. But he…. The decisions he makes… The way it always ends….

“Please…”

Sans had his hands on either side of his head, where his temples would be. He was letting out a low, vicious sound… animal-like. Pained-

“Sans…. She’s everything we always said she wasn’t.” And Papyrus was now almost certain that his brother knows that. “She’s a person. A person who cares, who-“

“It doesn’t matter!!” Sans stated. “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” It doesn’t!! “It doesn’t matter that she’s a person! It doesn’t matter that she’s a child!!”

“……!”

Sans immediately knew the mistake. Immediately… He opened his sockets and looked quickly over to his brother who was staring at him in his own wave of shock.

“…. Sans..?”

But Sans was gone. Blinked out of the room and Papyrus jolted.

“Sans!!”

Sans was heading out the door of the garage- His keys already in his hand and slipping on the helmet- Fleeing-

Papyrus was frozen on the floor of his brother’s bedroom, too scared to move. Chara was at 2 HP and he was afraid that if he stopped for a moment it would fall back down. He can feel his brother… The distress… The panic… The anger and the confusion. But it is fading…. Moving away from him.. And after a few moments… he can barely feel it. It’s still there. It’s always still there….. But just barely.

His brother is gone.

Papyrus looked back down at Chara…. Her head was completely fallen back and her chest was struggling to move. To keep breathing…. And her Soul…..

She’d held on by something even thinner than a thread…. She was still holding…. Barely holding….

Papyrus held her as close as possible and rested his head against her shoulder as he began to cry.

_Papyrus kept Sans close, hugging him tightly as he cried.. As he felt weak and smoke stayed all around them. But as he was slipping unconscious one thing remained. One…._

_His brother was there…. His brother was whole again. Whole…. Safe… and whole._

_It was going to be alright._

Papyrus had no clue if it was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys just like to flee from their problems.....  
> It's a family problem.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I've been bad at responding to comments. I'm sorry. I see you and I love you.


	81. Heart to Heart

The light pulsed- going in, going out- like a wave as Undyne went farther down the steps. She paused and stood unflinching as she reached the sealed door and waited as the piercing, loud sound echoed around her and it began to open… Once the door was completely opened, there was a loud thud and the alarm shut off. All that was left was the sound of the light… The eerie echo that reminded you of wind.

Something that could pull you in…

And all along the walls were seven glass frames- different colored lights shining from within.

Undyne stepped into the room and immediately to the first glass frame. The green Soul was pulsing weakly within, a crack was starting to form down the center and Undyne noted it on her board… The numbers listed beneath it were then written down beside the note… A replacement would be needed soon.

The green ones always wore out too soon….

She pushed a thought away- side stepping around it as she moved to the next glass frame.

The yellow Soul pulsed just a bit brighter at her presence, as if it could feel her. As if in indignation. The orange one a few feet away did the same. Both pulsing, though obviously strained. She noted her numbers. Observed any new cracks. Then she moved across the room. To purple, to the blues, both deep royal and cyan. And then there in the center…. Undyne moved to the generator where the red Soul pulsed frantically. Always so frantically. Fighting…

Fighting……

…. Such a futile effort.

Undyne turned around and began to walk out- to leave…

But she paused… Her grip was firm on the clipboard and she stared ahead towards the door for a moment….. Then she turned back around… She made her way out to the observation deck, just past the generator..

The wall of pulsing light dwarfed her and she stared upwards as she can to another stop.

She said nothing. Just listened to the sound. She allowed herself one thought. One sad thought.

_".... Do you ever still miss him?"_

Undyne left back up the stairs without another glance back.

The Souls pulsed weakly behind her-

* * *

  _“Ready?  Here we go…”_

The bright red Soul appeared- flooding the opening with light. Shining. Pulsing vibrant- Bright.

It’s radiant.

Chara’s fists gripped tightly as she watched from the side. Frisk himself was tense but his eyes, just like his Soul, determined. He stood his ground. He did not flee. Even as he was frozen and his breathing quick and uneven… He stayed. Firm. Sure.

Determined.

“We’ll start with the basics.” Temmie began.

His Soul.

“The very accumulation of your being.” Temmie stated.

Frisk is shaking and Chara, if she focuses enough, she can see the world dim. The darkness he and Temmie have let envelop them.

The darkness- explained…

This plane where the most important thing is the Soul.

If one has a Soul, Temmie laughs.

But he manages regardless-

Talking about intent, how to make it known.

[FIGHT] [ACT] [ITEM] [MERCY]

Taking turns….

A quick history in the long lost form of the bullet board birthday card-

Explaining the concept of a birthday card. Explaining the concept of a birthday.

None of them have real birthdays.

The absurdity of the thought- Frisk, she could see, he was shaking less. Growing more easy, even as he was still clearly afraid… But firm.

Firm like his Soul.

Firm. Sure….

Determined-

_Warm….._

* * *

 Her Soul is warm…. But aching… the pain pronounced in her chest….

Papyrus had gotten her back to 3 HP, but he can’t tell- If he stops, would it just go back down?

Carefully, carefully, even as he bites back more tears, Papyrus lifted her up in his arms.

Standing in Sans’ room-

He goes to place her on the bed but can’t… He could remember the day before. When he had offered her his bed to sleep. The look in her eyes. The memories.

Him holding her down… Him and Sans…

Sans…

Sans.

He held Chara a bit tighter again and he felt woozy.

He changed direction, making his way towards the living room…

The couch….

She’s tiny as he puts her down……

That thought…..

Papyrus kept her hand in his hand a moment, sending a bit more energy through her. And slowly, cautiously, he began to let go. Letting her fingers slip out of his as he backs up… He keeps his magic trained on her though. Checking her repeatedly as he takes steps back. He then runs towards the closet… Grabs her things… Runs back.

She’s still at 3 HP.

It’s not going down but he doesn’t trust that he can get it back up without letting her Soul do that on its own. To let her sleep. Rest… Time. That’s all he can give her. Time.

But even that he doesn’t know how much time. He doesn’t know… Doesn’t know anything. Anything at all.

He was wrapping her in the blankets, tucking her in as carefully as he could. Adjusting-

“Pap…. py…. rus…”

His magic spiked and he looked at her face in alarm as he leaned over her.

“Chara!” He placed a hand on her shoulder as she turned her head towards him, but barely… barely moving… Her eyes just barely open.. “It’s alright.” Papyrus began again. “It’s alright. You’re alright. I’ve got you.”

“Where….”

Papyrus cringed.

“I don’t know.” He admitted. He has no clue where Sans is. “I…. I just don’t know.”

Where Sans is. If he’ll come back- or more rightly, when…. If he’ll come alone…

If he’ll have Undyne with him.

Papyrus doesn’t know.

He was sinking to his knees, the tears working their way down his face again.

“I… I’m sorry.” He said again. It will never be enough. “I’m sorry. If this was how it was going to go. If I was going to get you almost killed anyways! I should have done something right away. Yesterday. The day I first…. I’m sorry. I’m just…” Papyrus took her hand. The feeling is tight in his chest and he feels torn every which way.... He glanced down, he feels so small... Lost... He doesn't.....

_“This doesn’t have to be us............ I don’t want this to be us.”_

 He held her hand just a bit more tightly... His voice is weak....

"Do you think...."

No.... He can't ask it....

“Just go ahead and get some sleep…” He told her instead, his voice as gentle as he can manage.. But....

“Won’t…… wake up…” She whispered… Breathed… just barely. 

She's fighting.... Fighting so hard, Papyrus can feel it. He squeezed her hand.

“I’ll be right here. I’ll make sure that you do…”

Chara though….. She didn’t close her eyes. Her chest was moving up and down in obvious pain, obvious exhaustion in her features.. Her Soul pulsed weakly… 

“I… saw….” She began again, despite that pain. Papyrus’ left hand joined the other and grasped hers’ tightly.

“What?” He asks despite wanting to tell her to rest again. That she didn’t need to talk with it hurting, but the pulse of her Soul... he can feel it... this is important to her...

“Memory…”

“Was it a good memory?” Papyrus encouraged…. He hoped…. She needed something good… Her one good thing…

“It was… warm.. hot. Smoke.” She began, “His… skull… the right side.. it was gone.”

Papyrus felt himself growing cold.

“His Soul…”

His Soul beginning to break… As Papyrus cried out. Panicked. Frantic. Calling out for help.

“There was… a light…”

A warm, healing light.

“Miss Toriel…. She saved you…”

Papyrus was staring in shock but suddenly…. He was laughing. Laughing brokenly. At how absurd it was- unexpected- To hear a _human_ of all people refer to The _Queen_ something like that. Something casual, familiar. But then it was catching up with him. Crushing. He was crying again. Sobbing grossly as he lifted their hands to his face. His entire frame shook.

She’s telling him something- a memory- that he’s never told _anyone_. Not Sans. Not Undyne. No one.

“I’m sorry.” He cried again. “I’m sorry.”

It was his fault. All his fault- All of this. Everything. Every decision he makes.

He’d come flying home in his car- The moment Alphys had called him, told him she had sent Sans home early and was letting him off too, she hadn’t had to tell him twice. He’d made himself sound calm on the phone but he had already been running. Running- flying- Knowing….

It’s funny…. How in one moment… He knew…

He’d found the courage to do what was right. To finally think for himself…..

Something he hasn’t done since the day he almost got Sans killed.

But not thinking for himself was going to get her killed.

Not standing up to Sans was going to get her killed.

And he wasn’t… He….

“I’m not going to let you die.” Papyrus said, tightening his grip around her hand. “I promise. No matter what. I’m not going to let you die. They’ll have to get through me.”

If it’s Sans. If it’s Undyne. Alphys.

They’ll have to get through him.

“I promise.” Papyrus sobbed.

He promised…..

Chara’s Soul pulsed weak..... She doesn't know.... She doesn't trust.... She... but somehow, someway, she breathes it out-

“My brother's name...”

Papyrus froze except the shaking of his chest. He looked up tearfully, he kept her hand tight.

“W-What?”

Her expression is still so tired, and sad…. But now it has been said... she can't take it back.. Can''t... Her entire face contorted in pain and Papyrus realized she was also on the verge of tears. Not thinking, Papyrus put his left hand against her face, not thinking, just wanting to comfort- his fingers moving into her hair even as he kept holding on to her hand, squeezing it. Struggling to comprehend-

“My brother’s name… was Frisk…” She managed. 

She feels like the whole world is falling apart around her-

“Chara…” Papyrus can't breathe, he doesn’t know what to do. He can feel the intense pain she is and his thoughts are racing, racing-

“He got hurt.” She began. “Then he got sick… And I _….I_..”

She couldn’t continue, her chest was heaving in incredible pain. Papyrus was going through all that he knew about her- What he's seen-

Her in front of the computer, swinging at him, in so much pain- Thinking of someone.....

Someone....

And what she’s said-

The one thing she won't take from them-

And Alphys-

_“Alphys didn’t capture me, I turned myself in.”_

“Chara…” This time it is Papyrus that initiates the hug. Wrapping his arms around her, supporting her head as she sobbed weakly... He can’t help it. He’s holding her tight- too tight- Chara's arms were rising as much as they could.... to hug him back. To silently plead- Pleading to him not to use it against her, pleading to something unknown, pleading...

And mourning....

Pure, intense pain.

Papyrus doesn't let go, he continues to hold on, whispering softly through his own tears- _I promise. I'm sorry. I promise._

Over and over, because he doesn't know what else to say- he can't tell her it's okay.... It's not.... It's not okay... No part of it is okay.

And he's sorry, but he promised....

Chara doesn't say anything but a few weak pleas, barely audible, as she began to slip back unconcious-unable to fight... unable....

Unable.....

Unable..

Papyrus began to pull back, moving the hair out of her face as he stared miserably and helplessly... He kept his other hand around hers as she let out one final, teary breath before slipping away fully back-

Unable.

Papyrus ran his fingers through her hair as he squeezed her fingers in his. His entire rib cage- it felt like somebody had a hand around his Soul- it hurt.... But he knew it could never compare to hers.

Papyrus put his head down against the couch beside her; tired and worn out but still fighting back more tears....

But still putting part of himself into her. Healing her.... To just keep her hurt, weak, pulsing Soul stable.


	82. Thunder

_Frisk’s Soul was like radiant, burning fire_ as he maneuvered through Tem’s attacks. Their slow back and forth of the last few days- Frisk getting used to the board, learning the rules, the feel- had escalated into quick succinct movements and an array of bullets.

Chara sat on the sidelines watching from beneath the apple tree on the edge of the meadow. She had an apple in her hand, her finger nails digging into the skin every so often though she didn’t notice she was doing it and when she did she would take a bit to hide it… erase the evidence.

“Come on now, you’ve got to be smarter in your movements!” Temmie chastised as Frisk stumbled a bit. “It’s not enough to just be fast, you’ll wear yourself out. Every motion counts.”

If you don’t want to Fight. If you want to live enough to convince the other person to Spare.

To show Mercy.

Frisk let out a sharp cry as he didn’t quiet manage to dodge the latest array of bullets. Chara’s thumb pierced farther into the apple’s skin, she bit the inside of her bottom lip. Temmie cut off the barrage and stood tense, alert. Chara could see his quick breathing and fear even from the base of the tree.

Frisk groaned and rolled over on the ground, onto his back.

He’s not hurt, of course. The bullets are benign. There is no intent. The cry had been from shock if nothing else.

But it doesn’t ease the discomfort in Chara’s stomach despite how much she tells herself this is a good thing. Good practice. Better against Temmie than somebody else who meant it.

It’s better…..

Safer….

She trusts Tem.

She trusts……

But still, its hard to watch. And the few times she has faced off against Temmie, she’s frozen. She’s too hesitant…

And the first time, feeling Temmie… Or more rightly…… Feeling… how off. How distance… Strange…. That also hadn’t helped.

The reality that was the Something Wrong with Temmie.

….. He really didn’t have a Soul.

At least……

Not in the way she’s felt from anyone else..

He….

She’d left the training to Frisk and Temmie after that.

She’d get back to it eventually. She’d need it. She needs to train. Because soon….. soon, they’ll be….

Chara and Temmie were at the river side cleaning the fish Frisk had caught. The boy was napping a few meters away. Completely worn out.

Chara could tell that Temmie was worn out too, maybe even more, but he had denied Chara’s offer to do all of this alone…

Though she was still kinda doing it alone. He was just kinda laying there with drooping black eyes, pawing at one of the fish- also with drooping black eyes. Chara suspects that…. Knowing him…. (and she thinks she does know him, and it is a strange, strange thought to have on occasion- a strange reality-)… but knowing him….. He’s worried.. Afraid.. at how she was thinking about him in all of this.

Watching someone relentlessly attack your brother takes its toll, you know…

But she is… grateful. She’s grateful Frisk is being taught skills that he’s going to need. Skills that she’s tried to instill in him but at the same time… she could never bring herself to really push him- potentially hurt him. This was better…. She was grateful.

Grateful to be there by the river with her brother, with her best fried… The trees around them, the filtering sun… a cooler breeze in the air….

A cooler breeze…..

“So….” Temmie began slowly…. “… When you finally decide to leave here…”

Chara stopped, the knife in her hand shaking a bit but she tried to hide it, digging it slightly deeper into the fish she was holding.

“Wh-Where.. were you thinking of going?” He isn’t looking at her. He’s still looking at the blank-staring fish.

It’s a fair question……. She doesn’t trust the camps… Not right after what just happened…

She can still smell the burning fires of Bravery. The sights- blood…. dust…

But the thought of the Ruins. It turns her stomach. Blood and dust and the now-lost dagger in her hand.

She wants to throw up and she is noticeable paler.

“I haven’t been thinking about it.” Chara admitted, it is only half true. She thinks about it. But never for long. She doesn’t want to think about it, that is the more honest response. And she says it- “I don’t want to think about it.”

Because she’s doing her best to not have anything left unsaid.

Though that is also hard. It goes against everything she has built up to protect herself.

Tem only nods at first, just barely. A move of his head. But after a moment-

“I think you should go to Patience…… It would be better for you… Safer…” He said. “They should leave the camps alone after the message they sent through Bravery..”

That is another way to look at it and he is probably right, but….. but….

‘I don’t want to think about it.” She said again….. But she knows she has to. That’s just the way it goes….

But she doesn’t. Not for a little bit longer…..

Just a little bit longer… With the sun filtering through the trees, the peaceful river, the cool breeze……

Cool….

But on the horizon is gathering clouds and she thinks she can hear the distant rumble of thunder but it may just be in her head. She hopes it is just in her head…

Chara pulled the fish Temmie had been pawing at towards her and began to work on cleaning it. She glanced up over the water, half hoping to see the River Person. It’s been a few days….

“He’s awake.” Temmie told her, reading the concern in her eyes. “He’s probably just busy with something.”

There is that pang of jealousy again… but also relief.

But also the knowledge that…

She knows Temmie…. And Temmie knows her, too. Enough to read her wandering thoughts.

There is a different kind of pang in her chest.

She was looking back down at the fish…..

“Can I….” Chara began…. “Ask something?”

“… Y-Yeah..” Temmie finally agreed.

“You don’t have to answer.” Chara whispered softly.

Temmie was tense beside her but he shook his head. She’s not sure what he means by that but after a moment when he doesn’t explain, she doesn’t think he really knows what he means by that either…

“Just fire away, not like you can hurt my feelings.” Temmie told her.

“That’s not true.” She countered. He cares, he has feelings. It’s just… different. But he does care. He does hurt. He hurts disproportionately.

“Well…” He seems to have stumbled mentally at this. He doesn’t seem to know where to look. He eventually turns his gaze across the river. “If its you asking, even if it hurts… you deserve a few answers.” He decided.. and he seemed to say it honestly.

But Chara isn’t so sure…

“It’s about….. The Queen.” She managed. Temmie lifted his head though he didn’t turn to face her. She could still tell he was surprised. She could still tell that he was tense and didn’t want to address this. “Never mind…”

“No, it’s okay.” He said quickly.

He’s lying.

But also honest…..

He doesn’t want to talk about it and he is not okay, but she does deserve some answers and it is okay for her to ask.

“…… Can she actually hear your prayers?” Temmie finally turned to face her, the surprise is clear on his face.

Out of all the questions he had expected… this was not the one he had ever anticipated…

“It’s… complicated.” He said finally. “You’ve got to say it out loud with your voice and.. or…..”

“.. yeah?”

“I want to say Soul, but… its not quite that. It’s something else.” Chara waited expectantly as he seemed to think. His face squashed, and he seemed to be in some sort of pain- “You just… really have to want it.”

He seemed like he was still fighting with himself. To build up to continuing his explanation, but Chara-

“That’s all I wanted to know.” She stated. She went back to work with their super…. She began to gather it up, to move back towards camp and to start restart the fire. But she only got to stand before Temmie continued-

“I don’t talk to her.” He said quickly. There is fear in his voice. “I haven’t…. in a long, long time.” But the fear turns somber.

He’s cut himself off from her completely for a very long time….

She’s supposed to be his mother, Chara remembers….. Or.. something like that.... Not like that....

And no matter what he says, he does in fact care….

Just in his different way.

But The Queen…..

Chara was looking at Frisk who was still deep in sleep, his mouth partially open, the bit of grass in front of his moved with his breath..

“Why….?” The word slips out of Chara’s lips and she immediately regrets it. She knows why. The reasons, the excuses, but at the same time….. “Why does she hate us…?”

Her voice is so small, so weak…. So childlike and broken…

Temmie stepped forward quickly. Making sure she could see him as he spoke urgently.

“She doesn’t! She.. She would love you.” He told her. Chara shook her head, unable to understand. “She’s….” He’s in obvious pain, not looking her in the eyes anymore. “She was just trying to save her son… She didn’t mean for it to get as messy as it did, and when she tried to fix it…..”

She couldn’t.

Not really…..

Not the way she wanted.

Needed…

“I know they call her a goddess.. but…” His paw was twisting against the ground anxiously…. “She’s more of a prisoner than anything else.”

Chara…. Didn’t understand…

Frisk groaned from his place on the ground and Chara jumped, lifting the fish dangling at her right side higher as he began to slowly open his eyes.

“I fell asleep…” He mumbled in realization. Chara smiled.

“Yeah.”

Yeah….

Chara moved forwards to help him up with her free hand.

She’s thankful for the excuse to escape the conversation.

She can tell that Temmie is, too.

It’s too much to deal with. Digest….

Chara poked fun at Frisk’s bed head, elbowing him about how lazy he is. That she had to do all this work by herself.

“Hey! I helped!” Temmie countered.

If he called helping pawing aimlessly at a dead fish’s eyes, she countered.

He would have been better off sleeping.

There is laughter, playacting.

But there really is thunder in the distance……


	83. Drowning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fevers and dreams...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk

_Frisk-_

 

_It was raining again…._

It’s been raining off and on for the last few days.

Chara, Frisk, and Temmie have huddled together beneath the blue tarp watching it fall and doing their best to stay dry. To stay warm….

And there was no more avoiding it….

It was time to leave.

It was a unanimous decision and the next break in the rain the group sprung into action. Frisk began to pack up everything that hadn’t been already while both Chara and Temmie took one of the bookbags and made their way to the apple tree that rested just along the edge of the meadow. Once there, Temmie began to dig and Chara opened up the bag. She looked over the make-shift boxes of gold inside….

There’s 260 pieces in one. 260 in another. The third has the remaining 920. Temmie had helped Frisk with the math. The slow counting..

Once Temmie had dug a decent enough hole, Chara put one of the 260 piece boxes inside and together they began to put back the dirt. Chara’s hands and Temmie’s paws were muddy when they were finished smoothing out the ground, but Chara was still thankful for the rain. It had made it easier and the rain that would come to hide their tracks even more. Thankful for this small little assurance for some other rainy day…

And if not, if it was gone…… She couldn’t be _too_ upset….

That’s just the way it goes.

And if she took it with her and she got robbed anyways, well….

This was just overall safer…

She gathered up the book bag and the other two boxes and began to make her way back towards Frisk with Temmie beside her-

“Have you… decided?” Temmie asked softly as they walked. He looked up at her with what someone could have possibly called concern, but it was more rightly fear…. Which Chara supposed was close enough to concern.

“The Ruins.” She stated evenly. Temmie sighed in apparent relief… “I don’t trust the camps after Bravery.” She explained again. “Also….” Also… “There’s you..”

Honest. Open. One more thing never left unsaid. One more thing… Even though it’s so hard.

 “…… thanks.” Temmie managed. Chara smiled down at him, a strange feeling in her chest. “… are you going to be okay, though?” Chara’s smile disappeared…. Her stomach twisted. That strange feeling transformed.

The Ruins….

The last time she had been there…..

“I’ve got you and Frisk to ground me.” She whispered honestly.

That would have to be enough.

The next morning after another bout of rain, they packed up the tarp………. They debated about the bed…

“Destroy it.” Chara finally decided.

It was starting to fall apart and the rain had started to get to it… Keeping it, it would only lead to them getting sick..

They dragged the mattress to the river and once there Chara cut it open and began to take out the grassy stuffing. She let it sink in the water. Then she hid the outer shell in the brush. Going back to the camp site they did their best to make it look like nobody had been there. It was hard….. It’s hard to make any place look unlived in when you’ve been there for months…. and not just a few.

They did their best, though. And once done, they took everything down to the river side to wait…. They had the blue tarp over them just in case it started to pour again-

But right on time, The River Person appeared in his boat. Chara’s heart soared, and as the boat got closer she was thankful at his lack of other passengers.

“Mmm.. I figured you would be here waiting for me like this.” The River Person admitted.

Chara was suddenly struck with the thought that his lack of passengers was not just a happy accident.

“Thank you,” Chara said.

“I am happy to be of assistance.” The River Person told her, not understanding the full meaning of the thank you. They piled their things on- “Where to?”

“… The Ruins…”

The Ruins…

The River Person stared but then…. slowly… he nodded. His oar dipped down into the water and he changed his course back up stream….

Frisk sat down beside Chara and rested against her shoulder. Temmie was up front with The River Person, watching the water. The River Person hesitated, but Chara saw it in the corner of her eye… His shadowed hand reaching tentatively to pat Temmie’s head. Temmie tensed but then after a moment…… His body eased a bit and he allowed it….

Once again Chara wondered what they had talked about, but once again she did not ask…

Instead she and Frisk watched the passing water, Frisk holding her hand- She could feel the concern. The real concern. She squeezed his hand. She would be okay. She would be okay…… She had them. The River Person, Temmie…. Frisk…

The people she loved most in the world.

But in her mind she had an image- Blood, spilling from the man’s throat, covering her- Him falling to the ground- The shock- The blade in her hand- The power-

And the stray thought- about what had happened to the body. Laying there in the blood, shriveling, torn apart by wild animals and stray dogs- Scattered-

No longer there.

It didn’t take long for a corpse to disappear.

But still she thought about it. Whole and withered, left there. A sick sensation in her stomach.

Patches of ground greyed out with dust.

Chara closed her eyes tightly as she continued to rest against Frisk, her grip on his fingers merciless-

Holding onto Frisk….

_Frisk……_

_Frisk.._

_Frisk._

The River Person’s boat slipped in close to the shore- The Ruins rose up nearby through the trees and there wasn’t signs of anyone nearby; Human or Monster. There is only the soft call of birds through the trees. They are taking this time, this moment of respite from the rain, to fly about and take advantage of the situation.

“There you go…” The River Person said as he finished up putting all their things along the shore. Frisk and Chara were getting over the side of the boat and Temmie clung to Chara as he stayed draped over her shoulder. “Is there anything else?” The River Person asked… almost hopefully….

“Yes… actually.” Chara said. She was taking out one of the boxes of gold and holding it up for him with both hands; Temmie had to hold on tighter as she did.

The River Person took the box and opened it-

“It’s.. 920 pieces of gold.” She stated. “I was wondering if…..”

“If I could hold on to it for you.” The River Person stated. Chara nodded. The River Person stared at her for a moment…. “I would be more than happy to protect this for you.” He told her. “But… you must understand that it will not always be accessible to you.”

Not with him… so unreliable a source.

“I understand.” Chara assured him.

It was why she had buried some too… just in case.

The River Person nodded solemnly and, in an instant, the box was gone. Vanished. In that not-so-little pocket of magic…… Chara wondered…. How many other people had entrusted precious items to him for safe keeping?

But somehow, as he lowered his hand back down and that shadowy face looked at her….. She could still feel his smile. His pride… How happy she has made him in trusting him. Her specifically…

But also… she can feel the smile fading….

His wish that he could do more…

“Thank you.” Chara said once again.

“Thank you!” Frisk repeated.

“Stay safe.” He told them, though he also knows that there is no such thing as safe, only safer. “Chose your spot well.”

“Don’t worry about that part.” Temmie said, knowing that he can’t say not to worry completely. “I know the Ruins like the back of my paw.”

It’s still weird…. To hear Temmie talk normally towards The River Person, but this has been the case ever since they’d had their hours long talk Chara and Frisk didn’t really know anything about except that it happened.

“I will trust you to do your best.” The River Person stated.

Chara knows he is stalling…. That he does not want to go. To leave them….

Frisk rushed forward, hugging The River Person over the edge of the boat. The River Person laughed softly and hugged him back. Chara stands back…. If she were to join in, Temmie would be crushed on her shoulder….

“See you later.” Frisk told him firmly.

“Of course.” The River Person said as Frisk began to pull away and step back completely onto shore. They began to pick up their things.. The clouds are beginning to gather more thickly again and there is no time to waste.

“See you!” Chara called last second before they disappeared into the trees. The River Person nodded.

They disappeared into the trees…..

And an hour or two later the rain was starting again…. A slight drizzle..

“Hey!” Temmie called back towards them. They’d been walking for awhile now with all their things, going into a part of the Ruins Chara wasn’t familiar with. It wound along one of the off branches of the river. All the buildings dangerously close to it- Some sort of once-upon-a-time industrial sector. “It’s over here.”

Where he was taking them..

Somewhere he was familiar with and somewhere that would be good for them, too. He assured over and over. Even as Chara eyed the dangerous water- Rougher and more uneven than she is used to… She trusted Temmie, at least, enough to risk it.

He led them over a crumbling bridge and to a building that was just as dilapidated- At least on the outside. Once several crates were moved and they could get inside, Chara could see that someone had taken great care to support the walls and ceiling- It was more stable than it appeared.

Temmie jumped up excitedly onto a barrel and turned to face them- Excited and _almost_ happy- At the very least, proud of himself.

“What do you think?”

A decent enough roof though there are a few leaks here and there. Protection from the wind. It’s a fair distance away from where she is used too and she would have to adjust accordingly, but…..

Her mind flashed with twisted memory that twisted her stomach.

That was probably for the best… being farther away…

Chara smiled for Temmie and she could see a rare light in his eyes.

“Home sweet home.” She told him softly.

And she meant it… Home.

Home…..

Home..

_Frisk._

_But everything was dark along the edges. The sound of the river was deafening in her ears- The water pooling at her feet and the walls of the building gone around her as she was rooted in place-_

_Frisk-_

_The single thought moves her-_

_Frisk-_

_She was turning around, red eyes frantic-_

_Frisk!_

_He was already well within the water- Well out of her reach-_

_FRISK!_

_She’s drowning. Under water and drowning, but somehow- It is not the water that is choking her._

_Frisk-_

_She can’t- She can’t- She can’t!_

_Frisk-!_

“Hey!” _Temmie called._

_She can’t- No matter how much she kicks, moves her arms- She can no longer move her arms. They are caught in something-_

“Hey.” _Temmie called again, but it is gentle, it’s soothing- It’s somehow wrong. Wrong- Doesn’t fit the chaos that is going on._

_She can’t-_

“Chara….”

_There is green glowing magic somewhere where Frisk has disappeared-_

_But she can’t reach it, no matter how hard she swims._

“Chara….” Papyrus kept her hand in his, still slowly easing magic into her. But its been more difficult to keep her stable than he anticipated. Her Soul is like a raging storm and her skin burns to the touch even as she won’t stop sweating. Her breathing stays thin but also labored. And it is so easy to tell… She’s in the middle of a nightmare that she can’t get out of no matter how much he calls softly. If she does open her eyes, does manage to become somewhat aware, it only seems to make it worse. If she sees him, there is fear. Either of him hurting her if she can’t remember enough, or of the memory of what she did-

_Frisk._

But it is only for a moment before she slips back again. Into darkness. Into the storm and nightmares. And all Papyrus can do it call. He dares not raise his voice and call, louder, though knowing that nothing good would come out of it.

He doesn’t know if he can do anything that’s good at all.

So he focuses mainly on keeping ahold of her hand. To keep steady-

But Chara’s Soul is in a constant struggle and he is straining to keep up.. He’s got a whole case of juice beside him; quick easy access to replenish his magic. But still, he feels drained. Drained and tired- The sun is gone over the horizon. The room is barely lit from the curtain that is cracked on one side to give Papyrus a view of the street- Just in case- and the street lights coming through. There is also the light in the dining room he has turned on even as he keeps the living room lights off, his original intention to not bother Chara as she slept-

But it hadn’t taken long for her to take a turn for the worse. It’s not so much she is tossing and turning, she doesn’t have the strength for that. But her Soul… Her body…. It feels like they are rebelling against one another. As if her body knows- She should be dead… and yet her Soul keeps trying to refuse… and Papyrus keeps it steady…

Chara’s fear of falling asleep and then never waking up seems to have been very real and valid… but the fight she is putting up compared to how badly she feels- how torn- He’s amazed as much as he is terrified for her and of her.

And there is one thing he has to consider… Something that could help but perhaps bring them even more trouble… It’s eating him up, though, watching her struggle… Feeling it in her Soul…

But he isn’t sure it is a good idea… It would turn her Soul into an even brighter beacon..

He sits and waits in his guilt doing nothing about it for another half hour or so. He’s still just trying his best to calm her down. He gets up briefly to get a bowl of cool water, a towel and washcloth to wipe at her face and press at her lips in hopes that she can get some water. But it is not enough, it isn’t helping her.

He’s going to have to take the risk..

_Something’s wrong-! Something’s different-!_

_Something’s wrong- Something’s different- But Chara’s mostly unconscious mind can’t tell what- She can only sense it- vaguely in the darkness….. Some drastic change- But all there is darkness- Dark……._

_Something- She can’t move no matter how much she struggles. Frantically. Frantically. Even more than she had been before._

_Something changed- Something’s different-_

_Everything is intense- Drowning- Drowning even more-_

“Chara-” _A voice calls. Something is holding her by the shoulders but she can’t see it. Only struggle._ “Chara!”

 _Stru_ ggle-

Chara’s eyes opened- There was patchworks of light, and a figure over her-

And she remembers once again.

 _Papyrus_.

What she did-

 _Frisk_.

Terror.

Panic.

He has one hand on her shoulder, his other is holding her hand close to his chest.

Chara can’t breathe. She can’t- She can’t-

She pulled her hand forcefully out of his and a hum of magic she hadn’t noticed cut off- The pain in her chest heightened. Everything heightened. Too vivid around her, even in the dark. She was struggling where she lay. Struggling. Fighting.

“Chara-“

Thoughtlessly, Chara reached towards her chest, searching for what she knew wasn’t there, but she couldn’t help it anyways. Even as her hand finds nothing, she continues to try and grasp but all there is, is fabric of a shirt that isn’t hers- That’s going to be ripped off-

“Breathe with me.” Papyrus told her gently.

Looming over her- Holding her down so she didn’t hurt herself- As he kept trying- trying to steady- Ground-

It makes it worse.

“Breathe- It’s a panic attack. Breathe.”

_“She is having a panic attack.”_

_Somewhere behind her, Somewhere behind- Him and his brother- Going to hurt her- Going to use- rape-_

_Her Soul blue- Held down- The collar around her neck-_

The hand grasping at her chest reached upwards, to her neck, wanting to claw at it, tear it- But her fingers touch coarse, hurt skin-

There’s nothing there.

The panic shoots through her as her mind fails to comprehend.

There’s nothing there.

It’s gone.

The collar is gone.

She kept grasping at her neck, now with both hands as if she would choke herself. She already can’t breathe-

“Chara.” Papyrus kept saying as calmly as possible. “Chara.”

Chara can’t stop panicking. The world around her is too intense, and him- His Soul. His magic. She can feel it all more completely.

Feel herself more completely....

Too intense. So much more than she’s used to now. Everything is too intense.

That’s what’s wrong- no.. different. That’s what is different.

The collar-

“It’s gone.” Papyrus voiced for her. “It’s gone.”

There is more than a hint of guilt in his voice. That he’s sorry it took him so long, but also that he did it so sudden-

…. It’s been six months…. After all….

…. Six months…

Chara fell back against the couch completely and after a moment… her eyes closed again and she let out a loud, but strained and painful sob..

“Hey…” Papyrus droned as softly as possible. “Hey..” As encouragingly as possible.

He was slowly pulling his hands away from her now that he didn’t think she would fling herself off of the couch. She was laying there, sobbing and shaking, but no longer thrashing. But her hands were still around her neck, unable to fully comprehend.

And he can see that now that the adrenaline that had woken her up was easing out of her, she was starting to crash down again. The fever taking back over.

She’s terrified him in her sudden outburst, but it had made sense..

… six….

One of Chara’s hands moved away from her neck… trailing back to her aching chest, fingers into the fabric as she lay on her side facing Papyrus…

“Hey..” Papyrus came back up with the towel and washcloth. Chara’s eyes opened weakly, tears streaming down, one trailing over the bridge of her nose.. He offered her the towel but she could not move to take it.. After a moment, he began to wipe her face for her with the towel.. Chara was letting out staggered, teary breaths but she was too exhausted to keep crying… And as Papyrus began to give her something to drink from one of the bottles he had beside him, she was already slipping back once again….

Slipping…

Papyrus stared, holding his breath as she drifted away from him again…

But her Soul… its obvious and present. More than any other time before.. It’s filling out the entire room, maybe the whole house and he’s still afraid it will bring them trouble with neighbors, but….

But….

Chara slipped back asleep entirely, and Papyrus could already tell…

Her Soul was struggling a million times less. Her Soul… Her body…. Adjusting….

He's made the right choice.

_The darkness is calm… She feels like she’s just sinking … as she catches her breath… or tries to…_

_And in her mind, there is a soft, gentle tune she dreams…._

_As her mind drifts back to where its raining somewhere else..._

_And someone tells her: don't give up._

_Don't let go..._

Papyrus gently retook her hand in his and sighed deeply as he leaned up against the couch exhausted. And though he is doing his best to stay awake, he is slipping away too. He's being pulled asleep by some soft melody emanating from her Soul. And he thinks, vaguely, he's heard this song before.

_Dream._

 


	84. The Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: The first part of this chapter will eventually be added to the end of the previous chapter.

But too quickly Papyrus was bolting upright at a loud sound against the front door. His Soul was instantly racing again, his magic spiking defensively. He’s a bit disoriented and not sure how long he’s been asleep but it is still dark outside and he thinks it can’t be that long, an hour or two at most- But that thought is overshadowed by the fear and the thoughts about what, who- There is another loud thump against the front door, like someone slamming against it.

Papyrus thinks- Sans- but it is quickly dismissed. Sans has a key and he doesn’t even need a key- Blipping out of one space into another in an instant. And if he comes through a door, it’s the one through the garage-

Then he thinks Undyne, but that can’t be it either- She has a key too, and if she were to come she’d be with Sans.

Alphys- No….

Another group of Royal Guards- ramming to knock down the front door-

Yes- No.

He doesn’t know.

Papyrus was standing as there was yet another loud thump. He was letting Chara’s hand slip out of his even as he Checked her.

*9/28

*Not quite out of the woods just yet…

But no matter how settled her Soul now was and how her fever had begun to fall would mean nothing depending on what was at the door and what could happen next.

Papyrus began to walk forward, a solid bone of magic forming in his hand. There was one more thump and Papyrus hesitated before peeking out the onto the porch through the peep hole.

His magic is spiking again but for an entirely different reason and he is immediately rushing to unlock and open the door.

“MK? What’s wrong?” Papyrus asked urgently, just seconds before the boy sprung forward.

* * *

 

_“Don’t you **ever** tell Mother anything about what happened.”_

MK knows, that despite his sister’s worry over him, she is also absolutely furious, too. She can’t hide it despite her seemingly calm demeanor. It’s there in the tone of her voice, in how she slips into calling their mom, Mother. She always gets more serious and closed off when she’s angry. He thinks that she thinks it makes her sound more mature and gives her some sort of advantage in whatever argument she’s in. There isn’t much of an argument right now, or maybe there is.. Some unspoken argument…

And she is furious.

She’s furious at him, at Sans, at herself, and most importantly, at The _Human_ …

And as much as she was worried about MK, now that she is sure that he is fine, she is more worried about herself and about their mother’s certain reaction if she did find out.

It would be the end of their days over at the Skeleton house and in turn, at his sister’s access to Dr. Undyne.

His sister would never risk that in a million years.

Not in a _million_.

But she doesn’t have to worry about MK saying anything…

MK doesn’t want to tell anyone much of anything at the moment.

He’s not sure what he would even say. How to explain… How to feel….

What to even tell himself.

His sister goes off with a dusty book beneath her arm.. At a glance it looks like a younger kid’s magic book.. He saw the word _Bullet_ ….

He assumes that the word behind it would be _Board_.

With his sister out of the way, MK rushes up too his room, falling face first against the steps for a moment before bouncing back up.

He doesn’t have a door for his bedroom, it doesn’t make sense to have a door that he would only have to struggle to open with his mouth each time. Instead, they have removed the door a long time ago off of its hinges and replaced it with just a heavy curtain. All the other doors in the house have old towels or ropes around the handles that he can use to help him. You can’t quite take the door off the bathroom after all. That’s weird.

MK pulled the curtain shut all the way with his tail before quickly racing to his window. It’s been his usual place for the last few weeks. He’s been watching the house across the street constantly in hopes of catching a glimpse of The Human with little success. Actually…. No success. He’s only been able to get glimpses of Sans and Papyrus coming and going from the house. Just normal. Though there was that one day when Papyrus had gone out to the car in the morning with Sans to head off to work only to rush back inside for a few minutes like he’d forgot somethin’ once his brother had gone… But that was it. The only thing out of place.

His sister had joined him at the window a few times, even though she had tried to pretend she wasn’t as agitated as him about it. Maybe even more..

Despite that eager desire, neither had dared disobey their mother for the same reason neither would tell her about what had happened.

Neither would risk her taking it away, no.

MK kept his face locked on the front window, but the curtains are closed. They do not move, even when MK holds his breath and silently demands it.

Several things have happened, though, since he’s come up here. All of it makes MK even more agitated.

Papyrus has come home. Racing too fast as he pulled into the driveway, even cutting the corner so that he almost hits the mailbox. Almost before the engine has even had the chance to cut completely off, Papyrus’ door was opening and he was getting out- Had he even taken the chance to buckle up? That was a bizarre and peculiar thing to note but it was a bizarre and peculiar thing for Papyrus to forget.

Papyrus had disappeared into the house, and a few minutes later, Sans had come out. Rushed and hurried. He put his helmet on, but MK somehow feels that this is just out of habit and that the helmet had still been on his motorcycle’s seat… MK can’t make out Sans’ face exactly from this far away, but his agitated and quick actions say everything, and MK is tense…. Worried even more.

Terrified, even.

But that stupid curtain- He can’t see!!

MK rested his forehead against the window with an exaggerated whine.

But as time passes, nothing changes that he can see in the house across the street…..

He’s called down for supper an hour later and he slowly descends the steps. He doesn’t want his disappointment and worry to show up on his face and he is doing his best to hide it, but it is hard. He’s not used to it. The smile on his face seems so fake and noticeable.

“There you are.” His mother chimes in, but her smile is strained too. “Where is your sister?” His sister came in right behind him, her face a scowl.

The children’s book is not with her like MK had anticipated. It must have not been as helpful as she had hoped. He vaguely wonders what it is she was looking for. The two sit down without much talking… Her mother picked up on it easily, there was an edge of suspicion in her gaze, and in her voice as she spoke again.

“So…?” She began. The question is implied. How was it?

“Mr. Sans said we couldn’t see it yet.” His sister said. MK glanced quick at his sister. Their mother, though, couldn’t hide her relief though she tried. His sister has just given the Skeleton brothers a few points in their mother’s eyes that they did not deserve, but…. MK is also grateful for the lie.

That’ll help explain his somber attitude and his lack of excited chattering.

“Well, you’ll get there eventually. It’s best to be safe than sorry.”

MK glanced at his sister again, but she doesn’t glance back. Instead, she is digging into her homemade mac n’ cheese that their mother has placed in front of her. MK’s attention was drawn to his own plate as their mother slid it over to him.

“We’re not waiting for Dad?” MK asked.

“He’s working late again tonight.”

“Oh…”

He bit his lip as he focused on the fork. It’s hard to eat with your tail, no matter how experienced you are. He’s just glad he doesn’t need the booster seat to lift him up anymore. His tail reaches the top of the table on its own, now.

If his mother and sister weren’t there, though, admittedly he’d just use his face…

As they ate, their mother interrogated them about their day. His sister was remarkable in her ability to lie. Her hand would hover with the fork near her mouth as she spoke, and then easily slip the food into her mouth without a care.

Talking about friends, some gossip at school, something new she’s studying.

“Is their any other books about bullet boards inside the house except the beginner’s journal?” His sister asked finally, but MK could tell that is the one thing she’s been wanting to ask since coming into the room.

Their mother’s face fell in confusion.

“Bullet boards? Aren’t you a little old for that?” She asked.

“It’s just light reading. Em’s little sister is starting to use them.” She said, referring to her best friend. MK knows the sister a little bit, she’s two grades bellow him but they have the same recess time. She’s kinda mean, at least to him, so he tries to avoid her. But he knows enough to know that she is already very adept at a bullet board almost to the point of no longer needing one.

“Well I don’t think there is.” Their mother said. His sister pressed her lips.

“May I ride my bike to the library after super? Before the sun goes down?” His sister is old enough to drive, but she hasn’t had the chance to get her license like her best friend Em has. Even if she had, MK doubted she would be able to get a car, also like Em had.

“I suppose.” MK is surprised, his sister would be pushing it to make it back in time before the sun disappears, but he supposes this is his mother’s way of consoling her for not being able see The Human… _Supposedly_ not being able to see The Human.

MK stared back down at his plate….

“Is something wrong, Sweetie?” His mother asked when he didn’t make a move to start eating… his not talking is suspicious too. “You feeling alright?”

“I..” MK began, but he has nothing to say-

“He’s just disappointed.” His sister cut in for him. “You know how he has been staring out that window for days trying to catch a glimpse.” Not days, MK thinks, weeks now…

Their mother frowned, she did not seem entirely convinced. She reached out a hand. MK tensed and closed off his thoughts the best he could as she touched his forehead and Checked him at the same time.

“Hmm… magic is stable.” She mused.

“I’m just tired.” MK told her.

His mother kept her eyes on him a moment longer before reluctantly giving in and began to life her fork to her mouth.

“Perhaps you should go to bed early.” She told him. “And if you still feel tired in the morning, I will give you a tablet.”

MK sighed.

He hated the tablets. He feels like a sodapop that’s been shaken but doesn’t have a chance to blow… but he supposes it’s better than feeling low energy and like a zombie.

And Mr. Sans had to take tablets growing up, too!....

That used to be inspiring, but now…

He’s not sure what to do…

How to feel…

And he’s glad that his mom didn’t seem to catch on to that when she’d Checked him.

He ate his meal, though slowly, even though he didn’t feel like eating because he didn’t want to cause any more suspicion. His mother continues to keep an eye on him, but she doesn’t say anything more. His sister finishes first and stands up, quickly taking up her plate.

“Be safe.” Their mother instructs. “And don’t take too long.”

“I’m fine.” Was the irritated reply and MK’s sister was heading out the door.

“Hmm.”

Later, MK was upstairs again and staring out the window… but nothing had changed. He fumed silently and kicked at the base of the wall lightly. He fell back into his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

He can’t stem off the thoughts anymore. The image of The Human and the darkness around the two of them… Her Soul….

MK had noticed The Human trying to do something with Sans as she had been forced through the attacks, but Sans had pushed it off so effortlessly. He’d been impressed.. The Royal Guard’s ability to block off any sort of manipulation. To stand firm..

But then….

The wide, red eyes had turned towards MK. Her Soul… Her intent… Turning towards MK.

That startling feeling. The world disappearing.

And a crushing wave of desperation. Fear. A distinct plea. And-!

People around him shouting, and-!

But then a sharp surge of magic, the wide, red eyes shifting and a horrified expression. Sans’s attack aimed straight at her.

And MK…..

He’d just acted.

Too much going on, but he acted…

He can’t explain it, it was like instinct. He had been so certain at that moment until he had been staring right into the mouth of Sans’ heated attack and he had paled.

But The Human……

_“IDIOT!”_

She had acted, too.

Protecting him when he had been trying to protect her…

_“You think that was what that was? Protecting you?”_

Wasn’t it?

_“She was clearly using you!”_

No….

Well, maybe….

No!

No…

He……

He’d felt her Soul…

She was so scared…

And yet…

MK sprung back up at the sound of an engine and glanced out the window… But it isn’t Sans in his motorcycle. It’s MK’s own dad pulling in, coming home for work…

Usually… MK races down to see him. Nearly killing himself on the steps each time. Today though, he’s frozen again. His mother had caught on to something being off, his father will hone in on it in an instant.

He jumped into the bed and burrowed into the covers to pretend to be asleep, or at least trying…

A few minutes later his dad came in and MK opened his eyes slightly.

“Hey, there’s my little man. You doing okay there?”

“Yeah… I’m just tired.” He said, the same lie. His dad put a hand on his head just like his mom had and Checked him. Still the same face, the same result.

“Hmm.”

They worry too much, but MK supposes that it only makes sense considering… even if MK hates it.

“Well alright, just get a good night’s sleep.” His dad told MK as he stood up.

“Okay…” MK said, he knows he’s not going to, though. His dad pulled the curtain closed and MK waited… listening to him go down the stairs. MK leapt back up and looked out the window.

Again…. No change.

It never changes except for the one time he thinks he sees the front curtain move. He stares without blinking for as long as he can but all that does is make his eyes burn and there are tears in his eyes.

But then the tears don’t stop.

When he realizes this, MK blinks rapidly and his breathing picks up.

He is burrowed under the covers again when someone pulls back the curtain and comes in. He can tell by the sound of the footsteps, it’s his sister. They are too light but even to be anybody else. She pulled back the blanket from over his head.

“Hey…” She said soflty and MK couldn’t’ hide the lingering tears in his eyes. “You okay?”

She seems a lot less furious now.

But MK still doesn’t know what to say… if there is anything to say… Because-

“Yeah.” He said softly.

But The Human…

There was a new spark of anger in his sister’s eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She tells him. “I should have been more careful and protected you better.”

MK bit down in indignation. She’s usually the one who treats him the most normal, but when she gets overprotective it feels the worst.

“I’m fine.” He says more bitterly. “Just tired.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I know you might be confused and disoriented by The Human’s attempt to get at you and manipulate you, but you have to know you’re safe and you don’t have to think of it ever again.”

It…

“You mean.. The Human or you mean what happened?”

“Both.” His sister told him. “We’ll just avoid the Skeletons for awhile. Mr. Papyrus said that they wouldn’t have The Human long, remember?”

MK’s insides twisted. He did remember.

His sister stood up and smoothed out her shorts as she did.

“Don’t wait for me tomorrow to go to the bus stop.” She told him. “Em’s picking me up.”

Going to be showing off her new car…

“Okay..”

Once the curtain was pulled back into place, MK let the fear finally show on his face as he stared ahead at the wall.

When Mr. Papyrus had said The Human wouldn’t stay long…..

MK is thinking about how Sans had been handling her. Forcing her every which way and then threatening her- That large dragon-like skull with its fiery mouth..

Her arms wrapping around him protectively- The true terror in her Soul… Terror for _him_ …

….. MK had just walked away. He’d just left her… there with Sans! Sans who was angry! Who wanted to hurt her! Maybe even-!

And MK had just gone home.

He….

The sun is gone and has been for awhile. The house has gone silent and all MK can hear is his own uneasy breathing and his racing thoughts. The images in his head, memories and imaged. It’s like he’s dreaming while awake. Or he supposes, having a nightmare..

He can’t….

MK was shaking as he managed to stand up and slowly began to make his way to the curtain. He peaked his head out…. The hall is dark and MK can hear his dad snoring a few rooms down. His mother will have her ear plugs in. He stands there a few minutes, unable to move, to take the first step. When he finally does, there is a rush of terror and he has to keep forcing himself from just running. Potentially tripping. Giving himself away. He stayed at a tip-toed pace and passed by his sister’s thankfully closed door.

When he gets to the stairs he takes all the care in the world going down. One slip and he’d tumble with no way to catch himself and that really would be the end of it.

Thankfully, he makes it to the bottom with little problem. MK raced to the front door, finally able to act as quickly as his body demanded. He unlocked it with his mouth before turning the knob with his tail-

He freezes again once it is open. He stares out across the front lawn to the road and then the house across the street. MK took several large breaths and then raced out across the lawn in the light of the street lamp that makes him feel exposed and vulnerable.

He’s then on the Skeletons’ front porch staring at the front door. He’s frozen once again.

But he’s going to do this. He’s going to do- He’s going-

Without letting himself think himself out of it… ML pounded his forehead into the doorbell-

But…. Nothing happens. It does not ring. He’s forgotten, it hasn’t worked for a few months now. For a moment MK panics, he’s about to lose his nerve and run back to his house, up the stairs, throw himself into bed. But…. But…. But!

MK took several large breaths before lifting his head and- he threw himself against the door forcefully. He doesn’t know what he wants. To knock down the door? To just draw attention? Can he really hope for either if they are in their bedrooms asleep?

He doesn’t know, and he is shaking as he took a step back and prepared to hit the door again still not having decided what he really wanted other than to… Other than….

MK hit the door again.

He had to stop for a moment to let the dizziness in his head recede, and he took a sharp breath at the sound of someone moving inside the house. He hadn’t expected it to happen so quick, whatever it was he wanted to happen to begin with. He took a step back in fear but then forced himself to kick the door this time. He wasn’t going to run. Wanted them to know for sure that someone was there-

But he is shaking. Just shaking.

And Papyrus was opening up the door; the lock turning fast, the door knob-

 “MK? What’s wrong?” Papyrus’ voice came in complete confusion and extreme worry. MK, not allowing himself to think, sprung forward.

Papyrus gasped, not having expected it and fell backwards as they collided. MK tumbled onto the ground next to him, but he is used to it. He’s getting back up fast.

“MK?” Papyrus was getting onto his knees and MK was breathing quickly but also trying to gather his confidence together.

“Stay..” MK began, his voice barely there and he had to take a few more deep breaths, but then… it surged up through him and he stood as defensively as possible, indicating his willingness to Fight.

“MK?”

“Stay away from her!” MK shouted…. What he had wanted to several hours earlier; when Sans and his sister had stood in his way… What he should have- “Stay away from her!”

And more importantly-

“Let her go!”

But even _more_ -

“She just wants to go home!”

And even though she isn’t wearing any stripes to show it-

“She’s just a kid like me! Like my sister!”

And-

“And! I-If you w-wanna hurt her again! You’ll have to go through me!!”

He knows what it is like to be bullied for something you just can’t help, and he is not going to let them keep hurting her when she’s done nothing wrong! Or at least.. is sorry that she did something wrong!

The only light is the light from the porch behind Papyrus that casts the taller skeleton’s face in shadow- MK cannot see his expression. Cannot tell what’s going to come next. Papyrus does not make a move from where he is, kneeling, though. The man seems frozen.

 “L-Leave… Leave her alone..” MK continued, but his confidence is dying out. Instead, there are tears coming back into his eyes. “Leave…”

“Are you…?” Papyrus began, bewildered, “are you talking about…?”

“Chara!” MK cried loudly, adamantly.

Papyrus now sank back down. It lets more light onto his face from the porch and MK can just barely see his expression. It’s wide and bewildered. It strikes MK that Papyrus does not know what happened that afternoon. MK notes… Sans had not taken long before leave after Papyrus had gotten home.

Fear creeps in as MK thinks this. A horrible thought that he had waited too long.

“Where is she?!” MK demanded. “What did you do to her?!”

There is fear, panic…

“I…. Sans….” It’s so weird… to have one of the people he looked up to, just earlier today, or he supposed now it was yesterday… But it was so weird… to have Papyrus there looking small. Even though he still was a foot or two taller even sitting down, the stance and energy radiating off Papyrus makes MK feel like he is looking down at the older Monster.

“Where is she?!” MK demanded again with renewing fear. Papyrus glanced to the side, towards the entrance of the living room and MK’s gaze quickly followed. And there in the light of the dining room, on the couch, is The Human….

Chara.

Her name is Chara.

_*Chara is Sparing you…_

MK took in a sharp breath and he raced into the room. He slowed as he got closer to the couch and his confidence is gone again. He can feel himself shaking. There’s so much magic off of her. She’s flooded with it. It reminds him of when he has to take an entire tablet but even that doesn’t really compare.

She’s hurt.

MK let her get hurt because he ran away.

He ran away and let Sans and Papyrus keep hurting her.

But now that he is standing there…

MK turned around to face Papyrus again, and despite his tears, he retook his trembling, defensive stance.

“I’m not going to let you kill her.” He means to sound confident but it sounds pathetic… It’s half of a whimper..

There is another pause… MK flinched when Papyrus finally did move, but the skeleton was only pointing towards the dining room.

But MK would not move and he regained his defensive stance even as his voice wobbled-

“I’m not going to let you kill her!” He cried.

“I’m not going to.” Papyrus’ voice is soft and MK doesn’t expect it. Doesn’t know what to do with it. Papyrus tilted his head and began to point towards the dining room where the light is on and shining into the room and this time MK can see Papyrus’ face. “Let’s… Let’s go talk where we won’t… disturb her.”

MK bit his lip… He doesn’t know if he should trust Papyrus anymore.. but there is something in Papyrus’ tone… in his expression… MK hesitates a moment more and glanced back at The Human- at Chara..

Her breathing is so shallow….

“Come on.” Papyrus encouraged gently. MK reluctantly turned back towards the dining room and Papyrus and after Papyrus had begun to take a few steps forward, MK reluctantly followed.


End file.
